Four Things I Lost


I leaned forward in the chair, my face resting in the palms of my hands as I listened to the worried voice of Bertram. I could almost hear the anxiousness of our boss as Bertram held his phone to the side of his face, the click of his shoes on the hard floor growing closer before he spoke to me yet again. If not for the fact that I had already verified multiple times that Bertram's eyes were his own usual brown, I would have been wondering if Morcant had reappeared, the worry in the room was so thick around him.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital, (y/n)? At least have them check you over before going home?" Even hearing such a usually egocentric man showing such concern, I could only lift my head just enough to shake it before sighing and slumping forward a bit more.

I was beginning to wonder if the boss had threatened him with something, although I had no proof since I could barely hear anything coming from the other side of the phone besides the occasional static that Bertram's cheap phone gave off. Heavens forbid the man to spend some of his money to get a decent phone that actually works right.

"I just want to go to bed and sleep. I'm tired, that's all. Just... tired," I mumbled as I pressed my hands against my eyelids, the sudden bloom of red reminding me of Morcant's hair. "Please, if you are going to take me anywhere, just take me home so I can rest."

********

It was nearly an hour later that I finally closed the door to my apartment, sliding the lock into place that I had installed after the incident with Arthur. I didn't move away from the door until I heard the sound of his car fade into the distance, finally making my way towards my bedroom with nothing more than the dim light that filtered its way through the curtains.

After a quick trip to the bathroom, I climbed into bed and quickly slipped into a deep sleep, dreaming of dancing upon a frozen lake surrounded by shattered swords as red and green wisps of light chased each other at the edges of my vision.

********

"I know that she is not my (y/n), I know this, but I can't help seeing the similarities between the two. Out of all the dimensions I have searched, the hundreds of thousands of worlds I have walked looking for her, this is the only one with a (y/n) that holds the same fire within her that mine had, wouldn't you agree?" Morcant turned his head slightly to glance at the tiny fae-born creature perched in one of the ancient tree's sweeping branches, its small wings fluttering as it tilted its head to one side and released a small hum of words.

Shifting upon the 'throne' created from some of the tree's interwoven branches, the red-haired half-fae peered once more into the bowl of mist he held, visions of another world shimmering within.

"Yes, there is a chance that could be true. All the more reason to send her a guardian, one who can protect her when I am not able to be present myself. Bring me the strongest three, warrior, mage, I care not what their power comes from. I will pick one among them to send," his eyes never left the bowl as he spoke, nor did he shift his gaze when the small fae departed at his command, flying swiftly to gather the requested three.

********

Although its natural instinct called for it to play around, the small being gave itself a quick shake and hurried onward. It might have a bit of its own mischief to play when the time was right, but even the bravest of its trickster race knew better than to do anything that could upset Morcant's plans. Not after what happened last time, when everything had gone so horribly wrong. At least he'd left enough of them alive to keep the race from dying out.

Now, which three to gather for him, as he left it rather open on how to judge their power? Hmmm... Perhaps he would be a good choice. Yes, now just to decide the other two!

With those thoughts, the small creature changed its course, turning to head towards the darkness that shifted restlessly deep within the distant mountains.

********

"Morcant..." the name escaped sleeping lips as I tossed and turned in my bed, finally waking myself up when I tumbled to the floor after rolling one too many times to the left.

Rubbing my now aching hip, I pulled myself to my feet and shuffled into the bathroom. The last time I had fallen out of bed like that, I had been a child still filled with dreams of knights and dragons while I watched from a tower or of elven kings and queens holding court in a fanciful forest. Something I had been calling foolish for most of my life, but suddenly seeming to be perhaps a little less foolish since Morcant came along.

Spitting the remains of berry-flavored toothpaste into the sink, I looked into the mirror and stared back into eyes that held a hint of the child I used to be, that twinkle of wonder that had vanished so long ago back once again. After all, it was hard not to start believing in fairytales again when I seemed to be caught right in the middle of a real one. After all, even with the highest levels of technology, teleportation was still beyond our grasp and last time I checked, holograms couldn't actually kiss someone.

Tracing my finger across my lips, I could still taste the honey and mint that had seemed to saturate my mouth with every moment he kissed me. The berry-flavored toothpaste had done nothing to remove the flavor and to be honest, I didn't really mind if this taste remained for the rest of the day. It reminded me of the tea my grandmother would give me on those rare visits to her home, back before she passed away and all the magic in the world seemed to be gone with her. I'd lost so much when she died. My grandmother, of course, but also my childhood innocence, my belief in all things magical and, what hurt most of all, my foolish notion that love could do anything if it was strong enough. No matter how much I had loved my grandma, it had failed to keep her alive and it failed to bring her back to me, no matter how long I waited for her to return.

But maybe, just maybe, it was okay to believe in magic, just this once. And maybe love, too.


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