Jungkook woke up with a groan, stretching. He rolled out of bed onto his cluttered floor, picking up the glass of milk his mother must have set on the table before he woke up. He gulped it down, finishing with a refreshed 'ah.' Then he looked in the mirror. He fell asleep in the clothes he wore yesterday; dark denim and a white shirt, with messy hair to complete the look. The boy shrugged. Looked good enough for him.

He put his shoes on and scurried down the stairs, a bit of a bounce in his step. Today was Saturday, and on Saturdays he could do anything. After all, it was 1978, and he was 18 years old. His parents didn't care where he was, as long as he was home before the sun was up the next day.

He grabbed his keys by the door, and went out to his rusty red truck. It was nothing luxurious, it wasn't really even good, but it got him places. Whenever Jungkook starts it up, it sounds like it might be dying, but that has yet to be the case.

Jungkook knew exactly where he wanted to go for breakfast. Explosive Donuts was the best place for donuts and pastries in the area. He was honestly surprised his metabolism could keep up with all the sugar and carbs he intakes at that place.

He parked his truck (quite badly, for the record) and walked into the shop, quickly ordering a raspberry filled donut. He paid with some wadded-up cash and took said donut. By the time he had walked out the door a group of five men had made themselves comfortable standing by the front of the shop.

Jungkook whipped his head to see the five of them, and they just stared for a second, until the tallest one went, "Hey."

Jungkook hesitated a bit, before giving them a single nod, raising his donut. "...Hey." He pauses again, getting a feeling. "You guys are gay...right?"

"Yup," He spoke once again.

"Wow, you're very confident about it," Jungkook remarked.

"Well, you don't really look like an old church lady who's going to scream at us saying we'll go to hell for being gay. So," He shrugs.

"Yeah, it's 1978, they don't take away our rights anymore," The one with the deep voice pipes up.

"Tae! That's insensitive! People don't have those rights everywhere in the world yet!" The broad-shouldered one scolds.

"They don't!? Hoseok why didn't you tell me this!?"

"I shouldn't have to tell you everything! God Tae, read a book once or twice."

"I would if you gave me time to, instead of constantly calling me to fuck you!"

"Well sometimes Seokjin won't!"

"Hey! I'm only unavailable cuz of Namjoon!"

"So..." Jungkook breaks it up. "Are you all one big couple or something?"

"Oh no," Namjoon laughed, shaking his head. "Though I do fuck Seokjin often. And Taehyung, and sometimes Hoseok."

"What?" The shortest furrowed his eyebrows. "You never asked me to fuck."

"Oh, Yoongi do you want to?" Namjoon's eyes widen a bit. "I thought you wanted to be with Taehyung."

"Not if I'm going to be excluded," Yoongi almost whined. "Why did you never ask?"

"To be honest, you kinda scare me," Namjoon admitted. "So are you giving me permission to call you when I need a fuck?"

"Yeah, but only if we cuddle after."

"Well you guys seem to have...fun," Jungkook cleared his throat.

"Well you can join if you want to," Tae shrugged. "You're cute, I'm down to clown."

"Me too," Seokjin agreed.

"Same," Hosoek nodded.

"I mean since I'm trying something new," Yoongi looked him up and down.

"Uh, thanks but no thanks," Jungkook declined, taking a bite of his donut. "Not my thing."

"Well that's okay, you can still hang out with us if you want," Namjoon offered. "Though if you change your mind, I'm down too."

"...I might take you up on that. The hanging out thing, that is. I didn't change my mind from thirty seconds ago," Jungkook nodded, because he had no friends who were gay like he was. He wanted to be in a group where he fit in. "Uh," he ripped off a piece of the donut bag, asking for a pen. "Here's my number. Don't fight over it."

But of course that was ignored. "I want it first!" Yoongi called.

"No, not fair!" Namjoon yelled.

"Yeah I should have it! I'm the most charming one!"

"Shut up Seokjin!"

"Woah, did you see the move that guy just did?" Hoseok ignored.

They all whipped their heads to see a gorgeous boy dancing on the asphalt. "Holy shit...Do you know him?" Jungkook couldn't stop staring.

"No, he just started dancing in the middle of the parking lot a couple minutes ago," Namjoon deadpanned. "Did you not hear the blasting music that started playing? He brought his whole record player. It's just sitting on the pavement."

"I guess I was just way too fascinated with you guys..." Jungkook excused. "Uh, I'll be right back." He walked over to the pretty blonde boy. "What a coincidence, denim on denim, with a white shirt underneath. We're basically matching. Would you call that destiny?"

The boy stopped dancing, turning to face him with a bit of a smirk. "Bold of you to flirt with a man in the year of our lord 1978. You don't know my sexuality."

"Well, I took one look at the rainbow patch on your jeans and hoped for the best," Jungkook smiled a playful smile.

"You're not part of that group of fuckbuddies over there, are you?" He pointed to the group of five. "Because if you're trying to recruit me, the answer is no."

"Oh God no. I actually just declined the offer they gave me," Jungkook told him. "They're an...interesting group of people."

"I hear you," The boy laughed. "Hey, I'm Jimin."

"Jungkook," He beams. "Very nice to meet you. So uh, what's the reason you decided to start dancing in the middle of a parking lot?"

"I was bored," Jimin shrugged. "Wanna join?"

"I'm not a good dancer," Jungkook shook his head.

The smirk came back. "That's alright. I'll teach you."

"I don't know if I like the way you said that," Jungkook narrowed his eyes.

"Hey, I already declined to your group of fuckbuddies, I'm not going to come onto you," Jimin defended with a laugh. "But if you stick around, maybe I will teach you a thing or two in that subject."

"Oh yeah?" Jungkook played along.

"We'll just have to see," The shorter flirted. "But for now, I'll simply teach you some simple dance moves, if you so choose."

"I think I'll take you up on that offer," Jungkook steps closer.

"Well," Jimin grabbed Jungkook by the wrist, taking a bite of his donut, powered sugar residue settling on his lips. "You better finish that up. I have a lot I wanna teach you."

"Okay, that sexual tension you two have is really hot!" Namjoon calls from across the parking lot. "Hey cutie! Wanna hang out!? We're totally casual!"

"Man they're weird," Jimin shook his head.

"Yeah," Jungkook agreed. "I think I'm going to hang out with them and see how long I can survive."

"Ooh good luck with that."

*

"So while shifting your feet, you take off your jacket and fling it into the air."

"Like this?" Jungkook does as he's told. The sun is setting behind them. They've been here all day. His jacket flies through the air.

"Oh, yeah! That's actually really good!" Jimin praises. "Here, think fast!" And Jimin jumps, Jungkook catching him in midair, holding him bridal style. "See, you're a natural! Maybe we can incorporate a move like that later, but for now go grab your jacket. Let's do it together!"

And so they do it together, almost completely in sync. Right as they throw their jackets, a car comes racing into the parking lot, screeching to a stop right in front of them. "Oh good, you're still here," Namjoon rolls down the window. "We're going to Dairy Queen, you wanna come?"

"Can I take my own car?" Jungkook asks. "I don't want to leave it here."

"Sure," Namjoon nods. "And cute small guy—that's not offensive, by the way, we have a cute small guy in the car too, his name is Yoongi—you can come too. Don't worry, we don't fuck in public."

"Most of the time," Tae chimes in.

"When did you do that?" Namjoon turns around in his seat to look at him.

"Me and Seokjin did it in a bush at that park we all like once."

"It got kind of muddy," Seokjin scrunched up his nose. "Would not recommend."

"Well I guess besides them, we don't fuck in public," Namjoon turned back to Jimin, who was walking back from grabbing the denim jackets, handing Jungkook's to him. "So how about it?"

"Uh, can I go in your car?" Jimin asks Jungkook.

"Sure," He turns to Namjoon. "We'll see you there." And once again Namjoon is racing off. As they turn out of the parking lot the two can hear Hoseok go, 'Woo!'

"I guess I'm going to try to survive too," Jimin laughed when they were gone.

"Yep," Jungkook started walking to his truck, Jimin following. "You know, if you want, I could take you on a date instead."

"Nice try, but we already said yes to their plans," Jimin smiled. 

"Ah, well," Jungkook sighs.

"Tomorrow though," There's a gleam in his eyes. "I'm free as a bird."

"Well not anymore, because I'm taking you to McDonald's for lunch," Jungkook backhugged him. "You've been caught, my friend."

"Don't call me friend if you're going to take me out on a date," Jimin scolded playfully.

"Oh, does boyfriend sound better then?" Jungkook smirks.

"We'll just have to see how the night goes," Jimin got in Jungkook's truck. "You know, I really don't think you should be concerned about someone stealing this piece of junk."

"Hey, there are some sketchy people!"

*

Jungkook felt someone hop on his back. Instinctively he grabbed his legs, holding him up. The one on his back kissed his cheek. "I love you," He speaks into his neck, nuzzling it with his nose.

"Hi, Baby," Jungkook let him down so he could turn around, kissing his lips. "I love you too."

"Are we still waiting for the guys?" Jimin asks, his beautiful eyes staring at Jungkook's.

"Not anymore," Jungkook points to a familiar van, driving much less reckless than when they first met—Namjoon got his license revoked, so Yoongi drove from now on. "Hey guys."

"Hi! You ready to go take Santa pictures?" Tae smiled his goofy smile.

"You're so weird Tae," Jimin laughed, getting in the backseat, Jungkook following.

"Well if we're going to go to the mall during the Christmas season, we gotta take pictures with Santa!" Namjoon argues.

"Yeah, you didn't join us last year!" Hoseok added.

"Hoseok, last year we had only known you for two months," Jungkook reminds. "And you all still made everything extremely sexual. It was still during the time you used to ask if we had changed our minds about being in your big group of fuckbuddies."

"Hey, that makes it sound like the five of us participate in some big orgy or something," Seokjin yelled a bit.

"Yeah," Tae crossed his arms. "We only did that once."

"But after we met you guys we started changing our ways a bit," Namjoon defended. "Speaking-wise anyways. We've become more mature."

"Joonie that was a bad joke, you'll never be mature," The couple laughed, the other four joining in.

"Well, of course not, but I've gained a bit of a filter I didn't have previously because of you two," Namjoon held his head high.

"That you have," Jungkook's laughter started up again. "But you've changed us a lot to. Jimin's a lot more shameless."

"Jungkook too!" Jimin agreed. "You've made our lives more fun."

"It's what we do~" Taehyung sings.

"You made the group better too," Yoongi notes. "Now we can say we have couple exclusive to each other in our group."

"Yeah! We're not seen as a group of fuckbuddies anymore!" Hoseok cheers. The other four once again join in.

"Hey look, we made it to the mall!" Jungkook shut them up.

"You think there's a sexy Santa I can flirt with somewhere or is it just the fat old guy?"

"Shut up Tae!" 

A/N: Just wondering, who was the first to say the last line in your mind? Cuz obviously there's six options, what's the one you heard?

Working 1-9, what a way to make a living~

Or pay off a car. Whatever.

Anyways, girls I have a question~

Are you a 🥺 girl or a bruh girl. And which one am I? I know you know I know the answer, but I still want to hear it for your mouths.

Boys and non-binary's, you're of course not forgotten, I just don't have any questions for you so I guess I'll ask...

Do you know how much I love and value and appreciate you?

Cuz it's a lot and I know I don't talk about you guys enough, but I love you guys ^^

Anyways! Me being a dumbass, I forgot to say who asked for this story. An amazing person by the name of Emma ^^ go follow her EmmaBtsislife (hey I remembered to put it in!) because she has good ideas~

Anyways.

I know this is very chaotic, but if you look at the music video it does make sense. I was on Twitter a lot that day, a lot of people said BTS was in a polyamorous relationship that day my God-

Not that I'm against that thing lol, if it makes you happy go for it, but the amount of people saying that was insane.

Anyways have I said that if Namjoon said this second on Twitter "Uh, oh yeah sorry I forgot to mention I have a wife and three kids." I would in no way be surprised? Like am I the only one? Like he could be the most single man in the world, he could be married with kids, he could have a boyfriend or girlfriend, he could be dating Seokjin, I don't know what's going on I just know whatever happens I probably won't be that surprised. 

Have you seen that people have called Jimin the straightest member in Bangtan?  I mean I'm sure those are the people that read a/n fanfics. The last time he voluntarily talked about women was before the debuted so eye mean-

Namjoon wrote a diss track to Big Hit before they debuted saying he was mad that they wouldn't let him have a girlfriend, Yoongi talked about how a seagull had a girlfriend, then he was sad about not getting one. He also said, "There are 300 fans here, they are all my girlfriends" Seokjin said in 2014 he wanted to take his girlfriend to the beach but he didn't have one. All of them have had girlfriends except Jungkook, however Tae dated all the girls that asked him out because he wanted them all to be included, and Jimin never did anything romantic with his girlfriend.

This is in no way telling you the members are straight, because we don't know, and obviously it shouldn't matter that much anyways, but calling Jimin the straightest member when Namjoon constantly wrote about women (ie Expensive Girl ((I wiped that thing out of my memory so much I had to look up the name-))) is a bit odd to me, that's all. I hope you don't feel anything negative when I say it's most likely there's at least one if not more straight members of BTS. Being disappointed if someone is straight is sadly not the right mentality, and obviously it's nowhere close to homophobia, and I don't wanna sound like a butthurt straight person, that's not my intention ofc, but at the same time like you can't help who you're attracted to.

Sorry I know that sounded mean, but you know, I'm all about healthy mentality, it's why I tried so hard to love Taekook and even connect with Taekook shippers. Anyways the Queen's being careful about this one, don't mind me, my intentions are good, I hope you know me well enough to come to that conclusion ^^

So in conclusion, Jimin, who is a bit more feminine than the rest, who clings onto Bangtan like he's in love with all of them, who has not talked about women publicly since their debut except for those, "wHaTs yoUr iDeaL gIrL LikE?" questions which I think they stopped answering in like..2017 maybe? Who wears cropped shirts and finds pleasure in charming men, who stares at male interviewers slapping their thighs, mighttttt not be straight.

Just a possibility, you know?

Anyways so my mascot is getting changed at my school.

Someone unironically suggested the worms.

wOrmS!?

She was like "Oh yeah they can survive even if they get split in half blah blah blah"

It's not about that! Think about a lion vs a worm, who would win? Worms do not radiate strength! That's the point of a mascot! To take pride in because it's strong! It's why you see Eagles, Lions, Bears, Mustangs, they all are amazing animals! Worms are pink and nasty and bleed if you step on them. 

Let me tell you I didn't like that girl before, I had a problem with her the second she walked into the room, she was just one of those people, but this put me over the edge. Like she read Romeo and Juliet like she was some sort of 'fancy whatever the fuck' and her reading voice made my ears feel like they wanted to physically close because it was so obnoxious. I'm surprised she wasn't in drama.

That wasn't a knock on drama I'm just saying I'm actually surprised. That was more factual than meant to be rude. 

I'm tired and my mind is overflowing so much and I'm so overwhelmed but not in a bad way if that makes sense? There's just a lot that wants to get out.

So here;

https://youtu.be/9SawmpMTDHc

This is Demain, he's kind of new to the Kpop scene, and by that I mean he's about as old as Quarantine, so like March 2020? Anyways this song is beyond beautiful, I love soloists, like I haven't met a Kpop soloist I don't like, and by that I mean one not currently in a Kpop group, or one who has never been, (Demian, Woodz, Chungha, Somi, Eric Nam, Jay Park, Hyuna, ect.) correct me if I'm wrong, I know some of them were in groups in the past.

Anyways Demian is my favorite out of all of them, Cassette really makes you feel some type of way. Like I hate whispering but that sensual breathy singing..I mean that's probably what I like about Jungkook's voice the most. The song is utterly amazing, and this song is bunched into my big preferred genres genre.

Check him out, Cassette is sexc, but it only has 928,000 views, not even a million. Go hype him up he's beautiful.

Speaking of beautiful men, I thought I would be over my crush on Yeosang a long time ago. I thought it was a fad, besides, Mingi was my bias, right?

Oh no no no I thought wrong. I mean not about the Mingi thing, he's one of 8 biases, but oh my God my crush on Kang Yeosang keeps growing. Look at him;

Okay I never expected this to happen, okay? Out of all of ATEEZ, when I first stanned them I payed the least amount of attention on Yeosang. Not intentionally, but that's how it is. And I have no idea what happened, I don't even know when I realized it, but all of a sudden, huh, I have a huge crush on this man. 

Isn't it crazy how that works?

He's so cute and amazing and his voice is so pretty and he loves chicken just how I love chicken and I know that sounds weird to non atinys but atinys know what chicken means to Yeosang so I mean-

I suddenly truly with God as my witness got the urge to cry. That's how much I love him guys. Damn it I have the biggest crush on Kang Yeosang

While we're speaking about crushes, I used to deny the fact I ever thought a guy was cute. I'd kind of get that like 'ping' in my head like I don't know how to describe it but the realization I thought a guy was cute, then I'd shut it down so fast cuz I was so embarrassed that I just never wanted to risk liking anyone.

Now I'm looking at this kid at work (I say kid, he's a year older than me, I call Jimin kid too don't worry about it) who has pretty eyes and pretty freckles and I without a second thought go, "Yeah he's really cute." Like I don't know what the big deal was, I find a lot of guys cute, so if one doesn't like me I'm sure I can find one who shares the same feelings. Like I already have like two work crushes, I'm still not over that tall guy from school, and then there's a whole ass Kang Yeosang. Is he a realistic target? I wouldn't take him out of the running.

I know that's so delulu, I'm acknowledging it's delulu, however at the same time..if I tried I could get a Kpop idol when I'm older, right?

I know that sounded so cocky, I'm sorry, I'm just in the mood cuz I love boys 🥰

I think BTS opened the gate to me becoming boy crazy, because I wasn't in middle school at all, except for like thinking a YouTuber was cute, and obviously BTS and stuff, but in October of 2019, which now that I think about it was two years after I started stanning BTS so that's funny, the boy crazy hormones or whatever broke out of captivity and here I am.

I know we collectively hate men, straight women hate men too, but you know, one moment I'll say I hate men another I'm being all smiley thinking about all the good ones in the world ^^

On the other side of things, because I'm really feeling chaotic, and the Queen really hasn't come out to be aggressive, let's talk about stuff.

Mothers always seem to be very protective of their kids, right? I made the connection today. As women we treat every public experience as a threat. I know I'm not the only one who's danger meter is always on. I took my brother to the park, we could see the house from the park, it's extremely close, but then a four year old came with her dad. It was so innocent. But what was my mindset the second they came up?

"What if he uses his child as a lure? What if he tries to kidnap me or my brother? Who do I yell to? Who's outside right now? Can my parents see us? How fast can my brother run?" 

If he walked my way I walked a different way, I didn't make eye-contact, and I know that sounds to guys like something an asshole would do, but I can't even walk to the mailbox myself without thinking about potential threats. I see a white van I'm on high alert. It's that kind of thing.

And like..as bad as it sounds on paper, and I'm sure you can agree with this too, it's just second nature. You don't consciously think about it so it doesn't really affect your day in any way, but it's still there. Guys don't have to deal with that. They just walk alone in the middle of the night no problem. Wouldn't that be so cool? I'd love to go on a night walk by myself. But I can't. 

Once men change we can stop thinking about it.

Oh so never, okay.

See how fast that happens? The I love men to I hate men? I'm still very attracted to them but so many are terrible.

A guy on tik tok said our standards were low because we were excited about a man who we could trust to hold our drink at a bar. And seeing that for the first time my instant reaction was, "But a guy you can trust like that is perfect! I don't know why you're ashtonished!" 

But like we shouldn't have to expect thattttttt. Our first instinct is to expect the worst, it's how we survive! And it really is surviving. They call women weak but we have much better survival skills than most men in the world, I can tell you that. It's not the "Oh I'm strong, I could find food in the forest, I could survive, grrrrr!" Girls walk around in public 24/7 assuming they could face a life or death situation at any moment. And for most of us it won't happen but it does. It doesn't happen often because we know how to survive. We make sure we don't die. If we're in the car or in a public place or a secure office or home or building, we don't worry, but out on the streets? It doesn't matter if you're in New York City or a small town in Wyoming, you're on alert.

Okay, bad example, no one lives in Wyoming, my bad, but you get my point.

Anyways that's why I think mothers are so protective, because they have to be. 

At least we know we have some good men on this earth.

It's why we're all here, huh?

To talk about how much we love Jikook and BTS?

7 wonderful angels?

Which speaking of angels, we're getting a new album~

And I already preordered it, I'm more broke than I've been in over a year. This month was the first time in over a year I've had less than $400 in my bank account. That's crazy.

It's cuz I bought a car and two new albums and some license plate frames and food and stuff. But it's fine, I think I'm getting payed this weekend.

Sorry that makes it sound like I'm flaunting my money. Let me give you encouragement that most of you are younger than me, so it makes sense why you don't have much money, I didn't either when I was your age. Ew I said when I was your age, I'm not old. But my point is, a lot of you aren't old enough for a job, you'll have money when you are, simple as that.

I know it's harder for some of you, and I know that there aren't many ways a lot of you can make money, and that's okay, but don't give up hope, okay? I used to flaunt how many albums I have, I won't do that anymore. It's rude and it makes you feel bad, and I don't want to make you guys feel bad, especially when you're so amazing to me ^^

But on the return you can't make me feel bad either! When I say math makes me cry don't say math is easy! Guess what!? I'm taking Senior level classes! And for you non-Americans that's the highest level you can go before college, and high school math is more difficult than any college math I'll be taking! 

Guess what? When I was taking 6th grade classes in 6th grade I thought math was easy too! But  not anymore! If you wanna come at me with your Algebra experience, be my guest, but I don't think you could solve the stuff I'm trying to solve. I know a lot of you like math and are good at math, but I'm not, so it's not very encouraging when people tell me math is easy, especially since except for some of you, who I know are older than me and I know are smarter than me (like by a ton) you guys aren't taking classes anywhere near as advanced as mine. That's all I'm asking. Like most people who comment that stuff I know and love, this isn't saying I don't like you this isn't saying I don't love you, just be a bit careful with your math comments, it's a bit of a sensitive subject as you can tell haha.

I don't know what came over me, that was very passionate. Must have been the Queen controlling my thoughts. 

It's probably also the Queen saying she wants Kang Yeosang to be her King Yeosang. 

It's not a lie tho yes I'm back on being in love with men-you know what, let me just give you the legal statement-

Here at Mikchimin's Jikook oneshots, you may experience extreme emotional whiplash over the diverse and completely different types of content we offer. Mikchimin, nor Mikayla or the Queen of Controversial Opinions is responsible for this emotional damage. If you need further care, please contact McQueen hospital, where we will give you the best care possible. All medical expenses will be covered by Jikook, our dads.

There you go, I'm not liable, okay? I love you guys and respect you but you can't sue me. That's all I'm saying. It's in The Audacity of Delumooville's records, it's concrete.

It's 12:28. Should I get going?

I don't want to but I probably should.

My mind is finally blank.

Well not blank, Yeosang's still there-

Love you guys!

Sorry for talking about Yeosang so much! I know you're not all Atinys but the fact that you're letting me is all I can ask for!

-Mikayla