The salty, seaweed foul ocean air is the first thing I breathe in when the world finally stopped spinning. Letting my eyes adjust to my new surroundings, it sounds like sweet victory to hear the waves lapping on the shore.

Before any premature celebrating breaks out, I make sure I have all my limbs and don't have any mutations from eating that apple. So, far, so good though. I guess her apple really did work. I'll have to see how I feel after a few hours; hopefully, there are no drawbacks to this.

"Yes," I fist pump the air. "It worked."

Now what?

What was I supposed to do, swim across the ocean? Typical me not thinking this through all the way and now I'm left here standing on the cusp of greatness but without a boat or any mode of transportation to the other side. Why did I drop that apple (and leave that book)?

"Uh, can I get a little help?" I holler.

In times like this, it would be nice to have God calling out of the sky, but there's no one as far as the eye can see- neither from the east to the west- except a seemingly infinite beach.

"I guess I'm BSing it today."

Motto of my life.

So, how do I plan to get to the other side- a place no one has returned from? Why being resourceful of course.

Scouring the shoreline, I go in search of any wash-up planks or stray rope or rope-like material lying around. But this is nothing at all like the movies depict it- I can hardly find a scrap here. Plus, I'm not the most resourceful builder out here, not to mention I nearly flunked shop because I was goofing around most of the time.

At last, though, I pull a 16-inch plank that washed up on the sand dunes. I mean, I can't make anything major out of it- especially not without tools- but it's a start.

"Alright, can I maybe find some rope now?"

After all that happened before, my guardian angel is nowhere to be found now. To be fair, though, they've probably already resigned from the position after dealing with me for this long.

Marching around on the beach, flinging dried seaweed around while I dig and poke for materials, I can feel myself roasting under the unrelenting sun that fries my back. Heat stroke or not, I am finding a way off this-

"What are you searching for?"

I'm half convinced- honest to God- that jumpscare is part of these people's planetary makeup; like, it's in their DNA.

Despite this slight scare, I recover remarkably well. Well enough to reply- "Buried treasure."

The young man approaches me, not appearing like he heard my curt reply because his face is twisted in confusion.

"Why do you have that?" He asks, pointing to the plank.

"Because I'm building a pirate ship," I return to digging, officially over these sudden, unhelpful interruptions that are so frequent here. It was cool in the beginning but now it's just a burden. Plus, knowing how things have panned out so far, he might even know my parents.

"Well, you can't build a ship like this," He chuckles at me.

I don't even face the guy. "Yeah, well, it's a magical ship, which means I don't need the same materials you do."

When I think I've shut him up, he speaks again.

"If you needed a ship, you should have just asked."

Slapping the sand in frustration, I stand, turning to tell him to his face to fuck off when I'm met with a fist to the face and an explosion of color as I slam into the sand. Colors spin before my eyes until, ultimately, I'm out.

°°°

"Make sure she's steady."

"-the compass."

"Mind yourself, boy, this journey won't be long now."

Oh God, where- what?

The sun burns my eyes as I open them directly looking up at the ball of light. Squeezing them back shut, I groan in discomfort.

Not only does my face hurt (my fucked up face that's already been clocked before), but my back is as stiff as a board, and my flat ass offers no cushioning to the hard surface I'm lying on. The choppy tossing and bobbing also doesn't sit well with me, neither do the grown men yelling like banshees over one another.

"Direction, Montis?"

"To the east, sir."

Where are the Alka-Seltzers when you need them?

From the sound of it, they don't know I'm awake yet. Thinking smart, I continue the charade of sleep while I assess the situation.

Daring to peek an eye open, I take a roaming look at my surroundings. The rocking movement makes sense seeing that I'm in a boat, the yelling and screaming, though, still doesn't make any sense given the fact that we're sailing in nothing more than a sailboat- I mean, come on. There are if I'm counting correctly, four men manning this vessel; one of them I recognize as the jackass who knocked me out, the other three are unfamiliar. To make matters worse, I realize I've been bound. Kidnapped and tied up on a boat in the middle of the ocean.

Okay, not ideal, but I've been in much worse. Plus, this does solve the problem of me not having transportation. In fact...

If I can get myself out of these restraints unnoticed, spring a blitz attack, and take over, I might just have myself a boat to get to the other side. Farfetched idea, sure, but what else do I have to work with?

The key to this plan will be going unnoticed. The moment they suspect I'm up, my cover is blown and there goes my element of surprise. So far, they seem to be a boisterous, unobservant crew.

My hands being tied behind my back proves to be beneficial in the long run because I have more subtly on my side when fighting to undo the tight ropes. Still, I have to be very mindful of my movements, nothing too sudden or jolty.

Jesus, what is this? A Gordian knot?

I'm working up a sweat over this, trying not to get caught while at the same making sure I'm making progress.

As I start grinding my bound wrist against the rough, wooden surface of the boat, I freeze when I hear one of the men- a big, foul looking older man- turn the conversation to me.

"So how much are you betting we can make off this one?"

He nudges my leg with the tip of his shoe.

"I'd say about eleven hundred at the most," A younger ginger with his hair tied back guesses.

The muscular man next to him shakes his head. "We could pass her off for at least two hundred more. Just look at her."

Being talked about like a piece of meat is not sitting well with me. At this point, the rope might just burn off.

The last one to take a guess is the douche that knocked me out in the first place. He tries to rock this harmless, innocent look- the one that he tried playing me with before- but his true colors come out.

"If I saw her before she opened her mouth, I'd say twelve hundred- if merely for her looks. If I had experienced anymore of her sharp mouth, I'm saying seven hundred. Her looks are the only thing that vaguely redeems her."

Genuinely surprised I haven't become the Hulk yet and slammed these fools, I take a breath of fresh air to clear my thoughts of their negative talking and focus on-

Wait, did they say sell? Are they selling me!?

Now, it's time to kick it into overdrive and see how I can free myself before we reach land; I have not a clue when that might be but it's best to stay prepared.

Starting to throw caution to the wind, I grow sloppy and work feverishly to get my hands free.

Come on, come on, come-

Feeling the restraints loosen, a victorious feeling swells in me for several seconds before the moment is destroyed.

"Is she awake?" One of them asks- sounds like Ginger Snap.

I can feel their eyes on me as I try to appear as natural as one can look in moments like these. With my hands free, that small speck of hope is sparked within me and it doesn't take much to make a wildfire out of an ember for me.

"She might be playing us for fools," The leader snarls.

"We ought to test her, make sure she's not deceiving us."

And this sounds like the perfect time to act.

Utilizing my feet, I take down Ginger Snap. My ambush works, I've taken them by surprise. But they quickly come out of their stupor when their comrade makes a splash in the water.

"I knew it," Captain Foulmouth glares, drawing out his sword, reminding me I don't have a clue where my own weapon is. "She's awake."

Right now, it's gotta think fast, gotta act faster.

Muscle Man and Sir Douche are closest to my feet which are near the end of the boat, while Captain Foulmouth is to my right. I have to be strategical with this.

Muscle Man springs first, surprisingly quicker than a man his size might normally move, causing me to act without thought. He lunges like an outstretched panther, but my hard kick to the goodies does him in and he collapses to the side.

It'd be awesome to have my feet free, but I remember as Captain Foulmouth angles his sword at my neck that I have the advantage of my hands. In one fluid motion, I push the tip of his sword aside, roll onto my stomach, then as quickly as possible, push myself up to a wobbly standing position. Since this is the sea and this boat isn't the biggest vessel, not to mention my feet are still tied, I nearly lose my footing but manage to right myself. And just in time, as the Captain takes a jab at me this time.

Without delay, I jump out of harm's way. Hearing a pained scream followed by a splash, I turn around and notice the sword is no longer in his hands. Apparently, as he went full on for me, Ginger Snap was trying to get back in and ended up poking his head up at the wrong time, poor sucker. The Captain looks startled by this, allowing me a new opportunity for another ambush.

Unfortunately, Muscle Man has recovered just enough to pop up again and fling his dagger at me.

First instinct: hold hands defensively up as if made out of steel and hope his aim is shoddy. Genius.

I better thank my lucky stars we're on the choppy sea because that thing just managed to miss my neck as it glides past, striking the wall behind me. Not stupid enough to delay any longer, I claim the dagger and go to cut the rope but am interrupted immediately by the Captain who charges me rampantly- there's definitely some crazy in his eyes (probably wondering how hell I'm ending up so lucky).

"Come here you wretched little-"

All I have to do is roll out of the way, giving him space to tip over the edge of the boat and into the water he goes. The boat's violent rock after the impact gets me to my feet in an instant.

Shocked by his leader falling overboard, Muscles stares while I go on the offensive. Charging at him like Captain just tried to do with me, I go to stab him with his own dagger, but he has other plans in mind.

I mean, all he has to do is step aside and I'm digging my heels into the wood to stop myself before I, too, throw myself overboard.

It's not a complete failure, though. I do manage to stab out Ginger Snap's other, uninjured eye with the dagger before falling over. Poor bastard can't even pull himself on deck without getting his eyes gouged out. He, again, drops into the water with a blood-curdling scream.

Before I have a chance to recover, Muscle Man has wrapped his thick burly arm around my waist and slams me back to the ground like this is a WWE match.

Now that all the air is gone from my lungs, I'm left gasping like a fish out of water, trying to get back into the game when he pins me down under his weight. With his knee dug into my chest, it becomes harder and harder to take a complete breath of air in. From the malicious, twisted grin of pleasure on his face, I'm guessing his master plan to end me is slowly suffocating me under his weight, and so far it's working.

My lungs on fire and splotches of color flash before my eyes, causing panic to set in as I look everywhere to find anything to get me out of this situation. Unfortunately, he's also pinned my hands down so it's going to be no help even if I do find something to get him off.

There's only one viable option left.

Summoning my projectile ability, I compile all my mucusy spittle then aim, spitting it square in his face.

Like I was hoping for, he recoils and begins to retaliate. But just as he raises his heavy hand to slap me, he frees my right hand and loosens his grip on the other, giving me the opportunity to go for his goodies again, this time pinching down with no mercy. He howls like a wolf pup, leaping up, granting air back into my lungs.

Rolling out from under him, I sputter and cough, but just as I'm regaining my breath, he goes for my neck with his big meaty hands, causing me to duck at the last minute.

There's some bad luck associated with this boat and trying to climb back in (either that or my guardian angel just came back from their lunch break), that's the only way I can explain how as Captain Foulmouth is trying to get back in, he's assaulted by Muscles who doesn't realize his error until they're both flying over the edge.

When they fall out, I'm half afraid the boat will capsize, but control is regained and soon all is still and I dare to breathe.

"Finally."

Since I plunged the dagger into Ginger's eye, I have nothing to cut myself free with. Going to fiddle with the rope, my mind is so focused on the task that I'm taken by surprise when I look up to be staring at the tip of a sword. That's when I realize Sir Douche hasn't been dealt with yet.

"You're clever," He comments amusingly. "Either that or you're lucky."

Scoffing with a smirk, I coolly reply as if I'm not in danger of being killed still. "I don't believe in luck."

He returns my smirk. "What a shame."

"Yes, what a real shame."

We watch each other with amused smirks until finally, I act.

I make a quick move to the left in order to avoid his sword, but he's just as quick and pins me to the ground by the fabric of my shirt.

"Shit!"

Using my legs now, I kick at him, this time successful in my attempts. He falls to his knees but the sword still has me pinned. Scrambling, I try to pull it out but he goes for it first, so I kick him again and he, not learning his lesson, gets knocked back completely now. Trying the sword now, I'm victorious.

Now the ball's in my court.

"Alright," I stand over him, pointing the sword at his neck. "You're going to untie me completely and then get off this-"

Or so I thought I had control.

He adapts my leg attack method and knocks me down. Seeing as I don't have an ass, it hurts as my tailbone becomes acquainted with the floor.

"Son of a b-"

While I'm discombobulated, he tries to steal the sword back from me, but quickly finds out once I have a grip on something you might as well kiss that item goodbye.

"Release it," He orders, his voice strained as he tries to pry my fingers from the hilt.

"Fuck off."

We battle over the shiny weapon until I'm yanked up, still having a death grip on the handle, and flung to the side. It's still not enough to get me off- I simply fly with it.

Now, I can tell he's a little more than annoyed at my ability to hold on for so long. But he makes a defeating flaw. If my grip is boa strong, my feet should be registered as lethal weapons.

"If you do not release this sword, may the Fates save you, I will-"

He never saw it coming. With one knock-out blow to the head, he's down for the count and I'm free to cut myself loose.

While I free myself, I keep an eye out for any of the overboard members (though I'm highly convinced poor Ginger is fish food by now). When they never re-emerge, I think little of it. So what? I now have it under my belt that I've "killed" three men and knocked out one. One I kind of need to figure out what to do with actually.

There is a fuck you part of me that wants to just dump his unconscious body overboard with his scumbag buddies, but stepping back for once to view the bigger picture I don't know how to steer a boat of any kind and there's no time for trial and error. So, as much as it kills me, I might need Sir Douche's help...at least while he proves to be useful.

Still out cold from my powerful kick to the head, I find some extra rope to tie him up with. I'm not a Girl Scout by any means so the sloppy knot I call restraints will have to do.

"Alright, look at me," I lean against the steer. "Kickin' ass, takin' prisoners, hijacking boats."

If I wasn't racing to save Brent, this might actually be a kickass adventure.

For the time that Sir Douche is out, I figure out how to steer the ship straight towards what I hope is Pyranaleath'tai. By the time I find my own sword and get the ship in order, Sir Douche is waking up and quickly discovering that karma's a you-know-what.

"Wha- what have you done?" He squirms, trying to get out of his restraints. "Where are you taking me? Answer me!"

Glancing over at him, unmoved by his disgruntled demands, I answer. "That's for me to know and you to find out."

Not satisfied with my answer, he fidgets some more. "Where are you taking me? I want answers. You will not-"

Pointing my weapon, and his, at him, I sigh.

"Look, I've never steered a boat so you're going to help me. In return for your help in getting me from point A to point B, I'll give you your boat and not toss you overboard tied up. Deal?"

Huffingly, he looks away from me like a child whose dignity is threatened.

"I do not make deals with vagabonds."

"Vagabond? Says the guy who was trying to sell me a few minutes ago."

He scoffs but doesn't make a comeback.

"Look," I sigh. "Either you help or you're going to have to learn to swing tied up, it's your choice."

"You wouldn't toss me overboard," He sneers.

"Is that a challenge I hear? You're even dumber than you look. First rule, never underestimate your opponent- believe me, sweetie, I can learn to steer this boat by myself."

"Then do it."

Oh, this is a challenge. He wants to call my bluff and try to take control of the situation. Newsflash for him, though, this is not a democracy or oligarchy, this is a dictatorship and I have the reins right now.

"Okay," I shrug.

The biggest struggle is trying to drag his body to the side of the boat, but I manage even with him acting as dead weight. I think he still thinks I'm joking, but I don't play games like this- not with life or death- though I am kind of hoping he relents because I'm not looking to become a murderer.

Heaving him up by the torso, he starts to take shit a bit more seriously when his head is touching the water. The only thing I have to do is push his feet in and he's like lead.

"Okay, okay, deal, I'll make a deal!"

Looking down at him nonchalantly, I shake my head. "Oh no, that's not how this works. I gave you a chance and you blew it. Now you're going to have to live with the consequences. Thanks for the boat, by the way."

"No, no, no!" He tries to lift up high enough to get back in, but with his hands tied behind his back, it's near impossible. "I-I promise- I swear on my mother's deathbed that I will listen and help you. Please, just don't-don't let me drop, please, by the Fates don't let me-"

"Hmm, I don't know..."

This is just too much fun. Not defending what dictators do to their people, but I understand the thrill of it.

While he whimpers and begs some more, I soak it all in before acting as though I finally change my mind.

"Okay, alright, quit the sniveling," I say as I pull him back in.

Falling on the ground, he lets out the hugest sigh of relief I've ever heard. Chuckling, I return to the steer, continuing to taunt him.

"Not a fan of swimming?"

Groaning, he rolls over on his back, still calming himself down after working himself up into a panic. "Who are you?"

I think about whether or not I should tell him who I am, but I figure if he's helping me reach Pyranaleath'tai he might as well know my true identity.

"Name's Joan. Who are you? I would continue calling you Sir Douche but it'll get tiring after a while."

"Chasan."

Adjusting the steer, I stare out into the great blue unknown.

"Do you mind loosening these ropes, just a little?" He asks, trying to sit up now. "They're much too tight."

"I wasn't born yesterday."

"For the Fates' sake! You are the most stubborn, most callous individual I've met."

Grinning, I shoot him a cheeky wink that confuses him further. "Thanks, I consider that an achievement."

Growling, he pounds on the ground with his feet.

"Could you grow a heart and grant me this one kindness before I have to suffer you the rest of the way?"

"If it'll shut you up, gladly."

Okay, so I might have overdone it a little with the double knots, I'll give him that. It takes a little while before I'm able to loosen them a little and give his fingers back their color. Relieved, he sighs and nods gratefully at me.

"Thank you."

Returning to the steer, I squint into the distance. After several minutes, he starts asking questions.

"Where are you trying to go?"

Still transfixed at sea, I reply. "Have you ever heard of a place called Pyranaleath'tai?"

"No," He frowns. "I don't believe I have. Where is it?"

"The other side of Edalirwen."

This warrants a bit of laughter from him.

"The other side of- please, tell me where you're really headed."

"Do I look like I'm lying?"

"You sound like you are. There is no such thing as the other side of Edalirwen. There is Edalirwen and nothing else."

"Sure, keep telling yourself that."

"It's the truth. No one has ever explored the other side of Edalirwen and returned."

"It's always a good time to make history."

Adamantly, he shakes his head. "No, no, you can gamble with your life, but you're not gambling mine away with this foolish voyage."

"Welcome to the Republic of Joan, government: dictatorship."

He continues to bitch about this.

"Look," I approach him. "It'll be okay, nothing bad will happen."

"How do you know?" He asks me blatantly.

"Because I just do, it's common sense actually. I mean, not everyone that travels there dies, it's just not mathematically possible."

He eyes me skeptically. "I'm not convinced."

Turning away, I return to the steer and lean against it, playing with the swords in my hand.

"That sounds like a personal problem. You're going to have to trust me."

Scoffing again, he looks away. "Trust you? You are the last person I will ever place my trust in, that is a guarantee."

"Can I get that as a button or something?" I sharpen the swords against each other. "Look, new rule: you don't talk unless I ask you something and I don't talk to you unless you're dying of an emergency, got it?"

Grumbling, he rolls his eyes but replies mockingly. "Yes, your Majesty."

"I prefer the title, Excellent Supreme Leader."

As he groans, I secretly grin. I know this might be a long journey with an uncertain destination- a destination that's considered a myth. Oh, yeah, this is going to be an absolute joyride.