Crazy in love
So pure and beautiful
No secrets
No lies
I love them
And they love me

It's divine

Magical
Perfect
Thrilling
Unique
Exploration of the unknown and thrilling discoveries

When it's new, it's magic.

It felt like even if time passed, it was for us and only for us that it seemed to stop.
Felt like nothing and no one, and even less ourselves, could make us doubt, fall, stumble.

What else in the entiere universe could be as beautiful as this ?

What esle could be more pleasant that feeling in heaven by being on earth,
That knowing they love you as much as you do,
Feeling beloved, protected and precious in their arms,
Near their heart,
And knowing they could give you their world and you can do it too.

And so, I fell.

I grabbed their hands with mine
I placed them very, very gently on both of my eyes
In order for me not to see anything anymore

But once their hands were on my eyes, I kept them open.

I could see the glimmers of the light that escaped from the holes of their soft skin
But I chosed to let me sink in this soothing darkness and the comforting warmth of their soul
So I gouged my eyes out,

And ended up closing my eyes.

Didn't see anything anymore.

Blind-folded.

I felt their soul, their personnality, their body and stature through the senses I had left,
These senses I used to keep imagining our utopia, our universe

I didn't want to open my eyes.

I followed them because they were the one who guided me through the dreamy darkness I created,
This darkness they promised me would be the path to our fulfillment and happiness

Utopia was wonderful,
I felt in love with her.

But it was without knowing about anything,
Without witnessing the slightest unhealthy suspicion that would question their innocent behavior,
Without knowing that behing their hands, where my gouged out eyes hid,
They were dancing in another world and a semblance of a double life had been created,
But also without knowing that the moments I lived, protected behind their hands,
Overlapped perfectly with the moments they spent on the other side of the wall.

One day, I opened my eyes.

Light dazzled me,
It gave me a headache.

They took their hands off my eyes,
But it was like when you slip on a banana peel :
It wasn't intentional.
Wasn't calculated.

I regained sight :
I saw everything.

Just like a blind man seeing for the first time,
But bewildered, flabbergasted and speechless by the first thing he sees which is the misery of the world, the bullets, the blood and how mean people actually are around him, as if he couldn't feel it before because his senses were playing tricks on him, making him live some pieces of his own utopia.

Crisis

Hate

Jealousy

Frustration

Betrayal

And it's in the grudge i'm going through today
That I still can't get used to the idea that my heart was crushed by the illusion of a happy and normal routine my lover created in me

Confidence gone
Anger
Sadness
Lies

Despair

It is in sorrow and hate that the darkest parts of me shows off

Overwhelmed
Anguished
Violent
Trouble breathing

Depressed

It is in frustration and anger that I wallow in and let go everything

Fragile
Shaking
Screaming
Realising

Crying

It is in pain and love that I fight an even crazier fight than the idea that they betrayed me seemed to me to be.

• Written with raw emotions and a - still - broken heart •
By Me, Myself & I

------------

The person who makes your heart beat 100 per hour and 24/h a day may be the same one who can make it miss all of its beats and intensity in a single fraction of a second.

But Love is still a beautiful name and
I still love them.