In my life I could never find myself able to write in a diary, I would open the book to write and find myself at a loss of what to write.
I have never been able to really describe my emotions all that well, the only one I can truly describe is happiness. It's a warm feeling that melts away my problems, like a soft flame burning away in a fireplace and radiating a soft warmth with light.
I'm much better at writing something like this or talking about my emotions though I don't like feeling vulnerable, my upbringing never nurtured vulnerableness if anything it was looked down on.
I have always felt as if I was raised like a boy, told to suck up my emotions and just work through it. That there is no sense in crying or showing emotions. I have never been encouraged to do anything girl like, Even now my parents find it odd that I'm taking interest in girly things. Maybe Dad will accept it eventually, the fact that I'm allowed to take interests in inherently girly things.
Maybe one day I'll be able to fully let myself go in front of someone and be fully vulnerable, It is only human after all.