My stomach empties itself into the toilet bowl and it doesn't exactly make my massive headache feel any better.

She did this to me.

Pulling back from the inside of the bowl, I pull my hair back and breathe deep to try and take deep breaths to keep the next part of my lunch from coming up.

This is all her fault. If she had at least tried to understand why I didn't tell her the truth about the Faraquad demon, maybe this wouldn't have happened. Maybe I wouldn't have gone out drinking and now spending my whole morning with my head in a toilet trying not to let my headache kill me.

I sit down on the cold stone floor of the bathroom.

Why would she do that to me?

Again my dinner comes back up and I throw my head over the toilet, letting my lunch force its way back into my throat and out between my lips.

How could she leave me to suffer like this?

There's a gentle knock at the door before my sister opens the bathroom door. So I wipe my mouth off and turn to look at her peaking out from the doorway.

"Hey..."

"Are you feeling any better Dawnie?"

All I can do is glare back at her for the stupid question.

"What does it look like?"

She's quiet for a second.

"Sorry... I just wanted to say... you have a visitor."

A visitor?

"Who the hell is coming to visit me? I... don't want to see any... visitors."

"Well, come out and tell her that yourself because I'm not going to do it."

Then she leaves the doorway back out into the rest of the apartment.

God, why does she have to be so difficult?

Painfully, I pull myself up from the floor, my head throbbing worse the more vertical I get. The first few steps I take have me staggering a little, so I stop and straighten myself out very little before getting a more sure footing in my walk.

Whoever the hell it is they can just turn around and go home. I'm not in a talking mood right now and there isn't anyone who could...

When I get to the door and walk through it, I look up and Buffy points me to the direction of the couch. Faith is sitting on the back of the couch, nervously playing with the zipper of her jacket at the hem.

"I'll give you two some time."

Buffy goes over to the front door, picks up her keys and a stake, then leaves.

What the hell is she doing here?

The woman I love looks up at me and attempts to smile.

How can she even pretend like she's happy to see me?

"Hey..."

Why is she here?

"What do you want?"

Her attempt to look happy to see me immediately goes away and she frowns, looking down at the floor again.

"Your... your sister called, said you disappeared from your bedroom last night. So I took a couple of the slayers out looking for you. We spent most of the night searching for you. But then B called and said she found you passed out against the front door. I had to come by and see if you were all right."

She's trying to act like she cares about me now?

"I'm fine..."

She looks up at me again and I can tell she doesn't believe me.

"You don't look fine."

What does it matter to her?

"Well then you need to get glasses, because I'm fine."

Faith stands up, taking a step or two forward.

"Did you go out drinking or something? You kinda look a little hung over."

What the hell is she trying to do?

"Does it matter? I mean, do you really care?"

A hurt look flashes in her eyes and for some reason I feel really good about it, then just a little bit of anger eventually creeps onto her face.

"What do you mean DK? Of course I care... you're my girl."

Her girl?

"Yeah, sure... I'm your girl you broke up with."

The pained look on her face gives me an extra good feeling.

"Dawn, I didn't... you know that when I said we needed some space from each other, I didn't mean the kind that meant we were broken up. I told you that."

Whatever...

"And the difference is?"

She walks up to me and I take a step back but then she stops so I don't go any further.

"Babe... I love you."

Her hand touches my cheek. It feels so good on my skin that I close my eyes and enjoy the warmth.

"You know that..."

God she feels so good.

As close as we are, I can't help but lean forward into her. But before I can kiss her, she pulls back. We look into each other's eyes and something about the hurt look makes me wanna punch her.

"What's wrong?"

"Dawn... I..."

She lets go and steps back.

"I came by to make sure you were okay."

"But..."

When I try and get closer she backs off.

"I thought..."

"I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression by coming here DK, I didn't want to do that to you. But I had to know that you were okay."

That's all?

"So... you just... came to see if I was okay and now you're just gonna walk away?"

"I have to..."

"Why?"

"Because I love you..."

Why does she keep saying that?

"You keep saying that. You keep saying that you love me and then you leave me."

She stops and turns to me so I keep talking.

"I, I don't understand how you can do both."

"It's... complicated Dawn."

"Then, explain it to me."

All I get from her is silence.

"I said I was sorry for not telling you about the demon wanting The Key. I said it 4 days ago and you still can't forgive me for it. Why can't you just let it go and forgive me?"

"Because it's not about forgiving you anymore..."

It's not? But... then...

"Why aren't we together? Why... why did you pull away when I tried to kiss you?"

Faith takes a deep breath and doesn't look at me when she responds.

"Dawn... I get why you didn't tell me about the demon's motive, I do. You wanted things to go back to normal."

"Yes..."

She understands. She really understands. I knew she would sooner or later. She always understands me.

"You wanted our lives to go back to normal."

She understands and she forgives me. Oh god, I wasn't sure that this would ever really happen.

"Yes..."

"But Dawn... I'm not normal."

What?

"My life isn't normal. It's never been normal and never will be. Because I'm a slayer..."

What the hell kind of explanation is that?

"I know that."

Finally she manages to look back at me.

"Do you? Do you really Dawn?"

"Of course I do."

"Even though you JUST said that you wanted life to be normal?"

"I..."

I don't know how to answer that.

"A normal life is what you want, isn't it Dawn?"

There's a horrible feeling in my stomach that has nothing to do with being hung over.

"You'd like to have a life without demons and vampires and all the things that I deal with every day, wouldn't you?"

"N... no..."

"Yes, you do Dawn. That's why you wanted to just forget about the demon coming after you. So that everything will go back to normal and we could have our normal life again."

Why is she saying this? It's... it's not true.

"I just... wanted us to be together without having to worry about some terrible demon that's coming to kill us all. Why is that wrong?"

"It's not wrong... it's just not... normal."

She keeps talking about being normal like it's important or something.

"So? So what? I... my life isn't normal Faith."

The hurt in her eyes and on her face keeps getting worse with every second that goes by the more I feel like I wanna cry.

"And why is that exactly Dawn? Why don't you have a normal life like everyone else? I've been thinking about it for a few days now and I can't really figure it out. You're not a slayer, or a witch. You weren't destined to fight evil and die a brutal death protecting the world. What the hell are you doing researching and fighting demons?"

I don't know what I'm supposed to say, partly because she's right and partly because I kinda hate her for saying it.

"I... I don't... I'm not..."

Rather than trying to say nothing, I just shut up.

"Honestly DK, tell me. Because I've spent the past few days wondering that and the only reason I can come up with... is me."

What?

"You could have any life you wanted. Be anything you wanted to. But instead you're studying to be a Watcher so you can save the world."

She pauses for a second and I think I'm gonna die if she says anything else.

"That never bothered me before because I knew I'd do anything I could to keep you safe, but with everything that's happened lately, it's starting to bug the hell out of me."

I can't let her keep talking.

"So then... stop thinking about it. Just... stop and not worry about it."

Faith stares at me for a second before she keeps going.

"I... can't, Dawn. As much as I want to because I wanna be with you so badly, I can't. I love you too much not to."

What?

"That doesn't make any SENSE, Faith."

She sighs heavily.

"I know... but it's how I feel."

We look at each other for a while and I don't know what to do or say.

"I'm sorry DK. I want us to be together. Really I do. But I can't seem to give myself a reason it'll work out."

"I... I love you. And you love me... don't you?"

She gets a little offended by the question.

"Of course I do... you know I do."

"Then isn't that enough?"

Again neither of us says anything for a while.

"I want it to be Dawn but it's not. At least, not right now, I'm sorry. But... please, no matter what problems we're having right now... don't go trying to drown it all in a mountain of beer. You're too good for that."

All I can do is look away from her as the stomach problems I'm having get worse.

"You're probably gonna hate me for what I've said, but I want you to know that I'm still hoping we can figure out how to be together and put all this behind us."

I scoff at her for that.

Yeah, because it really sounds that way from the way she's talking.

"Don't give up on us Dawn, I haven't."

Then she starts heading for the door.

"I'm... I'm gonna go now. All right?"

Whatever...

"Yeah that's probably the best thing to do right now."

She grabs the doorknob when she reaches the door, turning back to me for just a second.

"I love you DK."

Instead of responding, I just avoid looking at her while my eyes start welling up with tears. When she doesn't get the response she was looking for, she opens the door and leaves. The door clicks shut and I feel everything fall apart inside me when my knees buckle under me, sending me straight to the floor of the main room.

I don't understand. How could she do this to me? Oh god...

My tears start coming and they won't stop, not that I would want them to.