"God has given you this life because he knows, that you're strong enough to live it"

As a person, I tend to put myself in many situations to see where it would get me. Whether the consequence was good or bad, I learned that in both ways, a new lesson is given. Have you ever had that personality quiz where you get to choose if you think you're sensitive or strong? Or if you're shy or outgoing? I've never really understood those kinds of quizzes because at some situations I'm shy, and at others I'm outgoing and lively. I see myself in both traits; I've never really stuck into one. But I see that as a positive thing, to the fact where I actually can put my shoes in a person who's this, and then put my shoes in a person who's that. Maybe that's why I understood many problems other people complain to me. They ask me" Do you know this feeling?" and I never really remember a time where I said no.

Growing up, I've struggled with trust issues. I never really got a grasp of a person who fully trusted someone else. I trust a couple of people yes, but it does take time till I actually do. A person once advised me, that a person will always try to put himself first before anyone else. No matter how much they seem kind or generous. So never ever depend on anyone else because at the end, you're the only one who can bring happiness to yourself. It goes back to that saying, "Don't trust anyone", which from experience, is absolutely true. In my religion, as a Muslim, have always knew that at the end "يوم القيامة" , a wife will leave her husband, a sibling will leave the other, and a pregnant woman will drop her baby just to go to judgment. Everyone will put themselves first, remember that.

Enough of sad thoughts, let's start with the good stuff. Let's say, a loyal friend. Have you ever had one of those? If you currently do, keep them. Just yesterday, I was in some sort of trouble and my best friend didn't leave my side. She cried when I did and held me up when I crouched down. It made me realize that you can't let go of a person like that and you wouldn't know what to do with your life without them. I have another best friend, (yes that's you Taima), who I've knew for about 14 years. She's the person who's constantly there with open arms and ears. We see each other every 4 to 5 months, and when we do, we sit on her bed with junk food all over the place and excitement luring in the air waiting for what we have for each other. From her, I completely understood that saying (yes I know, so many sayings in this piece but shut up and get over it) "a person who's older than you in a day, is like he's older than you in a year". One day can change everything. A thought of something will make you learn something, and another will make you think of what you want to do in the future. You can go through one little experience and that would change everything for the rest of your life. So we talk and talk and that just gives me an inner turmoil because I've let it all out and I want to see how I would react to it. If you have something that you keep in and never told anyone about, just know that when you say it out loud, it sounds or looks completely different than what you had in mind. It'll look more obvious and assuring. That's why you shouldn't keep anything in, let it out. Be free.

I wasn't planning on writing this, because I'm in a confused place right now. But it helped. It helped releasing all of these lingering thoughts in my mind and I've never felt more relaxed.

You can feel that I'm about to end this here, but before I go, I want to give you a piece of advice.

If you're a person who's scared to do or experience something, then you're not living at all. When your heart beats, it goes up and down. The same thing goes with your life. You have your ups and downs, your sad and happy times. If you choose to remain where you are and not do anything with your life, it's going to be constant, like your heart beat when you're dead.

I swear I'm a funny person but I just wrote down my feelings, which was sad and whatnot.

Anyways,

Thanks Taima for including me in this, LOVE YOU BOO

-Alaa