Chapter 18- Face Your Fears


The pounding of her heart hastened like a pair of horses cracked by the whip.

Thump...thump thump...thump thump thump

She thought this was possibly the worst idea ever to be conceived. Rubbing her sweating palms against the fabric of her pale pink day dress, she tightly closed her eyes as she entered the tiny building. If she stretched out her arms, she could easily touch both sides. Rays of sunlight drifted in from cracks between the old wood boards illuminating an array of rusty tools and tattered ropes.

"...Ya for certain a' this m'lady?" asked the gruff gardener called Guthries.

"No. But we best get on with it lest I miss the evening meal or renounce this crazy scheme altogether," she urged on a shaky breath. "My apologies, but I must ask again. You are certain we are alone out here?"

"Tis' only me, and yer two friends out 'ere, M'lady. But, that isn't countin' yer old hound."

They were some distance from Loewick House, but she still felt ridiculous. And, the thought of any other witnesses unsettled her already heightened senses. She knew Henry and Constance would be waiting right outside the rickety door. Somehow that knowledge brought zero comfort.

Henry had immediately sought out his sister to assist in the first item on Josephine's list. Conquering fear of roosters. It had taken a bit of convincing to pry Constance away from Sir Cartwright, but eventually she conceded.  The thought of Josephine screaming in undignified terror was ultimately something Constance did not want to miss. So, after swearing Sir  Cartwright to secrecy, she had followed Henry and Josephine outside to a scary old shed which Josephine proceeded to walk into while speaking with a gardener.

"I'll give ya the key Mr. Whitmore. But I ain't wantin' to be 'ere, in case someone else comes 'round," Guthrie's explained.

They all agreed it was best for him to leave the key and go. Guthrie's walked away but not before setting down a wooden crate housing the largest rooster Josephine had ever seen.

Josephine watched in horror as the giant bird violently flapped his wings sending several feathers to flight. She couldn't help but wonder if the anticipation might be worse than the reality.

"Josephine, you are looking white as snow," Constance observed, concerned for her friend. "Must I say again how foolish I find this endeavor? I doubt it will work, and you are likely to worsen your fear."

"Oh hold your tongue, ye of little faith," Henry scolded his sister, and placed his hands upon Josephine's shoulders. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course," Josephine assured.

But I do not trust roosters...sneaky creatures

"The only way to conquer your fear is by facing it eye to eye. Alright, so once I put him in there with you, I am going to lock the door. And I promise the rooster cannot hurt you. But I will not open the door regardless of your protests. If I open the door, it will defeat the purpose. Understood?"

Josephine took a deep, preparing breath. "Understood. Now let us get on with it."

Josephine reentered the small building, this time more nervous than the last. Her heart began beating wildly again, feeling each thump inside her chest. Constance eyed her terrified friend with honest empathy. Although not afraid herself, she knew Josephine's fear was genuine.

"See you on the other side Miss Yorke," Henry called out before tossing the flapping rooster inside and quickly locking the door.

Not but a second later and Josephine was in a full panic. In the tight quarters, there was no escaping the ornery rooster. And her nervousness only served to agitate the already provoked animal.

"Let me out! Let me out!" Josephine shouted, banging on the door. "I have changed my mind! This was a terrible, terrible idea!!"

Henry stood his ground as Constance began to walk back toward Loewick house, fuming, "I cannot bear to watch this! You two are insane and are both on your own! I am returning to the house."

Still ignoring Josephine's protests, Henry called back after his sister, "We did not need your assistance anyhow!"

With Constance now gone, Henry tried to calm a panicked Josephine, easing, "Come now, it cannot be so bad. If you stop all your screeching, you and Mr. Rooster might actually become friends."

Henry was so distracted by Josephine's cries he barely heard the sounds of pounding hooves before an irate looking Tennyson swiftly dismounted and stalked toward Henry.

Henry began to hold up his hands and protest, "Before you get angry, allow me to exp..."

Tennyson's need to protect Miss Yorke clouded all reason and self-control. One swift punch to the jaw and Henry was out cold. Tennyson proceeded to tear the key from his limp hand, all while Josephine's fists beat the door, pleading, "Please Henry, please!! I beg you! Let me out!"

The sound of the door being unlocked was enough to make Josephine practically leap from from her skin, and leap she did! Right into the arms of her savior...

Josephine tightly wound her arms about Tennyson's neck, seeking the nearest protection from the violent flapping beast!

"Shhhh..." Tennyson soothed, instinctively wrapping his own arms around her. "I have you. I promise I will never let anyone hurt you. Shhh..."

Tennyson's anger boiled at what he assumed was Mr. Whitmore's attempt at a practical joke. Locking Josephine in with something she is clearly terrified of? How childish and cruel he thought. In that moment, Tennyson knew he meant exactly what he said. He would never allow anyone to hurt her.

Josephine calmed at Tennyson's reassuring words. "Forgive me, this...this entire idea was stupid, so very stupid," she apologized, pressing her cheek to his chest. "I only wanted a distraction from..."

"What idea? Distraction from what?" Tennyson softly asked, still holding her tight.

She paused finally realizing it was only her and Tennyson with no Henry in sight. "Where is Henry?" she asked, slightly pulling back and glancing about, not bothering to answer Tennyson's questions.

Josephine wasn't prepared for the sight of Henry flat on his back and unconscious. She gasped, throwing her hand over her mouth. "What have you done to him?!"

"He will be fine, with the exception of a headache and sore jaw," Tennyson explained. "Perhaps Mr. Whitmore will have learned his lesson. What was he thinking locking you in there?"

"I told him to!"

Tennyson was thoroughly confused. He couldn't begin to guess the explanation behind what had just transpired. "You told him to? Explain yourself before I am tempted to throttle you like a nursery room occupant."

The comfort of Tennyson's presence had quickly turned to discomfort and embarrassment. How could she explain the situation without sounding ridiculous? Realizing it was futile, and Tennyson would be angry either way, Josephine settled on the truth.

"...and all this for what?!" Tennyson was shouting in censure. "To conquer some silly fear of chickens?!"

"Not chickens. Roosters, actually," Josephine corrected, refusing to match his irritation.

He threw up his hands in frustration. "I thought you were truly in distress! I punched Whitmore for heaven's sake!"

"That is your own fault," she bit back. "Had you allowed Henry to explain the situation...no, better yet...why did you even care that I was in distress? Hmm? Why? Why care, when you yourself said you have no affectionate feelings towards me?! I could be on my deathbed and
you should not spare me a second glance!"

Josephine knew how dramatic she sounded, but couldn't stop the words from flowing. She was a freshly wounded animal, scared, hurting, and lashing out at anything within arm's reach.

Tennyson fisted his hands on each hip, looking heavenward, trying to suppress his own tongue. The sound of Henry beginning to stir saved Tennyson from having to reply.

Josephine ran over and knelt beside Mr. Whitmore, apologizing, "I am so sorry Henry, you poor thing. Are you alright?"

Henry mumbled, stretching his aching jaw, "Should be...You have a fierce right hook Tennyson and not a speck of patience."

"And the pair of you have not a whit of sense!" he growled, before storming off to mount his horse and ride back to Loewick.

"Explain to me again how you fell in love with that man? Because I am beginning to question your sanity."

Josephine helped Henry to his feet. "If only I could explain it. I am undoubtedly insane. And unfortunately, the only things our adventure has achieved is your jaw being bruised, I am still afraid of roosters, and my feelings toward Tennyson apparently remain the same."

"Let us not give up just yet," Henry encouraged. "You were one 'please, Henry, let me out!' away from conquering your fear. I am sure of it! And, I am confident there will be a beautiful friendship between you and Mr. Rooster in the future."

"We will see." Josephine smiled at his optimism and envied Henry.

She felt anything but optimistic, losing any desire to complete her most recent list. This country party was turning out much differently than expected. She had hoped to come to Loewick house and find a husband. But all she had found was disappointment.

Josephine just wanted to be back home. She had been mortified after Tennyson's kiss, and now with the embarrassment of the afternoon, she couldn't stomach facing him again. Josephine knew that Lord and Lady Cavender would not leave Loewick until after the Rivingdale's ball. Josephine simply needed to stay out of trouble until then.

No more lists, no more schemes.

She needed to be the quiet demure lady that her father raised her to be.

"What deceptive tale shall we offer when asked why my jaw is black and blue?" Henry sought.

"Remember when Constance threw that rock at your eye and it was swollen shut for two days?"

"I usually support blaming my sister, but..."

Henry and Josephine walked back to Loewick House fabricating respectable excuses along the way.

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