Warnings: Mild violence, death, sadness. Super angsty.

Word Count: 5431 words.

I thought what better place and time (with the new Star Wars movie recently released) to write a one-shot for Cassian.

Side Note: I think that original authors note is a great testiment to my writing schedule. Star Wars: The Last Jedi was released on the 14th of December, 2017. Currently it's late November, 2018. If you thought the Infinity War one shot was long, I apologise. This one is a little excessive.

To whoever took my poll and requested more Star Wars one shots, I hope you enjoy!

~

The first time you saw him was on the planet Torize in a dirty bar with a Cassandra Sunrise in your hands. It tasted of cabbage, charbote root and bourbon, a combination that left a sweet nectar on your tongue. You had an armed blaster and were undoubtedly tipsy, a lopsided grin on your face. Between the blaring song of the band behind you and the yelling of nearby miners and traffickers, you could barely think. This was a bad combination, as you were a messenger working for The Galactic Empire and were easily recognised amongst both the Rebel community and your employers.

Your inebriated state is what undoubtedly led to the literal running into of Cassian Andor. As you walked into the Captain, your drink sloshed over its brim and landed on the floor with a slap. Attempting to suppress a laugh, you patted the man's chest, stumbling back a little.

"Sorry there..." You began, releasing a burp. "Bud."

"It's fine." The Captain muttered, sidestepping. He seemed annoyed, and continued to make his way to the exit. It was only moments later, when you took a wobbly seat at the bar, that he recognised you. Checking for his blaster, the Captain questioned what to do. Due to your current employment, there was a large bounty on your head, and you were likely aware of Empire secrets. He knew that his only option was to intoxicate you further to help let slip any information you were delivering, and shoot you.

You foraged through your pockets for your credit card, only to come back with nothing. Sighing, you swirled what little remained of your drink with a straw. Backtracking, the Captain walked towards you and placed two hands on your shoulders.

"Would you like another drink?" He asked, smiling in faux interest. You turned to face him, leaning back casually and smiling.

"Of course. I'd love another Cassandra Sunrise." You responded, nonchalant. Cassian nodded at the bartender, who promptly grabbed some coloured bottles and began to mix their contents.

"The name's (y/n) (y/l/n)." You said, smiling.

"Anton Huminek." He responded, giving you a fake name and gesturing to an empty booth. You nodded, following him to the worn leather seats. Years of alcohol coated the metal table like a lacquer, sticky underneath your calloused hands. Stretching your legs along the seat, you turned your body to face Cassian.

"You come here often?" He asked.

You scrunched your face. "Only when I'm nearby. Can't say I stick around in one place for too long."

"So then why here? You waiting for someone?" Cassian pried, hoping to find out some information about the First Order.

You chuckled.

"No. Haven't really got anyone waiting up for me at the end of a long day." You looked into the bar, solemn. Cassian nodded.

A scaled woman walked up to the pair of you, drinks in hand. Placing them in the table, she walked away with a suspicious look. Glancing around the room, Cassian checked to see if they were being watched. Sure enough, there were many sets of eyes their way. With you so close by, clearly not sober and ready to talk, he couldn't afford to be caught now. After he got the information he needed, he'd have to kill you.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" Cassian asked. You looked to him in surprise.

"Sure." You responded hesitantly, taken aback by how forward he was being.

The pair of you walked out of the bar, as Cassian led you to his speeder. Fatigue started to weigh you down, eyelids drooping. This time without hesitation, you hopped into the vehicle. Whether it was because of a lack of self-preservation or the alcohol, you could no longer tell. You had a feeling it was a mix of both.

As Cassian started the speeder, he noticed the sadness that claimed your eyes, like all the life he had just seen was merely an act, a product of the booze. He couldn't help but see the weary lines and dark circles on your face, an exhaustion different to that of lack of sleep.

He wondered what it you had seen that gave you those marks, and he almost felt guilty.

"Where do you want to go?" The Rebel asked, gaze turned to the street.

"Anywhere. Just away from here."

As Cassian guided the speeder through the streets, your dozing form rested against the window. Head against the glass, light from nearby signs skirted across your face and body. Quiet breaths left white clouds on the window, and you began to sober up. You wanted to stay awake so badly just to delay tomorrow. Just so you could delay your life just a little longer.

Cassian didn't have the heart to disturb you. You looked too peaceful. It was by chance that you had both been at at bar, and he supposed that he would have plenty of time to get information from you.

So he just kept guiding the speeder along.

More than an hour ticked by like that, rain pattering on the roof, cool air circulating throughout the speeder. Cassian on the left, you on the right, a passenger in each other's thoughts.

After a while, you finally spoke.

"Cassian?" You called, looking up to meet his eyes. There was a brief moment of panic on his features as he realised you knew who he was, and that he had given you a fake name. That quickly passed, and he maintained his gaze on the street.

"Thank you."

Those words burned into his mind, echoing and replaying. You had thanked him, but for what? For the drink? The drive? If you knew who he was, than surely you knew what he intended to do. In all honestly, he should have killed you already, but had thought better of it.

And then it was obvious.

You had thanked him for your life. Or at least another hour of it. An hour of peace, an hour of not being hunted and chased, despite the fact that the pair of you should be at each other's throats. The guilt from earlier began to form in his stomach, and he couldn't bring himself to go through with it. After killing many men in the name of this war, he shouldn't have had any qualms in getting rid of you. Yet he did.

Slowing down the speeder, he opened the door.

"Take care of yourself out there (y/n)." He warned, his tone warm.

You gave a small smile, bringing an arm up to shield your face from the rain outside. Unsure of what tomorrow would bring, or if you'd even make it there, you gave him a peck on the cheek and left him alone in the speeder.

Rain pattering on the roof, cool air circulating throughout the car. Cassian on the left, an empty space on the right, a passenger in each other's thoughts.

The second time you saw him was on an Empire ship, dried blood matted with hair to his forehead. A pair of magnetic cuffs forced his wrists together, and he wore a snarl on his face. The pair of the troopers guided him along until his knees gave out. Whacking the Rebel in the head with a blaster, one barked orders and pulled him to his feet. You recognised him from that night on Torize, a different man to the one your superiors had spoken about in briefings. He had shown you mercy and kindness in a time of war.

Again, he fell, exhaustion weighing down his bones and liquifying his muscles. This time they let go, and Cassian fell onto his side. The other trooper kicked him in the leg, yelling and aiming at the Captain's head. As the situation escalated, you moved to interfere.

"What the hell do you two think you're doing?" You spat, taking on the familiar persona that came with your work. "Do you even know who this is?"

The troopers looked to each other and back towards Cassian, who was breathing heavily and trying not to draw any more attention to himself.

"I'll spell it out for you," You said lowly. "You know who I am, and what I do, right?"

One of the troopers nodded. The other remained still, until his friend nudged him in the ribs. He nodded.

"Then you'll know that I'm one of the Empire's messengers, which also means I gather intelligence, something you two lack."

Cassian's brows furrowed, unaccustomed to the way things were conducted with the Empire. It was one thing for Rebels to treat the Troopers badly, particularly given that they were enemies, but they were supposed to be your comrades.

"I've been asked to take care of this one myself." You lied, gesturing to Cassian, who still lied on the floor. "He's managed to make things a bit difficult around here. Rebel Intelligence."

The two still seemed unconvinced, and Cassian began to suspect you were lying.

"Grand Moff Tarkin's orders are for me to personally make sure his stay is short and unpleasant." You finished, sending them each a stern look. At the uttering of the Grand Moff himself, the two began to back away from Cassian. One handed you a blaster. Without question, they left, hurrying down a nearby hallway.

Raising the blaster, you hooked an arm underneath Cassian's shoulders and half-dragged him towards the escape pods. Dashing down hallways, you stopped short when you heard the familiar crackle of trooper comms, and a trio of white-clad soldiers walking toward you.

"I have no orders from Grand Moff Tarkin." You confessed, turning your head to face the Rebel. "We're getting out of here."

Cassian's head spun as he struggled to stay on his feet, the room swimming before him. The trooper from earlier had hit him - hard. Warmth had spread from his temple and down to his collarbone, and he suspected it to be more blood. Barely able to process what you had said, he mumbled questions and held onto your arm with what little strength he had left.

The Captain couldn't help but move his gaze towards the blaster on your holster.

He could shoot you, right here, and be done with it.

There was that instinct again. The instinct to follow orders, to make his way back to the Rebels to get his next mission. To give his life for a cause that had consumed who he once was, and forced him to kill and lie and deceive.

Drawn out of his thoughts, squinting his eyes in pain, Cassian leant on a wall for support. Cursing, you grabbed your blaster, back against the wall and beside the Captain. Taking a deep breath, you hopped on the balls of your feet, a sharp energy running through your veins. With a final huff, you whipped around, jumping from your hiding place and shooting two of the troopers.

Searing pain shot down your arm, a clear burn on your shoulder from where you had been shot. It made a hole through your shirt, and you took down the security camera with your blaster before the trooper could shoot you again. Ducking down, you hid behind a metallic crate, taking aim at the last remaining trooper. He fired first, missing your head and singeing the ceiling. Firing back, you struggled to hit him.

Throwing your blaster at the trooper, you hit him in the head and grabbed a metal bar from the crate. Running towards him, you whacked the trooper again, this time in the neck, a large crack responding through the hallway. Tumbling to the floor, the guard lay, motionless, and you dropped the bar. Someone called for him on the comm, and you turned back to Cassian, extending your arm again to drag him towards the pods. As his arm looped along yours, the pain from the blaster shot intensified, and you grabbed your gun form the ground.

When you reached the pod, you propped him upright and placed your blaster beside him. Moving towards a panel, you frantically began to press buttons and switches, prepping the pod for release. It jolted and rumbled, the starry view of space evolving until nearby planets grew larger. Pressing another button to set your course, you turned to face the Captain. Worry had etched onto your features. Resolve steeled, you collected the blaster, setting it on a panel.

Releasing a breath, you rested your head in your hands and looked out of the window, checking for TIE fighters that may have been sent your way. After a few moments, you were satisfied, and sank to the floor with exhaustion. Gingerly slipping the collar of your shirt down past your shoulder, you inspected the burn. It was red raw, bubbling from the shot. Cautiously, you touched the burn, yelping in pain when your fingers came into contact with the wound.

Cassian's gaze had been on you the whole time, and he watched with a strange sort of admiration when you had taken down the troopers and carried him into the pod, despite the shot that had been sent your way. Clearly in pain, you closed your eyes and tilted your head back against the panel behind you.

"That's going to scar," he warned. You realised a dry laugh.

"Really?" You sarcastically asked.

The Captain shuffled towards you, pulling out a water bottle from his jacket.

"The wound will be cauterised, but water makes the pain easier, and stops the burn from getting any worse."

Brows knitted together in confusion, your expression quickly changed to one of gratitude.

"Thank you," you muttered, taking the bottle and removing the cap. The angle was awkward, and you twisted painfully to try and get water on the burn. Cassian tutted, shuffling closer and taking the bottle. Gently, his fingers grazed your neck as he moved your shirt.

"Tilt your head to the side," he ordered, brushing away an escaped lock of hair.

Ripping the bottom of his shirt, he folded a small piece and poured water on it. Slowly, he set the damp cloth on the burn and you grit your teeth, letting out a small whimper of pain.

"Sorry," he muttered quickly, alarm in his eyes.

"It's fine," you said dismissively, and the pain was quickly replaced with relief.

Cassian slid your shirt back over the wound, now covered by the cloth. Slumping back, he sat beside you, eyes cast towards the stars. Your eyes were closed, and a sigh left your lips.

Head turning back to face you, he was reminded of that night a little over a month ago. The peaceful look on your face mirrored the one you had worn in his speeder, and to know that someone in the galaxy could have at least one moment of peace during the war made a small smile tug at his lips. It quickly dissipated.

"Thank you," he muttered, breaking the silence.

Eyelids fluttering open, you looked to him.

"Don't thank me, please," you said solemnly. Cassian's brows furrowed, and your own guilt buried itself in your gut. Unable to meet his lingering eyes, you continued. "I don't deserve to be thanked."

"What makes you so sure of that?" He asked.

You shook your head, resting your head on your knees.

"Working for the Empire, I've sold people out, gathered intelligence, located Rebel alliances. I've hurt people if need be." Your face went stern. "I'm just as bad as the rest the Empire. Just because I did one good thing in getting you out, doesn't mean I'm suddenly a good person."

Cassian felt your words reside in his chest, and in that moment, there was an understanding between you two that he had never felt before.

"Everyone's done things they aren't proud of in this war."

As your eyes flickered you his, you could see the guilt behind them and you wondered what his own demons looked like. Were they the faces of those he had indirectly killed? The people he had lied to? In your case, you were haunted by your own conscience, which berated every action you had taken under the Empire's direction.

Unable to hold his intense gaze any longer, you looked away, fatigue willing your eyes closed. Struggling to keep awake, you took a deep breath and stretched your neck. Resting your head against the hard wall, you stared at the ceiling, the pit in your stomach growing deeper.

"If you need to sleep, lay down. I'll wake you if anything happens."

Turning to Cassian, you were initially skeptical. As much as you wanted to trust the captain, you hardly knew him, and were each on opposing sides of the war. The more you thought about it, the more worried you grew, until an unsettling thought popped into your head.

Maybe you didn't care if something happened to you. Maybe that's what you deserved.

Sliding down the wall, you lay down on your side, head resting on the captain's leg. Squeezing your eyes shut and holding your breath, you desperately wanted to go to sleep, to escape the war for a few hours. As much as you hated your life, you knew there would be a day when it would finally be over. You just had to hang on. You didn't deserve to see the end of the war, but maybe, if you were given the chance, you could earn that freedom.

Cassian could feel how tense your form was, and he felt guilt begin to work at his stomach. It was an emotion he had learned to suppress given his line of work, but for some reason, whenever he was around you, he couldn't keep up the robotic facade. Apprehensively, he reached out to thread his fingers through your hair, and he felt your body begin to relax at the contact.

The two of you did not utter a single word, and Cassian continued his soothing actions until your breathing had evened out, and you fell asleep.

By the time you woke up, the captain would be gone, but his touch lingered on your skin.

The third time you saw him was on the planet Jedha, where you had joined the effort to stop the Empire from stealing kyber crystals. Having recently met Chirrut and Baze, you aided them in warding off Stormtroopers, given your knowledge of the Empire's ships, tools and systems. There were many times were troopers would simply vanish, and it was your job to see to it. You saw it as a start to make up for everybody you got killed.

An explosion filled the main intersection, shaking the buildings surrounding it violently. Gaining your balance, you slid from a line connecting two buildings, adrenaline pumping. Colliding with the wall, your head hit the wall a little too forcefully, and you took a moment to gather yourself. Jumping down from a ledge, your boots met the gravel of the ground below. Unholstering your blaster, you sidestepped towards the two Guardians of the Whills. The pair were bickering, twenty odd troopers lying motionless on the ground.

"You almost shot me," Chirrut said, clearly annoyed.

"You're welcome," Baze replied, making his way towards you, gun in hand. He nodded, giving a sign that everything within the area was clear. A smirk formed on your lips, and you turned to check down the other alleyways, the pain in your head subsiding.

"You two are unbelievable." Smirk falling, your entire body went rigid as you spotted a familiar form at the end of the alley. His hair was longer, and there was a spark behind his eyes that never used to be there. A younger woman stood beside him, as well as an Imperial droid. It was failing - quite spectacularly - to seem like a regular droid rather than a defective one.

You approached slowly, finger on the trigger of your blaster, itching to make the shot. The woman was the first to notice you, eyes widening slightly in alarm. Raising a finger to your lips, you gave her a pleading look. Averting her eyes back to the trooper, she acted as if nothing had happened.

The droid, however, was less subtle.

"Oh, look over there," he stated. "It appears as if we have a problem."

Standing up straight, you pulled the trigger. A dark smudge appeared on the trooper's helmet, and he fell to the ground with a thud. The droid turned his head to face you, his hand already raised in a fist to clobber the trooper.

The Captain looked to you with a disbelieving stare, a mixture of relief and guilt on his features.

"Cassian." Blowing a lock of hair out of our face, you checked over your shoulder. Baze eyed you with curiosity, and removed your gaze. He'd inevitably have questions, but you weren't sure you had the answers. Facing the Captain once more, you gestured towards the girl. "New friend?"

"Co-conspirators," he said, unsure.

A smile formed on your face.

"Against The Empire I hope," you said, a hint of mischief in your tone.

"As always." The Captain curtly replied.

A silence settled once more, and you felt something ease inside your chest. A hum, barely noticeable, fading out into nothing. A small sigh of relief left your lips, and you were grateful that you had crossed paths with Cassian again.

Just as you were about to speak, a shout emerged from behind you and several partisans started to surround the group.

Shifting to stand in front of Cassian subconsciously, you held up your blaster. Barking something in a foreign tongue, you held a commanding presence against the approaching enemies. Their leader spat a few words in your direction, and you grit your teeth. Taking a small step in their direction, your tone was as cold and menacing.

"You can understand them?" The woman behind you asked.

Nodding, you kept your eyes trained on the partisans.

"After working as a messenger for the Empire for a few years, you begin to pick up a few languages," you said.

Cassian emerged from behind you, making you notice the protective stance you had taken in front of him. Suddenly self-conscious, your confidence faltered.

The partisans yelled another order.

An order of your own flew from your mouth like venom. From the corner of your eye, you could see Baze raising his blaster tentatively. Someone shifted behind you, and the members of your group readied for an attack.

That was until a series of shots came from behind you, and a surge of electricity coursed through your body. Convulsing, you felt bile rise up your throat and you blacked out.

The next time you saw him was in the middle of the rebel council meeting, a hundred odd pilots, mechanics, fighters and politicians alike arguing over what their next course of action should be. People were yelling from all points of the circle, the meeting in utter chaos. Hand pressed to your side, you kept pressure on the bandaged wound the partisan's weapon had left. The shot you had taken on Jedha left a large burn, and you had only regained consciousness in the last few hours.

Needless to say, you were shocked to hear that Saw Gerrera had been killed, with the entire planet annihilated by the Death Star. If the sheer terror of the planet-killer wasn't bad enough, the population of panicked Rebels left a permanent taste of bile in your mouth.

Cassian lifted a hand to rest on your shoulder, and you relaxed against his touch. Jyn was currently arguing with the councillors, struggling to win the debate.

"You're asking us to invade an Imperial installation based on nothing but hope?" Pamlo chided. Anger flowed through your veins like hot water, turning into steam and powering your movements.

"Rebellions are built on hope," Jyn quipped back, practically begging the Rebels to listen. There was a desperation behind her calm, and you could sense that this wasn't just about the galaxy - this was about retribution for her father.

"There is no hope," Vaspar started plainly.

Laughing dryly, you turned to face the group. Cassian looked to you with a cautious gaze.

"Listen to yourselves," you said in disbelief. "You're acting as if we have a choice here. There is nothing we can do other than fight."

Pamlo sent you a glare.

"And who are you to give us orders?

"I used to work as a messenger and spy for the Empire. I worked there for more than ten years, and I hated every damn second of it. Do you not think there were times I felt like there was no hope?" You asked, turning to the councillors and hoping to gain their understanding. "If it hadn't been for your cause, the Rebels, I would have been stuck in that position. Murdering for the people I loathed. You brought me from that place, as well as many others, and gave us something to fight for."

A spark had ignited within you, the fire in your veins fuelling your anger. Hands formed into fists, you took place next to Jyn and steeled your resolve.

"You let me know when everyone in this damn galaxy has turned to dust from that weapon. That's when we have no hope."

A moment of silence passed before the councillors exchanged a series of looks. Many of the councillors were unmoved by your speech, while the Rebels around you seemed to take solace in your words. Pamlo crossed his arms, putting up an unyielding front. Taking a series of deep breaths, you suddenly grew self-conscious of your position in the room, limping your way back to Cassian. The Captain's mouth was slightly agape, clearly surprised at your actions.

Mon Mothma called for everyone's attention, ruling that the group would not take any action to steal the Death Star plans, the Rebel forces too weak.

Cursing with frustration, you pinched the bridge of your nose and grit your teeth. Subtly slipping his hand into one of your pockets, Cassian began to guide you away. The action startled you, but as he glanced around the room your trust was his. Lowering his head and making no eye contact, he whispered in your ear.

"I'm going to get volunteers," he said lowly. "I need you to follow me to Bodhi. He's preparing a ship now."

Brows furrowed, you had a moment of realisation before looking to him with hope.

"You always planned to steal those plans, whether the councillors authorised it or not," you said. It was more of a statement than a question, and when the Captain smirked you knew you were correct. As the pair of you rounded a corner into another walkway, he removed his hand and checked behind a closed door.

The sudden loss of his support put you off-balance, the blaster shot causing your muscles to stiffen and bones to ache. Placing an arm out towards the wall, you pushed back off from it with your fingertips to set your body upright. Cassian waved to someone out of your line of sight before turning back towards you. Expression morphing into a frown, he met your unsteady form and stuck out an arm for you to lean on.

"I'm fine," you said, waving him off. "I can stand on my own."

Body swaying slightly, you managed to keep yourself off of the wall and back into a normal stance. Cassian's frown deepened, and he looked to the ground. A beat passed.

"You can't come with us like this." The Captain said plainly.

You shook your head, crossing your arms.

"I'm more than capable," you said.

Despite your injuries, you couldn't let Cassian face this alone. The man had saved your life a handful of times now, and you had done the same for him. This was a suicide mission at best, and you could not let the Captain die after everything he had been through. It wasn't fair.

"You can hardly stand properly," Cassian reasoned, shortening the distance between you. Mouth forming into a thin line, your face softened into a pleading expression, unable to be angry with him. Truly, you knew it was futile to argue. There was no way you were going to be able to fight on Scarif.

"You need every man you can get," you said. 

"Not every man is you."

Your heart seemed to break a little then and there, knowing that whether this mission started with you on board or not, it would have the same outcome. Everyone who fought the Empire today would die. It did not matter that Cassian was confessing this now. It was too late for the both of you. 

Pressing a harsh, heated kiss to his lips, you pulled the Captain close and gripped his jacket collar. Reciprocating the kiss, he rested his hands on the utility belt you wore. Springing up onto the tips of your toes, you relished in the warmth of his mouth on yours. It was a desperate and sloppy kiss, the pair of you knowing that this was the only moment you would share. You wanted - needed - to kiss him. He had to know.

Falling back onto all of your feet, you released a whimper as a jolt of pain shot up your side. Cassian moved one hand to your hip, the other lifting your shirt to inspect the wound left from the electric shock, still concerned about the burn.

"What's with your eagerness to take off my shirt?" You asked, smiling through the pain. "You haven't even taken me on a date."

"What's with your eagerness to get hurt all the time?" Cassian fired back, a half-smile on his face.

You kissed him once more before breathily breaking apart. You cupped his cheeks in both hands, forehead leaning against his own. A few moments passed, the two of you holding each other and closing your eyes. Smile slipping into a concerned frown, your brows furrowed and you swallowed the lump forming in your throat.

"Please come back," you asked, a pleading tone in your voice.

The Captain pulled away, gaze wandering over your face. Eyes squinted shut, you wouldn't dare open them, not wanting to see the condemning expression you knew he wore. Instead, the Captain lowered himself into your eyeline, thumb trailing over your bottom lip.

"(Y/n)," he said. "Look at me."

After a moment's hesitation, your eyes fluttered open, and dread lined your gut. The Captain's jaw was set, and you knew there was no changing his mind.

"I'm not going to lie to you," he muttered, shaking his head slightly. Releasing a sharp exhale, you scrunched up your nose and tears filled your eyes. Engulfing the man in a tight hug, you rested your chin on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he said, rubbing your back.

"Don't apologise," you said. "You're coming back."

The Captain didn't respond.

Releasing him from your grip, you gave him a stern glare.

"You're coming back. I'll kill you if you die out there."

Cassian scoffed, hands trailing down your arms and to your wrists. Intertwining your fingers, he brushed his fingers over your knuckles. Placing a deft kiss on them, he let you go and took a few steps back. The sinking feeling in your gut had worsened, and you found yourself already missing the warmth his body had provided. The Captain began to take hasty steps backwards, making his way towards the ship. As he entered the hull, he took one last look at you.

"May the force be with you," you called, mustering up a soft smile.

"And also with you," he replied.

As the entrance to the ship began to close, you felt a tear begin to slip down your face. The metal groaned with the effort, and your irrational mind searched for ways to prevent the group from leaving. Pushing them all aside, you reached out for a crate and sat down against it.

You would never see him again.