Carmella's P.O.V

I feel like me and guys are like oil and water. We just don't mix, or maybe it's me. I'm the one that's responsible for screwing up my realationships. Whatever the case I just wish I wasn't such an idiot when I kissed Clay. Because Ryder was my guy but I just had to get caught up with Clay. I'm hoping that Ryder will take me back and we can be together and sane again but I think I really hurt him.

I walk in the donut shop and smell grease and glaze and coffee. All of which shall be consumed by me, I walk up to the counter and order a lattè and sugar donut. With a purchase of $6.03 I get my stuff and sit at a table to eat it. But throughout my meal all I can focus my mind on is Ryder. My heart has this horrible habit of easily falling for guys and being unsatisfied with the amazing guy I have in the current moment. And I am ashamed of myself for my disgusting past of wanting every guy. I'm a disappointment, poison, and harmlessly cold. It's no wonder I always lose and gain guys back.

After my donut I take me drink and leave the shop getting in my car and driving to Ryder's campus. It's time for me to make the move. Not the guy.
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I knock on Ryder's dorm room door waiting for it to open and as well as my arms for him. But instead of him opening the door it's his roomate, "where's Ryder?" I ask, "he had class what do you want?" He asks harshly, "ha, um can I leave a message?" I ask, he nods and then I see Ryder push him out the way and appear in front of me shirtless. His jair swiftly messy but attractive. "Oh, you're here." I say. He nods. "Um, well I just wanted to talk to you alone." I say entering.

Ryder tells his roomate to leave and then I sit by him on the couch. "Look I am a horrible girlfriend. And I can understand the current situation you are in. I've gone through it twice so you know. "Then why'd you do it to me!" He yells, " because Ryder my heart has a habit of being a booch! I am screwed up but really want a life with you and I can see us having kids. And I really love you and miss you and I-." He stops me by kissing me. And then pulls me close to him as his body warmth comforts me. Then he let's go.

"Gosh, I've missed you to. Your smile, smell, voice, all of it Carmella. Please never leave me again, or hurt me. Please." He pleads, I nod and kiss him back wrapping my arms around him and then the door opens and I pull away, "well then. Guess you guys made up." His roomate says, I nod blushing and smiling like a little girl in a candy store holding her teddy. "Your like my teddy bear." I say, he laughs and holds me even closer as I smile inside and outside.
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"Carmella wake up." I hear Ryder whisper, "you decided to fall asleep on my couch for two hours. I realized twenty minutes through our movie you weren't just laying in my lap. He says laughing, I laugh too and sit up and cross my legs. I have on leggings, a grey long sleeve knit sweater thats long, and a white t shirt. My hair is in a bun that's medium sized with strands out. My hair has been growing longer luckily as well. My head rests on Ryder's shoulder and he smiles and kisses my head. "You look sleepy." "Yah, whyyyaya did yuu wick meh?" I mumble, "was that even english?!" He asks laughing loudly during. "Why'd you wake me." I say clearly, he laughs. "Because we have a date to go on."

I leap up and put on my black flats and grab his arm, "let's go!" I shout happily. He laughs yet again and we leave his dorm and head for his car walking down steps and through halls and past buildings all before we arrive at his motorcycle instead. "I forgot about this!" I say, he nods as I hop on and he revs it up. We each wear a helmet and he drives away from his college and takes me somewhere. The sky is kinda dark as lights start turning on and he turns his on. My arms wrap tightly and securely around him for safety and happiness. Cars past us but as for some we past them because of our speed on this thing. Ryder turns and I shift my body weight to the same side he does.

We turn and drive untill we arrive at a beach. Curiosity overcomes me as we walk down to it but then I see lights and hear music and see people dancing. Then a concert. The Neighborhood. "My parents paid them five thousand dollars to come out here for us, and we get front row." He says, I smile and run with him up to the front row. They end a song and I frown, "don't worry they'll sing soon." He says. I nod and we sit, I sit criss cross apple sauce as he keep his legs open for me to sit in the space, he gets a cover wrapping it around our bodies completely from the beaches freezing breeze. And I lay back on him as he sets a kiss on my head.