The book I picked out was titled 'The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants'. I also bought several lime flavored suckers. I was enjoying one as I walked down Third Street on my way back to the cottages. It was cooling off and I could see the white mist of a fog bank hanging over the ocean as it got ready to blanket Drakes Harbor for the night.

I continued walking, feeling a sadness slip over me. Letting out a big sigh, I became aware of music floating to me on the cold breeze. I listened and realized that I had been hearing it in my head before my ears caught hold of the sound. It was a country song, slow and sad. I couldn't make out the words, but it seemed to be getting closer.

As I approached the bar that was next to the liquor store, I could see the music came from a jukebox just inside the open door. A man was singing about breathing in and out and taking one step at a time. It was beautiful and sad. I was busy trying to get my head and my emotions on the same page when I caught a quick look at a familiar figure walk past the bar's door. Then I felt the familiar old 'let down' feeling inside me, and I knew I would be spending the evening alone - again.

*

''It's Saturday, August 2nd, at 7:43 am,' my clock radio spat out. I took time to stretch, yawn and groan. My room was cold and I cuddled back down under the covers.

Thad! The thought came to me like an electric shock just ran through my body. I jumped out of bed and found some denim shorts and a yellow short-sleeved shirt. I quickly brushed my teeth in the latrine and slipped into my tennis shoes. I was about to turn the knob on the front door, when I realized it might be too early to visit. I decided to have breakfast first. I had a few Frosted Flakes left, but the rest of the cereal was gone. My mom hadn't shopped for weeks. Fortunately, people use milk to mix in their drinks so the liquor store carried it, or I would be out of luck.

After I ate my cereal, I went to check on my mom. She was sleeping or passed out. She had gotten me a key, so I locked the door as I left.

When I got to the foot of the path, I looked back down at the buildings; small shacks all in a row. The aqua blue doors stood out from the pale walls. There were eight doors. I had never counted them before. We were staying in the fifth door down from the side where I stood, and Linda had stayed on the end, three doors away from us. I felt like I was looking through a window where I could see the past happening in front of me. I watched as Linda and I walked together down to the beach, laughing and talking. All of a sudden, I got a cold chill. I either heard or felt a voice in my head say, be careful.

I shook my head, trying to empty out the feeling. I wasn't afraid to go up the hill, so looking at the path, I began to climb. I started out strong, taking big steps as I headed towards Thad's house, but as I got closer, I began to slow down. Maybe he was being polite to my mother. Maybe he didn't want to see me at all. By the time his house came into view, I had worked myself up in a tangle of doubt.

"Hey, Gilly!"

I looked up to see Thad walk around from the side of his shed with an armful of wood. I began walking towards him as his dog, Captain, came up to me wagging his stubby tail.

"Hi," I said to both of them. "I was hoping you would be up."

Thad rolled the wood onto the pile that was already started on his porch. He sort of cocked is head like he was trying to figure out what I meant, and then he smiled.

"I've always been an early riser. I see you are too."

"Sometimes," I replied, remembering the Sunday I didn't get up in time to go with my dad and Sam. Guilt seemed to wrap around me so tight that I couldn't breathe. Finally, I let out a big sigh, as I sucked in some cool fresh air.

"Well, I was going to cook up some bacon and eggs before I go down to the beach to paint. Would you like to join me?"

"Okay," I said, as my mouth watered at the thought of bacon.

Captain barked in agreement.

"I know you'll join me," he said, petting his dog's head.

The front door with the tree carving led into a small entry. The walls were paneled in light wood with dark brown knots scattered over them and the floor was covered in smooth gray colored rock. From there it opened up to a large living room made of the same wood and rock. The enormous fireplace was pieced together with lighter rocks and the mantle was made from a thick piece of wood. It held framed photos and driftwood and other stuff my mother called 'keepsakes'. The furniture was covered in a soft brown leather with bright colored throws and pillows. It was a perfect, homey room like they show in magazines.

"This is beautiful," I told him.

"Thanks, my ex-wife did most of the decorating. She had good taste in design," he said. "Do you want some orange juice to drink with your breakfast?"

"Yes, please."

I walked over to the mantle and studied the photographs in the frames. There were several pictures of Thad with a woman and a girl. I guessed they were his family - before.

Just like his, my life was divided into before and after. I noticed how happy they all seemed. The girl was pretty with brown hair and blue eyes. She had a friendly smile and I thought if I had known her I would have liked her.

Captain had laid down half on the red area rug and half on the smooth rock floor. He made a moaning sound and closed his eyes.

"Breakfast is served," Thad called from the kitchen. Captain was on his feet in an instant and trotted after his master's voice. I followed, taking in all the interesting and beautiful things that made up Thad's home.

The kitchen was huge. "You can fit about ten of the cottage's kitchens in here!" I exclaimed. The large kitchen opened up to an eating nook surrounded by windows that looked out over the hillside and part of the beach. "This is beautiful," I told him again.

Thad just smiled as he set my plate of scrambled eggs and bacon in front of me. He went back to the kitchen and brought a plate of toast with two different kinds of jam over to the table. I hadn't noticed until that moment, how hungry I was and had been for a long time. This thought overwhelmed me, and I began to feel even sadder than I had before. I looked down as I wiped at my eyes. I stuffed a piece of bacon in my mouth to hopefully distract my emotions.

Thad pretended not to notice. He talked to Captain, trying to get him to sit and speak. When he finally did as he was asked, Thad rewarded him with a piece of bacon.

"How do you like it here, Gilly?"

"It's okay," I said as I shrugged.

"Have you made any friends? I know there's a few kids about your age around here."

"No, not really."

He studied me for a minute like he really wanted to figure me out. "I thought I saw you talking with a few of the local kids. Don't you want to hang out with them?"

I looked up from my plate to find him staring at me with a serious look on his face. He was waiting for me to answer. Again, just like my hunger, I was forced to notice how lonely I was to talk to someone, and how long it had been since I had a real conversation.

"No, they don't like me and I don't like them much either. I did have a friend, for five days. We hung out, then she had to leave." I felt my eyes start to tear up again.

"I'm glad you made a friend, even if it was for a short time. The kids around here are mostly brats. I don't blame you for not liking them much."

I smiled at his understanding.

He poured himself another cup of coffee and asked, "What brought you and your mom here?"

I shrugged. I wasn't used to having to answer questions. They made me uncomfortable.

"My mom wanted to go somewhere to write over the summer. I guess this is where she picked."

"Is your mom a writer?"

"She thinks she is. She just wanted an excuse to get away for a while."

"Why? What did she want to get away from, Gilly?"

"Nothing," I said as tears began to leak from my eyes."

He gave me a sad crooked smile, "If you ever want to talk about it or anything else, I'm a good listener."

I nodded without looking up.

"Well, let's get set up on the beach. I like the early light to start my painting."

*

It didn't take long to get Thad settled in front of his easel. He had a brand new canvas.

"What are you going to paint?" I asked.

"The ocean. People seem to like my seascapes."

I watched as he began to squeeze out dark shades of greens, blues and grays.

"Are you going to make it stormy?"

He looked over at me like he was looking at a puzzle piece, "I told you, the ocean is always stormy for me. I paint what I see."

"You're a good painter, why don't you paint the cove the way it looks right now? It's so peaceful and calm."

He let out a big sigh and I suddenly felt like I had said the wrong thing again. I waited, feeling sick inside as he shook his head. After what seemed like a very long time, he said, "I'll make you a deal. You tell me what really brought you and your mother here, and I'll paint the cove just the way it is."

Now what was I suppose to do?