Now what?

Looking towards the main room of the dojo as I sit alone on the bench of the training room, I take a deep breath.

Now what am I going to do? How do I go back out there and be just me? More importantly, how is she going to feel about it? She saw me as a slayer. We faced off against each other and had a lot of fun doing it. How is she going to feel about the fact that we can't do that anymore? Is she going to be okay with that? Or is she going to start wanting to be with a slayer instead of me?

I can't do all the great things that a slayer can. There won't be any back flips or spin kicks or anything like that when I step out of that door. I'm just a clumsy young girl who isn't really all that special. How do I compete with all the other slayers out there that can do the things that she can and more? That has to be sexier than being me. So what do I do now? I can't sit here in this room forever. But the second I walk out that door, I won't have all the cool powers I have now. It'll all go away and I won't be able to compete.

What do I do? I don't want to, but I have to. If only there were some way I could know how Faith feels. But I can't. She's out there with her class explaining all the mistakes they made when they faced off against me. I can't just go out there and ask her to talk about our relationship. Not with my sister, Willow, and a whole class full of slayers out there with her. It would be completely rude of me not to let her do that, but I don't know that I can make this decision without talking to her first.

My head drops into my hands as I try to calm down.

What am I supposed to do? How do I make this decision without some kind of help?

Just then, I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"You okay kiddo?"

Oh thank god.

I raise my head to look over at Willow sitting next to me.

"Uh, yeah..."

She gives me the same type of sympathetic look I saw on her face last night.

"Come on Dawnie, if that didn't work before, what makes you think it's going to work now?"

Looking down at the floor, I smile a little because of her question.

"Nothing, I guess."

We sit there together for a moment in silence before Willow interrupts it.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with you and Faith playing tongue twister, would it?"

What?

Our eyes meet as I feel a sense of shock wash over me.

"What do you mean?"

"Hey it was pretty obvious after I saw the two of you together. Faith may have said she wasn't going to take things easy on you, but I could tell she was being very careful not to do anything that would come close to hurting you. I've seen Faith hold nothing back and that wasn't it. She has a thing for you... and I get the impression that the feeling is mutual."

Hearing her say that makes me blush.

"Can I take the deep red you're turning as a confirmation?"

Her question gives me a reason to nod.

"And that somehow has stopped you from leaving the training area?"

Again, I nod nervously. Willow continues her line of questions.

"What can I do to help?"

My eyes drift to the doorway to the main room of the dojo.

"I don't know if I can face her."

"Why not? You did great Dawn. You beat all 15 of her students. If anything I would think she'd be proud of you."

Taking a long deep breath, I explain.

"That's actually the problem."

"What do you mean?"

"She... Faith saw me as a slayer. How good I would be as a slayer. I don't know if I can live up to that."

"Live up to it how?"

I let our eyes meet as I keep explaining.

"I'm not a slayer. The second I walk out that door, I'm just going to be me. How do I know that next time we spend time together, she's not going to be wishing I kept the slayer powers? I can't do all the things that she can with other slayers. What if she starts wanting to be with a slayer because they're better than me?"

Willow puts her arm around my shoulders and sighs.

"Dawn, if what you guys have is real, then whether or not you can do back flips and kill demons shouldn't matter."

"I know. I just wish I could know for sure that walking out that door won't change how she feels about me. Unless..."

Now that's an idea.

"What?"

"Is there some way that you could make the spell you did permanent? Like, so I don't have to give this up when I walk out the door?"

The sympathetic smile on her face turns slightly sad from my question.

"Sweetie... you know you weren't meant to have these powers. They aren't yours to keep. If you were, you would've been activated with all the other slayers back in Sunnydale. And even if I did somehow manage to let you keep these powers, there's a really good chance that could seriously mess up the slayer line and maybe even the rest of the world. I'm not willing to take that chance. Are you?"

She's right, I can't keep these powers. It wouldn't be right.

"No..."

Slowly, the sadness goes away.

"I'll tell you what I will do though. I'll go get Faith and the two of you can talk this out together. How's that sound?"

All I can do to that is nod.

"Okay... be right back."

She gets up from the bench next to me and flashes a slightly happier smile my way before heading out of the training area.

I guess I didn't think about how doing this would affect things with me and Faith before agreeing to do this. All I was really thinking about was how cool it would be and that I'd get a chance to kick Candy's butt. It was such a fun idea, I didn't really think far enough ahead to what would happen after. The thought that Faith might think less of me after seeing me teach her class a lesson never occurred to me. Now suddenly I have to and it totally sucks. This relationship stuff is a lot harder than I thought it would be.

I'm so wrapped up in my thoughts that I don't notice Faith walking into the training room.

"Hey Dawn..."

Looking up, our eyes meet and she smiles at me.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm okay... for the most part."

"Willow said you wanted to talk to me?"

"Umm... yes, I did."

Faith crosses the distance between us and sits down to my right, on the opposite side of where Willow was sitting a second ago.

"About what?"

Her expression is one of concern as we look at each other and it lets me know that it's okay to talk to her about this.

"About... umm... us... kinda..."

The smallest bit of confusion mixes with the concern.

"Okay..."

All right... just ask the question and hope that the conversation goes the way you hope it will.

"Are... are you, gonna be okay with the fact that I'm not a slayer? You know, now that you've seen what I would be like if I was a slayer. Now that I'm, just a girl?"

She smiles at me and it's my turn to be confused.

Why is she smiling?

Reaching out, she cups my cheek gently and the warmth of her hand makes me feel really good.

"Dawn, you don't have to worry about that."

"I don't?"

She shakes her head gently.

"Of course not. That's not why I want you."

Oh...

"You weren't a slayer when we first started hanging out. And you weren't a slayer when we had our first kiss either. Being with you isn't about whether or not you're a slayer. That's not the part of me that I want to share with you. I want to share with you the part of me that very few people ever really see. The real me."

All I can do is look at her as she speaks softly.

"I'm a slayer and I wouldn't have it any other way. But most people define me by the slayer part of me because I like being that way. That's not all I am though."

"I guess I can understand that. Back during the whole thing with Glory, a lot of people tried to say that I was just a key. Even I thought that's all I was, that I wasn't real."

"It's not true though. How I feel isn't going to change whether you're a slayer or not. You're a person, and so am I. That's why I love you, because of who you are, not what you are. I can only hope that you feel the same way."

Wait... did she just say what I think she said?

"Did... what did you say?"

She stays silent for a second, thinking about what she said.

"Did you just say you love me?"

Faith nods slowly.

"I did... because it's true. I'm in love with you Dawn."

My heart might as well stop all together when I hear her say those words.

"I... I'm in love with you too Faith."

The smile on her face after I tell her how I feel makes me feel like crying for joy.

"I, I wasn't sure that... that you felt the same way. You really...?"

Knowing how she feels about me stops me from finishing the question as I all but choke on the tears about to come pouring out of me.

"I do. I love you Dawn."

With her last words, she leans forward and presses her lips to mine, kissing me. It takes me less than a second to start kissing her back. Our kiss slowly deepens but before it gets too deep, she pulls back and looks me in the eyes.

"I never would've stopped what we were doing that time you came to my place after school if I didn't."

We stare into each other's eyes for a few moments before I put my arms around her and hug her to me tightly. Staying that way while the seconds pass, I squeeze her a little tighter.

"Don't think for a second that whether or not you're a slayer will ever change what I feel for you."

How could I with what she just said? She loves me, and I love her. Faith loves me. That means more to me than I could ever tell her.

"I won't."

After a few more seconds of hugging, we pull back from each other. She looks me in the eyes and I can't help but lean in and kiss her deeply. We keep kissing until a cough is heard from the doorway. The kiss is broken reluctantly and we both look to see Willow standing there.

"Did you need another minute or can I tell you that the girls wanted to invite the Dawnster to an impromptu party they've decided to throw in her honor?"

They want to throw me a party? I would've thought that most of them would hate me after the way I beat them.

"A party?"

"Yeah, it was Pam's idea. She figures you were such a kick ass fighter for only having the powers for a couple of minutes before taking them all on, that you deserved a party. After that, Buffy pretty much insisted that the class all be there, not that any of them objected. We're gonna have it at some club called Slash."

Wow, I guess they don't all hate me. But then, Faith and I had plans to go out tonight. I don't want to cancel our plans.

"Well, Faith and I kinda had plans to do something tonight..."

"We should go to the party."

What?

My eyes meet Faith's at her words and she smiles at me.

"You deserve it Dawn. Pam's right, you were one kick ass slayer. That deserves a party. We can go out some other time. For now, if the girls want to party hearty with you, I say go for it. As long as I can come that is."

As long as Faith's there, I don't see a problem with it.

"Uh, okay. Sure..."

I stand up and Faith joins me. There's a mischievous look on Willow's face as we make our way towards her. Faith puts her arm around my shoulders as Willow walks back into the main room and we follow her. Buffy and the rest of the girls all look our way. The second I pass through the doorway, a wave of dizziness washes over me. I lean forward like I'm going to fall over but Faith catches me and hold me up.

"You okay Dawn?"

I feel... normal. All that strength and speed I felt until just a second ago is gone. There's a small tingly feeling through me but otherwise I feel exactly like I did before the spell.

My eyes meet Faith's and the look in them hasn't changed. It feels like nothing's changed. The expression on her face makes me smile at her.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

She smiles back and ever so gently squeezes my shoulder.

"Okay then... let's party."

* * *

The music moves me in a way I've never felt before as I dance on the dance floor. All around me are people I know pretty well. The girls from Buffy's class, most of which go to my school, are dancing around me and it's great.

I don't think I've ever felt this way when I've danced. Before when I used to dance like this, I felt like I was escaping something. It felt like I had to get away from my life and the people in it. But these are the people in my life, and I don't want to be anywhere but here. This is where I want to be. These are the people who I want to be here with, and they want to be here with me.

That's something I don't remember ever feeling before. I like it. I want to feel this way all the time. It's like, everything is absolutely perfect the way it is. Like I know who I am and who I am is okay. I've always wanted to feel this way. I just never understood why I didn't. Sometimes I thought it was because of where I came from. The way I was brought into this world. I used to think that I wasn't meant to be happy because of what I am or was.

That doesn't matter anymore though. Right now, the only thing I feel is happy. I'm happy to be with the people I'm with. I'm happy with the things that I have and... I'm happy with my life.

My hips shake to the catchy beat of the music. I let my eyes drift over the dance floor, catching the eyes of most of the girls I took on in a sparring match not more than two hours ago. It isn't long before my eyes fall on the person I'm searching for.

Probably the biggest reason why I'm so happy though, is her. After what she said to me, who could blame me for being happy? She said she loves me. She said she loves me and I said so back. We love each other and it feels great. This isn't just some fling or experimentation for us. This is real. There are actual feelings that actually mean something.

Being happy doesn't even begin to cover it. I'm so beyond happy I don't even know if there's a word for what I'm feeling. All those English classes and I can't think of a word to describe what this is like. But then, I don't really need words for the way I'm feeling when I can see the look of happiness on her face across the dance floor from me. That just says it all.

She's happy, I'm happy, and we're happy because we're together and having fun. Sure there are other people with us and we're having fun with them too, but every time our eyes meet, I just know that she's thinking the same thing I am. She's wishing that it was only me and her on this dance floor, dancing together like usual. Even though I'm happy doing what I'm doing, having so much fun, when our eyes meet, I can't help but think that I'd be having even more fun if it was just her I was dancing with.

Feeling her body up against mine, dancing as if not being so close would kill us. Knowing I could reach out and touch her within inches of me. God that would be such a good feeling. But we can't. If we were that close, people would notice. Buffy would notice. And as great as knowing that Faith feels about me the same way I feel about her is, I'm still not quite ready to let my sister know what Faith and I feel for each other. I'm not ready for anyone to know just yet. If Willow hadn't pretty much figured it out on her own and helped me sort things out a little better, I probably wouldn't want her to know either. I just want to enjoy being with Faith for a while.

The song that's been pounding through the club for the past couple minutes slowly fades out. Some of us stop dancing and leave the dance floor while a few of the others wait for the next song to start up. Slowly, I make my way through the crowd towards the booths we've all but commandeered from the rest of the club for the party. The sight of Faith heading to the same booth I am with Buffy and Willow makes me smile.

Today's been a pretty good day, and tonight is looking just as good. It's nice to feel this good.

We all make it to the booth at about the same time, sliding in so we can sit down together. As if by some strange karma thing, Faith and I end up sitting together on one side, with Buffy next to Faith and Willow on the other end. It's comfortable and yet kinda strange at the same time. Faith decides to break the silence.

"That was fun."

Buffy is the first to comment.

"Yeah, it was. It's been a while since I've had this much fun."

"That's because you spend most of your time sitting around the apartment and watching movies. You should get out more B."

I used to tell her that all the time before I started doing it myself.

"Nah, I'm kinda burned out on the club scene. Once in a while is great. Make sure I can still cut up a dance floor like the rest of the world seems to. But overall, I think I just prefer a quiet evening at home."

Willow decides to jump in, beginning with a scoff.

"Then how are you ever going to meet some hot young beef stick?"

My sister just rolls her eyes.

"I told you before Will. I don't want to meet anyone. I'm off the market with extreme prejudice for a while. And don't any of you dare try to fix me up on a blind date or anything. If you do, there will be slaying."

It's Willow's turn to roll her eyes before a silence comes over the table for a while. Buffy interrupts it.

"What about you Dawn?"

Me? What about me what? What about me and dating?

I glance at Faith for a split second.

"Are you having fun tonight?"

Oh...

"Uh, yeah... I am."

Buffy smiles.

"Good, you deserve it. You really did us proud with the way you handled the class. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were a born slayer. Those girls didn't know what hit them."

"Well, I just did like you taught me. It's a lot easier to do it though with slayer strength and speed."

"Yeah but everything's easier with slayer strength and speed. They have it easy."

Willow and I smile at each other knowingly. Buffy and Faith both audibly gasp in mock offense before Faith complains.

"Like being the world's most powerful witch doesn't give you any advantage whatsoever."

"Maybe, but I've got to work for powers like yours that just come naturally to you. It's a lot more work."

That gives me a reason to interject.

"Wow, sounds like I'm the only semi-normal person at this table."

They all look at me suspiciously. Willow's the first to say anything.

"Right because lots of normal people can make world's crash into each other until oblivion."

Now it's my turn to pretend to be offended.

"That only happened the one time and it hasn't happened since. You should be thankful for that."

"No one's more thankful for that then me Dawnie. I'd really rather not die again any time soon. Three and a half times was more than enough."

We all kinda laugh at the conversation we're having before settling back into the comfortable silence of being with friends.

This is a lot of fun. Even with my constant need to push back the need to make out with Faith because I'm so close to her.

"You know what?"

Faith, Willow and I look at my sister as she speaks.

"I think we could use a couple drinks. What does everyone want? I'm buying."

"You know, I could probably go for a Shirley Temple."

My sister nods in acknowledgement before looking at me and Faith.

"Well if you're buying then I'll go for a scotch on the rocks with a twist."

"Sure... Dawn?"

All right, might as well at least try.

"Rum and Coke?"

A disapproving glare comes over my sister's face and I know it's not a good idea to argue because I'm not going to win.

"Just a coke."

"All right... Will, mind letting me out?"

"No problem."

Willow slides out of the booth and my sister follows her, heading for the bar.

"I'll be right back."

Buffy leaves and Willow slides back into the booth across the table from Faith and I.

"You know what, while B's getting the drinks, I think I'll go fix my make up. Dawn, want to come?"

She wants me to come watch her fix her make up?

Our eyes meet for a second and it takes me a second to realize she's not really interested in her make up.

Oh...

"Yeah, sure, why not."

I look at Willow as I slide out of the booth.

"Are you gonna be all right by yourself for a few minutes?"

Willow smiles.

"Don't worry, if worse comes to worst I'll conjure myself someone to talk to. And I'll be sure to keep Buffy from looking for you if she comes back before you do."

"Appreciate that Red."

Faith nudges me the rest of the way out of the booth and I stand up. As Faith stands up after, she intentionally brushes herself up against me.

Like I needed anymore signals.

Faith and I immediately make our way through the dance floor towards the bathroom. She grabs my hand as we weave our way through the crowd. Finally, we make it to the bathroom and we all but break the door down. Faith checks out the bottoms of the stalls quickly to make sure no one else is in here before turning to me. She all but runs into me when she puts her arms around me, pressing our bodies together as she pushes me up against the sinks.

All I can do is enjoy myself while she kisses me with a heck of a lot of passion. Kissing her back with all the pent up feelings I've had since the conversation we had back at the dojo, I moan into her mouth. We only break the kiss once breathing becomes an issue and we both smile.

"I've been wanting to do that for a few hours. Ever since our conversation."

Good to know we really were having the same thoughts.

"I know the feeling."

Her hips grind against mine a little and my first instinct is to push back. She leans forward to kiss me but stops, and then I kinda do the same thing.

"I love you Dawn."

God it feels so good to hear that.

"I love you too Faith."

We both smile for a second before the passion running between us forces us to kiss again. One of my hands slides its way down her back, cupping her ass. The feel of my hand on her ass causes her to moan while we kiss. My legs open slightly as I feel her thigh slip between mine. She moves her hips against mine while her right hand slides its way up my side to my breast. Faith gropes my tit and I arch my back into her touch.

She makes me feel great. I wish we could do this all the time.

Just then, one of the stalls opens and we break apart suddenly in shock. Straightening up and moving away from the sink counter, we look to the stall, seeing Tess standing outside it. She smiles at both of us.

Okay... now what do I do?

"Hey Tess..."

At least Faith is handling this well. I can't help but wonder what's going to happen when Tess tells my sister... or Candy.

"Hi..."

Tess walks over to the nearest sink with a huge grin on her face and starts washing her hands.

All right... time for me to actually say something.

"We were just, talking."

My sister's assistant chuckles.

"Sure you were. Lots of people moan and make out while talking."

So, I can't lie my way out of this. It never was my best quality.

I look to Faith for help. Thankfully, Faith takes the lead.

"I do it all the time, particularly with Dawnie here."

Maybe I spoke too soon.

"Well, my parents taught me that however people like to communicate is none of my business."

Tess finishes washing her hands and dries them with paper towel.

Or maybe I didn't.

"Are you gonna tell anyone?"

She looks between me and Faith slowly, a smile on her face.

"If it's none of my business, I don't see how it's anyone else's business. Why would I tell anyone?"

Hearing her say that makes me feel a lot better.

"Thanks..."

Tess throws her paper towel out and heads for the door.

"No problem..."

Then she's gone.

Geez that was a close call. What if that had been Buffy?

I turn to Faith and she smiles at me when I let out a deep breath.

"That was close."

Faith opens her arms and puts them around me. I hug her back.

"It'll be all right Dawn."

She hugs me a little tighter before continuing.

"Someone had to find out about us eventually."

"I guess..."

"Sooner or later we'll have to start telling people, or they'll figure it out on their own. Like Willow did."

As we pull back from each other, I take another long, deep breath.

She's right. We will have to tell people. My sister especially.

"I'm not ready to tell Buffy... not yet."

Her hand comes up under my chin.

"Whenever you're ready. I'm not going to push you."

She is being so incredible to me. It just makes me want her so much more.

"Kiss me."

With a big smile on her face, she leans in and kisses me passionately. Our kiss breaks earlier then the last couple and we look into each other's eyes.

We should really get back.

"People are going to start to wonder about us if we don't make an appearance soon."

"You're right, let's go."

We head out of the bathroom together, ready to have more fun.