(Guys, it's the 69th episode chapter 😎)

...

Scott looks down at the inhaler in his hand, turning it over and over as he thinks. "My asthma is back. I'm not sure how, but it came back. Just as bad as it used to be. So now, I keep an inhaler on me all of the time. Just like I used to. And it's been five days. We haven't seen any new chimeras, and we haven't seen the Dread Doctors. We all go to school, pretending like nothing's happened. But everyone seems to know." Scott walks down the halls of the highschool, the atmosphere in the building dull and lifeless. His fellow students wear similar downcast expressions, unable to bring a smile to their faces for reasons unknown to them. "You just walk down the halls and no one's smiling. No one's laughing. You get the feeling that everyone can sense that something's coming. They just don't know what it is, or how bad it's going to be." A girl passes by Scott, barely giving him a glance as she keeps her eyes downcast. Scott pauses as he looks down at the inhaler in his hand. "Everytime I feel like I should do something about it, I find myself reaching for my inhaler. Like, I'm going to take a hit of it and- and come up with some brilliant solution on how to save everyone. But I don't know what to do. I don't think anyone does." He puts the inhaler in his pocket as he looks around. "Maybe that's why no one's really talking to each other. Sometimes we don't even notice each other." Y/n and Stiles walk into the school together although, like everyone else, they also aren't smiling. Each brought down by their own problems and the secret they share. Malia walks in behind them, yet none of them notice the other, just going about their usual paths. "But I think some of us are okay with that. Because not talking makes it easier to keep secrets." Malia discretely looks at photos of The Desert Wolf and her recent kill while in class. "And I don't know if anyone's really lying about things. Maybe it's more like lies of omission." Stiles sits on his bed as he pulls down the collar of his shirt to look at the still healing circular bite mark on his shoulder. Y/n stands in front of him and gently moves his hands to put his shirt back in place. She wraps her arms around him as he lays his head against her side. "Maybe the worst lie is to Stilinski. Because no one's told him about Parrish yet. Then again, no one's told Parrish either. He doesn't seem to remember taking the bodies. And we think that he's only really dangerous if you try to get in his way. If Stilinski knew the truth, he'd definitely get in his way. So Lydia, Y/n, and Stiles are trying to find the bodies, which means finding the Nemeton." The three climb out of Lydia's car, glancing at each other before starting their next search through the trees. "They're driving around, searching all of the woods. But the last time that we found this thing, three of us had almost drowned in ice water for a spell. We're not the only ones looking for chimeras. Stilinski's got everyone looking for the next target. Questioning anyone who's a genetic chimera. Anyone who's got two sets of DNA. No one really knows what they're looking for. Some think it's a serial killer. Some probably know it's worse. The two chimeras that we know about, Hayden and Corey, they're both doing okay. Actually, better than okay. They're healing faster and getting stronger. They don't need our help. And I don't think they want it anyway. I still haven't heard from Kira. And I'm getting more and more worried about Deaton. Y/n isn't taking it so well either." Scott tapes a 'closed until further notice' sign on the front door of the clinic before he goes into the back, watching Y/n as she leans against her arms on the exam table, her phone in front of her as if staring at it will make Alan suddenly message her that he's okay. Scott stands where Y/n had before, looking at the inhaler in his hand. "I know something's coming. And all I can think about is how good am I going to be if i can't even breathe?" He sets the inhaler on the exam table.

"You sound like you're trying to apologize." Theo commented, his face reflecting in the metal surface as he stands across from Scott.

"You came back looking for an Alpha. I guess I'm sorry that you found me."

"I'm not sorry."

"You still want to be part of the pack?"

"Scott, I'm with you. For better or worse."

"Trust me. There's gonna be worse."

"I'm counting on it." Theo smiles, just a hair away from being a smirk.

...

Stiles throws his hands in slight frustration as he, Y/n, and Lydia walk around the woods yet again. "It's almost like this thing doesn't want to be found." He said.

"That's probably because it doesn't." Y/n lightly shrugged. If she had her magic, finding the Nemeton would have been pretty easy. Being a witch she was naturally drawn to the Nemeton, but after having visited it and it helping her fight against Jennifer, she had a connection with it. Or rather she used to. But now it seems like she can barely even call herself a witch anymore. Her magic has faded to the point where she can't even shift her eyes. She's practically human now.

"Maybe it knows we're late for class." Lydia mentioned as she turned around where she frowned at a tree. "Because we've been here twice."

Stiles moved around to spot the two white X's they had marked in chalk on the tree. "Crap."

"Can we talk to Parrish now?"

"Hang on. If the Nemeton's covered in bodies, shouldn't you be able to find them?" He looked to Lydia.

"Me?"

"Yes, you. That's what you do. You're the banshee, you find the bodies."

Lydia lightly rolled her eyes. "Well, the banshee is having an off day, so how about we talk to Parrish?"

"Stiles, I agree with Lydia on this one. He should know what's going on." Y/n said.

"We can't." He denied.

"Why not?" Lydia asked.

"Because one of the bodies..." Y/n glanced at Stiles as he trailed off. She was a little hopeful that he'd continue and finally tell someone other than her what happened. "One of them... One of them could be..." Stiles trailed off several times, unable to complete his sentence and admit that one of the bodies could be Donovan's. Y/n gave him a sympathetic look, knowing he's not going to go through with it.

"Could be what?" Lydia prompted.

"One of them could be a clue."

Lydia gave a quick nod with a tight lipped smile. "We're leaving now, Stiles. We're going to talk to Parrish and tell him he's the one taking the bodies." Lydia grabbed Y/n's hand, turned on her heel and marched off.

"It's always better when they know." Y/n reminded over her shoulder as she couldn't help but follow Lydia.

"Well then, he should know he owes me a Jeep." Stiles called as he followed the pair.

...

Scott rides shotgun in Theo's truck, Theo himself driving as they make their way to the hospital. Corey had suddenly gotten worse while at school, coughing up black and silver and being whisked away by an ambulance. Scott then remembered Theo had mentioned he had something to tell him. "Hey, what did you want to talk to me about?"

Theo glanced at him, seemingly getting cold feet. "It can wait."

"If something's wrong, you should tell me. We've all got to start talking to each other again."

Theo lightly shook his head. "This might not be the best place to start, Scott."

"You think I'm gonna be angry?"

"Not with me."

"Theo, you can talk to me."

Theo was silent for a moment, until he finally said, "Open the glove compartment." Scott did as told, and found a blood spattered crescent wrench. He took it into his hand to examine it closer. "It belonged to Stiles. He dropped it at the school."

"Dropped it when?"

"When he killed Donovan." Scott looked to Theo in shock. Stiles had used the wrench to hit Donovan away after the chimera had bit him by surprise, and Stiles had dropped it in the library when Donovan tackled him through a bookshelf. But Scott doesn't know that.

"What are you talking about?"

"You know he hurt his shoulder, right? You smelled the blood."

"That was the Jeep. He said the Jeep's hood fell on him."

"No, no, no, that was Donovan. He went after Stiles at the library. I only saw the end of it. And when I saw what Stiles was doing, I- I couldn't stop him." Scott was silent from the shock he was feeling. "I shouldn't- I shouldn't be telling you this. You should hear this from him-"

"Tell me." Scott insisted.

Theo looked at Scott before he continued. "I saw Donovan go down. Stiles hit him with the wrench, and then, he just- he just kept hitting him." Theo's voice started to get thick with emotion, his eyes blurring with tears. "And maybe it was because he- he threatened to kill his dad. Or maybe Stiles thought he had to keep going to defend himself, but he- he just kept- he kept hitting him."

"That's not possible." Scott spoke softly, not wanting to believe his best friend could do such a thing.

"He crushed that kid's skull. I heard it cracking and- and- and splintering. By the time I pulled Stiles off of him, half of Donovan's head was caved in. It didn't even look real. I keep telling myself that it was- it was- it was self-defense. It was self-defense, but... Scott, I'm sorry. I've never seen anything like it. And I've never seen anyone that angry. You... You should talk to Stiles. You have to talk to him. And Y/n, too."

"What does Y/n have to do with this?" Scott was confused.

"She- she knew. Stiles had told her what he- what he did. All of it. She told him not to say anything. She probably even came up with the Jeep's hood falling on him when she couldn't heal his shoulder. What he did, she- she covered it up."

...

"So, if this place is so important, how come you didn't want to show it to me before?" Jordan asked as he drove Y/n and Lydia towards the woods.

"Well, the problem is it's not easy to find." Lydia said.

"Should we put it in the GPS?"

"Not exactly."

"It's not going to let itself show up on a GPS." Y/n commented, earning a puzzled glance from the deputy.

"So, how are we going to find it?" Jordan asked as he turned the wheel. "Because I don't remember ever being anywhere near a giant tree stump."

"I think you're already starting to remember." Lydia said.

"How do you know that?"

"You just took a right turn." The girls chorused together, making Jordan glance in the rearview mirror before glancing at them again. They eventually stopped and trekked further in the woods on foot, glancing around every once and a while to see if they spotted something, anything that would point them to the Nemeton.

"Anything look familiar?" Lydia asked.

"Nothing." Jordan denied. "I'm trying, but it all looks like woods to me."

"Maybe you're thinking about it too much."

Y/n nodded in agreement. "It's something you need to feel."

"How do I do that?" Jordan wondered, glancing away for a moment before he suddenly deflected a punch from Lydia. "What was that for?"

"To get you to stop thinking." Lydia claimed as she advanced towards him, throwing another punch that was yet again deflected. Y/n smirked to herself as she realized what Lydia was doing.

"Oh, is this supposed to motivate me?" Jordan chuckled a little.

"No. It's supposed to get you to stop!" Another punch that he ducked under, "Thinking!" Another deflected a third time before she caught him with a kick to the leg. Jordan smiled a little as he raised his hands, gesturing for her to come at him.

They traded blows, Jordan mostly dodging, ducking, and deflecting her attacks, although she managed to get in a few hits. Y/n was impressed and proud of how fast Lydia picked up the self defense that he had taught her. Lydia finally threw a double punch and he managed to catch her arms, twisting them to leave her in a defensless position. "That's good, but I don't think it's really working." He joked and she huffed in slight annoyance.

"Then let's try that again." Y/n came up behind him, and in one swift movement, gripped onto his arm, making him release Lydia, swinging her legs up and locking them together around his head. She threw her upper body downwards, using the momentum to throw him down while landing on her feet.

He looked up at her from where he landed, eyes squinted from getting the wind knocked out of him. "What the hell was that?" He panted.

Y/n smirked as she looked down at him. "I've had a little more practice." Lydia grinned from beside her friend at the comment. Jordan got back on two feet, eyeing Y/n carefully now that he had a glimpse of what she could do. She gestured to him like he had to Lydia. "Don't hold back. I haven't had a good spar in a while."

Without answering Jordan took the first swing which she deflected, blocking the next one with her arm. She blocked a kick before taking a couple swings of her own, both which he dodged and ducked under. He blocked another hit and swung again. This time Y/n locked her arm with his at the elbow, keeping him still and leaving him open for a couple hits to the side. He managed to push her off before attacking again, yet she dodged his next couple hits. He went to kick her a couple times, landing one on her side before she blocked the second one, and caught his leg on the third. She elbowed his thigh before she gripped his jacket, swinging her leg to the side and knocking his out from under him. He landed on his back with a thud and held his hands up in surrender.

Y/n held her hand out to help him up and they gave each other a smile, both panting from the workout. Although his smile quickly fell as his eyes started to change, shifting to a brilliant fiery orange. He turned his head to the side, the girls mimicking the action. His eyes shifted back as he took a step closer to the circle of trees none of them had noticed before. Past the 'Y' of a tree they could see the Nemeton, and the bodies of the chimeras laying on it's roots.

Y/n and Lydia then, finally, told him why they really brought him out here, besides finding the Nemeton. They told him about what he's been doing, that he was the one really taking the bodies. When Jordan suddenly started walking away, the girls gave each other a questioning look before following him. "Where are you going?" Lydia called.

"I need to call it in." He answered. "No, I need to turn myself in."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"You guys just told me I'm the one taking the bodies. I've attacked other law enforcement officers. That's a criminal offense. I shouldn't even be near either you."

"We're not afraid of you."

"I'm afraid of me."

"Whatever's happening really only happens when there's a body." Y/n pointed out.

"Other than that you're still a pretty nice guy. And you're a pretty good deputy." Lydia added.

"I'm a very good deputy. And I'd like to stay that way. Flipping over Jeeps and attacking colleagues doesn't exactly fit with 'protect and serve'. I'm covering up the bodies of murdered teenagers."

"Well, you're not covering them up."

"Wait." Y/n called, stopping just as they got back to the car and making the other two stop as well. "Actually, he has a point."

"What?" Jordan asked, a little startled that she was agreeing with him.

"It's like what we asked the Sheriff to do with Tracy, what we've been doing since the start. It's not the bodies you're covering up. It's the supernatural."

"What's the difference?"

"Maybe you're keeping the secret safe." Lydia said, understanding what Y/n was getting at.

"It's probably part of what you do." Y/n added.

"I'm a deputy."

"You're not just a deputy, like we're not just highschool seniors."

"And you aren't one of the bad guys." Lydia denied.

"You guys just showed me that my dream was real. But you haven't heard the rest of it." He looked down for a moment, seeing the details of his dream in his mind. "Every time I carry a body to the Nemeton, I put it down and... Add to the ones that are already there."

"How many?"

"Hundreds. Hundreds of them."

Despite Y/n's and Lydia's protests Jordan still drove to the Sheriff's station and insisted that he be put in a holding cell. Y/n had sat with Lydia for a while until Stiles called her. He first went on a small rant on how worried he had been when she didn't answer her phone, only calming slightly when she apologized and assured she was fine. He then told her that there were two more chimeras dead and Hayden is getting close to being the third. Stiles insisted he was coming to get her, hanging up before she could deny him. Y/n told Lydia what was going on and excused herself from the station.

Y/n watched the rain as she waited for Stiles under an awning. She held her hand out, letting the drops coat her skin as she became a little meloncholic. Usually she would be able to feel the rain, getting a small zing of energy from the natural force, but now she can't feel anything. She wondered how long it would last, or if it was permanent. Her thoughts are soon cut off as Stiles pulled up and she quickly jogged through the deluge to get to the Jeep, Stiles pulling away almost as soon as she was sat down.

It wasn't long before he pulled up outside of the clinic where they saw Scott getting off of his bike. Y/n and Stiles swiftly hopped out of the car, both of them being soaked in a matter of moments as they met their friend. "Hey, sorry. I had trouble starting the Jeep again. That thing's barely hanging on." Stiles apologized as they stood in front of Scott. "I couldn't get in touch with Malia and Lydia is at the station." Scott didn't answer, didn't even meet their eyes as something seemed to trouble him. "Scott?" Still not saying anything, Scott pulled the blood-stained wrench from his jacket. Y/n glanced at Stiles who had practically froze at the sight of the tool. "Where'd you get that?"

"This is yours?" Scott asked instead. Stiles couldn't answer as he gently took the wrench from Scott. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was going to."

"Why didn't you tell me when it happened?"

"I couldn't." He admitted as he looked back up at Scott.

"You killed him? You killed Donovan?"

"He was going to kill my dad. Was I supposed to just let him?"

"You weren't supposed to do this. None of us are."

Stiles stopped being as sad, and instead became a little offended and defensive. "You think I had a choice?"

"There's always a choice."

"Yeah, well, I can't do what you can, Scott." Stiles' voice started to raise slightly from emotion. "I know you wouldn't have done it. You probably would've just figured something out, right?"

"I'd try."

"Yeah, because you're Scott McCall!" He yelled. "You're the True Alpha! Guess what? All of us can't be True Alphas. Some of us have to make mistakes. Some of us have to get our hands a little bloody sometimes. Some of us are human!"

"So, you had to kill him?"

"Scott, he was going to kill my dad."

"But the way that it happened..." Scott shook his head a little. "There's a point when it's... It's not self-defense anymore."

Y/n frowned at this. She had been quiet this whole time because it wasn't her place. This had to happen at some point, she knew it would, but something was wrong. Scott's reaction was harsher than it should have been. Scott wasn't judgemental, and he understands what can happen when someone's life was at stake. The way he was talking sounded like Scott thought something else had happened. "Wait, Scott. What do you think-"

"Don't, Y/n." Scott cut her off before she could try and solve what was happening. "Don't say anything. You seem to be good at that." She reeled back a bit at that. Those few words actually hurt, but what hurt worse was the look in his eyes. He saw her, saw them both, differently now. The eyes that were once warm and welcoming like a brother, were now cold and shut off like a stranger.

"Don't talk to her like that. She was just trying to help me." Stiles immediately said. Even in the midst of everything going on, he would never let anyone, not even Scott, blame her for his actions. "You don't get it. I didn't have a choice, Scott! You don't even believe me, do you?"

"I want to." He did, he really did. But it was hard to.

"Okay, all right, so... So believe me then. Scott, say you believe me." Scott couldn't meet Stiles' eyes. "Say it. Say you believe me." He quietly begged, trying to not lose his best friend.

"Stiles, we can't kill people we're trying to save."

"Say you believe me." Stiles took a step forward, gesturing with his hand that still held the wrench. Scott took a step back with wide eyes, looking almost afraid that Stiles would do to him what Scott was told he did to Donovan. Stiles noticed the look, glancing at the wrench as he lowered his hand.

"We can't kill people! Do you believe that?"

Stiles' anger was now gone, just hurt and sad and desprate to fix things. "Well, what do I do about this? What do you want me to do? Okay, just... Scott, just tell me how to fix this, all right? Please, just tell me, what do you want me to do?"

Scott continued to be silent as Stiles pleaded with him and he was silent a bit longer until he could finally bring himself to speak. "Don't worry about Malia. We'll find her. We'll get Lydia. Maybe... Maybe you should talk to your dad." Scott turned and walked away, disappearing into the clinic. Tears mixed with rain, unable to distinguish the difference as the two were left in the downpour, feeling as part of their world has just crumbled before them.

~~~
Published: 6/8/22

My heart 😭