In the dream, everything starts out in pitch black.

That's the way it always begins.

Darkness. Darkness, and then, gradually, slowly, ever so slowly, a tiny pinprick of light forms...

She blinks against its glare. Blinks, and in the time it takes for her eyes to adjust, she already starts to smell it...

Rotting bodies.

First, she sees Marlene, her face cut and bruised, eyes open and sightless. Then, there's Sirius, next to her, his hair spread on the ground, hands splayed and mouth slightly opened. She could see the shock still on his frozen face, even dead.

Then it's Alice, face covered in purple bruises, then Remus, except Remus is always in wolf form... Peter lies next to him, throat torn out, blood in his clothes, in his hair, and then... Finally...

James. Glasses askew, bleeding from a cut on his forehead, eyes glassy and unseeing.

At that point in the dream, Lily usually wakes herself up screaming.

This time, she doesn't. She crouches next to James in the dirt, refusing to think of him as anything but James, refusing to think of him as a body...

But he is, and she bows her head, shoulders shaking, tears falling onto his face, his pale, lifeless face-

"Lily," someone whispers, and Lily jerks awake, her heart racing.

It's James, lying next to her in their bed, hair tousled and messy, hazel eyes wide in concern.

Alive.

Lily gasps, and realises that she's crying, soft noises coming from her throat as she shakes, and then she shakes more, breathing hard, her breath loud in the quiet night.

"Lily?" James questions, his eyes still wide and concerned, looking sleepy, but gradually getting more awake by the second. He's leaning up on one arm, and as he sees the tears falling on her cheeks, he sits up in one fluid motion and rubs her back as she weeps, quiet and understanding.

Lily hasn't had the dream for a while. Not since she moved in with James, two months ago, and she cries harder. He'll think I'm weak, she thinks. That I can't take care of myself. That I'd cry over some stupid dream...

Though she is crying over some stupid dream, Lily realises.

James is still there, brushing her hair back from her face, muttering soothing nothings in her ear. Just him being close makes Lily breathe easier, makes her heart calm. She loves him so much she can't breathe sometimes, and he loves her too, she can tell, because it's 2AM and he's awake, comforting her after some stupid dream...

"Everyone was dead," Lily explains. "Everyone. It- oh, God, James, it-"

She can't continue, just presses her face into his faded and worn T-shirt, like she can hide in it.

She can't. James is talking to her. "Lily, angel, it was just a dream. I'm here, Lily, I'm here."

She smiles into his t-shirt at the angel, breathing in the smell of him. Butterbeer and Quidditch brooms.

Lily remembers smelling that in the amorentia in seventh year. At first, she hadn't been able to place it, and then she'd remembered walking past James that morning, and having that smell waft past her.

She'd stared at her potion in horror- well, no, not quite horror... more dawning comprehension.

She'd looked up at James, and saw he'd been looking back at her. He'd smiled that beautiful smile, one corner of his mouth crooked up, and mouthed roses and ink.

Lily's perfume smelt like roses, and she always smelt like ink, she knew that much.

She'd known she was screwed, then.

"Lily," James mumbles, and she looks up at him, removing her face from his t-shirt. Grasping the sides of her face gently, he strokes one finger down her cheekbone lightly, and asks her softly; "Do you have this dream often?"

Lily considers lying. But James can always tell when she's lying, always could, even when they were in second year, and besides, they're in a relationship, for heaven's sake.

They're supposed to have trust.

"Sometimes," Lily admits. "It's always the same, but I never realise it's a dream until I've woken up. Always."

James' eyes tighten at the edges. Lily knows him well enough to know he feels guilty... Guilty that he can't do anything about it. James is the sort of guy who would do anything for her, would fight his way through hundreds of warriors to get her back, but it's a dream.

You can't fight dreams, not even if you're a wizard.

"I haven't had it since we moved it in together," Lily adds, because James looks like he wants to break something. Energy is rolling off him in waves, and without knowing it, his fingers have tightened on her face. "It's just a dream, James."

His face softens as he looks at her. "I love you, Lily."

She breathes in, slowly, and then breathes out in a huge gust. He hasn't said he loves her in words yet, although they both know it's true. Have both known it since they smelt each other's scents in the amorentia. "I love you, too, James."

He smiles at her gently, and strokes hair back from her face. "Are you okay to go back to sleep? Do you want to stay up? I can make you hot chocolate."

Lily loves him more than ever at that moment. "I'm fine, James. You're here, aren't you?"

He smiles at that, like she knew he would. He lies down on the bed, and she lies next to him. Lily can hear two hearts beating, but they're so close together that Lily can't even tell which is which. She breathes in the smell of him again, and he moves his hand so it's on her back, to show her that he's here.

He's always here.

Lily falls asleep, and she doesn't dream at all.

Happy (late) new year! I've just finished the Scorpio races by Maggie Stiefvater and I love it so much. I love all of her books, tbh, because she writes so well. So if you haven't read any, read some! I promise you'll love them. (And afterwards, feel free to message me and fangirl with me.)