Okay, I seriously suggest you go look up the song 'Yo ho, Sebastian' by Cosmos Jarvis. I love it and it applies to the conversation [Fri 10 Oct, 11:41] so much. Listen to it while Sherlock quotes it if you like-- I did! Yay, pirates! -WPP

-

[Sun 05 Oct, 22:18]

There's a puzzle waiting for you. -JM x

Oh, joy. I preferred you before you got dumped. -SH

I'm going to make you squirm, Sherlock Holmes. -JM x

Please do use my full name. It makes you so much more threatening. -SH

You're such a sassy bitch now. -JM x

How's John? -JM x

I'll do the stupid puzzle. -SH

I'm hurt. It's not stupid. -JM x

I'll give you that one. -SH

What else will you give me, gorgeous? -JM x

Piss off. -SH

Tutt, tutt. John is a bad influence on you. -JM x

You handle break ups badly, don't you? -SH

Fuck off. -JM x

Tutt, tutt. Seb WAS a bad influence on you. -SH

Keep an eye on your precious doctor.. -JM x

-

[Mon 06 Oct, 03:47]

Boys, can you may turn music on next time? I fear for the neighbours mental health. You're.. loud. Okay, have fun. -H

What am I on about? You're already having fun. -H

-

[Mon 06 Oct, 10:03]

Guess what Charlie and I are going as for Halloween? -T

Slutty cats? -SH

I'm insulted. -T

Oh, we're having a party btw. You will be there. -T

*by the way. -SH

Sherlock, you will be there. -T

I know. -SH

I already have my costume. -SH

Ooh, what is it? -T

Not telling. -SH

All I'm saying is: Couple costume. -SH

Oh my God. You got John to agree to dress up? -T

Not yet but with the party I'm sure he will. He's a sucker for social events -SH

And the conversation returns to how John sucks. -T

;) -SH

My, my. A winky face from Sherlock Holmes, I feel honoured. -T

You should. If it weren't for my boyfriend, you wouldn't have a girlfriend. -SH

Sherlock, I was friends with Charlie before you and John. -JW

Yes but if it weren't for John, Charlie would had not moved to London and you wouldn't have met. -SH

Smart arse. -T

I've been told. -SH

What are you and Charlie going as anyway? -SH

The 118 men. -T

I am now imaging those two men snogging in the middle of a group of vampires, witches and warlocks. Scary. -SH

Heh. -T

So we'll see you and John at the party? -T

For sure. -SH

-

[Mon 06 Oct, 12:19]

Milk -SH

Nope. -JW

What? -SH

I'm at work, I'm not getting milk. -JW

Get some after work. -SH

If you dress up as a kitty for Halloween. -JW

No! You don't even want to go! -SH

So? I want to see you in a cat costume. -JW

Again. -JW

Shut up! You said we'd never mention it. -SH

Never. -SH

Then you played footsie. -JW

It's hardly my fault that the neighbours have a weird kid. -SH

You didn't have to agree to babysit him. -JW

Nor did you have to dress up as a cat to entertain him. -JW

I think you just like dressing up. -JW

Kitty Kat -JW

John! Stop it! -SH

I still have the picture he drew of you that says 'KiTty KAtT' -JW

It's sad you have it memorised -SH

-

[Mon 06 Oct, 12:26]

Ms Hudson. Go see how red Sherlock cheeks are for me. -JW

[Delayed] He looks like a tomato... -H

-

[Mon 06 Oct, 12:30]

You sent her to spy on me. -SH

I did. -JW

You're evil. -SH

You love it. -JW

It, no. You, yes. -SH

I know. -JW

Right. I wore a stupid costume to entertain a child and yes, I let him call me kitty and yes, I may have enjoyed being in the costume. And yes, you did walk in to find the neighbours kid (what the hell was his name?) forcing my face into a bowl of milk. -SH

No clue what his name was. -JW

You kept the costume on after he left. -JW

Because you refused to let me change until you got a picture! -SH

I never did get one... -JW

Can we forget it now? -SH

Fine. -JW

If you go get the milk. -JW

The things I do for you.... -SH

Hah. -JW

-

[Tues 07 Oct, 08:34]

I feel ill. -SH

Oh, God. Sherlock with a fever. I think I may leave the country. -JW

Shut up and forget the stupid paper. Come home and be a doctor. -SH

You get so needy when you feel ill -JW

I'm needy anyway. -SH

More so when you're ill -JW

You love it. -SH

Maybe. -JW

Jawwwwwwn. Come home. -SH

On my way up the stairs now. -JW

-

[Tues 07 Oct, 09:56]

Do I need to pick up any medicine? -H

No, Mrs H, he's not ill. Just being lazy and wanted me to make him breakfast. -JW

Oh. Well is there anything you need? -H

Milk, please. -JW

AND GRAPES -SH

And grapes, if it's not too much trouble, Mrs H. -JW

Alright, boys. -H

Keep Sherlock away from your phone, John. He's a menace. -H

I know.. -JW

And I'm hopelessly in love with the git. -JW

-

[Tues 07 Oct, 12:42]

Can we watch reruns of eleven? -SH

Oh, finally admitting you like Doctor Who? -JW

I like River. She's an interesting character. Other than that the show is illogical. -SH

Oh, and Ben 10 isn't? -JW

Shut up. -SH

Admit you like it and we can watch it. -JW

I'm not getting out of bed, you'll have to bring the TV in here. -SH

Admit it first. -JW

Fine. I maybe sort of kinda like Doctor Who. -SH

Nope. -JW

I like Doctor Who. It's captivating. -SH

Wow. You admitted it and complimented the show. I'm impressed -JW

Shut up. Make tea. Bring the TV and Doctor Who box set of eleven. -SH

Bossy git. -JW

-

[Tues 07 Oct, 14:01]

Hello, Sherlock.

Who's this? Why are you interrupting Doctor Who? -SH

It's Matthew.

Ah! Hello, Matthew! -SH

And find a sign for your messages. -SH

Um... -MS??

Yup. That works. -SH

So, was there something you needed? -SH

Remember that list you gave me...? -MS

Yes.. -SH

[Five minutes later] Matthew, what have you done? -SH

I didn't do anything. I'm just not sure how to deal with Number #5 -MS

Ah. I see. -SH

Call her mum, tell her mum to call her and explain. -SH

All will be fine. -SH

Thanks, mate. -MS

Oh, God. Never call me mate again. -SH

Alright. Thanks, Sherlock. -MS

Better. -SH

-

[Tues 07 Oct, 18:32]

You okay? -SH

I'm good. Just hit me, you know? -M

I do. -SH

See you soon, Molly. -SH

At the party if not before. -M

-

[Tues 07 Oct, 19:21]

Teaaaaaaaaa -SH

Lazy bugger. You could just shout. I'm in the kitchen. Getting out of bed today? -JW

When have we ever shouted? We always text. That way the neighbours hear nothing. And nope, I'm staying in bed all day. -SH

Speaking of neighbours hearing things, did you get that text from Ms Hudson yesterday? -JW

I did. -SH

I apologised for us. -JW

Us? You're the loud one. -SH

You're no where near silent during sex, Sherlock. -JW

Maybe I need a demonstration to prove it. -SH

Cheeky bastard. -JW

Bed's getting cold -SH

On my way. -JW

-

[Wed 08 Oct, 06:21]

Case. -SH

[Delayed] Where? -JW

Right down stairs. In Speedy's. -SH

Jesus, what happened? Ms Hudson okay? -JW

She's fine. -SH

Anything stolen? Someone killed? -JW

No. -SH

What's the case then? -JW

Flour. -SH

What? -JW

The flour on the floor. It spells out my name. -SH

Any idea who did it? -JW

Few ideas. -SH

Care to share? -JW

Not yet. -SH

-

[Wed 08 Oct, 08:49]

I'm there. What next? -SH

Now that would be telling. -JM x

Irene. -SH

-

[Wed 08 Oct, 17:10]

Let's have dinner.

Let's not. -SH

How's John?

Next puzzle piece, please. -SH

Let's have dinner.

[Delayed] Fine. Name a place and a time. -SH

Tomorrow night. 11pm. Angelo's, Mr Holmes.

Are you mad? John's going to ask questions! -SH

That's rather the point.

I despise you. -SH

Likewise, Mr. Holmes.

No. It's not. -SH

-

[Thurs 09 Oct, 09:48]

Grapes. We're out of grapes. -SH

I had a whole packet yesterday. -SH

Oh my God. You ate my grapes. -SH

I didn't. -JW

[Delayed] What's with Lily eating my stuff?! -SH

I think she gets lonely without Gracie. -JW

I don't want another pet. -SH

Neither do I. -JW

Oh! I'll take her to Molly's! -SH

Molly has a cat? -JW

She does. Plus I need to talk to her. -SH

You haven't played GTD in a while. -JW

Hmm. Matthew can watch the kittens and me and Molly can go play Guess The Death! -SH

*Molly and I -JW

Shut up, John. -SH

Not talking. I'm typing. -JW

Haha. -SH

Glad it made you laugh, love. -JW

Twat. -SH

Rude. -JW

Lack of grapes do that. -SH

Weirdo. -JW

Still prefer sexy. -SH

Arrogant git. -JW

That's not how you spell sexy. -SH

Eh, it's close enough. -JW

Haha. -SH

;) -JW

-

[Thurs 09 Oct, 22:01]

Tea? -SH

Since when do you make tea? -JW

Since I occasionally like to be a good boyfriend. -SH

Is it drugged? -JW

Yes. I'm trying to kill you so I get all your stuff. -SH

We're not married. It doesn't work that way. -JW

Do you want tea or not? -SH

Please. -JW

-

[Thurs 09 Oct, 23:05]

Got it. -SH

Good idea. Drugging your boyfriend's tea. -JM x

Piss off. -SH

Such a fowl mouth. -JM x

Such a lonely spider. -SH

-

[Fri 10 Oct, 13:51]

What happened to that case? -JW

Some stupid kids trying to be clever. -SH

Ah. -JW

We need milk. -SH

Again? -JW

Again. -SH

Okay. -JW

-

[Fri 10 Oct, 18:41]

Yo ho, Sebastian. -SH

I'm not dressing up, Sherlock. -JW

Tammy and Charlie are having a Halloween party. -SH

A costume party. -SH

... -JW

You twisted my arm. -JW

But it's you, my love. -SH

You're my land hoooy -SH

And you're my boy -SH

Yo ho, Sebastian -SH

Let's go far away -SH

Somewhere where the Captain won't be mad. -SH

Yo ho, Sebastian. -SH

I wanna love you good. -SH

And we deserve much better than we've had. -SH

You're obsessed. Adorable and obsessed. -JW

Awh, come on. It's a great song. -SH

You just like it because it's about pirates. -JW

Gay pirates. -SH

Still pirates. -JW

Okay, yes, I like pirates. -SH

I'd be under the sea, but you hold me above. Because you're the man I loooove-SH

That line. It fits us. -SH

It does. -JW

The rest of the song, though, doesn't. -JW

I'll love you still in hell. -SH

But I'm yours, you know? -SH

Okay, stop quoting the song now. -JW

Alright. Alright. -SH

If you dress up as Sebastian. -SH

So you're the one getting gang raped and whipped for me? -JW

You're my boy. -SH

God. I'm going to regret this, aren't I? -JW

Please, John. You're the man I love. -SH

Quote the song once more, Sherlock, and I won't go. -JW

I'll stop quoting it when you agree to be my Sebastian for the party. -SH

Fine. I'll dress up as a pirate for you. -JW

Yay! -SH

Sometimes, I honestly think you're a five year old at heart. -JW

Maybe. -SH

Idiot. -JW

Yes, but I'm your idiot. -SH

You are. -JW

-

[Fri 10 Oct, 14:02]

This one's making no sense. -SH

Ah. But it does. -JM x

-

[Fri 10 Oct, 17:43]

Sherlock? You okay? You just rushed out without warning. -JW

Fine. Just need to talk to Molly. -SH

Alright. See you later. -JW

Yup. -SH

-

[Fri 10 Oct, 18:04]

Secrets are bad for relationships, brother mine. -MHL

Stop bothering me and go play family. -SH

[Delayed] I apologise. That was uncalled for. -SH

All is forgiven. I'll stay out of your business. -MHL

-

[Sat 11 Oct, 02:32]

John. -SH

Are you awake? -SH

I lost my key. -SH

Can you let me in? -SH

John. -SH

Hello? -SH

[Incoming Call: Sherlock <3]

[Call Ended]

Damn it. Turn your phone on! -SH

[Delayed] John. It's raining. -SH

Open the door. -SH

Please. -SH

TURN YOUR PHONE ON -SH

-

[Sat 11 Oct, 04:27]

31: How redundant he can be. (Drama queen) -SH

32: How he finds it hard to say no to me. -SH

33: The way he wears my scarf and thinks I don't know. -SH

34: His lips -SH

35: The way he licks his lips. -SH

Ugh. Molly's sofa is uncomfortable. -SH

-

[Sat 11 Oct, 05:59]

Are you awake yet? -SH

Hellooooo? -SH

Wake up. -SH

John. -SH

Jawwwwn -SH

Jawn. -SH

John. John. -SH

Jawn. -SH

-

[Sat 11 Oct, 09:11]

Got the list. Adorable as ever. -JW

Only you can describe someone as redundant and make it sound romantic -JW

Where are you? -JW

Molly's -SH

I got locked out. -SH

I gathered. -JW

Where were you last night? -JW

Molly's. -SH

Alright then. -JW

You coming home soon? -JW

On my way now. -SH

Good. It was weird. Sleeping without you. -JW

I didn't sleep. -SH

Figures. -JW

Sorry I turned my phone off. -JW

It's fine, John. It's my fault for losing my keys -SH

Ms Hudson will let you in. I've got to go to work. -JW

Okay. See you later. -SH

I brought your costume, by the way. -SH

Alright. -JW

Til next time, Sebastian. -SH

Weirdo. -JW

Still prefer to be called sexy. -SH

Still need to go to work. -JW

Alright. -SH

-

[Mon 13 Oct, 14:28]

I can't keep my moustache on. Sherlock said to ask you for advice? -C

[Delayed] I'm going to kill him. -JW

??? -C

I once tried to grow a moustache. Before Sherlock and I were together. My date at the time liked it. Sherlock didn't.-JW

Oh. I hope he has pictures. -C

What happened to you being my friend that was worried about the fact I was with such an 'emotionless' man? -JW

I got to know him and became his friend. -C

Why does that sound like he replaced me? -JW

Oh, shut it. He's my gay best friend. -C

He's not even gay. It's just me. -JW

If you say so. -C

What does that mean? -JW

He's gay. You're just the only one he truly loves or ever will. -C

What does he sit with Molly and talk about boys? -JW

No. Just you. -C

How do you know he's gay then? -JW

He told me. -C

He never told me. -JW

You didn't ask. -C

Wow.... -JW

-

[Mon 13 Oct, 15:03]

I thought it was just me? -JW

Of course it's just you. -SH

I've just been told you're gay. -JW

I am gay. Vaguely speaking. -SH

What does that mean? -JW

'Gay' is used so differently now a days. -SH

You're attracted to males? -JW

Yes. -SH

So it's not just me. -JW

I can look at a man and think 'he's good looking' but that doesn't mean I've ever loved another being. I haven't. -SH

Right. -JW

Are you seriously angry about this? -SH

No. I'm just realising how ridiculous I sound. -JW

Over reacting. -SH

Sorry. -JW

Don't apologise. -SH

No. I will. I do this all the time lately. You haven't even left a body part in the fridge for months. -JW

I'm no shining prince of perfection, John. No doubt, there'll be something you'll get angry about with reason. Or I'll over react. -SH

That sounds like you've done something or are planning to do something. -JW

I've done nothing out of the ordinary. -SH

Right. Should I be panicking? -JW

Not at all, John. -SH

Can I put a hand in the fridge? It's missing a finger. -SH

[Delayed] Fine. But I want it gone by Thursday. -JW

Deal. -SH

-

[Tues 14 Oct, 01:28]

Next clue, my dear. -JM x

Stop with the pet names, James. -SH

Ooh, we're still on first name basis? That's a good sign. -JM x

Did Seb leave you because you're exceedingly annoying? -SH

Or was it because you're crap in bed? -SH

Now, now. Mr Holmes, you have a boyfriend. You can go round offering yourself up, -JM x

Excuse me, I need to go empty my stomach into the toilet. -SH

Pregnant? -JM x

Why are you doing this? You were ready to live this life behind. -SH

I decided this life is more fun. -JM x

Ugh. You're a pain in the arse. -SH

Mr Holmes! Think of what John would say! -JM x

[Delayed] Don't you want Seb back? -SH

[Five minutes later] Your silence speaks for itself. -SH

-

[Tues 14 Oct, 12:49]

Were you texting Sherlock in the early hours of this morning? -JW

No. Why? -M

He told me it was you when I woke up to find him hunched over his phone instead of cuddling me. -JW

Oh.. -M

Don't assume things, John. You know how that ends. -M

I know. -JW

Was he at yours the other night? -JW

Yeah. He got locked out so he came round. -M

But he wasn't there beforehand? -JW

No. -M

So he's definitely keeping something from me.. -JW

Ask Mycroft? -M

Good idea. -JW

-

[Tues 14 Oct, 13:09]

Where's Sherlock been running off to? -JW

-

[Tues 14 Oct, 13:16]

No reply. -JW

I'm sure he's looking after Sherlock. -M

-

[Wed 15 Oct, 14:02]

I miss you. -SH

?? -JW

You've been at work all day. -SH

I go to work most days. -JW

And I always miss you. I just don't announce it. -SH

You're adorable. -JW

When are you home? -SH

Few hours. -JW

Good. -SH

-

[Fri 17 Oct, 10:18]

My girlfriend is, frankly, shit at party planning. Heeeeeelp! -T

Alright. I'll be round in a few hours -SH

Okay. Thanks Sher. -T

-

[Fri 17 Oct, 10:37]

He's just announced he's off to yours, what do I do? -JW

Follow him! -M

-

[Fri 17 Oct, 11:02]

Where are you? All the clues lead to here. -SH

I told you to come alone. Not to involve John. -JM x

John's not involved. -SH

He's been following you for since you left. -JM x

I'm not stupid, you know. -SH

Oh? -JM x

What you're trying to do won't work. -SH

Ah. But we both know it will. -JM x

It won't. He has no reason to believe what you're trying to make him believe. -SH

If he's not having doubts, why is he following you? -JM x

[Delayed] Shut up. -SH

So rude. -JM x

-

[Fri 17 Oct, 12:39]

He went to a coffee shop, texted someone for a while and then left. He went to Tammy's after that. So I went home. -JW

Maybe he knew I was following him... -JW

John, I told you. Don't assume things. -M

Mm. Hard not to though, considering everything. -JW

This is Sherlock we're talking about John. You're his one and only. -M

I know.. -JW

You don't sound convinced. -M

I'm not. -JW

-

[Wed 22 Oct, 13:01]

Okay, what's going on? -JW

Hm? -SH

It's been almost a week of you sneaking around at night, going to 'Molly's and texting 'Molly'. Then, on top of that, you've been running around and being on your best behaviour. You even did the shopping without me nagging you into it. Something is going on. -JW

It's nothing. -SH

But there is an it? -JW

John, please. -SH

What? -JW

Sherlock, I want to understand why your doing this. -JW

Honestly, everything's fine. -SH

Nothing is going on. -SH

Sherlock, don't lie to me. -JW

Everything is fine, John. Believe me. -SH

What are you hiding? -JW

Nothing! -SH

I don't believe you. -JW

John, please, believe me. It's all fine. -SH

I don't know if I can trust you when you're sneaking around so much and lying to me. -JW

Trust me, John. Please. I'll explain as soon as I can. -SH

Why can't you explain now? -JW

All I can say is that the Flour Case was not as straight forward as I made out. -SH

A case?! You're acting this way because of a case. A case that you refuse to let me help in, I assume. -JW

Correct. -SH

Sherlock, tell me what's going on. Why aren't you telling me about this? -JW

I can't. -SH

Why the hell not? -JW

I can't say. -SH

Fine. -JW

I'm going out tonight. To the pub with Greg. -JW

Alright.. -SH

I love you. -SH

I love you too, you secretive twat. -JW

<3 -SH

Weirdo. -JW

Prefer sexy. -SH

Stop making me smile! I'm supposed to be mad at you. -JW

I'm going to Ireland for two days on Friday. -SH

.... -JW

Tell me this isn't about going to Moriarty's bloody wedding. -JW

It isn't the wedding. -SH

That got called off. -SH

Oh? -JW

Mm. Sebastian was sleeping around. -SH

Somehow, I'm not surprised. -JW

Hm. -SH

What? -JW

I feel bad for Jim. -SH

You're ridiculous. -JW

Maybe. -SH

-

[Wed 22 Oct, 16:58]

Drinks later, mate? -JW

Sure. -GHL

Myc is taking Alex to his parents for the night anyway. -GHL

You not going? -JW

Nah. Can't take tomorrow off work. -GHL

Ah. See you later then. -JW

Yep. -GHL

-

[Thurs 24 Oct, 02:05]

Packed? -JM x

You know I have. -SH

Don't try anything smart, Sherlock. Just get the job done. -JM x

Oh, not going to kill me once it's done? -SH

No. Too obvious. -JM x

I have my plan. -JM x

I'm positively trembling with excitement. -SH

Such a sarcastic little brat. -JM x

-

[Thurs 24 Oct, 11:32]

Is it bad I'm tempted to look through his phone while he showers? -JW

Yes! Have more faith in him, John. You know where not trusting him has got you in the past. -M

[Delayed] Do you know something I don't? -JW

John! -M

Right, right. Sorry. -JW

-

[Thurs 24 Oct, 12:48]

Is your trip to Ireland related to this case you won't tell me about? -JW

Yes. -SH

Okay. -JW

I am sorry, John. Just trust me. -SH

I do trust you. -JW

Your trust is slipping. -SH

I don't mean for it to... -JW

I understand. -SH

You were right. -JW

About? -SH

Before, when you said all you do is trust me and I find it much harder. -JW

Not without reason. -SH

True. -JW

When's your flight? -JW

6am tomorrow morning. -SH

How long are you gone for? -JW

Two days. My return flight is the same time on Monday. -SH

Right. -JW

If all goes to plan, I'll be able to explain. -SH

Don't raise my hopes. -JW

[Delayed] There is a case, isn't there? You're not flying off for some sex filled holiday with some young bloke, are you? If you are, if you've found someone else, that's fine... just tell me now. -JW

John Watson, you are the biggest idiot on the face of the Earth! -SH

I love you. I have never loved anyone else and I never will. -SH

You are the only person out there for me. -SH

I love you more than words can describe. -SH

I would never do that to you. I am never leaving you. I love you. -SH

[Delayed] I believe you. -JW

Do you? Truly? -SH

I don't know... -JW

I think I'm going to stay in my old room tonight. -JW

John.. -SH

I just need some space, okay? -JW

Alright. -SH

-

[Thurs 24 Oct, 23:17]

Told you. -JM x

Piss off. -SH

I bet he doesn't go with you to the airport. -JM x

-

[Fri 25 Oct, 06:09]

Told you. -JM x

I plan to shoot you between the eyes, just so you know. -SH

No, you don't, because then Johnny Boy's going to die. -JM x

Someone will be there to pick you up and take you to the safe house. -JM x

Safe house? -SH

You said I'd be outside for this one puzzle. I need to be outside for this puzzle. How can I do that at a safe house?! -SH

Oh, Sherly. We have to ensure you do as you're told. -JM x

My brother has been keeping tabs on you. He knows where I am. -SH

Ah, but we both know he's not above watching you get tortured. -JM x

Well, this is going to be a fun weekend... -SH

;) -JM x

Ugh. I feel sick. -SH

I'm insulted. -JM x

[Delayed] What if Seb came back? -SH

I have a plan... -SH

I'm listening. -JM x

-

[Fri 25 Oct, 22:59]

Everything alright? I know I probably could have handled this all better. You promised to text when you landed. -JW

[Ten minutes later] Sherlock? -JW

Sherlock can't come to the phone right now. But he's fine. -JM x

Moriarty... -JW

Mm. -JM x

You're with Sherlock? -JW

No. He's off with Sebby. -JM x

Doing what? -JW

I believe they've gone out for drinks. Sherlock said not to keep tabs on him. He left his phone on purpose. Something about signals and Mycroft. -JM x

Why are you telling me this? I was just the impression that Sherlock was sworn to secrecy. -JW

The plan changed. -JM x

I was going to torture him. -JM x

Now he's trying to save my relationship. -JM x

Right.. So why'd you have Sherlock leave me out the loop? -JW

I wanted you to doubt him. Which you did. -JM x

... You're horrible. -JW

Mm. -JM x

-

[Mon 27 Oct, 09:38]

Are you back yet? -JW

Yes. -SH

Coming home? -JW

No. -SH

Why not? -JW

Going to the hospital. Back needs treating. -SH

What's wrong? Are you okay? -JW

Nope. I failed. Jim lied. So on. So on. -SH

You were... tortured? -JW

A lot. -SH

I'm on my way to the hospital now. -JW

No! -SH

I don't want you to see me like this. -SH

Tough. -JW

Ugh. Idiot. -SH

Yeah. I'm the idiot. You're the one who flew off to Ireland without telling me you were going to see a madman that wants you dead. Not to mention you somehow prevented Mycroft from tracking you and ended up placing trust in said man that wants you dead. -JW

Everyone makes mistakes. -SH

A mistakes is accidentally using salt instead of sugar or making a typo. This was just raw stupidity. -JW

Shh. -SH

I'm at the hospital now. How long will you be? -SH

Five minutes at the most. -JW

-

[Mon 27 Oct, 09:49]

Your boyfriend is a drama queen. Hurry up. -M

Is he hurt? -JW

Yes. But not terribly. -M

He was tortured Molly. -JW

Whoever tortured him was as gentle as they could be. They didn't break the skin. -M

So, he's fine? -JW

Perfectly fine. Just whiny. -M

-

[Mon 27 Oct, 09:52]

Molly's being mean to me. -SH

I'm nearly there. -JW

Good. -SH

Molly's mean. -SH

I hope her baby isn't mean. -SH

She's only showing a little. -SH

Now I feel bad for flicking her. -SH

John? -SH

Are you here? -SH

Are you ignoring me? -SH

Dear God, be patient. I'm outside. -JW

You're all mean to me. -SH

-

[Mon 27 Oct, 16:07]

Milk. We need milk. -SH

I'm working, Sherlock. -JW

You're off in an hour. -SH

You can get milk then. -SH

And grapes. -SH

You're a pain in the arse, you know? -JW

I love you too -SH

Haha. -JW

Oh. Get cat food for Lily. -SH

-

[Tues 28 Oct, 14:10]

Irene was right. You look sexy on Crimewatch. -JW

You've been going through my phone.. -SH

No. She told me that. -JW

Wait.. You still have her messages? -JW

I do. -SH

Do you read them? -JW

Occasionally. -SH

But you've had new phones since then. -JW

I had them saved to the sim card. -SH

Right... -JW

I always wondered. Did you and her ever.. you know. Before she went off to America, that is. -JW

I'm gay, John. You know that. -SH

Everyone has exceptions to their own rules. -JW

Even you. -JW

Why are you so hellbent on finding another person I 'love'? -SH

Jim was messing you, John. You know that. Get this stupid idea of me cheating on you, loving another, out your head. -SH

[Delayed] So if I were to tell you that she's dead, you wouldn't care? -JW

Not at all. -SH

She's dead. That's what Mycroft really told me that day. -JW

I know. -SH

Right... -JW

John, you know why I kept all that from you, why do you not trust me? -SH

Because you're you. -JW

What's that suppose to mean? -SH

You're bloody perfect. You attract people no matter how much of an arse you are. Irene, Moriarty, they're your equals. You fit with them, either of them. Even your brother can see that and yet you're with me. I just can't believe there's people Sep well suited to you out there and you don't even wonder what it'd be like. -JW

You're right. They are suited to me. Compatible. But I don't ever wonder what it'd be like. Admittedly, when she came along, I entertained the possibility of Irene and I but that flew out the window after the night she returned my coat. She was a loose canon, not something I admire. -SH

And yes. I am with you. -SH

Because you are John Watson, the man I love. The only one I have ever loved. You're just as suited to me as those others, John, expect you are good for me to, capable of loving me back, you keep me right. There's no competition. Just you and I. That's a fact. -SH

Come home. Now. -JW

Please. -JW

On my way. -SH

-

[Thurs 30 Oct, 21:00]

[Group Chat. Creator: Charlie. Contacts: Sherlock, Mols, Johnny, Greg, Mycroft, Matthew]

It's duty to inform you all that you are officially invited to mine and Tammy's Halloween costumes party. (Which is stupid because we've already told you all but Tammy insists I 'officially' tell you) It starts at seven. Ends whenever you decide to leave the next day :) -C xx

PARTY, PARTY, PARTY! -M

MOLLY, MOLLY, MOLLY! -SH

SHERLOCK, SHERLOCK, SHERLOCK! -M

Oh.. That's what that is.. I should have got that one. -JW

Yes, you really should have. -SH

But I got something out of your stupidity, it's fine. -SH

Yeah.. He told us about how much you suck... -C

Unfortunately... -M

Oh, God. Brother mine, shame on you. -MHL

Sorry to inform you, but Greg and myself can't attend the party. -MHL

Oh right! Yeah. How's Alex?! -M

He's doing well. -GHL

Costumes, guys! I want to know. -C

JOHN, SAY NOTHING. -SH

Jeez. Fine. -JW

He just sat on me.. -JW

You two are odd. -MS

Children. -MHL

Wow. Charlie. Change that contact name now. -JW

Um.. How about no? -C

Git. -JW

I prefer Jawwwwn. -SH

Of course you do, Sher. -JW

That explains a lot. -M

?.. -JW

Hm? -C

I called Sherlock 'Sher' because I was rushing to try and beat him in GTD and he flicked me saying that everyone else has to finish his name. That was a long time ago. -M

Yeah. Sher is kind of a nickname. -JW

I remember Sherlock's school nickname. -MHL

Don't we all? -SH

Explain.. -M

'Freak' -SH

Sally went to your school? -GHL

Yeah. She did.... -JW

I meant the other one, Sherlock. -MHL

35th Birthday. Missing tarts. -SH

Movies. -MHL

Oh, piss off. He's hot! -SH

Who is? -JW

No one. -SH

Boyfriend doesn't know about your celebrity crush, Sherlock? -MHL

Husband doesn't know about that day, with that person, in that room, Mycroft? -SH

One of you, Explain! -JW

Yes. Please do. -GHL

[Delayed] Sherlock's gone to sulk. -JW

Myc's locked himself in the office. -GHL

Children. -M

Agreed! -C

See you at the party! -C

Yup! -M + MS

You will. -JW

-

[Thurs 30 Oct, 21:21]

Oh, John! Tell Ms Hudson she's invited too. I know the group chats mess up her phone. -C

Will do! -JW

-

[Fri 31 Oct, 18:45]

You make one sexy pirate. -SH

You look pretty good yourself. -JW

-

[Sat 01 Nov, 11:32]

Best party in ages. -JW

Would have been better if they didn't call me Captain Holmes. -SH

Idiots. I was clearly not a Captain. You looked more like a Captain and you are a Captain but you were not a Captain. Sebastian and his secret lover. Not that hard to comprehend. -SH

Calm down, love. It doesn't matter. -JW

It does... -SH

Don't worry. We knew what it meant. -JW

I suppose. -SH

Good. -JW

-

[Sat 01 Nov, 20:28]

Where are you? -JW

In the bath. -SH

Oh, right. Thought you'd run off on a case. -JW

Nope. Too much excitement of late. Relaxing for a while is nice. -SH

Well, when you get out we'll open this wine and relax even more. -JW

Why wait? Come join me. Bring the wine too. -SH

I love you, you brilliant man. -JW

I know. -SH