Chapter Twenty-Two // {jordan's pov}

A/N: some of the speech in this chapter is taken from the episode 8 of season 4, 'Too Far Gone.'

›

Daryl and I rushed outside the prison, despite almost fainting earlier, I didn't care. We figured that we'll hopefully bump into someone we know. As soon as I stepped out, the light blinded me and it me took a few blinks to adjust to it.

I scanned the prison yard and my gaze stopped at Rick's figure.

He was talking to a man on the other side of the fence.

A man with a tank!

Tank? I gasped, making Daryl grab my shoulder. It was his attempt of telling me that it'll be okay.

"Jordan, c'mon, we've gotta get ready if thangs go wrong," he whispered in my ear.

"Wrong?" I questioned frowning. Daryl shook his head, dismissing the subject. I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I suddenly felt anxious, completely forgetting about the pain in my shoulder.

"What the fuck!" I whisper-yelled after him. He didn't turn to explain anything to me. He grabbed a container full of guns and he handed one to everyone who was here.

I looked back down to this strange man and there was now two of them.

I could see clear as day who it was. Brodie. I visibly shuddered.

Daryl handed me a rifle, I didn't check what type because I was too focused on Rick who was currently pointing at someone near the tank. The girl who Rick was pointing at looked like she didn't want to be here.

Brodie started yelling up at us all, "Jords, come on down here, we can chat like we used to!"

I felt a hand appear on my shoulder sending a slight jab of pain to it.

"Rick won't like ye goin' down there with the Governor 'nd all," Daryl's voice spoke from behind me. So the other man is called the Governor? Who the fuck would call someone the Governor? I sighed and slung the rifle onto my shoulder. I ignored Daryl's statement. He was right though.

I took off towards the gate, opening it and striding over to Rick and the intruders. Rick's piercing blue eyes glared at me. I knew he hated me being down here.

I stood beside Rick, looking at this Governor dude and Brodie with zero emotion. Blank face, chin up, shoulders back. No emotion. The Governor had a typical poker facer while Brodie was smirking and looking me up and down.

"Where'd I shoot you?" he asked, certainly proud of himself. I felt Rick tense beside me.

"Not in the head, clearly. You should work on your aim. Anyway, why are y'all here?" I questioned, glancing over every single one the people with them. Many looked scared while a few looked determined. They were the ones who scared me.

The Governor whispered something to Brodie, making him nod. He jumped off of the tank and walked over a car, opening the door.

Out stepped two of our own.

Hershel and Michonne.

I let out a shaky breath. This changed everything. Brodie and another man made them kneel in front of the tank. Brodie stood on Michonne's left while the Governor was on Hershel's right.

"We want the prison," the Governor announced, loud enough for the others to hear. I could hear a lot of mumbling and gasps from behind me.

"That's not going to happen," Rick spoke up from beside me.

"You have until sundown, leave or your little 'council members' aren't gonna be around for much longer," the Governor informed. I could almost feel the anger radiating off of Rick.

"What we want is what you got. Period. Time for you to leave, asshole," a man from behind the machine gun yelled out. I narrowed my eyes at him. 

"Look, I've fought him before. And after, we took in his old friends. They've become leaders in what we have here. Now you put down your weapons, walk through those gates... you're one of us. We let go of all of it, and nobody dies. Everyone who's alive right now. Everyone's who's made it this far. We've all done the worst kinds of things just to stay alive. But we can still come back. We're not too far gone. We get to come back. I know that we all can change." Rick tried to convince everyone, making Hershel smile proudly. 

I glanced over at the Governor and Brodie nervously but it was already too late to do anything.

It seemed as if everything started going in slow motion.

"Liar."

The Governor already had Michonne's katana stuck halfway into Hershel's neck, partly decapitating him. I raised a hand to mouth, trying to not start crying. I was in shock.

A bunch of screams erupted from behind us and all I could think of was Maggie and Beth. A war had begun. I could hear shooting, Rick was shooting. Our people were shooting. They were shooting at us. Tears ran down my face as Rick pulled me behind the overturned bus. He put his hands on my shoulders.

"Jords, I want you to find Judith and Carl. Don't wait for me. Keep them safe, do you hear me?" Rick said slightly rushed. I nodded frantically, sobbing. Rick shoved a knife into my hands.

"I love you, now go!" he yelled, pushing me towards the prison.

I turned and started running up to the prison, dodging the bullets from the intruders.

I whispered to myself, "I love you too..."

I ducked behind the guard tower, catching my breath and trying to stop the tears. All I could hear was gunshots and screaming. I glanced behind the guard tower and saw that the tank had already pushed through the prison fences. 

The prison was now useless to everyone, what an idiot. Adrenaline was running through my veins, making me forget the horrible incident from just a few minutes ago.

I turned back around and made a run for where I saw Carl last. I took out my bronze desert eagle out of my holster and held it as I made my way through the prison.

"Carl?" I screamed. I tried listening for a reply but I couldn't hear anything over the gunshots and screaming. It was like straight out of a horror movie. The screams of pain and agony. I tried to stay focus on the task at hand.

I ran to the bus that we had ready for if anything happened and we had to evacuate. Passengers such as the children and the elderly were getting on. Maggie and Beth were at the door of the bus.

"Maggie!" I yelled. Her eyes flickered up to mine, she seemed relieved. Considering her father just got killed, she didn't look all that bad and neither did Beth.

"Jordan," she sighed as she quickly hugged me.

"Are you getting on the bus?" Beth asked. I shook my head.

"Seen Carl or Judith?" I questioned, glancing frantically over the passengers, but I didn't see the familiar sheriff's hat.

"I haven't, he's probably with Daryl. That's where he was before and Judith, I don't know," Beth said while helping a woman on the emergency bus. I nodded a quick goodbye and ran into the gunfire again.

I was determined to find both Carl and Judith. My eyes rapidly searched the area, finding a few of the intruders.

I didn't hesitate to shoot both of them square in the head. I was still accurate despite my bad shoulder. I carried on running through the area, I could hear the bus leaving and the gun shots had quietened. There weren't many people left.

"Carl!" I screamed, running behind the tank. I ran into someone, making us both fall. I was quick to point my gun on them.

The person, a second later or two, pointed theirs at me. His face lifted to look at me and I saw familiar blue eyes.

"Carl," I sighed happily. He dropped his gun. He didn't seem all that happy but he gave me a small smile.

I stood up, brushing the dirt off of my jeans. I offered a hand to Carl and he took it, pulling himself up.

The only noise now was the groaning of walkers. They were closing in on us. I assumed everyone had ran or died.

"We need to find Judith -- your Dad told me to," I informed. Carl nodded and we made out quickly to where some of the kids were last seen.

A few walkers were coming towards us. A female with what would've once be beautiful blonde hair, staggered towards me. I grabbed it but the hair and shoved the knife that Rick gave me into it's head. The walker gurgled and crumpled to the ground, taking my knife with it. I was exhausted. I leaned over, stepping on the walker's chest and pulled out the knife. I stumbled back a little, looking at Carl who was looking at an object a little further away.

I stepped a few steps forward to get closer.

A loud sob escaped my lips before I started sprinting to her baby carrier. I silently prayed that she was there, alive and happy.

I slowed into a walking pace and peered into the carrier. I screamed loudly and automatically started crying.

It was empty.

But what really bothered me, was that there was blood in it.

She's gone... I failed Rick. I told him I'd keep her safe and I didn't.

I grabbed my gun and shot randomly at walkers. I was yelling as I did.

"Jordan, stop!" Carl screamed at me, pulling the gun away from me.

"She's fucking gone and it's all my fault!" I yelled out to nobody in particular, looking at the carrier.

It's all my fault.

"Jords? Carl?" a familiar voice called from behind us. Carl turned before me and yelled out his name, confirming my suspicions. I didn't want to look at him. He'll hate me.

I heard Rick gasp behind me. He saw it. He knows.

I turned slightly and saw that he was looking directly at it. Tears rolled down his face.

It's all my fault.

"Lets go," Rick declared softly acting as if nothing happened. Carl followed his dad straight away, while I lingered behind a little longer. I stared at the carrier.

If I had gotten here a little faster, I could've saved her...

"Jordan!" Carl called out to me, interrupting my thoughts. I started following them to who knows where.

It's all my fault...

›››‹‹‹

We arrived at a little house. I overheard Rick telling Carl that we'll be here a little while and then we'll go find our family. I stood off to the side, awkwardly.

Or what's left of our family, I guess.

I walked over to couch and sat down, staring aimlessly at the wall. Rick was somewhere and I knew Carl was upstairs. Rick hasn't really spoken to either of us.

I understand why he isn't speaking to me but, Carl? I have no idea.

"Jords," Rick spoke up from somewhere behind me. I stopped staring at the wall and turned towards him.

"Are you okay?" he asked cautiously. His eyes glimmered with concern. I scoffed, making him raise an eyebrow.

"I should be asking you that," I commented with a frown. He sighed, making his way over to me. He sat down next to me on the couch. I stared at the wall again. He placed his hand on my thigh and rubbed small circles on it.

Tears fell, uncontrollably.

"Hey, it's okay, it's over now," he assured, making me turn to him. I stared into his blue eyes.

I cracked and let out a loud sob.

"It's all my fault," I repeated what the little voice in my head kept saying. Rick furrowed his eyebrows.

"How could it ever be your fault, love?" he sighed, his eyes were glassy now.

"I didn't get there fast enough. I could've saved her!" I cried, leaning into him. His arms wrapped around me tightly.

"Shhh, it's not your fault, alright? No one blames you. No one..." he said, kissing the top of my head. How could he be so composed? 

No one, but me.

‹