Chapter Thirty // {jordan's pov}

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I was quietly singing to Judith who was in a crate next to me. I was trying to help her fall to sleep while eavesdropping on Abraham and Rick's conversation. Most of our group were standing around them while Carl, Maggie and few others were checking the place out. Ever since I had sat down, I hadn't been feeling that good. It's like just before you get sick, you start to feel like shit.

"We found a short bus out back. It don't run, but I bet we could fix that in less than a day or two. Father here says he doesn't want it. Looks like we found ourselves some transport. You understand what's at stake here, right?" Abraham said in a rather 'leader-like' way to Rick. I scoffed, making him glance at me with a raised eyebrow before looking back to Rick.

"Yes, I do," Rick replied shortly, obviously thinking over what he was saying.

"We can take a breath here," Michonne added, clearly being against the idea of leaving right away. I could feel a headache forming from all the thinking and lack of sleep.

"We take a breath, we slow down, shit inevitably goes down," Abraham argued back. He did have a point but I needed a break otherwise I'd just burn out. Especially knowing that I'm not feeling all that great right now.

"We need supplies no matter what we do next," Glenn spoke up, backing Michonne up.

"That's right, we need food, water, ammunition..." Rick said, agreeing with what they were saying. Speaking of food, my stomach grumbled loudly for like the 1,000th time today. I was literally starving. Daryl hasn't been able to find many animals to hunt for food, causing us to have to scavenge for nuts and berries. There was never enough to actually fill me up though. I felt like I was hungrier more than usual. Could be due to not being used to that feeling of starvation.

"One way or another, we're doing what Rick does, we can't split up again. We'll just become weaker in smaller groups," Glenn said, basically finalising his decision on the matter. I was for sure doing that.

"What he said," Tara said, nodding in agreement. 

"We want to roll with you, but what she said," Bob put in. I stood up from my seat, instantly feeling slightly dizzy. I stumbled forward.

"Shit, Jords," Rick said while pushing past Abraham and Glenn to get over to me. He put his hands on my shoulders, trying to steady me. While helping me sit back down, he called Gabriel over.

"How'd you survive here for so long? Where did your supplies come from?" Rick questioned Gabriel, still holding on to me. Concern was written all over his face as he looked over me.

"I'm okay, just hungry," I whispered to Rick. He sighed sadly.

"Our annual canned food drive. Things fell apart right after we finished it. It was just me. The food lasted a long time and then I started scavenging. I've cleaned out every place nearby. Except for one," the priest answered.

"What kept you from it?" Rick asked, standing up to his full height, letting go of me.

"It's overrun, a dozen or so walkers," he replied nervously. I narrowed my eyes at him. Why is he so nervous?

"We can handle that easily." I could tell that Rick's mood was lifted, knowing that we can get a lot of food from this place. Much needed food.

"Bob and I will go with you," Sasha announced, stepping forward with Bob closely by her side.

"I'll come too!" I added, attempting to stand up but Rick gently pushed me back, maybe I won't be coming then.

"No," Rick and Daryl said in unision. I glared at them both, huffing angrily.

"I'll draw you a map," Gabriel suggested in a rush, walking off to find paper.

"You don't need to. You're coming with us," Rick stated with no room to argue.

"I'm not gonna be of any help! You saw me! I'm no good around those things," he explained, slightly panicked by the situation. I kind of felt bad for the guy, considering he was a complete coward and had no idea on how to deal with walkers. 

Rick rubbed his beard and walked off to find Carl. I watched as they conversed for awhile. It was a fairly serious conversation.

Beth crouched down next to me, making me turn my body towards her.

"How are you feeling?" the blonde asked.

"Crap. Absolutely crap. My head is pounding," I explained, putting my head in my hands. All the emotions from the past week were bottled up inside and now they felt like they were all going to make me explode.

"I've asked around for pain killers and no one seems to have any," she replied, sighing.

"I just want to sleep -- properly, not with one eye open all the time. I actually need to rest. I'm sick of all the bad people out there.. I just want to rest for once, even for an hour. I honestly feel sick," I confessed, tears falling down my cheeks.

"I know what you mean. Just hang in there. Rick's coming over. I'll talk to you later, alright?" Beth gave me a reassuring smile before walking back over to Maggie. My eyes wandered over to Rick who was now giving me a concerned look, like earlier. He signalled me to scoot over on the chair, to make room for him. He sat down next to me instantly pulling me into him. His arms wrapped around my body. 

Due to not eating a normal portion, I had slimmed out a lot. I used to have what people called 'curves in all the right places.' I didn't really have that anymore.

"We're going to get you some food. I'll find you some medication too, alright, love? I love you and I want you to rest up while we're gone," Rick whispered to me. A small smile formed on my face.

"I love you too, Rick," I snuggled into him more, knowing he was leaving soon.

"I need to talk to you about something when we get back. Keep Judith and Carl safe for me," he added. I could tell that Rick was cautious about leaving Carl, Judith and I behind. We're usually all together. Especially after those people who Daryl was with. I mentally shuddered at the thought.

"You don't even have to ask," I replied. He pulled away from me with a smile on his face. My face mirroring his.

I watched as Rick stood up, straightening his clothes. He gave me a sad smile before walking to the door where everyone was. I stood up rather quickly, making my head spin. I steadied myself by holding onto the chair. I had to blink a few times in order to get my vision to become clear. 

Once it cleared, I could see the group was walking down the stairs, leaving. Since the time when the man had touched me, Rick avoided kissing me, having sex or basically anything intimate. I trust him. Fully trust him. Even after the sexual assault, I trust him. I needed him to know that.

"Rick!" I yelled out while running through the church and down the stairs.

The blue-eyed officer turned around, looking at me with panic. I ran up to him, jumping and wrapping my arms around him.

He seemed stunned but he held me.

"What are you doing?" he asked, smirking at me.

"This."

I crashed my lips to his and he immediately kissed back. It felt like the first time we kissed all over again. I melted into the kiss and if we were alone, it would've led to something. It was full of love, loyalty and trust. 

I pulled away, leaning my forehead on his.

"Stay safe, please," I whispered.

"You don't even have to ask," he repeated what I had said earlier. I dropped down from his hold, a sad smile evident on his lips.

"Alright, let's go," he informed everyone, turning back around.

I stood and watched as they started walking to this overrun store.

Daryl walked up to stand next to me, "I'm goin' to write a book called 'A Damn Romance Novel, Starrin' Rick Grimes 'nd Jordan Taylor!"

I turned to him, glaring. Daryl smirked but it was soon wiped off of his face when I started chanting, "Daryl has a crush! Daryl has a crush! Daryl has a crush!"

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