~ Two Years Ago ~

         Looking at the chalkboard, with squinted eyes, I'm trying to figure out what to answer, in the given problems. It's all about arithmetic sequence and arithmetic series.

         Seriously, I've managed to answer these problems correctly, from the very beginning of the lesson - hanggang sa mag-long quiz kami.  . . .nuuuuuuuu.

        It should've been easy - if I studied harder and remembered what process should I use to solve it.

"Mmmm."

       This time, I'm imagining my brain, slowly running out of smart fuel - or 'brain juice', for my term.

      "C'mon, Jane! Math's easy, like Science and English. Kaya - mo 'to! Hmph." "SHHHH! Stop talking and do writing, Jane."

       I smirked and slowly turned to face my seatmate, Ronney, who was focused on writing the formula in a scratch of paper. "Wrong use of grammar, Ronney." "Bakit naman?"

       I correct him. "It should be 'stop talking and focus on writing' - okay?"

      "Hindi naman ngayon English subject, ah." he pouted. "Alam ko. But, I just told you the right senten- -" "SHHHH! Jane, be quiet." This time, Elissa did the hushing.

        Going back to my work, I remained silent and finally remembered what to put in the scratch.

      "Okay - 15 more minutes." "Po?!" ang react ng karamihan kay Ma'am Joann. "Ang bilis naman." ang sabi ni Myth, ang katabi kong lalaki sa aking kanan, na nagpa-panic sa kanyang kabagalan sa pagsagot ng mga tanong.

       Ako naman - well, half-chill and half-worried.

       Ang tatlong-put minuto na ibinigay sa amin ay naging fifteen minutes, dahil sa kakaisip ng pwedeng sagutin at ilagay sa notebook ko.

"Last - Five - Minutes!" "Ma'am!"

       Nasa number three na ako, ngunit malayo pa rin ako sa item number seven. Mabuti naman at naging madali yung number three, hanggang number five. Pero, sa kasamang palad. . .

      "Pass your notebooks forward!" ang hudyat ni Ma'am Joann, na alam kong ngumingiti sa kanyang nakikitang mga mukha sa kanyang harapan. "Noooooo!!"

      Meh. 'Di na ako nag-react. With my hands up, I layed down my notebook open, and pass it infront, with the others.

      "Sayang - 'di ko nasagot ang number seven!" ang sabi sa akin ni Elissa, na mukhang malungkot at nagsisisi. "Ikaw, Jane? Natapos mo ba lahat?" Straight-forward in a monotone voice, I replied, "Nah. I left number six and seven be blank."

      "Grabe! Like you never cared." she said. "I did cared. Yet, there's no time to finish it. Addition to that, I ran out of extra brain juice, for this subject."

         After collecting our notes, she reminds us that we should prepare for tomorrow's new lesson - which is worse than our first lesson: geometric sequence and series.

       Nag-ring na ang bell at oras nang mag-recess. "Kain tayo sa canteen, Elissa! Imma have some re-fill, for the last sub." Agreeing, sabay kaming tumayo sa upuan at kami'y dumeretso sa canteen.

       By the way, I just remembered - I forgot to check those messages again, last night. Instead - nanuod ako ng anime drama, (which results to poor intelligence for today's quiz.)

That time, I was like:

      "Grabe - - Si Shouya talaga. . ", I said, while sniffing and sneezing on my hanky. Talagang pinapatunayan na niyang nagbago na siya at mahal na mahal niya si Shouko, dahil pinatawad na niya ang kanyang sarili, sa kanyang ginawa noong nakaraan.

"Hugot much si Shouya! Wala naman yan sa manga book, ah?"

       Ako naman, dini-dibdib ko yung actions ng mga anime characters - as if tunay silang mga actors and actresses.

      Wala eh - wala akong magagawa diyan. Sadyang astig din ang mga Hapon, pagdating sa voice acting sa drama. Sige! Hugot pa more!

        Nasa climax na ako nang movie. Napa-'hedge, what?!' ako nung sumulpot itong babae at sinaktan niya si Shouko. Pati rin yung mama niya, nagawa pa niyang sampalin - nang dahil lang kay Shouya.

       Napaiyak na lang ako, sa kanilang dramahan. Maka-discriminate ng tao, wagas - - - tapos sasabihin niya, mahal na mahal niya si main male character? May tama pala 'tong babae, eh.

        Habang todo naman ang buhos ng aking luha, dahil sa ewan kong nararamdaman (baka may naranasan din akong ganyan - naah), napatingin ako sa aking phone, na nag-riring sa tabi ko.

       Pinause ko muna yung movie gamit ng remote.

"At sino na naman itong. . .?"

       I stared blankly at my phone, as I read the name of the caller.

Brandon.

       This is rare of him. What does he want? Seeing that there's no point, if I leave it there ringing, I answered.

"Hello, sir. Ano po yun?"

"Dali ka pag-sabado, Cherisher!"

"Hah? Anong ginawa ko na naman?!" Gulat na gulat ako sa kanyang sinabi. Wala naman akong ginagawang masama sa kanya, ah.

        Hindi ko naman siya pinagti-tripan na. Kaya bakit ako mapaparusahan pagdating ng CAT training namin?

Biglang tumawa siya at sinabi, "Nauto! Hahaha."

"Eh? What do you mea. . ." "Walang personal-an pagdating sa CAT - shunga."

Aba! Maka-insulto ito, ah - -

       "Haaii nakooo, bro. For the love of My Melody and Hello Kitty - what exactly do you want?!" I shouted, running a hand through my hair, by annoyance.

"Yes? Galit much, Jane?"

"Well, hedge yeah, I am - 'di, joke lang! So, ano po ba ang kailangan niyo?" I snap back quickly to my proper mannered voice.

      Kung hindi lang siya naging CAT officer, 'di ko talaga siya bibigyan ng respeto ng 50/50.

"Walaaaaa. May demerits ka na sa akin." I frowned. Sabi niya walang personal-an.

"Joke! Hehe. . .nauto ulit." he added.

        "Hmph, ewan. So, ano nga 'yon?" I asked the third time around.

"Oh, nothin' much. Walang magawa eh. Kaya, trip kong tawagan ka."

         Aaay isuuuus! Grabeee naman 'to. Na-istorbo pa niya ako sa walang rason. Kainis.

        I just face-palmed lightly and rolled my eyes.

"Uhuh." I said. "At gagawin mo na naman akong main topic ng usapan?"

"Siyempre! Interesting kaya kapag ikaw yung topic natin." sabi niya nang habang tumatawa. Ulit.

        Hmmph! Ewan ko sa kanya. Wala 'ata itong magawa sa buhay.

             But, dear readers. . .ka-brad ko din yan si Brandon. Kaso lang. . .

         . . .sa lahat ng bro-pals ko, hindi kami magkasundo. Siya yung friend na sadyang may ugali ng isang bully, spoiled pa at mataas ang lipad.

            Well, wala din akong magagawa diyan. 'La epek ang aking mabuting impluwesiya sa kanya, dahil ang kanyang iniisip ay puro kalokohan lamang. Mabuti kung may powers ako. Tiyak na babaguhin ko ang ugali ng unggoy na 'yan. Pero, sabi ng iba, especially yung friends ko na friends niya - mabait naman siya.

            Eh, bakit 'di ko nakikita? Tinatakpan pa rin ba yun ng kanyang maskara ng mga Bulkang Mayon - o kaya ganoon lang talaga siya sa akin?

Uuuh. . .never mind. Why should I care in the first place?

            Sa ngayon, parang ang tingin ko sa kanya, hanggang schoolmate lang. Una sa lahat,  hindi ko na siya kaklase ngayong taon. (Only the last, three years ago. From first section, nag-third hanggang nag-first ulit.)

        Pangalawa, lagi ko na lang siya iniiwasan. At pangatlo, gusto niyang mapag-isa o kaya, hayaan siya na magdesisyon kung saan siya sasama. Total, ang gusto niyang makasama ay ang kanyang sariling brother group.

        Now that I realized something, he called me for the first time, since we haven't talked much or even texted each other.

"Oo nga pala, balita ni TJ - unicorn ka daw." he told me, after a few moments. "At bakit na naman niya sinabi yo- - -oh." Natahimik ako't napa-isip.

Unicorn. TJ.

( °  °  °  !!)

Aaay. Yan lang.

       Napa-face palm ako ulit (sa aking isip), nang matandaan ko yung sinabi ni TJ kanina sa klase.

       Oras yun ng Religion subject namin at nagtanong si Sir Benfrey sa buong klase, kung anong bagay o hayop ang maari naming i-describe sa aming sarili.

      Tumaas ako nang kamay at ako ang kanyang tinawag. Ang sagot ko ay isang 'simpleng unicorn'.

(Sounds 'childish', right?)

      Nang tinanong niya ako, kung anong meron sa isang unicorn, na meron din sa akin, biglang sumagot si TJ, "Hmm. Sungay."

Nagulat na lang ako at napatingin sa kanya.

       Nakita niya ako at napaiwas na lang ng tingin, habang palihim siyang tumatawa ng wagas.

Ay wow! Wow naman.

Grabeng maka-bully si TJ. Haaaiii . . .

"Right. And how's the story?" I asked. "Malamang - maganda! Nakakatawa pa. Hahaha." "Sabi na."

Wawa man ako. Napagtitripan na - - - dahil sa 'simpleng unicorn'.

     "Sa lahat na pwede mong pag-isipan, bakit unicorn pa ang isinagot mo sa tanong ni Sir Benfrey?" Sabay tawa niya. "Eh, anong paki mo? Ikaw ba yung nag-suggest sa'kin? 'Di naman, eh. Choice ko yun."

     Wagas pa rin ang nakakainis niyang tawa, ngunit hinayaan ko na lang siya. Ako kasi yung tipong - mapagpasensya.

      "Mabayad mo, Brandon! Ugmang apon, aabangan kita sa school gate, pag-uli mo." I threatened him.

"Ba't di na lang sa alduw? Total, da pa 'ko kan ginigibo. Ahahaha!!" Angal pa niya.

Aaay, ewan! Walang kuwenta na 'tong usapan.

     "Ewan ko sayo! Inisturbo mo pa 'ko sa aking panunuod." Sigaw ko sa sobrang inis, na inalis ko na sa tapat ng aking tenga ang phone at tatapusin na ang tawag. Bago ko yun magawa, nagsabi pa siya ng, "Awwww - akala ko miss mo na ako." Sa tatlong sigundo, napa-nga-nga at napatulala ako, dahil hindi ako makapaniwala sa kanyang sinabi.

      "Aay! Ano po, Brandon? Ano po yun?!" Napa-react ako.

"Walaaaa. Sabi ko - sasama ka sa parada ng mga bingi bukas."

       Dahil sa kanyang sarkastikong sagot, lalong kumukulo ang aking dugo, sa inis. Bakit pa kasi kinakausap ang unggoy na ito, kung alam ko naman na nagiging walang kwenta na ang usapan?

       Hinayaan ko na siyang tumawa muli ng parang walang bukas at sadya kong pinutol ang tawag. "Che! Manahimik." Sagot ko sa aking phone at ito'y ilinagay sa aking tabi. Bago mag-alas nuebe, natapos ko na ang anime movie at natulog na ako.

- - - - -

       Remembering that yesternight event made me pull-off a face.

      "Mmm. . .na ano ka?" Elissa asked, as we continue walking down the stairs to the underground staircase.

       Staring at me, while my furrowed brows and stretched lips are in display, I snorted, "Don't even ask. I forgot to kill someone, before bedtime."

"H-Haah? Sino?. . ."

       Her words trailed off, when her gaze shifts to a group of girls.

      Pagtingin ko sa kaliwa, si Flora pala yun - kasama sina Dina, Jeralyn, at Paulina. Nasa labas sila ng underground canteen, na mga nakaupo at kumakain ng snacks sa isang table sa hardin. "Hi Flora!" I greeted her, with a smile.

      She managed to turn around and see me. But she just wave a hand and went back on chattering to the girls. 

     "That's it? No 'hi' or 'hello'?" Elissa questioned to herself, as we went back on walking downstairs, leading to the underground canteen.

      "Uhh. . .let's just. .leave her be, Elissa. She seems. . .well. . busy." I told her. Now, that, made me remember her responses, whenever I ask 'how is she', when I have time to ask her. With some moment of silence, we walk into the second line and wait for our turn.

       But, what bothers me now, is the person inside my head, talking to me, like I still had no friggin' clue on what's happening between me and Flora.

        It was shaking my mind (for fiftieth or so) that was suppose to be occupied of the thought of food. "Jane, do you even call that 'busy', if she always talk and hang out with other girls? I've seen her like that, almost everyday. . ." Before I could give a reason to that, that little thing added, ". . since July."

Sighing, I mentally answered my conscience.

     "It's not that I'm mad at her - I'm just. . . giving her space." Seeing myself now in front of the counter, I first ask for my chosen snacks and payed it, and wait for Elissa to get hers.

      Besides, it's how I show my respect, especially when she's quiet and being distant. When she's like that, it meant that she has a problem to deal with and wouldn't want others - even me - to know about it. Or sometimes, she needs to focus on other things, and would want the person to give her the time to do it. So, I leave her be and just wait and see if she's alright.

       The thing is, the situation is different. What I'm doing is allowing her, without telling her what to do or letting her ask for my permission. If she wants to go with other people, besides of me, why should I prevent her? It won't harm me for doing so.

"But are you sure, you are alright with this? "

Bingo.

It figures. It never felt right. Ever.

        The replica of my voice faded, when I felt a small nudge on the shoulder. "You okay?" Elissa's voice rang with pure concern.

"Hmm. .Yeah. Cool, I guess."

        We went out of the canteen, trying to catch up with Flora and the others. However, when we reached the garden, their table was empty.

        Exchanging glances, we just walk to the table beside it and took two plastic seats before we dig in.

Okay. I admit.

          My mind was never been quiet, when the first week of July came in. It kept wondering how she was going and made me speak up to other people, and ask them about her.

         Things totally changed between us. And it's not only me, who notices this change.

         She's also ignoring Elissa and Grace.
     
        "You know what, Elissa?" I said, finally done fishing up for any realization. "Hmm?"

         Eating the last bite of my cheese burger and stood up to throw the plastic to the trash can, I told her, ". . .this is unfair." "Huh? Why?" she asked, while throwing her own trash and I waited for her.

        We walk back upstairs, silent for a few moments.

        I sighed in relief and satisfaction. "That's a nice meal. I think my brain's workin' and pumpin' gas."

        Suddenly, I heard someone clear her throat and made me turn to look at her. "Oh, uhm, right! Where was I?"

       "Ay - Nasa school ka, Jane! Nasa loob ka ng school." she sarcastically replied. "Hmph! Isa ka pa." Aaaaaaand I remembered Brandon. (Nu ba yan? Mag-sama nga sila!!)

                -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

                     ~ N O W ~

      Approaching the big man, who pat my head, I held my grip onto my travel bag's shoulder straps and stopped a few meters away from him.

       Putting a warm smile on my face, I greeted, "It's nice to see you again. . .Big Bro."

       Smiling, he nodded. "Yep. Been awhile."

       I kept silent for a couple of seconds, while feeling happy to see him.

       Kuya looks so cute, until now. Fair skin, cute smile, and umm. . .still have the good height, that I dire to reach. (And he still kinda' kept his babbie chabs - ehhh. . .y'know what I mean.)

"Sooooo, what are you doing here?"

"Oh. Uhmm. . .came to see you. How's life in Legazpi?"

"Well, life is about my senior high - and a new adventure. If I'd compare it to the last, four years of being a junior - I'd say that these were my best years."

        For some reason, my happiness slowly drops down, as I feel the sadness, which brings the sad memories, back into my mind.

        And all those things flood back, when they have sunk into the depths of my brain, before. Now, I could feel the regret amd wished to slap myself. Aaaurgh. .

I'm freakin' out - inside.

       "Man, I should've not done that in the first place. I should've not asked about it, either. I should've controlled myself. . .oooh!!"

"Jane."

       Gasping in surprise, I gaze back at Kuya Darren. "Uhh. . .y-yeah?"

       "Are you. .okay?" he arched a brow, questioningly.

       Sheepishly laughing, like a fool, I said, "Y-Yeah, I'm fine. Pretty fine. I just. .remember. . .something. Ehehe."

        Looking at me with a hint of doubt, he stated, "Don't hide it, Jane."

I gulped.

Okay. I know where this is going. . .and I don't like it.

       "B-But it's nothing. Really." I said, trying to waver.

       Failing to convince him with my white lies, his serious look in his eyes pierced through mine. I went stiff and sweat began to form and run down the side of my face and neck.

       Within moments of staring at each other's eyes, he finally broke the ice.

       "Look, Jane. You don't have to say "you're okay", so you could assure me that there's nothing to worry. And I know, that I did something that made you quiet, for so long."

       He said firmly. Now breathing in an unstable state, I couldn't think of anything, to correctly give him the response to that.

      My heart pounded harder and harder. Because of hurt - and worry.

I don't like this. I don't want to end our friendship, because of the past.

"I'm sorry, Jane."

He apologized ?

       I thought he would scold me or something, just to driven out his anger at me.

       Quite confused, all I could say is, "Uhh. . .what for, Kuya?"

       With his hands in his pants' pockets, he replied in guilt, "For yelling at you, when I'm not supposed to." His eyes avoid any eye contact.

Oh.

But. . .Kuya. . .

       "No. ." I said, which fix his gaze back at me. "Huh? Why?"

        With my pursed lips, I blamed myself. "It was also my fault and. . .yeah. I guess I deserve to be yelled at, for once. ."

         Facing the bad and the worse things made my hands hold onto the cloth of my pants, and tightly clenched them. Or pinch myself so hard, without anyone noticing it.

"No, Jane! I made a mistake. I was angry that time, at someone else,and I was really sorry, that I yelled at you without a reason. .
" he reasoned.

"Yet, I should've not called your number, by that time. Ever." I countered.

     Before I step to tenth grade, I often call Kuya Darren, besides of texting.

     It was a thing that I should've not done in the first place. And that includes chatting him first in Facebook. I discuss about this privately with my Mom, who is open for any conversations and concerns. But, my Mom told me to stop texting or calling him, because guys gets the wrong idea, when girls does that. Always. Even if Daddy-dear doesn't know that, he once told me that I shouldn't be texting to any guy, even my crush, if its not important or school-related.

     Yet, I just couldn't help it. I was too into him, that I can't stop from contacting him, sometimes.

     When it came to the point that I should really stop, move on, yet I hesitated - this happened.

Oh, how stupid I am!
Why, Jane?! Why?!

     I never realized after thinking too much about it, I was welling-up in tears. Then, I began to say 'sorry' to him, and almost cursed myself, under my breathe.

      I was trembling. I've becoming weak, because of this. I want to fall on my knees. There's nothing to cover myself, except with shame.

"Jane."

      His strong hands held my shoulders. As I cried so much, I covered my teary eyes with my hand, and wished for him to leave me alone. Until one hand loosen its grip, and something soft pushed away my palm and wiped my tears. It was Kuya's own handkerchief.

"Jane. . .please stop crying. Please?"

      He tried to persuade me to stop crying, yet it wasn't enough to dry up my teary eyes and calm me down.

      Comforting someone from crying, while standing before the driveway, is not a good idea. Seeing a nearby bench, just right behind him (next to the little guard house), he told me that he'll bring me there and we sat down.

      He takes my travel bag from my shoulders (which is kinda' heavy, by the way) and puts it before my feet, so I could relax my back.

I kept on crying and saying my apologies again, while he listens and forgives me.

       We never knew that this would happen in the first place. If only one of his best pals didn't betrayed him, after betting him to lose in a small fight, he wouldn't let out his anger so much and wouldn't yell at me. On the other hand, I should've not called him and disobeyed my parents again.

        It took a long while before I could finally stop and had no more tears to shed. We remained silent, as we take some breathes and relax ourselves, after all the drama.

"I. . ." Before I could continue, he cuts me off and ends it. "Jane, I forgive you. And I'm sorry for doing that to you."

Then, silence covered the atmosphere. Again.

       I fish out for my phone and checked the time. "It's 4:25. I should get a tricy, now." Those guys might be worrying about me, for coming home late.

       Just as I leave with my bag, on my back and was about to thank Big Bro for his concern and comfort, he suggests, "How about I'll ride you home?"

       I stare. "I got my real driver's license. And I have to do something for you, at least, before we part." he added.

      I thought cheering me up and forgiving me was enough, to pay off the days he didn't spoke to me.

      I'm glad that we're okay now. All problems are cleared from the list. So, I gave him the chance.

              ~     ~~   ~~     ~

"I'm here."

"Jane!!"

        My friends greeted me infront of the gates, as I ride off Kuya's motorbike and handed him his extra helmet back. When they saw his presence, they curiously stare at both of us. "Bros - this is Kuya Darren. Friend and Senior since third year." Just by looking at their cheeky, baffoon faces, I know what's in their heads. "Don't." I glared at them, as I warned them. They just stiffle a laugh.

Whatever.

      "Hi, Ate! O. . .Kuya Darren!" Angelo came along and greeted me and his also 'big bro'.

      " 'Sup, dude? Well, well. . .You've grown." Kuya Darren said, as he looks at him, amazed to see the good changes (including his 'manly' voice). 

      "Glad that you notice, Kuya. And I have good news." he said with pride.

"Uhuh. Like what is it?" he asked.

With his hand gestures that he's measuring his height to his tall friend, he smirked, "I'm gonna reach your height. . .very soon."
   

      Big Bro laughed in amusement and said, "Hehe. You need a few more inches. . .probably two and half, before you reach me."

"Heh. That won't be a big deal!" my lil' bro accepts his challenge, determined to be a man with 'coolness', as his title. By the way, I could see some fine biceps. Woah. .

So Angelo goes to gym, huh? I'm quite impressed.

I mean, at first, I kinda' doubt that he's going to lose some flabs - or weight, during summer. And by seeing him now, proves me wrong. Oh, I should've been supportive or have a positive mind, that time.

       Haii. . .it was like yesterday, when he entered highschool, as a twelve-year-old freshmen, whose height is just below my eyebrows. Now, he is going to be fifteen, by November 12. I'm lucky that my young brother is growing into a teenage guy, with the looks and wits from our old man and the wise and loving attitude from our beloved mom.

       "Okay, guys! Let's get inside and meet with the others." I said, as I entered the gates and invited everyone. Before me and my reunited friends proceed inside, Kuya was about to leave, until Angelo invites him to join in the party. He actually looks at me for a second, then back to him and thinks about it.

With a sigh and a little nod, he agrees. He parks his bike infront of our close garage and followed.

        I got in first, since it's a long day and met the other guests, who surprised me with their 'welcome back' gifts and greetings.

"Welcome back, Jane!!"

Most especially from my mom, dad and my two, supportive cousins, Hailey and Kuya Frank.

- - See Next Chapter - -