We've been walking for ages now, except for one time when we stopped for water. I think Dad's leading us back to the prison, but he hasn't said much since we started walking. He's just been doing a lot of ignoring Merle. 'Cause Merle decided to follow us, even though he knows he ain't gonna be welcome at the prison.

I think we're getting pretty close to the prison now. We've gotta be. This forest can't be that big, can it?

"Dad, how much-?" My question is interrupted by the sound of gunshots ringing out from ahead of us.

Dad freezes for a moment, locking eyes with Momma, and then with Merle. "Damnit," he mutters.

"That's the Governor, alright," Merle says.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. That means that the Governor is at the prison. And everyone else is at the prison. So that means that they're all being attacked and they don't got us to help them. Even though I know I ain't much help, I know my parents are. And Merle can be helpful sometimes when he ain't being all stupid and everything. No offense, Uncle Merle.

I watch Dad pull his crossbow off of his shoulders, and then he grabs my wrist and looks me right in the eyes. He's got a serious you better listen to me type look on his face, which is becoming more and more frequent lately because we're always in some sort of trouble lately. Dad's about to speak, and then he eyes his hand, holding tight around my wrist, and he moves his grip from my wrist to my hand. "You stay with me or your mom at all times 'till either she or I say so. Don't try and be all brave this time. You don't got the energy for it. Understand me?" He presses his thumb gently against my knuckles, I think to emphasize his words.

"'Kay," I say with a nod.

He lets go of my hand and we all go rushing toward the prison. Momma steals Merle's gun from his waistband, and we all ignore him when he starts complaining about it. He grabs himself some metal rod thingy from the ground when we get close enough to the prison to see all the chaos, so then he's at least got some sort of weapon.

When we were in the woods, I imagined going home to the prison would feel like getting home after a really long day of school, and you get to just sit on the couch and watch My Little Pony or something. This is not like that. It ain't peaceful at all.

There are walkers all over the yard, cars that I don't even recognize driving around, and gunshots going off left and right. I can see the sword lady running around slicing walker's heads off, and Glenn's driving a truck through the yard but I don't know where he's going, and Rick is, for some reason, outside the fence fighting off too many walkers at once.

Rick's got three or four walkers pinning him against the fence, snapping their jaws, when Dad loads a bolt into his crossbow and shoots it through one of the walker's heads. Then Momma shoots another one of the walkers and Merle goes running in with his metal rod like some sort of crazy person, screaming at nothing and jabbing walkers through their temples.

Together, Rick and Merle take down all the walkers swarming them, and now I see that Glenn was getting Hershel out of the yard, so they're doing that, and Dad gives Rick a firm nod that looks like it means a thousand things at once. 

I hook my finger through one of Dad's belt loops, and me, him, and Momma all start heading towards the fence, too. Mom and Dad take out all sorts of walkers as we go. They're really good at acting all calm during these situations. They probably look like action heroes, while I'm hiding behind them shaking and shrieking like I've got ants crawling all over me or something. 

Now the only thing separating me from everyone else in the prison is the big, old yard swarming with stinky, old walkers, which totally stinks.

The walk through the yard is so scary it almost feels like it's taking longer than all that walking we in the forest we did. It's really just because I'm very scared and even more tired. When we finally get back to the prison, I want to melt myself into the floor so I know I can stay here forever. But that doesn't work when I close my eyes and try, so I just lean against my dad and try to avoid everyone's eyes.

They're all kind of staring at me right now. And at Merle, and at my momma. When we start going in toward the cells with everybody else, Rick stops Merle. Turns out Merle ain't allowed by the cells. By everybody else. I sort of like that rule because I know he deserves it, but I also feel really kind of bad for him, being in there all by himself. Probably feels like an animal at the zoo. I always feel bad for animals at the zoo.

I look away from Merle and towards everyone else. Maggie's smiling at me, so I smile back at her and wave a little bit. "I'm so glad you're back, June," she tells me.

"Yeah, me too," Carl says. I turn toward his voice and see him leaning against the wall next to Michonne. "It would have sucked bein' the only kid here anymore," he tells me.

"Yeah," I murmur, pressing the toe of my shoe against the ground.

Dad squeezes my shoulder before leaving my side to go up the stares. I don't wanna be standing over here all by myself because that makes my face burn, so I go over to stand next to Momma. Now all the attention can be shifted onto her.

"Who're you with, June?" Beth asks with that soft smile she's usually got on her face.

"My mom," I answer, leaning against Momma's side.

Mom gives them all a kind smile. "I'm Birdie," she introduces herself. Then she leans down a little to look at my face. "You wanna introduce me to all your friends?"

I don't like doing that because it makes me feel even more like everyone's staring at me, but now Momma's said it front of everyone, so if I say no, it'll be weird. So I guess I have to now. I point at Carl first, and then go down the line. "That's Carl, and that's Michonne, I'm pretty sure, and you know Glenn and Maggie already, and also you know Rick already, and that's Hershel, and that's Carol and Beth."

Feels like that lists getting a lot shorter than it used to be.

"June," Dad calls out from up above me. I look up and see him leaning over the railing. "C'mere for a sec."

That's a great excuse to get away from everyone staring at me, so I go on up the stairs, even though my legs feel a little bit like jelly. When I get to the top, I sit on the top step for a second to catch my breath, and then I continue on to where Dad is, outside my cell.

When I look at him, Dad gestures inside the cell. There's a pile a nicely folded clothes on my bed. Somebody must've cleaned my clothes for me when I was gone. That's real nice of them. "Go on to the last cell up here and put on some clean clothes. I'm gonna go get you somethin' to eat," Dad tells me.

I nod and take some of the clean clothes with me down to the last cell. The cells don't really have doors. I bet we could put up, like, curtains or something instead of doors, but we don't got that set up yet, so the last cell will have to do. No one goes down there, usually. Especially right now becaus e they're all too busy talking to each other to do anything else.

So I change into some clean clothes and try to smooth out my hair a little bit, even though I don't have a hairbrush right now. When I'm done, I bring my dirty clothes back to my cell and put them in a separate pile on the floor, so I'll know which are dirty and which are clean.

By the time I'm done with all that, Dad's back with not only a can of Spaghettio's and a bottle of water, but also with Momma. Dad places the can and the water by his feet, and he's standing at the railing, so I sit down next to him and let my feet dangle off the edge. Momma stands on the other side of me.

Everyone's arguing about something, now, but I try to keep my focus on my food. I twirl my spoon around in the can of circle-noodles.

"We're not leavin'," Rick says in an irritated voice. Don't know who got him all riled up. Probably Merle.

"We can't stay here," Hershel says from where's he's sitting at the bottom of the stairs.

I wish everyone wasn't arguing all the time and I wish that Spaghettio's tasted a little bit better than they do. I also wish that I couldn't feel my mom watching me and my dad glancing at me every couple of seconds. What am I gonna do from up here? Dump my Spaghettio's all over Glenn's head? I don't really got anywhere to throw 'em away right now without anyone noticing.

"What if there's another sniper? A wood pallet won't stop one of those rounds," Maggie says, her tone tense. A sniper? There was a whole sniper here? Those are like the guys you see in movies who shoot people from really far away.

Beth huffs and agrees with Maggie. "We can't even go outside."

"Not in the daylight," Carol adds.

"Rick says we're not running, we're not running," Glenn says in a very loud voice.

"No," Uncle Merle interjects. He's got his arms through the gates, just begging for attention. He loves attention and that's why he's gotta insert himself into every conversation. Especially the ones he obviously ain't wanted in. "Better to live like rats," he says.

"You got a better idea?" Rick asks him.

"Yeah, we should have slid out a' here last night and lived to fight another day. But we lost that window, didn't we?" Merle asks. Of course he thinks we should have left straight after we escaped Woodbury. He can't even understand how important it is for us to come back here. Because we could be safe her, and we got people we love here, and we got food and clothes here. "I'm sure he's got scouts on every road outta' this place by now."

Dad scoffs, shaking his head. "We ain't scared a' that prick," he says.

Well, I'm scared of that prick, to be honest. But I still ain't going anywhere my dad ain't going.

"Y'all should be," Merle says.

I feel Dad's boot nudge my knee, and if he wasn't looking at me, I'd roll my eyes, but he is looking at me, so I just look up at him. He nods his head at the can of Spaghettio's with raised eyebrows. I huff and take a bite. I wish it tasted better.

Merle's still leaning against the bars that keep him separated from everybody else. He's looking a bit less snarky now and a bit more concerned. "That truck through the fence thing? That's just him ringin' the doorbell. We might have some thick walls to hide behind, but he's got the guns and the numbers. And if he takes the high ground around this place, shoot, he could just starve us out if he wanted to."

Maggie's doing some sort of anxious, fidgety thing with her hands, look real nervous. "Let's put him in the other cell block," she suggests.

"No. He's got a point," Dad says. I agree, kind of, even though I want to agree with Maggie.

But Maggie ain't just worried about Merle's point. She's mad at him for being him. For doing what he did. She turns to him. "This is all you! You started this!" she shouts at him.

"What's the difference whose fault it is?" Beth spits out. And, well, she's got a mighty good point there. No matter who started it, we're still stuck in this mess and we've gotta find a way out of it. "What do we do?" she asks everyone.

"I said we should leave. Now Axel's dead," Hershel says. Axel is one of the prisoner guys, I'm pretty sure. I don't know him, but it makes me sad that he's dead because it makes Hershel sad that he's dead. "We can't just sit here," Hershel insists.

For a second, Rick stares at him. But then Rick just starts walking away.

That makes Hershel really, super mad. He gets up off of the stairs and his face is red. "Get back here!" he yells at Rick as loud as he can.

I've never ever heard Hershel sound like that before, I don't think. It makes my stomach feel weird and achey. Feels like he's screaming at me, even though I know he ain't. I don't think he would ever scream at me like that. If I was Rick right now, I'd be crying, I think.

Rick, though, doesn't cry. He just stops his walking and stairs at the ground. Hershel goes over to him and everyone else is a little too nervous to say a single thing.

"You're slipping, Rick," Hershel says. Rick stays frozen. "We've all seen it. We understand why. But now is not the time. You once said this isn't a democracy." Rick finally moves, turning his head to stare at Hershel instead of the floor. "Now you have to own up to that," Hershel tells him. "I put my family's life in your hands. So get your head clear and do something."

Still, Rick doesn't say a word. He turns again and walks away.

I look up at Dad. I don't know why. Maybe I just think he's going to do or say something, or tell me what to do. Because I feel like it's urgent, but there's nothing for me to do urgently. It's a weird feeling, feeling like I need to do something but having nothing to do.

When Dad catches me looking at him, he nods his head at the Spaghettio's again. I let out a huff that is sort of like a groan, and Dad lets out his own huff that is sort of like a sigh. "C'mon," he murmurs, turning and going into my cell.

I pick up my Spaghettio's and water bottle and follow him inside, and Momma does, too. I put the Spaghettio's on the little desk in the corner and sit down on my bed. "This is my cell," I tell her. Maybe someday, if we actually get to stay here, my cell will be pretty. "Dad doesn't have a cell. He likes to sleep at the top of the stairs because he's a little bit weird."

"Don't I know it," Momma says with a little laugh.

Dad, who's leaning against the wall next to my desk, rolls his eyes. But he doesn't argue.

"Not gonna defend yourself?" Momma asks him, raising her eyebrows in a teasing kind of way.

"Ain't important," Dad says with a shrug. That's not very fun of him. "June," Dad says, looking right at me. He glances at the Spaghettio's. That's not very fun of him, either. "You need to eat."

"I did. You saw me," I tell him.

"I saw you take two bites. Two bites ain't enough, Juni," he tells me right back.

Mom's got this look on her face that makes me feel like a sad puppy dog. She turns to look at Daddy. "She doesn't like it, Daryl. Isn't there anything she could have?" she asks him.

Dad looks irritated at that. "No, Birdie, there ain't. This is what we've got," he tells her.

Momma sighs and purses her lips, looking at the floor. She doesn't like it when he talks to her in that tone of voice. I remember her getting mad about it when I was little. She doesn't argue with him about it now, though. She pushes it to the back of her mind because right now I'm the big problem.

After they stare at each other and talk without saying anything for a few seconds, Mom sits down next to me and Dad comes over and crouches in front of me.

"You heard what they're arguin' about down there. You know what's goin' on. I'm not gonna act like you don't," Dad tells me, giving me that serious look. I tuck my hair behind my ears, trying to pretend he ain't talking to me at all, but I know he is. "That dick-bag and-"

"That jerk-face," I correct because I don't like it when he swears at me, even if it's not insulting me. He swears when he's angry and annoyed the most, and I don't like him being angry and annoyed to me.

"That... jerk-face, whatever," he starts again, "is comin' here. And it's dangerous, Juni. You could get hurt. And the last thing we need when he comes is you passin' out or somethin' because you didn't eat enough. I wanna keep you safe, and you not eatin' enough makes that a lot harder."

"I know. I'm gonna eat it," I tell him, even though I wasn't planning on eating all of it. He's a good convincer.

Dad gets up and hands me the can of Spaghettio's. "I wish they were Fruit Loops," I tell both Mom and Dad.

Mom smiles. "Wouldn't that be great?" she agrees with a soft laugh. "Too bad all the good food goes bad so quickly."

"Yeah," I murmur, scooping up a spoonful of Spaghettio's. When I close my eyes and pretend they're Fruit Loops, they taste like the softest, most tomato-y-est Fruit Loops in the world.

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Everyone thank @Lux798 for giving me the motivation to write this chapter 🫶