Chapter 64
In Dravida:
Dear sisters,
Please accept my heartfelt love and respect at first. Many seasons have passed since we last met. How are you sisters? Is everything alright there? I hope jijashree is treating you right and you both have found your place beside him with equal love and affection.
As for me, I am not the little girl anymore that used to run and hide behind you two. I have grown up into a woman now. And so much that in a few days, I'm going to get married. In all these years, you two have not come back here for once. And I understand. Dravida has welcomed you two with love and honour. I am happy for you both. Hopefully may God grant me the same blessing! I just wish to be able to get your blessings at this most auspicious time of my life. Maybe this is the only chance I will have to meet you in upcoming years.
It will be a great pleasure and the best gift that I receive at my wedding, if you two come here and bless me sisters.
Your little sister,
Indumati.
Rajkumar Dheemant entered inside his wives chamber, only to find them sitting sadly on the stairs that led to the varanda. His always cheerful bubbly queens looking lost and upset brought a frown to his face.
"What happened? Why are my flowers looking so gloomy today?" Dheemant asked sitting behind the two of them.
Rajkumari Himani & Poornima only threw a short glance at their husband but didn't say anything. Dheemant frowned again as he tried to read their silence.
"Okay. So I thought after receiving the invitation from your father and that letter from your sister, you two would be happy. But here you are sitting with dark faces. I guess you're not pleased with the news of her marriage." Dheemant said.
"No, no---"
"We do---"
"Wish to--"
"Go."
Himani & Poornima replied.
"Then why are you sitting sadly instead of preparing to leave?" He inquired.
"She has grown ---"
"So much in these years."
"But we never thought ---"
"Or minded her in cheers."
"She was the little girl ---"
"Who ran behind us in small steps."
"And when we moved ---"
"We never searched ---"
"The lost footsteps."
Dheemant thought on their words and understood that they were feeling guilty for not keeping contact with their little sister, Indumati. Though little Indumati had remembered them as she grew up into a beautiful woman. She had remembered the twin big sisters of hers, whom she adored.
"When the bond is formed by heart, it doesn't matter the distance or time that keeps us apart." Dheemant said finally with a smile. "Look! For so many years, Drisana was missing. But did that make a difference in the love that always resided inside us for her? Similarly, the years in between can't wipe the fact that you both love your sister dearly."
With Dheemant's assuring words, Himani & Poornima found their smile again. They immediately started discussing the preparations of the journey to their father's kingdom and the gifts they should select. Dheemant shook his head as they had already forgotten about him and was busy in planning. But he was satisfied to see his bubbly wives back to their cheerful moods.
"Arya! ---" Both the wives of Dheemant stopped him as he was retreating from the chamber leaving them to their preparations.
As Dheemant turned to them with a questioning glance, they asked.
"Who is the lucky one ---
"Who is getting the privilege---
"Of holding our sisters' hand---
"In Panigrahanam?"
Dheemant's lips curved slowly in mirth as he answered.
"Well. The lucky one to become another one of Maharaj Shankhapal's son-in-law is none other than the prince of Hastinapur.
The third Kaurava brother, Vikarna."
In Manipura:
Maharaj Chitravahana stood at the high tower of his palace. His eyes were glued to where earth met sky in an illusion of end. After long suffocating moments, he diverted his eyes to the practice ground where his daughter and the future of Manipura was busy in training the guards. A few soldiers were also training beside her and a few stood sharpening their swords.
"Maharaj." The mahamantri of Manipura brought his attention to him.
"Are all the preparations done?"
"Not yet. We still don't have enough weapons to encounter the army. Though our blacksmith are working tirelessly day and night. Hopefully, they'll finish the work soon."
"And the storage? Did the provisions arrive?"
"Yes, Maharaj. That is taken care of. We have more than enough to support our men."
Maharaj Chitravahana released a relieved breath as his eyes went to the practice area again.
"Rajkumari is working tirelessly to prepare our soldiers for the upcoming battle Maharaj. With her guidance, our army will deliver a proper answer to the enemy."
"I hope so too Mahamantri." Maharaj Chitravahana replied without taking his eyes off of the area where the commander-in-chief of Manipura was preparing her army to march towards her very first battle.
In Indraprasth:
The celebration went on for the whole day and at the next, they were ready to welcome the new bride in the family. Since morning, Vijaya was busy in the rituals. Here, the brothers were getting tired after waiting for Sahdev to arrive for the rituals. And finally Nakul and Arjun went to fetch him only to find the groom engrossed in some parchment seating at his study chamber.
Arjun and Nakul shared a look and shook their heads before disturbing him.
"Sahdev, did you check the new proposal of trade that came from Karusha?" Arjun asked.
"No. I will check it tomorrow bhrata Arjun." Sahdev replied while folding back the parchment and keeping it aside.
"Why the delay though? You can finish it today only." Arjun said instead.
"I won't get much time to properly check it today." Sahdev replied nonchalantly.
"Why is that? Do you have some other work?" Arjun asked again while frowning.
"Bhrata Arjun, you're forgetting. Today is his wedding. He needs to attend that too." Nakul pitched in this time.
"Yes! Wedding!" Arjun gave a wide-eyed look. But then added normally,
"But those keeps happening. You concentrate on your work first."
"Are you two done?" Sahdev asked fully understanding his brothers were teasing him.
"Are you done?" Nakul asked pointedly.
"I was just coming for the rituals anyway." Sahdev said.
"Thank God. You're finally going to squeeze your wedding in between your work schedule!" Arjun said in a bored tone while shaking his head.
Sahdev didn't say anything as Arjun and Nakul kept staring at him silently.
"Are we not getting late now?" Sahdev said finally being uncomfortable under the skeptical looks.
Arjun held him from his shoulder and made him sit on the couch before sitting in front of him. Sahdev released a breath avoiding his brothers' stares.
"What's the matter?" Nakul asked seriously this time.
"What?" Sahdev tried to act nonchalant.
"Why are you this disinterested at your own marriage?" Arjun asked straight out. Sahdev looked at his brothers thinking about denying it, but then understood he wouldn't be able to. Not to them.
"I---" Sahdev hesitated for some moments before unburdening himself.
"I never really wanted this marriage. I--- still don't. What I did, it was to protect Rajkumari Vijaya. I didn't see any other way at that time. But I don't see her as a life partner too and even now I am unable to do so. I fear, will I be able to fulfill my responsibilities towards her or will I fail and end up hurting her!"
Silence descended on the chamber after his statement.
"Vijaya is going to be your wife now Sahdev. She deserves love, care and affection from you. It is your responsibility that you always respect her and protect her honour. From now on she's going to look up to you at every situation and need. And she should be assured that her husband is someone she can talk to without hesitation. So, before being her husband, you've to be her friend. And friends talk from their hearts." Arjun said breaking the heavy silence after a while.
"Wait! Aren't those the exact same words you used with me before my wedding?!" Nakul asked with a frown.
"And it sounds like something bhrata Yudhisthir would say." Sahdev added being confused.
"I had the same thought." Nakul supported.
"Sabdo pe nehi, bhabna o par dhyaan kendrit karo! (Concentrate on emotions, not the words!)" Arjun said instead.
"Even then it doesn't fit bhrata Arjun. He knows what she deserves and what should be done. But he isn't able to bring himself into it naturally and happily. For him it's another responsibility to be fulfilled, not the bond of love and affection that a marriage should be." Nakul explained understanding his twins' dilemma.
"Don't you like her?" Arjun asked with a frown.
"I don't dislike her. But I can't imagine her as a compatible life partner too." Sahdev replied meekly.
"And how do we know if someone is compatible for us or not?" Nakul asked him this time taking a short pause before adding,
"The truth is we never know for sure either the person in front, is compatible or not. God has given different qualities and gifts to everyone. Then who are we to judge compatibility?"
Nakul sat beside Sahdev before continuing.
"Till now you're looking at Rajkumari Vijaya as a victim that you need to protect. Stop doing that. Today when she walks into the Mandap, look at her as a woman. A woman who will accompany you through all the phases of life supporting you, trusting you, caring for you, believing in you. When she will step on your left side and become your Vamangi (wife), she will not only get rights, but offer you the same too. When she falls, you'll have to catch her. But when you stumble, she'll be ready to fall with you too."
"That's partnership right?" Sahdev stated more than asking. Nakul heard the question though that he didn't put into words.
"Trust is the base, affection is the pillar and caring is the roof. That's how the nest of love is created brother. Give it time. When God has bound you in this relation, he will surely bless you to have love and happiness in life." Nakul said keeping an assuring hand on his shoulder and squeezing lightly.
"Sahdev, Vijaya is a very innocent and sensitive girl. And when someone's heart is pure, it is impossible to not love them." Arjun said gently. "Don't be worried about finding love. Love will find you eventually when its meant to be."
*****†*****
"Call the bride." The priest announced.
With great enthusiasm and joy, Indraprasth had been decorated beautifully. Every street, every shop, every house of the city had been decorated with flowers and colourful silk drapes. Sweets were distributed freely among the city dwellers. Feasts were arranged for the commoners. Brahmans were fed and given gifts generously with respect. Guests and diplomats from different kingdoms had arrived to join the celebration.
Rituals had started filling the air with holy chants. Sahdev silently went through them being very aware of the speculation and stares of the people around him. It was a very uncomfortable situation for him as he felt self-conscious. Though he maintained a very stoic face, from inside he was praying for this episode to be over soon. He looked at his brothers to find them with smiles of satisfaction and joy. Rajmata Kunti smiled affectionately at him from her seated position.
And finally it was time to bring Vijaya to the Mandap. Sahdev stared at the holy fire as everyone waited patiently. Vijaya entered the venue slowly surrounded by maids. Decked in beautiful jeweleries and clothes, she was looking so adorable and ethereal that it was difficult to take one's eyes off of her. But Sahdev couldn't find the will to glance at her way. His eyes were glued to the holy fire though he was very aware of every step she took towards him.
Vijaya on the other hand, took slow trembling steps towards the Mandap. The stares of so many people caused her nervousness to skyrocket. She shallowed a shaky breath and focused on the man waiting at the Mandap. The man who was her saviour, her protector, her trustworthy companion. Her groom.
Her erratic heartbeat found a rhythm as her eyes drank the sight of him. He wore a dark maroon colored dhoti and light blue colored angavastra. The golden crown on his head gleamed brightly along with the wristbands and breastplate. His golden brown skin seemed to radiate as the sunrays kissed him. His sharp eyes remained focused and held tranquility. Her steps became more solid and assured as she centered on the chiselled handsome face of his. Just a little distance away he was. Then she would be beside him.
Vijaya's slow steps led her to her fate. She climbed the stairs tentatively and entered the well decorated mandap. Her eyes once again went to Rajkumar Sahdev's to find his diverted to somewhere else. Vijaya felt a little dejected as he did not once glanced at her. The priest asked them to exchange garland then. A shiver ran down her spine as the rituals resumed. Vijaya's nervousness and insecurities grew just as such. By the time she took the garland in her hand, they were visibly shaking. Her eyes unwillingly filled with unshed tears.
With a trembling hand, she placed the garland around Sahdev's neck. And just at that time, Sahdev upped his eyes to look at her for the first time that day. His eyes found the scared burning one's of Vijaya's. Vijaya stared at him to find something, anything. But all she could find was a stoic neutral expression. Like the unfazed beauty in front of him did nothing to affect him. He put the garland around her and they sat again.
"Who will perform the ritual of Kanyadan (extending rights of the girl)?" The priest asked.
The barely restrained tear slipped free from her eyes at his question. She remembered her father whose right it was. But would he do it if given the opportunity? Would he want to do it? He did not even come to attend the wedding clearly stating his displeasure at her. Why would he want to do the Kanyadan of the daughter he hated! Now who would do it? Would the wedding be stopped with this hinderence? Had she embarrassed Rajkumar Sahdev and his family already?!
Just through the storm of her thoughts, she felt a gentle affectionate touch on her right hand. She upped her head to see Shyam beside her giving her an assuring smile. Vijaya released a shaky breath as Krishna did her Kanyadan. He completed the ritual by placing her hand on top of Rajkumar Sahdev's right palm. Vijaya's eyes again went to her groom to find his centered on their joined hands.
Vijaya felt a lump forming in her chest. Was Deva angry with her for some reason? Did she do something to upset him? Or was he simply unhappy with this union? Was he embarrassed because of her? He had said that he was against the idea of marrying her. He was forced to do this. How would that affect this relationship? How would he accept her? He had offered her a family. But what about her? What had she had to offer him? Nothing. Nothing at all. Then why would he want her? Would he really be able to accept her ever? And if he didn't, then what would happen to her? What would she do?!
Questions kept circling her mind while the rituals were proceeding. Tears clouded her beautiful eyes, but she bit the inside of her cheek hard to stop them from falling. Her distressed condition was visible to everyone. The royal family of Indraprasth was tensed as an unhappy bride reflected the marriage in a negative way. Rajmata Kunti looked at her eldest daughter-in-law in concern. Devika was just as much concerned too. She along with Draupadi had taken hours to prepare Vijaya for this day. Explaining all the etiquettes, elegance and posture, a queen was supposed to maintain. They had also talk to her about their family and Sahdev to make her more comfortable and accepting. But now, it seemed to have little effect.
Then the priest asked the groom and bride to exchange their seats as Mangal phera was completed. But this was where the mishap took place. Vijaya with blurred vision and shaky legs tried to move past Sahdev, but she stumbled at her own feet. Vijaya closed her eyes tightly with a heavy heart as she was falling. The last thought echoing in her mind was -
'I failed.'
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