As I've been cataloging these oddities, it has occurred to me that I have yet to turn the microscope on the oddity with which I am most intimately familiar: myself.

(picture of Ford, but his face is crossed out with red)

If I succeed in publishing my theory, I am bound to become something of a public figure, so, for the sake of historical record, I should perhaps touch on the subject: Who am I?

To put it simply, I am strange. I was born strange, I am attracted to the strange; and the strange has always been attracted to me. 

Where I grew up, we were encouraged to follow the rules and fit the mould. I recall finding a shrunken head in the family pawnshop & bringing it to show and tell. Every other student brought a football, a football trophy, or a book on football. All of these objects were thrown at me as I gave my report. If my brother hadn't shielded me and punched one of the other kids in the nose, I might have spent the rest of the year in the hospital!

[BIRTHDAY JUNE FIFTEENTH
DEATHDAY SOONER THAN YOU THINK]- Bill's code

...

[LITTLE CATHY WHAT A DREAM
HELD HER HAND AND MADE HER SCREAM]- Bill's code

(doodle of a shrunken head)

When I was growing up, nothing I ever did was right. My grades were too high, and my social skills were too low. Worst of all, I was born with a rare birth defect: six fingers on each hand. Although my family tried to convince me that this made me special (and it did help with shadow puppets), I was mocked by classmates and shunned by girls. I would hide in the library, poring over books about the supernatural and searching for other freaks of the world like me.

(picture of an  x-ray of Ford's hand)

I still recall reading about the Bermuda triangle as a child. The thought of a place where you could just disappear into the unknown fascinated me. Perhaps it was luck, perhaps it was destiny, but I have since found my very own Bermuda Triangle: Gravity Falls, the place where I fit in. It is here I will find my grand theory and maybe find myself in the process.