Jumoke

THE GRANDFATHER CLOCK in the living room chimed, it was time for the children's Henry Danger show. 

Quickly switching the channel from E! to Nickelodeon, I waited patiently for them to trudge in. And almost immediately Ada stepped in with her brother in tow, both of them wearing matching jean shorts and white tank tops. If I didn't know just how much she loved this show, I would have thought she had an internal alarm that rang whenever it was 7 pm.

Weekends were the only days I allowed them to pick their choice of TV station which always varied from Nickelodeon to Disney channel, Cartoon network to Boomerang, or to sleep later than their 10 o'clock curfew. It was my way of pacifying them for the absence of their father, it didn't matter how much time I spent with them or the number of goodies I promised, sometimes all they needed was a father figure.

"Mummy!!!" Chime hollered as soon as he noticed me sprawled on the sofa, rushing into my outstretched arms so I could spin him around and I did, twice.

"Again," his lips were puckered as he looked up to me in glee while my left hand was pressed against my chest which rose and fell gently.

"No, mummy is tired." Ada chose that moment to pull him by his little hands, offering me a sympathetic smile before placing him on her laps where she rocked him to silence.

The theme song from the TV played loudly, swiftly grabbing their attention and I slipped into the kitchen to make popcorn for them. Returning shortly with a bowl of popcorn and a carton of yoghurt in hand, I dragged the coffee table closer to Ada so she could have easier access to feed herself and her brother.

Five minutes into the program, I glided into the unoccupied guest bedroom adjoining the parlour. The business card felt warm against my touch and I reiterated all the pros and cons of making this call; without being told, I knew this call would change the state of things, provide me with a friend, maybe a lover too amongst other things.

My family and I barely saw eye-to-eye, especially my mother. Every passing second until the delivery of Ada was spent on vile thoughts and contorted images of her, how easy it was for her to sell her daughter to the highest bidder in the name of marriage. I knew they got monthly paychecks from Emeka, I just wasn't aware of the amount but it was enough for them to switch schools from public to private, purchase more befitting outfits and to buy a small car that my brother used in driving them around.

"Hey, Kunle! It's me," I spoke into the phone when the person on the other end finally picked.

"Jumoke?" I half expected him to recognise my voice but I was still shocked, my breath caught in my lips, the words got stuck in my throat and I nodded vigorously, forgetting that he couldn't see me.

"Y-yes," I finally managed to push the words out, switching the phone to my other hand. I placed the call on speaker, plopping onto the bed to relax my trembling limbs.

". . . yes, that's fine by me," we were currently talking about meeting up, to play catchup as he said but his voice hinted at much more and I was willing to dive into the waters of recklessness with him, perhaps rekindle old flames.

I wanted us to meet during a weekday when the children were in school to avoid Ada running her mouth to her father, if I didn't know better, I would have thought she was getting paid to divulge my daily activities to him. Even if he didn't ask, she was willing to volunteer the information, I had long learnt it was something for them to bond over and I never complained anymore.

A shriek from the parlour had me ending the call abruptly with a promise to call back later and my eyes widened when I caught a glimpse of Chime with Ada's toe in his lips.

These children would be the death of me.

**********

Standing naked in front of the full-length mirror in the bathroom, I eyed my body: there were stretch marks on my stomach, inner thighs, and buttocks. My breasts were heavy and the nipples were sensitive to touch, my appearance repulsed me as much as it did Emeka, I was sure of that. I looked just like he did on our wedding night but with less body fat.

I wouldn't admit it to anyone but myself that the only reason I was carrying a baby number three was because I seduced my husband. Emeka and I were more like roommates than couples, he was still caring but he never touched me anymore. At first, I was the one denying him of sex which he never minded because he understood I was angry at myself and the world, then the complaints which progressed to pleas started until he couldn't be bothered to spare me a glance.

His sudden weight loss made me grow self-conscious coupled with Kunle's numerous remarks about my weight which was toned down when he realized I was pregnant. I was only 29 but my body looked like that of an older woman; my consolation was in my face which was bare, smooth and chubby, thanks to numerous spa visits and skincare routines.

Lathering myself in body cream, I scanned the closet for an outfit becoming of a pregnant woman with my body size. The only outfits I found were a pair of baggy shorts and one of Emeka's old T-shirts which hugged my belly.

A pair of running shoes were the next item needed to complete my ensemble and I gladly reached for the pair of Nike's laceless shoes. Sometimes, it could be difficult putting on shoes with a bump as big as mine but these Nike's saved me from some of that stress. One of the benefits of being married to a man of affluence like my husband was that I got the best of comfort.

There were so many things I wanted to do and it took the reappearance of Kunle in my life to blow the whistle for my wakeup call. Peering at the to-do list I had made on my return from one of my dates with Kunle, I felt a burst of energy that I hoped would take me through the 10 minutes' walk I intended to embark on.

It was the only thing I could do until the delivery of my baby and the blue sticky paper glued to the headboard helped to keep me on track.

*Learn to drive.
*Lose weight.
*Get new clothes.
*Get a job/ Learn a trade/ Open a store.
*Make friends.

Stepping out of the master's bedroom, I gave myself a mental pat, already headed off in the direction of my babies' room. A peek into their room showed they wouldn't be up for another one hour. And so, I took the first step out of the big, black gates, I was finally ready to do something for myself.

**********

"Excuse me, ma'am?" A voice broke me from my trance; I whipped my head so fast, it made me dizzy. I was staring into the brown eyes of a handsome, young man in his early twenties; he was dressed as I was but in a more fitted, athletic gear.

"Are you alright?" His voice was raspy, a soothing balm to my ringing ears; sweat trickled from his forehead onto the tarred road, his chest heaving.

I simply nodded, five minutes into my walk and I was already tired, thankfully there was a boulder for me to sit on until I regained my strength.

"You are heavily pregnant, I don't think you should be out on your own," his voice was filled with concern, his hands akimbo as he stared down at me.

Laughing humourlessly at his statement, I watched through squinted eyes as he shook his head in obvious disapproval of my action. The initial fear from being alone on the estate's lone road with a stranger quickly dissipated, I was oddly comforted by his presence.

"I'm fine," I told him as I slowly stood up, shushing him with the other hand that was free of my water bottle.

"I don't feel comfortable leaving you out here on your own," I threw a sneer in his direction and he raised both hands in defense.

After a few seconds back and forth, I grudgingly allowed him to walk me back to the house. He brushed off my thanks with a promise to see me next time, only turning to leave when I stomped into the compound of my six-bedroom duplex.

It continued this way for the next few days until I stopped taking a walk.