THE BEAM OF LIGHT that caressed Nicole's face caused her eyelids to gradually flutter open. Even under the warmth of the comfy blanket she had acquired from some passersby the previous week, she could feel the icy chill of the freshly fallen snow on her skin. The Fraser girl smiled, recalling how desperate Joel had been for some coffee when they ran into those people, and a slight giggle escaped her lips. Her silent laughter was dispelled by a forceful knock on the door, completely jarring her awake.

          "Shit, I'm coming!" Nicole's voice reverberated as she absently rubbed the back of her neck. Maria's voice immediately propelled her upright, her response causing the girl to spring into action. She hastily slipped on the jeans and sweater draped across the chair, quickly scanning the room for the other items she'd need — guns, ammo, and her backpack. Nicole's attention darted around the room to confirm that everything else she needed was there.

          "Whatcha doing? Jesse's been waiting," When the Miller woman stepped through the door, she was immediately taken aback by her daughter's haste; clothes, granola bars, and random items were flying in every direction as Nicole shoved them swiftly into her backpack. Confusion etched its way onto her face as she looked on, her brow creasing in bewilderment. "I, uhm, told Jesse to come in so he's not dying of cold out there — if that's why you're rushing like that. You can take your time."

     The blonde girl perched on the edge of her bed, putting on her black boot, "I'm okay, mum," she assured her, her fingers busy knotting the laces. "I don't want to make him wait anyway. Besides, we have to go to and grab Ellie with us, too," Nicole sighed, "Has dad left on patrol already?" Her inquisitive gaze wondered.

     Despite her intentions to remain collected, Maria felt her insides brimming with happiness and her heart overflowing with joy as she heard her daughter address Tommy as "dad". Despite all the trials Nicole had been through because of Maria's own decisions, the young girl felt secure and contented with the newfound father figure in her life. The name change had only occurred months prior, but her daughter had already come to accept him much earlier than that.

          "Yeah," she gave Nicole a quick nod. "He's with Joel, they're clearing out the lodge. Has Ellie spoken to you or Joel recently? She seemed pretty upset with him last n—"

     Nicole only gave a slight shake of her head in response, then her gaze lingered back on her black boots. "Nothing important," she cut her mother off.

          "Alright, alright." As she traced the scars on her hips with her eyes, Maria remembered that sorrowful reality only the two of them shared. Nicole had been assaulted by multiple men while attempting to escape FEDRA, and ever since Maria had known, it was a continuous concern that bothered her thoughts.

     Maria Miller's choice of building this settlement and ensuring a safe life for Jackson's residents over her newborn daughter had caused a turmoil of emotions within her. She couldn't think of the people she had helped, not anymore, not since she had found out about Nicole's abuse. The woman felt responsible for what had happened to her, and now regret and guilt were etched on her expression every time she thought of the decision she'd made eighteen years ago.

     Thanks to her strength, Nicole showing up at the gate without being shot or bitten was a gift from God himself. Had Atlas Fraser displayed enough concern for little Nicole, her life could have been completely different, perhaps even better. But with her daughter remaining in Fedra, the end result would have likely been her death, which only meant one thing — that she was stronger than Maria had ever imagined.

          "Alright, honey," a distinct shift appeared in her features, her words followed by a sigh. "I'm heading to the bar. Seth wants to apologize to Ellie for last night."

     Nicole shot her mother an apprehensive look, an uncertain and tense hint of a smile flickering across her face as her mind considered Maria's words. Was it anger or envy that prompted her seemingly-cocky quip? She wanted to pass her reaction off as a smirk, but Nicole couldn't be sure if it worked. "Ellie doesn't give a shit about apologies," Nicole proclaimed, as though trying to make a point that she nor Joel had been successful in earning her forgiveness. "He shouldn't bother," she concluded. "Besides, he's an asshole."

     Maria advanced cautiously toward Nicole and zipped up her jacket. In a low whisper, she said, "Be safe out there, okay?" With her warm hands, she cradled Nicole's face and their eyes connected. She saw in her a brave, resilient woman who could finally begin and find the tranquillity she had longed for.

ੈ✩

     A GROAN ACCOMPANIED the roll of her eyes as she asked, "I don't think I'm the person Ellie wants to see first thing in the morning," Nicole jerked her head in the direction of the redhead's little garage.

          "We're still going to the stables together. It's literally the same thing," Jesse pounded on Ellie's door. As he waited, he took a moment to glance down at his friend — who was much smaller than him but taller than Dina, maybe a little shorter than Ellie. "You look good today," he complimented her, the corners of his mouth turning up in a slight smile before he winked at her. "Don't blush. I was just being nice."

     A wrinkle of surprise materialized on Nicole's forehead without warning. Although her confusion over his unexpected words had manifested in an uncontrollable frown, she managed to turn the corners of her mouth into a shy smile. It couldn't seem to fully override her puzzled look, "Well, someone's in a good mood today. That's why it took me so long to get downstairs," she jested, elbowing him lightly. The gesture was not lost on him; another warm grin grew on his face as his arm leaned against the doorframe. "But thanks. You're not so bad yourself."

          "Oh, yeah, definitely," Jesse chuckled. "The clickers are gonna love us. Who knows, maybe they won't attack either," his remark brought a wave of laughter between them. "Oh, and by the way, since we'll be spending some time together today, I think you should explain to me what's going on between you and Ellie." After a few moments, he let out an exhale as if it had taken a lot of courage for him to speak up about this. Despite her slight unease regarding Ellie, Nicole felt nothing within her, no tension coursing through her veins, no panic rising from the depths of her stomach. Perhaps last night had actually changed something inside her. "It's getting a little tiring for me and Dina, always trying to guess what has gone between you two. She is worried about you both. And I am too."

     She had an immense desire to share this huge secret with Jesse, one of her closest friends since Ellie's decision. But Nicole couldn't just spill the beans like it wasn't the biggest secret she had ever known — and one of the burdens she'd been given to carry, because it was hard to live with that. 

     The expression on her face shifted abruptly from carefree joy to an unsettling, anxious frown, "We'll talk about it, okay?" Jesse, being very intuitive, detected the mood change in her without delay, but thankfully, Ellie had opened the door right before Nicole was pressed to give any more answers.

         "Hey," the redhead spoke with a slight sigh, two familiar faces greeting her. Nicole couldn't help but notice the exchange of looks between them; the Williams girl was clearly trying to find out Jesse's reason for bringing the Fraser girl along and the blonde could feel her disapproval radiating off of her. It was as if she was trying to silently ask Jesse, 'Why the hell did you bring her with you?'

           "Morning!" he exclaimed, offering Ellie a friendly smile and breaking any eye contact that had been going on. The young man waved cheerfully at Ellie, indicating that he was keen to break any awkwardness that'd been lingering between the three of them. 

          "Sorry, I totally overslept. Just gimme a minute, and I'll get dressed. Hi, Nick." Ellie simply nodded in Nicole's direction before forcing a smile, her gaze simply drifting back to Jesse as his comment made its way to her ears. The man rested his left hand on the outside wall as he peeked inside.

          "I heard you had quite a night after I left."

           "I...," Ellie faltered in her attempt to speak, her spine quivering from the chill in the air. The trio felt a shift in the atmosphere, as the tension from their encounter was now replaced by an immense sense of awkwardness. Her eyes seemed to wander and then landed on Nicole's, slightly in desperation, as if Ellie wanted someone to rescue her. Fear of Jesse's potential reaction weighed heavily on her, yet, the Williams girl wanted the incident to remain buried. But when Nicole peered into Ellie's hunter-green eyes, she could tell that the truth was bubbling beneath the surface, communicating her underlying desire to unto everything from her brain. Taking a deep breath, the redhead reluctantly uttered. "She kissed me. It was just Dina being Dina. She didn't mean anything by it."

     A frown made its way up to the man's face, his lips a little parted before he decided to speak. The anger mixed with some confusion could definitely be read on Jesse's face, "I was talking about your fight with Seth...," he remarked, another huge frown displaying on his face. "Wait...you kissed Dina?"

     Ellie's lashes flipped fully open, revealing a look of surprise on her face. Nicole couldn't help but bite her lower lip in frustration — she hated that she had to remember it all and play it in her head, but at the same time, she felt a little at ease that Ellie had been trying to find a little comfort in her presence, despite the underlying tension between them. But if she wanted to be fully honest with herself, they both knew it wasn't animosity that had been lingering between them. There was something else, "I thought that's -" Ellie's voice trailed off.

          "We're broken up one week and you make a move on my girl?" Jesse shot back.

          "No...," the redhead's voice dulled down to a whisper, "She was probably trying to make you jealous, I didn't...I would never...," The girl shifted her weight uneasily from one foot to the other, "Oh, fuck, this is awkward." 

     A smile leaned on half of Jesse's mouth, "I'm messing with you, man. I don't care. Get dressed."

     Nicole's mouth hung open in shock as her gaze flew between Ellie and Jesse. She should have anticipated it; after all, he had always been one to crack bad jokes at inappropriate times. Her body eased its tautness as Ellie groaned in frustration, "Ugh, you are the worst!" Her words did not halt Jesse's arm from pressing the door back open. His gaze drifted back to Nicole's flaming locks.

          "It's kind of fucked up that she did that," the boy pointed out before the door thudded shut, allowing Ellie to go back and change her clothes. 

     Ever since Jesse and Nicole had started their patrol together, everything had gone like their fairly typical journey. They had joked and enjoyed the 'bigot' sandwiches Ellie had given them prior to their route diverging. Seth had been unbearable the night before, yet the steak he cooked was delicious, bolstering their strength when they stumbled across two sizeable clicker nests. Nicole was fond of Jesse's incessant chatter, and, due to her distress prior, he kept any discussions regarding her bond with Ellie at bay, and this was definitely one of the few traits she loved about him. Her thoughts often flickered back and forth, yet when it came to the patrol duties, her determination to survive overrode all else.

     As hours passed, the duo cleared all the zones that Maria had told them were teeming with Infected. Unfortunately, there was no trace of Joel and Tommy. Since the apocalypse had blocked most of the communication ways, they couldn't exactly reach out to them. Nicole assumed that they had gone back to town, but Jesse let her know that if any changes had taken place, Maria would have informed them all.

     Tension began to build and Nicole was no stranger to this sensation given the situation of their current day-to-day lives. However, this was different for Tommy and Joel, it was something that could not be simply ignored or brushed aside. As such, the two of them started to search around, casually calling out the names of the men they were looking for in an effort to discover what had occurred. Nicole was convinced that the Infected were not responsible for the disappearance, which of course only served to increase her panic. Jesse kept himself composed but when they saw light emanating from Eugene's basement, they were soon thrust back into another scary predicament.

          "What the hell?" Nicole exclaimed although the adrenaline was rushing fast in her veins, "You don't think they're there, do you?" The blonde asked Jesse as she pulled the halter so her horse would stop. Jesse copied her gesture and inspected the building. His eyes scanned it carefully as if he was trying to remember this place, which he couldn't. "Hello? Jesse?"

          "It's worth giving it a try. Do you think you can handle it by yourself while I put the horses somewhere safe? This storm is killing us all."

          "Yeah, sure. Just don't take too long." 

     Nicole gave a swift nod before hopping off her horse and striding toward the building's entrance. She was cautious to keep a tight grip on her gun and to make sure that any noise was kept to a minimum. Both Jesse and Nicole were clinging to a slim hope that Tommy and Joel had sought refuge in the building, to relax for a short time. Whether or not this was the case, the most important thing was that they were safe. 

     As she glided through the room, her legs powering her forward, her eyes constantly scanned the walls, listening out for a trace of something known, like the voices that had been echoing from underneath. At first, Nicole could barely pick up on the faint laughter and murmuring, while simultaneously checking for any sort of hidden hazards. Once she was convinced that the area was secure, she gradually descended the stairs. As she did so, the noises grew louder and louder until she was confident enough to call out, "Anyone down here?"

          "Nicole?" A peculiar call resonated from the depths of the basement, and it was instantly recognized as Dina's. She sounded off-kilter as if something had been happening down there that she wasn't meant to know.

          "Dina? Are you okay? What's going on?" Nicole refused to stay put and instead quickened her pace, never releasing the gun in her grasp. As she was about to enter, an unusual odor tickled her nose and a bizarre, yet wholly unfitting sight assailed her senses, prompting Dina to plead. "Will you wait, please?!" When Nicole finally managed to be in the same place as Dina and Ellie, she was forced to comply with the brunette's demands. The Fraser girl was bewildered, feeling the same intensity of emotion that had taken over her the night before, at the dance, this time ten times more. She cast her eyes over the pair, her features enveloping a mask of displeasure.

          "Wait—Just turn around, what are you doing?" Dina shouted back. 

     The brunette was unbuttoning her jeans and Ellie doing the same, leaving Nicole to observe in silence, her body turning as if to walk away and back to Jesse. An incredulous sigh left her lips and she began to become more incensed — not only were they neglecting their patrol duties, but Ellie had suggested that she wished the events of the previous night never happened. And now? Now they were literally hooking up on patrol hours.

     Jesse spun around in sync with Nicole, exclaiming in disbelief, "Are you kidding me?" An exasperated scoff escaped his lips as he moved his head in disbelief. "You're supposed to be on patrol!"

          "There's a blizzard outside!" Dina sharply responded to the young man's comment, almost prompting Jesse to take their squabble to a higher level. An uneasy feeling pervaded the room, and Dina guessed that Ellie felt uncomfortable with both her and Jesse's presence.

          "Is that weed?"

     Letting out a sigh, Dina inquired, "Why are you guys here?" Even though neither of them could make out the other's physical presence, Nicole could still sense the wrath and animosity emanating from her tone. It wasn't out of the ordinary for Jesse to be this perturbed, considering the fact that he had been her boyfriend for quite a while.

     Jesse tilted his head slightly and kept his eyes fixed on the ground, leaning in the direction of the girls yet at the same time unable to meet the gaze of the brunette, "People are counting on you! You get that?" He sigh-growled. "What we do matters!"

     Taking a few strides ahead, Dina finally conveyed it was alright for them to face each other. Nicole furrowed her brow and hesitated, mulling over the best way to explain that the real purpose of their visit was due to Tommy and Joel. She didn't want to startle Ellie, but her panic was steadily growing, and God, her mind had been so preoccupied with the fiasco between Ellie and Dina that she could barely concentrate on something else. Ever since she learned of the duo's disappearance, a slew of sensations had been playing in her gut.

          "Well, then why aren't you at the fucking lookout?" 

          "Because Tommy and Joel didn't show up!" Nicole admitted loudly, a strange sensation radging her spine. "We waited for them for an hour. We were looking for their horses when we saw lights," her voice dulled down as she noticed the shift in Dina and Ellie's faces. 

     Fear skitted around Dina's skin when she turned around to face Ellie, "Maybe they just went back to town." 

          "Without being replaced? No way," the panic in her tone lent power to Ellie's legs. Her body quivered with panic as she dropped to her knees and snatched up her jacket. Her eyes met Nicole's and without a moment's hesitation, she inquired, "How much of their region have you guys covered?" As Nicole's fingers clicked against her grimy jeans, Ellie could feel the kinship between them both. There was an obvious family bond between them and Ellie realized this was not only her problem but Nicole's too.

          "Not much," Nicole added softly, letting out a brief breath she didn't realize she had been holding.

     Ellie handed Nicole her backpack for her to hold as she slipped into her jacket, "Then we slipt up. Go at it from different sides," the redhead snatched her backpack back. "We can cover the whole thing in a few hours."

          "Wait," worry clouded her gaze before she took hold of Ellie's arm, her grip tight. "I don't like you riding solo. We don't know what's out there," Nicole pointed out, her eyes slamming onto hers once again. 

     The other girl only shook her head in response and released from her grip in a gentle manner, "Exactly. What if they need help?"

          "I'm coming with you. Dina'll head west, Jesse can take south and we go east. It's one of the few areas we haven't really gotten near to so it's our best shot," Nicole demanded, her voice tinged with fear. She zipped up her jacket and noticed Ellie's gaze scanning her from the other side. It wasn't like that death stare she would always give her. Ellie's eyes were filled with emotion, mostly fear and at the same time hope, as if she knew Tommy and Joel were alive but in danger. No matter what feelings had been going on between the brunette and the redhead, no matter how involved they were with each other or the grudge Ellie had been holding against her, this was beyond their usual drama. She and Ellie shared a brief moment, both finding comfort in each other's presence despite the fear that hung in the air.

           "But be smart about it, okay?" Jesse touched Nicole's shoulder, jolting her back to reality. 

TESSA'S THOUGHTS . . . 

oh. my. god. took me an eternity to write this, it's definitely longer than my usual chapters so i hope you guys will enjoy it. i tried to add a little contrast to ellie and nicky's relationship, as well as a little preview of her and maria's. i know i made it seem like everything's fine between them but it won't be :) however, i hope that you'll enjoy reading this just as much as i did writing it. i can't wait to post the third one, i'm so excited and i apologize fr the delay. i'll try my best to post the next one sooner so that you won't have to wait as much (but no promises). see you next time <3