Potentially the only thing I do in this book is reminiscence about my life. I'm not sure if it helps anything.

Anyhow, Christmas is quickly approaching. I'm not sure what I should do for it. Sure, sure, I've celebrated it with the Avengers a few years, but a part of me is saying to change it up. I'm almost tempted to ask Stark for ideas, but I'm clueless to how that may go.

I remember my old Christmases (and here you're probably going: oh here he goes again.). My ma was so wonderful. She used to work hard despite her conditions just to try to get me something. I'm forever grateful, but sometimes all I wanted was for her to be here on Christmas. I didn't care much for the material gift, I just wanted to be in her arms and know she's alright. I mean, it was pretty scary for a kid like me. I could barely manage myself when she was around - I had no clue of how to survive when she wouldn't be here.

Maybe that's why I'm fortunate enough that I didn't have to. When she passed, Bucky used to be that protector for me. Yeah, yeah, sure I'd drive him crazy because I got into every fight and conversation I could practically stick my nose into. I'm grateful for him.

Anyways, my ma and I used to go to those Christmas services at church. They were nice. I remember humorously not being able to see anything because I was the shortest kid there. Well, not the shortest, but it sure felt like it. When I was younger, she used to lift me up onto her shoulders so I could see. It didn't last for long because I used to get embarrassed about it.

Maybe I wished I would've appreciated that longer.

When Bucky came around, he didn't have much either. We did fun activities for Christmas. I loved it entirely. I think once we had a snowball fight, but I got sick due to hypothermia. He felt awful. We spent that entire Christmas with me lying in bed as he's trying to make some soup. He was the sweetest kid. I mean, he was also a huge jerk. That's beside the point.

We always did things together during Christmas. That's what made them so special to me.

Maybe what I'm getting at here is that something like that is worth a try. I wonder if I could bring the others to do something fun? We can spend it bonding, not really so much focusing on materialistic items. Our relationships last longer, I know that. Relationships are more important than anything.

I don't know if others will agree, but you'll never know unless you don't try.

I'm going to give a talk to them.

Steve Rogers