5 Things John felt when Fall Break finally rolled around.

1. Amazement. How had he gotten through the first quarter of junior year so quickly? John had actually had some fun too. Even though he and Francis had their quarrels, they still had fun with each other. Like on that one Friday on that one week in that one period of the day where they played board games with all their friends and it had been relaxed and calm and sweet and.. John's mind continued to add descriptors. That had been a good day.

2. Relieved. This year John made it through with straight A's, which were harder to come by for him these days. He was smart, that was obvious to anyone who knew him, he could lack motivation at times though. He always hit important due dates but there were a few assignments he completely just didn't even try to do. It was harder to do things when John didn't want to do them. Or when he didn't want to be there at all. (The word 'there' in that sentence could be used as a synonym for school or life.)

3. Nervous. John was one of those kids that when school started back up again, all the classes collectively came back to fuck him over. He wasn't looking forward to that.

4. Excited. On that last night before fall break officially started, he had a football game that they completely dominated in. Before the halftime marching band show even started, they had twenty eight points on the other team. John always loved games like that, they brought his adrenaline up like crazy. He felt like it was his freshman year again, and it was his first game of the season. That excitement was the best feeling in the world, and no one could tell him otherwise.

5. Nervous but part two because there was a different reason. On the last Saturday of the fall break, John was going out with Francis to some concert for some band that Francis liked. It was a real emo band, and John just..never went through that phase like some of his friends did. But even so, he was going to go to the concert because Francis wanted him to go. And God knows John would do just about anything for that boy.

4 Things John did during the week of his break.

1. Lied around and played on his phone. Which he tended to do even when school was on, but now he just had more time to chill out. His dad called him lazy, which annoyed John just a tad. It was his fall break. He didn't have to do anything if he didn't want to. He worked every day of the week otherwise. Plus overtime if homework was included.

2. Played video games with Francis. John tended to really treat Francis like a friend whenever his family was around. In private it was a different matter, but otherwise, he'd pretend to be as 'normal' as possible. It wasn't hard to pretend to be straight, he passed for that quite well. He didn't tend to follow stereotypes of a gay man and was already a white male. When people assumed he was straight, he wasn't about to correct them. That'd be mortifying. Probably for both parties.

3. Went to a shitty concert for no reason other than he liked the club it was at and it was a pretty lowkey set up. Plus, tickets were only ten bucks, so Francis tagged along. It wasn't like Francis was doing anything during a Sunday night anyway. Even though the music was shit and they didn't know the words, they pretended they were super into the band, and it turned out hella cool.

4. Francis. (Yeah, that's the whole fourth part of the list.)

3 Plans that were made via text after the concert.

1. F.Kinloch>: sup mega faggot

J.Laurens>: Dude, What the fuck.

F.Kinloch>: idk man just got bored
F.Kiloch>: so.. we finna fuck on wednesday?? jk.. unless?

J.Laurens>: You're going to be the death of me, I swear. But I'm down. What time?

2. F.Kinloch>: i was thinking 4:20

J.Laurens>: Are you really? Because I will show up at your house at 4:20 and if you're doing something and tell me to leave; that's on you.

F.Kinloch:> oh yea yea, my bad. i forgot. at 4:20 i have snorting crack scheduled
F.Kinloch>: my bad

J.Laurens>: You are legitimately the worst.

F.Kinloch>: love you too baby!!

J.Laurens>: I thought we weren't dating, Francis! What the hell?

F.Kinloch>: Fuck you.

3. J.Laurens>: my house or yours?

F.Kinloch>: mine.

5 Times that John was uncomfortable and reminded Francis was a dick while hanging out on Wednesday.

1. When John got uncomfortable about being affectionate in front of Francis' family, Francis grumbled to him, "Stop acting like a fag or I'll fucking kill you." John held Francis' hand after that. He felt ridiculous. Why was he doing this to himself? He could so easily leave. But at the same time, he couldn't. John was realizing he really did love Francis, and it scared the shit out of him sometimes. Especially when Francis was so, so mean to him.

2. When Francis said, "Jesus fuck, I can't keep dating someone who's like you."

3. John laid in Francis' bed, watching TV with him, glancing at Francis whenever he moved or touched John. It wasn't even sexual touching but for some reason, it made John want to scream and rip shit off the walls. He wasn't sure if he wanted to kiss Francis or call it all off. Say he wasn't gay and it was all a set up. John blinked hard and then opened his eyes and sighed, wrapping an arm around Francis. He was so scared.

4. "Stop making that face." Francis has said.

John raised an eyebrow. "What face? I'm just.. watching tv, my dude."

Francis scoffed. "Yeah okay. You look fucking depressed. Do you want weed or something? Because I have weed. Do you want to drink? Let's go drink. I want a drink, let's go drink."

5. When they went to go drink. John quite liked drinking most of the time but today just seemed.. off. He didn't know why he was so off his own rhythm.

1 Thing John knew by the days end.

1. Francis certainly didn't love him back. This couldn't be what love was.