"I kinda regret going into this without a game plan."

"Is it already that time of the day? The time where I get to tell Joan 'I told you so'?"

"Jack, I swear."

"How did you think this was going to turn out?"

"Ugh, look, I know this whole mess is because of me-"

"-mhh, yeah, it is."

"And I know we only have like less than half an hour before mom and dad come home and see this mess-"

"-keep it comin', keep it comin'."

"But I know that together we can fix this."

"Oh, God, she's done it. I. Can't. Handle. The...cheesiness."

"Look, are you with me or not?"

"It's not my ass on the line for this, they put you in charge."

"Oh, come on, Jack, as smart as you are, you really think when mom and dad put me 'in charge' that they're actually putting me in charge?"

"What?"

"I'll translate for you. When mom and dad say: 'Joan, you're in charge', they really mean: 'Joan, we're only saying you're in charge because age-wise you're older but your maturity level is shit so therefore, Brent, you're in charge'. You gotta read in between the lines with them."

"Argh, crap! I really wish you were wrong but that actually sounds like what they mean when they say that. So that's why they always look at me when they tell you that?"

"Yup, so it's both our asses on the line if they come home to this."

"Fine, so what's your big idea on how to fix this, Eisenstein?"

"Um, I'm not the straight-As student here so..."

"And I'm not the jackass that decided to clog the toilet and bust the pipes so..."

"I think mom and dad really need to invest in a new piping system or whatever."

"Or maybe a new daughter- ow!"

"You need to work on your whispering game."

"It was meant to be heard. But ow, that hurt, you know I bruise easily."

"Child, stop, the house already stinks, we don't need anymore BS. Now come on and get the mop and bucket. Do you know where the toolbox is?"

"Toolbox? What do you think this is? Home Depot? Welcome to the Domshov household where the closest thing we have to tools is a Phillips screwdriver and duck tape."

"Ugh, are you kidding me? How am I supposed to fix anything without tools?"

"You can try to run to grandma and grandpa's house and borrow their toolbox."

"God, just kill me now. Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"My movie premiere tickets with Nora flying away."

"Okay, well if you still wanna go to the movies then we need to get started pronto."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. I guess we should start mopping everything up first then I'll check on the toilet later."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Pass me those paper towels. Thanks."

"...you know."

"Yeah?"

"We could clean this whole kitchen, air it out, and fix everything and I still think dad would notice something's up."

"Really? Why's that? I think we can get this one thing over on him."

"Nah, he's going to see there are fewer paper towels on the roll. Like he'll just glance at it and know in like three-fourths of a second that there are exactly fifteen sheets missing."

"Oh my gosh, I think you're right. But I think I'm going to use the whole roll 'cuz I mean look at this mess."

"He's gonna notice it's a new roll."

"We'll use some of 'em, he can't notice then."

"Oh no, she's arrived in the delirious phase. Beanstalk, you gotta stay with me, stay strong."

"Shit, I wish you were making this up but you're so right about this."

"He'll just know we're short one roll and then he'll be like 'What are you hiding?' I can see it now."

"Yas, I swear. How does he know? If you think about it, like really think about it, it's actually kinda freaky how he just knows things...do you think he's a psychic?"

"You know, the less I try to understand how the better I sleep at night."

"Haha, you're right. Thanks for helping me clean up. I know I really kinda fucked this up, like this isn't how we should be spending our free Saturday without mom and dad but...here we are."

"It's all good, just know you owe me a solid."

"Yeah, of course. But seriously, you're the real OG."

"Hm."

"...okay, what was that?"

"Huh?"

"Oh no, don't try and act like you didn't just 'hm' me. I've sniffed a lot of glue in my life, but not that much where I can't detect a passive aggressive 'hm'."

"What can I say, I inherited more than my hair and eye color from dad."

"Seriously, spill or else."

"Or else what?"

"Don't tempt me."

"Okay, okay, don't tickle me, I swear."

"Then what's up with the 'hm'?"

"You're gonna hate me for saying this but I kinda lied when I said it's all good."

"Whatcha mean?"

"Okay, so I've been talking to the boys and all, and they kinda brought up a good point. I mean, even Hugh added something intelligent so it's a pretty damn good point."

"So what have the 'boys' been telling you?"

"Just, you know...if I compiled all the solids you owed me from the day I was born then you could, technically speaking, be my slave for the rest of my life."

"I'm trying to decide if that's racist but the jury's still out on that one."

"Yeah, I know, crazy talk, but I mean, they're kinda not wrong..."

"Okay, yeah, I probably owe a lot of people solids, you especially, but what does that have to do with anything. Wha? What's with the look?"

"Come on, Beanstalk, do I really have to spell it out for you."

"Humor me."

"Fine. I just kind of wish you start acting as the older sister sometimes, you know, not often, but occasionally would be nice."

"Okay, don't humor me, damn, I feel attacked. You don't think I act like an older sister?"

"Okay, seriously, Joan? Do I have to pull out the mom face?"

"Honestly, Brent, I'm just trying to figure out what you're trying to say here. Do I not act like an older sister?"

"I'm not asking you to come with a manual or something, it's just I feel like...I don't know."

"I think you do know. Just be straight with me."

"Sure I can't be bi?"

"Seriously, Brent, just say whatever."

"Welp, now I kinda wish I would've kept my mouth shut- that's what I get for listening to those guys."

"I'm waiting."

"You can be immature as hell sometimes, 'kay? Sometimes it's cool and fun, but sometimes it can get annoying and I feel like I'm always cleaning up your mess. You still love me, though, right?"

"Ask me again in a year then maybe I'll see how I feel."

"Oh, come on, Joan, you're thick-skinned- hey, where are you going? We're not even done yet. See, this is exactly what I was talking about."

"What are you talking about?"

"You, walking off, not dealing with the mess you made and now I'm left cleaning up."

"You're the perfect one, shouldn't this be a piece of cake for you?"

"Seriously, Joan, I don't wanna fight. Mom and dad are coming home soon and I just want to get this cleaned up before they're back. We can drop this topic, okay. Just come on and let's finish up. Uh...you cool?"

"...shit."

"What?"

"I'm doing it again, aren't I?"

"Doing what?"

"Being an immature asshole, just like you pointed out. Jesus, I'm predictable."

"Don't beat yourself up over it. Let's just move on and finish cleaning."

"No, look, I'm sorry. I know I'm not sister of the year all the time-"

"Most of the time."

"-most of the time, but I try, alright. You just gotta bear with me most days, but...and don't expect me to repeat this again until you're like thirty or forty or something, but I love ya."

"Aw, I knew there was a heart in there."

"Yeah, whatever. But I do get where you're coming from and...and I'll try harder, promise."

"Promise promise?"

"Promise promise."

"Cool. Now if you're still interested in going to the movies next weekend then you better pick up those paper towels and get to it."

"Yeah, you right. But seriously, dad's so gonna notice something's up."

"True, but the real question is: how long can we hide it from him? After your movie premiere then you're home free."

"I like your style, kid, I like your style."

°°°

From the moment I wake up, I'm worried about what Tymos has in store for me. I saw a side of him I'd never seen, and from the way he was talking it sounds like there's going to be hell to pay for my rebellion. And as much as it sucks admitting to myself that I'm nervous, I know that it wouldn't do me any good to be in denial then be caught off guard if something does happen.

Nimu must have that sixth sense embedded in her Neko DNA or something because she picks up on my newfound tension immediately.

"Everything okay?" She asks, peering at me with genuine concern. "You seem a little distracted. Something weighing on your mind?"

She takes my internal debating as a negative sign and quickly adds-

"If you want to talk about it, of course. I may be completely wrong."

"No, no, you're cool," I sigh. "And you're actually right. Something has been bothering me."

I can't tell her flat out that it has to relate to Tymos because after breaking one rule I'm not too keen on seeing what breaking two will do- at least, not at this stage.

"Is it about your brother?" She asks.

"A little, but not fully..."

Her eyes narrow a bit. "Does it involve Tymos?"

Gah! I have to come up with something- anything. She's looking at me now!

Her cat intuition is too good.

"No, it's, uh, it's," I lower my voice and glance around, mainly over at Dhisnaek. "It's about my dad."

Now there's a suitable lie. And honestly, it's not too far of a stretch to claim that. Though it hasn't been on my mind much since that strange night Tymos first visited me in that weird dream sequence thing, the things he showed me supposedly about my dad when he was younger hasn't sat well with me, and I haven't really had anyone to talk to about it (at least, not the person I want to talk to it about, but he's light years away). It would make sense to talk to Dhisnaek about it, but he knows even less than I do about my dad, plus I don't want to ruin the good image I've painted of my dad for him.

Nimu's a neutral party though, so maybe she has some insight. I just have to leave out the parts about Tymos involved.

"I've been learning so much about my dad and who he was here and it's kind of surprising, you know."

"Surprising how?"

I shrug as I fold my arms across my chest. "I dunno. I'm just learning new, surprising things about him, and I kind of feel a little- I don't wanna say deceived, but kinda like that."

"I think I see where you're coming from," She nods. "You and your father must be close."

I smirk at her. "You got a good six sense, you know."

Now she shrugs, hiding a small smile that's crept onto her face. "Yeah, well, I've had years to hone it in. But in regards to your father, it sounds like whatever happened here he didn't want to bring it with him into your world. I think that shows progress, and maybe it's not about what happened then as it about who he is now. He's a good father to you, right?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Then I think that's what's most important."

"Yeah...but why hide it? He's always upfront about everything."

"People have their reasons for hiding secrets," She says, lower her voice a tad on that. "But as I said, try to focus on who he is now."

"I guess."

She chuckles at me. "Seems unusual that you're so focused on the past and you're always rearing for the future."

I can't help but chuckle at the irony either. "Yeah, that's true."

I could try to get nagging thoughts about my dad's deception out of my head, but it's hard so I attempt to hop on another runaway train I haven't had time to explore.

"Hey, so you and Lan are pretty close," I begin, trying to sound all nonchalant and all. Judging by the narrowed, suspicious look in her eyes she's waiting for the punchline. "So I was just wondering if you knew what was up with Lan the other day."

Her eyebrow arches in question, "The other day?"

"You know, he brought up traveling to you guys' village when he was thirteen. He got a little uptight about that and me being me, I have to get to the bottom of it."

For a moment, she presses her lips thin and stares off into space like I'm not even there. After several seconds pass, she starts up with some closure on a topic that hasn't even begun.

"You remember when I said people have their reasons for hiding secrets? Lan's one of those people. Now don't go pestering him about it."

"So, you do know what it is," I say, my cheekiness not amusing her.

"Vaguely," She admits. "But I am serious, Joan, don't get on him about it."

"Okay," Man, it must be some juicy stuff. She shouldn't have framed it that way, now it's going to be my mission to find out the dirt. "So can I ask you then?"

"What?" She frowns in confusion.

"You said you didn't arrive there until you were fifteen or whatever. Where did you come from and why'd you leave?"

I'm actually surprised when she glances at me and shrugs-

"I needed a change, a new place to call home and that was it."

I was honestly expecting- and hoping- for something juicer from her, but she told me without hesitation. Which makes me all the more suspicious about Lan.

She must sense the seed of anticipation she planted in me because she stops me with a strong grip on my arm and stares me dead in the eyes as if she's about to sprout her dying words or something.

"I am serious, Joan, don't bother him about his past. Some people just want their pasts to be left alone, not scrutinized."

"And since when have I ever scrutinized or judged anyone based on their past, huh?" I pull free from her grasp, a little peeved. All this time and they have yet to understand that I don't care about people's pasts or their lifestyle or any of that crap- I just can't give a damn.

"I never said you did," She shoots back. "But you're not the most approachable person."

Now that I can agree with. I'm not the most approachable, but I try to be neutral when it comes to judging people (unless it's something too radical even for me).

"Just promise me you're not going to even hint at it around him," She presses.

"Fine, alright, I won't."

And like that, the conversation is closed. Just in time too as a yelp from up ahead startles us. We hurry to catch up to the other three to investigate, pausing where they have to see what the commotion's all about.

The first thing I see is Lan practically clinging to Chasan, clearly surprised by something (I'm gonna assume that high pitched yelp was him). The second thing I notice is the sight of three separate wooden doors embedded into the hill of a small mound or whatever. The last thing I take note of is what- or rather- who scared Lan.

"What happened?" Nimu asks alarmed.

"Her," Lan points.

All our attention is directed down at- and I do mean down at- a dwarf-sized older woman whose wrinkles even have own wrinkles of their own. Her fizzy looking salt and pepper hair looks more wild and dry than mine- and that's saying something- and her resting face looks like someone who's just ate a whole lemon and pucker sugar. Let's just put it this way, I don't know if she's ever seen some better days. Looking at her now, I can see why Lan jumped back in surprise like he did- I would too.

Before any of us can say anything, she speaks first with a voice that sounds like she smokes a pack an hour and guzzles down a liter of booze every night before bed- if she ever sleeps because those bags under her eyes say otherwise.

"You can't pass, any of you. Turn back now or else risk death."

"Death?" I repeat in bewilderment. "Um...who are you exactly?"

"My name is not important, neither do I care about who you are, just turn back from whence you came and don't look back."

Oh boy, getting through her is going to be a joy, I can see it already.

"Sorry, but can't do," I reply. "We have to get through."

To my surprise, she can make her face even more sourpuss.

As if we don't understand her words, she points a bony finger the other way and harshly repeats.

"Turn back the other way, there's nothing for you here."

This woman's working a nerve. "And I'm telling you that there's no way we're turning back around so scoot along, please and thank you."

Sensing the situation getting a little heated, Dhisnaek steps in like the mature person he is to pacify this childish dispute.

"Forgive us, but we were unaware we could not come this way. As it is, though, we have been guided here and are scheduled somewhere important. There must be some way we can pass."

"I am sure there is, but not through here."

My patience is wearing with this woman, it's only a matter of time.

Chasan pipes up next, gesturing to the doors.

"Well, there must be a way through if there are doors. Why have doors that lead nowhere."

She grimaces at us in distaste. "You all are very unfamiliar with this place it seems. Things in these parts are rarely rationale. Those doors may lead somewhere or nowhere, who knows."

"Wait," Lan says, now recovered from his jumpscare. "You don't know where those doors lead?"

"No, I'd be a fool to try."

"Then how do you know that it wouldn't be worth it to try them and let us through?"

She hardens again and snaps back. "Because I do, now heed my words or else."

Alrighty, I've had it.

"Listen, lady," I boom, towering over her. "We don't have time for this. I don't give a fuck about magical doors, I just know I need to get by and you're in the way. Now please move or I'll move you aside."

Her face gets as beet red as Nora's does when she gets angry, except redder if that's even possible. But before she can snap back at me, Nimu steps into the mix.

"Okay, this isn't getting us anywhere."

"And that's the problem," I seethe.

Nimu ignores me and instead addresses the unreasonable woman.

"Please, if there's any way we can pass then we'll do it. This quest is important and whatever happens to us we'll deal with the consequences. But please, we need your help."

The woman grimaces at us, rubbing her bumpy chin in thought. I resist the urge to rush her in her decision making, instead impatiently waiting.

At last, she makes a guttural groan and heaves one of the heaviest sighs I've ever heard.

"Fine, but don't say I never warned you."

"Thank you," Nimu breathes in relief.

"But there is a catch to these doors," She continues, eying us. "They speak in riddles and two deceive."

There are so many problems with that, but I don't have the time or the care by pointing out any of those problems.

"Okay, cool, we'll figure it out," I said marching past her already.

The others follow behind me as I approach the doors, the woman calling out to us.

"Be warned," She croaks. "If you choose the wrong door then it is certain death."

Rolling my eyes, I reply, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay."

When I happen to glance back, though, I'm startled to notice her gone, almost like she's vanished into thin air. The others notice my confusion and glance behind as well, quickly realizing the same thing I did.

"Whoa, where'd she go?" Lan questions, looking around as if she's just hiding.

Dhisnaek fiddles with the end of his beard in thought. "She must have been a mage."

Guess those are just as common as house flies out here. Whatever, as long as she's out of our hair.

With no one to distract us, we can focus our sole attention on the doors before us.

Nimu frowns, her whiskers twitching as she looks between the three options. "She said two deceive and that they speak in riddles."

"Question is," Chasan begins. "How do doors talk?"

"I suppose you just ask them," Lan shrugs.

"Which one should we pick first?" I ask as I glance at each door.

"We can only choose to go through one," Nimu says.

"Yeah, I know, but we need to start asking riddles."

"Aren't they supposed to ask us the riddles?" Chasan questions.

"Whatever," I shrug. "Same difference. Anywho, someone just pick a door."

Dhisnaek steps up to the plate and approaches the first door, not really sure what else to do but knock.

It doesn't take long for a creaky disembodied voice to make me wonder what I shoulda smoked before coming on this joyride.

"Who goes there?" The door- I'm assuming, as stupid as it sounds- asks.

We all exchange quick, bewildered glance amongst each other before Dhisnaek clears his throat and answers.

"We wish to find the door that does not deceive."

"This I can tell you, beware the third door for he is a liar."

We all stand by, thinking only for a brief second before I decide to go up to the second door and knock.

This time, a lighter voice echoes out.

"Who goes there?"

I pipe up. "Can you tell us your riddle?"

"The first door manipulates the truth."

These are some crappy riddles.

"Okay," I sigh, glancing at the others. "Let's try the last one."

Lan's the closest to the last door so he gives it a knock. Like the other two doors before it, an eerie voice calls out.

"Who goes there?" The gravelly voice asks.

"Can you tell us your riddle?"

"Be warned, the second door pits the first against I."

Welp, guess it's eeny, meeny, miny, moe from here.

With the riddles given to us, I face the others.

"Yeah...I feel dumb as fuck. Anyone got any ideas?"

Lan scratches his head. "It is all a bit confusing. How do we know which two are lying?"

"Well, one of them has to be the right one," Chasan says.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels slow right now- seems we're all a little stumped. I'm looking to Nimu and Dhisnaek to walk us through this 'cuz they just seem like the smartest peeps here.

"I think the third door might be the right one," Nimu begins. "I'm not entirely sure...this is complicated."

"Okay, let's go over these clues," I say. "So the first door told us that the third door is a liar-"

"But the second door said that the first door manipulates the truth," Lan continues.

"And the third claims that the second pits both the third and first against each other," Nimu finishes.

"So is it the second that's the liar?" Chasan asks, running his hand through his hair.

"No..." Nimu says with uncertainty. "It might be the first because why does the second door involve both the first and third?"

"Maybe working in cahoots?" I shrug, trying to sound helpful. I feel like that lump on the log in a group project- I don't have a clue what's going on.

"With who?" Chasan says.

"The first door maybe?" Lan suggests. "Maybe they have a vendetta against the third door."

"Pretty sure doors don't have vendettas against other doors," I reply. "That would be doorist."

While he gives me a confused look, Nimu glances over at the only person who hasn't contributed to this mess we're considering a brainstorm.

"What do you think?" She asks Dhisnaek, who is occupied fiddling with the end of his beard while staring like The Thinker at the ground.

His eyes finally look up at the rest of us, but unlike us, his eyes don't have that WTF look behind them, instead, you can practically see the gears turning in his head.

"We are at a paradox," He begins, eying the doors.

"What?" We ask in unison.

So, he begins like a professor to explain.

"Assuming that the first door is telling the truth, then what the third door is saying has to be false, but if it's false that means the second door isn't deceiving us either."

God, and I thought eight grade algebra was complex.

"Then it's either between the first and second door, right?" Lan questions.

Dhisnaek shakes his head and continues. "Now, we have two 'truthful' doors. Let's examine the second door's claim, that the first door manipulates the truth. Now it seems that we cannot trust the first door."

Nimu at least looks like the gears are turning in her head because my brain is shut down for the summer.

"But," She muses in thought. "If we cannot trust the first door then its premise is false..."

"And therefore the third door speaks the truth," He finishes.

"But if the third one is correct," Chasan says, jumping in. "Wouldn't that also make the second one correct? Only one can be the truthful door."

Like the good professor he is, Dhisnaek nods with a knowing smile. "Exactly my point. It is all a paradox, one that cannot be solved the way it is asked."

"Then how are we supposed to get through if they're all liars?" I ask, starting to stress out from all this smart people talk.

"That," Dhisnaek says, the smiling fading from his face. "Is still a mystery to me."

Lan shrugs. "Perhaps we ought to simply choose one and hope for the best?"

Plan-or-die Nimu is having none of that, though.

"There has to be some way we can figure this out."

"Well guess what," I interrupt. "The sun don't shine forever, so let's cross our fingers and pick a door because we're doing this."

While Nimu squawks in protest, Chasan- for once- jumps abroad my boat and pipes up.

"I don't trust the first door- let's not choose that."

"Agreed," Lan says.

Dhisnaek nods as well, adding, "The second door may not be so certain either."

Seems everyone but Nimu's onboard with this guess method, which doesn't sit well with her but she sucks it up.

Can't lie and say I'm not nervous- especially considering death is a consequence, but I'm doing this for Brent (I'm paying back every solid I owe and will owe).

"Yeah," I nod. "Door two isn't giving me good vibes."

"That leaves the third door as our choice," Chasan says.

We're all a little on edge about this- I mean, we're risking our lives on some guessestimations. At first, no one makes a move until finally, I decide there's no more time to waste and I grip the handle, pulling the door open to reveal a chilling sight. Nothing unnerves me more than staring into a black abyss.

"Well," I swallow, clearing my throat to feign confidence. "You guys ready?"

I get a mixture of uncertain, worried, and alarmed looks, but there's no turning back now. Facing the pitch black unknown, I decide to take the lead and step in first, my palms sweating profusely.

With one foot in the door, I cautiously enter the dark space. Only a second after I step foot in it does the floor beneath my feet give way and leaves me free falling to an unknown fate.