look, i wrote. also this new wattpad format pisses me off, but i'm dealing with it

john walked into the flat, going up the steps and standing on the landing in front of the door that lead into the kitchen. he stared at his boyfriend that sat at the table, staring into his microscope, extremely focused on what he was doing. maybe john should have texted first. sherlock was busy and obviously doesn't want any distractions. he could just tell him later. later would be better. they could go out to dinner and john could say what he needed, but that would mean that john would get humiliated in public and he didn't want that to happen.

john sighed softly, stuffing his hands into his coat pocket and turning on his heels but the sound of sherlock speaking stopped him.

"you can come in, john."

john turned again and looked at sherlock who was now looking at him with a soft smile. john smiled back, taking a few steps into the flat.

"you didn't text. did you need something?" sherlock asked.

"ah, no. it can wait."

"you sure?"

john nodded. "yeah. you're busy and i can just come by when you're not." he took a step back.

sherlock furrowed his brows. "it's clearly something." he stood up, the legs of his chair scraping against the wood floor as he did.

john continued to take steps back until he was on the landing. "i'll come by tonight. is that okay?"

sherlock nodded. "yeah, of course it is."

john inhaled deeply before leaving in a hurry, standing on the sidewalk as he calmed his nerves. he had an extra five hours to prepare himself to tell sherlock. he could do it, but he would be risking one of the best relationships he's ever been in. all john had to do was tell himself that it would be fine, that sherlock would accept him for who he is because sherlock is a sweet guy who would understand and if he didn't, john would just have to live with the fact that he would be losing one of the most understanding men in his life.

it would be fine.

john stood on the landing in front of the kitchen door, again, but this time sherlock's back was to him as he was cooking. the table was cleared of the earlier experiment and now set for two with an unlit candle in the middle. john gently knocked on the door frame, watching sherlock glance behind quickly before he turned the burner off and move the pan so what he was cooking wouldn't burn.

"hi," sherlock smiled as he walked around the table.

"hey." john looked up at sherlock. "you didn't have to cook."

"well, i wanted to." sherlock leaned down to give john a kiss, but john moved away, giving sherlock an awkward pat on chest. "something is wrong." sherlock stepped back, putting a respectful space between him and john. "what is it?"

john looked down at his feet, scratching the back of his neck. "i don't know how exactly to say it." he looked up at sherlock who wasn't smiling anymore.

"it's only been two months," sherlock's voice cracked, "am i really that bad?" he asked.

"no, no. it's not that, sherlock." john stepped closer to sherlock, but sherlock stepped back. "it's not that. i swear."

"then what is it? i- i told you all my flaws on our first date and you've always been fine with them. i look after you, i make you dinner." he gestured to the stove before his hand fell to his side. "what is it?"

john inhaled deeply. "i should have told you this two months ago. i really should have because now i'm putting this amazing relationship on the line and an even more amazing person," he huffed out a laugh and looked at sherlock who now looked more worried than pissed off. "and i thought you would have left after the first couple weeks because i didn't want to have sex, but you stayed. and how i'm not comfortable with undressing in front of you, or how i always sleep with my shirt on or when i do that certain thing sometimes. you never ask why i do those things."

"i don't want you to be uncomfortable around me. i like you, john and you're one of the few people that put up with my experiments or the fingers in the fridge and my occasional not talking for days." sherlock have john a timid smile. "and i don't want this relationship to be over."

"it probably will be after i say this."

sherlock stepped over to john, holding his hands as he looked at the blond. "try me."

john looked up at sherlock, squeezing the larger hands as he took a deep breath. "i'm trans."

there was a few seconds of regret flooded johns mind because sherlock just stood there, saying nothing, staring at him blankly. the johns face was in the softness of the detective's jumper as his arms wrapped around him tightly. john hugged him back, sniffling as a few tears escaped from his eyes.

"i am proud of you." sherlock said. "i am so fucking proud." he let go of john, cupping his his cheeks. "you are beautiful, john watson." he wiped the tears from his cheeks. "you are strong and amazing and i would be damned if you would think that i would drop you because you are who you are."

john sniffled, wiping his face. "do you really mean it?"

"do i really- of course if fucking mean it."

john huffed out a laugh. "thank you."

"for what?"

"for being you. for understanding and still wanting to be with me even though i don't exactly have a dick."

"well, i fell in love with who you are. not what is in your pants."

john furrowed his brows. "did you just?"

sherlock nodded. "yes. sorry, that was a bit too soon." he scratched the back of his neck.

"it's cool. that is totally cool." john smiled at sherlock. "i love you, too."

sherlock smiled widely, pulling john to him and kissing him deeply. and this time john didn't move away.