You know these creepy houses, that every city has? Those ones, which are always scaring little cities? Those, which your mom always told you not to come near? That's my house. 

My name's Gwen Ingrid. I live in a big, victorian era, gothic house. And I hate this fact! Not becouse I don't think it's cool. I think it's miraculous. The thing is that I am not. I'm the only family member that is not a portentous creature, a demon, a being endowed with power, a VAMIPRE. Yes - my whole family are blood-suckers, exept me - of coure. Even though I AM the one that would like to be it the most. Many of my cousins are complainig for their miracle. I would never! I'd love to be one! I dreamed about it, even before I knew my family is them. You know how disapointing it felt, when I figuerd out I am the missfit in my family. I felt like nothing makes sense anymore. Like my life's empty. And I was probably 3 than? Maybe that's why I'm sad all the time. Even though 16 years flew away, I'm still over dramatizing (as my mum says). I still can't deal with the fact, that I'm not one of them.

- Gwen! - my mum yells form the kitchen. - Wake up!

It's probaly 8am, but I feel like it's 4am. Probalby becouse when it was actually 4am, I was texting my beloved girlfriend Courtney Barlow. She's one of the two people that know about my famlily's secret. She's so understanding. We had our highs and lows during the Total Drama era. When I was in the show, I hated it. I felt completly judged and sad. Sometimes of course. Other time i felt splended. But now when i think about it, that it was totally worth it. Sometimes I even miss it. But only sometimes, and nobody knows abot it. Even Courtney. But anyways, the other person, that knows about my family is my best friend LeShawna Olongala. We were friends since the beginig of 1st sezon. She was always by my side. She gets me. She was the first one I came out to. She was so nice understanding and caring.

-Coming - I yell back.

I live on the first floor. My house has 3 floors orginaly, but when you're part of my fam you see, that there are thousnds of them! It's of course becouse my family can levitate. The farest I got is to the 200th floor, but I'm trying to beat thet score every day. The nearest kitchens are on the first and third floor. My mom's ofc at the third floor. Nobody, exept m, actually uses the first floor. So I can say that it's only mine. 

I climb slowly to the third floor. I feel the smell of pork - as always. I am the one who eats anything other then blood, and my fam's favourite blood type is pig blood. So analogically I need to eat pig meat most of the time. I mean, most of the time when I eat with my family. Otherwise I cook some stuff for myself.

-How's my little sunny-bunny? - my mom asks. She always calles me that. Maybe it's becouse I'm the only one, who can go outside when it's sunny, but I've still got some vamipre features, and one of them is sun sensitivity. It doesn't kill me, but I still can get really hurt by it. Ya'll remember the London episode ? Yeah... And about that bunny part I have no Idea what it means. Maybe it's becouse I'm the only one, that thinks about a bunny more as a pet (even though I don't know how somebody can have such a cute/gross thing in their hands), and they think about it as a snack. 

- Hii mom. - I say with tiredness in my voice. - What's for breakfast?

-Sandwiches with pork! - I'm not suprised.

-Hi Oldie - Says my lil bro. 

-Hi Toddler - I say, even though he's only seven years younger than me. We always give eachother weird nick names. 

-Why do you look so tired? - My mom asks, with worry in her voice. She always too worried, couse she kinda doesn't understand the human world. She's never been a human, so stuff like hunger (for food), or tiredness is sorta new for her.

-It's probably, couse she's been texting Courtney the whole night again. - Says my brother, while making the sound of kissing.. Since me and Courntey are a couple he always makes fun of me, becouse for him, that it's kinda weak to have a soft side for a partner.

-Shut up! - I say with annoyance in my voice, but in the same time I blush.

-Gwen! - My mom disciplines me. - But let's get back to the subjects. Is that true?

-Maybe... But I'm 19! I can do whatever I want!

- Of course you can, bot I'm just worried about you, and you know it! But it's ok. You're going to get some sleep in the day. And as we're talking about Courtney, you can invite her today, couse today's a big vamipre party, so everybody will be out. - My mom says. 

I like when they're out. It's not like I don't like their presence, it's just, that when they're here, I feel like I'm not really special, and they always want to make it up to me somehow, for exemple with being extra nice to me or giving me some weird presents (last time I got a stuffed bear, but not like a teddy - an acctual bear with stuffing in it - I've been crying for like 8h straight after that). And when I'm home alone I can just be myself. Meet up with my TDFs (total drama friends), and just not tu pretend somebody I'm not. I always pretend to be so cool and stuff like that. And actually I like scary and gothic thing, but from time to time, I need to see unicorns and rainbows.

-For how long will you be staying there? - I ask

-I don't know. A week probably. - my mum answers - You know how long these fancy parties take.

- Yup. What time does it start?

- In three hours - My brother intterups.

- Yeah. - my mum starts - So we're going to eat breakfast, and get ready and we'll get going, ok?

- Sure! - say.

I ate. I feel so full, couse my mum always gives me big portions. I start to text on our TDF group. But than I realise, that I'd like to spent one day alone. Probably I'll just end up with my phone on quiet mode, listening to music and writing poems till the sun's up. I know it's not a very bright plan, but I like to spend my free time in that way. It's one of a phew things, that just make me feel safe and happy. 

-Two hours later-

- Bye sunny-bunny - Says my mum. - You're going to be okay, right? 

- Yup! Sure - I answer.

- And if you're going to invite your friends, rethink inviting that Eva-girl. I don't trust her. - says my uncle. Last time he lost an arm wrestling contest with her. Yes, a vampire lost with a teenage girl. He must feel really ashemed now.  Of course Eva, doesn't know, that she was compeating with a vampire, but she was still proud of herself.

- Of course Uncle! - I say with a little bit of sarcasm in my voice. - Goodbye everyone! Have a blast!

- Yeah... Like it's possible. - my bro whispers, but he thought thet nobody would hear it. I did.

- You're going to be fine. - I whisper back and wink an eye.

They finally left. Relief. Now it's just me, my lizards, Angus and Vampira, and some other creatures living here. I've decide, that I'll fo on a walk to a grocery store. I want to buy some stuff other than pork. 

While I walk I chose to take the path going through a park. I like going that way. It's so chilly there. And then suddenly I see... Heather! What is SHE doing here?! She's the last person I'd expect to be here. Even Chris'd be more likley to be here, for exemple to announce some new stupid season. But let's get back to Heather, it's not like I hate her. Not anymore. On the set, we literally wanted to kill eachother. But after it has all ended, we went to a café and than talked for like 3 houres. We aren't any soulmates, or besties, but we neither are enemies, and that's what I care about.

- Hi Heather! - I call her.

Now I see, that she's not alone. There're some other people with her. I know a phew of them. There're Alejandro, Harold and Sierra. But there're also three people thet I don't know. There's one guy from Pahkitew Island probably called Topher. And a couple from The Ridonculous Race - Jen and Tom.

- Ow! Hi Gwen! - says Heather. - Let me introduce you! Here sits Topher. He was in Pahkitew Island. He and Sierra are dating. 

- Nice to meet you! - says Topher.

- Nice to meet you to! - I respond.

- Ok. And here sit Tom and Jen. They've taken part in The Ridonculous Race. 

- How're you Gwen? - asks Tom

- Fine, thanks for asking!

- Now, as you all know eachother, maybe you should stay, Gwen? - Heather asks me.

- I actually can't. Sorry guys. Maybe next time? - I say politely.

- Ow. Ok. But if something changes, just let us know, and feel invited. - says heather. It's so weird, she's so nice. It's suspicious. 

- So see you guys! - I say, and go away fast, but not too fast, to not be mean or something.

It's not like I don't want to spend time with them. I just promissed myself, that today'll be a day for me. No one else. Just me, my notebook and my lizards. Nothing more. 

I get to the shop and take the cart and go to the meat aisle. I'd kill for some turkey. But of course - they don't have it. So I just take some chicken nuggets, the dino ones to be specific. I know it's kinda lame, but I just can't help it. I love them. But nobody should know about this. Exept my really close friends. When we have sleepovers we always eat thousends of them. The other thing that I take are eggs. My family ussualy gives me meat, so other animal-based products are really rare for me. And they don't eat much vaggies ofc, but I love salads and other stuff like that. I go buy some other stuff. In the end I go to candy aisle and I take the marshmellows. As always. I got used to eating them. I kinda miss the vibration during the campfire ceremony. But at least I still can eat theese treats by myself.

While walking to the cash desk I see haloween stuff. I decide to go to it. I see many vamipre stuff. There're their teeth and capes, and wigs. One third of them is acurate. My family actually has really sharp teeth. But the hair and clothing- that's sort of a myth, but actually they do wear capes on special occasions. Like for the party, they just went to. I know it's stupid, but I take the teeth, couse I want to try and look like I'm really an Ingrid.

On my way back home, I walk around the park. I don't want Heather to see me. That'd be akward. So I need to walk a bit more with my heavy bags, but it's worth it. Or is it? I don't know. But I think it's the safest option. When I finnaly get home I unload my grocery's and feed my lizards. And as I predicted - I go to my room for a notebook, take my earphones and some veggies, go to our garden, sit on a rock, turn off the notifications on my phone, and start to scrible some words on paper while listening to my favourite music. 

-Phew hours later-

It's probably 7pm. I go to my room for a break from writing. And then I see those vampire teeths on my desk. I decide to try them on. I take them and go to the  corridor, becouse there's a mirror and good lighting. I put them on, and when I look at myself I have a weird feeling. It's both saddnes and hapiness, pride and disapointment. I start to cry. Becouse of what. Some stupid teeth? I'm not that weak! I'm not that... I'm not.. I am... I don't know who I am anymore. Am I just a stupid monster-wannabe? Or am I just a stupid goth girl? Is there even a place, that I belong in...