a/n woops lmao haven't wrote for almost a month, help. i'm thinking about deleting this story and maybe doing a funny kik one. cuz this is too much for me. but imma do a chapter and see how it goes. i've been watching alot of shane dawson recently so i say 'ew' and 'mood' or 'me' alot smh. i've started this on the 25th Oct so lets see how long it takes to finish. (probably like 3 years, smh smh smh.) tbh i got the highest GCSE on Grammar, punctuation and spelling but it doesn't look like it.

Trigger Warning : Mentions of abuse, self- harm

Tyler's POV.

 I wake up before my alarm and stare at the ceiling. I've got ten minutes left. I'm not doing well. That horrible man my mother has met . he hates me. I trace down my arm and sob. My brothers are never here. The other day i had to lie to my mother and say i'd tripped over because i had a black eye, when in reality, he'd punched me for tripping over. said it's 'dumb and i need to get a life, you can't be tripping over all the time, wimp' so i'm not okay.

I've been on the edge of doing it-  cutting myself- for quite some while now. but i need to stay strong. which he isnt helping.  i want to give up. "you might as well."  "no-" My alarm sounds, postponing my violent thoughts, so i fragilely get out of bed. "Ew, you're so fat that you can't even get out of bed easily."  i better get in the shower, then. As i walk into the corridor, Chris purposely walks into me and gives me a daunting dirty look."See? He clearly hates you. Like everyone else."

I shakily step into the shower and,once again, my eyes flit towards the razor. "Do it. Do it. Doitdoitdoit, DO IT!" I stifle a large sob a grab it, slice it ever so lightly across my wrist and whimper with the pain. "Oh, you pathetic child. That's light. You need it deeper than that, fatty."

i don't have to listen to him

but he makes me

i stumble out of the shower and land on the bed. i can't wear my mcr tank top, so i pull on a plain black jumper with some skinny black jeans and my plain vans. I walk down the stairs carefully, the banisters sticking into my ribs. (a/n i know that sounds weird but like its just a thin stair case)  i fall feebly and sit at the table. My mother says " C'mon, you gotta eat." and pushes a plate of  food towards me . "Revolting, you're not gonna eat that, are you?" Fatty."

"Okay, i'll try, mum" and smile at her weakly.

I take a few bites. Ew,ew,ew,ew,ew. "Fatty." I hear my phone  buzz and my mother looks at me, urging me to eat more. "Sorry, mum i gotta take this." and shuffle away from the table. Oh, my. It's Josh. I forgot, I'm meant to go his after school. I gotta admit, i am pretty excited. I answer and say very quitely, almost a whisper, " hello?"

"Oh, hi, tyjo."

tyjo? oh, ok.

"Oh, that's a cool nickname, Jish."

i giggle to myself.

"Haha, you still coming over?"

"If you want me too."

"Of course, Tyjo."

"okay. see you at school."

"Bye."

I wonder if he can hear a smile?

aw yeah bois we hit 50 reads, im so grateful and agaIN I LOVE THIS CHAPTER, the end bit is so cute, so i was thinking maybe josh could be a furry and when Ty walks in he has a fursuit on- jk.

my mind en fuego

love y'all- a xx