1
Hearing voices in your head is normal. Listening to them is quite common. Arguing with them – acceptable. It is only when you lose that argument that you get in real trouble.

2
Of course I have a talent. I'm really good in bed. Sometimes I sleep more than 9 hours in one go.

3
"If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to the height of your ego and jump down to your IQ level."

4
A jellyfish has existed as a species for 500 million years, surviving just fine without a brain. That gives hope to quite a few people.

5
I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. I am perfect.

6
Do people talk about you behind your back? Simply fart.

7
I’m on a strict seafood diet. I see food, I eat it.

8
A housewife's battle: 

The household stares at me. I stare right back. Without breaking eye contact, I slide a piece of chocolate in my mouth. I won!

9
No thanks, I didn't fight my way to the top of the food pyramid to become a vegetarian.

10
How stupid are you?
a) very
b) A
c) B