Chapter Forty-Five // {daryl's pov}

› {the day after jordan left}

Jordan left yesterday and Rick was out still looking for her. He was a mess and so was Carl and Beth too. We all were. Jordan's presence was enough to make anyone smile and now she's gone. 

We ran outta fuel a little while ago, so now the whole group was just following a road up to Washington D.C. I was in the front with Carl and Judith at my side. Carl seemed to be very agitated. I knew that Jordan was a motherly figure for him and Judith.

A twig snapped from my left, I instantly raised my crossbow towards the sound. Rick stepped out alone, making me lower it.

He shook his head sadly and walked up to my side.

"She's too good at covering her tracks," Rick grumbled, walking beside me.

"You wouldn't have to try looking for her tracks if you didn't send her away!" Carl growled towards his father. Rick didn't even flinch at Carl's words. As soon as Jordan left, I tried to track her down but as Rick said, she's just as good as I am at covering her tracks.

Beth jogged up to Rick's side.

"You didn't find 'er?" Beth's southern accent showing. She looked up at the man with worry and concern.

Rick shook his head, "she's gone."

"Yeah, all because of you," Carl muttered from beside me. Beth frowned at the pair. 

"Why the hell aren't you looking for her still? She could be out there dying or in trouble and you're just walking here giving up!" she yelled, pointing a finger at Rick.

"Why the hell aren't you looking for her?" Rick argued back angrily.

"Maybe because I'm not as damn strong as y'all! That girl out there would have married you in an instant if you asked, yet you're here giving up on her! You're even the one who sent her away!" Beth shouted before storming off back to Maggie and Glenn. Rick huffed in anger.

"She's right," he mumbled before taking off back into the trees.

›››‹‹‹ {time skip: current time --  a week later from last chapter} {jordan's pov}

I walked along the path outside my house in a confident manner. I felt as if I had found my old self again. The closed-off self. I never lost my ambitious side though, it just kind of adapted to the new situation -- the dead walking. 

Aaron and Eric spoke to me over the walkie-talkie earlier this morning, telling me that they have people and they were coming back. I was excited to see them. I felt slightly safer with them around. I noticed that the majority... no... all of the people from Alexandria besides Aaron and Eric, had no clue on how to fight and survive. That worried me -- a lot.

My eyes scanned over the street for something to do. I was bored out of my mind and I was lonely. I was always alone before shit hit the fan... I didn't mind it at all until now. I grew attached to people and this is the consequence of doing so. Stupid...

My walkie-talkie started making noises, startling me from my thoughts. I took it in my hand and held it up to my mouth.

"Do you copy?" a voice said, in which I picked up as Eric's.

I pressed the button and spoke into it, "copy that," I answered. I tapped my foot, waiting for a reply.

"I need you to get the weapon bin and wheel it down to the front gate. We need to confiscate all the weapons after they all speak to Deanna," Eric spoke.

"Roger that," I replied before taking off to the armoury. More newcomers meant another stupid welcome party.

›››‹‹‹

"Here you go," the woman said, who wheeled the bin over to me. I hadn't learnt her name yet.

"Thank you," I thanked the lady before taking off to the front gate. I had rehearsed the lines that I would say to the group. I had to make an impression. I wasn't someone to be messed with. Also, preferably one to be left alone.

From afar, I could clearly see it was a big group. I kept my head down but still had my long and confident stride.

As I approached, I could hear mumbling and Aaron's clear voice.

"Here she is," Aaron announced making everyone turn around to face me. I put my head and my eyes instantly locked with his.

 I wanted to yell at him.

Hit him.

Scream at him.

 and I wanted to kiss him, all at the same time.

Rick Grimes stood in front of me in shock and disbelief, he was also holding Judith who was smiling towards me.

I, however, did not change facial expressions.

"Y'all have to hand over all firearms and ammunition, you can sign them out at any time from the armoury. You may keep your knives and such though," I spoke with pure confidence. I was not going to let him see how much he hurt me. I wasn't going to give him that.

Rick turned to look at Carl who looked like he had seen a ghost. I missed him and Judy so much.

Rick strutted up to me, I kept eye contact with him the whole time. I was not backing down. I watched as he unholstered his colt python and put it carefully in the bin. He finally broke eye contact and looked towards the ground, before turning back to his place.

One by one, everyone but Daryl, who didn't have a gun, placed their firearms into the bin. Beth being the last to do so.

"Thank you for your co-operation," I gave everyone a sarcastic smile before turning to wheel the bin away.

I gulped down the tears that were willing to spill as I wheeled the bin to the armoury. I was fucked. I had to leave.

I wiped away a stray tear before knocking on the armoury door. Less than a few seconds later, the same woman opened it, greeting me. I faked a smile -- which I had mastered.

"That's all the weapons," I said to the lady, she smiled innocently at me before taking the bin and closing the door behind her. I sighed loudly after she had closed it.

What the fuck was I supposed to do now? I was still supposed to be 'on duty' until 5 and it was only 3. I mentally shot myself before walking off to the park area of the community. It had a little river like thing running through it. I sat down on the grass hill. I anxiously bit at my nail beds. I didn't like this one bit. I mean I did to an extent, I love them all. But for once in my life though, I didn't know how to handle this situation. I was glad they were all safe.

"Jordan," a boy spoke from behind me. I wish I could just go invisible right now.

"Carl," I spoke quietly. He sat down beside me, looking towards the water.

"It's nice here," he said, trying to make a conversation. I nodded in agreement.

"We did look for you," he added, turning to me.

"I was long gone, Carl. I arrived here the day after your Dad kicked me out," I rolled my eyes to try and show that I didn't care. But as he said more and more, my heart broke more and more.

Carl sighed, "it's nice to see you."

I couldn't help but smile at his words, "I missed you and Judy very much," I replied.

"Did you miss my Dad?"

My smile turned into a frown. I didn't know how to answer that question, usually I'd straight up say that I loved Rick -- I still do but he hurt me. He kicked me out. He has absolutely no faith in me.

I didn't end up answering Carl's question, which in itself, was probably a good enough answer.

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a/n: oh snap