Jungkook stared at the mirror as tears streamed down his cheeks.

Today was a wonderful day.

Today was the day of his birth, the day he came into existence.

Jungkook was disgusted with himself. He wished he was never born. He wished he could kill himself and never have to seen another soul in this cruel, horrible world.

Jungkook ripped open the cupboard above the kitchen sink next to the mirror and his hand gripped the blade inside the cupboard.

He thought back to himself, his family, his fans and most importantly - his band mates.

They were just like his second family, supportive, loving and caring.

The thing that hurt the most was hurting them and Jungkook hated himself for that. He hated how he worried his band members, he hated how he was dragging them down because of his so called depression.

Jungkook knew he had depression, there was no way around that.

How did he get this depression?

It all started a few months, maybe a year back when Jungkook had posted on twitter a selfie of himself in the mirror. He was scrolling through all the comments but frowned when all he saw was comments about how fat he was and how he was the heaviest member in BTS.

Some comments said he was ugly, some comments said he was fat and others went as far as to tell Jungkook to kill himself.

Of course at first Jungkook ignored the comments, reading all of the positive and nice ones from the actual ARMY, not the antis.

(Jungkook has a translator to read comments)

But the more Jungkook kept reading comments, whether it was on Twitter, YouTube or any other social media, the more Jungkook began to feel worthless.

His bandmates, the other members knew about what was happening, well they didn't know how it started.

Jimin had once walked into Jungkook cutting himself, that day Jungkook wasn't the one to bandage his own cuts, Jin did.

That night Jungkook slept in the same bed as Jimin, Jimin sobbing and telling Jungkook how sorry he was for not noticing. Both boys cried their hearts out.

Jungkook promised his members to get better, but behind their backs Jungkook would starve himself and continue to cut himself.

The members would notice sometimes, but hardly ever with their busy schedules. They were always focused on something else, and Jungkook appreciated that for once.

Jungkook gripped the blade in his hands tightly, the blade digging into his fingers and already drops of blood began to fall.

His eyes flashed back to when he thought he was finally skinny enough, being 120 pounds. His members asked him what was wrong seeing him skinnier than ever before, Jungkook would just lie and say that he hadn't been eating properly with their schedule.

Once Jungkook had gained the courage to post a picture of him, he showed off his skinny body hoping that people would be satisfied.

He saw fans commenting on how skinny he was and Jungkook smiled.

But then came the comments that said he was still fat and ugly and worthless.

Jungkook cried himself to sleep that night, well he did almost every night after that.

A few members noticed he wasn't eating properly, so they'd make sure to have a few meals around him.

Jungkook felt like throwing them up, but for the sake of his best friends he tried his best not to. Sometimes he would throw up and other times he wouldn't.

He was slowly gaining weight again and he felt horrible again.

Jungkook snapped out of his daze. He needed to stop thinking about the past.

Jungkook looked down at his arms, covered in bracelets around his wrists to hide the scars.

Jungkook twirled the razor around in his hand, he took the sharp blade and dug into his forearm, he let out a gasp as blood trickled down his arm.

He learned to love the colour of blood.

The small slit on his arm looked beautiful to Jungkook.

Every time Jungkook hurt himself, he knew he hurt his hyungs as well. Therefore Jungkook made sure to only make one cut a day.

Jungkook tossed the slightly bloody razor aside and leaned against the wall, slowly sliding down.

He gripped his forearm, and his hand covered where the cut was.

Already having bleeding fingers, the cut added more blood onto his hand.

Jungkook smiled.

His birthday, what a truly wonderful day.

Jungkook slowly started to drift off to sleep. He felt tired, he probably was tired but he decided not to acknowledge it.

"Jungkookie?" Jungkook snapped opened his eyes right before he could fall asleep.

He heard a knock on the door and the doorknob twisted.

"Kookie, are you in there?" Taehyung asked.

"Y-yes." Jungkook replied weakly.

"I'll be out in a second." Jungkook muttered quickly standing up to gather bandages and clean up the blood.

"Kookie, you're not.. c-cutting again are you?" Taehyung asked in a small voice, Jungkook could hear the hurt in his voice.

Jungkook had done it again.

He had hurt his hyung.

Again.

"N-no." Jungkook sighed, he knew it wasn't enough. Taehyung already knew he was lying.

"K-kookie, please open the door." Taehyung said, the doorknob twisted and turned once more.

Jungkook frowned, he felt like crying. He unlocked the door and the door slammed open with Taehyung engulfing Jungkook into a huge hug.

"O-oh, Jungkookie!" Taehyung sniffled. "Please don't ever do that to yourself ever again."

"T-tae.." Jungkook murmured, refusing to hug his hyung back. He just couldn't, after hurting him again and again.

"HYUNGS!" Taehyung screamed, making Jungkook wince at at the sudden scream.

Jungkook could hear footsteps coming near, as his hyungs slowly started to pile into the bathroom.

"What's going on?" Namjoon asked, all he could see was the back of Taehyung.

"Oh- Kookie?!" Instantly Jungkook was attacked by another hug from Jimin.

Instantly one by one the members started to realize what was going on, all of them group hugging one another while Jin grabbed the bandages, and picked up the blade in the sink.

"Jungkookie, come here please." Jin said softly.

Jungkook obeyed and Jin started to bandage up his small cut he had, and his bloody fingers.

As Jin was doing whatever he needed, Jimin spoke up.

"Kookie.. we made something for you, for your birthday."

Jungkook turned to face the rest of his hyungs who gave him soft smiles with a tint of sadness behind those glossy eyes.

"Oh." Jungkook replied, not sure as of what to say.

"We hope you like it." Hoseok smiles at Jungkook, Jungkook gave him a soft smile back.

Once Jin finished bandaging Jungkook up, the boys led him into the living room.

They sat him down on the couch and Jungkook seemed really confused.

"What did you make?" Jungkook asked quietly.

Yoongi hushed him, saying something along the lines of it's about to start.

"Focus on the television." Jin said.

Jungkook turned towards the TV.

The black screen soon turned to a video.

His hyungs had made him a video...?

Jungkook froze. The video started to play and there Jungkook was, before their debut. He was so young back then.

"W-what is this?" Jungkook asked.

Namjoon lightly hit him telling him to be quiet and just watch.

Jungkook frowned but he continued to watch.

It was him.. throughout the years of being in BTS.. from the day he started to where he was now.

Jungkook couldn't stop the tears from falling, and he was soon crying his heart out.

His love for his hyungs, the ones who kept him going through all of his struggles, even when he was depressed and lonely. They were always there for him.

How could he have been so foolish not to understand that, to continue to hurt himself when he shouldn't care what others think. When he had people who did care and support him.

"K-kookie, don't cry." Taehyung sat down next to him hugging him. Jimin came over to the other side and soon the rest of them came tackling him into hugs.

"It's tears of h-happiness." Jungkook replied.

The video continued on, and when Jungkook thought it was over - the video continued.

The video was his fans, the ARMY telling him how much they loved him, and how they thought he wasn't fat and that he was beautiful. How no matter what they will support him.

The tears continued to fall.

The next clip was the lovely staff that Jungkook had the chance to work with, telling him the same thing, and they were crying.

Jungkook regretted all of his terrible decisions.

Then came his friends, and his family.

And last but not least, BTS.

Jungkook couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm so sorry - I can't believe I ever did that! I was so stupid to believe those antis, I love you guys so much. You're the best friends no one could ever have. I love you guys so much."

Jungkook was sobbing hugging his hyungs who whispered comforting things and replying to his statement.

"Jungkook, we love you too. Don't ever THINK that you are worthless or unloved." Jin muttered.

"You are a valuable member of BTS, and our little brother. We love you so much Jungkook." Namjoon replied.

"Kookie, it hurts me so much to see you hurt. Please stop hurting yourself." Jimin whispered.

Jungkook sniffled, as the video finally ended with BTS saying,

"Happy birthday Jungkook. We love you."

-=+=-

okay this is actually terrible, what did i just write omg i hate myself

bUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUNGKOOK!! omg he's so old now, he's not a teenager anymore..

so um yea okay idk what else to say but happy birthday to kookie :)

legit gonna post this at midnight my time which is 3pm in South Korea so ayeee