YUVEN

'I killed him! Isn't that what you wanted?

Ridiculous, how could he say that? I didn't want him to kill that draugr — his father to release him from that horrible existence. I could've done it, but no. He never learns. He never learns and he never tells me anything. Yuven dug his fingers into his palm at Fenrer's disappearing shape when he scrambled through the underbrush with a quick furious whack at the leaves with his crescent blade before he went out of sight and the leaves he sliced scattered their fallen pieces along the grass. No, of course not, not for you, Fenrer Pyren. You, who would sooner see yourself burn for others. You, who would make yourself bleed to make others happy — though you turn your nose up at blood magick, claiming it taboo against your faith. I do not see how this is different. You still bleed. Words sharpened into notes, but it never left his tongue as he ground his jaw into his teeth as the golden ashes shimmered into the darkness of the moonlit shadows. You're foolish. It cracked against his neck and he lowered it to release the tension. But I truly am... no better.

"Yuven."

Her voice set his own song of wrath alight — she, the change in the air and brought the force out of Fenrer Pyren. "I do not want to talk, Sazaka." He slipped his tongue underneath the guillotine of his fangs. "I do not want to hear a word unless you intend to tell me what you said to him in the tomb."

"I didn't say anything," she argued.

"You must have!" Yuven whipped around to her, lost in the inferno. "I cannot see why he would do something like this unless you said something to him that made him think that this was a wise idea! We should have left!" He tossed his hands to the distant hills. "We should have kept on our route to Sivaport." Arms folded, he huffed through the remainder of the cold. "I cannot understand why he continues to push me away, his Oathbound, only to turn around and seemingly talk to you more than he will talk to me." Ice bit behind his eyes as he tried to shake out the image of a small Hanekan boy, reaching his hand out to him with a smile of understanding on his face. Why do you do that to me, Fenrer? Why do you never tell me anything? Why do things have to change now that she's here? He eyed her, and she scowled at him.

"From what I see and have heard," Adara hissed. "It's you pushing him away most of the time. Can you blame him for being a little hesitant when you lash out over the simplest things?" Adara stomped for him, unafraid. "I'm not going to let you blame me when clearly this has been a problem before I met you two. No, Traye, I said nothing to him." Her fingers curled against her palm. "He wanted to come here to check on something he referred to as special to his family — and you know what, maybe it's good we came here." She gulped. "Maybe it's good that we were here to release that draugr — Yuven, that's his father, how could you lash out about that?" Dampness crawled down her cheeks, but he struggled to figure out if it was the mist, or her own tears. "How could he have known? Can't you understand how he must feel?"

Cold. Towers broke with horrible, crimson tendrils given form by ripping distortion. A soft lullaby. Yuven shook out his feathers and released his tongue from death, and his fury wasted into ice-water. Fenrer, who reached his hand out and took his with the fervent prayer.

'You're not a monster.'

"I don't understand because we grew up together, taken in by Neven Lotayrin when we were boys," he hissed. "He should know better than to hide things from me. We have known each other for thirteen turns. If it is not you, then..." He stepped back from her until his back hit the post Fenrer trapped Soren Pyren against, and he sat down. "I have always hurt Fenrer in little ways. We became Oathbound because he wouldn't leave me alone about it." He drove his fingers into his accursed white hair. "Look at where his determination got him, Sazaka." He slumped deeper to rest against the stairs. "I told you not everyone will want to be your friend."

"Yes, because I'm the scary, monstrous Anima come to destroy the world." Adara stomped. "I get it."

Yuven twisted away to avoid the reality of his life. "You're not."

She stopped. "What?"

"I am getting really tired of people, including yourself, considering you a monster," he bit. "Anima were not, and have never been the true definition of monsters. It was a few stupid individuals who gave them that reputation, and the hunger for power was never limited to them. Monarchs. Royalty. Leaders. You get too big and you find yourself slavering as much as the beasts. Because of their ignorance in tearing open the flow, to discover the truth — but look at what it gave us." He dug his fingers into his ribcage. "Derelicts. Derelicts and anything tainted by them are monsters, and you complain that it is not your job to make people see you differently." He breathed in the mist to replenish what little energy he had. "Imagine for a second no one wanted to be near you out of fear that you would spread the Derelict taint." Bitter blood filled the back of his throat, and he cursed himself for not taking his medication — but when it failed to give him relief, he lost the will to continue. "Yes, Sazaka, you were treated as an outsider at first. But most come to you with an open-mind, drawn by your naive compassion for those who would use you." Ice released from his brow as he twisted to her. "So don't you see? Fenrer will never turn his back on someone, even if they grab him only to hurt him, and I don't want him to get hurt. He was one of the few people who never saw me as a monster." Yuven sighed. "Because when people look at me... they just see a Derelict."

"What do you mean?"

He found the words tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them. "Remember what I told you about the Corruption?"

"... Yes? I remember the anatomical drawing as well."

Why am I saying this?

To you? You changed things.

Maria's medication changed.

He hated change almost as much as he hated stout monarchs.

Almost.

"I am what people consider a Corruptor — and some people believe that my mere presence brings Derelicts and the taint. My mere existence seeps into the world and turns it to crimson ash and decay. To some, I am no better than a Derelict — the husk whose piece I still carry in my body, causing me these flashes where I lost moments in time," he explained, but his life ebbed into the flow to redress the imbalance he caused by mere proximity, but he never let that leave his lips. "And... Fenrer intakes it himself. He takes mine and other's darkness, their negativity, their pain onto himself and won't think about his own — never considers what it might do to him in the long run." He put his head in his hands. "He's so foolish..."

And... I want to protect him as he fights to protect me. I was foolish. I should've never let him make the promise he did back then.

"Yuven..."

"Walk away," he whispered and got up to leave her in the garden. "Turn away. Pretend I didn't say anything - this conversation never happened." Flames tore at his heart, but the touch of the sun was his last soothing embrace. He rested his hands against the railing and tried not to puke out his life.

Her footsteps alerted him to her disobedience. "Yuven—"

"Sazaka, this will not end well for you if you try to do what he does," he hissed and drowned in tears. "Walk away. I don't want your friendship, I don't want your compassion, and I do not want your sympathy."

Because in the end... I will hurt everyone close to me.

Yuven raised his head at the movement of the mist, and a direwolf padded up to them, fading with the current of the bending flow. Kon, Fenrer's Aeoniir. His Familiar. He brushed his thumb into his eyes to wipe away water as Kon stopped on his other side. "What is it? Where is Fenrer?"

Kon twisted around to point at the bushes where Fenrer disappeared. "Little Wolf collapsed by the creek."

Yuven jolted. "What?"

"I will take you to him," Kon said, but his growling voice was a fuzz on the world.

In the end... What other choice do I have but to push him away when he won't take care of himself? Yuven dared to look at Adara, whose brow furrowed in concern directed at him. He abandoned the needlessness to rush after Kon when he bounded back to where he came. He jumped over bushes, roots, and fallen logs as Kon's mist broke apart with the ticking of time. He tripped on a root, but caught himself as he heard the whisper of water in his veins. He stopped at Fenrer's fallen shape, face-down in the grass. He checked on Adara once more before rushing to his side. "Fenrer," he whispered with a hand on his shoulder. He wrapped his other arm underneath Fenrer's neck to shift him onto his side. Eyes closed, Fenrer gave no acknowledgement to their presence, and when Kon lowered his head, he dissipated into the twilight mist.

"Is he okay?" Adara asked.

Yuven ignored her, and he scowled when she knelt down on his other side. "He got punched in the head, what do you think?"

"Yuven—"

He swung the air before pulling Fenrer away from the lapping creek at his fingertips, though he struggled against his dead-weight. "Ach... Stubborn asshole." He dug his heels in, but Fenrer slumped in his fingers. "We need to get him somewhere comfortable." Another attempt to heave Fenrer into his arms, his knees burned and he cursed his failing strength sapped by an old husk. "Come on, Fenrer, you have to work with me..."

Isn't that what we promised?

"Yuven," Adara said.

He ignored her.

He froze when Adara grabbed his forearm, and he glared at her.

"Let me help. You're tired, too."

I always am, that will never change.

Yuven shook her off, but clung onto Fenrer, pressing his fingers against his cheek. I just... didn't want you to get hurt. Why do you have to reach out your hand every single time? I could've handled it. You could've just sat back and... not burden yourself again. He huffed through his nose, then eyed her when she withdrew her hand. "I will get spots for us to sleep out the rest of this night." He let Fenrer slip out of his hands to rest on the grass next to Adara's knees.

"I mean, do that, but I'll still need some assistance," Adara pointed out. "You don't have to do everything alone, I think that's your problem."

"It's his as well." Yuven straightened himself out and sent a whisper of wind through the grass to flatten it into a sleeping spot. A soft white glyph curved around it to create a well of safety. He left the new spot to return to Adara, helping her lift Fenrer by the arms off the ground. You will get hurt over and over. He let Adara take the reins as she braced herself in the legs instead of her back. One moment, she breathed out. Another, in, as Yuven pushed Fenrer into her arms.

Forced to let go.

Unburdened by a deathly flow, Adara shifted Fenrer towards the sleeping spot.

"You lift with your legs, not your back," she said to him as she lowered Fenrer to the ground. Yuven frowned when her hand drew across Fenrer's cheek. Too close. Her hesitation cracked against the world, and she winced and drew away from him. "Now what?"

Don't get too close...

His heart squeezed when Maria's hand slipped into his, but he found himself lost in the grasp of the sun doomed to leave him cold in the ground. He dug his fingers into the grass, to experience the same, fleeting moment of his life. What I wouldn't give... to not hurt the people I love. He released the grass of his choking frustration as Adara sat against a tree and no longer looked at him. But that is what will happen. It is what will happen because I let them too close. I will die...

And they will be left behind with nothing but my memory... when I can't even remember my own.

He turned his back on them to tuck his head into his hands, but when he looked up, Fenrer, a seven turns old child, knelt for him with his hand outstretched and the same, unwavering smile of faith. He reached out in return, but hated himself for the desperate wish.

I could never say no to you... if you had just told me... how could I have said no?

'Don't worry, Yuven,' Fenrer said, so long ago with a tip of his head. 'I'll be your shield instead.'

But why me? You never changed that even when you knew I was going to die.

He slumped against the grass and ignored his own tears when they drowned his heart.

Myl'la... Maria, I wish I could have your determination and his unrelenting faith, but I dread what will happen if... if you cannot do what you mean to do. If you cannot find the answer in obscurity... what if it can't be found and the shadows will overtake me, and not even the sun can burn it away?

He hoped his letter of woe reached her before it was too late.

He wanted to see the sun again.