Chapter Forty-Two // {jordan's pov}

› {a week later}

Rick grunted as the car slowed to a stop. I turned and raised an eyebrow. He glanced over to me with a frown.

"Knew we gonna run out of gas," he rubbed his temples briefly before stepped out of the car. I sighed while picking up my backpack that contained a few cans of food and some water. I pushed open the car door and stepped out into the fresh air. It was boiling hot. I scrunched up my eyebrows and looked to Carl who was waiting for me.

"Why does it have to be so hot?" I complained to Rick's son. He cracked a smile and chuckled.

"At least it isn't snowing, that would make life hell," he commented. I nodded in agreement.

"Good point."

We strode over to the rest of the group who were talking about finding gas and staying the night here. I mentally rolled my eyes. We were in the middle of nowhere. Literally. We were travelling up on the side road to pass these rolled over cars. We weren't even far from Washington DC and closer we got, more nervous I got. I didn't particularly want the world to go back to normal. I didn't fit in before, why would I fit in if everything went to the way it was. 

"Jordan? Coming with?" Rick's voice startled me out of my thoughts, he was with Daryl. I guess we were going hunting. I nodded and trudged over to them.

"Why so down?" Rick questioned as I neared him and Daryl. I shrugged.

"I don't think I want the world to go back to normal. I don't want Eugene to fix it," I answered, looking away slightly. He probably thinks I've gone insane.

"I get what ye mean," Daryl mumbled with a nod. I gave him a short smile before looking over to Rick. He was looking towards the ground.

"To go from one world where you don't fit in and then get thrown into this world where you actually have to try and survive and then for it to all go back to normal? I can't do that," I explained. Rick looked up at me with an unreadable expression.

"Then why are you wearing your uniform?" he asked harshly. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. I didn't know nor did I know why he was pissed off.

"Do you have a death wish?" he asked again, in the same tone.

"No, I-"

"You can be safe in the world before, not in this walker infested one," he snapped. He glared at me.

"You can be safe here! We were at the prison for awhile. We just have to find a place again!" I answered. I wish he never asked.

"No -- that's where you are wrong. You're never safe in this world. I doubt that you could survive without this group and without me," he carried on. I frowned at him angrily. He had no faith in me whatsoever.

I glanced to Daryl for help but his stare didn't move up from the ground.

"What the fuck are you on about? Do you not have any faith in me? I can survive perfectly fine, I did before I met you," I said in a confident manner.

"If you're so sure you can, go then. Go try and survive while we go to Washington and bring the world back!" Rick turned his back to me. Even Daryl looked up in surprise at what he just said.

"Rick," Daryl spoke.

"You're being ridiculous! I don't have to go prove myself to you. Especially to you..." I commented.

"Go, Jordan," he snapped, turning back to me, pointing back to camp.

"Rick... Don't," I mumbled a few stray tears falling from my eyes.

"Go."

I gulped back a sob and stormed back to the road where our cars were. I held a hand up to my mouth, stopping myself from full of crying. I could hear arguing from behind me as I ran from them.

"Jordan?" Beth called, being the first one to notice me. I pushed her away from me lightly, to make sure I don't hurt her. 

I popped the boot of our car and pulled out my bow and quiver full of arrows. I slammed the car boot shut. I could feel the tears running down my cheeks.

I didn't understand what I did.

"Jordan?" a familiar person called. I turned to face Carl.

"Carl, tell your Dad that I love him," I responded, throwing my bow onto my back.

"Where are you going?" he asked, sounding panicked, "does my Dad know?"

"I'm leaving. Your Dad was the one that told me to," I replied nonchalantly. He frowned at me.

"You're actually listening to him? He's stressed and he's taking it out on you."

"I'm not his stress ball!" I snapped.

"Jordan, please don't leave. Judy needs you. I need you and so does Dad, as much as you don't believe that right now, he does. He'll go insane. Please. Just stay," he begged, holding onto my wrist.

"Carl, he told me to go. He doesn't think I can survive out there. He seems to think I'm just in this group so I can stay alive. I don't need y'all, maybe it's better for us both. I love you Carl, just make sure to pass the message along to your Dad," I gave him a sad smile before rushing off into the trees.

I ran as far and as fast as I could. I knew Daryl could track but they would eventually give up. I told Carl that I didn't need them. Physically, maybe not, but emotionally, I did. Having support from everyone when it came to death was a necessity and now I had to deal with not having it.

I slowed down to a jog and the adrenaline started to wear off. Realisation hit me. I had left the family I had been with for majority of the apocalypse. I left Carl and Judith without a motherly figure. I left Rick. The one man I actually loved besides my Dad and Brother. He told me to leave. It wasn't even that long ago where we had lost a child.

I don't think he meant to push me away, like Carl said. 

I turned around quickly as I heard a growl. 

A lone female walker stumbled towards me. I quickly loaded my bow like it was second nature. I raised it and aimed carefully for the walker's head. I let go of the string, making the arrow go flying. It lodged perfectly in the walker's forehead, killing it. The walker dropped to the ground with one last growl.

I spun around slowly, checking all the directions. I wasn't just looking for walkers, I was looking for people.

My people.

›››‹‹‹ {rick's pov}

I stared in shock at the place where she once stood.

"Ye better fuckin' hope she's with the rest of 'em," Daryl warned me before storming off to where she went. I groaned, kicking a rock away from me. I really fucked up this time.

I followed Daryl back to where we were camped for the night. I stepped onto the road, glancing at everyone. Not a single person wasn't glaring at me. I looked over to Carl who was holding a fast asleep Judith.

"She told me to tell you that she's loves you," he said with absolutely no emotion. I knew he was angry, beyond angry even, he was furious. I pinched the bridge of my nose. I didn't know how to deal with this situation. I just told the love of my life to leave and she did. 

"What the hell did you do?" Maggie asked with a frown on her face, Glenn stood next to her glaring at me.

I cleared my throat before answering, "I asked her to leave."

Daryl scoffed angrily, "ye told 'er to. Ye left no room for argument 'n' now she's gone, good job asshole."

I ignored everyone's muttering and walked over to Carl.

"Where'd she go?" I asked him sternly.

"She told me that she doesn't need us," he recalled her words. I stared at my son in shock.

"She is lying."

"Do you honestly think she'll want to see you again after that too?" he continued with still no emotion.

I sighed in annoyance.

"You've ruined this for Judy and I! She was our only motherly figure and now she's gone! So, thanks for stuffing that up, Dad," he muttered angrily before storming off.

›››‹‹‹ {jordan's pov}

I stared at the small fire in front of me. It was dark and this small fire was all that I had for light. I found a small shed to sleep in and luckily for me, a pack of cigarettes and some vodka. I didn't care what type of vodka it was at this point in time.

I took a gulp of the drink. As I swallow, it burned my throat, leaving me wanting more.

I kept my eyes trained on the fire as memories floated into my mind. Maybe it was the vodka or maybe it was because I was finally alone...

I sat down in my seat and I straightened out my shirt. I had to represent our team well. I glanced around the room, noticing not all the representatives from all the counties were here yet. I had our team report laid out in front of me. I had been preparing for this for months.

This was the meeting where we had to report how well our team had done this year. In all the county police stations, one person is nominated to represent, depending on how well they've done that year. I've represented three years in a row now. I was proud of our team, we had done remarkably well at keeping Atlanta as clean as possible of crime.

My eyes wandered to the main door when two men walked in. One being a sheriff while the other was a highway patrol officer. The highway patrol officer one sat down at Fulton County's seat, but the other one was who caught my eye. He sat down at the King County seat, directly across from me. He didn't even notice me. But I certainly noticed him.

His eyes stood out to me the most.

His blue eyes.

He turned his head to look my way, I gulped and offered a smile. He grinned at me briefly before looking down at his own report.

Oh lord.

I was supposed to be concentrating and this one man has walked in making me weak in the knees. I mentally shot myself with a gun. I had to focus. I was the representative for the Atlanta Police Department. I had to represent and give a good impression, not by blushing at this sheriff who happened to be extremely attractive.

I usually wasn't interested in anyone. My mother thought I was asexual for a while but then she found out I was a workaholic. I remember her saying, 'well, that explains it.'

I could feel the sheriff staring at me while I pretended to read over my report.

This was going to be impossible.

‹

{{{ music: my arena - sia (not out, have to find a leaked version...) }}}

a/n: hello!!!

I literally have everything planned out now. I'm so excited! c: