Seeing as I wasn't expecting him home so early, I'm completely thrown for a loop, but we're both on the same page because he looks absolutely bewildered as to what's going on. I mean, it's fair, I would too if I saw my kid acting like they just hit a blunt with some strange guy who could pass as a hippie in my backyard.

"Hey, dad," I smooth my hair back, trying to look civilized and nonchalant. "When'd you get home?"

It appears neither Brent nor mom told him about our "guest" (don't know how that managed to happen, or, rather, not happen) because he's clearly surprised by Dhisnaek's presence.

Ignoring my question, he cuts straight to the chase, narrowing his eyes at Dhisnaek, who is now out of his comfort zone.

"Who are you?"

It makes sense why he's a bit guarded and hostile, but I'm sure Dhisnaek is picking up these vibes and I need to bring back the feel-good vibes.

Quickly get up, I hop off the trampoline and go over to him.

"Someone important," I say, trying to put a more casual mood back in place. "You kinda ruined the surprise by barging in..."

My ruse is so not working on him. He continues to eye down Dhisnaek but addresses me again.

"Where's your mother?"

"Inside. She knows about this, I swear." Why she didn't stop you before this I don't know.

Before he can respond to that, Dhisnaek finally manages to find his voice.

"I'm sorry if I surprised you by my being here," He begins, slowly getting off the trampoline, unease and worry clouding his features. "My name is Dhisnaek."

My dad is not going to lower his defenses until he figures out what's going on- makes me think if I should drop the bombshell or let Dhisnaek- but he's choking right now so I dunno...

"Joan, go get your mother."

"What for? She already knows about this." I don't think I should leave Dhisnaek out to dry.

He gives me that look, the one that tells me I'm being difficult. "Joan."

"Dad, just don't jump to conclu-"

"Go inside, Joan."

Just as things are getting a little dicey, Dhisnaek cuts in.

"If I may. I don't mean to cause any strife or tension, but if you would allow me to impart a story of sorts- a common čakr where I am from. If you still are distrustful of me after that then I will go my way."

Seeing as my dad is very closed off already, I take the bait, genuinely curious to where Dhisnaek is taking this.

"I like stories," I jump, not glancing at my dad.

Flashing me a subtle, grateful smile, Dhisnaek clears his throat.

"There once was a man who lived in a beautiful country, in a beautiful dwelling, with a beautiful wife and many beautiful children. But this man was very unpleasant to the eye. Though he lived a beautiful life, he was a hideous man whose face could frighten any soul. Although he was a heinous monster of a man, he had many friends and lived a wonderful life. How is this so?" It wasn't what I was expecting when he said the word "story", but I still found it interesting- I'm just clenching my ass cheeks that my dad did as well. But, as I should have known, my dad isn't one to play along with philosophical questions or hypotheticals.

"And that is your story?" He replies coldly.

Surprisingly, this causes Dhisnaek to smile a bit to himself before looking at him again.

"Aye, your mother said the same when I first told her."

Dhisnaek's smoother than I'd thought- seems he didn't need much help from me with spilling the beans.

For the first since coming out here, my dad's demeanor changes. What Dhisnaek said has clearly thrown him, and my dad's not one to have the rug pulled out from under his feet. Recovering, but still taken back, he approaches Dhisnaek, studying him even harder than before.

"You cannot possibly have known my mother."

"I did," He nods, looking a little forlorn at the thought. "I didn't know her as long as I would have wished-"

"What was her name?" He challenges.

"Aelita. Aelita Domshov," He replies wistfully. "A name I will never forget."

Again, my dad is never, ever thrown for a loop- and if he is, he never shows it- but there's a first for everything. He's still suspicious of Dhisnaek, but in a completely different way now, almost like that kid in math who sees a problem explained but is still bewildered by it.

As I stand beside him, I give him a sheepish grin.

"I told you he was someone important."

Now completely lost, my dad questions him again.

"Who are you?"

"I never knew you and you never knew me," Dhisnaek begins. "It sounds unusual: a father not knowing his son and a son not knowing his father, but that appears to be our predicament."

I finally understand what Brent was getting at when he mentioned studying my dad's eyes in order to gauge his emotions because for once, his eyes are speaking loud and clear- he doesn't know how to respond to that.

For several moments, no one says or does anything- it just has to sink in this sort of mind-blowing information. Dhisnaek seems relieved to finally have gotten it off his chest, but he's still wary of how my dad's going to react. I don't know if I should say anything to break the ice so I wait in silence, glancing between them. My dad is in deep thought, like momentous thought. At last, he breaks the silence.

"I don't understand," He begins. "You would have to be from Edalirwen in order to know my mother..."

"And I am originally from Edalirwen," He nods. "The mountainous region, but for the last near four decades of my life I've resided in Pyranaleath'tai."

I swear, all these explanations are only confusing him more.

"Pyranaleath'tai?"

"Yes, or as most know it as, the other side of Edalirwen."

While my dad tries to process that tidbit of information, Dhisnaek gestures to me.

"I have your daughter to thank for finding me- it was near fortune how we came across each other."

As my dad looks at me, I grin and shrug again.

"You went to Edalirwen?" He questions me.

"Well, I spent most of my time in Pyranaleath'tai, but yeah, I popped by there for a sec. Brent went too."

More like we were dragged there, but same difference.

Since I know what it feels like to be overwhelmed by information (my whole experience with school), I decide to stop mentioning new things. In fact, I decide that in order to help this go a little smoother, I should dip inside and give them some privacy.

"Yeah, so, I should probably be helping mom and Brent prep dinner- or catch up on some TV or whatever- so I'mma head inside."

But they seem a little uneasy to see me go. Dhisnaek it makes sense- he's already a bundle of nerves- but I'm not sure why my dad's so hesitant. Regardless, they're just going to have to figure it out because I'm already trotting back inside.

Looking at it, I wouldn't want to be in their shoes. It's daunting having to sort all that out, but I hope they come to some resolution because I really like Dhisnaek, he's chill and gets me.

When I went back inside, I went straight into the family and sat my ass down to watch some TV (I mean, were we really expecting me to help out with dinner?). I do eventually help Brent set the table as my mom finishes up with her pizza casserole- and yes, it's as good as it sounds. At this point, I haven't heard boo from my dad and Dhisnaek who are still outside so I'm assuming everything is cool.

Once dinner's done, my mom sends Brent out to call them in, but he comes back a few seconds later and announces-

"They're still talking."

That's a good sign...hopefully. Brent didn't make it sound like they were arguing or in a heated debate so that's good.

"Oh, okay," Mom says. "We can wait for them, they shouldn't be too much longer."

My mom's such an optimist sometimes, it's lovely.

Sunset is on the horizon and they still haven't come in yet. Mind you, sunset in summer comes at, like, midnight and they started talking when the sky was still bright blue. Whenever Brent or I go to peek out the window, lo and behold they're still talking. I can't judge what they're talking about, but they're deep into it and unconcerned about anything else.

Eventually, thank God, my mom gets the idea and we sit down to eat without them. By the time we're finished, surprise, surprise, they're still out there, unbothered by the approaching dusk (or potential mosquitos coming out).

"What do you think they're talking about?" I ask Brent as we sit on the couch, glancing out the window that faces the backyard.

He shrugs while channel surfing. "A lot of stuff."

"Like what?"

"Well, when you never knew about each other for thirty-eight years, I'm sure there's everything in the universe to talk about." Briefly glancing at him, the TV, then back out the window, I rest my chin on a pillow that I've balanced on my knees that are pulled up to my chest.

"Yeah, true that..."

I'm a slightly nosy creature so it's kinda bugging me not knowing what they're talking about, but they definitely needed this one-on-one time.

Eventually, just as dusk is dying and the stars are coming out, they finally come inside. Brent's fallen asleep on the couch while watching some Adventure Time reruns and I'm hanging out with my mom in the dining room playing the card game War. It's a back-and-forth game, but this round I'm losing pretty bad so I'm relieved when I hear the sliding door open and close.

It's hard to grasp the overall mood when I head into the hallway to meet them because they don't really say much. Dhisnaek, though, doesn't seem as rattled as before. My dad, as usual, is a closed book.

"You guys were out there for a while," I comment, leaning in the doorway.

"There was much to discuss," Dhisnaek replies thoughtfully.

Vague, but it makes sense.

My mom comes from the kitchen, letting them know that there are still leftovers (colder than a corpse at this point). Mom tells me to go help Dhisnaek with the microwave and everything, but as I pass by her, I can see the wordless exchange my parents are giving each other. I've never understood their nonverbal cues- they always seem to change- so I can't gather any info about what my dad might possibly be thinking right now.

Not to worry, I still have Dhisnaek to turn to for answers, and I do as I plate him some casserole and pop it in the microwave.

"So..." I begin, pressing start then facing him. "How'd it go?"

I'm crossing my fingers that I'm not proven a liar and that there really was nothing to worry about.

He seems tired, but not defeated, which is a good side.

"It went..." He searches for the right word but then shakes his head to start over. "It was not what I was expecting- or hoping for- but it was not bad. It is a start, and even with all my pretenses, that is all I have ever hoped for, a start."

I don't wanna be too intrusive and stick my whole nose in their business by asking for details, but I'm curious as to what they talked about for so long.

Checking the countdown on the microwave, I look at him again. "I was getting a little concerned. You guys were out there for a while, I didn't know whether that was good or bad or what."

"No, it was fine. I am relieved he at least took the time to hear me out."

"Yeah, my dad's fair like that."

After a brief pause, Dhisnaek chuckles softly to himself. "You know, you were right-"

"I really am going to miss hearing these words so often. Can I just record them for future reference?"

"-your father has a certain way about him."

I grin. "Yeah, it's cool, right?"

As the food finishes heating and Dhisnaek sits down to eat, I wander back into the family room where Brent is still zonked and cruise through the infinite channels. My parents probably snuck off somewhere to chat privately, but it isn't long before I hear them coming downstairs again. My mom tells me to set up the couch for Dhisnaek tonight, so I get to kicking Brent off, leaving him to groggily grumble as he slowly wanders upstairs to probably turn in early for the night. After setting the room up, I plop back to watch TV some more before being joined by Dhisnaek.

We don't say much as I flip between channels, waiting for the adult swims to come on. Eventually, I settle for watching a mindless movie for the time being. Despite being an alien to this technology, I think Dhisnaek is too whipped to give a damn about all this modern crap, and I don't blame him- he starts to doze off soon too.

While everyone else heads to bed, turning off all the lights in the house, and the time grows later, I remain wide-awake- despite my body's protest- because in the back of my mind lurks the truth that in the morning I'm going to have to bring all that I learned about in Edalirwen and Pyranaleath'tai to my dad, and, for the first time in my life, I'm not sure if I'm ready to hear the truth.

°°°

If I was a better daughter, I'd let the events of yesterday settle before I come to my dad with more, overwhelming information, but I practically tossed and turned all night thinking about all the dirt I learned in Edalirwen and Pyranaleath'tai. I need to talk to my dad pronto. So, like the early bird I am, I wake up before the sun has even risen and head out for a quick jog through the neighborhood- I'm hoping it helps with some of the jitters that have seemed to come alive overnight. Bursting out into the crisp, chilly air of the morning, I attempt to clear my head.

God, I hate feeling like this. I don't know how anxious-prone people do this on the daily, it's so much effort to feel needlessly stressed.

As the sun begins to take its place in the sky, I return to home and take a seat on the porch before heading inside. With each new ray of light, the air and sky continue to warm as morning dawns. Though my jog did relieve me, I know that it was only a temporary fix. Soon, the same knot in my stomach comes back in full force.

I sit on the porch until I feel like my body's gonna explode, finally heading inside where I find Dhisnaek awake in the kitchen with my mom.

While they both greet me good morning, I get straight to the point.

"Where's dad?" I ask my mom.

She gives me a look. "Where else? He's still asleep. Why?"

I'm already bounding up the steps as I reply. "I need to talk to him."

Heading into my parents' room, I don't bother knocking and instead go over to my dad's side of the bed, nudging him awake.

"Hey, dad. Dad."

"What?" He's a slow waker, like Brent.

"We need to talk."

He lets out a low groan. "Go talk to your mother."

I stop nudging him and cross my arms as I rock on my heels, my stress building.

"No, I need to talk to you. It's kinda important."

There's a brief pause before he stifles a yawn and glances at me. I guess he can tell how tense I am because he sits up and asks-

"What's wrong?"

I can't explain it here, I just know I can't. Although I know I'm being difficult, I can't help it.

"Let's go for a walk."

Though I'm already turning on my heels and heading out the room, I know he knows what I mean- he's said it countless times to me before.

I head downstairs to wait on the porch for him. Thankfully, he doesn't take long to join me as he only threw on a light jacket (but hey, I'm still in my sweaty jogging clothes), and we start off. My dad being himself doesn't ask me any further questions until we arrive at the picnic table.

Our butts barely touch the top of the table before I'm already jumping the gun.

"I don't know what to think." I begin, trying to explain how I'm feeling while at the same time trying to process what I'm going to say as it's already coming out. "I thought I knew everything, but then it turns out that I didn't and now I'm over here looking stupid. I feel stupid and left out of the loop and, I dunno, a little betrayed."

Always in his calm, steady manner, my dad doesn't interrupt until the time to speak has come.

"Why?"

It's a simple question with a pseudo-simple answer that I reply to quite blankly.

"You."

Though he remains composed as always, I can tell I've confused him a bit. Just as he's opening his mouth to ask his next question, I power through it.

"You never told us about Edalirwen, about how you and mom actually met, about the people you knew, about your family- you guys never told us that. You never told us about your past."

He grows quiet, a very different kind of quiet. The kind you know never signifies anything good.

"And," I pause, thinking about how I'm going to phase this next part before diving right in as usual. "I heard somethings in Edalirwen and Pyranaleath'tai about you and your past...it just kinda...confuses me."

My dad's an open book for interpretation now. He's clearly uneasy about the territory I'm heading into, which makes me nervous about proceeding, but I don't waste time.

"Just gonna make this simple by saying there was this guy named Tymos who had a thing against me because he had a thing against you. He showed me things from the past about you...being the king, and it wasn't...it wasn't good."

I need to stop half-assing the real question here. And so, taking a quick mental breath, I force myself to look him square in the eyes for what I ask next.

"Did you kill people for no reason?" Those words don't even sound like they're coming from me. 

"Were you a tyrant?"

God, I never thought I'd have to ask anyone that, let alone my dad- my usually level-headed, disciplined dad.

The silence that stretches on for several prolonged seconds, paired with his fierce and sudden aversion to meet my eyes, speaks volumes- I don't even need a verbal answer from him.

So for a moment, we sit in the uncertain silence, with him not meeting my eyes and me staring straight ahead into the distance, trying to figure out how I feel about this, while at the same time thinking about where to go from here.

I can't handle silence- especially this kind- for long, so I ask the burning question on my mind.

"Is it too much to ask why?" My voice quiet as I look at him, my chin resting on my knuckles.

Again, a long stretch of silence passes, but this time he actually replies. He still won't look at me though, and his voice is lower than usual.

"I was young and angry. There is no proper excuse, but those are the main reasons."

It's odd how cheery the birds sound around us while we're sitting here having one of the hardest conversations I've ever had with my dad- I'm so used to us being able to freely talk.

I'm not one to question things as much, but I can't help it today.

"Why were you angry?"

Though there's a lull again, it's not as long.

"I was angry about the things I couldn't control."

"Like what?" I ask genuinely.

He sighs, letting another several seconds drag by.

"Many things that I shouldn't have."

I can tell he's not going to give me a straight answer on this so I drop it. And so the silence engulfs us again, like a shadow on a sunny day.

"What made you change?" I ask staring at the ground briefly before looking at him again.

This time, he doesn't skip a beat.

"Your mother. She gave me a new direction."

Nodding, I return my gaze to the ground, studying my feet. As I look down, a sudden glimpse blinds me. Reaching for the offending object, I realize it's the ring which I keep around my neck, the ring my dad gave me at this very spot. Glancing between my dad and the ring for several seconds, I finally take it off, gripping it in my hand for another silent stifling moment before scooting closer to him.

"Hold out your hand," I tell him.

Before he can question me like I already begin to hear him doing, I cut him off.

"Just do it, okay. Hold out your hand."

At last, he complies and holds out his hand, not quite expecting anything from the look of it, so when I drop the ring into his hand, string attached, he's surprised by this. Finally, he lifts his eyes from the ground and looks at the ring in his hand, already shaking his head.

"I gave this to you," He says, trying to give it back to me. "It's now in your possession."

But I refuse to take it back, defiantly shaking my head.

"You know, someone once told me that it was supposed to remind me who I am, who I really am. I can't really remember who, but they're a pretty wise person 'cause I finally remembered who I am." I can feel him watching me even as I briefly squint up at the bright sky, my eyes meeting his when I look away. "And I remembered that I'm me- if that makes sense, which I'm sure it doesn't- and that everything else that labels me is awesome, but I'm okay being just me."

Man, I sound so much more philosophical than I actually am, but everything I said is true. Me being me, it took a whole life-threatening journey to come to that conclusion which I already thought I had concluded but hadn't actually applied until now.

If I wasn't the fastest girl in Cauldron then I'd be okay with that because I'm still so much more; a sister who tries her hardest to be the best, a friend that's forever loyal and makes others laugh, a teammate that's going to try to be more of a team player, a daughter that makes her family proud.

When I look at my dad, I can see the full picture of him now, the answer to why he is who he is. Yes, he was a tyrant, but the keyword is was. With this new perspective, I can see how everything he does relates to trying to redeem himself of his past- he's who he is because of it, for better or worse.

Finally, I can see a subtle glimpse of a smile from him, making me smile. He studies his ring in his hand.

"You seemed to have gained some wisdom in such a short period."

I shrug. "Eh, maybe all your picnic wisdom has finally sunken in."

At last, I get his usual subdued smile that makes me grin in relief. My dad's not a big physically affectionate person, so as he drapes an arm over my shoulder pulling me closer, it means a lot to me, but the words that follow are the world to me.

"I'm proud of who you are, I want you to know that."

It's stupid, but I have to blink a few times to keep back the tears, subtlety clearing my throat to respond.

"Thanks, dad."

There's still so much left ahead of us, but hey, that's life, all I know is that whatever comes at me, I've got this. I don't need to break it or fake it because I can make it, I am Joan Domshov and I was born for this.