I wake up remembering I have class today to deal with, I lazily get out of bed and do my make up. I throw on a skirt and crop top before heading out the door to see a vase of flowers. A dozen deep red roses petals carefully layered all around, I pick it up and the card setting the roses on my desk.

The card reads,

Dear Carmella,

I'm so sorry about last night, you are so right. I don't control you, you are your own person and that's one of the reasons why I fell in love with you. When we both finish our classes for today for the last day and we have break. We can go to my parents and me them and the other  week go to yours. Meet me at my dorm if your okay with this.

Love always, Ryder.

I smile and place it on my pillow, then leave the room going to my culinary class.

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I slice through a beautiful and nicely pigmented piece of fish. The knife sliding through it so easily making clean cuts through it. The head chef throws it in the pan with olive oil and it sizzles, other people do so as well.

"Okay, now add you seasoning mixture onto the fish and let cook for a minute." he says, I add the seasoning and then have it rest. My phone buzzes and I pull it out to see a text from Ryder. It reads Can't wait for tonight;)

I reply back and slip my phone into my back pocket, The chef walks over and glances at the fish in the pan. " Oh shiz!" I say as I see the crust is burnt, he throws it out. "Enough of this c***! Get out of my kitchen and don't come back!" His voice booms through the whole class and my face burns up. I throw off my apron and leave the room as anger rises in me.

I walk to my room and slam the door throwing a pillow of my roommates bed in frustration. Thoughts enter my mind and I sit on my bead trying desperately trying to clear my thoughts. I lay down to take a nap before my date with Ryder.

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My eyes open to see the clock, Only one hour till' Ryder comes, I hop out of bed and fix my make up. Brush my hair, and put on a red sweetheart top dress, silver heels, and leather jacket. A knock on the door makes me jump and I grab my phone before opening the door to see Ryder.

He see's me and sends me a smile, "wow you look...amazing!" He spits out, I blush and thank him. We crash lips and then I close the door and lock it. "Ready?" He questions, I nod and we walk to his car. "So how'd class o?" "ugh, don't even get me started."  I say, he laughs.

"What about you?" I ask, "okay. I was looking forward to out date all day. Hope you like seafood and ocean views." He says, "well I do live in San Fransisco." I say, he nods remembering and we get in his car. He starts it up and makes his way out of the tight parking space.  When he's out he leaves the campus and speeds up on the road taking me to Bubba Gump.

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50 minutes later...

I walk to the table with Ryder and we sit down receiving our menus. "Thanks so much for taking me here babe." I say to him, he smiles and nods. "So do you have any idea what you may like?" "Not as of yet." Minutes past and the waiter comes back forcing me to order.

"I'll take the salmon veggie skillet and a water with lemon." "And I'll have  a beer with shrimp scampi." He says showing his ID. He turned twenty-one two weeks ago and tomorrow is my birthday. The lady makes her way to the kitchen and Ryder looks at me. "Why'd you order so light?" He asks, I shrug but the reason is so I can be skinnier.

I already know he'd say I'm fine and don't need to lose weight but I need myself to tell the truth. "So what do you want to talk about?" He asks, the lady comes over and sets our beverages on the table for us. He grabs his beer and takes a swig, I take a small sip of my water. "well, what do you wanna talk about?"

" I always hate having to choose."Why not?" "Cause then others may not be satisfied with my decision." He nods understanding where I'm coming from. He chugs on his beer, and sets it down. "Brb, I have to use the bathroom." I say, I walk to the back and open the door. The smell of poop and pee fills the air.

I crinkle my nose and walk in the stall and close the door locking it. I empty myself out and wash my hands before going back to wait for my meal with Ryder.

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I lay in my bed my stomach still feeling full from the dinner Ryder and I both consumed, after awhile I think he got drunk. My mind slows down and my eyes start to close. With the little energy I have left I crawl in my covers and drift to sleep.