In which Jungkook has had a lifelong crush on Jimin, his best friend of 7 years, and will never feel the need to confess.

42,200 words.

This one is long, and sad, because I started school and was very sad, so I portrayed that in this story. I listened to Lovesong by the cure on repeat for this song so yeah, sadness. Anyways, this was what I wrote instead of my last story which is why the last one took so long T-T.

We also hit a milestone! 150K!! Here is the thanks :D

                              •________•

Jungkook couldn't help but cry himself to sleep once again. The pain in his chest was a little too tight, his heart hurt just a little too much, and his body had bottled up enough to overflow. He ignored his texts, put on a sad song to listen to on repeat, and cried.

It was always going to be Jimin. It was always going to be him, and he knew it. There wasn't going to be anybody else. He was it. That was it.

But Jimin wasn't his, and wouldn't be. There was a zero percent chance of Jimin ever feeling the same way.

Jimin
Jungkook, I need to ask you something. College has been busy, but I've really been hitting it off with this new guy. Can you please take notes for me tomorrow?? I'll repay you with food and updates!

Jungkook
Of course hyung. Have a nice date :)

Jimin
A quick response! That's rare >:)
Thanks, you're a blessing :D

Jungkook reread it again and again and again and again. There was always someone else, always another factor, always another heather.

Jungkook would never be the one for Jimin, even if Jimin was the only one for Jungkook.

_____

He woke up eventually, his eyes tired and still red from his crying session. He checked his phone, still ignoring his other texts. What was the point of unrequited love? To tear a heart apart? Jungkook didn't know, but also didn't know why it had to be for Jimin.

Get over him. Step one, stop getting sad and jealous over his new dates.

Easy.

Jungkook decided to ignore Jimin's flow of date updates, where they were going, what he was going to wear, who it was he was going with.

Instead, he got ready for his class of the day, his and Jimin's shared one...which, well, wasn't worth it to go to without Jimin, but if Jimin asked for notes then there would be notes.

He changed his clothes into...basically the same thing. Sweater, jeans.

As he left, he bumped into some others along the way.

"Kook! Why didn't you answer me?" Taehyung spoke with a pout as he walked up to Jungkook so they could walk side by side.

"Don't you have a class hyung?" Jungkook gave him a side eye.

"Ouch, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Where's?..." he trailed off, seeing Jungkook's shot eyes. "Oh sweet jesus."

"He's on another date. And he asked me for class notes, so I'm going to class." Jungkook met Taehyung's eyes. "Hyung...how do I cut him off?"

"Jungkook, no. You can't do that. You're best friends, that's too extreme."

"It hurts. I...never mind. I need to stop, and be supportive, no matter what." Jungkook took a big breath and let it out. "Okay! Another day of school. I'll see you hyung, I'll be alright. Tell the others I can't meet up for lunch, and that I won't be replying." Jungkook gave him a smile and finger guns as they parted ways, Jungkook basically running off.

"That...stupid son of a bitch."

Class was no better, Jungkook was still in his own head. Wondering how the date went, not wanting to care, but wanting to be supportive. How does one stay a best friend, but become detached? Jimin would notice immediately if he ignored him, and would also notice if something was wrong. Thank god he wasn't here now, he'd ask about his eyes and he'd have to lie like last time.

"Oh hyung, I was watching a drama."

"What? What drama made my Kookie cry? I'll make sure you don't cry again."

"Ever heard of Suspicious Partner? I got stressed out, that's all." Jungkook thought up of his best lie.

"Mmm...not worth your tears."

Jungkook always wondered what was going to happen to them. Always wondered if they were going to cut each other off after high school, but they didn't. Now he wondered what college would do to them. Jimin was already experimenting, even questioned why Jungkook wasn't.

But he couldn't tell him. He wouldn't. Jimin was happy dating around to try and find someone suitable, and Jungkook would judge them, but would agree to some being worthy.

He didn't even realize when class ended, his notes almost useless, except for the fact that he stole glances from his neighbor the whole time to get some worthy of Jimin's attention.

The walk back to his dorm, he ran into one of his other friends.

"Dude, you look like shit."

"Yeah. Thanks Yugyeom."

"Welcome. Me and BB are heading out for lunch, wanna come with?" Yugyeom lightened the mood, noting that Jungkook also felt like shit.

"No, thanks though. I want to lay down. My head is killing me."

"Next time then?"

"I'll see. Bye." Jungkook waved awkwardly as he walked away.

He really did feel like shit. His eye hurt, his head ached, and Jimin was out on a date. His perfect Jimin, who always looked like a dream, smelled like delicate flowers, walked like a grace of the world, and was out on a date with a guy who couldn't even compare.

Hell, Jungkook could never compare.

Of course he could never. How could he? Jimin would never look at him the same, and he had to live with that.

Complete step one. Ignore the date, support your best friend.

Simple.

Jungkook finally checked his texts from Jimin after he got back to his dorm.

Jimin
Jungkoooook!!!!
It went so well!!
He actually is interested in what I have to say
I think you'll actually approve of this one, he's way better than the others
And he knows how to cook, so maybe he can teach me a thing or two
Kook
He said he's got a bit of friends if you're looking for someone too
Sorry I talked about you to him, but I couldn't help it
You alive? Class go alright?

With the amount of pictures he sent as well, Jungkook felt his chest tighten even more. He might actually get a heart attack from this. That's possible, right? To die of heartbreak?

Well, if he was to die of anything, it would be heartbreak. And it obviously wasn't broken yet, since it was still breaking.

Jungkook
He sounds like a real nice guy hyung
It went fine. Much quicker without you

Jimin
Oh good! It's quite boring anyways.
Wanna meet up for a snack?

Jungkook
Can't. I've gotta study

And so Jungkook put his phone down. He couldn't do it anymore, his chest hurt too much. He laid down to sleep.

____

Jungkook laid in bed with his heart heavy, and his eyes puffy. The ends of his eyes were deeply red, and he knew he couldn't hide that very well. He also knew he'd skipped out on his group study session just to sleep off some sadness.

He answered only Namjoon's text.

Namjoon
Jungkook, Jimin is worried about you. Please don't ignore him, I'm sorry you feel bad

Jungkook
I'm trying hyung, but I'm just really tired

And that was all he had energy for.

"Jungkook, I'm back." His dorm mate came in and saw him, letting out a soft sigh. "You okay?"

"What do you think Changkyun."

"No need to be bitter, damn." He immediately cursed him out, shaking his head as he put his things down. "What happened this time?"

"Jimin went on another date today, and he really likes him." Jungkook thought about it again and felt his eyes water. "And I don't know what to do."

"...tell him?"

"It's not so easy hyung."

"Then at least-" Changkyun was cut off by a knock on the door.

"Oh shit Changkyun will you get it? I think it's Jimin...will you tell him I'm out? I can't- I can't do this right now I'm so tired. Please hyung?" Jungkook begged, whispering his sorrows.

Changkyun looked at him for a minute before sighing. "Fine." He went over to the door.

The door opened, and Jimin's face fell when he saw Changkyun. "Oh, hey Jimin hyung. Lookin for Jungkook?"

"Yeah, is he? Is he here?" Jimin pursed his lips.

"No, he went out with Yugyeom and BamBam."

"God, such a silly nickname." Jimin shook his head. "Well, can you tell him to text or call me back?"

"Sure thing, sorry about that."

"Don't worry about it." Jimin shook his head. "Then I'll be going."

"Get back safely." Jimin bowed and left after that.

"You." Changkyun closed the door and turned to Jungkook. "Are an asshole, and a coward."

"I'm so sorry, I don't know why I couldn't do it. I thought I'd be alright with his date but I wasn't and he was going to ask about my poor poor eyes." Jungkook whined and looked at himself in the mirror, his red eyes puffy. "And come on, I can't lie to him very well."

"But now he's worried and sad. Text him back. You're best friends, dude. You're allowed to tell him shit."

"You know exactly why I can't tell him shit." Jungkook sighed. "Besides. He'd go on about his date and I'm just not doing really good today."

"One more excuse and I'm going to let him in next time. Tell him Jungkook..."

"You say it like it's so easy."

"Oh come on." Changkyun shrugged. "Own up to it and do it. You're not being truthful and he can tell, so own up to it."

"Mm..."

"Is that an excuse?" He crossed his arms.

"No...it's just that I've never been able to."

"Alright, then here's your chance. I'm heading over to Kihyun's." He grabbed a jacket and opened the door, turning back to Jungkook. "If I see him on my way out I'm telling him you're here."

"Hey! Wait wait wait!-" but the door closed behind him. "God damn it he's cold." Jungkook tried to fix himself up in the short amount of time he had, putting some eye patched under his eyes to hide them, and at least give a reason why they'd be red. A little concealer on the corner of his eyes to hide the rest of the red, then blew his nose.

The knock on the door again hurt more.

He carefully got to it, hanging his head as he opened it.

"Jeon Jungkook." Jimin had his arms crossed, his foot tapping the ground. Jungkook didn't raise his head. "Changkyun told me you weren't here when I knocked. Why didn't you let me in?"

"I looked terrible? And you would've come in and laid on me- I- I don't know." Jungkook opened the door more for Jimin to come inside, and he did. After closing the door, Jungkook still didn't raise his head.

"Those are lame excuses."

"I'm sorry. I don't have an excuse."

"What's going on Kookie?" Jimin stood in front of Jungkook, hand resting on his arm. "You didn't come to our study session today, and you didn't even want to go out with me for some food. Are you getting sick?"

"Yeah, I think I am." Jungkook shook his head, still not looking at him. His chest hurt, his cheeks burned. Heartsick, maybe.

"Then why couldn't you just tell me that? What's going on in that head of yours?" Jimin spoke softly, all his initial anger going away. Jungkook's chest ached even more. Jimin's kindness was too much. Jimin gave a soft knock on Jungkook's chest. "Let me in Jungkook."

"Jimin..." Jungkook spoke weakly.

"Tell me Jungkook. What's going on?"

"I can't...I can't tell you. You'll get worried and before you know it you'll be feverish as well." Jungkook shook his head, finally looking up at Jimin.

"You slept in those? You should take them off." Jimin reached up to take off the eye patches, but Jungkook put his hand over Jimin's to stop him.

"I put them on right after I woke up."

Jimin's eyes pierced through him. "...let me in Jungkook."

"You are in hyung." Jungkook reassured him, but Jimin's eyes wavered.

"It doesn't feel like I am anymore. What happened Jungkook?"

Jungkook lowered his gaze. "I'm just having a hard time, I'm sorry I'm pushing you away. But I don't want you to think it's only you, it's kinda everyone." Jungkook sighed. "And I know that doesn't make it better, but that's what it is."

"Kook...I don't want you to push me away because of some stress."

You are the stress hyung. "I just want to figure it all out."

"Please...don't ignore me."

Don't leave me for someone else, please. "I promise I won't."

"Then answer my texts, damn it. Tell me what's going on. There has to be something more."

I don't want to hear about your dates. "There's nothing more."

"Kookie..." Jimin took off the eye patches. "What's wrong? Let me help you. Please. You know I'll always help you, no matter what."

"Hyung..." I can't tell you.

"Come on, let's at least wind down." Jimin dragged him to Jungkook's bed, the two laying down. Jimin cuddled up to him. "Tell me what's going on in that head of yours. Have you eaten?"

"I haven't. I'll eat before practice tomorrow." Jungkook closed his eyes, taking in Jimin's scent. His hair was nice to smell, definitely comforting.

"That's not very good..."

"I can't eat this late."

"Mmm..." Jimin shook his head and held on tight to Jungkook. "You're avoiding it."

It's you. "I know. But...I'm not willing to talk about it yet." I can't talk about you. "Tell me about your date hyung. You seemed awfully excited about it."

Step one: failed. Ignore the date, be a supportive friend.

"It went nicely. He was really kind...but I'm not sure about him. He was really confident, so I'm not sure if he's actually interested in me for me."

"I think people are usually awkward and fumble a lot when they're interested."

"Not everyone's like you Kookie." Jimin sighed with a smile. "Sometime I wish they were."

"They were?..."

"Like you. You know, kind, honest, and humble. But that's never apparent on the first date."

Jungkook's mouth dried. "Are you going on another date with him?"

Jimin seemed to take his time with this answer. Maybe he could hear Jungkook's heartbeat, or maybe he was just being cautious around him. "I am."

"When?"

Jimin gave a huge sign. "Next time our class is. It's the only time he's free."

"Oh. That's alright. I hope it's as nice as this one was." This again. This stupid feeling.

Jungkook's chest ached, his eyes stinging. Jimin must've felt the air become tense and Jungkook not breathing. "Are you okay?" Jimin sat up a little, looking at Jungkook.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Jungkook. Somethings not alright with you and I won't know what it is if you don't say it." Jimin's eyes held concern, but Jungkook simply kept his eyes closed.

"I'm alright hyung." Lying feels so bad.

"I don't want to push it, but obviously you're not. Do you just want a silent hug? Do you need reassurance? Tell me how I can help. You've gotta let me in."

Let him comfort you Jungkook, god damn it just accept the love that you can get. "I..." but nothing else came out. Instead, his throat closed up, and he opened his eyes to see Jimin's very concerned face peering down on him.

"Jungkook...just tell me what's wrong..." Jimin caressed his cheek, and that just so happened to be Jungkook's breaking point.

He bursted into tears, Jimin's love and kindness overwhelming him with a sense of such intense loneliness. His friendship. He was his friend, there was no love as a partner in his fingertips, but love as a friend, as a second choice. The softness of his touch was meant for Jungkook, yes, but not meant to be interpreted as anything more.

The absolute pain of unrequited love had Jungkook sobbing.

"Oh Jungkook, come here. Let it out, come on." Jimin got Jungkook to sit up before hugging him, rocking them a little from side to side. "You don't have to say a thing, just let it out."

And so he did. They eventually laid down again, Jungkook sniffing here and there, but they didn't speak. Jimin whispered sweet things into his ear sometimes, but that was it.

And that's all it would be.

"Do you want me to head home?"

"You can stay." Jungkook spoke quickly, cursing himself for answering immediately.

"Alright." Jungkook could hear the smile on Jimin's face, and it relaxed him.

It was time to be petty. "If you get with him, he'll be okay with this right?"

"Of course! He has to be. You're my best friend, this is what we do."

"So if he doesn't like it?"

"Then screw him." Jimin laughed a little, the vibrations going through Jungkook. "You come before a guy I'll date. All of you do."

Ah, the pettiness backfired. It's about all of us in the end, isn't it? I'm being selfish.

Step two: stop being selfish. This is about Jimin.

"That makes sense. We wouldn't want to break up what we have now." Jungkook hurt himself with his own words.

"One day. One day I'm going to break through with you. I've known you for years and years...yet there's still some pieces of you I don't know." Jimin burrowed his face into Jungkook's chest. "You gotta let me in."

If I let you in you might just drown from sorrow. "You are in hyung."

"I'm obviously missing something. I'm not stupid."

But an idiot, yes. How can you not tell I'm in love with you? "It's something for another time."

"But you'll tell me?"

"When the time comes."

"Alright. Then I'll wait till then."

____

"So how'd it go?" Changkyun spoke softly after Jimin left in the morning. He was always kinder in the mornings.

"I didn't tell him."

"Why the fuck not?"

"Changkyun...he kinda has a boyfriend." Jungkook sighed heavily.

"Didn't he have one like, a month ago?" He gave him a confused look, the two getting ready for their days.

Jungkook sighed heavily again. "Yes."

"And you're going for him why?"

"I'm not interested in anyone else." Jungkook looked down. "I've liked him since the sixth grade."

"That's rough." He winced for Jungkook. "Look, I'm not too big on all those kinds of feelings, but I know that if this is gunna be a, you know, forever thing, then maybe you should just tell him before he gets another boyfriend." Changkyun shook his head. "Maybe my hyungs could talk to you?"

"No, I've got my own telling me what I should do. But I think I knocked some worry off of Jimin hyung so I'll be alright for a month or so." Jungkook shrugged. "I'm heading out now. Have a nice class."

The two parted ways, Jungkook checking his phone.

Taehyung
How'd it go? Jimin said you two talked it out a bit?

Jungkook
Not about the actual problem. Just stuff I made up, I know it's bad but he was just too excited about his new date

He looked through some others, biting his lip roughly as he left them on read.

"Hey hey, don't go making yourself bleed." Jungkook ran into Hoseok. "What's going on?"

"Ah! Hyung, sorry about that. Jimin's got another date, moved to today. So I'm just...going through that now."

"Ah, alright. He's still going to the study today though, you coming?"

"Yeah, I think I'll be able to." Jungkook checked the time on his phone. "I might be a tad late though."

"That's alright. As long as you come." Hoseok grinned. "Right?"

"Right. I'll see you guys then. Practice is going to kill me today."

"You'll do great!" Hoseok slapped him on the back, the two parting.

Jungkook sighed but made his way to his class.

Dance went easily, and his vocal practices nearly killed him.

By the time he got to their study group, there was barely anyone else in the library. "God, sorry I'm so late, class seemed to run longer than I thought it would." Jungkook set his bag down and sat next to Jimin, getting his books out.

"That's alright. I'm glad you're here." He nudged him, their shoulders staying together.

Jungkook smiled a little, letting their knees knock together as well. "Me too."

Jungkook saw the others give him glances, but he ignored them. Jimin was in his own world, doing school work like a good student, while Jungkook doodled, read a little, then distracted Jimin.

"Jungkookie, you gotta let me work." Jimin spoke with a smile, his soft voice making Jungkook remember his pain.

"You always work anyways." Jungkook scribbled on his notes, leaving a smiley face.

"Fair enough. You better be working too."

"I will." Jungkook kept drawing on Jimin's paper, adding flowers, some cursed images, and eventually some hearts. Just to spice things up.

"Cute." Jimin smiled at him, knocking their knees together again.

Jimin's just touchy. He's like this with everyone. "But are they pretty? I tried really hard with the flowers." Jungkook pointed them out, earning a laugh from the table.

"Jungkook, if you're not here to study, that what in gods name are you here to do?" Taehyung carefully poked at him.

Jungkook blushed on the spot, seeing Taehyung smile. "For social interaction."

"Mmhmm." Namjoon spoke for the first time, his eyes glued to his homework.

"What. What's that for hyung? This is the only time I see all of you guys." Jungkook huffed.

"It's the only time? You could eat out with us sometimes."

"I'm not a huge fan of Jin hyungs obvious flirting and Namjoon hyungs obliviousness, alright? It gets a little sickening after a while."

Hoseok glared at him. "And you're any better?"

Jimin smiled with confusion. "Hm?"

"Nothing, never mind." Jungkook blushed again.

"At least Namjoon is aware, right?" Taehyung looked up from his book, the group now distracted. Namjoon gulped.

"We haven't...discussed anything? He flirts around, I thought- doesn't he do that with everyone?" Namjoon finally looked up. "Doesn't he?"

"Hyung..." everyone shook their head. "He's...he's told you he wants to be in a relationship with you..."

"Oh, right, that." Namjoon laughed nervously, his blush creeping up onto his face. "Yeah, I'm, well, I'm not sure if he meant it. He was kinda drunk, you know Yoongi hyung, the two drink a lot." He shook his head. "We haven't talked about it. I doubt he even remembers."

Everyone sighed. "Hyung-" Jungkook started but was cut off.

"Drop it Jungkook." Namjoon gave a fair warning. The two were in the same boat, just different sides. "Now get back to- oh fuck it. Want to go get some boba? I'll buy."

"Yes." Jungkook immediately took the offer. "Hyung?" Jungkook looked at Jimin, who gave a sad smile.

"I can't."

"Oh. Alright." Jungkook smiled anyways, but his chest hurt. It hurt a lot. A lot more than usual. For some reason, this newer boyfriend felt like he was going to stick around, and Jungkook's aching 7 year longing heart simply was not having a nice time.

"But go on without me guys, I'll be sure to join next time."

They cleaned their space and headed off, Jimin heading a separate way.

"It's alright Jungkook. You know they don't last all too long." Taehyung patted his back.

"But still. He's never going to look at me the way I look at him. And I don't know how much longer I can handle that. And he's got two more years of college and then...and then what? Cut it off? He's never going to let me go. Because we're best friends." Jungkook took a deep breath. "Enough about that. You've all heard me talk about it before."

"I guess...but it's still good to talk about it." Hoseok, ever so kindly, reminded him, giving him another pat on the back with Taehyung.

"Let's talk about Namjoon hyung then." Taehyung suggested, getting Namjoon to huff.

"I can easily not pay for your drink."

"Heyyyy, come on." Taehyung whined. "At least Jin hyung is actively into you. Jimin is a lost cause. Maybe. There might be hope for poor, poor Jungkook." Taehyung rolled his head to the side to see Jungkook's glare.

"He's a bit older than me though. I wonder if that's alright." Namjoon thought for a while. "I wonder what my parents would think."

"He's Kim Seokjin. I'm sure they'd love him." Hoseok rolled his eyes. "He's a high class actor for heavens sake. I'm not even sure how you really know him."

"We...we met when I was a freshman. He was a junior. You want the whole story?" Namjoon gave them a look, and they nodded.

They went into the boba shop, Namjoon letting them order, and then paying. They got their drink and went somewhere to sit before he got to his story.

"I was literally running to class, Hoseok hadn't transferred yet, so I didn't have many friends, and low and behold...I ran right into him. Now, let me make it clear that he was, and is, the most handsome man I have ever seen. I thought he wasn't even a student." Namjoon smiled at the memory. "But he was helping out the teacher for my class that day, and I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. I'm a notoriously good student, I sit in the front, I take good notes, but I was so out of it that class that, god, my professor asked if I was okay."

"Oh no!" Taehyung covered his mouth. They all felt the second hand embarrassment.

"Yeah. So anyways, I was red, and Seokjin hyung...god, he laughed. And I think I lost it in the moment. I think I lost whatever feeling I could've ever had for someone else in that one moment." Namjoon sighed.

Jungkook felt his heart twinge in pain again. Namjoon really was in the same boat as him.

"So how'd you two meet though? How'd he get interested in you?" Taehyung was fully invested, while Hoseok could tell that Jungkook was taking everything to heart. Hoseok always noticed the little things.

"I always stay after class to ask questions I didn't have previous time to ask, and he answered a lot of them for the professor. And he could tell I was flustered immediately, so he flirted cautiously. I'm a bit of a dimwit, but I got the message. So I waited for him to finish his talk with the professor after my questions, and we went on a coffee date."

"That day?!" The three looked at Namjoon with wide eyes, and he laughed.

"Yeah. You're right when you all say he's straightforward. But...I told him it would have to wait. I'm focusing on my school, and he should've as well. Going into acting was rough, and honestly...I thought he was going to forget about me once he graduated. I even betted on it."

"So why don't you want to be with him?" Jungkook shook his head in confusion a little.

"I'm not sure...if that's the kind of spotlight I want. A celebrities boyfriend. In this world. I'm just not sure." Namjoon shook his head too. "There's no hiding that. But I will admit, he's continued to show interest, and so have I. I just haven't...haven't talked to him about all the big issues yet."

"That's fair. That's really sweet of him though."

"He's been kind enough to introduce me and Hoseok to Yoongi hyung as well, so...he does want to help as well."

"He's such a cool producer." Jungkook smiled and drank his drink. "What can I even offer to Jimin?"

"Your undying love." Taehyung smiled wide, clapping his hands together while leaning his body to nudge Jungkook.

"He obviously hasn't noticed that hyung."

"Then make him notice. Confess your love to him, make him see you as a love interest instead of his best friend, like a brother."

Jungkook nearly died. "If he ever used that line on me I will end my life."

"Better not let him. I'll dig a grave for him if he does." Taehyung shook his head. "That's a k.o."

"I know it's hard to confess to someone in general, and making it a long term crush makes it even harder...but Jungkook, I think you're losing yourself a bit because of this. You need to do it." Namjoon and the others nodded their heads. "People have died because of heartbreak you know..."

"I know. But I'll be okay. He'll be happy, and I'll love him anyways. That's how it's always been."

"It can change you know."

"I know. But...I can't imagine him ever looking at me like I'm an adult with romantic feelings for him." Jungkook sighed and looked out the window. "I simply can't."

"There has to be a way to open his eyes. Like...I cannot believe he hasn't noticed you're in love with him."

"I can. He's a touchy person, and I accept affection from certain people. He knows that, so it's not weird for him to receive affection from me, so affection is out. I stare at him all the time, so that's out. What are other signs?"

"Gifts?"

"All the time."

"Quality time."

"Every chance I get."

"Words of...affirmation."

"I always compliment him."

"Uh, oh god...acts of service is the last one?"

"I always help him out. You see what I mean? The love languages, I do them all for him already. If I did one, he wouldn't know the difference because that's normal for us." Jungkook slumped in his seat. "Everything is normal to him, while everything for me means so much."

"It'll be alright. I'm sure...I'm positive he'll see it one day."

"He gets boyfriend after boyfriend, and I have to be his friend and say positive things." Jungkook let out a large sigh. "I'm sorry, I brought the mood down again."

"No no, it's okay." Namjoon reassured him. "I had a lot of talks with Hoseok about Jin hyung, so I get it. And really, we want to help. This is good information to have. We need to know how you're doing."

"Well, obviously not well." Jungkook took a big breath. "He came over yesterday and I cried. We didn't talk about anything, he just let me cry and he stayed over. And then he left like everything was okay. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I felt such peace...yet so much pain."

"And now you're a poet."

"Changkyun has been suspiciously more poetic recently." Jungkook mused at the idea, still looking out the window of the boba shop. "I can't think of a reason why I would be loved by him." Jungkook's alarm went off, surprising him. "Oh, I've got another practice in half an hour. I'll be going then." He stood, but Taehyung held his arm.

"Jungkook. Be safe. You can always talk to us, so stop leaving us on read."

Jungkook grinned. "It's fine. I answer you in my heart." He got them to laugh as he left.

____

The group spoke quietly about Jimin, knowing he'd be coming soon. "Jungkook, just tell him. At this point he's suspicious." Hoseok whispered. Even Namjoon wasn't working.

"And he's only got another year before he graduates after this one."

"I don't want to. He's fine with being friends, so I will be too."

"But you're not."

"Well fuck me I guess." Jungkook rolled his eyes, seeing Jimin from the corner of his eye. "Speak of the devil." Jungkook organized himself and started on his homework.

"What'd I miss?" Jimin set his bag down and sat next to Jungkook, who left a gap between their them. Jimin closed the gap, nudging their shoulders. Jungkook tapped their knees, to let Jimin know everything was alright.

"Nothing much. Just Taehyung trying to gulp down every bit of sugar he brought with hm today."

"I need energy, and I need it now. I've got a hell of an audition today and I need to get it."

"Absolutely fair. You'll kill it." Jimin gave him a smile.

"I might kill someone, yeah."

They laughed before getting to work. Jimin glanced at Jungkook often.

"Something on my face hyung?" Jungkook spoke without looking up, a smile inching on his face.

"No. I'm just thinking."

"About me? I'm honored."

"I think I won't be with this new boyfriend." Jimin spoke suddenly getting all of their attentions.

"Really?!" Jungkook whisper yelled, snapping his head to Jimin, a wild smile on his face. "Why?" He felt astatic, before realizing that was a weird reaction.

"Doesn't feel right."

"Well...you know best." Jungkook slowly lost his smile, trying to hide it. Jimin watched him and the others watch them.

"Why doesn't it feel right?"

"Dunno. He's too...comfortable. There's no fluttering with him."

Jungkook was still smiling, trying to make it go away. "Well, at least you know now and not into the relationship."

"What's so funny Jungkook?" Jimin questioned him, seeing Jungkook blush a little.

"Nothing funny. I just...well, I knew it."

"Knew what?"

"That...he wasn't going to be it. If someone doesn't get butterflies around you, then gosh, something's wrong with them." Jungkook laughed nervously, and Jimin looked at him weirdly. Jungkook looked at his books in fear.

"Is that what y'all were talking about before I got here?"

Taehyung sighed with relief. "Yeah. Sorry it seemed so secretive. But we didn't want to hurt your feelings."

Jimin relaxed finally. "That's alright. You guys should've told me if you had bad vibes from him, you know I'll trust you."

"Well, you've gotta test the waters first." Hoseok smiled. "Besides, it wasn't our place to say anything yet."

"Ah, alright. Did you bet on it?" Jimin nudged Jungkook's shoulder.

Jungkook laughed a little. "Knowing how you date, there was a 100 percent chance of you not being with him."

"Hey! I just haven't found the right guy yet." Jimin shook his head. "Who knows where they are."

"You never know hyung." Jungkook spoke quietly. "Maybe they're closer than you think."

"Well, maybe. But well, not at this table." Jimin raised an eyebrow and went back to his work.

"I've gotta go." Jungkook spoke quietly, checking his phone. He was early to his alarm, and Jimin gave him an odd look. He packed his bag, and waved goodbye. He couldn't stay there.

He wiped his eyes as he walked away, still an hour before his next class. God it hurt so god damn much. It hurt more than usual. Jimin especially wasn't looking at him in a special way.

He kept wiping his eyes, keeping his head down, pulling his sleeves down more and more. When he got to his dorm room Changkyun was already there, looking up at him in surprise.

"Oh! You're...skipping class? My hyung is coming over to help me with some homework, are...are you okay?" He finally saw Jungkook's face.

"Sorry." Jungkook flopped on his bed and curled up. "Jimin said he wouldn't be interested in me indirectly and I just...maybe I need to transfer schools."

"Oh god..." Changkyun set down his notebook to comfort Jungkook. "You shouldn't transfer. You should just talk to him. And I know that sounds easier said than done, but I mean it. Communication is key, and obviously it's missing here."

"How can I even begin to tell him? What if I ruin our friendship?"

"Are you happy in your relationship as it is now?" Changkyun spoke over him.

Jungkook looked up at him. "I...I'm not. But he is, so it's okay. That's how it works."

"And since when did you become less than him?"

A knock on the door made Changkyun sigh. He went to get it, letting in his hyung.

"Oh, bad timing?"

"Yeah, but that's okay. You're better at this stuff anyways. Hyung, this is Jungkook, he's a freshman. Jungkook, this is Hyunwoo hyung. He's good with making people feel better."

"Nice to meet you." Jungkook sniffed a little, but sat up to bow.

"What's going on then? Changkyun doesn't always ask for help, you must be a special friend." Hyunwoo sat next to Jungkook on his bed, setting down his bag. Changkyun sat on his own bed, wringing his hands together.

"My best friend doesn't want to date me, but I've liked him for years. Literally 7 years. And he just told me today he wouldn't be interested in dating me, indirectly, but still."

"Oh...you poor thing." Hyunwoo shook his head. "That must hurt a lot." He took Jungkook's hands, holding them together to be a better support.

"It does." Jungkook took the affection.

"Changy, what did you tell him to do?"

"I told him to tell Jimin. Maybe if he gets if off his chest it'll hurt less. Or they can at least take more steps forward."

"But what if it goes backwards?" Jungkook fret, eyes wide.

"Love is a tough thing Changkyunie, it's delicate. And such a long friendship...it might harm it. I know that friendships can continue through one of them liking the other but...this feels more like lovesickness."

"It might be."

"You know, it would be better if he stopped dating around." Changkyun laid on his bed now, letting Hyunwoo take care of the affection.

"He dates around too? Oh gosh..." he patted Jungkook's hands. "I wish I could help more."

"Do you have any advice? I'm taking anything at this point." Jungkook sniffed his last sniff. He was feeling a bit better with Hyunwoo around, he was good at this. Maybe Namjoon hyung would be nice too, but their study was still happening.

"Take it slow. I know you already are, but obviously he's slow to realize. And that's okay. You shouldn't have to out yourself to him. It should be something organic."

"So don't talk to him?"

"You can, if it's bugging you enough to give you pain. But you don't have to force it to happen."

"That sounds really nice, thank you." Jungkook bowed a little to show his respect. "Anything else?"

"Not that I can think of at the moment. Love is such a harsh topic. But it's alright to keep loving him. There's nothing wrong with loving someone who doesn't love you back."

Jungkook sighed heavily. "Yeah. You're right. Thank you."

"If you want I can give you my number any time you want to talk."

"I would really appreciate that." Jungkook felt him release his hands and they got their phones out, trading numbers. "Thank you. You seem to know your way around the issue..."

"Changkyunie has had a couple crushes." He grinned at Changkyun, gaining a glare in return.

"There's no need to talk about it."

"Fine fine." He laughed.

"Oh god, I've gotta get ready for dance. I'll be back later tonight Changkyun hyung, Yugyeom invited me out."

"Alright. I'll be here. I'll eat anything if you bring it back?" He gave a smile, and Jungkook smiled back.

"I'll bring you something then."

"Sounds amazing."

"Will you be here too Hyunwoo hyung?"

"Who knows."

"Then I'll bring extra. See you later!" Jungkook left his room after grabbing his dance bag.

He only slightly rushed, avoiding the library just in case. God he felt so bad about it, but he did it anyways. Avoiding Jimin was the best idea at the moment.

He just kept shattering his heart into tinier pieces.

His class ended late, and he was tired and sweaty. Yugyeom's texts were just too excited.

Yugyeom
Brooooooo guess what???
Oh still in class my bad
But Jackson hyung said he tricked Mark hyung into going too so Mark is gunna pay for us
Free food!

Jungkook
Sounds great
Still at the same place?

Yugyeom
Yeah, same place
We're eating outside though cause I've gotten complains from the owner that BB is too loud lmaoo

Jungkook
I'm not surprised. I'm heading over now

Jungkook started to make his way over, not answering his other texts. Maybe he should tell Jimin he was going out. That might make him worry less. Or maybe more, since now it seemed like he was ignoring him more. But if he didn't tell him, that was definitely ignoring him. But on the other hand if he did tell him he was going out then he was ignoring Jimin's request to eat out together.

"God damn it." Jungkook cursed under his breath, deciding to text Jimin once he got to the restaurant.

The walk was long, but nice. He cleared his mind a little, enjoying the city and people going about their day. When he got the restaurant, Yugyeom and BB were waiting outside.

"And he called me- you wanna know why he called me? He tried to pronounce my name. Kunpimook. You know what he called me instead?"

"Jungkook!" Yugyeom saw him, cutting off their previous conversation. "Over here, Jackson and Mark are inside in line. We're loud so we're outside."

"Fair enough. How've you been BB?" Jungkook smiled a little. It was nice to see him again.

"Well, some guy saw my name tag at my job today and called me Koomipook, so not great. Maybe he had dyslexia."

Jungkook cracked a smile. "Seems like we've both had rough days."

"Oh no, what happened?"

"Jimin said he wouldn't be interested in dating anyone at the table, me included. So I've had it rough for a couple hours now."

"Ooo, that's a rough burn." Yugyeom winced with BB.

"That's no where close to my pain, I thought you meant a funny bad day, not a shitty day."

"Hopefully some free food will help out."

"Oh thank god, we got a table now." Yugyeom saw Mark and Jackson come out of the building and take a seat at an outside table. They all took a seat, and ordered.

"Jungkook, is that true? What you said?" Mark raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I'm eternally fucked." Jungkook sighed. "But I'll be alright. Eventually."

Their meal was delicious, and was exactly what Jungkook needed. A delicious, free meal, while the conversation was more about the others and not his pathetic love life.

"Thank you so much hyungs." Jungkook profusely thanked Mark and Jackson for splitting the bill, while the three youngers got to eat for free.

"Don't even mention it. BB passed a big test so we're just celebrating for him."

"Thank you again." Jungkook smiled wide, the five splitting off in different directions. On his walk back to campus, he heard his name.

"-kook! Jungkook!" Jungkook turned around to see a red faced Jimin walking up to him.

"Jimin hyung?" Jungkook widened his eyes. He forgot to text him where he was. "Hyung, let me explain-"

"What is happening Jungkook?" He finally got up to him, grabbing his collar and pulling him down so they were eye to eye. "Why are you being so- so closed off?!"

"H-hyung, were in public-" Jungkook spoke quietly, sputtering his words out.

"I don't care." Jimin lowered his voice as well. "You always tell me when you're going out with Yugyeom, and you were even minutes from my apartment. I thought you were acting weird today too, but I didn't want to say anything but this crosses the line." Jimin shook his head and let go of his collar.

"Hyung, I forgot to text you, that's it."

"Oh that's it?" Jimin reached up and grabbed Jungkook's ear, walking them in the opposite direction.

"Ow ow ow ow ow- hyung! Ow ow ow ow-" Jungkook didn't resist, instead walking with him and lowering his head so it didn't hurt as much.

"I've had enough of your excuses, you're going to talk to me."

"I'll walk with you just let my ear go- ow ow, hyung, ow-"

"You've given me a lot of stress." Jimin kept dragging him along.

"If we pass my hyungs I'm going to die..." Jungkook mumbled.

"They should see."

"Hyung- ow- hyung, w-why do I need to text you everywhere I go? You're not my parent..."

Jimin tugged a little harder. His petite body was full of anger, and Jungkook felt it. "I'm not trying to be your parent! I'm- I'm trying to be...I...your safety is important to me." Jimin's tone changed a little, and he loosened his grip for a second before gripping it harder. "This hasn't been an issue before Jungkook."

"Ow! You're right, damn it, let go hyung, please, I'm sorry- ow!" Jungkook whined. "I'm sorry hyung-"

"Don't apologize. I wanna hear it when we get home."

"It's not our home..."

"It damn well should be." Jimin finally let go of his ear as they went up the stairs and he got the keys to his apartment out of his pocket. "I don't know why you insist on staying in a dorm when you could easily stay here with me. Unless, that's a problem for you somehow? Tell me what's going on Jungkook." Jimin led them to his living room, sitting Jungkook down, then sitting right next to him.

Jungkook shook his head. "I...I don't know."
I can't tell him. I can never tell him. "I..." Jungkook's voice died off.

"Why did you leave so early today?" Jimin placed a hand on Jungkook's thigh, leaning forward. "Did I do something wrong?"

His eyes were earnest, but his touch was...something else.

"Please Jungkook. I know I'm missing something and it's been a month now...I feel so left out of your life, and it's hurting me. I...I'm not graduating yet...why are you trying to get rid of me?" Jungkook watched Jimin's doubts cloud his eyes.

"Hyung no!" Jungkook put his hand over Jimin's. "I'm not trying to get rid of you. I'm just going through something rough, and I'm...not willing to talk about it. I'm sorry." Jungkook sighed and pursed his lips. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize, just...stop being so distant. When you're distant with only me, I can't help but think bad things." Jimin shook his head. "You went out with a whole group today. Changkyun told me that his hyung was there too and you guys talked. I...I don't know why I feel the need to know what you're doing, or where you're going, but I just...it feels like you're hiding something."

Jungkook let go of Jimin's hand, realizing he was still touching him, before blushing and realizing Jimin's hand on his thigh was still very much there.

"Like that! What is going on Jungkook? When have you been so sensitive to my touch? Am I giving you too much affection? Is that it? Or am I being too clingy? Is that what it is?" Jimin moved away and ran his hands through his hair, obviously stressed.

"Jimin, I'm so sorry. It's not you at all. Please don't- please don't stop giving me affection, I need it." Jungkook inched closer before moving back. "God damn it." Jungkook slapped his hand to his forehead, seeing how Jimin would be confused by how he was acting. "I should just get going, I've gotta do more homework-"

"Oh no you don't." Jimin grabbed his wrist, almost glaring. "I'm not letting you leave until we're on the same page. I'm so confused. You're not telling me something."

"I can't tell you hyung." Jungkook felt his confidence waver, Jimin's eyes wide with concern.

"Why? Why can't you tell me, but you can tell everyone else?"

"I...I haven't told anyone hyung. Maybe Changkyun, but he's my dorm mate, he was bound to find out."

Jimin bit his lip. "I don't get it. I thought...we're best friends Jungkook. Why can't I know this certain thing?"

I can't ruin our friendship. Not this way. Not any way. "I just can't hyung. It's something I've gotta do myself. No one can really help me."

"Why not? I want to help you..." Jimin's eyes seemed to water up, making Jungkook panic.

"Hyung, there isn't a way you can help me, I'm sorry." I'm too far gone at this point. Kill me now.

"I don't need you to apologize. I just...am I pushing too far?"

"You're not. You're not being too affectionate, or too clingy, and I'm not trying to get rid of you. I'm just having a hard time with some personal stuff."

"Why can't I know? Please, help me understand." Jimin moved closer again, setting his hand back on Jungkook's thigh carefully.

Jungkook felt his cheeks heat up again. "I've...I can't hyung." Jungkook looked away, trying to hide his face. "Maybe another time, when I'm more okay."

"So you're not okay."

"I'm not. But I've gotta think some things through first. I'll try and lighten up. And try and stop acting so weird."

Jimin sighed heavily. "Okay. Okay. I need to stop pushing you so far. Please, tell me if I'm making you uncomfortable with this. Just please...please don't push me away. I'm frail...at the moment." Jimin lowered his head, his hand on Jungkook's thigh tightening.

"W-why is that hyung?"

"Do you even think I'll find someone to be with while in college? I never seem to find anyone worth staying with."

Jungkook's chest ached. He wished he could just lean close, hold him closer, and tell him it was all alright, that he was going to be okay, and that maybe the person worth staying with was right in front of him.

"I'm sure there's someone hyung."

"I dunno anymore Jungkookie. When you don't trust them, well, then neither do I. And so far that's been everyone. Maybe I just have bad taste."

"I don't think you do...I just think...they're all looking at your body instead of who you are."

"Oh yeah? And what do you see when you look at me?"

Jungkook swallowed his spit. "I see more than a pretty body. So you should too." Jungkook gave a weak half smile.

"Mmm." Jimin hummed, staring at his hand on Jungkook's thigh. "I know we don't really discuss these things but...will you tell me? How you see me?" Jimin looked up at him once again.

Jungkook's eyes softened, placing his hand back on top of Jimin's. "Hyung...are you having problems with your self image? There's nothing to be self conscious about...you're perfect." Jungkook said it earnestly, fully meaning it with his whole heart, and he wished Jimin could feel that in his own heart.

Perhaps, maybe it wasn't so bad to be overly kind to Jimin.

"You mean it?"

"Who made you think otherwise?" Jungkook felt protective over Jimin's emotions. No one should ever be able to hurt Jimin. He radiated happiness, love, and safety. No one was allowed to take that away from him. "Hyung, let me at them, I'll make sure they understand a few things."

Jimin laughed a little, making Jungkook smile. He just wanted to always make him smile. God this hurt. "No, there's no need for that. But if there is...I'll let you have your fun. How much longer can you stay?" Jimin's question was quiet.

"As long as you need hyung." Jungkook let his guard down, seeing Jimin so down. "To make it up to you. I've been weird and I don't mean to be."

"But do you want to stay?"

"I do. Anything for you."

Jimin gave him an odd look, and Jungkook decided to put his walls back up. "Will Changkyun miss you?"

"How long are you thinking of keeping me around?" Jungkook smiled a little.

"The night...if you're willing."

"Oh." Jungkook's eyes lit up before hiding his excitement. "Yeah, I can...I don't have class till later. So...yeah, I can."

"Text Changkyun then, he'll appreciate it."

"Oh god, I'm sorry you had to go to my dorm first. Why were you there?" Jungkook remembered that Jimin went to his dorm as he wiggled his phone out of his pocket, Jimin's hand staying on his thigh.

Jungkook
Hey, I'm staying the night with Jimin hyung, no snacks tonight. I'll bring food tomorrow morning?

Changkyun
Shit dude, are y'all?...

Jungkook
No!! No no no, just...friend stuff, nothing else. Comforting time for him

Jungkook flushed a little from the short conversation. "I'm good to stay. I'm still in my clothes from dance though, so...maybe a shower- maybe a shower might be nice?"

"Of course. You know your way around." Jimin finally let go of Jungkook's thigh. "I'll give you some clothes once you're in the shower." They got up, Jungkook heading to the bathroom. "Oh and Jungkook? Thank you."

"No problem hyung. If you ever need some comfort, I'm here."

"Thanks." He smiled and Jungkook hurried off.

Nights like this entailed sleeping in the same bed, eating snacks and watching movies, while Jimin talked about some things bugging him, and Jungkook would do the same. But after Jungkook's multiple avoidances, maybe tonight would be awkward. Oh god, Jungkook hoped he hadn't made anything awkward, he probably did. His reaction was too much. He was usually good at hiding that, oh god why did it happen this time, now that things seemed shakier?

"Jungkook! I'm leaving clothes here now, leave me some hot water."

Jungkook remembered where he was, and finished his shower. He got dressed halfway, leaving the shirt off since it was too small. He dried his hair more, leaving the towel on his head as he went out.

"Hyung, this shirts too small, mind if I find a different one?"

"Oh fuck yeah sure." Jimin cursed quietly under his breath. Jungkook looked at him in confusion.

"Why'd you cursed?"

"I should've know you're not going to fit into my shirts." He was looking away now, getting his own clothes. "I'll take a quick shower. Raid my kitchen if you'd like."

"Have a nice shower." Jungkook shrugged it off and went to Jimin's dresser, rummaging through possible shirts. They all were really small, the closest one to fit him was still a bit tight. He sighed, and waiting for Jimin to finish his shower so he could hang up his towel. He sat on the bed as he waited, checking his phone.

He guiltily looked at some text messages he hadn't answered, seeing one from Changkyun...that he didn't read? Did he? It was read, but- well, maybe he left his phone open for a second.

Changkyun
Dude, maybe...do the thing? This is a good time to do it. You should tell him. He needs to know, and he's worried. Tell him

Jungkook
I'm here to comfort only, that'll be another day

He left that conversation, seeing that Jimin had texted him a bit too.

Jimin
You alright? Your class isn't till later
Hey, you okay?
Okay it's class time now for you. Tell me how you are when you're done?
It's kinda later now, you good?
Are you at xxx restaurant?
You little...

Jungkook left those on read, feeling a bit bad about that. He truly meant to text him first. He decided to check his others as well.

Namjoon
Hey uh...you doing alright? Jimin gave a harsh reality check, but he was really concerned about you afterwards, so tell me when you're alright so I can rest easy

Jungkook
I'm good now. Better, at least
I'm staying the night with Jimin

Namjoon
And you'll be okay?

Jungkook
I should be. We'll see hyung. I'll see

Namjoon was too kind, really. He wished Jimin wasn't as oblivious. But at the same time, this friendship was more important.

"Keep at it Kookie, keep at it." Jungkook talked to himself, finally hearing the water turn off of the shower. Jimin came out not too much later, and Jungkook...Jungkook somehow forgot that Jimin was absolutely perfect.

With his bare face, his lips became even more plump, his cheeks a little more round, and everything inside of Jungkook's heart crash landed. "Talking to yourself?"

"Yeah." Jungkook's voice was breathy, all the air leaving his body just to say that one word. His shirt was...how could he forget? Jimin still slept in the one shirt Jungkook had given him. "You still wear that thing? It's old, at- at least let me give you a different one."

"No, this ones important." Jimin tugged on the shirt, looking down with a small smile. "It reminds me of you."

Jungkook felt like crying. "Well...it was mine."

Jimin giggled and walked over, looking up with a bit of a blush, Jungkook might say, but he did just take a hot shower, so it was probably that. "Don't be a dummy. You know why it's important."

"I do." Jungkook smiled a little sadly and looked down more before blushing hard, his eyes locked onto Jimin's exposed thighs.

Jimin had had a much rougher breakup a couple of years ago, while they were still in high school. Jungkook was in his room, playing video games, when he got a call from Jimin.

"Jungkook? Can I spend the night?"

"Uhhh...let me ask my mom real quick." Jungkook rushed to his parents room, knocking quietly before entering their room to see them asleep. He went back to his room. "They're asleep, wanna come over anyways?"

"Yeah. Thanks Jungkook, I'll be over in a minute."

A minute? He was at least ten minutes away from him, so there was something wrong. A knock on his window made him jump.

"Hyung!" Jungkook whisper yelled, opening his window to let Jimin in. "What's going on?"

"That stupid son of a bitch broke up with me." Jimin sounded angry, and well...Jungkook couldn't blame him. "Did you approve of him?"

Jungkook felt that pain in his chest. "No, I didn't."

"Then I should've listened to you." Jimin's eyes were angry, but were starting to sadden. "Did I do something wrong? Is being invested in a relationship too much?"

"For some people it can be, but he's not worth your tears hyung. If he threw you away like that, then...then he doesn't deserve someone as amazing like you." Jungkook watched Jimin smile a little. That's all Jungkook wanted. To make him smile. "Hey, let's get you ready for bed. Let me get you a change of clothes."

Jimin nodded, and Jungkook could tell he was probably very close to crying.

"Here you go." Jungkook tossed him one of his sleep shirts. It was a white shirt that had some band on it, so he didn't care about it. "Andddd here." Jungkook tossed him some shorts. "It's the best I have."

"Thanks Jungkook. This means a lot to me."

"No problem. I'll be sure to talk you to sleep about how amazing you are."

Jimin laughed, making Jungkook smile. "Thank you Jungkook. Thank you so much."

Jungkook was brought out of that memory with Jimin's laugh.

"Jungkookie, you good there?"

Jungkook looked up at him, cheeks red. All he could think about was having Jimin sit on his lap, so they could kiss and be close. Jungkook had too many intrusive thoughts, Jimin's shorts just too short for his brain, and his shirt making Jungkook's nostalgic heart hurt.

"Yeah." Jungkook nearly squeaked, clearing his throat dramatically to cover that up. "I'm good. What uh...what do you wanna do?"

"I wanna convince you to move in." Jimin moved away from him, getting into the bed. Jungkook followed, getting on the other side.

"Why?" Jungkook was glad it was darker now. His blush was hiding better.

"Cause...? You're...my best friend?"

"Oh. But Jimin, I'd hate to hurt Changkyun hyungs feelings."

"Then next year. Before you sign up for a dorm, just...move in."

"Why, you want me in your apartment that badly?"

"Well, I was thinking maybe were drifting apart recently because we aren't spending enough time together. And besides...I've always wanted to live with you. You know I love the domestic life." Jimin inched closer, cuddling up to him before cursing under his breath. "You really didn't find a shirt that fits you?"

"Nope. Besides, I don't sleep with a shirt anyways."

"S-since when?"

"Uh...maybe since 11th grade? I dunno, it's more comfortable." Jungkook looked at Jimin. "Is it a problem?"

"No. No, not at all. Um...how...close can I cuddle?"

"As close as you'd like." Jungkook tried to slow his breathing, not wanting Jimin to feel how fast his heart was beating.

"Alright." Jimin moved closer, pressing his body against Jungkook's, hand on his chest, leg over his waist. "Tell me if it's uncomfortable."

"No no, you're good." Jungkook smiled in a daze. Jimin clinging to him was such a good feeling, his hair smelled nice too. It was soft, and a beautiful blond and wow, Jungkook wanted to touch it. "Tell me what's on your mind."

Jimin moved a bit closer, using Jungkook's chest as his pillow. "I dunno. Maybe I'm unlovable."

Jungkook laughed. "What? You're joking, right?"

"Why's that funny?"

"Cause you're so very loved by so many people. You're so lovable it's ridiculous." Took me three months hyung, it's not so hard to fall in love with you.

"I'm just not sure anymore."

"Do you need me to tell you how lovable you are?" Jungkook spoke quietly, not wanting to ruin the moment. If Jimin said yes, he was going to have to be very discreet, and not open up so much. Definitely not open up at all, actually. "Never mind, I don't know what I'm saying-"

"No, I..." Jimin's voice started to quiet. "I want to hear it. From you."

"Well...you've got an attractive soul, to start. When we first met...I was so so lucky to meet you. You were so kind and charming to me, making sure I didn't eat lunch alone. You made me have the courage to sign up for taekwondo. And you...actually stuck around. That's what I'm most grateful for." Jungkook smiled, deciding to run his hand on Jimin's back, drawing circles to ease him.

"...keep going."

"Well, not only did you stick around, but you meant it when you said you wanted to be my friend. You're so very truthful, and playful. I like that you can't lie very well, though you are sneaky. I can't count how many games you've cheated at just to win, or asked for my help to win a game."

Jimin chuckled. 

"You're thoughtful, too. Your gifts and actions are never without good thought. I've kept all your birthday cards, just so I can reread them sometimes when I'm down. And there's another thing. You're good at comforting. So so good at it. You've...seen me in a lot of bad times, picked me up from random roads, and never once have you been mean about it. You're always patient."

"Mm." Jimin's voice was becoming scratchy.

"You're perfect hyung. Every little thing you might dislike about yourself, I- I like about you. So if someone out there doesn't think you're worthy of them, then they're not worthy of you. You deserve to be worshiped, and loved, and taken care of. You deserve to be pampered, and well fed, and- and held close, and loved. So hyung...just know that you're lovable. You're so so lovable."

Jungkook felt Jimin's breath against his chest. He'd fallen asleep most definitely. Actually only maybe, Jimin liked to do this. Probably tired from his own classes, and the stupid amount of stress Jungkook was giving him.

"You're so lovable hyung." I love you Jimin.

"Thank you..." Jimin spoke quietly, and Jungkook thanked the lord above that he hadn't sputtered out what he wanted to say. "Love you..."

Jungkook's chest hurt so badly. That tone. God, that tone was a whole different kind of pain. "Love you too hyung."

Jimin would never be his.

____

Jungkook woke up first. And he was glad he did. Jimin was basically on top of him, most likely seeking his warmth, and Jungkook was definitely red in the cheeks. He played with Jimin's hair, running his hand through it kindly, untangling some tangles.

"Oh hyung..." Jungkook spoke quietly, not wanting to awaken his sleeping hyung. "Sleepy hyung. I must've been stressing you out with my own problems that you felt like you had to bottle up your own. Tell me things next time hyung..." he nearly whispered his words, reaching with his other free hand for his phone.

He not so sneakily took some pictures of Jimin and himself, almost smugly. Almost. He then went on his phone, still playing with Jimin's hair, to pass some time. It was moments like this that Jungkook truly enjoyed life. Jimin was calm, and relaxed, and he hoped comfortable. Just like he should be. Completely comfortable.

Honestly, Jungkook was surprised he initiated such physical contact. They rarely opened up Jimin's problems as well, so that felt amazing. Maybe it was a tactic to have Jungkook talk later on, but still, it must've felt good to be reassured.

He texted back some of his friends.

Jungkook
Changkyun!~ look at me :,)
Jungkook sent a picture!
He literally won't figure it out, I don't know what else to do

He didn't answer right away, and Jungkook realized that he was definitely sleeping. He stayed up too late too often, most likely with his hyung.

Jungkook
Taehyung, me and Jimin talked a bit but he still won't get it. He says I love you as a platonic thing so :/

Taehyung
Bro...I...I might have to beat some sense into him
It's so obvious

Jungkook
As much as I'd love to have him love me back, I won't ruin our friendship, if that's what he wants. So I'm still in the middle

Taehyung
But you're obviously not okay?

Jungkook
His health over mine. I'll be okay

Jungkook put his phone down after that, reaching a little to set it down on the bedside table, gaining a soft, morning moan from Jimin.

Jungkook went still, wondering if Jimin would wake up or not. In his sick head, he hoped he would sleep again, just so he could stay here for a little longer. He was being selfish. He shouldn't have so many good moments like this, moments that would only increase his want for Jimin. Moments that wouldn't let him move on.

"Jungkookie...time?" Jimin's voice was groggy.

"It's 9. Ish."

"Mk..." he moved a little more, close to Jungkook, hand running down his chest, leg rising a little higher. Jungkook felt his cheeks heat up again, Jimin's touch driving him into full service mode. "Keep playing with my hair, feels nice."

Jungkook immediately did as told, running his hands through Jimin's hair, earning a small laugh from Jimin.

"What?" Jungkook smiled too, Jimin's laugh enough to brighten his day. Maybe even tape up his heart a little.

"No hesitation."

"Why would there be?"

"It's cute, that's all." Jimin was starting to wake up. "I wish I could wake up everyday like this."

Jungkook's chest ached once again. "...it could be, hyung." He decided to take a small risk.

"Yeah...it could. I've just gotta...keep my hopes up, don't I?"

"Yeah. Yeah." Jungkook felt like crying once again. "You do."

"Jungkook...thanks for last night. I didn't realize how well you thought of me."

"I'll remind you whenever you need to hear it. I've got an endless list of good things about you." I love you.

"Thank you. I really mean it. I'm so glad you're my best friend. It's so easy to be around you and be myself."

"Me too." Jungkook spoke quietly, trying to regulate his heartbeat. Jimin's hand was rubbing up and down his side now, seeming to ease Jungkook, instead giving him butterflies.

"H-hyung, that tickles." Jungkook lied, trying think of a good excuse to make him stop.

"Mmmm. You're toned though."

Okay so maybe it wasn't to ease him. That just means Jimin is feeling him up. Jungkook felt even more butterflies at the thought. "Hyung..."

"I wish...fuck Jungkook, I wish I could find someone like you. Someone who was as kind, funny, cute, someone as willing to be around me. Who else could even do this for me? I'm not sure Jungkook...I'm not sure."

Jungkook felt the butterflies leave and be replaced by knives. He opened his mouth then closed it, letting them sit in silence.

"What do you think?"

I think I'm it hyung. I think I'm the one. I'm the one like me. "Well...there's only one me...hyung..." Jungkook felt his sadness settle in once again.

"Yeah. Guess I'll have to settle for someone less then." Jimin laughed a little, making Jungkook shut his mouth.

He checked his phone again, finally seeing a text from Changkyun.

Changkyun
Need an out? I need some help asap, my hyung spent the night and is kinda drunk so...I need help

Jungkook
I'll be over as soon as I can

Jungkook felt blessed by having Changkyun. He read him way too well. It'd taken Changkyun three days to figure out Jungkook was heartbroken, and only 10, minutes after that discovery had he figured out who it was.

"Hyung, I've gotta go. Changkyun needs me."

"Do you have to go?" Jimin whined, sitting up a little by using Jungkook's chest to push himself up.

Jungkook's cheeks were still a little red, but he nodded with confidence. "Yeah. He needs help with his hyung."

"Oh...alright..." if Jungkook wasn't mistaken, he would've said Jimin looked a tad bit sad. But they started to get up anyways, Jungkook getting back into his yesterday clothes. Jimin walked him to the door.

As he was leaving, Jungkook took a deep breath and turned around. "Hey Jimin? Never settle for less." And with that he left, making sure Jimin knew there was only one Jeon Jungkook.

____

A few more weeks had passed like this, like normal. Jungkook would have intrusive loving thoughts, hide away for a little, explain to Jimin that he wasn't ignoring him, and then hang out at his apartment to spend time together.

He seemed to be explaining more and more to Jimin that he wasn't leaving him.

So he confronted him about it, like they always do.

"Jiminie hyung...why do you keep asking me if I'm leaving you?"

The two were playing video games together, since Jungkook had nearly begged for them to do so. It was an easy time where Jungkook didn't have to look at his eyes, and where Jimin couldn't touch him. Perfect timing.

But instead, Jimin paused their game, setting his controller down. Jungkook was shocked at the reaction, not exactly ready to have a full on conversation face to face with eye contact and Jimin's infamous hand touching his thigh.

"I don't want you to leave me." He said it with such seriousness that Jungkook got a chill down his spine. His eyes were serious, and his lips pursed together.

"I'm...I'm not leaving you. I really don't know why you think I am." Jungkook looked down, unable to look at Jimin's eyes when he was serious, Jungkook felt guilty.

"You've become more and more distant...you just have, I can't explain it. It was like this when I was going to college first, and you thought I was going to forget you. I have the same feeling in my chest. And I trust my instincts Jungkook. Somethings wrong."

Jungkook couldn't get a word out.

"Why are you acting like a stranger?" Jimin continued to press him.

"I'm not. I'm not trying to, I'm just scared hyung. I'm absolutely terrified and there's nothing that can change that, so I'm sorry but that's the best answer I can give. I'm not leaving you. I couldn't even if I tried." Jungkook added the last sentence quickly and quietly.

"Even if you tried? Is that- is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"I'm not leaving you."

"Then say it loud and clear. Look at me and mean it Jungkook, I'm losing you." Jimin reached out to grab Jungkook's hand, but this time retracted it, making all of Jungkook's hairs rub the wrong way.

Jungkook set his controller away and moved closer to him on the couch, taking Jimin's hand with both of his own, putting it against his chest, right over his heart, so Jimin could feel his heartbeat. "I'm not leaving, and you're not losing me."

"Then what are you scared of? What can possible scare you except losing our friendship?" Jimin's bottom lip wavered, making Jungkook hurt inside.

"That is what I fear Jimin." Just not in the same way you're thinking of.

"I don't get it." Jimin moved closer too. "Is something happening that might make us not be friends anymore? Is- is there someone you like?"

You idiot!!! You're an idiot!!! Yes there's someone!!! "No hyung...I'm just...overwhelmed by...having to see you be sad so often after you break up with someone. What if- what if one day you come back and you no longer like yourself? I- I'm scared to have you hurt." Jungkook tried to change the direction a little, finally letting go of Jimin's hands, head dropping.

"I...you always make me feel okay. But you're right. I'm going to take a break and focus on us and school of course. I'm not going to date for a while. Whatever's going on with you is more important to me." The infamous hand on Jungkook's thigh appeared, making him have butterflies once again.

"That sounds good hyung. I'm sorry I've been so weird still. I've been meaning to get better."

"Better at hiding it or going through it?"

"A-ah." Jungkook smiled apologetically, knowing he got called out.

"It's not good to hide it."

You'll be real concerned if I didn't. "I know hyung..." but maybe I'll hide it for just a bit more.

"Jungkook...I...will you spend the night again?"

"I spent the night last week too. Are you lonely?"

"I'm just more comfortable with you here."

Jungkook smiled a little. "Why do I even pay for a dorm." He rolled his eyes, lightening the mood.

"I've been asking you to move in for months now."

"And I said next year. Besides, you don't have a guest room so-"

"My bed. You'd sleep in my bed. We do anyways." Jimin cut him off, Jungkook wondering if he was talking too fast or not.

"Yeah. Yeah, that adds up." Jungkook kept looking down, his ears starting to turn red.

"Is it hot in here?" Jimin giggled a little. "Your ears are heating up." Jimin leaned a bit closer, touching the top of Jungkook's ear and rubbing it, making Jungkook to blush a little more.

"I...I'm warm at least."

"Then go take a cold shower, I'll bring you some clothes. I uh...still don't have a shirt that fits you."

Jungkook was starting to think he never would, that maybe he wants to see him shirtless and touch his chest, but again...wishful thinking. Jimin had never made a single advancement on him, and Jungkook was convinced he never would.

"Alright, that's fine."

When they finally got to bed, the atmosphere was different. Jungkook was careful, and Jimin still hadn't gotten the answers he wanted.

They spooned this time, Jimin bullying him into being the little one, since he wanted to have his leg go over Jungkook's.

Jimin's breath puffed on Jungkook's back, making him blush yet again, and glad he couldn't see him.

"I hope I'm comfort for you..." Jimin spoke, barely loud enough for Jungkook to hear him.

"You are." One of my only comforts.

"You don't go to me for your problems anymore...I don't mean to be a stalker, but I see you with so many other people who aren't me, and whenever I go over the subject changes. I don't mean to be suspicious, but I...I am."

Jungkook felt Jimin's hand snake up his chest, pressing them closer together.

"There's something I'm missing...isn't there."

Jungkook couldn't bare to talk, Jimin's touches making him feel fluttery, while his words wanted to tear him down.

"You've got so many walls up that I'd thought you'd let me through...and I just want to make you feel okay."

"I feel great hyung." Jungkook bit his bottom lip, Jimin's hand now moving up and down Jungkook's chest. He couldn't help but feel giddy, Jimin's breath against his back still doing things to him.

"Really?"

"Yeah." Jungkook let himself imagine more, head in the clouds.

"Then I want to stay like this...cause it seems like it's one of the only times you feel okay."

"Sounds good to me." Jungkook closed his eyes, taking in every little movement and heat against his skin.

And so they stayed like that.

____

Jungkook texted Jimin that he was going out to eat that night with Changkyun and some of his hyungs. He'd gotten better at talking, spending more time with Jimin, and their interactions were better too. Especially in their study group sessions, Jungkook was getting back into the groove of being Jimin's best friend, and nothing more.

He'd have to, if he was going to keep being around Jimin.

"So...how's it going." Changkyun and Jungkook were holding their table, waiting for Changkyun's hyungs to show up. "With Jimin and all. You've been spending a lot of time together recently."

"He's still asking what I'm hiding, but...it's not like that. I'm just taking what he's willing to offer, you know?"

"Is he stopping by tonight?"

"He said he might come. Meet everyone I'm hanging out with, you know how he is." Jungkook smiled a little.

"Things are looking good for you then. Right?"

"I'm hoping. I mean, I'm still hopelessly in love, but...maybe I can ignore it, you know? Maybe I'll be able to love him as a friend instead."

"At least you're hopeful. Oh thank god, Hyunwoo hyung is here now. Ah, he brought Hyungwon hyung as well. Perfect." Changkyun smiled. "They're both big eaters, it just means more food for us."

"Sweet." Jungkook smiled a little. "He's nice, right?"

"He's a bit shy, but so are you. It'll be fine."

Changkyun and Hyunwoo mostly led the conversations the table had, and Hyungwon got bullied into paying for half the food. The two college students got a free meal, and Jungkook felt happy once again.

Changkyun and Jungkook said their goodbyes to Hyunwoo and Hyungwon, then waited for Jimin.

"He said he'd pick me up, so it's okay if you wanna head back. His somewhat nearby."

"No, I'll wait. Besides, I think you should...maybe tell him. The year is almost over...summer break is a great time for people to have time to think over things. It's a lot of time, is what I'm saying."

"You've been a great help hyung, but...I don't think I want to anymore. I think I'm better off just being friends with him." Jungkook smiled a little.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I've...I dunno, I've been hanging out with your friends, and Yugyeom's friends more and I think I just need to keep doing that. You know, broaden my horizon instead of being so focused on Jimin. I love him, yeah...but...well, I simply can't tell him that." Jungkook nodded. "And I think that's that."

"Alright. You seem like you've decided that, so I'll leave it. We've got two more days, right? Then you're heading home?"

"Yeah. I might leave tomorrow though, moms coming to pick me up. Wanna meet her?"

"I can't. I've got one final class."

"Ew. But hey...thank you Changkyun hyung. Without you, I wouldn't have been able to get through so many feelings. I really appreciate what you've done for me, it must've been a lot to handle."

"As much as I don't seem like it...I love helping. And you're a really nice guy. Thanks for always considering my feelings."

The two hugged, a nice farewell. "Well. You've heard enough about me being in love, so I'm sure you'll be glad to have that break."

Changkyun laughed, Jungkook laughing a little too.

"Jungkook?" Jimin's voice pierced the warm, spring air.

Jungkook lost his breath as he turned to Jimin, he didn't think he was going to be here so quick. "Jimin..."

"You ready to go?" He pursed his lips, and Jungkook saw his eyes waver.

"Yeah. I'll see you next school year Changkyun hyung." Jungkook waved goodbye, as they shared a concerned look.

Jungkook was fucked.

The street was fairly empty, and it was hot, and it was getting cloudy, and Jungkook wanted to die. He wanted to die so badly and as quickly as possible, maybe jump into the street of passing cars, maybe see if anyone was dropping pianos from the sky, anything but what was about to happen.

"So..." Jimin's voice broke immediately, clearing it and trying again. "So there's someone you love?"

"Hyung-"

"Jungkook, don't try and weasel your way out of another conversation!" Jimin stopped walking, raising his voice, but staring at the ground. His fists were clenched.

Jungkook wanted to die. Anything but see his hyung so angry, and at him no less.

"Hyung..." Jungkook spoke softly. "I'm sorry..."

"That's not enough Jungkook!" Jimin looked up at him, eyes watery.

Jungkook took in their surroundings, noting that there were few people out, but that it looked like it was going to rain. "Hyung...we should go somewhere else, it's going to rain."

Jimin's bottom lip trembled. "That's what you have to say? For- it's been 7 years Jungkook. Almost 8 now, and you still don't trust me!" Jimin hit Jungkook's chest with a weak punch. "I have put every ounce of trust I have in you, and you still...haven't done the same for me."

"Jimin...I trust you more than anyone in the world, but I- I'm scared."

"It's okay to have feelings for someone Jungkook. You've seen me in plenty of relationships before, but to know you talk to Changkyun, someone you've known for a year, who knows more intimate things about you than I know about hurts."

"I...I have seen you in plenty of relationships hyung, that's what hurts." Jungkook felt himself heat up, and rain start to fall. "I wish I could've chosen who I fell in love with, but I couldn't and I can't. And I tell Changkyun hyung things because he saw through me like a window, and I didn't...see a point in telling him lies." Jungkook was digging his own grave.

"So you're lying to me?!" Jimin gave another weak punch. "What happened? What did I do wrong? I...I've tried, maybe too desperately, to know you more than anyone else, but I don't, and it hurts, Jungkook, it hurts." Jimin started to cry, the hot rain dampening their hair.

"Jimin hyung...I haven't been lying to you, I just haven't told you everything. I never meant to hurt you, I'm so sorry." Jungkook wanted to hold him, but he knew he couldn't. It wasn't in his deck of cards to play.

"Then tell me Jungkook. Please, just tell me."

"I can't hyung...I...it would hurt too much." Jungkook felt the last of the tape holding his fragile heart together peel off.

"Just tell me! What can hurt more than what I'm feeling?" Jimin lashed out at him, snapping his head up to meet Jungkook's eyes.

"I love you hyung." Jungkook let it hang in the air, his chest hurting more than ever before.

"And I love you too. What are you hiding?" Jimin wiped his eyes, before softening them, realizing how harsh he'd been.

"No...I love you hyung." Jungkook decided he wasn't getting out of this one. His grave was dug, he might as well jump in himself. "I love you. I want to kiss you, and hold you close, and make you feel special and perfect and comfortable, and I can't be that for you and I never will. If I could tell you one thing that hurts more than what you're feeling, it's what I feel for you. Because it's always been you for me, and it'll never be me for you." Jungkook's voice wavered now.

"Oh Jungkook..." Jimin looked shameful, but reached his hand out to touch Jungkook's arm.

Jungkook batted him away. "Don't. I- I was fine. For years Jimin. I was fine, and content with what we have, because you just want to be friends and that's okay! I want that too, I want to be content with being your friend but I don't think I can anymore. I'm sorry." Jungkook watched Jimin cover his mouth and cry.

"You don't have to apologize..."

"I can't be your friend anymore Jimin. It hurts too much...I'm sorry...I never meant to say anything at all. I'm so sorry." Jungkook took a step back, not sure where he should go. But it wasn't towards Jimin or his house.

"Jungkook please, don't...don't leave me...we can work through it."

"I can't Jimin. Me. I...was fully ready to try, but...but I don't think I can anymore." Jungkook backed up more. "I...I'm sorry." He turned to walk away, but Jimin's quick steps stopped him, a hand around Jungkook's arm.

"Please don't go!" Jimin shouted at the ground, unable to meet Jungkook's eyes. A small sniff made Jungkook turn to him again.

"I can't stay...it hurts enough as it is..." Jungkook spoke softly.

The rain started to hit a little harder. "Please...I can't lose you. You're...you're my everything." Jimin looked up at him.

Jungkook shook his head. "I'm not. You date other people, and I'm not interested in anyone else."

"Don't say goodbye." Jimin let his tears run. "Please, don't say goodbye."

"Jimin hyung...is it possible for you to ever love me the way I love you?" Jungkook spoke sadly, slowly removing Jimin's grasp on his arm.

"I..."

"How can we act normal anymore? Do you see what I mean by I was scared? I was more afraid to lose you as my friend then I was anything else, but...now I don't have anything left to say." Jungkook sighed. "Maybe just...I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. There's nothing wrong."

"Yes there is." Jungkook countered, narrowing his eyes. "I won't be loved by you. And now things are awkward, and I have to go so you can be in a nice relationship with someone I won't know. So we can both just, move on and forget it all ever happened."

"How am I ever supposed to forget you? That's impossible! I...I don't want to be forgotten."

"Oh, I'll never forget you. I think I'll never love someone like I love you. But that's okay. You'll move on from this, and you'll find someone you love, and you'll be okay and be happy without me." Jungkook smiled. "Maybe I'll get over you. If that day ever comes...I'll be sure to find you." Jungkook nodded.

"But what if you don't?"

"Then...this is it." Jungkook tried not to cry. He'd been feeling better getting it all off his chest but reality was crashing in.

"No..." Jimin shook his head. "Please, no. I can't say goodbye to you."

"Maybe it won't be goodbye. But...at least a break. Some time off. I can't stay with you Jimin. I'm going home...tomorrow probably."

"But- next year?"

"Hoseok and Namjoon hyung graduated so...I'm ready to go home for the summer. You'll be a senior next year too, so I'm sure we won't see each other much. But you and Taehyung have got this. I'm sure he'll be a good support system." Jungkook gave one last smile. "I've gotta go. So please, let me go. You should head home and get warm. Don't catch a cold hyung."

"Jungkook..."

"I love you hyung. I'll see you when I see you." He turned and left, the rain now hitting even harder, yet it was warm. Jungkook felt weird. He'd done it, and it hurt, but it didn't hurt as badly as he thought it would. Maybe he'd already passed the breaking point of pain.

His walk back to his dorm was long, and hard. By the time he'd gotten to the actual dorm room, he was crying, soaking wet, and shivering.

Changkyun comforted him for the last time before break.

____

Jungkook threw his bags into the back of his moms car, before getting into the passenger seat.

"How are you?"

"I'm fine."

"Dorm mate?"

"He's busy, one last class, sadly. He would've loved to make it."

"And Jimin?..."

"No. He won't be able to say hello this time."

"No? Something happened?"

"Nothing mom. Nothing happened."

"Oh my sweet boy..."

"Is Jihyo still around?"

"She's around, yeah."

"Good. I think I'd like to pay her a visit before we go all the way home?"

"Sure thing darling."

____

Jimin
Jungkook, I need to ask you a something.
College has been busy, but I've been really hitting it off with this new guy. Can you please take notes for me tomorrow?? I'll repay you with food and updates!

Jungkook
Of course hyung. Have a nice date :)

Jimin
A quick response! That's rare >:)
Thanks, you're a blessing :D

Jimin smiled at the texts. Jungkook was always so kind to him in that way. Maybe the notes wouldn't be perfect, but it would be enough for Jimin.

He slept well that night.

_____

The next day, he got ready for his date, dressing up fairly nice, doing a little bit of makeup, and heading out.

Meeting up with him was nice. He was tall, pretty muscular, and something else that had called to Jimin, but he didn't know what it was. Their food was nice, their talk was nice, and Jimin didn't make a fool of himself for once. He noticed he didn't laugh as much though, mostly just talking.

Which, for a first date was nice. Learning about them before dating is a much better idea than what he's done before.

After it was done, Jimin texted Jungkook.

Jimin
Jungkoooook!!!!
It went so well!!
He actually is interested in what I have to say
I think you'll actually approve of this one, he's way better than the others
And he knows how to cook, so maybe he can teach me a thing or two
Kook
He said he's got a bit of friends if you're looking for someone too
Sorry I talked about you to him, but I couldn't help it
You alive? Class go alright?

He texted him with intervals, heading to their study group. He wondered if Jungkook would approve of him, since he hadn't liked any of his other dates before. But maybe this new guy would be better, they were kind of alike. He didn't quite have Jungkook's smiling eyes, or the exact lisp that Jimin adored so much, but...well, that's just Jungkook for you.

He finally got a reply.

Jungkook
He sounds like a real nice guy hyung
It went fine. Much quicker without you

Jimin
Oh good! It's quite boring anyways.
Wanna meet up for a snack?

Jungkook
Can't. I've gotta study

Mm. That was somewhat what he was expecting. But he was coming to their study session right? He didn't make it sound like that.

____

"Hey guys. Jungkook said he was going to study, but he still hasn't answered back." Jimin sat with their friends that night for their study group. "It's been quite some hours, has he texted any of you?"

"No, he's not answering. You know he rarely does." Taehyung shook his head.

"He's been pretty busy lately, I wouldn't be surprised if he fell asleep." Hoseok shrugged, though shared a look with Taehyung.

"He told me he was going to be busy for a while, so I wouldn't worry too much." Namjoon kept writing notes down, not looking up from his work.

"Mmm...I'm a little worried. Maybe I should check on him after this."

"Maybe he's out with Yugyeom?"

"He usually texts me whenever he goes out without me." Jimin pouted. "I dunno. He just seems a little off lately."

"How was the date?"

"It was really good." Jimin sighed. He didn't know what that had to do with Jungkook.

"Jimin." Hoseok and Taehyung spoke in unison, shaking their heads. "You've dipped out on your one class with him for almost a month now. I can't imagine how bored he is. And with his other classes, he's probably missing you is all." Taehyung shrugged as he finished their statement.

"Then why wouldn't he come out with us now?"

Hoseok sighed. "Just go visit him, alright? Now let's get some work done like Namjoon hyung."

"Alright alright."

The four of them studied hard, actually helping the others and keeping focus. Jimin did miss Jungkook's shoulder against his own though, his side eye glances, the scribbles he'd write on Jimin's papers to make him smile. He missed his doe eyes going wide at the need of help, his small hyung, what's this mean and his quiet whispers of help.

"Oh god, it's gotten late. Don't forget to eat and drink water. No more studying for today, alright? Let's continue tomorrow, you all did so well." Namjoon smiled wide as he closed his book and notes.

"I'm going to go stop by Jungkook's. See if he needs food or a hug or something. Anyone want to come with?" Jimin stood and packed his bag, the four walking outside.

"No, go ahead. We've got our own places to be."

"Alright, then I'll see y'all tomorrow." Jimin waved and started the walk towards Jungkook's dorm. He checked his phone to see no new messages. "Mmm." He ran a hand through his hair.

When he got there, it was dark. The knock on the door felt so dull. Why did his chest pound? It's not like this was the first time something like this had happened. They'd fought over stupid things, even miscommunicated a bit here and there, but they patched things up.

The door opened, and Jimin's face fell when he saw Jungkook's dorm mate. "Oh, hey Jimin hyung. Lookin for Jungkook?"

"Yeah, is he? Is he here?" Jimin pursed his lips.

"No, he went out with Yugyeom and BamBam."

"God, such a silly nickname." Jimin shook his head, hiding his sadness. "Well, can you tell him to text or call me back?"

"Sure thing, sorry about that."

"Don't worry about it." Jimin shook his head. "Then I'll be going."

"Get back safely." Jimin bowed and left after that.

Why hadn't Jungkook texted him? He absolutely always does. Jimin wouldn't say he was protective of him...but he just wanted to know where to look if he needed someone to be there for him, or if he got hurt somehow.

Jimin shook his head. What an odd thing. Jungkook wasn't usually so weird. Maybe here and then, but...well...actually, the last time Jungkook had acted so weird was when he was with his last boyfriend. He'd become a bit different, a bit more distanced too. "Hmm."

"Hey Jimin. Jungkook's an asshole who just woke up, he forgot to text you." Changkyun's voice made Jimin realize he hadn't walked very far.

"What? He isn't out with Yugyeom?"

"No, he's in bed. He told me to tell anyone who asked for him to say that. He took a huge nap."

"I see...then I'm going to go beat his ass, thank you Changkyun." Jimin let out a controlled breath. Jungkook had been acting weird, and this was even weirder.

Jungkook hadn't done this before.

Jimin nearly stormed his way back to Jungkook's dorm. 

He knocked on the door, crossing his arms.

Jungkook carefully opened it, hanging his head.

"Jeon Jungkook." Jimin tapped his food on the ground. Jungkook didn't raise his head. "Changkyun told me you weren't here when I knocked. Why didn't you let me in?"

"I looked terrible? And you would've come in and laid on me- I- I don't know." Jungkook opened the door more for Jimin to come inside, and he did. After closing the door, Jungkook still didn't raise his head.

"Those are lame excuses." Jimin set his bag down.

"I'm sorry. I don't have an excuse."

"What's going on Kookie?" Jimin stood in front of Jungkook, hand resting on his arm. "You didn't come to our study session today, and you didn't even want to go out with me for some food. Are you getting sick?"

"Yeah, I think I am." Jungkook shook his head, still not looking at him.

"Then why couldn't you just tell me that? What's going on in that head of yours?" Jimin spoke softly, all his initial anger going away. He just wanted Jungkook to feel okay, maybe even give him a good reason why this was all happening. After all...Jimin knew Jungkook best...right? He gave a soft knock on Jungkook's chest. "Let me in Jungkook."

"Jimin..." Jungkook spoke weakly.

"Tell me Jungkook. What's going on?" Jimin pushed.

"I can't...I can't tell you. You'll get worried and before you know it you'll be feverish as well." Jungkook shook his head, finally looking up at Jimin.

"You slept in those? You should take them off." Jimin reached up to take off the eye patches, but Jungkook put his hand over Jimin's to stop him.

"I put them on right after I woke up."

Jimin's eyes pierced through him. "...let me in Jungkook."

"You are in hyung." Jungkook reassured him, but Jimin's eyes wavered.

"It doesn't feel like I am anymore. What happened Jungkook?" Jimin expressed some of his concerns. Jungkook was acting weird.

Jungkook lowered his gaze. "I'm just having a hard time, I'm sorry I'm pushing you away. But I don't want you to think it's only you, it's kinda everyone." Jungkook sighed. "And I know that doesn't make it better, but that's what it is."

"Kook...I don't want you to push me away because of some stress."

"I just want to figure it all out."

"Please...don't ignore me." Jimin felt his chest hurt a little at the idea.

"I promise I won't."

"Then answer my texts damn it. Tell me what's going on. There has to be something more." Jimin pried.

"There's nothing more."

"Kookie..." Jimin took off the eye patches. "What's wrong? Let me help you. Please. You know I'll always help you, no matter what."

"Hyung..."

"Come on, let's at least wind down." Jimin dragged him to Jungkook's bed, the two laying down. Jimin cuddled up to him. "Tell me what's going on in that head of yours. Have you eaten?"

"I haven't. I'll eat before practice tomorrow."

"That's not very good..." Jimin frowned. Jungkook should've eaten.

"I can't eat this late."

"Mmm..." Jimin shook his head and held on tight to Jungkook. "You're avoiding it." Is he avoiding me?

"I know. But...I'm not willing to talk about it yet. Tell me about your date hyung. You seemed awfully excited about it."

"It went nicely. He was really kind...but I'm not sure about him. He was really confident, so I'm not sure if he's actually interested in me for me."

"I think people are usually awkward and fumble a lot when they're interested."

"Not everyone's like you Kookie." Jimin sighed with a smile. "Sometime I wish they were."

"They were?..."

"Like you. You know, kind, honest, and humble. But that's never apparent on the first date."

"Are you going on another date with him?"

Jimin thought about it. He was kind, not exactly the best, but maybe worth a shot. "I am."

"When?"

Jimin gave a huge sign. "Next time our class is. It's the only time he's free."

"Oh. That's alright. I hope it's as nice as this one was."

Jimin felt Jungkook's chest tighten, and felt him hold his breath. "Are you okay?" Jimin sat up a little, looking at Jungkook.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Jungkook. Somethings not alright with you and I won't know what it is if you don't say it." Jimin was concerned, but Jungkook kept his eyes closed.

"I'm alright hyung."

"I don't want to push it, but obviously you're not. Do you just want a silent hug? Do you need reassurance? Tell me how I can help. You've gotta let me in." Jimin spoke softly, trying to be as inviting as possible.

"I..." Jungkook opened his eyes and stopped talking.

"Jungkook...just tell me what's wrong." Jimin caressed Jungkook's cheek, and Jungkook bursted into tears.

The absolute pain in his voice made Jimin want to cry as well.

"Oh Jungkook, come here. Let it out, come on." Jimin got Jungkook to sit up before hugging him, rocking them a little from side to side. "You don't have to say a thing, just let it out."

And so he did. They eventually laid down again, Jungkook sniffing here and there, but they didn't speak. Jimin whispered sweet things into his ear sometimes, hoping they would ease Jungkook's mind and heart.

"Do you want me to head home?"

"You can stay." Jungkook spoke quickly, then winced.

"Alright." Jimin smiled, glad he could stay to comfort him more.

"If you get with him, he'll be okay with this right?"

"Of course! He has to be. You're my best friend, this is what we do."

"So if he doesn't like it?"

"Then screw him." Jimin laughed a little. "You come before a guy I'll date. All of you do."

"That makes sense. We wouldn't want to break up what we have now."

The two stayed silent for a little bit.

"One day. One day I'm going to break through with you. I've known you for years and years...yet there's still some pieces of you I don't know." Jimin burrowed his face into Jungkook's chest. "You gotta let me in."

"You are in hyung."

"I'm obviously missing something. I'm not stupid." Jimin tried to get a good read of Jungkook's reaction, but he couldn't.

"It's something for another time."

"But you'll tell me?"

"When the time comes."

"Alright. Then I'll wait till then."

_____

Jimin got a text that morning from the guy he was seeing, groaning. "Ah, Jungkook, you awake?"

"Barely." He mumbled, Jimin smiling a little.

"I can make our next class together."

"Why?"

"He said he can make today instead."

"Oh."

"So I won't have to steal notes again."

"Good. That class is kinda boring..."

They quietly got ready for their days.

"I'll...see you later, right? You're coming to the group study?"

"Yeah, I am. I'll be late though." Jungkook tied his shoes. "My class always lasts longer than I think it will, every single time."

"Oh that's alright. There's no harm in coming late. Besides, you probably need some help on things, me and Namjoon hyung are more than willing to help out."

"Yeah, I know. You two are too kind. Really, you should just let me fail."

"Ah- friends don't let other friends fail. Especially not easy classes." Jimin huffed with a little bit of superiority. "You'll get the hang of it all." Jimin got the door and opened it for the both of them. "Have a good time in class."

They split way, Jimin heading to one of his smaller class discussions, before going to their study session.

Jimin sat down, just him and Namjoon for the time being. "Hey hyung...has Jungkook been acting weird around you guys too, or is it just me?"

Namjoon gulped audibly, Jimin raising an eyebrow. "He's been a little off. But nothing too weird. I think we've got a lot more work to get through with him, maybe he's stressed about that."

"I dunno...he cried last night, and I don't really know why. And he won't tell me anything. Do you know?" Jimin rested his cheek on his hand. "I can't think of how to help him except be kind."

"Then just do that. I don't know anything either. He cried?"

"Yeah." Jimin sighed. "I wish I could help him. I just never seem to reach him enough."

"I dunno. I'm sure there's more to be done." Namjoon sighed. "Look...just give him enough space, he'll tell you when he's ready to talk about whatever it is. Otherwise it'll be pushing too far."

Jimin sighed even bigger. "You're right, of course hyung." He got his books out, but didn't start working yet. Instead, he looked at his phone, hoping for a text from Jungkook. Nothing. Well, he was in class, but still.

Why was he feeling like this? Jungkook would get back to him when he could, he wasn't his boyfriend. God, no, he wasn't. Jimin felt offended by his intrusive thoughts.

Hoseok and Taehyung came together, both laughing and giggling.

When they sat down at their table, Hoseok smiled wide. "Guess what guys?"

"What?"

"We just saw the funniest shit-"

"Ah- now that you're here, we can start studying now." Namjoon cut them off, gaining a groan from the rest of them. "Now, come on. You three will talk forever if I don't stop you now."

"Fine hyung." Taehyung whined. "Anything happen yesterday?" Taehyung spoke to Jimin, gaining a glare from Namjoon.

"I almost beat Jungkook's ass but he cried instead...so on that note." Jimin started to open his books.

"He cried?"

"Yeah. First he lied and said he wasn't in his dorm, then Changkyun said he was so when I went back we talked for a minute and I stayed the night to comfort him."

"Oh...gosh...is he feeling any better now?" Hoseok winced slightly. Taehyung might've hit him under the table.

"Not that I know of." Jimin sighed.

"He said your second date was moved to today?"

"Yeah. After our study session."

"Which should be an actual study session, after all...we are a study group."

"You're a straight A deans list student, don't worry your precious head." Hoseok gave him a smile.

"You are so lucky I like you."

"Obliterate me with your fancy words, then maybe I'll feel an ounce of pain for not knowing any of them." Hoseok countered, making the group laugh.

"But that's really all. Do you guys think he's been acting weird?"

"No...not really weird. Maybe a tad bit more...skittish."

"Yeah...maybe." Jimin sighed.

They got to work after that.

By the time Jungkook got to their study group, there was barely anyone else in the library. "God, sorry I'm so late, class seemed to run longer than I thought it would." Jungkook set his bag down and sat next to Jimin, getting his books out.

"That's alright. I'm glad you're here." Jimin nudged him, their shoulders staying together. He was glad he looked better now.

Jungkook smiled a little, letting their knees knock together as well. "Me too."

Jimin was in his own world, doing school work like a good student, while Jungkook doodled, read a little, then distracted Jimin.

"Jungkookie, you gotta let me work." Jimin spoke with a smile, loving Jungkook's child like doodles. He often did this, and Jimin never ever erased them, like a parent keeping their kids art on the fridge. He scrunched his nose at the thought. He didn't want to be Jungkook's parent.

"You always work anyways." Jungkook scribbled on his notes, leaving a smiley face.

"Fair enough. You better be working too."

"I will." Jungkook kept drawing on Jimin's paper, adding flowers, some cursed images, and eventually some hearts.

"Cute." Jimin smiled at him, knocking their knees together again.

Jimin's loved being this close with Jungkook. It was almost like he needed it. "But are they pretty? I tried really hard with the flowers." Jungkook pointed them out, earning a laugh from the table.

"Jungkook, if you're not here to study, that what in gods name are you here to do?" Taehyung asked playfully.

Jungkook answered quickly, Jimin still not looking up from his work. "For social interaction."

"Mmhmm." Namjoon spoke for the first time, his eyes glued to his homework as well.

"What. What's that for hyung? This is the only time I see all of you guys." Jungkook huffed.

"It's the only time? You could eat out with us sometimes."

"I'm not a huge fan of Jin hyungs obvious flirting and Namjoon hyungs obliviousness, alright? It gets a little sickening after a while."

Hoseok glared at him. "And you're any better?"

Jimin smiled with confusion. "Hm?" Any better? What does that mean? Is there someone I don't know about? He slowly started to overthink.

"Nothing, never mind." Jungkook blushed.

"At least Namjoon is aware, right?" Taehyung looked up from his book, the group now distracted, Jimin raising his head. Namjoon gulped.

"We haven't...discussed anything? He flirts around, I thought- doesn't he do that with everyone?" Namjoon finally looked up. "Doesn't he?"

"Hyung..." everyone shook their head. "He's...he's told you he wants to be in a relationship with you..."

"Oh, right, that." Namjoon laughed nervously, his blush creeping up onto his face. "Yeah, I'm, well, I'm not sure if he meant it. He was kinda drunk, you know Yoongi hyung, the two drink a lot." He shook his head. "We haven't talked about it. I doubt he even remembers."

Everyone sighed. "Hyung-" Jungkook started but was cut off.

"Drop it Jungkook." Namjoon gave a glare. "Now get back to- oh fuck it. Want to go get some boba? I'll buy."

"Yes." Jungkook immediately took the offer. "Hyung?" Jungkook looked at Jimin, who gave a sad smile.

"I can't."

"Oh. Alright." Jungkook smiled, and Jimin was sure there was sadness in it. Whatever was happening...it made Jimin sad. It made him want to hang out with them instead of going on his date.

"But go on without me guys, I'll be sure to join next time." Jimin smiled to reassure.

They cleaned their space and headed off, Jimin heading a separate way.

Not to be rude...but his second date went very much like the first. They walked around a mall this time, talked, got a drink...but Jimin didn't feel like he was getting anywhere with him. Like he was a little too kind, a little too touchy, and a little too confident. Nothing at all like Jungkook. Why was he comparing his date to Jungkook anyways?

Either way, the date ended and Jimin looked forward to being with his friends again, shoulder to shoulder, knee to knee with Jungkook.

____

It was odd, for Jimin to go to their study group and have it go silent. As if he wasn't supposed to be listening, or part of the conversation. Jungkook had even looked away, like he had been for the past week now. Ever since he got a new boyfriend.

Jimin wasn't stupid.

Something was different. And Jungkook wasn't telling him something.

"What'd I miss?" Jimin set his bag down and sat next to Jungkook, immediately noticing the small gap between them. He closed the gap, nudging their shoulders. Jungkook tapped their knees, and Jimin knew everything was alright.

"Nothing much. Just Taehyung trying to gulp down every bit of sugar he brought with hm today."

"I need energy, and I need it now. I've got a hell of an audition today and I need to get it."

"Absolutely fair. You'll kill it." Jimin gave him a smile.

"I might kill someone, yeah."

They laughed before getting to work. Jimin still felt off, and he glanced at Jungkook often.

"Something on my face hyung?" Jungkook spoke without looking up, a smile inching on his face.

"No. I'm just thinking."

"About me? I'm honored."

"I think I won't be with this new boyfriend." Jimin spoke suddenly, getting all of their attentions.

"Really?!" Jungkook whisper yelled, snapping his head to Jimin, a wild smile on his face. "Why?"

"Doesn't feel right." Jimin looked at him weird. What was that reaction?

"Well...you know best." Jungkook slowly lost his smile, trying to hide it. Jimin watched him and the others watch them.

"Why doesn't it feel right?"

"Dunno. He's too...comfortable. There's no fluttering with him."

Jungkook was still smiling, and Jimin didn't understand why. "Well, at least you know now and not into the relationship."

"What's so funny Jungkook?" Jimin questioned him, seeing Jungkook blush a little.

"Nothings funny. I just...well, I knew it."

"Knew what?"

"That...he wasn't going to be it. If someone doesn't get butterflies around you, then gosh, something's wrong with them." Jungkook laughed nervously, and Jimin couldn't understand why he would be nervous. He was missing something.

"Is that what y'all were talking about before I got here?"

Taehyung sighed with relief. "Yeah. Sorry it seemed so secretive. But we didn't want to hurt your feelings."

Jimin relaxed finally. "That's alright. You guys should've told me if you had bad vibes from him, you know I'll trust you."

"Well, you've gotta test the waters first." Hoseok smiled. "Besides, it wasn't our place to say anything yet."

"Ah, alright. Did you bet on it?" Jimin nudged Jungkook's shoulder.

Jungkook laughed a little. "Knowing how you date, there was a 100 perfect chance of you not being with him."

"Hey! I just haven't found the right guy yet." Jimin shook his head. "Who knows where they are."

"You never know hyung." Jungkook spoke quietly. "Maybe they're closer than you think."

"Well, maybe. But well, not at this table." Jimin raised an eyebrow and went back to his work.

"I've gotta go." Jungkook spoke quietly, checking his phone. He was early to his alarm, so Jimin gave him an odd look. He packed his bag, and waved goodbye.

Jimin watched him go, watched him rush out. "Did I say something weird?" He spoke quietly, his eyes wide.

"...Jimin..."

"I've been more and more concerned for him, every single day. Is he okay? Is there something I don't know?" Jimin questioned aloud, feeling horrible. "I can't even comfort him."

"Jimin, it's not your fault. There must be something going on. Maybe he just got some bad news." Hoseok tried to make sense of it all.

"Hyung...I don't know what to do. I feel like he's trying to leave me...or at least...you know, get rid of me or himself. I'm missing something, aren't I?" Jimin looked at them, and their awkward silence answered him. "So you all know too, great." Jimin smiled weakly, almost angrily. "That's good to know, real nice. I love being out of the loop."

"Jimin..." Namjoon tried to start, but Jimin shook his head.

"No, there's no making this better. I'm out of the loop on something, and I'm hurt by that." He shut his mouth and went back to his work, not looking up at them, and not talking.

His alarm went off eventually, the rest of them starting to pack up as well.

Jimin left first, unable to see any of them eye to eye at the moment. He went straight to Jungkook's dorm, knowing his class was over by now and that he should be back by now.

His knock was answered by Changkyun, and...someone else.

"Oh, hey Jimin. Looking for Jungkook?"

"Is he here?"

"No. He didn't come back after his class, so I dunno where he's at. If I find out before you, I'll be sure to text you."

"Oh...thank you." Jimin smiled thinly. Where could Jungkook be? He stood in the doorway for a minute hand running through his hair, before realizing that Changkyun was still standing there with the door open.

"Changkyunie, I have no idea how to do this question, I'm sorry." The other person spoke, before looking up from his spot on the floor. "Hey, do you know math?"

"Me?" Jimin saw Changkyun open the door more, and an older male leaning back to see him.

"Yeah. I'm trying to help Kyunie with some homework."

"I'm good at math, yeah." Jimin nodded.

He waved him inside, and so Jimin did.

"Are you that boy-" he cleared his throat, Jimin hearing some wind of arms from Changkyun behind him. "Uh, Jungkook's hyung he talks about so much?" He smiled.

"I am. Did you meet Jungkookie?"

"Yeah, briefly. My names Hyunwoo. You're?..."

"Jimin. Park Jimin. It's nice to meet you." Jimin bowed a little.

"Skip the formalities for the time being, come here." He patted the space next to him, so Jimin sat.

"Anyways...I'm kind of garbage at math, so how do these work again?"

"Oh...you just need to plug it into a formula. Time, multiplied by workers, multiplied by the rate, will give you your job. So..." Jimin explained the trigonometry problem, walking them both through it.

"Shit. I'm absolutely fucked." Changkyun sighed heavily.

"Good luck." Hyunwoo laughed. "Glad I don't have to do this."

"It's not so bad. This is the easiest part of trig. Trust me. I mean it." Jimin laughed. "Anyways, hopefully that helped. I'm going to head home now, and hope that Jungkook will text me where he is." Jimin stood, brushing out the crinkles of his clothes.

"Oh...Jimin, before you go." Hyunwoo smiled. "Remember that Jungkook's an adult. You don't need to baby him. I do hope you find him though, he seemed like a bit of a troublemaker."

Jimin tried to understand the bit of advice. "Thanks. He doesn't listen to his hyungs."

He left, heading home. He was upset, and irritated, and lonely.

For the first time in a while, Jimin felt really lonely. His whole friend group was definitely keeping something to themselves, and he didn't have his usual person to talk to. On his sad walk, he saw Jungkook. He immediately texted him.

Oh that son of a bitch. He was at this restaurant? This close to his house? And didn't text him? It was like he was trying to make him upset.

He nearly stomped his way to him.

"Jungkook! Jungkook!" Jungkook turned around, Jimin red in the face.

"Jimin hyung?" Jungkook widened his eyes. Jimin saw the fear. "Hyung, let me explain-"

"What is happening Jungkook?" He finally got up to him, grabbing his collar and pulling him down so they were eye to eye. "Why are you being so- so closed off?!"

"H-hyung, were in public-" Jungkook spoke quietly, sputtering his words out.

"I don't care." Jimin lowered his voice as well. "You always tell me when you're going out with Yugyeom, and you were even minutes from my apartment. I thought you were acting weird today too, but I didn't want to say anything but this crosses the line." Jimin shook his head and let go of his collar.

"Hyung, I forgot to text you, that's it."

"Oh that's it?" Jimin reached up and grabbed Jungkook's ear, walking then in the opposite direction.

"Ow ow ow ow ow- hyung! Ow ow ow ow-" Jungkook didn't resist, instead walking with him and lowering his head so it didn't hurt as much.

"I've had enough of your excuses, you're going to talk to me." Jimin shook his head, absolutely furious. He'd had enough of this lonely shit. Jungkook was going to explain it now.

"I'll walk with you just let my ear go- ow ow, hyung, ow-"

"You've given me a lot of stress." Jimin kept dragging him along.

"If we pass my hyungs I'm going to die..." Jungkook mumbled.

"They should see."

"Hyung- ow- hyung, w-why do I need to text you everywhere I go? You're not my parent..."

Jimin tugged a little harder. His petite body was full of anger, and he made sure Jungkook felt it. "I'm not trying to be your parent! I'm- I'm trying to be...I...your safety is important to me." Jimin's tone changed a little. Why was he so upset at being called a parent? He loosened his grip for a second before gripping it harder. "This hasn't been an issue before Jungkook."

"Ow! You're right, damn it, let go hyung, please, I'm sorry- ow!" Jungkook whined. "I'm sorry hyung-"

"Don't apologize. I wanna hear it when we get home."

"It's not our home..."

"It damn well should be." Jimin finally let go of his ear as they went up the stairs and he got the keys to his apartment out of his pocket. "I don't know why you insist on staying in a dorm when you could easily stay here with me. Unless, that's a problem for you somehow? Tell me what's going on Jungkook." Jimin led them to his living room, sitting Jungkook down, then sitting right next to him. Their knees touched.

Jungkook shook his head. "I...I don't know."
"I..." Jungkook's voice died off.

"Why did you leave so early today?" Jimin placed a hand on Jungkook's thigh, leaning forward. "Did I do something wrong?" Jimin felt the pain in his chest again. Somehow...Jimin felt like this was all his fault. He held Jungkook's thigh tighter, feeling sad once again.

"Please Jungkook. I know I'm missing something and it's been a month now...I feel so left out of your life, and it's hurting me. I...I'm not graduating yet...why are you trying to get rid of me?" Jimin's doubts clouded his eyes and laced into his voice. Jungkook wanted to get rid of him...didn't he?

"Hyung no!" Jungkook put his hand over Jimin's. "I'm not trying to get rid of you. I'm just going through something rough, and I'm...not willing to talk about it. I'm sorry." Jungkook sighed and pursed his lips. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize, just...stop being so distant. When you're distant with only me, I can't help but think bad things." Jimin shook his head. "You went out with a whole group today. Changkyun told me that his hyung was there too and you guys talked. I...I don't know why I feel the need to know what you're doing, or where you're going, but I just...it feels like you're hiding something."

Jungkook let go of Jimin's hand suddenly, and blushed hard, staring at Jimin's hand.

"Like that! What is going on Jungkook? When have you been so sensitive to my touch? Am I giving you too much affection? Is that it? Or am I being too clingy? Is that what it is?" Jimin moved away and ran his hands through his hair, obviously stressed. What was going on?

"Jimin, I'm so sorry. It's not you at all. Please don't- please don't stop giving me affection, I need it." Jungkook inched closer before moving back. "God damn it." Jimin couldn't tell why was going through his head. "I should just get going, I've gotta do more homework-"

"Oh no you don't." Jimin grabbed his wrist, almost glaring. "I'm not letting you leave until we're on the same page. I'm so confused. You're not telling me something."

"I can't tell you hyung." Jungkook's voice quivered, Jimin's eyes wide with concern.

"Why? Why can't you tell me, but you can tell everyone else?"

"I...I haven't told anyone hyung. Maybe Changkyun, but he's my dorm mate, he was bound to find out."

Jimin bit his lip. "I don't get it. I thought...we're best friends Jungkook. Why can't I know this certain thing?" So Changkyun knows too? He's lying to me then. He said no one knows, but everyone know. Everyone but me.

"I just can't hyung. It's something I've gotta do myself. No one can really help me."

"Why not? I want to help you..." Jimin's eyes started to water up.

"Hyung, there isn't a way you can help me, I'm sorry."

"I don't need you to apologize. I just...am I pushing too far?" Am I losing you?

"You're not. You're not being too affectionate, or too clingy, and I'm not trying to get rid of you. I'm just having a hard time with some personal stuff."

"Why can't I know? Please, help me understand." Jimin moved closer again, setting his hand back on Jungkook's thigh carefully. Was this too much?

Jungkook blushed again. Why was he blushing? "I've...I can't hyung." Jungkook looked away, trying to hide his face. "Maybe another time, when I'm more okay."

"So you're not okay." It's my fault, isn't it?

"I'm not. But I've gotta think some things through first. I'll try and lighten up. And try and stop acting so weird."

Jimin sighed heavily. "Okay. Okay. I need to stop pushing you so far. Please, tell me if I'm making you uncomfortable with this. Just please...please don't push me away. I'm frail...at the moment." Jimin lowered his head, his hand on Jungkook's thigh tightening. I can't lose you Jungkook. You're all I have.

"W-why is that hyung?"

Jimin couldn't say that though. "Do you even think I'll find someone to be with while in college? I never seem to find anyone worth staying with."

Jungkook's took some time to reply.

"I'm sure there's someone hyung."

"I dunno anymore Jungkookie. When you don't trust them, well, then neither do I. And so far that's been everyone. Maybe I just have bad taste."

"I don't think you do...I just think...they're all looking at your body instead of who you are."

"Oh yeah? And what do you see when you look at me?" Jimin looked at Jungkook's eyes, trying to find peace in them.

Jungkook swallowed his spit. "I see more than a pretty body. So you should too." Jungkook gave a weak half smile.

"Mmm." Jimin hummed, staring at his hand on Jungkook's thigh. "I know we don't really discuss these things but...will you tell me? How you see me?" Jimin looked up at him once again. He wanted to find that peace, no matter what. Maybe he was over stepping...but he needed it. Being left out entirely...he needed some love.

Jungkook's eyes softened, placing his hand back on top of Jimin's. "Hyung...are you having problems with your self image? There's nothing to be self conscious about...you're perfect." Jungkook said it earnestly, fully meaning it with his whole heart, and Jimin could feel that in his own heart.

Perhaps...he wasn't over stepping their boundaries.

"You mean it?"

"Who made you think otherwise?" Jungkook's eyes grew serious. "Hyung, let me at them, I'll make sure they understand a few things."

Jimin laughed a little, making Jungkook smile. He couldn't really tell him that it was himself, not anyone else. "No, there's no need for that. But if there is...I'll let you have your fun. How much longer can you stay?" Jimin's question was quiet.

"As long as you need hyung." Jungkook let his tone soften. "To make it up to you. I've been weird and I don't mean to be."

"But do you want to stay?"

"I do. Anything for you."

Jimin gave him an odd look. Anything? "Will Changkyun miss you?"

"How long are you thinking of keeping me around?" Jungkook smiled a little.

"The night...if you're willing."

"Oh." Jungkook's eyes lit up before hiding his excitement. "Yeah, I can...I don't have class till later. So...yeah, I can."

"Text Changkyun then, he'll appreciate it." Jimin smiled, knowing that Jungkook was with him, and was going to give him that ever relaxing peace he needed.

"Oh god, I'm sorry you had to go to my dorm first. Why were you there?" Jungkook wiggled his phone out of his pocket, Jimin's hand staying on his thigh. He didn't answer the question.

Jungkook flushed a little. "I'm good to stay. I'm still in my clothes from dance though, so...maybe a shower- maybe a shower might be nice?"

"Of course. You know your way around." Jimin finally let go of Jungkook's thigh. "I'll give you some clothes once you're in the shower." They got up, Jungkook heading to the bathroom. "Oh and Jungkook? Thank you." Jimin meant it, he really did.

"No problem hyung. If you ever need some comfort, I'm here."

"Thanks." He smiled and Jungkook hurried off.

"Jungkook! I'm leaving clothes here now, leave me some hot water." Jimin set down the clothes, seeing Jungkook's phone light up.

Changkyun
Dude, maybe...do the thing? This is a good time to do it. You should tell him. He needs to know, and he's worried. Tell him

Jimin's chest hurt a little more. For one, he didn't mean to open it, and two...what was he talking about? Obviously this was relevant. And obviously...Jimin didn't know anything

Fuck, it hurt a lot. He left the bathroom, getting ready for his own shower.

"Hyung, this shirts too small, mind if I find a different one?" Jimin turned to Jungkook once he heard his voice, seeing his pants on him, and no shirt. Fuck, that was a new feeling.

"Oh fuck yeah sure." Jimin cursed quietly under his breath. Jungkook looked at him in confusion, making him embarrassed and look away.

"Why'd you cursed?"

"I should've know you're not going to fit into my shirts. I'll take a quick shower. Raid my kitchen if you'd like."

"Have a nice shower."

Jimin didn't. He was full of different thoughts, guilts, and new worries. A lot of things hurt in a lot of different places. Overthinking was one of his specialties. And by god...what was that feeling with he had when he saw Jungkook shirtless? It's not like it hadn't happened before, but come on, since when was he that sculpted?

He got out fairly soon, his thoughts never finding an answer. 

"Keep at it Kookie, keep at it." Jimin had faintly heard him.

"Talking to yourself?" He smiled, trying to laughter the mood.

"Yeah." Jungkook's voice was breathy, and Jimin wondered why. "You still wear that thing? It's old, at- at least let me give you a different one."

"No, this ones important." Jimin tugged on the shirt, looking down with a small smile. "It reminds me of you." That sounds flirty, what the fuck. Jimin tried to make sense of it inside his head.

"Well...it was mine."

Jimin giggled and walked over, looking up with a bit of a blush. He was feeling weird now. A different feeling. "Don't be a dummy. You know why it's important."

"I do." Jungkook smiled a little sadly and looked down more before blushing hard. Jimin wondered why he was turning red so easily nowadays. He also wondered why he spaced out so hard. He smiled slowly before laughing.

"Jungkookie, you good there?"

Jungkook looked up at him, his cheeks red. "Yeah." Jungkook nearly squeaked, clearing his throat dramatically to cover that up. "I'm good. What uh...what do you wanna do?"

"I wanna convince you to move in." Jimin moved away from him, getting into the bed. Jungkook followed, getting on the other side.

"Why?"

"Cause...? You're...my best friend?" Jimin felt bad. For some reason...it felt like an excuse.

"Oh. But Jimin, I'd hate to hurt Changkyun hyungs feelings."

"Then next year. Before you sign up for a dorm, just...move in."

"Why, you want me in your apartment that badly?"

"Well, I was thinking maybe were drifting apart recently because we aren't spending enough time together. And besides...I've always wanted to live with you. You know I love the domestic life." Jimin inched closer, cuddling up to him before cursing under his breath. "You really didn't find a shirt that fits you?" Jungkook's chest was just...too nice. Jimin blushed, hating whatever was going on inside his head.

Maybe there was something Jimin didn't understand about himself.

"Nope. Besides, I don't sleep with a shirt anyways."

"S-since when?"

"Uh...maybe since 11th grade? I dunno, it's more comfortable." Jungkook looked at Jimin. "Is it a problem?"

"No. No, not at all. Um...how...close can I cuddle?" Jimin felt stupid. Why would it be a problem? They're best friends and nothing more and they wouldn't be more. Somehow...that hurt.

"As close as you'd like."

"Alright." Jimin moved closer, pressing his body against Jungkook's, hand on his chest, leg over his waist. "Tell me if it's uncomfortable."

"No no, you're good. Tell me what's on your mind."

Jimin moved a bit closer, using Jungkook's chest as his pillow. "I dunno. Maybe I'm unlovable." Jimin wanted to change to a serious subject, so his mind wouldn't think of Jungkook.

Jungkook laughed. "What? You're joking, right?"

"Why's that funny?"

"Cause you're so very loved by so many people. You're so lovable it's ridiculous."

"I'm just not sure anymore."

"Do you need me to tell you how lovable you are?" Jungkook spoke quietly, as if this was a careful subject. "Never mind, I don't know what I'm saying-"

"No, I..." Jimin's voice started to quiet. "I want to hear it. From you." Maybe this wasn't the best idea to not think about Jungkook.

"Well...you've got an attractive soul, to start. When we first met...I was so so lucky to meet you. You were so kind and charming to me, making sure I didn't eat lunch alone. You made me have the courage to sign up for taekwondo. And you...actually stuck around. That's what I'm most grateful for." Jungkook smiled, running his hand on Jimin's back, drawing circles. Jimin felt peaceful.

"...keep going." He closed his eyes. If he could sleep to this...then wow, how could anyone ever beat that?

"Well, not only did you stick around, but you meant it when you said you wanted to be my friend. You're so very truthful, and playful. I like that you can't lie very well, though you are sneaky. I can't count how many games you've cheated at just to win, or asked for my help to win a game."

Jimin chuckled. Jungkook knew him well.

"You're thoughtful, too. Your gifts and actions are never without good thought. I've kept all your birthday cards, just so I can reread them sometimes when I'm down. And there's another thing. You're good at comforting. So so good at it. You've...seen me in a lot of bad times, picked me up from random roads, and never once have you been mean about it. You're always patient."

"Mm." Jimin was starting to get tired now. Jungkook's voice was soothing in all the right ways.

"You're perfect hyung. Every little thing you might dislike about yourself, I- I like about you. So if someone out there doesn't think you're worthy of them, then they're not worthy of you. You deserve to be worshiped, and loved, and taken care of. You deserve to be pampered, and well fed, and- and held close, and loved. So hyung...just know that you're lovable. You're so so lovable."

Jimin's took it all in. Is this really how Jungkook saw him? As this- this being to worship and care for? What exactly was...what exactly did Jungkook feel for him? This was starting to feel less and less like a friendship and more and more like a relationship. Lost in thought, Jungkook spoke again.

"You're so lovable hyung."

"Thank you..." Jimin spoke quietly. Jungkook made him feel good. "Love you..." Jimin wondered how he meant it. Did he love Jungkook? He wasn't stupid. He knew this all felt different.

"Love you too hyung."

The two fell asleep.

____

When Jimin woke up, he clung to Jungkook's body for more affection. Jungkook's hand was running through his hair, and he wished he could wake up like this every morning. He wished he understood whatever his chest was doing. Jungkook must've heard him wake up, as he stopped playing with his hair.

"Jungkookie...time?" Jimin's wished he sounded pretty.

"It's 9. Ish."

"Mk..." he moved a little more, close to Jungkook, hand running down his chest, leg rising a little higher. He just wanted to be closer to Jungkook. Anything to get closer to him. "Keep playing with my hair, feels nice."

Jungkook immediately did as told, running his hands through Jimin's hair, making him laugh.

"What?" Jungkook smiled too.

"No hesitation."

"Why would there be?"

"It's cute, that's all." Jimin was starting to wake up. "I wish I could wake up everyday like this."

"...it could be, hyung."

"Yeah...it could. I've just gotta...keep my hopes up, don't I?" Jimin wondered why he was acting so weird. Why was he able to imagine waking up with Jungkook so easily?

"Yeah. Yeah. You do."

"Jungkook...thanks for last night. I didn't realize how well you thought of me." If I push him...maybe I'll get some answers.

"I'll remind you whenever you need to hear it. I've got an endless list of good things about you."

"Thank you. I really mean it. I'm so glad you're my best friend. It's so easy to be around you and be myself." Endless?

"Me too." Jungkook spoke quietly. Jimin ran his hand up and down Jungkook's side, trying to see his reaction. He blushed a little himself. He felt strong.

"H-hyung, that tickles." 

"Mmmm. You're toned though." Jimin kept doing it, feeling embarrassed. Since when has he been like this?

"Hyung..."

"I wish...fuck Jungkook, I wish I could find someone like you. Someone who was as kind, funny, cute, someone as willing to be around me. Who else could even do this for me? I'm not sure Jungkook...I'm not sure." Jimin thought aloud. Maybe...maybe Jungkook was it.

Jungkook didn't answer.

"What do you think?"

"Well...there's only one me...hyung..."

Shit. Something was starting to make sense now. "Yeah. Guess I'll have to settle for someone less then." Jimin laughed a little. There's no way Jungkook would want him. 

Jungkook checked his phone.

"Hyung, I've gotta go. Changkyun needs me."

"Do you have to go?" Jimin whined, sitting up a little by using Jungkook's chest to push himself up.

Jungkook's cheeks were still a little red, but he nodded with confidence. "Yeah. He needs help with his hyung."

"Oh...alright..." Jimin felt sad. Whatever was happening between them...Jimin liked it. But they started to get up, Jungkook getting back into his yesterday clothes. Jimin walked him to the door.

As he was leaving, Jungkook took a deep breath and turned around. "Hey Jimin? Never settle for less." And with that he left, making sure Jimin knew there was only one Jeon Jungkook.

Jimin closed the door and sat with his feelings.

"Oh god." He covered his mouth. If...if he had feelings for his best friend...god, no, there was something wrong with that. That...but...Jimin compared every date he went on with Jungkook. On dates even, he would talk about Jungkook.

He loved his affection, his voice, his eyes, his kindness, and competitiveness. He could've gone on and on about the things he loved about Jungkook, but instead...he let it drop.

He called Namjoon immediately.

"Hello? I've got...15 minutes before I've gotta leave for my class."

"I think I'm in love with Jungkook." Jimin heard the silence for a while.

"I...what are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know. He's...I'm not sure if he's looking to date. Or if he's even interested in me. He's never dated before, so..." Jimin felt bad now. "I should just forget it, shouldn't I."

"No no! Don't forget it. You should...talk to him about it."

Jimin laughed. "Yeah, alright. That's such an easy talk, sure." Jimin sighed. "Anyways, I'm going to let you go, so you can be early as hell to your class."

"Don't let it go Jimin. I'll see you later."

He hung up, and Jimin still felt more alone with himself than he ever had before.

____

Jungkook had been more and more distant recently. Maybe it was just in his head, but the energy was different, and Jimin was having more and more doubt. He constantly asked Jungkook if he was busy or trying to avoid him, and every time Jungkook would reassure him that nothing was going on, and that he was staying.

But more and more often...it felt like there was someone Jimin didn't know about. There must've been a separate love interest he'd never met, and that Jungkook didn't want him to meet.

That hurt all in it's own.

One night when the two were at Jimin's apartment, Jungkook spoke out of the blue.

"Jiminie hyung...why do you keep asking me if I'm leaving you?"

The two were playing video games together, since Jungkook had nearly begged for them to do so. Jimin felt his chest hurt. Is there someone else? Am I losing you?

Jimin paused their game, setting his controller down. This was something too big to simply keep playing their game.

"I don't want you to leave me." He said it seriously, not wanting to sugar coat it. His eyes were serious, and his lips pursed together. He didn't want to play this easily.

"I'm...I'm not leaving you. I really don't know why you think I am." Jungkook looked down, unable to look at Jimin's eyes. Jungkook hurt inside. Jungkook was lying, wasn't he...

"You've become more and more distant...you just have, I can't explain it. It was like this when I was going to college first, and you thought I was going to forget you. I have the same feeling in my chest. And I trust my instincts Jungkook. Somethings wrong."

Jungkook couldn't get a word out.

"Why are you acting like a stranger?" Jimin continued to press him. Maybe he could get an answer. He desperately needed an answer.

"I'm not. I'm not trying to, I'm just scared hyung. I'm absolutely terrified and there's nothing that can change that, so I'm sorry but that's the best answer I can give. I'm not leaving you. I couldn't even if I tried." Jungkook added the last sentence quickly and quietly.

"Even if you tried? Is that- is that supposed to make me feel better?" Is there someone else?

"I'm not leaving you."

"Then say it loud and clear. Look at me and mean it Jungkook, I'm losing you." Jimin reached out to grab Jungkook's hand, but retracted it, not wanting to over step.

Jungkook set his controller away and moved closer to him on the couch, taking Jimin's hand with both of his own, putting it against his chest, right over his heart, so Jimin could feel his heartbeat. "I'm not leaving, and you're not losing me."

"Then what are you scared of? What can possible scare you except losing our friendship?" Jimin's bottom lip wavered. He seemed to be telling the truth...but he still didn't believe him.

"That is what I fear Jimin."

"I don't get it." Jimin moved closer too. "Is something happening that might make us not be friends anymore? Is- is there someone you like?" Jimin decided to ask, absolutely hurt. His chest ached.

"No hyung...I'm just...overwhelmed by...having to see you be sad so often after you break up with someone. What if- what if one day you come back and you no longer like yourself? I- I'm scared to have you hurt." Jungkook let go of Jimin's hands, head dropping.

"I...you always make me feel okay. But you're right. I'm going to take a break and focus on us and school of course. I'm not going to date for a while. Whatever's going on with you is more important to me." Jimin put a reassuring hand on Jungkook's thigh.

"That sounds good hyung. I'm sorry I've been so weird still. I've been meaning to get better."

"Better at hiding it or going through it?"

"A-ah." Jungkook smiled apologetically, knowing he got called out.

"It's not good to hide it." Just please tell me.

"I know hyung..."

"Jungkook...I...will you spend the night again?" I'm getting too desperate.

"I spent the night last week too. Are you lonely?" Fuck, he's seeing right through me.

"I'm just more comfortable with you here."

Jungkook smiled a little. "Why do I even pay for a dorm." He rolled his eyes, lightening the mood.

"I've been asking you to move in for months now." Maybe...maybe that would ease Jimin's mind.

"And I said next year. Besides, you don't have a guest room so-"

"My bed. You'd sleep in my bed. We do anyways." Jimin cut him off, desperation sinking on. Jungkook should stay with him.

"Yeah. Yeah, that adds up." Jungkook kept looking down, his ears starting to turn red.

"Is it hot in here?" Jimin giggled a little. "Your ears are heating up." He leaned a bit closer, touching the top of Jungkook's ear and rubbed it, happy by Jungkook's reaction.

"I...I'm warm at least."

"Then go take a cold shower, I'll bring you some clothes. I uh...still don't have a shirt that fits you." Jimin hoped he didn't sound stupid. He just...really wanted to see Jungkook shirtless again.

"Alright, that's fine."

When they finally got to bed, the atmosphere was different. Jungkook was careful, and Jimin still hadn't gotten the answers he wanted.

They spooned this time, Jimin bullying him into being the little one, since he wanted to have his leg go over Jungkook's. At least, that was the excuse he gave.

Jimin's breath was irregular, feeling nervous for some reason.

"I hope I'm comfort for you..." Jimin spoke, barely loud enough for Jungkook to hear him.

"You are."

"You don't go to me for your problems anymore...I don't mean to be a stalker, but I see you with so many other people who aren't me, and whenever I go over the subject changes. I don't mean to be suspicious, but I...I am."

Jimin snaked his hand up his chest, pressing them closer together. He wanted to feel Jungkook closer.

"There's something I'm missing...isn't there." Jimin felt his doubts come out as words. It hurt.

Jungkook didn't respond.

"You've got so many walls up that I'd thought you'd let me through...and I just want to make you feel okay." I want you to trust me.

"I feel great hyung." Jimin let his hand move up and down Jungkook's chest. He wanted to make him feel at ease.

"Really?"

"Yeah." Jungkook sounded happy, at least.

"Then I want to stay like this...cause it seems like it's one of the only times you feel okay."

"Sounds good to me." Jungkook ended the conversation, which...was fine with Jimin. He like being this close to him.

And so they stayed like that.

_____

Jimin got a text from Jungkook, telling him he's going to be out with Changkyun's friends as a little farewell, and that he was invited to join if he had time.

He knew he wouldn't, but he said he might.

Jimin exhaled. He had to tell Jungkook today. Tonight. Summer was a great time to think things over, and especially something so big. Ruining a friendship for a chance at a relationship...was a big thing. But hey...they'd been friends for 7, almost 8 years now. It seems like that was enough for them to be able to move on if his feelings were discarded.

Besides, if Jungkook didn't accept him, then that's alright. He'd just have to settle for less.

There's only one Jeon Jungkook.

Jungkook had been right. There is only one him, and Jimin was okay with not having him. If that's what he wanted. He let Jungkook have the meal with his new friends, before texting him.

Jimin
I'll pick you up, alright? We can hang out at my apartment before you leave for home.

They'd both gotten good final text scores, straight A's for Jimin, and some B's for Jungkook, which was good for him.

He started to make his way to the restaurant, ready to do what he was going to do. He hoped Jungkook wouldn't get upset.

When he finally saw them, it was just Changkyun and Jungkook. Jimin smiled at the two hugging, finally getting to hearing distance.

"Well. You've heard enough about me being in love, so I'm sure you'll be glad to have that break."

Jimin's heart shattered. Oh.

Changkyun laughed, Jungkook laughing a little too.

"Jungkook?" Jimin's voice pierced the warm, spring air. His heart and chest hurt so badly, beyond compare. He hoped his voice was loud enough.

"Jimin..." he looked apologetic, and a little scared.

"You ready to go?" He pursed his lips, not wanting to do this in front of Changkyun.

"Yeah. I'll see you next school year Changkyun hyung." Jungkook waved goodbye.

The street was fairly empty, and it looked pretty cloudy, even though it was still warm.

"So..." Jimin's voice broke immediately, clearing it and trying again. "So there's someone you love?" It hurt. It hurt so much. Why didn't Jungkook tell him before? Who was this mystery person? Is that why Jungkook's been distant? He's been seeing someone else? Not even bothering to tell Jimin?

"Hyung-"

"Jungkook, don't try and weasel your way out of another conversation!" Jimin stopped walking, raising his voice, but staring at the ground. His fists were clenched. He felt so angry. He failed. Somehow, he'd failed as a friend.

"Hyung..." Jungkook spoke softly. "I'm sorry..."

"That's not enough Jungkook!" Jimin looked up at him, eyes watering. A simple sorry wasn't going to fix what Jimin was feeling. It hurt.

Jungkook looked around. "Hyung...we should go somewhere else, it's going to rain."

Jimin's bottom lip trembled. "That's what you have to say? For- it's been 7 years Jungkook. Almost 8 now, and you still don't trust me!" Jimin hit Jungkook's chest with a weak punch. I love you. How can I be with you if you don't trust me? "I have put every ounce of trust I have in you, and you still...haven't done the same for me."

"Jimin...I trust you more than anyone in the world, but I- I'm scared."

"It's okay to have feelings for someone Jungkook. You've seen me in plenty of relationships before, but to know you talk to Changkyun, someone you've known for a year, who knows more intimate things about you than I know about hurts."

"I...I have seen you in plenty of relationships hyung, that's what hurts." Jungkook's voice changed. "I wish I could've chosen who I fell in love with, but I couldn't and I can't. And I tell Changkyun hyung things because he saw through me like a window, and I didn't...see a point in telling him lies." Jungkook was digging his own grave. Jimin shook his head.

"So you're lying to me?!" Jimin gave another weak punch. "What happened? What did I do wrong? I...I've tried, maybe too desperately, to know you more than anyone else, but I don't, and it hurts, Jungkook, it hurts." Jimin started to cry, the hot rain dampening their hair.

"Jimin hyung...I haven't been lying to you, I just haven't told you everything. I never meant to hurt you, I'm so sorry." Jungkook was still hiding something.

"Then tell me Jungkook. Please, just tell me." Jimin begged. He'd rather know and move on then be angry.

"I can't hyung...I...it would hurt too much."

"Just tell me! What can hurt more than what I'm feeling?" Jimin lashed out at him, snapping his head up to meet Jungkook's eyes.

"I love you hyung." Jungkook let it hang in the air, Jimin confused. There was no way he meant the same thing Jimin wanted to hear.

"And I love you too. What are you hiding?" Jimin wiped his eyes, before softening them, realizing how harsh he'd been. He'd said it. He'd said it!

"No...I love you hyung." Jungkook's voice was serious. "I love you. I want to kiss you, and hold you close, and make you feel special and perfect and comfortable, and I can't be that for you and I never will. If I could tell you one thing that hurts more than what you're feeling, it's what I feel for you. Because it's always been you for me, and it'll never be me for you." Jungkook's voice wavered now.

"Oh Jungkook..." Jimin felt shameful, and reached his hand out to touch Jungkook's arm, ready to tell him the same thing-

Jungkook batted him away. "Don't. I- I was fine. For years Jimin. I was fine, and content with what we had, because you just want to be friends and that's okay! I want that too, I want to be content with being your friend but I don't think I can anymore. I'm sorry." Jungkook watched Jimin cover his mouth and cry.

"You don't have to apologize..." Jimin tried again, to speak, to say anything, but he couldn't.

"I can't be your friend anymore Jimin. It hurts too much...I'm sorry...I never meant to say anything at all. I'm so sorry." Jungkook took a step back, hurting Jimin more.

"Jungkook please, don't...don't leave me...we can work through it." Jimin kept saying the wrong things.

"I can't Jimin. Me. I...was fully ready to try, but...but I don't think I can anymore." Jungkook backed up more. "I...I'm sorry." He turned to walk away, but Jimin took quick steps to stop him, putting his hand around Jungkook's arm. He didn't want to let go yet.

"Please don't go!" Jimin shouted at the ground, unable to meet Jungkook's eyes. He sniffed, his chest hurting, while his mouth was unable to do Jungkook justice.

"I can't stay...it hurts enough as it is..." Jungkook spoke softly.

The rain started to hit a little harder. "Please...I can't lose you. You're...you're my everything." Jimin looked up at him. That was closer to what he wanted to say.

Jungkook shook his head. "I'm not. You date other people, and I'm not interested in anyone else."

"Don't say goodbye." Jimin let his tears run. "Please, don't say goodbye." He tried to say more, anything, just something more.

"Jimin hyung...is it possible for you to ever love me the way I love you?" Jungkook spoke sadly, slowly removing Jimin's grasp on his arm.

"I..." Yes! It is! I do, why can't I say it, I love you Jungkook, I do! Please don't go...please.

"How can we act normal anymore? Do you see what I mean by I was scared? I was more afraid to lose you as my friend then I was anything else, but...now I don't have anything left to say." Jungkook sighed. "Maybe just...I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. There's nothing wrong." I love you too.

"Yes there is." Jungkook countered, narrowing his eyes. "I won't be loved by you. And now things are awkward, and I have to go so you can be in a nice relationship with someone I won't know. So we can both just, move on and forget it all ever happened."

"How am I ever supposed to forget you? That's impossible! I...I don't want to be forgotten." Jimin felt fear.

"Oh, I'll never forget you. I think I'll never love someone like I love you. But that's okay. You'll move on from this, and you'll find someone you love, and you'll be okay and be happy without me." Jungkook smiled. "Maybe I'll get over you. If that day ever comes...I'll be sure to find you." Jungkook nodded.

"But what if you don't?" I love you.

"Then...this is it." Jungkook's eyes watered.

"No..." Jimin shook his head. "Please, no. I can't say goodbye to you." I love you.

"Maybe it won't be goodbye. But...at least a break. Some time off. I can't stay with you Jimin. I'm going home...tomorrow probably."

"But- next year?" I love you.

"Hoseok and Namjoon hyung graduated so...I'm ready to go home for the summer. You'll be a senior next year too, so I'm sure we won't see each other much. But you and Taehyung have got this. I'm sure he'll be a good support system." Jungkook gave one last smile. "I've gotta go. So please, let me go. You should head home and get warm. Don't catch a cold hyung."

"Jungkook..." I love you.

"I love you hyung. I'll see you when I see you." He turned and left, the rain now hitting even harder.

Jimin stood and watched him go, his chest hurting more than it ever had.

Why couldn't he say it? Why couldn't he have just kissed him, why didn't he get closer and hold him, why didn't he have the courage to speak up and tell him what he was really thinking and feeling.

Why couldn't he explain to him that the past few months he'd never been happier than when Jungkook was in his bed, the two talking and laughing, being close and touching. 

Why couldn't he say it? Those aren't hard words to say, he'd said them a million times to Jungkook. Oh god...Jungkook must've thought...oh god. Jimin cried, shivering. Jungkook wasn't coming back to keep him warm this time.

He finally got to his apartment, going to the bathroom to undress. His clothes were soaking, and his hair was a mess and his eyes were disgusting and he was disgusting.

No wonder Jungkook acted so weird around him. No wonder he always reacted to his touches. How could he have ever thought it was someone else, when Jungkook was the only one giving him butterflies? When Jungkook was all he compared a guy to, when Jungkook would be upset about his dates, rushing off when he said he couldn't date anyone at the table.

Why was he so stupid? It was right in front of him! He just needed a push. He just needed a glance in the mirror. If Jungkook had told him in a less...in a better place, Jimin would've kissed him on the spot. Jimin would've given him sweet kisses, inviting hugs, and reassuring words.

Jimin wanted to give Jungkook everything he had.

That's what he had to do. He had to find Jungkook after the break. He had to tell him before it was too late.

____

"Jungkook...how was your first week?" Jihyo asked as she made a huge meal.

Jungkook was surprised to see so much food being made by her. "It went fine, actually. I think I'm getting the hang of it without much tutoring."

"It's girls night...you okay with that?"

"Oh god, I forgot. I'll see if someone will let me stay the night. Not to be rude, but you guys are wild." Jungkook shook his head.

"Fair. You probably just don't want to have 9 girls crying about your sob story."

"Hey- you know what, maybe I do." Jungkook countered, a smile on his face. "Thanks again. I'll keep helping pay rent."

"Of course. You're my friend." She laughed. "But you know..."

"What do you need?" Jungkook stood from the couch, getting the apartment keys.

"More of that weird sauce you don't like."

"Great. Want me to get drinks too?"

"I've got quite enough this time. Thanks though, you're an angel~" she smiled as he kept up with her cooking.

Jungkook headed out, even though he'd just gotten back from school. He was a good whiles away from his college, Jihyo going to a different college, but the busses were easy to take. Besides...it beat having to see Jimin. Lord only knows he'd burst into tears if he saw him.

Something still sat wrong with him. As if Jimin was reaching out for more than- no, no, you're moving on, and hanging out with lesbians only, plus Momo. No Jimin. No Jimin. Absolutely no Jimin.

A huge part of him was dying to see him, hold him, see his smile, hear him laugh. He wanted his hands on his skin, his puffs of breath on his chest, he wanted to play with his hair one more time, having his hand on his thigh just one more time, his shoulder touching his own, their knees knock together.

Maybe he wasn't over him. Maybe he never would be. How could he? When someone was as beautiful inside and out as Jimin was, how could anyone ever fall out of love with him?

God damn it he was fucked. Absolutely, terribly fucked. There really was no way around it.

He already felt like an asshole, ignoring Jimin. But Jimin hadn't texted or called him either. Maybe...well, it had been all of summer. He'd had a good amount of time to think. Maybe he could go back to Jimin. Maybe he could spent Jimin's last year of college with him, making it special and then leave. A whole year without him was going to be rough. Maybe he could just...reach out.

A coffee date. Jungkook was lost in thought as he arrived to the store, bought the nasty sauce, and headed back.

A coffee date...hopefully late at night. That way they could go to Jimin after without the thought of homework or school. Preferably a weekend too. Maybe...he could fix things up. He'd been horrible. And he didn't want to be horrible anymore.

He started to plan it out in his head, what he'd order, what he'd wear...what he'd say. He thought harder on that. Maybe he should stay the night with the lesbians and Momo, maybe they know how to make the perfect date.

Jungkook sure as hell didn't. They could also raid his closet, or give him tips on what to wear.

When he got back, he saw three cars parked in front, and he was done for. He got to the apartment and opened it, hearing the chatter from all of the girls in Jihyo's apartment.

"Thank you love!~" Jihyo snatched the sauce and added it to the food she was cooking. "You staying or did you find a place? You can sleep in one of the cars if you didn't."

"I love being poor." Jungkook sighed, but smiled. "Actually..." he felt suddenly nervous, the chatter dying down to listen in. "I was wondering if you would help me?" Jungkook looked down, his voice becoming quiet.

"Aww~ how cute! I'm just about done with food, go ask for their help. Send Momo my way please~"

Momo got up went to help Jihyo.

Jungkook nervously went to the living room full of girls.

He licked his lips, gaining a coo from the crowd. "How cute!~"

Jungkook blushed. "Never mind Jihyo, I'll just go to my room-"

"Nope! Ask you coward!"

Jungkook sat on the floor, the girls smiling.

"How...I...I'm trying to plan a date. And I want to got to a cafe at night. What- what should I wear? Or s-say?" Jungkook stuttered, his lisp working against him.

Jihyo gasped from the kitchen, running into the living room with Momo.

"You asked him out?!"

"Not yet! But...I want to. I'll do it. I can easily text him, and knowing Jimin, he'll say yes. But I want to impress him. I want to look good."

"Can we look at your closet?"

"Please."

The girls split off, some staying with Jungkook the others going to raid his closet.

"Alright, let's think it through. If I was going on a date with a pretty girl, I would pay for everything, make sure they had enough sweet things to eat, and compliment them endlessly." Dahyun said it simply.

"A night time date?" One of them yelled down the hall.

"Yes!" Jungkook yelled back. "Alright. So...confess my love."

"Ummmm...basically. But you already did that."

"But this time I won't turn him down. I want to talk it through now that I'm passed the feeling of being absolutely crushed."

"Cool, cool."

Sana and Tzuyu came back with clothes. "You really only wear black?"

"I...yeah."

Tzuyu shook her head. "Unacceptable. You gotta wear something enticing, something with a little bit of sex appeal. Maybe some color. You like blue or red?"

"I like blue."

"Great. Give me a week and me and Sana can get you a nicer shirt. Outfit done!" Tzuyu gave an enthusiastic thumbs up.

"Outfit done?" Jungkook cocked his head.

"I'm going to get you a nice silk shirt, blue of course. You have black ripped pants and a nice belt, and you've got some nice black boots." Sana nodded along with her words. "You're going to look great. Unbutton the first few buttons and bang! you'll look great." She finger gunned him.

"Wow, how- how much will that cost?"

"Nothing. A friend of Jihyo is a friend of ours." The girls nodded.

"That's...so kind of you. I'm...actually going to go to bed, see if he'll agree to a weekend date. Don't listen in, I'll update you if he answers." Jungkook thanked them all again, then went to his room.

He took a huge breath before opening the window and looking out, sending Jimin the first text in three months.

Jungkook
Hey hyung. I'm feeling better, I'm willing to go through our patching up process.

Jungkook felt like that looked weird, or needed something else.

Jungkook
Will you call me? If not, I understand. I'm not going to push anything. I just...can't stand not being with you

Jungkook let out a large sigh. Send.

He got out some homework that he could stress work on instead of thinking about Jimin. But what was he kidding. He was kind of excited. He knew it was going to be disappointing, and maybe heart shattering again, but he's been yearning, yearning for too long.

Jihyo had seriously slapped some sense into him. He'd gotten his mind straight and focused. Jimin was his goal, and if he said no, then they'd play it off like a joke and still be friends.

His phone rang, and Jungkook felt his heart beat fast. He was glad, but terrified, but excited.

Jungkook picked it up. "Hyung?"

"Jungkook?"

His voice was sweet like honey, and Jungkook put down his pencil, swiveling the chair so he could look out the open window and see the street and sky.

"Hey Jimin hyung..."

"You're feeling better?"

"Yeah. I...I miss you..." Jungkook felt bad for saying it. He wanted to sound confident, but instead he was the boy, soft around the edges, that Jimin had first met.

"I've missed you too. I'm glad you're feeling better."

His voice was quiet, like he was afraid Jungkook would leave again.

"Are...are you free this Saturday?"

"Oh? Let me check real quick." Jungkook heard Jimin move quickly, going to his calendar. "I'm free after 1?"

"Are you free for that night?"

"Yeah. Where do you want to meet up? Assuming, that's what you're asking?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm...still thinking about it. I'll text you...when I think of the right place?"

"That sounds good Jungkook. I...I can't wait to see you." Jimin sounded like he was smiling, and Jungkook felt at ease. Maybe this was going to be okay after all.

"I can't wait either."

"I hope you're really ready for a big conversation."

"I am. I'm very ready. More than ready."

"Good. I am too. I'll...I'll see you then?" The hope in his voice killed Jungkook instantly. His chest hurt, but the butterflies outweighed the pain.

"I'll see you then hyung." Jungkook heard Jimin hang up, and he set his phone down.

He stood and nearly squealed, punching the air in excitement. He ran out of the room, a huge smile on his face. "I've got a date!"

"Hell yeah!" The chorus of girls yelling gave Jungkook pride.

They were great, absolutely amazing support. Just what Jungkook needed to get through this week.

____

Jimin hung up the phone and ached. Jungkook's voice was so sweet, and kind, and he felt good again. For the first time in months, he felt good. Jungkook was up and running, and Jimin was going to fucking confess or die.

He had to pick out an outfit. Oh god, he had to think of hairstyles and makeup. He immediately FaceTimed Taehyung.

"It's late." Taehyung groaned, in his bed playing games.

"You're up. Anyways, Jungkook called me, I have till Friday to pick an outfit, makeup, and hair style. Help me out."

"Jungkook called?!"

"He called, and he sounded so happy." Jimin gushed. "I have hope Taehyung! I'll do it this time. I won't let it go to shit again."

"Do it! My god, do it! You've got this!" His encouragement was lovely. "Alright, I know your closet pretty well so..." Taehyung imagined it in his head.

"I like brown eyeshadow, so keep that in mind."

"You better style your hair up, Jungkook will drool over that."

Jimin laughed. "He's not a horndog."

"Alright...got it. Let's get that 70's look. Those bell bottoms you have...plain white shirt, that fucking Gucci jacket and belt you got. Dress shoes. You choose the accessories."

"You're a blessing." Jimin kissed the air. "Love you!"

"Get to sleep, you've got an early class you dimwit."

"I'll lose sleep over Jungkook anyways." Jimin smiled.

____

Jungkook nervously looked at himself in the mirror, Tzuyu, Sana, and Jihyo looking at him in his outfit.

"Unbutton the top two, I'm fucking telling you-"

"Jihyo!" Sana slapped her arm.

"He's my roommate, it's fine." She laughed. "But seriously. Do it."

Jungkook's wise eyes turned to Tzuyu and Sana.

"Do it."

Jungkook sighed and did it. He felt slightly embarrassed to see so much skin on himself, but he felt...older too. His outfit looked nice.

"Huh. Who knew."

"You've got the most unfair figure. I wish I had your waist." The three complained, whining.

"Let me do your hair real quick." Sana didn't ask for permission, Jungkook leaning down for her. His longer hair was tuckable now, but she simply got it wet, then made the front curls frame his face. "There you go. Do you have a scent?"

"No. Too strong."

"Fair. Put on a lip tint and you're a done deal."

"Alright. Thank you guys so much, I'll update you. Hopefully I'll stay at his apartment though."

"Get it." Jihyo winked, making them laugh.

"I doubt it."

"Well, hurry on." Jihyo waved a hand. "Get to it."

"Sure thing ma'am." Jungkook giggled and took his set of keys, heading out laughing, Jihyo yelling something about not being an old lady, and that they're the same age.

Jungkook headed to the spot, taking the last bus into the busier city. He really hoped Jimin would let him stay the night.

When he arrived, the place was nearly empty. He'd picked a nicer cafe then he first imagined. If he was going to dress nice, he might as well pick a place that also felt fancier.

He exhaled, watching the door after he took a seat. He tapped his foot on the floor, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue out of nerves.

And then...Jimin arrived, and Jungkook lost his breath. His outfit...his face, his gorgeous smile once he saw Jungkook. It lit up his entire world.

Jungkook stood, Jimin walking over and giving him the biggest hug he'd ever received from him. Jimin didn't let go, and Jungkook held him just as tight. They didn't want to let go.

Jungkook rocked them side to side, feeling Jimin hold tighter and tighter. "I miss you." His voice was muffled.

"I missed you too hyung. You ready to get something to snack on?"

"Sure." The two let go slowly, not really wanting to, before ordering some sweets and some drinks. When they got to their table, they seemed to really notice what the other was wearing.

"Oh wow." Jungkook lost his air again, seeing Jimin's hair up, his frame completely on display. He was shaped by god himself, and kindly at that. But his hair, his makeup, oh god.

Jimin looked him up and down. "New shirt?"

"Yeah. It was a gift."

"It looks good on you." Jimin smiled. "So tell me...tell me everything."

"I love you hyung." Jungkook blurted it out, remembering Dahyun's advice. "And I'm not going to hide that anymore. It's a fact, and I'm willing to hear you say no this time. I thought the worst thing you could ever find out was that I loved you, and that our friendship would be broken, but the worst thing ever is not being around you."

Jimin nodded.

"So...I'm ready to hear it this time. I won't be running away. I really, really want to reconnect." Jungkook gulped. "Does that sound okay? It's okay if you don't want to, if it's too weird."

"Are you done?" Jimin asked with a kind smile.

Jungkook nodded, red. It was easier this time. Because something felt off.

"Alright, then it's my turn. Jungkook." Jimin grinned ear to ear, eyes turning into crescents as he leaned forward, Jungkook leaning in without thinking. "I love you too."

Jungkook didn't process it. "Huh?" He so beautifully answered lamely. "What?"

"I love you." Jimin laughed. He leaned back and started to eat. "I love you a lot. You've given me so much time to think about you...and I've realized a lot of things. I've always looked for people who had a little bit of you in them. I've always tried to find a second best but you're right. There's only one Jeon Jungkook. And I'm certainly ready to ruin our friendship."

"Ruin?" Jungkook was still at a loss.

"We should be lovers instead."

Jungkook felt liked he'd died and gone to heaven. Was this real? Was Jimin really this beautiful in front of him, saying the exact things he wanted to hear. Did...was all of this real?

"You mean it?"

"I mean it. I love you." Jimin giggled. "It feels so nice to say it to you. "I love you so much Jungkook. I'm sorry I couldn't say it when you needed to hear it most but...I'm ready to patch things up."

Jungkook exhaled all of his breath, his chest in a different kind of pain this time. Maybe, a happy one? He didn't know that feeling too well. But he nodded, and started to smile, and looked down a little.

"You mean it? You really mean it?" Jungkook was grinning now, his giddy grin making Jimin laugh.

"I mean it. You wanna come over?"

"I'd love to Jimin. But...let me guess. You still don't have a shirt for me?" Jungkook raised his eyes, smiling.

"You're right. But that's okay. You look...really good, and I'd love to get that shirt off of you." Jimin eyed Jungkook's chest, being able to see more than a silver.

"A-ah." Jungkook blushed a little. Jimin's obvious flirting was new, but...he loved it. "A-as long as you have your hands on me, it'll be fine." Jungkook decided he was allowed to flirt now too. And to see Jimin's reaction, made it all so much better.

"That won't be a problem." Jimin smiled, and Jungkook felt all his pain go away. "I want to be intimate with you...without feeling guilty."

"I really...will I really get to be with you? I can- I can-" Jungkook was in absolutely shock. His eyes were wide, not looking away from Jimin.

"You can hold me, and kiss me, and make me feel better, give me everything you think I deserve. You're allowed to, yes."

"You deserve the world." Jungkook reaches out his hand, and Jimin took it.

"And the moon and the stars." Jimin smiled. "I deserve everything."

"Fuck." Jungkook dreamily melted, his smile dopey. Jimin traced his hand with his small fingers, laughing a little. "You do. Am...am I enough?"

"I deserve the best, don't I?"

"You do, but-"

"Then I deserve you. Right?"

"Right." Jungkook didn't know if he could lose it more. Now that he knew Jimin's touches were meant for him, meant to make him squirm, to make him love him even more. His chest hurt. He'd never been so happy before.

"Do you wanna...head home?"

Jungkook nodded eagerly, packing their treats for a midnight snack. Or breakfast.

Jungkook held the bag of treats, his other hand entwined with Jimin's.

"How was your summer?" Jungkook asked quietly, knowing if he was going to feel bad asking anything.

"It was nice. Taehyung brought me to his family, and then it was a lot of college prep for our senior year. How was yours?"

"No wonder you're tanner. I moved in with Jihyo after I spent some time at home. You remember her?"

"Yeah, yeah. She's the one who's got that whole group of girls right?"

Jungkook laughed. "Yeah. You should thank them for my outfit. All I own is black."

"You look good no matter what." Jimin huffed. "It's really unfair. You've got the most perfect waist."

"Says you. You've got the most perfect everything."

Jimin laughed. It felt so good to see him laugh, to hear him be happy. With him. "I beg to differ."

"Then beg."

Jimin laughed again. "Who taught you that?"

"You've got a perfect everything hyung."

"Mmm...I think you do."

"Just means you're not your own ideal body type. And that's okay."

Jimin smiled. "Fine. You win." He paused for a moment, maybe to simply take in the moment. "You've been keeping in touch with everyone, right?"

"I have. I'm really proud of Namjoon hyung."

"Seokjin hyung has given him grief. Have you seen his posts? He's posted nothing but vaguely too explicit pictures of him and Namjoonie hyung, it's so funny."

"I saw! Namjoon hyung has been so embarrassed, it's really funny." Jungkook laughed.

"I can't believe he moved in so quickly either. Hey, you should move in with me."

"Aren't you going to move out of that apartment after you graduate?"

"You can have it after I graduate. But still...I want to be close to you. Even closer." Jimin seemed to hint at something, and Jungkook blushed.

"C-closer?"

"Yeah. Closer." Jimin gave a hum. "I want to be closer."

They got to the apartment, Jungkook setting down the sweets on the counter. It looked fairly the same, a bit cleaner, but roughly the same. They took off their shoes before Jimin took Jungkook's hand and led him to the bedroom.

"Do you need a shower?"

"Maybe." Jungkook shrugged. "I didn't do much today except dress to impress you."

"Well...you certainly did that." Jimin eyed him again, reaching, and untucking Jungkook's shirt. "Can I?" He looked up at him, their eyes locking.

"Yeah." Jungkook barely breathed, his head spinning, his heart beating fast.

Jimin started to unbutton his shirt, then let it slip off.

"Jimin..." Jungkook moved closer, Jimin's hand on his chest. He held his waist, leaning his head down ever so slightly. "Can I kiss you?"

"Do you even need to ask?" Jimin snaked his hand up and around his neck, carefully pushing them closer.

Jungkook closed the gap, finally, finally kissing Jimin.

And if he'd ever know what it was like to be in hell, he no longer did. Heaven was all he could possibly imagine, his soft lips bringing every bad thing he might've ever done to a null. If he understood what salvation was, it was this.

He brought Jungkook to his knees at the softness and slowness of the kiss, putty underneath him like he always was. It felt as if this wasn't their first time, yet it brought new sparks to Jungkook's burning fire. A burning flame that grew and grew, no matter how many times he'd tried to dump water on it.

Maybe...just maybe, this was all meant to be. The way everything was. Maybe it was meant to be like this, so Jungkook could really understand the meaning of love and really understood his love for Jimin.

Because he really did at this moment. He understood every little thing that Jimin was, and loved him for it.

When Jimin let his hand go from the nape of his neck to his cheek, he started to cry.

"Oh Jungkook..." Jimin spoke so gently, so kindly, that Jungkook only sobbed. He rubbed his eyes, Jimin moving them to his bed, the two sitting on the edge. Jimin held his cheeks, wiping the tears with his thumbs. "It's okay. I'm here." He left caring kisses on his cheeks, forehead, the tip of his nose, and lips. Jungkook felt his heart beat fast, Jimin's comfort killing him.

"I-I love you Jimin. I love you so much." He hiccuped, and Jimin simply smiled.

"I love you too."

Jungkook placed his hands on top of Jimin's and leaned into them, sniffing here and there. "I've loved you for so long hyung."

"For how long Jungkook?" Jimin still spoke softly, and Jungkook ached, being able to tell him all of this.

"You said...you said you were hard to love. But it took me three months hyung, so don't - so don't ever say you're hard to love again. You're so easy to love for me."

"Oh Jungkook...you should've told me." Jimin kissed him again. "I would've understood. It took me some time to see that what I was feeling was romantic instead of platonic, but my angel...you should've just given me a push. I would've figured it out."

"I didn't want to ruin our friendship."

"Solid feelings are worth making a tweak to the product." Jimin wiped the last of his tears. "Besides...I'm here now. And it's better late than never." Jimin put their foreheads together. "And I'm here now. So...I'm ready to learn even more about you."

Jungkook let out a whine from his throat, feeling emotional. "I'm sorry for always being so weird around you, I should've been a better friend."

"You'll be an even better boyfriend Jungkook." Jungkook finally let go of Jimin's hands. "Now let's clean up and get in bed. I want to lay with you."

"Yeah. Let me take a shower. I'll...fix myself up." Jungkook laughed a little, a stuffy laugh.

"Alright. I'll give you some clothes. I'll take one after you."

"Alright Jimin. I...I love you." Jungkook smiled as they stood up. It felt so nice to say it out loud.

"I love you too Jungkookie."

Jungkook took a shower with happy thoughts, his cheeks hurting from smiling too much. Jimin really was...really did...he couldn't even form enough words to express his happiness.

When he got out of the shower, he saw that Jimin still hadn't gotten him a shirt big enough. It was endearing to know that Jimin let this little joke go on.

They traded places, Jimin a little more red than before, as he went to take his own shower.

Jungkook flopped on the bed, texting his friends.

Jungkook
I'm happier than I can even comprehend it, we did it. I'm dating Jimin!!

He set his phone down, deciding he'd answer them in the morning, when his head wasn't entirely full of Jimin and his soft hair, and shining eyes, and playful smile, and- okay, so maybe his head was always full of Jimin, but tomorrow would be better to explain things anyways.

When Jimin came out, Jungkook almost lost it again. If he wasn't enticing enough, he sure as fuck was now.

He held onto his arm with nerves as he stood in the doorway. "Um...I really haven't done laundry in a long time, so sorry about that."

Jungkook sat up on his elbows to see Jimin better. His silhouette from the bathroom light made it hard for him to see what he was wearing. "You're so pretty hyung." Jungkook smiled once he could get a better idea of what he was wearing.

"You think so?" Jimin turned off the light and went to Jungkook, getting under the blankets. Jungkook followed suit.

"You're always pretty. And pretty clothes are, well, pretty on you." Jungkook smiled. They faced each other, Jungkook placing a hand on the small of Jimin's back. He could feel the silky material of his camisole. Feminine clothes looked nice on him.

Jimin gave a small laugh. "Yeah, alright." He moved closer, his leg entangling with Jungkook's. He let his hand awkwardly be between them, resting on Jungkook's cheek once again. He brought them even closer to kiss him, their lips slotting together. Jimin led it, not letting it go too fast or desperate. It was soft, and it was slow, and it was exactly what Jungkook wanted. Sleepy kisses, right after showers, where they were warm, and together, and safe.

Jimin kissed him for who knows how long, until the two fell asleep, too tired to do much else.

____

Jimin woke up slowly, Jungkook fast asleep next to him. They really hadn't moved too much, but Jimin's shoulder was killing him, so he adjusted. Jungkook didn't seem to stir.

He took it all in. Really, really took it in. Maybe if he hadn't been so dense, Jungkook wouldn't have cried so much or so often. Maybe if he had noticed all that Jungkook had done for him it wouldn't feel as bad. Maybe if he could've just accepted that he was lovable, and capable of love, then his eyes would've opened to the easiest thing to see.

Maybe he would've looked next to him instead of always looking forward.

And so he did. Jimin looked beside himself to see Jungkook. He was calm, and happy. He radiated happiness, maybe having a good dream. He caressed his cheek, brushing some hair out of his face. He looked so sweet and peaceful, that Jimin didn't dare wake him up.

He wanted Jungkook to wake up and have Jimin beside him, so he could have that heart killing smile and say good morning hyung ever so sweetly. Jimin longed for it, happy to know he'd hear it plenty more times.

When Jungkook finally started to stir, he smiled, feeling Jimin's hand in his hair.

"Good morning hyung." Jungkook felt a warmth in his chest as Jimin placed a kiss on his forehead.

"Good morning my love."

"How could I possibly ask for more." Jungkook moved closer, hand slipping up Jimin's camisole. "This is a nice fabric." He nuzzled into Jimin's chest, Jimin's still playing with his hair. His scent was sweet.

"It's silk. It's very nice fabric." Jimin hummed.

"Mmmm." Jungkook cuddled closer. "How long have you been awake."

"Not sure. I was just lost in thought for a while." Jimin softly played with his hair, his heart beating faster once Jungkook started to kiss at his exposed chest.

"Didn't know you liked feminine clothes..." he mumbled against his skin. "I would've bought you some."

"What would you've done knowing I like feminine clothes sometimes? You would've gotten that into your head."

"Dunno...maybe would've had some more heart problems. You're so pretty hyung. Do you like being called pretty?"

"Yeah. I like it." Jimin smiled, scraping his nails on Jungkook's scalp just barely, enough to be relaxing.

Jungkook kissed up to his throat, soft, and slow, and loving. He then began to bite, taking skin into his mouth.

"Mm...Kookie..."

"...can I leave a mark?"

"Yeah. Yeah, you can do that." Jimin felt his cheeks heat up, Jungkook's soft kiss became ingrained in his mind. "You can leave however many you like."

"Don't promise me that."

"Why not?"

"I'll make you remember that." Jungkook laughed a little, attacking his throat a lot less kindly this time. "Want you hyung..." Jungkook whispered against his skin, marking him here and there.

"You've just got your feet in the water, there's no need to dive into the deep end yet." Jimin felt Jungkook's neediness, his hands pushing up the back of Jimin's shirt.

"But you're here now."

"I know you're needy in the mornings...but just kisses okay?" Jimin kept running his hand through Jungkook's hair. "There's no need to rush."

"Mmmm. You're right. I know you're right. But I just can't help but feel excited. You're- you're really here with me. And you really...really love me."

"I've always loved you. I just had to figure out what kind of love."

Jungkook ran his hand down Jimin's back, playing with the hem of his shorts. "But you mean it...this time...you mean it the same way I mean it."

"I do." Jimin wished he could fix all the heartbreak he'd caused him. Even though he knew he couldn't, he knew he could help him feel better at least. "I love you so much Jungkook."

Jungkook held him closer. "If you keep saying it I might just explode."

"Aww~ is my Kookie blushing? You feel hot against me."

"You're like a dream. I've...always dreamed you'd say those words to me and mean it."

"I love you Jungkook. I love you so much. I love you. I love love love-"

Jungkook moved up to kiss him, his heart pounding out of his chest. Jimin was too kind.
He carefully sat up first, the blanket falling off his back and Jungkook lost it. He saw Jimin clearly for the first time, and his blush became a deep red. "J-Jimin oh god." Jungkook leaned down to kiss him again, this time being completely over him.

"Jungkook-"

"Hyung you're so pretty." Jungkook peppered him in kisses, from his lips, to his neck, then chest. "Fuck hyung..." Jungkook was burning up.

Jimin giggled. "Why're you so embarrassed? We've been swimming before, you've seen me nearly naked."

"...'s not the same. You're just really pretty hyung..." he continued to kiss wherever he could. He wanted to touch him.

"If I'd known you'd react like this, then maybe I would've worn something pretty to our little date."

"If you'd done that I wouldn't have been able to get a word out. I would've just...stupidly stared."

"You're allowed to stupidly stare."

"Oh god that sounds so nice."

Jimin giggled again, Jungkook peppering him in love. "You're cute."

"You're just so pretty and I- I can't get over it. I can't get over the fact that you- that I- that we're-"

Jimin shushed him. "It's okay. I'm ready to go your pace so you can let it sink in. I've let it sink in for longer than you have."

"When...when did you know?"

"After you...told me all the things you loved about me. I understood it then."

"You could've told me hyung." Jungkook pathetically whined. "I- I would've-"

"You wouldn't have believed me."

"What? Why wouldn't I?"

"How would you respond if someone had explicitly explained that they were basically lonely, and then they heard some good things about themselves and confessed on the spot to that person? That's not believable."

"I would've believed it. I was desperate. I still can't believe I'm able to do this...and that...you're okay with it."

Jimin closed his eyes, feeling Jungkook kiss and mark him here and there. He wanted it ingrained forever in his mind, how it felt.

"I love it. More than okay with it."

Jungkook lost his breath, Jimin feeling that. "You're too...you're too much..."

"I'm finally allowed to be."

"What else are you allowed to be like now? I...I can't wait to learn even more about you."

"I can't wait either."

Jimin's alarm went off, making the two jump.

"You've gotta get ready for what hyung?"

"Homework." Jimin sighed. "Being a senior isn't easy Kookie."

"You can't just take the day off?"

"A day turns into the weekend. I can do work on my bed though, so you can stay here while I get dressed and get some homework-"

"Don't- you don't have to get dressed." Jungkook blushed and cleared his throat. "Please don't."

Jimin laughed. "Alright. Fine. Then will you let me get my homework?"

"Sure." Jungkook let him go, watching him get up from the bed and to his small desk. Jungkook very much enjoyed the view, his cheeks burning with heat, but he couldn't look away. Jimin was just too beautiful to look away.

Jimin finally got all he needed and turned back to Jungkook, who looked away. "It's okay to look."

"You're too beautiful Jimin. I feel like I'm not allowed to look."

"I...want you to though..." he set his things on the bed before sitting down too. "Besides...no one else has seen me in these clothes."

"God I hope not." Jungkook exhaled all his air as Jimin's camisole slipped a little off his shoulder. He fixed it casually, and got to work on his homework, legs crisscrossed, his back now facing Jungkook as he leaned forward to work. "You're a god. You've got to be from so high in heaven to be this perfect."

"Supposedly god makes everyone perfect." Jimin mumbled as he worked.

"Well...if he's real, he's right. He made you and poured every ounce of love he had in him into you." Jungkook loved hearing Namjoon talk about Jin. He made love into poetry, or maybe love was poetry.

Jimin smiled and blushed a little. "You're sweet."

Jungkook finally sat up, moving closer to Jimin and gave him a back hug, legs going around to meet Jimin's. "You deserve every ounce of love and sweetness from me."

"You've been giving for years. I think it's about time I gave back."

"There's no need hyung."

"I'm a giver though. I want to- I want to care for you. In a special way."

"You've got more love in you then I know how to deal with. It's okay." Jungkook kissed his neck. "I'm just still...so happy. I can't believe this at all."

"I can't believe you've liked me for so long."

"How couldn't I? You were...you were all I had, and then you became all I wanted. I never expected you to ever see me as anything other than your friend."

"Well, you are my friend. You're just also more special than that too." Jimin put down his pencil, knowing he wasn't going to get work done with Jungkook kissing on him. "Are you gunna let me work?"

"No." Jungkook smiled and held him closer, nosing into his neck. "I'm just...really out of it."

"How so?"

"Can't believe it still. I just...want to hold you and make sure it's not a dream."

"Hey." Jimin turned around, taking Jungkook's hands. "It's not a dream. It's real."

Jungkook brought their hands up and kissed Jimin's palms. "That's so nice...I'm just not...I can't even begin to think about it. You know it's hard. It's really hard. To just, accept it all. I keep thinking I'm dreaming. That I've just gone, so crazy, that I was dealing with everything so badly that I dreamed up a version of you that wanted me as badly as I wanted you. Needed you." Jungkook huffed as he got it all out, speaking fast. "I feel the need to make sure it's real."

"It's real Jungkook. Look at a clock. Feel my heartbeat. Whatever will make you believe it's real, because it is." Jimin pressed Jungkook's hands against his chest, letting him feel his heartbeat.

"I...I just don't want to wake up." Jungkook smiled a little sadly. "I don't want to open my eyes and feel that you won't feel the same again. I don't want to feel that again Jimin."

"And you won't." Jimin smiled reassuringly. "I'm right here, and I love you. And I always have...I just didn't know it yet."

Jungkook bit his lip.

"Don't cry, it's okay." Jimin shook his head with a small sigh. "Come here."

Jungkook moved closer, moving down so he could hug Jimin and have his head against Jimin's chest. He needed the comfort. "I just can't believe it."

"That's okay. We can take it slow. It'll only be a little different. A lot less hiding stuff. No more hiding things. You can tell me anything, you know that?"

"Yeah. I know that. Did you know that Namjoon hyung almost told you? About me?"

"No?" Jimin played with Jungkook's hair as he clung onto him.

Jungkook pushed Jimin backwards, careful not to make him fall on his books, and held him closer, kissing his chest once again. "Yeah. He said "were in the same situation, if I do it, then you have too as well." and I told him I couldn't. So we kept going back and forth about it, about who would do it first and I swear to god the look on his face when you entered the room..."

"When was this?"

"A while back. When we were studying."

"He's a bit bad with secrets." Jimin laughed a little.

"He is! And you know, he almost said it loud enough for you to hear. I don't know what I would've done."

"We would've made sense of it. We've always fixed things up, even when we weren't at our best." Jimin tried to make him feel better. Anything at all.

"Yeah. You're right. I just didn't see a way out of this one."

"Would you...would you have been able to let go of this?"

Jungkook let silence fill the room. Jimin didn't speak, knowing he'd answer in time. Instead, he played with his hair, letting Jungkook kiss his chest every now and then.

"No. No I don't think I could've." He spoke finally, shaking his head. "It's was always going to be you. No matter what."

"I should've been more attentive. I should've known." Jimin shook his head. "It's all so obvious."

"No no...it wasn't. I never made anything clear."

"I should've known myself Jungkook. I should've known that I wanted you instead of other people, and I should've known that I was looking for you. I just needed that little push. I'm sorry that the little push felt like a breakup."

Jungkook sighed happily. "I'm sorry it was too. I was just...you caught me. You caught me and I couldn't make up for it so I ran away."

"You didn't have to run away. I just wanted to comfort you, but you..."

"I didn't want to walk away, but...I'd rather...not lose you as a friend because of me. I wanted to take the summer break as a way for me to get over you but...well, I ended up just dreaming you. So it wouldn't be impossible for me to be dreaming this time too."

"It's not a dream." Jimin ran his hand through Jungkook's hair over and over. "I'm really here and I really love you."

Jungkook's throat caught, overwhelmed by emotions. "H...hyung..."

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"For?"

"Not giving up on me. I'm so- I'm so weird when it comes to emotions and expressing myself, but you've always let me take my time."

"Well...I've always cared about you. And I'm glad I've helped you through it all, and I'm glad that you trusted me enough to be a part of your life. I always wanted to be someone special to you." Jimin remembered what it was like to meet Jungkook.

"Why? I was just a weird lone kid."

"You were kind. Your eyes were soft and wide, and you were so so cute." Jimin was lost in the memory of young Jungkook. "You...were shy. And I wasn't. And I was older, so I felt like it was my job to make sure you were doing alright. It didn't seem like you had many friends, and I hated seeing that. So us freshmen made sure you younger kids felt welcomed. And you were new."

"I was new."

"And I picked you. Someone else was supposed to befriend you, but I snuffed him out and went to you first." Jimin joked, poking Jungkook's cheek. "I wanted to show you that school wasn't so bad."

"You...I would've been so toast without you. I'm glad you found me."

"I'm glad I did too. I'm glad you felt better around me."

"Well...you were so friendly with everyone. I just wanted to be someone you wanted to be with. I mean, at first it was admiration. But then...then I knew it wasn't."

"I can't believe you went 7 years..."

"I was young, I didn't know exactly what I felt until later. But well...you invited me over so often and you're really cuddly, so I thought it was just normal."

"I should've known once you grew up a bit. When you were a...late junior, almost a senior, you were already defined. Like, really really built. I should've known then. You grew up really fast..."

"I had a lot to live up to. All my friends except Jihyo and Yugyeom are older than me...so I had to grow up with all of you."

"You're allowed to stay childish...we didn't mean to force you to grow up."

"Well, I was growing up faster anyways." Jungkook huffed. "Cause of you."

"I'm sorry I didn't see it. Like, at all. I'm not sure how I didn't. Maybe I'm too affectionate."

"You're not too affectionate. You just...I dunno, maybe you only saw me as the little kid you became friends with."

"Well I can tell you with absolute clarity that I don't see you that way now."

"How do you see me now?"

Jimin smiled as Jungkook raised his head with wide, doe eyes. "I see...the kindest, warmest, most handsome man in the world. There's no arms I'd rather be embraced with, no heart I'd rather be with, and no being I'd rather share myself with. You're special, and better than anyone I know."

"Jimin..." Jungkook smiled. "You mean it?"

"I mean it."

"You're crazy." Jungkook giggled, a lopsided grin replacing his smile. "You're absolutely crazy."

"Because I love you?"

"Because you love me. I can't believe it. I'm in shock." Jungkook laughed a little. "I think I'm going crazy."

Jimin shook his head. "You're just processing."

"Do you have things to do today?"

"No, but I was planning on studying with Taehyung today."

"He can suffer then."

"We should eat and call him actually." Jimin hummed, thinking about their day.

Jungkook mumbled something Jimin couldn't hear.

"Hm?"

"Nothing..."

"No no, I want to hear it."

"I wanna be special today."

"Ah, I see." Jimin laughed lowly. "You're being a baby. My baby."

Jungkook laughed a little, but blushed. Jimin's voice could tell him to do anything and he'd do it. "Y-yeah. I wanna be special today."

"Then what would you like for breakfast?"

"You?"

"Besides me."

"Mmm...no, just you." Jungkook rose up a little to see Jimin. "Can I have you?"

Jimin blushed. "What do you mean by that?"

"You know..." Jungkook became shy once again. "Something that I won't wake up from."

"And that might be?" Jimin smiled a little, seeing Jungkook so shy.

"Whatever you'll let me do."

Jimin laughed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"C...can I touch you?" Jungkook asked earnestly, not wanting to overstep...whatever they were going to move forward with.

Jimin blushed. "I...I don't mind."

"But do you want me to?" Jungkook gave a weak smile. "I won't overstep anything. I'm asking cause we haven't talked about anything."

Jimin smiled. "You're kind. I..." he swallowed his saliva. "I do. Want you to." Jimin nodded. "Only if you're sure."

Jungkook nodded. "I'm sure." Jungkook leaned down again to kiss him, soft and sweet. "As long as I'm not overstepping anything."

"I'm going slow for you. I think you need some time to process it all."

"Mm, yeah. It might take some time." Jungkook raised Jimin's camisole, snaking a hand up his chest. He moved down, shaking his head. "Your tattoo is so fucking hot..."

Jimin gave a small chuckle. "You think so?"

"I know so. I'm looking at it right now."

Jimin laughed. "Thanks."

Jungkook felt better hearing his laugh. "You're so pretty hyung." He shook his head, moving down, his hands trailing down as well. "I want..." he moved Jimin's shorts down slowly, Jimin sitting up on his elbows to see Jungkook. "I..."

"Yes?" Jimin let Jungkook pull down his shorts, Jimin's tugging his shirt down again after getting a shiver.

Jungkook threw the shorts somewhere else, looking up at Jimin. "Can I?" He eyed his crotch, looking Jimin up and down as he lowered himself. His hands hovered over his skin, as if he hadn't touched him before.

"I...yeah. Yes, you can." Jimin watched Jungkook smile shyly, then start to take Jimin's underwear off.

It went slow and quietly, Jungkook careful and scared. He didn't want to wake up. He didn't want to wake up from another perfect dream and feel the pain in his chest. He never wanted to feel that pain in his chest again. It was the worst feeling he could ever imagine, and he didn't want to wake up ever again.

He needed this to be real.

"It's okay Jungkook." Jimin nodded, Jungkook looking up at him. He had a smile, and his cheeks were a nice pink. Jungkook smiled back.

"Okay. I just- you know, wow, I can't believe it."

"Well, you better believe it. Cause you're not waking up from this."

"Good." Jungkook got rid of Jimin's underwear, grabbing his base and starting to stroke him.

Jimin jumped at the touch, not expecting the suddenness of it. "Fuck."

Jungkook did so for only a little, before positioning himself better and taking Jimin into his mouth slowly, making Jimin harder than a rock.

"Fuck." Jimin's eyes widened, taking in the sight.

He went down, and licked as he went up, all slowly, as if taking in every single centimeter and thinking about how it felt. As if he was trying to make sure it was real.

He continued to go slow, Jimin laying down again, the blood rushing to his dick making him focus on Jungkook's lips. He gave a short laugh at how easy it was to make him hard, before choking out a moan.

Jungkook suckled his tip like a lollipop, licking and sucking, making Jimin absolutely fucking lose it.

"God damn it Jungkook, what the fuck." He sat up, his cheeks a deep red. He gulped as his eyes met Jungkook's, those wide doe eyes giving him whiplash. They were way too happy, way too proud of this moment. It made Jimin feel a different kind of way.

Jungkook gave one last lick before stopping, smiling at Jimin shyly. "What?"

"What- What the fuck?" Jimin croaked out his words, his heart pounding. "When- how- what the fuck?"

"...'s it good?" Jungkook raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Good? It- you're amazing."

"Well then." Jungkook smiled wider and went back down, swallowing him whole, gagging slightly, giving Jimin a whole different rush to his cock.

"J-Jungkook!" Jimin whined, Jungkook feeling excited by the sound. After riling Jimin up, he went back to suckling on Jimin's tip, grabbing his base and pumping him. "Jungkook- you're- if you- Kook, fuck, I'm gunna- Kook!"

Jungkook continued, mouth busy with licking and sucking, tongue rolling over his tip with rhythm. He hoped Jimin felt as good as he did. Because by god was this better than any dream he'd ever had.

The hand in his hair was new, and made Jungkook look up at Jimin. He looked so pretty, his face in content, moaning here and there, cheeks red from embarrassment maybe. "J-I'm close Jungkook, you should- should-"

Jungkook shook his head, going down again to make Jimin come.

It wasn't hard to do that. He came almost immediately, Jimin moaning out as he did, Jungkook swallowing and popping off of his cock. Saliva covered him, and Jungkook wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Love it." Jungkook looked up at Jimin, seeing him breathing heavily, hand still in Jungkook's hair. "I'd do that anytime."

"A-awake?"

"Yeah. Yeah I'm awake alright."

"Fuck." Jimin shook his head in confusion. "You...how did you know exactly what to do?"

Jungkook shrugged a little, getting up to get Jimin some tissues. "Think I dreamt about it enough times. I really wanted to do that."

"You've been dying to suck my dick?" Jimin took the tissues and wiped his saliva drenched cock, blushing a little as he did. He couldn't help but think about it all over again.

"Uh, yeah? That's- that's kinda- I've been dying to do a lot of things."

"Like?" Jimin let Jungkook throw the tissues away, but then he got up to get clothes anyways, leaving Jungkook on the bed.

"Like kiss you. That's was something I never thought I'd get to do. You've got a nice ass."

"Thanks. Kissing is easy. I could kiss you all day."

"Bet you're pretty with swollen lips." Jungkook hummed, head up in the clouds at the idea.

Jimin smiled as he got dressed. Something about Jungkook's innocence while doing much dirtier things was attractive to him, and whether or not that made him a masochist, he didn't know.

"I'm pretty all the time. That's a given."

"Yeah, you're right." Jungkook still sounded light and airy, dazed. "You looked real pretty looking at me. You've gotta let me do that again sometime soon, I wanna see you like that more. You were so pretty looking at me like that."

Jimin blushed as he came back to the bed. "H...how did I look?"

"You looked like you felt good. And I love when you're embarrassed, you get the prettiest blush on your cheeks."

"Well...it felt really good. I...you looked good too."

"Oh yeah? And how did I look?" Jungkook smiled and laid on his side, head on his hand.

Jimin put his books on the floor. "W-well..."

"Oh?"

"You looked really cute for someone doing something so- so dirty."

"It isn't dirty. It's fucking hot is what it is. Your cock should be in my mouth more often."

"Jungkook!"

"What? I love it. Just like a popsicle, except it's my favorite flavor; you." Jungkook laughed. "Damn it, I already want you again." He sighed and flopped over on his back, arms spread.

Jimin crawled over and laid down with him. "You're deprived."

"Maybe. I think I just love you, ya know? Couldn't even imagine loving someone else. That's absurd."

Jimin rubbed Jungkook's chest. "I hope I'll be able to make it up to you."

"No no, don't feel bad. You don't have to make anything up to me. This is the start of our relationship, there doesn't have to be anything before it, you know?"

"Yeah...yeah. You're right."

"So...do I have to brush my teeth first or can I kiss you more?"

____

Jungkook groggily got back to Jimin's apartment. His whole day had been full of practices, and he hadn't been able to see Jimin for a week besides their mornings and dinners.

The two had also had to explain and tell their friends, Taehyung and Changkyun the most annoying about it. Jungkook couldn't get Changkyun to stop yelling at him, as he sat there and took the treatment, and Taehyung would've yelled it to the world from the rooftops if Jimin hadn't yelled at him.

In all, it wasn't so bad. Namjoon had congratulated him, Yugyeom had cried with him which was rare, and he finally felt that feeling in his chest become different.

There was no more pain.

Just...a different kind of longing.

Jungkook got inside the apartment, dropping his bag in their room before taking a shower. It was late, he was tired, and he wanted to sleep so so badly. He was ready to sleep in and wake up next to Jimin, take the morning slow, and simply relax. If he had to go out one more time this week he was going to murder.

Jungkook finished his shower, then heard the door. Jimin must've just got home.

"Kookie!~ I brought food, you hungry?" Jimin called out from the kitchen, Jungkook yelling back.

"Yeah! Give me a minute." He put on some clothes, a little too warm for his liking, and took of his shirt, holding it in his hand to put on later, before heading into the kitchen.

"Oh!" Jimin's eyes widened in surprise before smiling, going over and hugging Jungkook. "Didn't know you'd be shirtless."

"I just took a shower."

"No wonder you smell good." Jungkook leaned down to kiss him before the two prepared bowls.

"How was your day?" They sat at the table and ate.

"Busy busy. I had to do so many presentations today. Like, way too many. I wish I wasn't a top class student sometimes, just so I could relax."

"It's the weekend now, so it's time to relax. It'll be nice."

Jimin gave a small smile and sighed. "I'll still have to do work."

Jungkook rolled his eyes with a smile. "But you need to relax a little."

"It's my senior year. I don't have time to relax."

"Then I'll force you to relax. I'll make sure you relax."

"And how might you do that?"

"I've got a hell of a lot more muscles than you. I think I could pin you down."

"Ooo, please do. You know I'd love that."

Jungkook blushed. "I-I just meant-"

"I know." Jimin raised an eyebrow. "Are you shy?"

"N-no, I mean yeah, but no." Jungkook shoved food in his mouth.

Jimin laughed. "Kook! I swear to god you've been hinting all week."

"I mean, a good joke here and there, but I didn't expect you to say yes. Or say anything actually."

"I mean." Jimin looked at his food, pouting his lips and looking up at Jungkook. "I've thought about it."

"O-oh?" Jungkook bit down his growing smile. "You have?"

Jimin nodded. "I have. I mean, it's you. I trust you." He looked down at his food again, slightly embarrassed. "And that's not something I can say lightly."

"Have you trusted anyone else you've dated?"

Jimin peaked a look before looking down at his food again. "...no."

Jungkook gave a short, breathy laugh. "What?"

"I haven't. It's just...it's just you."

Jungkook's chest felt full of butterflies. "Really?"

"Really. I mean it. I...I trust you."

"I'm glad. I'm really really happy. I didn't know that I would be so special in your eyes."

"Of course you are!" Jimin looked up at him again, becoming embarrassed at his reaction. "God, sorry...of course you are..."

"You know." Jungkook smiled wide, chin on his knuckles. "You're really cute when you're embarrassed."

"Jungkook." Jimin tried to keep eye contact. "I'm trying my best to be serious."

"I'm serious too. You're absolutely adorable." He let his eyes focus on Jimin's lips. The pout was just too much. "Makes me want to see what you're like underneath me, disheveled and whining. I imagine you're even cuter then."

"Oh god Jungkook." Jimin looked down. "You're...not allowed to...be so- so forward with me."

"But after all this time, I should make my feeling clear." Jungkook cleared his throat. "Shouldn't I?"

"I man, yes, but I'm- I'm just very-" Jimin sighed. "I'm just very overwhelmed. By myself."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, I shouldn't have my head so deep in the gutter."

"Oh no, that's alright. Mines been cloudy since I sucked your-"

"Ah! Don't." Jimin held out a hand to stop him, his blush burning his cheeks. "Don't. I'm really- I'm really on the edge."

"And why might that be?" Jungkook took Jimin's hand and brought it to his lips, kissing his palm.

"I-I can't- you're still young, and I'm not exactly vanilla and I don't want to...to be weird."

"Who says I'm vanilla? Whatever you want, I want too. That's just a given. Besides...it doesn't matter that I'm younger, I know what I want and what I want is you."

"Jungkook, I'm just not sure I'll be the kindest to you."

Jungkook pouted, kissing his palm again. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean I want to tease you until you're begging Jungkook. You know...that sort of thing." Jimin felt embarrassed beyond comparison, unable to look Jungkook in the eyes.

"I'll beg for you. I'd do anything for you." Jungkook spoke too earnestly, Jimin looking up at him, finally able to hold eye contact for longer.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, whatever you want is more than I could ever ask for. We don't even have to soon, I'll wait for as long as you want to. Maybe after midterms, or after you graduate. You know, whenever we're free. I'm willing to wait. But don't think that me being young is an excuse, okay? It's a discussion." Jungkook pouted and kissed Jimin's palm once more.

"Yeah. Yeah you're right. It's a discussion, and I think...we're too busy at the moment. I want to spoil you when the time comes, instead of college bullshit. I want to make it special."

"Anything with you is special."

"You know what I mean. I want to make it special special."

Jungkook smiled and moved his cheek into Jimin's hand. "That's okay. Then let's wait for a special time."

"You're okay with that?"

"Of course. I'm going to wait for you, that's always going to be true. And besides," Jungkook let go of Jimin's hands. "I'm always going to love seeing you embarrassed and shy. For someone so shameless, you'd really think you'd be more confident."

Jimin shook his head. "Not with you." He went back to eating, his face a deep crimson at this point.

"Why not? You always tease me, but when I'm forward you become very shy."

"I do. I- I dunno, it's like I think you're some god that shouldn't be touched with any sort of lust. You feel so pure compared to me."

Jungkook laughed at this. "Jimin! I'm nowhere near pure. If you could get a glimpse inside my head...you'd know there's a lot more going in there than just sucking-"

"Ah, don't." Jimin laughed. "You'll remind me."

"I want to." Jungkook pouted. "You should ask more often. I'll do it."

"Jungkook." Jimin covered his face. "You're..." he cleared his throat. "You're too much."

"You're not used to this? I swear to god people would be begging to fuck you."

"I've never been begged to."

"You're a Greek god among us regular people, I don't know how someone hasn't begged to you before. I'll do it." Jungkook raised an eyebrow.

"Jungkook."

"What? I'll do it. Either way, I can imagine it either way. Would you rather me beg to have your cock up my ass or would you rather me beg to fuck you senseless?" He gave a wide grin, watching Jimin become flustered.

"Jungkook! The words coming out of your mouth..." Jimin hid more. "They're so..."

"Not pure? That's cause I'm not hyung. I'm not. Your idea that I might be is quite funny." Jungkook finished his food. "Thanks for the meal, it was very delicious."

"Eat the rest of mine if you want it." Jimin spoke through his hands, feeling how hot his cheeks were against his palms.

"Can I have you instead?"

"Jungkook!"

Jungkook laughed. "How riled up can I make you? They're just words hyung."

"But I- I imagine things Jungkook." He burrowed his face in is arms now, and Jungkook took his food. "I imagine them and then I get hot and bothered and I- I don't know what to do after that. And you're always looking at me so innocently and I just- I'm going to lose it one day."

"Good. I want you to." Jungkook finished Jimin's food. "Thanks again."

Jimin nodded, head on the table at this point. "No problem."

"Nothing to add? I wanna know what goes on in your head. I wanna know what you think about me."

"Jungkook." Jimin warned, not daring to look up.

"Yes, my love?"

"You don't wanna know what goes on in my head."

"I do, actually." Jimin heard Jungkook clean the table.

"Why?"

"I don't want to feel alone in my thoughts. Is it just me going crazy for you?" Jimin heard Jungkook kneel beside his chair and take one of his arms, prying him away from the table. "Or are you thinking too many thoughts about me as well?"

Jimin finally budged. He sat up and looked at Jungkook, letting him take his hands. "You're not the only one thinking too many thoughts."

"Then can I know them?" Jungkook played with Jimin's hands, a smile coming onto his lips.

"No." Jimin tried not to smile.

"Aww, why not?"

"You need to focus on school."

"I've always had my head in the clouds. You just also tend to be there."

"Well...you have to focus better, then maybe you'll get to hear what's going on in my head."

"You're my tutor, teach me better and I'll focus better."

"You don't focus when I teach you, you just kiss me." Jimin raised an eyebrow, watching Jungkook's stand up, still holding his hands.

"Cause you're pretty."

"Then you aren't learning a thing I'm teaching."

"Well...my heads empty...except for you."

"You are one cheesy bastard." Jimin scoffed and stood up, taking a good look at Jungkook before the two headed to their room.

"It makes you smile." Jungkook picked him up and threw him over his shoulder.

"Ah! Jungkook!"

"Yes?" Jungkook walked them to their bed and flung him, making him bounce once, twice, and then climbed over him. He started to pepper him in kisses.

"Jungkook- I- I still have work to do-"

"Nope. The last thing you need to do is more homework." He kissed his neck, then finally his lips, the two falling into their rhythm.

Jimin finally relaxed, letting Jungkook guide him into relaxation. He was really good at that kind of comfort. As much energy as he had, he was good at calming Jimin and making him recover.

"Shi- Kook!" Jimin glared a little as Jungkook pressed himself against Jimin.

"Hm?" Jungkook smiled wide, his eyes knowing.

"Don't give me that. You better not do anything. We've got to sleep before we get too tired."

"Hey, it'll be the weekend and I kinda wanna be touched by you, I dunno." Jungkook smiled more after seeing Jimin blush. "You...still need a shower don't you."

"I do."

"Ahh, I should've taken one with you." Jungkook flopped beside Jimin. "Damn it."

"No way, you're stinky after dance classes." Jimin leaned over and gave him one more kiss before getting up. "Besides, I take long showers."

"Yeah, but still. I can only hope." Jungkook smiled, imagining as Jimin went to take a shower. He was lost in thought for quite some time.

____

Jungkook was finally able to meet up with Changkyun and his friends after months of preparing it.

The two were waiting for Jimin to pick Jungkook up. "It seems you're doing really good. I'm really happy for you Jungkook." He gave an honest smile, one Jungkook had missed.

"You as well. Everyone really likes having you in their group. Thanks for letting me meet them."

"Oh of course. I mean, you're a whole college experience of a dorm mate, of course you were going to come up."

Jungkook laughed. "I sure am. But hey, at least I get my happy ending."

"Sure as hell you do." He gave him a nudge on the shoulder. "You deserve it."

"You think so?"

"I know so. Hyunwoo was also really happy to find out too, he almost congratulated me for you."

"How sweet." Jungkook smiled and looked at the ground. "It was nice...today was really nice."

"How's it feel?" Changkyun asked carefully.

"Well...you know...I'm sad." Jungkook gave a laugh. "You're used to that."

"A bit, yeah." Changkyun gave an exhale through his nose, almost a laugh. "So...?"

"Well...after he graduates, he's going to move out and go to his internship. The moving out part will be hard on me...and so will the long distance."

"It won't be so bad. You'll make it through."

"I know...it's just...rough. When he went to college first I was distraught, now we're going to be past college and that's real life and wow, I'm so young and I don't want that."

Changkyun laughed. "It's not that bad Kookie. It's kind of nice, actually. There's a certain freedom. And a dance major like you will have a lot of fun working with real people instead of crews. Once you find your group it becomes pure bliss. I promise you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Kookie!~" Jimin's voice pierced the spring air, calling their attention. "Ready to head home?"

"Yeah, I'm ready. I'll see you later Changkyun hyung. You be good."

"Says you. Keep your head on straight."

"Right, school." Jungkook grinned and waved goodbye, walking to Jimin, then with him.

"How was it?"

"It was good. Everyone was nice and Changkyun really was the talker today, it was funny. Everyone being a big eater was great for me. How was your day with Taehyung?"

"He treated me to some clothes and some desserts, and then he decided we had to go to a arcade-like place so we did that too."

"What a cute little date. Did you have fun?"

"Oh it was wonderful. We've been so stressed, and this is our last break before you know..."

"Don't think about it yet, you'll get more stressed." Jungkook gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. "Besides, that sounds like a fun day. You better show off your clothes to me, I love the little twirls and poses you do when you show off clothes."

"Aww, don't flatter me."

"It's true! I love it."

"And why's that?"

"Cause you're cute? I love when you get excited, you're so pretty and happy. When you're happy, I'm happy." Jungkook took Jimin's hand and kissed it, then swung their hands between them.

"You're so sweet to me. Thank you. I'm glad you like my little fashion shows. I did it when I was a kid all the time, my mom encouraged me to express myself."

"I think I remember that. She told me to show off a new sweater I got once."

"She's a sweetheart."

"I should give her a thank you card."

"Why?" Jimin smiled and looked at him in confusion.

"Well, I have to thank her for you, don't I? Besides, she should hear from me. You've told her, right?"

"Oh, of course! She's begging for you to come over the summer."

"Well, I'm sure that can be arranged. I'll be going home too."

"Perfect."

The two got to Jimin's apartment and immediately relaxed. They were finally home.

"Wanna watch something to relax first?"

"Yeah. Let's do that."

They got in more comfortable clothes, washing their faces and brushing their teeth, cleaning the living room then sitting on the couch to watch a movie.

Jimin cuddled up to Jungkook, feeling his warmth and love from the tips of his fingers touching his thigh. He brushed his hand over Jungkook's, the two entwining their fingers.

They watched the movie cuddling, passing the time.

After the movie, Jimin urged Jungkook to see his new clothes.

"Come on~ I'm excited about them again." Jimin sat Jungkook on the bed before grabbing a bag and hiding in the bathroom.

"Jiminie~ you don't have to change in the bathroom, I know what you look like."

"It ruins the outfit! You gotta see the final product."

"Fine, fine, you're right."

"Okay close your eyes."

Jungkook smiled but closed his eyes. "Okay. Ready."

Jimin walked out and smiled. "Okay, you can look now."

Jungkook opened his eyes and watched Jimin do a spin. "Nice! I really like that color on you." Jungkook watched Jimin smile and become shy.

It was like showing himself off. "Thanks. I really like it too." Jimin did another twirl. "Alright next one!"

Jungkook watched him go back in and closed his eyes again, waiting for Jimin to come back out.

"Okay! You can look now." Jimin did a twirl once again, Jungkook smiling wide.

"You look so pretty...Taehyung really treated you to all this?"

"Yeah, he did! I'm going to treat him next time."

"Wow. You really look pretty." Jungkook reached out to pull Jimin closer, but Jimin took a step back.

"Ah, not yet."

"Yet?"

"I've got one more."

"Mmm...fine." Jungkook watched Jimin go back to the bathroom to put on his last outfit.

Jungkook closed his eyes again for Jimin to come out.

"Alright...you can look." Jimin's voice was more quite this time, and when Jungkook opened his eyes he lost his breath.

"Oh Jimin-" Jungkook choked on his saliva, coughing.

"Isn't it pretty?" Jimin smiled shyly and straddled Jungkook's thighs.

"Fuck." Jungkook spoke weakly, carefully putting his hands on Jimin's hips. "You look- you look beyond pretty. Ethereal, I think is the word I'm looking for."

"You think so?"

"Yeah." Jungkook felt his skin heat up, Jimin's hands snaking around his neck and playing with the ends of his hair there.

Jungkook finally had time to process what Jimin was wearing, the lingerie absolutely stunning against him. The top was see through, and the shorts were absolutely too revealing, both a nice blue color. Jungkook simply could not think straight, and so he looked away.

"No, look at me Jungkook."

"I'm...you're too pretty Jiminie."

"I want you to look at me."

"Is this what Taehyung brought you out to do? To find the right outfit to make me crazy?"

Jimin giggled. "Maybe." He grabbed Jungkook's neck and tried to get him to make eye contact. "And I wanted to anyways."

"Y-you wanted to? I thought-" Jungkook cleared his throat and looked at Jimin, desperately trying not to look down. "I thought we said for something special."

"This is special! I got new clothes."

Jungkook laughed. "That's special?"

"Anything can be special. Besides...it was easy to imagine you taking these off of me, so I had to have them." Jimin smiled, watching Jungkook look anywhere but Jimin's eyes after the comment.

"J-Jimin..."

"You go on an on about your thoughts and dreams...I've been listening. So think of it as a gift."

"Fuck, I don't deserve this." Jungkook rubbed Jimin's thighs. "I don't deserve this at all."

"Jungkook, you deserve everything." Jimin tipped Jungkook's chin up with his finger, making them have have contact. "Don't you think?"

"I-I-" Jungkook blushed more by looking at Jimin.

"Shhh. It's okay. You don't have to say anything." Jimin kissed him, rising up a little bit so that Jungkook had to look up to kiss him. Jungkook held his waist, falling backwards onto the bed. Jimin stayed on him, feeling Jungkook's hands move to the back of his thighs, then up his shorts.

Jungkook groaned once Jimin grinded down on his crotch, Jimin slipping his tongue inside. Jungkook whined as Jimin continued, his hands tightening.

"Jimin!" Jungkook gasped out, hot and bothered. "Jimin-"

"Yes?" Jimin smiled, pressing back against Jungkook's hands.

"Fuck, Jimin, you're so pretty, I'm really lost right now-"

"I know. That's why you get to see me."

"Oh god Jimin, you're such a tease. I- what am I supposed to do? You're so- you're so pretty." Jungkook slipped his hands under Jimin's underwear, rubbing his ass. "You've got such nice thighs."

"I've got many nice things."

"Yeah, you're right. Pretty lips, pretty eyes, pretty thighs...you've got the cutest hands..." Jungkook spoke quietly, then groaned. "Fuck."

Jimin smiled wide. "They might be small, but they can do the job."

"T-the job?"

Jimin nodded. "Yeah. They're good at teasing you, and making you smile, and they're really good at making you kiss me."

"I love your hands. I love everything about you."

"Such a hopeless romantic." Jimin tsk'd and kissed him again, this time making sure he grinded against Jungkook's crotch. He got a loud groan in response. "And so very hard at the moment.

"J-Jimin-"

"I want you Jungkook." Jimin lowered his voice, biting at Jungkook's neck. "I want you so badly." Jimin whined and Jungkook lost it.

Jungkook fucking lost it. He grabbed Jimin's ass and sat up just enough to flip them over, then started to take off his sweats, fumbling as he went. He felt Jimin's hands trail his chest, his shirt long forgotten in the kitchen, and shook his head.

"You're the biggest tease I know."

"Good. You deserve to be teased. After everything you've done to me."

"Oh me?" Jungkook scoffed, getting his sweats off then stood up to get supplies. He watched Jimin get more comfortable, still smiling and still in his fucking clothes. "You've been a tease for much longer than I have." He came back and took in the sight once more before taking his shorts off.

Jimin simply grinned. "I meant recently. Since we've been together."

"I've been patient. But vocal." Jungkook slid a hand up Jimin's shirt, shaking his head. "Fuck."

"Mm?"

"You're too fucking...pretty." He gently took it off of him and sighed, leaning down to kiss Jimin's chest. "Too fucking pretty."

"I glad." Jimin smiled and giggled, happy to make Jungkook so bothered. "I want you everywhere."

Jungkook let out a pathetic whine, letting his hands roam over Jimin's thighs, sides, stomach, but mostly thighs. "I want you too. I want you so badly." Jungkook babbled on, kissing and marking as he went. "You have no idea..."

"I think I have a fairly good idea."

"No, you have no idea." Jungkook corrected him, speaking clearly. "I can't express how badly I've wanted this. I simply can't."

"Sorry to make you wait."

"No no, don't apologize. I've- I've been patient."

"And now you get rewarded." Jimin bit his bottom lip. "Let me ride you"

Jungkook choked again. "Jimin!"

"What?" He laughed a little. "There's nothing wrong with that, is there?"

"No, I just- I mean yes, please, I want that." Jungkook couldn't think straight. He was absolutely, incredibly hard, and everything Jimin was saying was going to straight to his dick.

"Good." Jimin nearly whined when Jungkook took off the rest of their clothes, then got the lube and started to prep him. One finger at a time. "Fuck." Jimin cursed quietly under his breath.

"I- I really love you Jimin. I hope you know that. I hope you know that I love you, and that I'll love you forever." Jungkook moaned as Jimin's clenched around him.

"I- I love you too Jungkook. I will always love you." Jimin moaned quietly as Jungkook stretched him out. "Y-you feel really good."

"You feel really good." Jungkook smiled, close to losing it. "I...you...I love being able to feel you." Jungkook winced. "That sounds kind of weird."

"No no...I get it. I...love being able to feel you too." Jimin blushed, but kept his confidence. He had to make Jungkook feel special and spoiled.

Jungkook blushed from the sounds coming from the amount of lube and from Jimin's mouth. He was getting louder and louder as each minute passed by.

"T-that should be good. I think." Jimin huffed out his words, breathy and light.

"You sure? It hasn't been that long Jiminie, I don't want it to hurt you." Jungkook fret.

"I'm sure. Don't worry Jungkook. Okay? Now let me- let me do it okay?" Jimin sat up on his elbows, watching Jungkook nod vigorously.

"Okay." He excitedly switched places with Jimin, energy shooting through him. "You...are the prettiest person I've ever seen. Did you know that?" Jungkook praised Jimin as he put a condom on then lubed him up.

Jungkook helped lower Jimin onto him, the two moaning out as he did. His hands caressed Jimin's hips, thighs, and ass, making sure he didn't move too fast.

"Let me bottom out, I need to feel all of you." Jimin whined, pressing into Jungkook's hands to encourage him to let him do whatever he wanted.

"Go slow angel..." Jungkook nearly begged.

"Why should I?" Jimin raised an eyebrow and continued to fight against Jungkook's hands.

"Jiminie...for yourself?"

"This is for you sweetheart. I wanted to spoil you."

"This is more than I could've imagined." Jungkook let out a squeak as Jimin bottomed out. "M-much more fucking hell." Jungkook moaned, eyes shut tight. He rubbed up and down Jimin's thighs, lost in the feeling.

"I bet I can make it even better." Jimin felt excitement, loving Jungkook's reactions. He would do this anytime just to see Jungkook like this.

Blushing red cheeks, hair messy, lips starting to become swollen, and most importantly...he looked unraveled. Jimin loved it. Jungkook was rarely not put together, and to see him so out of it was so so much fun.

"Y...you're so..." Jungkook couldn't finish his sentence, Jimin starting to move up.

"Hm? What was that?" Jimin teased him, moving slowly.

"J-Jimin." Jungkook choked out a whine, close to whimpering. "Jimin- Jimin you feel so perfect."

"You do Kookie...you look absolutely amazing." Jimin licked his lips, watching Jungkook shift under his gaze. He couldn't keep eye contact as Jimin moved up, then down.

He felt him. Jungkook knew he could go faster, and he knew he was teasing him. "Jiminie...Jiminie m-move faster." Jungkook begged, holding Jimin's hips. "Pl- please, I know you can, please Jimin."

"No." Jimin smiled. He kept moving slowly, loving Jungkook exasperated expressions.

"Jimin- fuck- Jimin please!" He continued to beg, holding Jimin's hips and trying to move him faster. "Please!" He moaned out as Jimin bottomed out again. It was agonizing.

"This'll be humbling, don't worry." Jimin laughed, Jungkook whining.

"Jimin please, I'm begging you please move faster."

"No. This is my show, these are my rules." Jimin watched Jungkook struggle once again to keep his composure.

"...okay." Jimin watched his eyes become serious, so he gave him a smile.

"Such a good boy." Jimin praised him before moving again. Still slowly, and earning a groan from Jungkook.

"Fucking...Jimin, please, please please move, I- I'm losing it." Jungkook laughed in delirium. "I know you're going slow but- but-"

"Nope." Jimin put a finger over Jungkook's lips to shush him. "You'll get what I give."

"Jimin please." Jungkook cried out, hands on Jimin's thighs, squeezing. "Please."

"What're you even begging for?" Jimin smiled wide and laughed. "You're just saying please, but I don't know what you're begging for."

"For- for you!" Jungkook breathed weirdly. "For you to- for you to move more, faster, more, just please, I want more." Jungkook begged over and over.

And Jimin simply watched. "No. I want you to suffer."

"Jimin please. I want to feel you even better, I just want more."

"You can enjoy more another night...but not tonight." Jimin kept his slow pace.

"Why not?" Jungkook nearly wailed, blushing red.

"Cause. I like seeing you like this." Jimin confessed with a playful smile. "I like seeing you so disheveled and whiny. It's cute, and I like how you aren't pushing me at all. You're such a good boy." Jimin watched Jungkook process his words.

"Am...am I supposed to push you?"

"You could." Jimin shrugged. "But it's cute that you won't."

"I- I could?"

Jimin nodded. "Why won't you?"

"Cause? You- you're- you've got to say what's okay and what's not. You know I'd go further. You know I was willing to a while ago."

"So why haven't you?" Jimin quickly bottomed out, making Jungkook moan.

"Fuck. Jimin, I- you- damn it." He tried to focus once more. "We talked about this. I didn't want to push you into something we weren't ready for."

"Well...I was ready." Jimin pouted. "And I think I've got some pent up feelings."

"Oh, do you?" Jungkook raised an eyebrow. "I think I get to play that card."

"Then fuck me."

"Your show...your rules." Jungkook looked at him earnestly, and Jimin couldn't help but coo. "How absolutely vanilla of you."

"I'm- I'm here to support you and your decisions. I'm not going to make any moves, cause...cause you said we should wait."

"Well, I'm done waiting." Jimin huffed and started to move faster, Jungkook gripping his thighs in excitement.

"Fuck! Yes, yes yes, please-" Jungkook babbled and moaned, feeling bliss as Jimin started to bounce on his dick.

Jimin gave moans here and there, mostly focusing on Jungkook's voice. It was exactly what he had wanted; Jungkook losing every thought other than himself. Jimin wanted to be selfish.

"Jimin- Jimin I'm not- I'm close Jimin- I'm-" Jungkook dug his nails into Jimin's thighs as he huffed out his breath, moving under Jimin more and more, as if trying not to buck up.

"Good- good, me too too sweetheart, I'm close too." Jimin moaned as he moved. "You can...you can move your hips."

"I can?" Jungkook nearly whined out his answer.

"Yeah. I'll allow it."

Jungkook started to meet him halfway, absolutely lost in the feeling. The two moaned together, finally coming.

Jungkook tried to come down from his high. "Jimin, you're...you're so..." he was lost in thought, then abruptly let go of Jimin's thighs. "Oh god I'm sorry, I held on really tight, didn't I..."

"You're okay." Jimin slowly pulled off of him with some struggle. "Sorry I came all over your chest."

"What? No, that's hot." Jungkook laughed a little. "But I kinda feel the need to shower again."

"Yeah...might want to clean up..."

"But also...kinda wanna fuck you again. Maybe after some cuddles."

"Clean your chest at least."

"Ahhhhh, okay, fine." Jungkook reluctantly got up and went to the bathroom, getting a towel wet, threw it at Jimin, and then got one for himself and cleaned his chest.

When he came back to the bed, he saw Jimin under the blankets already. "Come, come. I need cuddles."

Jungkook smiled and got under the blankets. "You're so pretty Jimin." He whispered, and Jimin understood how he felt.

What if it was another dream? Another time he was lost in that feeling of loneliness you only get when you're in love. When you're with someone you love but who doesn't love you back.

Jimin could see it in his eyes. "Jungkook. I love you. I love you so much, you know that, right?"

Jungkook nodded. "I do...I'm just..." he swallowed his spit.

Jimin placed a kiss on his nose. "I know. But I promise you, you're not in a coma dreaming all this up. It's real, and I love you. You can't make up my entire being, and here I am." Jimin kissed him on the forehead. "Right here. With you. And I've never been happier."

"You promise?" Jungkook spoke softly, reaching out to hold Jimin.

"I promise." Jimin moved into his embrace. "I love you Jungkook."

"I love you too Jimin." Jungkook kissed his forehead before smiling. Jimin smiled as well.

They slowly started to giggle, then laugh, getting louder and louder until they were both rolling and holding their stomachs.

"Lemme guess." Jimin caught just breath. "You wanna go again?"

Jungkook laughed and nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I do." He smiled wide and immediately kissed Jimin, the two no longer careful. 

Jimin felt so happy. Jungkook wasn't being sad or careful or cautious, he was finally expressing himself to his full extent just for Jimin. Just for him.

And Jungkook couldn't feel any happier. His hands trailed down Jimin's body, feeling his shape, before moving him closer.

"Ah!" They both spoke at the same time, their cocks having touched, then laughed again.

"Sorry sorry, just still a little sensitive." Jimin apologized with a blush.

"No need to apologize. I am too." Jungkook sat up on his elbows to transition to a better angel. He moved on top of Jimin, hovering, then kissed him again, this time purposely sending Jimin into oversensitivity as he softly grinded against him. 

"Kook!" Jimin exclaimed, writhing under him. "Kook- fuck." He exhaled a weak moan, hating how quickly he was turned on.

"Feels good." Jungkook grunted out, barely focusing on his movements, instead focusing on kissing Jimin.

Jimin whined and moved against him to get friction as Jungkook kissed him. "J-Jungkook!-" Jimin gasped out his name, body already warm.

"Yes?"

"Prep me."

"Okay~" Jungkook reached for the lube and condom cheerfully. He poured a gracious amount, then started stretching Jimin's hole.

"Mmm." Jimin moved his legs over Jungkook's shoulders, watching Jungkook blush before kissing his leg. "You like my thighs a lot."

"Well...yeah. They're nice. I like feeling them and being able to kiss them." Jungkook kissed his leg again before pushing a second finger in, this time reaching further.

Jimin shivered. "Ohhhh shit."

Jungkook raised an eyebrow. "Hm?"

"You've got long fingers."

"I guess?"

Jimin smiled a little. "You'll figure it out."

Jungkook pouted at this. "What is it?"

"I'm sure you know somewhere in your brain." Jimin smiled wider.

"Jimin~" Jungkook whined. "What should I know? Will it make you feel good?"

"It would."

"Then tell me?"

"Mmmm...no." Jimin laughed at Jungkook's expression.

"Why not?" He pushed in a third, adding more lube and more pressure. "I want to make you feel as good as possible."

"You'll get there."

Jungkook pouted more, leaning down a little and grabbing Jimin's left thigh to kiss at and mark. Jimin moved under him, Jungkook's fingers curling as he marked. "I want to make you feel good Jimin."

"I won't break."

"Please?"

"I can give you a hint?"

"Yes please."

"Your dick is longer."

Jungkook laughed. "What kind of hint is that?"

"I'm prepped, go on."

Jungkook rolled his eyes with a smile, but did as told. He put a condom on, lubed himself, and carefully pushed in. He watched Jimin exhale and close his eyes. They both took in the feeling, Jungkook bottoming out and resting there.

"Tell me when you're good." Jungkook kissed Jimin softly as he waited.

"Give it a minute." Jimin tried to control his breathing. "You're- you're too sweet for your own good."

"How so? I care about you, therefore I will care for you."

"Mmmm~" Jimin hummed, a small smile against his lips. "Okay. You can move."

"Alright." Jungkook took a big breath before moving slowly out, then slowly in. He couldn't help but blush.

"G-good. You're good. You can move the speed you want to."

"You sure?"

Jimin nodded. "I'm sure."

"Okay..." Jungkook moved a little faster, not wanting to hurt Jimin at all. "Okay. You good?"

"Yeah. Go...you can go faster."

Jungkook twitched with excitement. "You sure?"

"I'm positive. Go faster." Jimin urged him on, making eye contact with intent.

"I- okay. Okay." Jungkook let out a breath and started to move faster, hearing Jimin give small moans. "Good?"

"Better."

"Alright." Jungkook smiled a little before moving a little deeper, gaining a loud gasp from Jimin. "Oh? You good?"

"G-good!" Jimin moved under him, sensitive to his movements. "H-hit it again Jungkook, please." Jimin whined, getting Jungkook to smile.

"Hit what again?" He asked with slight confusion.

"P-prostate." Jimin moaned as Jungkook kept moving.

"Oh." Jungkook blushed more, but was determined to hit his prostate again. Some sick part of him wanted to abuse it, and make Jimin beg, but the more sensible part of him wouldn't hurt Jimin, that is, unless Jimin asked him to do so. Then he wouldn't have a problem.

"Fucking- fucking hit it again." Jimin glared at him.

"Sure thing angel." Jungkook took the time to find his prostate, then started to move quicker to hit it harder.

And by god hearing Jimin moan louder and louder each time was ethereal, music to his ears, and worth every single minute waited. This moment alone was beyond anything he could've ever dreamed up. He could've never created the sounds Jimin was making in his head, and he could've never imagined the way Jimin was trying to grab Jungkook's arms for grounding.

"Jungkook! Jungkook Jungkook, you- mm!~" he shut his mouth, but still moaned. He let his legs drop to Jungkook's waist, then grabbed Jungkook's biceps. He nearly moaned at the touch.

"Yeah?" Jungkook panted as he moved, this kind of workout was different than what he was used to.

"Fuck you."

Jungkook gasped. "What'd I do?"

"Y-you keep- keep hitting it!" Jimin cried out, gripping Jungkook's arm tighter.

"Want me to stop?"

Jimin shook his head, then nodded, then shook his head.

"What's that?" Jungkook continued to hit his prostate, watching Jimin arch his back and cry out once more. "Hm? Use your words."

"Shit!" Jimin tried to speak, his voice only able to moan.

"Need me to stop angel?" Jungkook slowed down, trying not to lose his mind.

"N-no! No! Keep, keep going keep- keep doing it." He whined and whimpered, Jungkook thinking he sounded like a kitten.

"Alright then." Jungkook snapped his hips back in, Jimin going right back to moaning loudly. Jungkook smiled wide, loving the sound, losing his mind, filling it up with Jimin and only Jimin. "I love you Jimin. I love you so much."

Jimin couldn't respond properly, whining and moaning and digging his nails into Jungkook's biceps.

Jimin shut his eyes tight, and Jungkook watched as he moaned his name over and over.

"You're so beautiful hyung, you're so pretty. I love you so much." Jungkook couldn't stop himself from appreciating him, his movements getting sloppy. Exhaustion was hitting him hard.

"C-close!" Jimin managed to get out one word, digging his nails deep before releasing and letting go of Jungkook's biceps.

Jungkook quickly came afterwards, exhaling all his breath. This time he stayed inside Jimin, trying to calm down.

"Jimin..." he peppered his face in kisses, then his lips.

They kissed for a little while, before Jungkook pulled out and tried to clean them up again.

"Jungkook...let's sleep..." Jimin mumbled, reaching out to touch Jungkook as he cleaned them.

"Let me get a clean sheet at least?"

"Mmmm..."

"At least. We can shower in the morning."

"Fine. Fine." Jimin sighed and got up, although he was a little slower than usual.

The two finally got in bed, after washing their chests again, going to the bathroom, and getting a new sheet. They dressed a little, then clung to each other as they slept.

Jungkook kissed him for who knows how long, unable to get over the night.

____

"So...what you're saying is...you fucked Jimin before Namjoon could fuck Jin?" Hoseok and Taehyung shook their heads.

"Hey! In my defense, I'm dull as hell." Namjoon shook his head. "How was I supposed to know what he was hinting at?"

"Love...I never hinted. I told you." Jin shook his head and brought over breakfast to the table. The seven of them salivated seeing it placed. "Take what you want."

"Thank you hyung!" They all spoke in unison, putting servings on their plates.

"Of course. Jimin honey, you doing alright?"

"Oh yeah. My ass kinda hurts, but other than that I'm amazing." He grinned ear to ear, making Jungkook stare at his plate with a blush.

"How can you just say that?" Jungkook murmured, embarrassed that they were discussing their night a week ago.

"What? I'm comfortable saying we had sex."

Taehyung laughed. "It's what you've always wanted Jungkook!"

"Well, yeah, but to announce it is another thing."

"It's been announced! Jimin and Jungkook are officially...no longer virgins." Hoseok dramatically gasped, him and Taehyung laughing.

"And Namjoon hyung! Still is." Yoongi smiled wide, gaining a groan from Namjoon.

"I told you, I'm dull!"

"You'd think with someone as forward as me we'd be further into the relationship." Jin shook his head. "But hey, to us! For holding out." Jin gave Jungkook a wink, and Jungkook gave him a smile.

"To us!"

_____
Hey! We hit 150K! That's pretty cool! I'm still working on requests, so don't worry, there's more stories to come! Tell me if you liked the length cause I put a lot of time into this 💜
Thank you all!
Munch 💜