In which Jungkook and Jimin meet only during winter break year after year, always looking forward to one another but never brave enough to meet at any other time.

And, in which, I say goodbye.

37,100 words.

____

Jimin packed his bag, getting ready for his mother to pick him up. He was excited to get a break from school, his third year of college difficult but fun. He really wanted to relax and get that small break before the rest of the school year, wanted to relax and drink hot chocolate, sleep under warm blankets, watch old romance movies where everyone has a happy ending and makes you cry, he wanted to watch the snow fall and look outside at the beauty of the world.

Jimin loved winter. He loved how it felt, he loved watching couples express happiness together down the street, how every normal thing became romantic simply because of the time of year. Christmas made things special. Snow wasn't special until it fell delicately upon lovers. Making a meal isn't special unless you make it with love. Walking alone wasn't a task when it was shared with a lover.

Jimin couldn't help it.

He was a romantic. He was a hopeless romantic who wanted to share every part of a typical relationship with someone. He loved winter, he loved Christmas. But it did always make him sad, to know that he couldn't experience that yet. No morning kisses, no cuddling, no walks in the morning to get coffee together, no late night talks about the future, no dates, no partner.

Yet.

Jimin had hope. He wanted to experience all of it and he would. He promised himself that he would so he would.

He finished packing, looking around the room, making sure he got everything before nodding and exhaling.

He was ready to go!

He waited for his mother to text him before he went down to their pickup spot, Jimin happily getting in the car. "Hi mom!"

"Hello my beautiful boy." She smiled back. "Ready to go?"

"Yes!"

Jimin happily spoke with his mother, getting ready to experience winter at the vacation house. He just loved it.

And he was excited to see his friend again.

"So! What's first on the list?" They arrived at his house, Jimin bringing his things into his room.

"First?" Jimin thought about it. "First...we need to bake something." He nodded and smiled. "And we need to play some Christmas music."

Jimin made cookies, excited to spend his time here. He continued to check the time and look out the kitchen window.

"Worried about something?"

"No, just waiting for someone." Jimin smiled.

"Ah, that boy? Is he back too?"

"Dunno. He's always around this time, I think he's here before me." Jimin kept glancing. He put a couple cookies in a napkin, tying it with a bow.

"I like seeing him around."

"Me too." Jimin smiled. He smiled wider when he saw Jungkook walking down the sidewalk, this time, with a dog. "Okay! I'm going to go say hi to him."

"Invite him inside if he wants to." His mother smiled and went into the garage for more ingredients.

Jimin put on a heavier coat before putting the wrapped cookies in his pocket, heading out.

"Hey!" Jimin waved to him as he headed out to him.

Jungkook looked at him in confusion before his eyes brightened. "Hey! Jimin! You're back!" He ran over to him, smiling happily. "How've you been?"

"I've been good!" Jimin smiled back as he came over. Jimin cooed as he kneeled. "Awww, is he new? I love your dog! Can I pet him?"

"Mhm! He is new. Mom didn't want us to leave him during our trip here. How's college?" Jungkook met Jimin's eyes. They were still so beautiful to Jimin. So beautiful. He loved how they looked in winter, though, that was the only time he'd ever seen them.

"It's good! It's good. It's busy." Jimin laughed. "It's hard." He looked at the dog, petting him.

"I see." Jungkook smiled. "Well. I'm glad to see you here. Can we...get dinner some night?"

"Yeah." Jimin smiled. "Wanna come over?"

"Ah, I can't, not with Bam. He's still in training." Jungkook smiled, petting his dog.

"Ah." Jimin stood. "Another time then. But here." Jimin handed him the treats. "It's good to see you again. Same holiday house?"

"Yep. Same for you too I see."

"Perfect. I'm free tomorrow." Jimin felt Jungkook take the treats, their hands both lingering just to feel one another's heat. Jimin watched their hands leave before looking at Jungkook.

"M-me too." Jungkook looked at him, having stared at their hands for a little longer before looking back down. "Thank you."

"Of course." Jimin hummed. "So. Dinner tomorrow...I can't wait to catch up." Jimin put his finger under Jungkook's chin, lifting it for him. "Is it on you or me?"

"M-me."

"You sure?" Jimin raised an eyebrow. "Maybe I should, to celebrate you graduating high school."

"Oh no, the celebration of seeing you again is much greater than me getting out of high school."

"If you say so." Jimin let go of him. "Well. I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yes." Jungkook nodded. "You will. I'll pick you up around...6? Does that work?"

"Works for me." Jimin smiled. "Have a good night."

"I will now, thank you. You too hyung." Jungkook smiled back.

Jimin walked back inside, waving goodbye to Jungkook as he did so. He smiled to himself, happy to see Jungkook once again.

They saw each other for only three weeks of a  year, both of their families in the same area for winter break. They'd met the first time on accident, a festival being held for New Years, both their families going. Jimin bumped into him, apologized profusely for knocking Jungkook's food out of his hand and onto the ground, and wouldn't take no as an answer when he forced Jungkook to let him buy him another one.

They'd stuck around each other after that, trading numbers, talking every night. After the three weeks, the two never spoke. It was just this time that was special.

So special. It only took a couple years for the both of them to have an affinity for one another. They were only two years apart, and Jimin had been considerate. He let Jungkook lead, and if he was too nervous, they wouldn't do anything. But Jungkook's parents went out a lot, and Jimin went over to his place a lot.

These three weeks were special. These three weeks he realized how much he fucking loved being loved, and it didn't help that Jungkook was perfectly his type and absolutely so kind and gentle with him. Especially afterwards, Jungkook was always kind.

Jimin still believed in love.

He just didn't know if it was meant for him. There were plenty of people who couldn't put up with him, plenty who stopped being his friend, plenty who noticed that he cared about his work and future more than anything else.

So it was fine that he only had three weeks a year with Jungkook. They could say anything and everything and it wouldn't be rude when they said goodbye.

Even if it was his favorite three weeks of the year. It's not like either of them hinted at moving this towards anything more. Both of them were too scared to do that, to bring it up, to try it, he knew that. They both knew that.

Jimin closed the door softly as he got back into his house.

"No Jungkook?"

"Nope. I'm going out with him tomorrow night though, he's busy today."

"Alright, but are you sure you don't want to check out the area? This is our vacation home for a reason. To relax and have fun."

"I'm having fun mom." Jimin smiled. "I know I just got back, but I want to hang out with Jungkook!"

"Alright! Alright." She laughed. "Tell him to come over when he can."

"Sure. I'm almost positive he'd love a meal."

"His family too."

"Oh?" Jimin looked at her, smiling. This was a first.

"Well..." she smiled. "You're with him so much, we might as well get to know his family better. I used to know all of your friends families."

"That's true." Jimin nodded. Maybe he could spend more time with Jungkook this year. "I'd like that. I'll ask tomorrow."

Jimin helped his mother prep more Christmas decorations before his father came home, the three then making dinner before Jimin went to bed, exhausted.

He'd had a busy day and he was looking forward to tomorrow.

Jungkook (22:45)
Same as usual?

Jimin (22:56)
Same as usual

____

Jimin got ready for his night with Jungkook. He avoided his makeup, too scared to wear any around his parents, and opted for a big coat over his clothes for his parents not to see.

He wished he could feel okay wearing what he wanted around his house, but he just couldn't yet.

He wouldn't be able to say anything about his relationship with Jungkook either, so...dinner it was.

Jungkook picked him up. "Oh wow, you got the car?" Jimin smiled as Jungkook walked him to the car, opening the door for him.

"Mhm! They wanted me to practice driving so it's my car actually." Jungkook got in after him. "So. Where to?"

"Wherever. Take me anywhere. I want to hear your voice." Jimin smiled at him.

"You mind the cold?" Jungkook smiled back at him. "What's with the jacket?"

"Oh! I had to put up an appearance." Jimin happily took his coat off, putting it by his feet. "So. Anywhere. I don't mind the cold."

"Perfect. We'll go somewhere beautiful." Jungkook smiled and opened the skylight in his car, starting to drive. "You look amazing hyung."

"Thank you. I didn't expect you to wear something so open in front of my parents." Jimin teased him. "Unbuttoning your dress shirts now? No more ties?"

"I'm an adult now. I want to look enticing." Jungkook laughed. "And one day I'll look even cooler."

"Cool, mhm. You're cute Jungkook, not cool." Jimin laughed.

"Not true! I'm cool!" Jungkook scoffed, offended. "You don't think I'm cool?"

"You're cute. Really really cute." Jimin hummed, smiling at him. He looked over him. "...but it's been a year. Maybe you've...maybe you aren't quite so babyish." He blushed very lightly as he saw Jungkook's chest. "...you bulked up..."

"I did hyung. I did." Jungkook glanced at him. "And I really think you'll like what you'll see."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mhm. I already like...I...already like what I see." Jungkook cleared his throat. "You're pretty."

"Thank you." Jimin smiled. He liked how Jungkook tried to be honest, but was still embarrassed about it. It made him feel in control of the situation, letting him have the responsibility of being older. "You've, I'll be honest, gotten more handsome. Still cute! But...very handsome."

"Thank you hyung." Jungkook blushed.

They spoke of other things as Jungkook drove, school, new hobbies, their plans, the season.

"I love winter. I love the snow."

"I'm glad it isn't too bad today." Jungkook glanced up. "It'll be good."

"Where're you taking me?" Jimin titled his head, curious, looking at him.

"Somewhere beautiful. That's all." Jungkook smiled at him. "I want you to see something beautiful."

Jimin sighed in content. "I'm already looking at something beautiful."

"Oh." Jungkook blushed and shut up.

Jimin laughed, staring at him happily.

They finally arrived, Jungkook parking. "Okay okay, get out the skylight, I'll help you up."

"Oh?" Jimin unbuckled, turning around in his chair to start getting up. They struggled, but eventually got up, sitting on the top of the car, their legs dangling from the skylight. "Oh."

"Yeah. Isn't it lovely? I read about it online, I thought we'd try it out." Jungkook glanced at him with a smile, before he slowly took Jimin's hand.

Jimin smiled to himself. So Jungkook thought about him outside of these three weeks? "I love it."

"Good."

They both leaned back, looking up at the stars together. "Wow...this is lovely."

"I wanted to experience it with you. Thought you'd like it. Thought it be uh...far enough away." Jungkook licked his lips and pursed them, obviously anxious.

"Awww, why are you nervous?" Jimin laughed, looking at him. Jungkook looked at him too. His eyes were bright. "It's not like it's the first time."

"Or the last." Jungkook quickly spoke.

Jimin smiled. "Or the last. So why are you nervous?"

"Well...I...cause I'm an adult now."

"Mhm. Nothing changes, right?" Jimin looked back at the stars. "It's not like it's the first time."

"...or the last." Jungkook sat up on his elbow, his hand tentatively going to Jimin's waist. "Feels different this year."

"It's not so different. I'm still me. You're still you. Did you murder anyone this year?" Jimin teased.

"No." Jungkook laughed. "I didn't."

"Then nothing's different." Jimin laughed a little too. "Besides." Jimin slowly sat up on his elbows as well, their hands closest to one another still together, Jimin using his free one to take Jungkook's hand on his waist and putting it slowly against his chest. "I don't want you to be nervous."

Jungkook blushed as Jimin made his hand run down his chest. "Ah...you're beautiful you know. You really like teasing me."

"I do. I know you like how I look with my buttons undone. Did you learn from me?" Jimin teased him further, letting Jungkook touch his chest before reaching for Jungkook's chest. He circled a finger over Jungkook's exposed skin. "It's getting kinda cold, we should warm up, don't you think?"

"Y-yeah." Jungkook whispered.

Jimin looked at him with a smile. "Unless you don't want to."

"I didn't bring you out here not too." Jungkook laughed. "I want to."

"Yes?"

"Yes." Jungkook nodded. "I do. I missed you hyung..." he slowly moved closer to Jimin.

"I missed you too." Jimin ran his hand up Jungkook's chest to his chin, grabbing it kindly. "You still alright with kisses?"

"Yeah. Absolutely." Jungkook laughed a little, his eyes trailing Jimin's face. "You?"

"Nothings changed." Jimin waited for Jungkook to make the first move, which he did.

Jungkook leaned in, kissing him softly, so softly, so carefully, as Jimin held his chin. Jungkook was being kind, his hand still holding Jimin's, his other holding Jimin's waist delicately. He thumbed over Jimin's hip bone, circling it with care.

Jimin still believed in love.

Jungkook kissed him with such care, such kindness, such soft, sweet tenderness that Jimin could cry. He could, and he would've, if Jungkook's thumb hadn't started to trail inside his waistband, slowly pushing it down.

"Hyung." Jungkook spoke softly.

"Mmm?" Jimin was dazed, Jungkook's eyes all he could really look at.

"Let's get inside."

"Right." Jimin smiled at him before they sat up, looking at the stars one more time.

"They'll be there afterwards too." Jungkook blushed, not wanting to rush him, but definitely looking forward to it.

"Yeah. Let's warm up." Jimin looked over him again as they started to move back inside the car.

Jungkook had grown. From 17 to 18, Jungkook had grown. He was taller, sharper, his muscles and face were defined, but his hands were still as kind as ever as they held Jimin's waist, helping him down into the car.

"Good?" Jungkook looked at him with the same look as ever. He closed the skylight.

"Yeah." Jimin melted into a smile. Jungkook's care was still as soft as ever as they settled into the backseat. "Yeah, I'm good."

Jimin slowly sat on Jungkook's lap, straddling him. He caressed Jungkook's face, trailing his cheeks with his fingertips, kissing where he touched as he went.

"Hyung...isn't it nice?" Jungkook held Jimin's waist, thumbing over his hip bones slowly, sensually.

"Hm?"

"Isn't it nice? Just...this. Here." Jungkook closed his eyes, letting Jimin touch his face and kiss him.

"Yeah. It's really nice."

"Hyung?"

"Yes?"

"Why can't we do this...not here?" Jungkook asked quietly, before opening his eyes, looking at Jimin. "Why are you so far away?"

"Far away?" Jimin tried to reassure him, kissing his forehead. "I'm right here."

Jungkook pursed his lips and nodded. "Yeah. Right." Jungkook felt a little bad, but he knew they weren't supposed to question it. He knew that wasn't what they did, they didn't take this outside of the three weeks. Jungkook just...maybe he wanted to. "You're right here."

"Mhm." Jimin nodded. "Right here." He trailed Jungkook's jaw, before putting his arms around Jungkook's neck. He pecked his lips. "It's not safe out there Jungkook. I want to take care of you."

"I know." Jungkook smiled at him. "But I..." he faltered, knowing he was crossing their line. "I just want you."

"And you can have me." Jimin played with the ends of Jungkook's hair, smiling back, tilting his head a little. "Just safely."

"Okay." Jungkook hooked his thumbs in Jimin's waistband. "Safely."

"Is this why you got a car?" Jimin massaged the nape of Jungkook's neck. "Did you think about undressing me back here?" He leaned closer to Jungkooks ear. "Did you make sure there was enough room when you picked it out?"

Jungkook blushed. "N-no, it was a g-gift."

"Mmmm, mhm. But did you think about it?" Jimin whispered, looking at Jungkook's cheeks redden.

"I- I mean, I wouldn't say I didn't." Jungkook mumbled, turning away from Jimin a little. "I...I didn't...immediately think about it."

"Mmm~ so sweet." Jimin bit his earlobe, scraping it. "How'd a sweet boy like you get involved with me?"

"How'd a sweet boy like you get me involved?" Jungkook smiled a little, blushing at the feeling.

"You were the one who went for me." Jimin went to his neck, kissing and licking.

Jungkook shivered. "I- I might have. You convinced me to."

"I did no such thing." Jimin smiled a little, careful not to leave a mark.

"Hyung, you flirted with me so much that I couldn't ignore it." Jungkook laughed a little. "How was I supposed to ignore you if you actively made me assume you were flirting?"

"Well...you weren't supposed to ignore me." Jimin gnawed on his skin a little. "...maybe I was flirting."

"Maybe." Jungkook laughed in disbelief. "That wasn't a maybe. You don't fucking giggle and flutter your eyelashes at just anyone. And you sure as hell don't touch their thighs just to be friendly."

"I like contact, what can I say!" Jimin sat up, feigning innocence.

"Yeah? Contact is touching someone arm for a second not...not..." Jungkook blushed. "Not leading me on."

"Ah, so it's still stuck in your mind, hm?" Jimin smiled at him, his hands going to Jungkook's shirt. "Was I too obvious? You were obvious. I was just returning the favor."

"I- I really- I just really liked you." Jungkook sighed, defeated. "I wanted you to look at me..."

"Oh I looked. But I needed you to make the first move." Jimin unbuttoned Jungkook's shirt slowly. "I needed to be considerate."

"We're only two years apart hyung." Jungkook blushed. "I...I was just...I should've been more polite."

"It was cute. I didn't think you'd break like that." Jimin laughed, remembering their first encounter pushing past the line of friendship. "You were so cute, stumbling and stuttering."

"I couldn't look away." Jungkook stared at Jimin. "I still can't."

"Oh you really couldn't. I didn't know you were coming over yet." Jimin giggled.

"Your mother let me in before leaving, I thought you were ready to go..." Jungkook sighed. "I didn't know you were still changing your clothes, why do you change your clothes like that?" Jungkook blushed, looking up. "I wasn't expecting it...you were practically naked, I was stupidly attracted to you, what was I supposed to do?"

"Oh no, you did exactly what I might've done. I don't blame you." Jimin smiled, pushing Jungkook's shirt off his shoulders. "I was just surprised was all, I didn't expect you to push me into the bed and kiss me. You were so brave then, why's it gone now?" He teased him.

"Cause I wanna hear you talk more. I missed your voice, it's so beautiful." Jungkook smiled a little, shy to say it. "As much as I love hearing you moan, I love when you talk more. I love your voice. It's beautiful."

Jimin blushed. "Oh."

"Mmm." Jungkook went to Jimin's pants zipper, unbuttoning and unzipping. "I don't say it enough, do I?"

"N-no." Jimin was pink. "You don't. Do I say how much I love your eyes enough?"

"No. Not enough." Jungkook blushed too. "You're beautiful Jimin. Beautiful."

"God, you're perfect." Jimin had enough, kissing Jungkook rougher than before. He was a fool when it came to compliments, a blind food who wanted to experience love, or whatever that word meant. What did it mean? Was it this? Was it more? Was- he kept kissing Jungkook, trying to drown out his own insecurities.

Jungkook helped Jimin out of his pants, the two never letting go of their kiss. Jimin sat up on his knees, finally letting go of the kiss by biting Jungkook's lip. "Hey." Jungkook held his waist, rubbing softly. "How are you?"

"How am I? I'm good now. I'm better now. You're here, so of course I'm doing well."

"Before now." Jungkook looked up at him, eyes wide. Jimin watched his pupils dilate, making him blush.

"S-save it for another date." Jimin blushed more when Jungkook's thumbs hooked inside Jimin's boxers. "Jungkook."

"Hyung." Jungkook smiled. "Something wrong?"

"No, no, you're good." Jimin slowly sat down on Jungkook's thighs. "I'm just...I missed you." Jimin blushed more. "I missed how happy you are. I missed um...I missed how happy I make you."

Jungkook grinned. "So you do notice?"

"I can't help but notice. Not when you're always obvious." Jimin laughed a little. "You're so easy to read, I'm sorry."

"No, that's okay. I want to be obvious for you. I just want you to...understand." Jungkook laughed too. "You're just beautiful."

"Thank you." Jimin blushed. "I love how you do that. When did you get so..."

"I missed you. That's all." Jungkook kept his smile. "I can't help but be intoxicated by you, I want you to feel good."

"Yeah?" Jimin smiled. "How so?"

"Any way you want." Jungkook pulled Jimin's waistband away from his waist before letting it snap back.

"Ah!" Jimin jumped. "D-don't do that."

Jungkook laughed. "Sorry, sorry." He didn't seem apologetic. "It's just cute how you react."

"I'd be a lot cuter if you'd-"

"Hold on, Jimin-"

"If you'd just get some clothes off-"

"Jimin-" Jungkook blushed.

"And maybe if we laid down, that might help." Jimin continued, watching Jungkook become more and more embarrassed. "Why? Why are you reacting like this?"

"C-cause..." Jungkook sighed in embarrassment. "...cause...I'm 18 now..."

"Why's that change things?"

"Cause...we can do more now."

"We've gone all the way before, tell me what you mean?" Jimin pouted a little, Jungkook glancing at his lips.

"I- I mean- I mean we just- I-" Jungkook sighed. "I missed you."

"Me? Or my ass." Jimin laughed as Jungkook blushed deeper.

"N-no! Of course you. It's just different this year." Jungkook sighed again. "It's just different."

"How come?"

"I don't know. I feel older. Feels different. I feel different." Jungkook rubbed Jimin's thighs affectionately.

"You feel different?" Jimin titled his head, concerned.

"I feel different."

"How so?"

"It's different now. There's something different, it's not- it's- I feel like we could- this could be-" Jungkook stuttered. "I want..."

"Jungkook." Jimin sighed. "No. Not outside of this."

"But I'm an adult now." Jungkook sighed too. "Isn't that enough?"

"Do you think it is? I love being around you Jungkook. But...after these three weeks...there's no way we'd actually see each other. I don't want to hurt you."

"Hyung, we...this is...more for me." Jungkook looked at him hopefully. "I'm old enough now. This isn't playing around anymore."

"I'm not playing around either..." Jimin looked at him sadly. "I just want to feel happy with you during these three weeks Jungkook."

"I want to feel happy with you outside of these three weeks." Jungkook slowly rested his head on Jimin's shoulder. "Hug you. Kiss you. Hold you, feed you, drive you around town, see the lights, see the stars, see the beach. I want to..."

"I want us to be safe." Jimin rubbed Jungkook's back. "And you're hugging me now. You're kissing me. You're holding me. You drove me, we're looking at the stars. These three weeks...we can do what we want in these three weeks. That's safe."

"Why are you scared?"

"Why aren't you?" Jimin sighed, trying to be comfort him, but explain. "We're young...I don't want you to get hurt. And I mean hurt physically. I don't want us to be scared to hold each other in public. I don't want to be afraid."

"Hyung..."

"Your safety is more important than my feelings." Jimin kept rubbing his back. "So...I want to be happy with you during these three weeks."

"We really wouldn't be okay out there compared to here?" Jungkook frowned.

"Listen to yourself. It's out there and in here. It's different. This is safe. Out there...isn't."

Jungkook held him closer. "So it's not different for you." His voice broke, obviously shattered by the information.

"...I didn't say that..." Jimin whispered. "I said we need to be safe."

"Hyung."

"Jungkook."

"I'm sorry. I just thought- I just thought since I'm an adult now- I thought- well I guess I thought my age was the problem." Jungkook laughed a little in embarrassment, pulling away from him a little. "I didn't think about anything other than you."

Jimin blushed. "...you're shameless. You aren't even trying and you're flirting."

"I just really like you." Jungkook laughed, rubbing Jimin's thighs. "I like you a lot."

"No pretty girl has caught your eye?" Jimin teased him, liking the domestic feeling of them together so casually. He wanted this in a house.

"Nope. Only a pretty boy. Don't really like girls." Jungkook shrugged. "Or maybe I just really like this one guy."

"Mmmm~ yeah? Just one guy?" Jimin smiled at him, playing with his hair.

"Yeah, see, there's this really pretty guy, couple years older than me...and not only is he kind, but he's really considerate, even willing to let me top even though I'm younger." Jungkook teased him back.

Jimin blushed. "W-well! He must be very nice then." He didn't think Jungkook would be forward like that. "How um, how do you treat him?"

"So well. I'd treat him even better if I could. He won't let me though." Jungkook pouted, looking at him with wide eyes. "How should I convince him to let me treat him better?"

"I'm not sure." Jimin was pink. "This boy of yours seems uncertain."

"So what should I do?" Jungkook tilted his head. "Kiss him more? Touch him more? Should I take him on more dates, hear him talk more, talk to him more?"

"Why not all of the above?" Jimin smiled and leaned closer.

"Mmmm, alright. I see." Jungkook ran his hands up Jimin's thighs to his ass, then back to his thighs. He kept that rhythm. "What if I want him to kiss me though?"

"Then just ask." Jimin leaned forward and kissed him, his hands raking into Jungkook's hair, holding him tenderly. Jungkook's hands left Jimin, going to his own belt and pants. "Ah-"

"Do you still want to?"

"I..." Jimin looked at Jungkook with worry, before melting into a smile. "Yes. I do."

They certainly warmed up, Jimin "letting" Jungkook top once again. The car was a little uncomfortable, but they made it work.

They both panted as they tried to calm down, Jimin unable to get rid of his blush, watching Jungkook's chest rise and fall above him, his shape so much different from last year. He was so...fit. He had so much muscle now, his concentrated face was so handsome, as his eyebrows were knit together, panting a little to catch his breath.

"You good?" Jungkook looked over him, his serious eyes making Jimin nod, feeling small. "You sure?"

Jimin nodded again, embarrassed.

Jungkook had a lot more strength now. He could go a lot harder than before.

"...you sure?" Jungkook looked at him with more concern than before, though still serious.

Jimin nodded again. "...I'm sure..."

"You okay?" Jungkook repositioned his weight so he could lean down and kiss Jimin's forehead. "You look scared."

"No no, I'm..." Jimin felt shy. "I'm embarrassed. You made...you've um, you've grown a lot. And it um...you look really handsome and it makes me...bashful."

"Bashful." Jungkook looked at him in confusion. "You weren't shy ten minutes ago."

"That's because I wasn't just staring at you. But now that I am...I can't help but..." Jimin sighed in embarrassment, looking away. "You got better."

"Oh thank fucking god." Jungkook laughed. "How much better?"

"A lot."

"Good! Is that why you came so fast-"

"Shut up!" Jimin blushed red. "You'll get more of an ego, which you don't need!"

"Oh I need it. I need validation from you hyung." Jungkook laughed again. "I got that much better? I guess I've gotten stronger. Did you feel good? Really good?" Jungkook leaned down and kissed his chest, over and over and over, laughing when Jimin didn't respond. "You're so cute! Just say it, it'll make me feel good."

"No! No way, I won't say it!" Jimin wouldn't look at him.

"But I want to know if I did well! The windows got steamy, that must mean something. But I won't know how I made you feel if you don't say anything." Jungkook kept kissing his chest. "Tell me when to pull out."

"...shut up." Jimin put his hands on Jungkook's biceps. "...and soon, give me a second or two."

"Mk. Let me know though hyung, I gotta know how I actually make you feel." Jungkook smiled. "I'll take feedback."

"Feedback huh." Jimin sighed heavily. "Well, it felt fucking good, better than um, than last year...and...you've gotten better at...fingering." Jimin blushed red.

Jungkook chuckled. "Oh hyung...I look forward to our three weeks together. This is the only time I get to see if I'm any good, so I'm glad that you enjoy yourself."

"Mmm. You can pull out now." Jimin whispered, burning with embarrassment.

Jungkook pulled out, helping them clean up before getting some clothes on them, then inviting Jimin into his lap. He held him, rubbing his back as they calmed down. "You good?"

"Mmm." Jimin closed his eyes and let Jungkook care for him. He loved how he rubbed his back, his thighs, his waist. It felt so natural, so calming, so warm. "Yeah. I'm good. Just...happy."

"Me too." Jungkook rubbed his back, letting Jimin rest against his chest. "I'm so glad you're back."

"I'm glad you're back."

"Every year."

"Exactly. Every year. So. Tell me the things my mother is going to ask." Jimin calmed himself, simply just taking in Jungkook's scent and strong arms holding him.

"Turned 18, I'm not going to college, I'm working with my parents, I got a dog, got a car, and I'm doing well. What about you?" Jungkook drew circles on his back.

"Mmm, third year of college, it's really tough and I'm so sore all the time. I'm not working, I'm focusing on school, and I'm happy for the rest here. Christmas is my favorite." Jimin sighed happily.

"Mmm." Jungkook held Jimin a little tighter, looking down at him. "...it's my favorite too."

"Yeah? Why's it yours?" Jimin looked up at him.

"...cause you love it." Jungkook blushed a little, as he looked at Jimin's puppy like eyes.

"Really?" Jimin felt his chest tighten.

"Yeah." Jungkook blushed more, watching Jimin's reaction. He looked shocked, but so so happy. "Really. I like how you talk about winter and Christmas. It makes me like it more."

"Oh. That's really sweet of you." Jimin blushed pink. "I just like how it feels. The season is just...filled with love and good memories."

"That's cause you make good memories happen." Jungkook smiled at him. "You've always made good memories happen."

"Yeah? What's your favorite memory with me?" Jimin nestled back into Jungkook's chest.

"Mmmm...I think...maybe our first meeting. And maybe...maybe when we watched a movie at your place."

"Really?" Jimin was surprised. "That simple? I've taken you on fancy dates."

"Yeah. Our first meeting really let me trust you. And our movie date at your house let me drop my walls. That's more important." Jungkook laughed. "I've taken you on so many dates but how you treat me when we're like this...that's what I remember."

"Warmth." Jimin spoke quietly.

"Yes." Jungkook agreed heartily. "Warmth. I trust you."

"You're a sweetheart." Jimin softly curled into Jungkook. "...mom wants you over for dinner sometimes soon. With your family."

"Oh! Perfect! Tell me what day, we'll come. They all like your family, they think you guys are really kind. Oh fuck, and your desserts are amazing."

Jimin laughed. "Did you like your treats?"

"Yeah, they were delicious." Jungkook kissed Jimin's head. "You too."

Jimin blushed. "Hey, come on."

"What? I love-" Jungkook stopped himself, blushing. "Never mind. I was going to say something very embarrassing."

"Oh no, please continue." Jimin teased him.

"No it's okay! I'm good!" Jungkook laughed as his cheeks heated up. "Never mind!"

Jimin laughed. "What's so embarrassing about loving how I taste?"

Jungkook blushed red. "C-c-cause- cause it's embarrassing to s-say." He felt himself become shy.

"No, I think it's nice. If you wanna try tasting more of me next time, well, I won't stop you." Jimin teased him further, comfortable enough to do so.

Jungkook couldn't respond, too shocked.

Jimin laughed again. "Cute."

They stayed like that for a little longer, before they noticed the time.

"Ahhhhh, no." Jungkook lamented. "I have to head back."

"Me too." Jimin sighed. "Don't want mom to be suspicious. But it's the first night together, don't you think they'll just assume we're catching up from the year? We can...we can spend more time together."

"You're just comfortable." Jungkook laughed a little. "I mean, I am too."

"It's warm, you're cuddly, I'm cuddly...you brought a blanket. And pillows. Why would I want to leave?"

"I didn't want you to leave." Jungkook laughed again. "Never really want you to leave."

Jimin looked up at Jungkook before looking through the skylight. "Me neither. You know...one day...I'm gunna be just like one of those stars in the sky." Jimin laughed a little, shy to share, but wanting to say his dreams. "I'll be up there with the other stars. I'll be so amazing, so wonderful, so good...I'll make it up there."

Jungkook kissed his head. "You will. And I'll watch you do it."

"What about you Jungkook? What will you do?"

"I don't know hyung." Jungkook shrugged. "I'm not really built to be a worker."

"Mmm, maybe just not your current job. Maybe a different job." Jimin reassured him, looking at him and kissing his cheek. "You'll figure it out, you'll find it."

"You think so?"

"Yeah." Jimin nodded. "I really think so."

"Mmm." Jungkook hummed. "Okay. I trust you."

"You will find something." Jimin laughed a little. "You've always been talented at everything you do. Don't you know that?"

"I...I mean...I don't know." Jungkook shrugged. "I guess so. I haven't really...tried much."

"Well now's a perfect time. You're not going to college, you're working...try things out." Jimin reassured him again. "I'm a bad example. I knew what I wanted to do since I was a kid. But most people don't know until much later."

"Yeah. You're right." Jungkook smiled a little. "Okay. We really need to head home now, my parents are going to worry."

"Ahhh, no." Jimin whined, complaining. "I don't want to." He hugged him tighter. "...I don't want to..."

Jungkook laughed. "I know. But we can see each other tomorrow. Maybe we can have dinner together soon. You have my number..."

"I do." Jimin nodded. "But I'm so comfortable here."

"I know." Jungkook rubbed his back. "But we've gotta go."

"I know." Jimin pouted. "I just wish we could stay."

"...me too." Jungkook nodded. "Alright come on." Jungkook made them sit up more, Jimin whining but doing so as well.

They got back in the front seats, both of them a little sad.

"...it's fine. You know. It's fine." Jimin spoke first. "We have these three weeks."

"Three weeks..." Jungkook sighed as he started to drive them home. "I want more time with you."

"I wish we could." Jimin nodded. "But three weeks is good too."

"Better than nothing." Jungkook sighed again. "Yeah."

Jimin felt a little bad about it, but he was going to do everything to keep Jungkook safe. Anything. He was going to keep Jungkook safe, that was his job as the older in this situation.

He knew Jungkook was young, but he was now old enough to consider what a relationship looks like, what it should be. He was old enough to know that what they were doing was questionable. It wasn't like Jimin had forced him into this, it wasn't Jimin's fault. He had to remind himself of that, he had to remind himself that Jungkook chose this.

He had to remember that there was nothing to feel guilty about.

But he felt bad. He couldn't help it.

As much as he really enjoyed being with Jungkook, it wasn't safe, it wasn't natural, it wasn't okay. And he had to remind himself of that too.

"You okay hyung?"

"Yeah." Jimin buttoned his shirt back up. "Yeah I'm okay. Are you?"

"Yeah, I'm great." Jungkook looked at him and smiled. "You're one of my favorite people."

"Oh! Really?"

"Mhm! You make me feel better about myself." Jungkook watched the road, but Jimin could tell that he was trying to make him feel better.

Jimin sighed with a smile. "You're cute. Really. But I'm okay."

"You don't look it." Jungkook pouted. "...do I make you sad?"

"What?! No!" Jimin looked at him, appalled by the idea. "What made you think that? You don't make me sad, you make me happier than- than I feel the rest of the year." Jimin really tried to reassure him. "I mean that."

"Then why are you sad?" Jungkook kept his pout. "Did I actually not do as good as you said?"

Jimin laughed before clearing his throat, blushing. "Is that what you're worried about?"

"Then why are you sad?!" Jungkook questioned him, obviously distressed.

"I'm...just thinking. And don't feel insecure, you did do good." Jimin blushed a little.

"...what're you thinking about?" Jungkook slowly moved a hand to Jimin's thigh.

Jimin smiled to himself. "You."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm. You had to have tried driving with one hand for this. You had to practice this." Jimin blushed a little, trying to embarrass Jungkook.

"I did." Jungkook blushed, but kept his eyes on the road. "Besides...I though it would come in handy one day."

"Mmmm~ I see." Jimin laughed again. "So me."

"...maybe." Jungkook spoke quietly. "I think it's useful."

"Oh it is." Jimin nodded. "It makes you look mature."

"Good." Jungkook tried to bite down his smile. "I want...I want you to think I'm attractive."

"Since when have I not?" Jimin put his hand over Jungkook's. "You've always been cute."

"...and handsome."

"Now handsome."

"Sure." Jungkook laughed. "So! Tomorrow?"

"Dinner."

"I'll ask my parents! I want to go over with them. I'll go early to help you make the meal?"

"No no, my parents would never allow that." Jimin laughed, getting his coat back on. "But." Jimin squeezed Jungkook's hand. "You could stay over afterwards."

"Really?"

"Mhm, if you don't dress like you did tonight." Jimin eyed him. "My parents wouldn't appreciate such skin being shown."

"But you appreciate it." Jungkook was quick with his answer.

"...I do." Jimin blushed. "But that doesn't matter."

"It does." Jungkook laughed. "Actually it matters a lot."

"Not for tomorrow."

"Sure it does." Jungkook smiled. "I'll keep them buttoned for the dinner, that's all."

"And after that?"

"Well, your parents respect your privacy." Jungkook gave him a side eye, still smiling.

Jimin blushed. "You're going to regret that."

"Why?"

"Cause, you'll get us in trouble."

"Maybe you're worth the trouble."

"What's gotten into you? Read one too many romance mangas?" Jimin rolled his eyes with a smile. "Just because you're 18 now doesn't mean anything else has changed."

Jungkook sighed heavily. "I can't be romantic?"

"Mmmm~ I didn't say that. But you have to know the limit." Jimin smiled at him. "This is different than most relationships Jungkookie, we can't be public."

"But hyung-"

"No buts." Jimin shrugged. "I'm sorry Jungkook, but your age doesn't change anything."

"Hyung." Jungkook looked at him a little angrier. "What if it does?"

"It doesn't."

"We talk about it every year."

"Mhm, and I need to protect you from out there so my answer is no." Jimin sighed. "Please understand."

"I don't understand, why can't we just- why can't we just try it? Be secret, I don't care, but at least try, or pretend, or something." Jungkook seemed upset now.

But Jimin shook his head. "I'm sorry, but no. I won't let you get hurt."

"But hyung-"

"I said no!" Jimin stopped him from trying to take this further. "Look Jungkook, I really do care about you, I do, but I can't let you get hurt because of me." He sighed heavily. "This...this is the time we have."

"What do you mean because of you?" Jungkook looked at him in confusion and slight offense. "You- this is something I want, you know."

"I know. But if it wasn't for me you wouldn't have know. And you would've been better off without knowing." Jimin looked away. "You would've been better off not knowing me."

"Well that's a fucking lie."

"Jungkook-"

"Hyung, please, shut up. If you're going to talk bad about yourself then I don't want to hear it. I don't care." Jungkook still looked upset.

"I mean it though." Jimin kept his gaze away, feeling the car stop. "I will always feel bad about-"

Jungkook cut him off, grabbing his chin and pulling him into a kiss. He was rough, Jimin able to tell he was angry through it.

He pulled away, glaring at Jimin. "I don't know what you've been through...but you didn't drag me into this. I would've found out one day, I would've known, but to have you here with me is important and helpful and I want you to stop thinking it's all your fault."

Jimin blushed but looked away. "...I...guess this is my stop."

Jungkook sighed. "Yeah. It is."

"Thank you for driving me home Jungkook. I'll see you tomorrow?" Jimin gave him a weak smile.

"...hyung..." Jungkook sighed again, shaking his head. "I'll walk you to your door." He got out, Jimin a little embarrassed when he opened his door for him.

They walked to the front door. "Will I see you tomorrow?"

"I'll ask my parents." Jungkook smiled. "I'll stay over if I can."

"Okay. Drive home safe Jungkook." Jimin smiled more before he hugged him.

Jungkook hugged him back. "It was good to see you."

"You've grown." Jimin laughed as he opened the door. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Jungkook left with a small smile, leaving Jimin to process the night.

He turned around, surprised to see his mother. "Oh! Mom, guess what? Jungkook said they can probably come over for dinner tomorrow."

"You're back late."

"I know." Jimin smiled. "We had a lot to catch up on."

She gave a concerned look. "Is he wearing clothes like that now? Showing such skin?"

"Mom, please, he's an adult now. And no, not always, just tonight since we were blasting the heat in his car. He got his drivers license and a car this last year." Jimin kept his smile, trying to walk to his room. "He's working for his dad too, so he's gotten quite busy!"

"Ah, he's working with his father?" She nodded. "That's good."

"Mhm. He got a dog too."

"I saw him! He's adorable, isn't he?" She eased a little, Jimin happy she didn't press into any of the bigger questions such as what the fuck they did for five hours.

"He is." Jimin smiled and exhaled. "I'm tired mom, I need to head to bed. I'll help with dinner tomorrow, don't worry alright? It'll go great."

"I hope so. That family is kind but odd."

"Odd?" Jimin titled his head.

"Mhm. I bet they think we're odd too." She laughed a little, but Jimin felt a spike of anxiety.

"Why's that?"

"Well, both of our sons would rather hang out with one another than find a girlfriend." She laughed again. "Ah, but you're busy so I don't blame you. I'm so proud of you son, working so hard towards your dream." She pulled him into a hug. "Don't give up now! Your father and I believe in you 100 percent."

"Thank you mom." Jimin smiled and hugged her back. "I..." he spoke in a whisper, unable to say it loud enough for her to hear.

"Goodnight sweetie."

The two headed to bed, Jimin unable to rest easy.

They weren't allowed to take this outside of the three weeks they spent here. It was only allowed to be here, where both of them came for their winter vacation. It was only allowed when they were here. Why were either of them trying to push it? This back and forth that Jimin explained was impossible. He already had so much guilt in his heart, he didn't want Jungkook to feel it either. And he didn't want that precious smile to fade, or his eyes to lose their light, or his happy-go-lucky energy or anything.

He didn't want Jungkook to lose what he had. He didn't want him to lose at all. If he could accept that these three weeks were the only time, that this was it, then he could move on easier.

This was what he knew was going to happen. This was what was going to happen. Jungkook would realize the hardships, move on, find a girl. Easy. And Jimin would be...still in love with him. Jungkook was barely 18. That was barely out of high school, still young, still slightly immature...he didn't know yet. He didn't know the cruelty of people.

Jimin wanted to keep it that way.

Jungkook could live happily. That's why they couldn't take this outside of winter break. Because Jimin needed Jungkook to be happy.

It was safe to say he didn't sleep well that night.

____

Jimin woke up groggily. He didn't really know what time it was, but he did know that today was going to be busy with cooking. He checked his phone, smiling a little as he saw Jungkook's good morning text.

Jungkook (10:45)
Good morning hyung!
Would you like to walk my dog with me?

Jimin couldn't help but smile a little more. Ah, Jungkook was such a romantic idiot. A hopeless, romantic idiot. He was perfect.

Jimin (11:35)
If it isn't too late?

Jungkook (11:35)
Never too late! I'll come over now

Jimin couldn't keep the smile off his face or the flutters out of his chest. He quickly got up though, knowing that if he didn't start getting ready now he'd never be ready in time.

Casual clothes, casual clothes, what did people wear for a winter walk? In the snow, with their dog...oh god Jimin couldn't erase his smile. He wanted this so badly. He wanted this every day, he wanted to walk with Jungkook and their dog, he wanted to cuddle afterwards, he wanted-

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before continuing to get ready.

He got dressed in a shirt and sweater before heading out, his heavier coat by the door.

"Jimin! Where are you going?" His parents called out to him as he got out of his room and went to the kitchen to get something quick to eat.

"Ah, good morning! I'm going for a walk with Jungkook before we start cooking for dinner." Jimin smiled. "Can Jungkook stay over and help us decorate the house while we cook? He said he wants to be helpful."

"Oh, but he's a guest! He shouldn't be doing anything." She smiled back. "He could come over, yes, if he really wants to. We'd be delighted to have him."

"Really?"

"Of course. I know he's one of your closest friends, so of course he's allowed over."

Jimin smiled wide. "Thank you."

He ate something small before getting his shoes on, getting ready to head out when he heard a knock on the door.

He quickly got his coat on, opening the door.

Jungkook exhaled shortly with a smile. "Hey."

"Hi." Jimin returned the smile. "Okay I'm heading out! We'll be back before dinner."

"Alright! Nice to see you Jungkook." His mother called out, Jungkook bowing.

"Thank you for letting me take your son." He kept his smile, while Jimin blushed.

They headed out, Jimin hitting Jungkook's shoulder once they were a little bit aways.

"Why'd you say it like that?" Jimin glared a little, but his cheeks were pink.

"Cause you're cute." Jungkook shrugged. "They already think I'm weird, why should I try not to be?" He smiled as he looked at Jimin, leaning down to be a little closer to him. "You look so cute today. Rushed, hm?"

"Your vacation home is very close to ours okay? I had to hurry." Jimin blushed more, looking away and at Jungkook's dog. "Oh my god. He has little booties!"

Jungkook laughed. "Yeah, my mom bought them for him for the snow. He doesn't like them too much, but I'd rather him be a little uncomfortable than freeze his paws." He smiled. "How was your night? Sleep well?"

"Mmm." Jimin's smile turned into something quizzical. "Not sure. I couldn't sleep."

"Thinking about something?" Jungkook gave a concerned glance.

"Mmm...just everything I guess." Jimin laughed. "What about you?"

"Um...I slept well. A little hard to sleep though." Jungkook laughed nervously. "You kinda stayed in my head afterwards."

Jimin gave a silent ah and nodded. "I see. Still?"

"Still? Yes still. You're so fucking..." Jungkook blushed. "You're so attractive it hurts."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. It was um. Different. This time." Jungkook cleared his throat. "Anyways! Have you eaten?"

"Just a little, why?"

"Well...we could go get a coffee? Maybe get a treat?" Jungkook smiled at him. "Something light."

"...are you asking me on a date?" Jimin smiled slowly.

"I-if you'll um- if you'll accept it as one?" Jungkook asked nervously. "You don't have-"

"I would love to." Jimin kept smiling. "I accept."

"Perfect." Jungkook smiled back. "You've been treating yourself alright? How has your year been?"

"It's been alright. I've been so busy Jungkook, you have no idea." Jimin laughed. "I barely had time for people."

"Ahh, I see."

"How was your senior year?"

"Oh it was horrible." Jungkook laughed. "I couldn't get through anything. Oh hyung you would've been so disappointed in me, you would've felt the need to tutor me."

"Oh no! What happened?" Jimin showed concern. "Did you do poorly?"

"I barely graduated. With low marks. Like, actually the lowest marks you could pass with." Jungkook laughed again, still smiling, still happy, still bouncing with energy. "But I graduated!"

"Ah, I would've loved to go." Jimin sighed. "I was so busy..."

"No, it's okay! You wouldn't have been proud. My parents weren't either." Jungkook simply kept his smile. "I'm happier now. You wouldn't have wanted to be there, I looked so sad."

"Ah." Jimin nodded. "...I should've called." He whispered to himself before shaking his head. "I wouldn't have been disappointed!"

"Hm? Oh no, you would've." Jungkook laughed. "You would've been ashamed."

"Oh shut up, no I wouldn't have been." Jimin smacked his shoulder lightly. "I'll always be supportive you know."

"Sure sure, but come on, you're like, actually smart and cool and awesome and good at school." Jungkook sighed a little. "It wouldn't have been good if you went to congratulate me. Someone would've asked how you know me, and then what school you go to, and then-"

Jimin cut him off by bursting out laughing. "Are you insecure about knowing me?"

"What?! No!" Jungkook looked at him in surprise. "I- no, it's just so funny how someone like you is around someone like me."

"Why?" Jimin asked honestly.

"Cause! You're so smart, and I'm really not. Not only that, but we really just...we're really different, aren't we?" Jungkook smiled at him.

Jimin saw past it. "No. We're not so different." He didn't want Jungkook to try and build a wall between them because of last night. "We have the same humor. The same interests. We like the same food! The same games, the same stories...we're very much the same."

"You know- you know a lot of people say that opposites attract, but people usually end up with someone similar to themselves." Jungkook cleared his throat. "Did you know that?"

Jimin laughed again, then bumped their shoulders a little. "You're certainly flirty this year. What's gotten into you?"

"Some confidence." Jungkook licked his lips. "From a friend or two."

"Oh my, who could've given you confidence?" Jimin teased.

"My hyung." Jungkook laughed a little.

"Am I not your only hyung?" Jimin gasped dramatically. "Someone else gave you confidence hm?"

"Yeah. He gave me a pep talk, that's all." Jungkook smiled. "I needed it this last year."

"Why?"

"Cause." He smiled a little more at Jimin before continuing to look forward.

"Oh please, short answers?" Jimin raised an eyebrow. "Why're you shy now?"

"Cause! Of course I'm shy. You're here." Jungkook kept his gaze forward, then down at his dog. "You make me shy."

"Why would I do that?" Jimin smiled as he looked at him in confusion.

"Because. This...you look...very handsome this year. Not that you weren't last year! But- but this- you- you've gotten much more attractive in just a year, it's making me shy..." Jungkook blushed.

"Oh." Jimin blushed too. "You- you really think so?"

"Yes." Jungkook laughed. "I really think so. It makes me scared for next year."

"What? Why?" Jimin laughed a little. "By then you'll become even more handsome."

"I'm only trying to be on your level. I gotta keep up." Jungkook teased, but he watched Jimin's smile die down a little. "No no, you aren't forcing me to grow up-"

"Sorry, sorry." Jimin apologized for being so obvious. He was usually better at this, but...the boy Jimin knew wasn't a boy anymore. Yet he still had guilt in his chest and heart, weighing him down.

"I mean it hyung-"

"Sorry, I'm- I really shouldn't make it so obvious-"

"Hey, what?" Jungkook looked at him in confusion. "Make what obvious?"

"Nothing, sorry. I just- well, I guess I can't help it." Jimin laughed a little nervously. "I should've been more mature, sorry."

"I?" Jungkook looked at him in confusion. "I asked for it? I wanted it."

"That doesn't mean it's okay. I should've been more mature." Jimin sighed. "Sorry."

"Hyung. We're two years apart. That's nothing."

"I mean, technically yes, but-"

"We met when we were in middle school."

"Yes, but-" Jimin still felt bad.

"No buts! We met when we were both minors. It's been plenty of years, and we didn't do anything until we were at least 16." Jungkook shrugged. "I don't see the problem."

Jimin sighed. "...yeah...yeah okay..."

"So don't feel bad. I asked for it in the first place." Jungkook huffed. "So don't feel bad hyung! I'm happier now than ever."

Jimin couldn't help but smile a little. "...then at least let me treat you to a drink."

"No way, I asked you first." Jungkook laughed. "It's my treat to you."

"Ah, but I should apologize some way or another."

"Don't apologize at all!" Jungkook laughed again. "I'm not mad, why would I be? There's nothing to apologize for."

"I..." Jimin faltered. Jungkook always did this, always made him feel like this was okay and alright. That he could find comfort in him. But Jimin knew that Jungkook just didn't know yet...he didn't know the words people could say.

"You alright?"

"Yeah. I just- well, I can't help but feel bad."

"How come?" Jungkook asked softly, interested but trying to be kind. "Is there something wrong?"

"N-no." Jimin shook his head, looking down at Jungkook's dog. "Nothing wrong."

"Hyung, really. You've been extra weird this year."

"Extra?" Jimin attempted to make jokes. "You think I'm weird normally?"

"Hyung." Jungkook smiled at him, but he wasn't dropping it. "What's wrong?"

"Nothings wrong. I'm here, you're here, this is fun and we're having fun." Jimin smiled at Jungkook's dog, not wanting to look at Jungkook.

"Ah, you're so stubborn hyung." Jungkook sighed, bumping their shoulders together. "Tell me soon, okay?"

Jimin smiled a little more. "Sure. Sometime soon."

The two glanced at each other before continuing their walk. Jimin didn't want to explain, and Jungkook was too kind to push it.

Same as usual. Same as always.

"So...how're your friends?" Jimin sparked something up. He felt bad for shutting everything down.

"Oh...I have a couple older hyungs, but no friends from school." Jungkook laughed a little. "My- my hyungs are busy though. So..."

"Ah, I see. Do you have anyone your age?"

"Hm..." Jungkook thought about it. "I...don't think so actually."

"Oh! Jungkook, I didn't know, I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay." Jungkook laughed. "I don't mind! I have you and my hyungs."

Jimin smiled a little. "I hope you find someone."

"I have." Jungkook teased him.

Jimin blushed a little. "I meant a friend. A best friend?"

"Shouldn't um...someone you like also be your best friend?"

"Jungkook." Jimin sighed. "You're really going for it this year."

"Yeah? And?" Jungkook leaned down a little to look at Jimin's face.

Jimin rolled his eyes. "We're friends, no?"

Jungkook kissed his forehead quickly. "Sure."

Jimin blushed red. "Jungkook!"

"Yes hyung?" Jungkook looked at him proudly.

"Don't do that!" Jimin immediately looked around to make sure no one was around. "We can't do that!"

"Aww, hyung, why not? I haven't seen you in a year, shouldn't we celebrate?" Jungkook continued to tease him, his smile never really leaving.

Jimin shook his head. "Not in public."

"Ahh~ are you embarrassed hyung? Not used to kisses in public? How cute! Ah, such a cute hyung." Jungkook smiled wide, a skip in his step now. "Lucky me~"

Jimin felt his cheeks burn as he watched Jungkook's happiness. They were lucky no one was around. Why couldn't he see it? Why didn't he understand? How was he so unaware? He shook it off. "Jungkook..."

"Yes hyung?" Jungkook looked at him happily. "Do I make sense to you yet?"

"Do I?" Jimin shook his head. "You don't get it Jungkook."

"I don't get it? I don't think you get it hyung." Jungkook laughed. "I- I...I..." he faltered. "Sorry. We're pretty close now, so what do you want to order? They're dog friendly too."

"Mmm." Jimin nodded. He knew what Jungkook was hinting at. He knew Jungkook was trying to further their relationship. His atmosphere had changed from last year, more confident, more foreword, more...handsome. Jimin blushed a little. "I'll think."

"Okay~" Jungkook hummed, still happy to his core.

Jimin wanted to feel that. He just couldn't help but feel bad.

They got to the cafe, Jungkook making sure his dog was well behaved as they ordered. He let some people pet him, before sitting them all down at a table.

He smiled at Jimin as he took off his hood and beanie. "How're you liking the snow hyung? I know you love this weather."

"Oh it's lovely Jungkook." Jimin smiled at him. "I love it here. I love it so much, I love the snow." Jimin looked outside. "It's just wonderful. It's just wonderful."

Jungkook exhaled happily, almost dreamily. "Perfect. Your happiness is enough to fill me."

Jimin looked a him with a blush. "Jungkook..."

"Yes?" Jungkook smiled at him. "You're so cute hyung, your blush is really cute."

"Jungkook."

"Hm? I like how you look when you're embarrassed, it's cute. I want...to see you look embarrassed more often. You're so shy hyung. Oh! Except when-"

"Ahhhh, stop it stop." Jimin looked down and blushed, one hand reaching out and shaking to stop Jungkook from talking, the other covering his own mouth. "Please."

Jungkook took Jimin's hand, putting it on the table and holding it down with his own. "I mean it. You're...ethereal."

Jimin blushed more, still looking down.

"Mmm~" Jungkook scooted closer, leaning in. "You're cute hyung. I want you to think about me like I think of you."

"I think about you enough." Jimin spoke quietly.

"Then more, I need more hyung."

"I can't give you more."

"Yes you can. We both can." Jungkook rubbed his hand slowly. "More...dates. More...time together. More...special time together."

Jimin pulled his hand away. "No Jungkook. We can't and you should know that." Jimin looked up at him. "Don't you get it? We're only allowed to be together when we're alone. Alone, Jungkook. That's all we can have. Get it yet?"

"Woah there, that's...kinda harsh." Jungkook's flirting died down. "There's nothing wrong with- with this."

Jimin laughed before covering his mouth again. "Sorry, sorry, I don't- I don't mean to laugh." He tried to erase his smile as Jungkook's smile fully faded.

"There's nothing wrong with this hyung."

Jimin truly tried to stop giggling and laughing. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Jungkook stared at him. "...there's nothing wrong with you."

Jimin exhaled shakily, trying to control himself. "Yes there is."

"Then is there something wrong with me?" Jungkook asked quietly.

"Of course! You like me." Jimin laughed again, looking down and pursing his lips. "...you were never supposed to like me."

"Hyung..." Jungkook sighed and shook his head. "You're wrong."

"It was an accident. You weren't supposed to like me. I just can't seem to let you go." Jimin looked up at him. "You don't get it Jungkook, I don't want this for you."

"Want what exactly? Cause I want you." Jungkook was being serious, his eyebrows knit a little. "I'm an adult now Jimin. That changes things."

"That's what you want?" Jimin laughed a little. "You want me? Do you have any idea...any idea of what that means?"

"I'm not a fucking idiot Jimin." Jungkook glared a little. "I know what it means. But I know people Jimin, I know happy people who are out and happy and I want that." Jungkook eased, smiling at him a little. "I want that with you." He tried to put his hand back on Jimin's hand.

"No. No no, you don't get it." Jimin pulled his hand away. "You don't get it, you don't understand." Jimin looked down, feeling embarrassed and shame and guilt all over again. He felt scared.

"Jimin-"

"Don't." Jimin stopped him, his heart racing. "You don't get it Jungkook, you obviously don't get it." He couldn't stop it, he couldn't stop his heart from racing at the idea of someone finding out he was gay, he couldn't even explain the fear it gave him. He put a hand over his heart. He could imagine it. He could see his classmates teasing him, his friends ignoring him, the people who would assault him, the people who would harass, torment, he could see the school doing nothing, his life would be hell, his hard work would be thrown away and it wouldn't mean anything and he couldn't loose-

"Hyung." Jungkook was concerned, his arm going around Jimin's shoulders. Jimin didn't even realize he'd moved next to him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring anything bad up, I'm sorry." Jungkook rubbed his shoulder, letting Jimin lean into him.

Jimin felt embarrassment upon shame yet again. "Sorry sorry, no I'm okay." He pushed Jungkook away once he realized what they were doing.

"Hyung...hugging is normal." Jungkook looked dejected. "I...didn't realize you felt this way."

"I-" Jimin looked away. "I'm really sorry. You hit a nerve." 

Jungkook looked at him sadly before he heard his name being called out. "Do you really think you don't deserve happiness like everyone else?" He stood up and started to walk before talking to his dog. "Ah- stay. Stay Bam. Good." He went to get their order.

Jimin exhaled shakily before he kissed at Bam. "Come here~" he made room in between his legs for the dog to come and make him feel better. He wanted to feel better. Bam came over slowly. Jimin let him sniff his hand before he started to pet him. He wasn't exactly expecting to have an anxiety attack in a cafe on the second day of his supposedly fun and relaxing break.

He sighed heavily before smiling a little, petting Bam slowly. "Good boy...so kind...just like your owner..."

"Hey..." Jungkook came back. "You...feeling better?" He set down their food.

"I'm alright. You just...hit a nerve, I'm sorry." Jimin laughed a little, still petting Bam. "You must be concerned, but don't worry Jungkookie, I'm alright." Jimin looked up at him with a smile, trying to reassure him and change the subject to anything else. "Bam is well trained. He's just like you."

Jungkook sat down across from him again. "I worked hard to train him. My parents wouldn't let me have him if I didn't. You like his boots?"

"I love his boots." Jimin smiled at Jungkook. "He's really quiet."

"He's anxious around new people, so he's less energetic right now." Jungkook smiled a little, but Jimin could tell he was still concerned. "Sorry, I'm...I'm still..."

"No it's okay, I understand. I just don't think...you understand yet." Jimin shook his head. "And I'd rather you not understand actually. I don't want you to...know."

"Know what hyung?"

"Know what it's like." Jimin smiled at him, letting go of Bam's ears that he was delicately petting. "To be hurt from people because of who you like."

"Hyung..." Jungkook sighed. "I don't care about that. Isn't liking you enough?"

Jimin smiled more, shaking his head a little as he reached for his drink. "Let's just enjoy our time here."

Jungkook reached for Jimin's hand before retracting it. "Oh."

"I'm really sorry Jungkook. I am, really. But I don't want you to get hurt. At any cost." Jimin smiled a little sadly. "Any...cost."

"But hyung...I want to be happy." Jungkook held his drink sadly.

"You can be happy with someone else, can't you?"

"Can you?" Jungkook frowned at him. "You say it like it's easy."

"With time. A whole year in between our three weeks...that's a lot of time to find someone." Jimin smiled with a nod, sipping his drink and smiling a little more at how warm and comforting it was. "Your age...you turned 18 and now look at you. So confident."

"...well...yeah..." Jungkook kept his frown, his eyebrows furrowing. "I though...maybe things could change."

"And why did you think that...when the world hasn't changed?" Jimin kept his smile, looking at Jungkook. "You said you have some hyungs that are happy together? Are they out? Are they out to their parents and all their friends and to the public? Do they hold hands on the train, while they go for a walk, do they kiss and hug when they say goodbye?" Jimin asked him honestly. "Are they safe?"

"T-they're happy." Jungkook's faith seemed to waiver. "They're happy and that's what matters, not anyone else..."

"I'm not going to harm you by letting us be together." Jimin shook his head, looking down at Bam at their feet. "I..." he faltered before clearing his throat. What he wouldn't do to have them drink tea at the kitchen table in the morning, dog by their feet as they have a warm, easy day off. "I can't do that to you." He could imagine them having breakfast. "I could never do that to you." He could imagine them having music playing, Jungkook asking him to dance once he got bored. "I have to take care of you by protecting you."

"Protecting me from what hyung? I'm...am I not good enough for you? Are you trying to let me dow easy?" Jungkook sighed heavily, staring at his drink. "...I'm confused hyung..."

"No no, don't- don't be upset at yourself, it's not your fault." Jimin sighed. "But I mean it. Are they happy? Are they? Because they've given you too much courage and hope." Jimin took a sip before sighing again and looking at Jungkook. "Please don't cry."

Jungkook was pursing his lips, trembling ever so slightly as he looked down.

"Jungkook, I'm sorry." Jimin spoke quietly. "Please don't cry. Please, I don't...I'm trying not to hurt you."

"B-but I...I really like you hyung." Jungkook sniffed quickly before wiping his eyes as subtly as possible. "What am I supposed to do with that?"

"Let it happen while it can." Jimin tried to reassure him. "Let's- let's enjoy our dates, our walks, our time together...and enjoy it while we can. Three weeks."

"T-three weeks..." Jungkook nodded. "Ah, sorry." He kept wiping his eyes, sniffing and looking up as he wiped them. "That's just not enough time."

"That's all we have." Jimin sighed. "I really am sorry."

"No, no it makes sense. I just thought...maybe this year would be different." Jungkook exhaled and looked at Jimin again.

"We're just not...we just can't." Jimin couldn't explain it better without being harsh. "We just can't."

"I think I just...don't get it. But I won't push it anymore, okay Jimin?"

Jimin nodded. "Okay. I would...I would really appreciate that. I do care about you, really, I do. So much so that I have to protect you."

"Okay..." Jungkook nodded. "When...when will you stop protecting me?"

"Hm? Never." Jimin laughed. "That's my job."

Jungkook's face dropped yet again. "Never?"

"Never Jungkook. Won't I always be your hyung?" Jimin tilted his head.

Jungkook looked down. "Oh...I guess so..."

"So...three weeks?" Jimin tried to put their energy back together.

"Three weeks." Jungkook nodded. "I- I want- yeah."

"Okay. You can..." Jimin felt the doubt sink back in. "You know...you can always say no."

"Three weeks." Jungkook looked up at him in shock. "You said these three weeks, I'm not saying no!"

"I was just saying!" Jimin blushed a little, but couldn't erase his smile. He liked being wanted. "If- if you ever want to, you can. You can always say-"

"Yes. My answer will always be yes. C-cause I have to take what I can." Jungkook gulped. "Cause I really like you hyung."

"Please, don't hurt yourself more." Jimin laughed a little, trying to erase his blush. "Thank you for paying by the way, I really would've treated you. Actually, how about I do treat you? Dinner soon. I'll take you to dinner to celebrate your graduation." Jimin smiled at him.

"I'd love that hyung." Jungkook smiled back.

"So, mom said you could come over and help decorate the place while we make food...if you still feel like you have to help out." Jimin really wanted to lift his spirits. A sad Jungkook was a horrible sight to see.

"Really? She'll let me over?"

"Mhm. And I'm certain she'd allow you to spend the night too."

"Really?!" Jungkook smiled happily.

"No funny business! But yes. Probably." Jimin smiled at Jungkook's happiness. "I can ask her. She likes that I enjoy your company."

"A friend hm? Do you have many?"

"Sure, I have friends at school, but a couple closer ones." Jimin laughed a little. "I just don't have any here, except for you."

"Ah, so I'm special." Jungkook smiled happily to himself.

"You are special."

"Mmm." Jungkook kept his smile.

____

The dinner went perfectly; Jungkook helped them set up some more Christmas decorations in their house while Jimin helped his mother make dinner. Jimin asked to have Jungkook over, and his parents agreed.

So here they were, cuddling in Jimin's bed after cleaning up dinner and showering.

Jungkook was rubbing his back, the two silent as they cuddled close, Jimin's head on his chest.

"...how're you feeling?" Jungkook asked him quietly.

"I'm alright. Feeling a little tired, but...how're you feeling?"

"Could be better."

"Sorry."

"No, it's okay. I just...romanticized it. You made me think about it logically for the first time and I...it was harsh but it makes sense."

"I tried to be kind, I'm sorry." Jimin leaned up and kissed his cheek. "I meant to be kind."

"You were kind...but...you also laughed at me."

"I didn't- I didn't laugh at you. I laughed at the idea. Which...is just as rude, isn't it?" Jimin kissed his cheek again. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I understand." Jungkook kissed his forehead. "We've both explained ourselves. I just wanted more, but you're right. We have these three weeks."

"Yeah." Jimin sighed. "We do. And that's okay! Right? That's okay and we'll be okay."

"Yeah." Jungkook moved so he could see Jimin's face. "We'll be okay."

"Yeah." Jimin smiled at him, touching his cheek softly. "We'll be okay."

"Yes." Jungkook smiled back before kissing him, his hand running down to Jimin's waist. It was obvious that Jungkook wanted contact, his need to be touched and held loud and clear. So Jimin did, he held him, letting Jungkook kiss and hold him as well.

At least they could still do this. Jimin really liked kissing him, he really liked being this close and feeling like...he belonged somewhere. He liked Jungkook's hands on him, touching him kindly but with purpose.

"Ah- Jungkook."

"Hm?" Jungkook pulled away with a smile. "Something wrong?"

"I said to be good." Jimin whispered, blushing pink.

"Am I not being good?" Jungkook teased him, his hand having slipped passed Jimin's pajama pants. "I'm not being loud, are you?"

"Jungkook..." Jimin blushed, Jungkook's hand simply rubbing circles on his hipbone again. "Please, my parents are home."

"So? Don't be loud, that's all." Jungkook laughed a little. "...want me to stop?"

"You've gotten so bold." Jimin kissed him, slowly moving on top of him, wanting both of Jungkook's hands on him. He hated but really loved how turned on he was by Jungkook's confidence.

"Just- just get your pants off, damn it." Jungkook mumbled against his lips. "Nothing wrong with that, right?"

"Jungkook." Jimin rolled his eyes. "What happened to no funny business?"

"I'm not laughing. Or joking." Jungkook ran both his hands down Jimin's back, under his pajamas. "Get them off."

Jimin blushed red. "Okay." He helped Jungkook get them off, laying back on top of him. "B-better?"

"Much better hyung." Jungkook nipped Jimin's lips, his hands pushing the back of Jimin's shirt up.

"H-hey-" Jimin was embarrassed by Jungkook's forward actions. "Why are you being like this?"

"Cause. Couldn't stop thinking about you at dinner."

"W-what? Why?"

"Cause. You dressed so...cute. I wanted to take your sweater off of you so badly. Saw how you looked at me."

"I did look at you. As anyone would." Jimin smiled a little before shuddering and resting his head on Jungkook's chest. "...Jungkook..." he whispered.

Jungkook slid his hands from Jimin's thighs up his boxers. "Looked like you were undressing me with your eyes and that goddamn smile." He laughed a little, rolling his eyes. "So innocent when you fucking laugh but I know not a single thought is pure."

Jimin blushed red, pushing up on Jungkook's chest to try and sit up. Jungkook simply grabbed his ass, Jimin shuddering and laying back down. "J-Jungkook!"

"Shhhh, don't wanna be too loud hyung." Jungkook smiled at him. "Right?"

"You are such a brat." Jimin growled at him, but he quickly rested his head on Jungkook's chest as Jungkook moved his hands. "Brat."

"I've kinda had enough teasing in one day." Jungkook looked at Jimin's lips, then back at Jimin's eyes. "Why do you tease me so much?"

"C-cause it's cute...cause I know what you're thinking...it's like our own secret language." Jimin felt embarrassed. "...I like how you react..."

"Yeah? I like how you react too...though...not sure it's the best time to hear you." Jungkook grinned. "Unless you want to try it out."

"N-no, not- not with my parents home."

"Mmm~ they're down the hall though. If we're quiet..."

"Jungkook." Jimin glared a little.

"Ah, fine, fine. But you're hot as fuck, what should we do?" Jungkook tilted his head a little.

"Don't get hard." Jimin shuddered as Jungkook moved Jimin up a little. "Jungkook."

"Hm? You kept lookin at me, I just want...some affection."

"Then- then softer affection."

"I wanna touch." Jungkook pouted.

"Touch me softly." Jimin tried to ease him. "Please, something softer, I don't want to be loud."

Jungkook moved his hands to Jimin's back. "You really don't want to be loud?"

"I really don't."

"Then kiss me...you won't be loud then."

Jimin laughed a little. "There's no relaxing when it comes to you."

"I can relax when I'm asleep." Jungkook smiled a little more. "I just miss you, I promise I'll be better after a couple days. I'm just...not over you."

"Mm~ will you ever?"

"Probably not. Probably never." Jungkook laughed. "It's impossible when you're just so perfect."

"Perfect? Jungkook, please, I'm anything but perfect." Jimin laughed a little.

"Jimin...you're perfect to me. You inspire me." Jungkook smiled at him, his eyes softening as he rubbed Jimin's back. "You're perfect to me."

Jimin shook his head. "You're crazy."

"Aww, hyung, you don't believe me? I love- I- I love how you exist." Jungkook laughed a little. "You might not be...exactly proud, but hyung you're amazing. You're so strong and determined and steadfast. I just...you know yourself. Even if you aren't proud. But that's okay! It takes time." He sighed happily. "I love that about you."

Jimin blushed a little. "...it takes time, huh?"

"Yeah." Jungkook nodded. "It takes people too."

"People?"

"Mhm. It takes people." Jungkook nodded. "It takes people to help you understand."

"Ah, I see." Jimin smiled. "I don't have any people."

"I do. Would you...want...to meet them?" Jungkook raised an eyebrow. "They would love to meet you."

"Do you talk about me with them?"

"O-of course hyung...I haven't said your name, if that makes you feel better." Jungkook laughed a little nervously. "I actually would love if you met them."

Jimin thought about it for a moment. He was supposed to stop whatever they were doing eventually...but...but he knew there were people like him. Like Jungkook. And like Jungkook had said, there wasn't anything wrong with Jungkook...so...why was there something wrong with himself?

"Think about it hyung, you can get back to me later."

"Sure. I'll think about it." Jimin nodded. "I think that might be nice."

"They're both very nice hyung." Jungkook smiled happily. "They sort of raised me."

"Ah, then I'll have to thank them." Jimin smiled and rested against Jungkook's chest again. "They raised you well."

"Ah...then I really want you to meet them. You'll love them! They're really nice." Jungkook hugged him tighter. "You'd really like them."

Jimin couldn't help but smile, but it was hard to stay happy. He still...wasn't sure what to do. He didn't know how to feel like this was okay. He really liked Jungkook but...

This would eventually hurt him.

____

Jimin still believed in love.

Sure. He really honestly did.

But it was so hard to think he deserved it.

Jungkook was trying so hard this year. He was actively trying to convince Jimin that this was good for them, but Jimin couldn't do it.

They had two weeks left and Jimin still couldn't understand how Jungkook was pushing it. Yet here he was, sitting next to him at breakfast with his friends across from them.

"Hyung, this is Namjoon hyung and Seokjin hyung." Jungkook happily introduced them. "This is Jimin hyung, he's the one I've been talking about."

"It's nice to meet you! How long have you guys known each other?" Seokjin spoke first with a smile, Jimin smiling back politely.

"We met during middle school. Maybe...5? 6 years ago I think?" Jimin glanced at Jungkook. He nodded, happy like a puppy.

"Mhm!" Jungkook nodded. "We met during winter break and it turned out that both our families vacation here every year." He smiled happily at Jimin. "I'm really happy he does."

"Mmm." Jimin nodded. He wasn't sure what to do here. "So...am I allowed to ask...?"

"Yes." Namjoon laughed. "Ask away, we're comfortable."

Jungkook seemed giddy, Jimin patting his bouncing leg. "How long have you been together?"

"Going on 4 years." Seokjin took a sip from his drink. "But we've know each other for longer."

"How...how did you know? What- how old are you two?" Jimin looked at them both, perhaps a little distraught as they both softened their gazes.

"Seokjin is two years older than me." Namjoon laughed a little. "And we both decided that we wanted to try it. At least try."

"Ah..." Jimin nodded. No wonder Jungkook was so okay with this. "But how? It's...it'll be better for Jungkook if he doesn't...end up with me. I'm really happy for you two, really." Jimin laughed a little and looked down at their table. "I guess I just...don't understand. How did you decide to be together? How- how did that-" Jimin couldn't word it without being rude. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay. We just..." Namjoon looked at Seokjin.

"I made a more forward move. There was a breaking point I guess. Where both of us were too serious about one another that there was no difference in dating than what we were doing. Plus...we were both unhappy when we weren't together." Seokjin explained kindly.

"In my case, I got jealous whenever someone asked Jin out. And I couldn't pretend that I felt just friendship. But...Seokjin is so much more forward than me. I can compliment someone, sure, but he's confident." Namjoon shrugged. "It was worth it for us."

"I think it's worth it." Jungkook patted Jimin's hand.

Jimin sighed, taking his hand away. "It's not."

"Hyung..." Jungkook's voice was nearly silent, obviously sad.

"It's not worth it." Jimin shook his head. "I'm really sorry, but you don't deserve that pain." He looked at the couple across from him. "Are you public?"

Namjoon smiled sadly. "No."

"To family? Friends?"

"Just a couple friends, but not our families."

"At your jobs? Do you say it casually? I can't pretend. That's why. I can't pretend that I'm single, or that I have a girlfriend they can never meet, and I don't want Jungkook to be hurt because of me." Jimin shook his head. "...and I can't lie to my parents."

"But Jimin-" Jungkook looked at him sadly.

"No, Jungkook." Jimin looked at him. "It's not safe."

"But hyung-"

"Stop trying to convince me Jungkook. My answer is no, I'm sorry. Your safety is more important."

"But I'm an adult now."

"That isn't the problem." Jimin sighed. "You don't get it." He didn't want to get into this here.

"I don't get it? I don't think you get it hyung. No matter what happens, no matter how safe I am, I'm not going to be happy unless I'm with you." Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows.

"Jungkook." Jimin was a little upset now. "I don't want to argue with you in front of your friends."

"B-but I want their opinion."

"Safety is a valid reason to say no Jungkook." Seokjin spoke softly.

"No is a full sentence too." Namjoon nodded. "If he's not ready...then he's not."

"But I know how he feels!" Jungkook looked at all of them. "Is that not what matters the most?"

"...you're pushing it Jungkook." Jimin whispered. "I'm not ready. I don't think I'll ever be "ready" for a relationship with you. I live in too much fear, for a relationship with you to be happy." Jimin said it plainly. "You're not thinking about it enough Jungkook, I'm sorry."

Jungkook nodded, a silent ah leaving his lips.

Jimin patted his leg again, trying to apologize through touch. "Do you guys live together?"

"Yeah, we live in an apartment together."

"Nice! How often do you have dates?" Jimin smiled at them.

"As often as possible. Seokjin is really busy, and I'm a senior in college so it's difficult." Namjoon tilted his head. "But. We do have a good amount of dates. Twice a month if we're really busy, once a week if we're not."

"Wow! That's a lot!" Jimin laughed. "I was expecting maybe once a month if you're lucky."

"We have more at home dates."

"Ahhh, okay." Jimin nodded. "That makes sense! What kinds?"

"Mostly movie nights, but, we have some painting nights, sometimes we have cooking nights, or more quiet, reading dates." Namjoon smiled. "Sometimes you don't need to do much for a date to be meaningful."

"That makes sense." Jimin had never really thought about it before. "How do you guys really do it? Like, fake it."

"We don't. We just don't...say it. We don't bring it up, but we don't ignore it either. Just...casual. Like any other relationship." Seokjin shrugged. "It works."

"I can't do this." Jungkook spoke quietly before standing up from the table. "I have to go, I can't do this." He gave a weak smile before wiping his eyes and turning away. "I'll see you later."

Jimin opened his mouth but closed it. He didn't know what to say, he couldn't comfort him at this moment.

Seokjin stood up. "I'll go with him, it was nice to meet you Jimin."

"It was nice to meet you too." Jimin nodded, a little unsure of what to do now. He watched the two leave, Seokjin jogging after Jungkook. He looked at Namjoon. "I'm so sorry about all of this, I really didn't know what Jungkook wanted from this meeting."

"He wants you to know it's okay to be with him. And...he wants you to know it's possible. That it's achievable." Namjoon smiled at him. "Look, I know it's hard. I didn't think I even liked guys for a long, long time until Seokjin came out to me. He was scared, but he knew I was a safe place. But it's funny, you know, how much you don't think about it until it's right in your face. That oh moment, that aha moment."

"Mmm." Jimin nodded, listening.

"Then you realize that you were in love all along, you just didn't know it. Or maybe in your case...you don't know what to do about it."

"Ah." Jimin nodded again. "Yeah..."

"Why don't you?" Namjoon smiled at him, tilting his head.

"When you realized..." Jimin sighed. "Were you happy about it?"

"Mm. Yes. And no. But mostly yes, because I was so happy that someone was making me happier than I was." Namjoon smiled a little more, looking down. "Seokjin was just so honest about it."

"Will you...will you tell me?" Jimin asked quietly.

"Yeah. Seokjin told me one night at his place that he thought maybe he was bisexual. Maybe. He wasn't sure yet." Namjoon shrugged. "So we sat and talked about it. I asked him how he questioned it, and he said he thought he liked one of his classmates. So this goes on for a while, and he simply keeps me updated on it. If he still likes him, if he stops, if he's questioning it or if he's certain. Lots of communicating. But all of this makes me question."

"What was your aha moment?" Jimin still spoke quietly.

"I saw him dancing." Namjoon smiled softly, fond of the memory. "We were just in his room, listening to music, and he opened the curtains to let the moonlight in, and then he got up to dance." Namjoon laughed. "And I realized just how deep I had fallen in love. He was pure, and honest, and kind and loving and I...wanted to be a part of that with him."

"That's really sweet." Jimin smiled. "That's...really something."

"What about you?" Namjoon laughed a little. "What was your aha moment?"

"Oh. Oh." Jimin laughed a little. "Um...I'm not sure. I just knew I liked him, but...I don't know if I've...ever loved...him." Jimin looked down sadly. "I don't think I should love, so, I don't think I've had an aha moment."

"Oh. I'm really sorry to hear that. You know, I get it now. I know why Jungkook wanted you to meet us." Namjoon smiled at him. "I think he wanted you to meet us so you could see it. Jimin, I'm not a therapist, but I understand that. You do deserve a happy ending. And that aha moment...it happens for all of us. But you have to take a step back."

"Have I not already? I'm seeing the big picture. It won't work."

"Why not? I mean that honestly, not to argue."

"It wouldn't work. I'm too scared, he's too young, and this isn't something that moves on from our winter break. It doesn't." Jimin sighed. "It's complicated."

"I see that it is." Namjoon hummed. "If you could make it work...would you try?"

"I don't know. I think he could do better."

"What if he chooses you?" Namjoon laughed a little. "Do you not expect him to want to be with you?"

"He's young, he's- he's fresh out of high school, I can't do this to him. It would be painful." Jimin tried to explain. "He's...too hopeful."

"What makes you not hopeful? Two years apart isn't far."

"I've been through enough." Jimin became stern. "And I don't want him to go through anything."

"...um...does he know?..." Namjoon seemed to really piece it together. "Does he know what you've been through?"

"No." Jimin sighed. "Somehow I still want him to believe that there's good in the world."

"So you aren't letting him know you."

"Not fully. Otherwise he'd understand the bad things I don't what him to go through."

"But not telling him doesn't let him grow up either."

"It's not my fault he's in a fairy tale land, it's not my job to raise him." Jimin shook his head. "...I really like him, I do. But I can't convince myself that a future with him is attainable."

"I see...well...if you one day, do decide that it's attainable...me and Seokjin are more than happy to be in touch. If you need someone to talk to as well." Namjoon smiled at him.

"That would be really amazing." Jimin smiled a little at him. "Maybe even helpful."

"Jungkook's a good kid, but...well, you are right, he's hopeful, but Jimin that's not a bad thing." Namjoon put his number in Jimin's phone. "It's actually something that keeps us going."

"Why is that?"

"Cause. There's someone in the world who still believes in peace on earth and good in mankind." Namjoon smiled. "Kinda makes you hopeful too and that...is what's important."

"Mm." Jimin nodded. "Thank you. It was nice meeting you."

"No problem, it was nice meeting you too."

____

Jimin didn't see Jungkook for another week. He was getting ready to go back to school, but...he wanted to see Jungkook first. He didn't want to leave on their previous note.

He had to let Jungkook know that he still believed in love. He just didn't think it was for him. Maybe that would deter him, maybe that would be enough for Jungkook to understand him.

Maybe Namjoon was right, maybe he should let Jungkook understand him.

He walked to Jungkook's house, knocking on the door, waiting patiently.

A very tired Jungkook opened the door. "Ah...hyung..."

"Hello Jungkook." Jimin smiled at him. "May I come in?"

"I'm not exactly...in the best condition at the moment." Jungkook spoke quietly. "Maybe...um...next year."

"Jungkook, I'd like to apologize." Jimin kept his smile. "And I don't want to leave with a bad feeling."

"You made yourself clear hyung." Jungkook looked down. "There's no need to continue to make me feel bad."

"Then let me clear things up. I wasn't clear with you."

Jungkook sighed and opened the door for him. "My parents are out, so let's just go to my room, it's cold today."

Jimin took his shoes and coat off, following Jungkook afterwards to his room. Jungkook sighed again and got in his bed, opening the blankets for Jimin to follow. "You sure?"

"Yeah, come on." Jungkook sighed again and let Jimin in. Jimin cuddled up to him.

Jimin sighed. "I'm sorry." He closed his eyes, hugging Jungkook. "I shouldn't have been so harsh at breakfast."

"No, I understand." Jungkook hummed a little. "I'm sorry for pushing it, I won't do it anymore."

"No, I'm sorry for not letting you understand." Jimin rubbed Jungkook's chest a little. "Will you listen to me? It's okay if you don't want to."

"I want to." Jungkook nodded. "I do."

"Okay. Namjoon told me...that I should be honest with you." Jimin started it. "And I think he's right. I don't want you to be with me. I wish I could be with you, but I don't want you to be with me. I don't want you to go through the experiences that I've been through. And...I don't want you to experience the harm."

"Hyung...I don't know why you think so lowly of yourself."

"Because. I've been through enough that I don't want to risk it because of my experience. I also don't want you to go through any of it because I know how hard it is." Jimin tried to explain it as clearly as he could. "I care about you so much that I can't bare to have you go through what I have."

"Jimin..." Jungkook spoke softly. "I want...to experience things with you..."

"I don't want you to understand why I'm protective. I don't want you to experience the things I have, and if you and I were...anything more than we are now...you'd experience it all. Not as bad as me, but you would, and it would pain me to have you experience it too."

"Hyung...I...I don't care." Jungkook rubbed his back. "I want to be with you."

"Jungkook you don't get it." Jimin sat up, using Jungkook's chest to hold himself up. "It's painful, it's hurtful, and it sticks forever. Being with me...will hurt. And the only thing I want...is for you not to hurt." Jimin looked at him sadly before laying back down, this time closer to his face. He kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry."

Jungkook sighed again. "...I don't care. I want to be with you..."

"You're fresh out of high school. These three weeks? They're safe. They're nice and fun and I love them but I can't...let anything go further. So...I'll give you the option to stop this. Whenever you want to stop this, I'll respect it."

"Stop saying that. Stop asking me if I don't want this, I do." Jungkook rubbed his back again. "I'm sorry you went through shit, you're right, I don't understand. I haven't had bad encounters. But even knowing that people won't like me, that doesn't change that I like you."

"Jungkook-"

"Jimin I don't care how young I am. I haven't felt this way about someone before." Jungkook exhaled slowly. "Will you listen to me too?"

"Of course." Jimin eased, letting his walls down for a moment. He relaxed into Jungkook's arms. "I'll listen."

"I really like you hyung. And I haven't felt this way before, that alone scares me. You're not the only one who's afraid, but...I've seen it work. My hyungs are happy together, however much they have to hide in public. They don't hide at their home, and I think we could do it too." He exhaled again. "That's what I think."

"I'm really sorry to say it Jungkook, but I'm selfish." Jimin sighed shortly. "At school, I'm a workaholic. And trust me, I've thought about us outside of these three weeks, but I don't take time out of my days for much else other than school."

"You don't go out with friends?" Jungkook looked at him with slight concern.

"No." Jimin smiled at him sadly. "Only to study."

"You don't have fun?"

"I'm too busy now that I'm closing in on getting my degree. Maybe a couple years ago I was less focused, but now...it would pain me to have you put in so much effort and me not being able to reciprocate it, even though I'd want to!" Jimin sat up a little. "Don't think I wouldn't try! But it would...throw a wrench in my plans. I didn't account for you. And I don't want to disappoint you."

"Then- then after! After you graduate. What about then?" Jungkook sat up on his elbows.

"Jungkook." Jimin still looked at him sadly. "By then, I'd hope you move on-"

"No." Jungkook scowled. "Stop telling me to move on."

Jimin leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "You're sweet, truly, but...these three weeks. That's all I have with you."

"Summer." Jungkook kept trying.

"Jungkook." Jimin sighed. "I'm saying no." He saw Jungkook's face deflate. "I'm sorry."

"I see." Jungkook laid back down. "Why? Am I too young?"

"Jungkook, please, don't tear yourself down." Jimin patted his chest. "I told you why, it's because of me and school."

"So why not when you're out of school?"

"Because by then I'll be too busy to even come here." Jimin smiled, but Jungkook face made his smile disappear. He realized what he said. "I didn't mean-"

"What?! But- but then how will I see you?!" Jungkook sat up again, holding Jimin's biceps. "Jimin! Were you not going to tell me this?"

"I didn't mean it! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, that was a cruel joke I'm sorry." Jimin winced. "I didn't mean it."

Jungkook exhaled, falling back on the bed. "You're going to kill me one day with all these ups and downs."

"Really, I'm sorry. Though...it'll probably be a shorter break."

"Ahhhh, hyung...you're killing me. Tell me you're joking again, come on." Jungkook sighed.

Jimin pursed his lips.

"Ahhhhh." Jungkook lamented. "Take the vacation days."

"You know I can't." Jimin shook his head. "I am sorry. I am."

"Hyung...you're throwing a wrench in my plans." Jungkook laughed a little sadly. "You're really serious?"

"I really am." Jimin gave him a small smile.

Jungkook sighed. "Alright. Alright. I'll...try my best."

"Your best to do what exactly?"

"You know, I'm not quite sure." Jungkook laughed a little. "I really don't know what I mean."

"Mmmm." Jimin slowly moved on top of Jungkook. "I'm sorry Jungkookie."

Jungkook smiled at him, his cheeks darkening a little. "It's okay. I...understand."

"I hope you do." Jimin caressed Jungkook's face. "I really hope you do."

"I do." Jungkook darkened under his touch. "H-hyung." Jungkook put his hands over Jimin's.

"Hm? Can I not be affectionate at the moment?" Jimin stopped, Jungkook tightening his grip on Jimin's hands. "Are you alright?"

"I haven't seen you in a week, I'm...more affected by you than I thought." Jungkook laughed a little, looking at Jimin's lips. "I missed you."

"You should've come over..." Jimin spoke softly, leaning down and kissing Jungkook. "Why didn't you? Were you that mad? I'm sorry."

"It's...it really hurt me. I couldn't listen to you and Namjoon hyung talk as if nothing had happened." Jungkook pouted. "I just want you around."

"You had a lot of presumptions of what was going to happen..." Jimin rubbed Jungkook's cheeks with his thumbs. "I am sorry that it went badly for you."

"Can you kiss me? My parents...um, aren't coming home till tonight." Jungkook was red now.

Jimin laughed. "Jungkookie...why are you red?"

"I don't know! You're attractive? You're on top of me? I really missed you?" Jungkook looked away from Jimin. "I don't know why I'm red."

"Ah, I see. You're thinking...we're in your bed...your parents are out..." Jimin tilted his head with a smile. "You missed me...you want me to kiss you..."

"I want more than a kiss." Jungkook slowly looked at him again. "That is...if everything is still...the same as it was."

Jimin nodded. "It is. For me at least."

"Yeah. Me too." Jungkook smiled at him. "Can you kiss me now?"

"Yeah, I can kiss you now." Jimin smiled back and kissed him, his legs moving to straddle him. He kissed him kindly, Jungkook hugging him and pulling him closer. "...missed you."

"I missed you so much Jimin. This year seemed longer than usual." Jungkook slowly opened his eyes, Jimin kissing him again. "So much."

"I missed you too." Jimin hummed, kissing Jungkook again. "So much." He kissed him again.

Jungkook giggled. "Just kiss me hyung."

"Make me." Jimin stared down at him, teasing him.

Jungkook laughed. "You want me to make you? I really don't think you want me to force you." Jungkook teased him back.

"Oh but I do." Jimin nodded.

Jungkook held his waist and flipped them, hovering over Jimin. His hands quickly took the hem of Jimin's sweater, pulling it over and off of him, taking Jimin's wrists and pinning them above his head. He leaned down and smiled at Jimin.

Jimin blushed red. "H-hey wait-"

"No more waiting, I want to kiss you." Jungkook grinned. "And...I want you to know how strong I'm getting. One day...I'll be even stronger."

"Jungkook." Jimin laughed nervously. "You're strong enough-"

"No way." Jungkook laughed, nosing at his neck. "I want to be even stronger. I want you...to want me." He laughed, making Jimin shiver. "And I mean want me."

"W-who said I d-don't?"

"You." Jungkook bit him softly, gnawing before kissing his jaw. "You don't."

"I didn't say I didn't." Jimin gave him more room. "I- I never said I didn't want you."

"Yeah but...I want to be irresistible." Jungkook growled before kissing him, moving both of Jimin's wrists into one hand, his now free hand running up Jimin's shirt. He pushed it up, kissing Jimin into the bed.

He kissed him until Jimin whined, Jungkook pulling away. Jimin tried to catch his breath, breathing heavily. "Jungkook-"

"You're beautiful." Jungkook shook his head, smiling. "So beautiful. God I-" Jungkook blushed and looked away. "You're beautiful."

Jimin blushed, trying to get out of Jungkook's grip. "J-Jungkook-"

"No no, I want to keep you like this. Maybe I should get your shirt off...though, I don't want to make you cold. You'll warm up, won't you?" Jungkook grinned, looking over him. "Mmm. Gorgeous."

Jimin looked away. "Please..."

"Please? I thought you weren't begging." Jungkook nipped his neck before kissing.

"I'm not begging, I'm just...don't...compliment so much..." Jimin blushed, closing his eyes.

"Ah, I see." Jungkook kept kissing his neck, his hand busy touching Jimin's skin. "Too much?"

"Too much. Not enough. All of the above." Jimin couldn't help himself. "Why do you do this to me?"

"What do I do to you?" Jungkook mused at the idea.

"Shut up." Jimin kept his eyes shut tight. "Please, leave it."

"Oh no, please indulge me." Jungkook licked his neck, bitting and gnawing softly as to not leave a mark. "Tell me what I do to you."

"No."

"Tell me." Jungkook spoke lower.

"Y-you make me so embarrassed." Jimin shook his head, wriggling under Jungkook. "Let me go, come on, let me-"

Jungkook laughed. "Oh I see."

"Shut up! Shut up, stop- don't-" Jimin glared at him, red and messy.

Jungkook kissed him roughly, taking Jimin's bottom lip in between his own, slowly getting a knee in between Jimin's legs.

Jimin protested, wriggling under him more.

Jungkook pulled away, Jimin breathing heavily underneath him. Jungkook laughed in disbelief. "Fuck, you are so fucking pretty."

Jimin looked at him with wide eyes, breathing heavily, his cheeks red, his lips a little swollen, and his clothes disheveled. Jungkook could barely contain himself. "....J-Jungkook-"

"No, you're definitely mine today." Jungkook grinned at him, pressing his knee against Jimin's crotch for a reaction.

"Ah-" Jimin jumped a little at the contact before Jungkook continued the movement. "J-Jungkook!"

"Mmmmm~" Jungkook happily hummed. "Yes?"

"G-god never mind just come here, get your clothes off." Jimin exhaled shakily as Jungkook kept moving his knee against his crotch.

Jungkook smiled happily before kissing him again.

____

Jimin could've slept. Jungkook was hard to keep up with at this point, his stamina higher than before, Jimin desperately trying to keep up.

"Hyung, you can wear my clothes." Jungkook didn't hide his excitement as he put on sweats. "My parents texted, they're gunna be back by like, midnight."

"Mmmm~ you fucked up my clothes." Jimin closed his eyes, lounging in Jungkook's bed. "How could you."

"I wanted them off of you." Jungkook shrugged. "Need me to...put some on you?" He still sounded so happy.

"You'll try for another round." Jimin mumbled, holding his arm out. "Throw me some clothes."

Jungkook threw him some clothes, Jimin putting them on by feel. Jungkook flopped on the bed next to him, hugging the blankets around Jimin. "...thanks for saying sorry. I wasn't sure what to say to you so I just...didn't say anything. I'm sorry too."

"I couldn't go back knowing you were upset. That would've been on my mind the entire time." Jimin hummed, growing tired. "...and I really just want you to be happy."

"I am happy. Right here right now." Jungkook hugged him closer. "...I'd like to stay here."

"You know we can't." Jimin mumbled. "I've gotta head home before dinner."

"I...never mind. I'm not helping myself." Jungkook sighed a little. "I hope the rest of your school year isn't horrible."

"It'll be a lot."

"Then take good care of yourself please." Jungkook kissed Jimin's forehead. "As much as you can."

"I'll try for you Jungkook." Jimin smiled before he dozed off, too comfortable in Jungkook's arms and his scent.

____

Jungkook kept that with him.

He was happy that Jimin was comfortable enough to relax around him, to joke, to sing and dance and be himself and smile and laugh.

That's all Jungkook wanted. For Jimin to be truly happy. And if this was what made him happy then he was going to do it. And happily at that!

"Just...ask him out this time...?" Yoongi looked at him in confusion, drinking a little.

Jungkook shook his head. "I can't, he doesn't want that pressure and I won't give it to him." He shrugged, taking a sip from his own drink. "I'm not going to push on it, besides, I'm busy too."

"I know you keep saying that but Jungkook are you fine?" Jin sighed. "I know winter break is coming around the corner..."

"And I'm 19 I know." Jungkook sighed. "Still young."

"Give it time." Yoongi smiled at him. "He's obviously focusing on a different part of life at the moment, but he's still got you in his mind. So don't worry, just focus on you."

"Yeah? That's a good idea." Jungkook smiled a little. "I just...really like him. But you're right, I haven't focused on me in a while." Jungkook looked down at himself. "I have a little bit, but...not as much as I'd like."

"What about him is it exactly?" Seokjin pondered, poking at his food. "I don't see what you see obviously. He's really sure of himself but what like, exactly is it."

"He's perfect hyung." Jungkook smiled, looking at the table. "I love how kind he is. He's really sure of himself, he's funny, and he's sweet and caring, and he's so...honest. His nature...I just...who he is, that's what I can't get over."

Yoongi laughed a little. "Just kinda everything, hm?"

"Yeah." Jungkook looked up at him. "I just want him to see me the same way."

"I wish you the best." Seokjin ate while they spoke. "I feel like he's a little bit hard to convince."

"Not only that, but stubborn." Jungkook laughed a little. "I'm just listening to him, you know? Maybe I shouldn't try so hard. Maybe that would help him ease up."

"I just want you to be happy." Seokjin glanced at him. "We all just want that for you."

"Ah, please, I'm trying my hardest." Jungkook shook his head, taking a bite of his food. "I want to have a life with him."

"It's been a year."

"It's been multiple years and yet I still just...can't get him out of my head." Jungkook sighed happily. "I want him to think of me too."

"I think he does. He thinks about you enough to think about what a future would be like." Yoongi nodded. "So that's something."

"It is! But it isn't enough." Jungkook leaned back in his chair. "Maybe I should stop trying to date him."

"Would that make you happy?"

"I dunno, it might take it off my conscious for a while." Jungkook thought about it. "I mean, it's not something that's constantly on my mind anymore. But I'm thinking about it now cause he's coming soon." Jungkook smiled a little. "I bet he looks even more handsome now."

Yoongi look at Seokjin, Seokjin shaking his head. "This isn't on me."

"Jungkook..." Yoongi looked at Jungkook.

"What am I missing?" Jungkook looked between them. "What?"

"You should really tell him..." Yoongi sighed. "I mean...you talk about him more than you think."

"What do you mean? I don't talk about him that much." Jungkook shook his head. "Right?" He looked between them. "...right?"

"Jungkook..." Seokjin sighed. "You talk about him all year round."

"Oh! Fun." Jungkook pouted. "I didn't realize, I'm sorry."

"No no, it's fine, we just- we're concerned for you. We want you to be happy."

"Well, I'll see how this year goes. If Jimin is still defensive then I won't push it." Jungkook shrugged. "Simple as that."

"And you still won't text him outside of the three weeks? Wouldn't he be fine with that?" Yoongi tried to help, but Jungkook shook his head.

"I don't want to text him." Jungkook sighed. "I'm bad at texting and he doesn't want contact past the three weeks."

"Has he said that?"

"Y-" Jungkook paused. "No? Not explicitly, but he always says just these three weeks."

"...of you two being together. But not about your friendship, right?"

"I guess I've never asked." Jungkook laughed a little in awe. "I guess I've never really asked about our friendship, I was just...pestering him about a relationship."

"So...that could be a step." Yoongi shrugged at him. "If you want."

"I'm just scared is all." Jungkook took another sip. "I'm also scared about taking it further." Jungkook hummed, thinking about it. "I don't know. It's scary."

"I know." Seokjin smiled at him. "But isn't it better to try?"

____

Jungkook walked Bam again, happy to have the winter break at their vacation home. His parents happily letting him loose into the city for the day. Jungkook really did like Christmas and New Years, but he knew that he looked forward to it more because of Jimin.

He really did feel like one of his best friends, yet they only saw each other for three weeks.

He happily walked Bam, looking ahead to see a couple cars in front of Jimin's vacation home, smiling wide. He knew Jimin would be constantly looking out the kitchen window, as he always did every year.

He watched the door open, Jimin poking his head out with a smile. "Jungkook! Give me a second I need a coat!"

Jungkook nodded, stopping in front of his house and kneeling down, Bam coming in between his legs for warmth. Jungkook pet him, waiting for Jimin to come outside.

God he looked so cute, as he always did every year. Cute, handsome, smiling and soft, Jimin came out the front door, a beanie and snow coat now covering him.

"Hi Jimin." Jungkook smiled at him fondly. "You look adorable, did you get a new coat?"

"I did!" Jimin showed it off a little before kneeling down, petting Bam as well. "I missed you." He whispered with a smile, making Jungkook's stomach flutter with butterflies.

"I missed you too." Jungkook whispered back. "How've you been? You seem happier." Jungkook couldn't erase his smile.

Jimin pulled down Jungkook's mask with his finger, smiling once he did. "I missed your face."

Jungkook blushed but still couldn't stop smiling. "You look so handsome hyung, yet so cute. How have you been?"

"I'm good." Jimin laughed a little. "I'm really good, I feel alright this year."

"That's so good to hear!" Jungkook laughed happily, his hand going over Jimin's. "That's so good to hear."

Jimin smiled at him, moving his hand. "Not in that way. Just in...a general way."

"Oh, okay." Jungkook kept his smile, petting his dog again. "I'm still glad to hear it."

"How about you? How are you feeling this year?" Jimin asked him softly.

"I'm doing really well." Jungkook smiled. "Yes in that way and in other ways. I got some more piercings."

"I'm so happy for you!" Jimin looked at him with pure happiness. "That's awesome! Actually...do you want to come inside? I'm waiting for things to get out of the oven."

"Can I?"

"Yeah, my parents are okay with Bam coming inside." Jimin pet his face, looking at Bam with a smile. "He's so cute."

"They'll let him in this time?"

"Yeah! Come inside." Jimin smiled at him. "Please."

"Of course!" Jungkook stood up, Bam excitingly jumping up once. "I'd love to."

"Perfect."

Jimin led him inside, Jungkook getting Bam's then his own shoes off before he got some layers off, Jimin getting some off as well.

He stood up, looking at Jimin for where to go next before he looked over him. Jungkook stared at Jimin's ass, dumbfounded as he blushed red.

Jimin looked at him and blushed pink when they made eye contact. They both knew what that meant.

____

"Ah! Jungkook- Jungkook please-" Jimin moaned, his thighs shaking as Jungkook tongued inside his hole, grabbing his ass tightly.

Jungkook simply continued, getting his tongue in as far as possible. He didn't know Jimin had worked on his ass, but by god he wanted to do a lot of things now. He couldn't rest easy until knowing what it was like to have Jimin's ass on his face, wouldn't rest easy until he got inside him like this.

"Jungkook!" Jimin gasped out, grabbing the bed sheets tighter. "P-please just- just get inside-"

Jungkook pulled out, wiping his mouth. "No way, you're going to cum from my tongue. Your ass is just...so perfect." Jungkook grinned before going back in, his neck a little sore but he wasn't going to stop until Jimin came.

"Jungkook please, please get inside just fuck me-" Jimin whined, begging and pleading as his thighs shook, slowly losing his ability to hold himself up.

Jungkook simply continued, pulling Jimin's ass closer to him. He ran his hands to Jimin's thighs, almost laughing as he felt them shake under his touch. It was too perfect, too lovely, almost too much but somehow not enough.

Jimin patted his thigh, simply panting and struggling to get any words out. Jungkook gave a hum in response, happy to know that Jimin was close. He patted his thigh quicker. "Ah- ah- Jungkook! Jungkook, Jungkook-" Jimin moaned his name as he came, grabbing onto Jungkook's thigh tightly as he shook.

Jungkook pulled out slowly, rubbing Jimin's ass soothingly as Jimin collapsed onto Jungkook's body, panting.

Jungkook rested his neck, staring at Jimin's ass, still rubbing it. "You're really hot hyung. Like, so fucking attractive." Jimin panted, trying to get off of Jungkook, but Jungkook didn't let him, abusing his strength for a moment to keep him on top of him. "No no, stay."

"J-Jungkook." Jimin tried to catch his breath, shaking as he tried to sit up. "F-fuck."

"Good?" Jungkook pulled him back down, not done staring at his ass.

"Fuck off." Jimin sighed heavily. "Stop being good at everything you try, it's not fair!" He laid on top of Jungkook, defeated. "...you didn't even get off."

"I'll be fine, don't worry." Jungkook grinned. "I'm more than happy just getting you off, but you probably got cum on my pants." Jungkook hummed, holding Jimin's thighs again, widening his legs just for fun.

"Ah- Jungkook please." Jimin whined. At this point, Jimin was laying on Jungkook's abdomen, ass high up in the air by Jungkook's face. "Let me lay down."

"I'm not done." Jungkook kept his smile. "Don't know when I will be."

"Jungkook, really, let me lay down."

"Lay on top of me. My parents won't be home till later tonight, I want to see you naked for as long as possible." Jungkook hummed, happy to his core. "...thank you Jimin."

"Why're you thanking me?" Jimin laughed a little before groaning at Jungkook's touches. "Fuck, stop it Jungkook."

"Sorry." Jungkook laughed and stopped widening his legs. "Just love you." He smiled before blushing. "I- I mean! I love how you react, it's so cute." Jungkook blushed darker, embarrassed to say such a thing.

Jimin rested his head on Jungkook's abdomen. "...it's okay...I...don't mind actually, so you don't have to apologize." Jimin spoke quietly, Jungkook able to feel the heat off his cheeks. "...just not ready for another round yet."

Jungkook hummed, knowing Jimin was ignoring what he said. "...was it good?"

"Fuck off, seriously." Jimin laughed. "I hate how good you are at everything. Like, yeah, it feels good, but come on, you're supposed to be bad at first!" He kissed Jungkook's hipbone, slowly resting his hips down on Jungkook's chest, flinching just a little before relaxing. "...should've gotten you off."

"Still can." Jungkook spoke cheekily, laughing when Jimin bit his hipbone instead. "Sorry! I got too excited didn't I? I didn't even take off my pants, I was a little...one track minded."

"I've never seen you get my clothes off so fast before." Jimin laughed a little. "Ah...you're fucking...hot." He blushed a little. "When did you get so...so...dominant..."

"Mmm~ when did I decided I wanted to really top you." Jungkook hummed, bitting Jimin's ass softly. "Just want to make you feel good."

"What about you?" Jimin asked him quietly.

"What about me?"

"What about making you feel good?" Jimin gnawed on Jungkook's skin again, obviously just trying to have contact.

"Jimin, I'm gunna be honest, hearing you moan and shit is all I need to feel good." Jungkook laughed a little.

"But you're hard." Jimin sounded sad.

"It'll go away." Jungkook reassured him. "I got hard from you, sorry."

"Can I?..."

Jungkook mused at the idea. "Can you what?"

"Can I take care of you?"

"Can I tongue your ass again?" Jungkook grinned.

"S-sure. I'm- I can- I can go again." Jimin stuttered, obviously embarrassed. "But...if you do...I might not be able to finish...you..."

"That's okay. I can always finish myself off."

"No way, not while I'm here." Jimin huffed as he slowly pushed Jungkook's sweats down a little. "If anything...I want you to fuck me."

"Aww, have you had enough teasing?" Jungkook laughed, rubbing Jimin's thighs. "But I like having your ass in my face, it's a lovely feeling."

Jimin blushed more, shaking his head a little as he pushed Jungkook's boxers down just past his cock. "You're weird...most people...wouldn't like that..."

"Does it feel good?" Jungkook ran his hands to Jimin's ass.

"...yes..." Jimin whispered.

"Then it's worth it. Besides...your ass..."

Jimin smacked Jungkook's thigh lightly. "Stop saying that."

"Why? I like it, it's...really attractive. So fucking hot." Jungkook laughed a little. "Do you not like me looking at your ass?"

"I didn't say that." Jimin huffed. "I just get embarrassed to hear it. It's just...it's nothing big."

"I beg to differ." Jungkook raised an eyebrow. "It's really big."

"Shut up."

"Gladly." Jungkook bit Jimin's ass cheek, happy to leave a mark only he would see.

"Ah! Jungkook!" Jimin gasped. "Y-you'll- you'll bruise me-"

"Yeah. Make it hard to sit, but goddamn you're going to look so good with my marks." Jungkook couldn't help his thoughts roaming, couldn't help his want to mark him and make Jimin think about him even more and more and more. He wanted Jimin to think about him all the time, wanted Jimin to look at his own body and want Jungkook there with him, or just think about him at all.

"I- I don't know how to make an excuse for t-that." Jimin shivered. "D-don't- don't make it- it impossible to s-sit."

"I'll make it possible for you to sit on my lap." Jungkook bit another mark in, happy to see Jimin's ass become red from the bite marks he'd made now and previously. "Maybe I should mark your thighs too, make you look even more pathetic and so goddamn cute. Oh fuck me." Jungkook groaned as he thought about Jimin wearing shorts, his red and purple thighs visible from underneath them. That made his cock twitch.

"Ah...you're rather forward at the moment." Jimin spoke quietly, holding Jungkook's base and slowly starting to lick.

"Mmm~ sorry, I'm- 'm kinda holding back right now." Jungkook mumbled, trying to clear his head, but Jimin's tongue was making it hard to think. 

"Then don't hold back."

"You wouldn't be walking if I held back. You know I only have sex in these three weeks. That's a whole year without it."

"You know, you could with someone else." Jimin hummed in disapproval. "Not that I'd be happy with that."

"No way I could. I don't think I can since I know what it's like to do it with you." Jungkook laughed a little before he shuddered, Jimin's tongue working on his tip. "Y-you're everything." Jungkook felt happy knowing that Jimin was uncomfortable with him sleeping with anyone else. He felt special. It felt real.

"Everything?"

"Couldn't be happier." Jungkook hummed before starting to slowly lap over Jimin's hole again.

"S-shameless." Jimin stuttered, making Jungkook laughed.

"Learned from you darling." Jungkook pushed his tongue inside, curling it just right to make Jimin shudder and gasp out.

"Ah!" He widened his legs immediately. "Holy shit, what the fuck?!"

Jungkook continued, laughing a little, trying to make Jimin cum again. He couldn't get over his voice. Jungkook only stuttered when Jimin got his mouth over his tip, taking about half of him. He made a noise before continuing, getting his tongue in as far as possible.

The both of them continued, obviously competing to make the other cum first. Jungkook tried to curl his tongue just right while Jimin tried to take him as far as possible.

Jungkook stuttered, coming first, groaning as he tried to keep going, wanting Jimin to cum again and again because of him.

Jimin popped off of him, swallowing and setting his head on Jungkook's thighs. "Ah! God, I'm so close!" Jimin moaned out, moving his hips back onto Jungkook's tongue. "Please! Please, please, finish me off!" Jimin begged.

Jungkook continued, his neck hurting a little, trying to come down from his high while still giving Jimin what he wanted. It only took one more curl of his tongue to make Jimin cum on his chest once again.

"Ah!~" Jimin collapsed, his thighs shaking as he fully laid on top of Jungkook. "Oh fuck, goddamn it, fuck." He panted, trying to sit up. "Fuck I'm so gross and sticky I'm so sorry- I- I ruined your sweats-"

"Don't worry sweetheart." Jungkook smiled happily, proudly. "I don't care."

"I'll get you new ones, they're totally- totally...you've got a lot of cum on them." Jimin blushed, still struggling to sit up. "Fuck me."

"Gladly." Jungkook rubbed his ass again, then his hips. "Sorry, sorry, let me help you." Jungkook slowly guided Jimin's hips to sit on his lower abdomen, sitting up himself. He helped Jimin lay down. "There. Better?"

"Fuck off." Jimin glared at him, a blush dark red on his cheeks. "I hate how good you are at everything you try."

Jungkook grinned, kissing his cheek. "Thank you hyung. Need anything? Let me get you something hyung, what do you need?" Jungkook stayed sitting up, looking over Jimin's body.

"I think I need a shower." Jimin laughed a little. "But my ass feels too weird right now."

"Weird? You sure were moaning loudly to call it weird." Jungkook raised an eyebrow but got up. "I'll start a bath. Need...any food? Let me get you some fruit." Jungkook puttered around, changing his sweats for the time being. "Anything else?"

"Um..." Jimin blushed a little at the care. "...some water..."

"And a heating pad, right." Jungkook snapped his fingers and went to start the bath before venturing into the kitchen. He started to cut up a pear and an orange, getting a water bottle as well, throwing a heating pad into the microwave.

The front door unlocking made Jungkook immediately panic, looking at the time before looking at himself in only sweats, utterly shirtless.

His mother came inside, looking at Jungkook with slight shock. "Hi, I didn't expect you to be here. You're usually out with Jimin."

"Home early?" Jungkook gathered his things, putting the water bottle and heating pad in his pockets.

"No no, just grabbing something." She looked over him. "Are you hungry? We can bring you back some food...is- is Jimin here?"

"Uhhhhhh, yeah." Jungkook hoped Jimin hadn't left any marks on his chest. He really really hoped that right now. "He's in my room, he got a little hungry."

"Then we can bring him some too." She smiled. "Well, I'll go get my purse and head out again, you two behave, don't burn the house down."

Jungkook smiled and nodded. "Love you mom."

"Love you too baby."

Jungkook hurriedly went back to his room, closing the door behind him. Jimin was in the bathroom, turning the water off and getting towels. "Hey. Was that your parents, are they home? I heard the door so I got in here."

"No no- well, it was my mom but she's heading out." Jungkook went to help him after setting down his things. "You alright? Anything too sore?"

Jimin smiled at him softly before getting in the tub. "I'm alright." He relaxed, closing his eyes and enjoying the heat. "Care to join me?"

Jungkook's chest fluttered. "Really?"

"Mhm." Jimin hummed, obviously tired. "I'd like your company."

"...in the tub?" Jungkook didn't want to get his hopes too high.

"Of course. I'm not inviting you to sit outside like a dog, I'm inviting you inside the tub." Jimin chuckled.

Jungkook blushed but got his sweats off and joined him. "Do you think my mom knows?"

"Mmm~ it's possible. But I think she thinks I'm a little too good for that." Jimin looked over him. "Or maybe now she knows."

"Ah! Did you leave any-"

"No no, sorry!" Jimin laughed. "Bad joke, I'm just saying since you went out like...mostly naked."

"I- it should be okay." Jungkook blushed a little. "Besides...they're good people. I think if I did tell them...they would be okay with it."

"That's amazing." Jimin smiled, slowly opening his eyes. Jungkook blushed more. Jimin looked so hot. "I think you'd be okay too."

"Yeah."

Jimin sat up. "Can I kiss you?"

Jungkook nodded, sitting up as well and meeting him half way. Jimin held the nape of Jungkook's neck, tilting his head a little to lick into Jungkook's mouth. He kept it going, pulling Jungkook closer to kiss him a little deeper.

He slowly pulled away, putting their foreheads together. His eyes were closed. "...you're a good person Jungkook."

Jungkook kissed him softly, eyes closed as well. "...I'm sorry if I'm pushing you into something you don't want..."

"I..." Jimin sighed, his other hand holding Jungkook's neck as well. "...I'm in a difficult position."

"Tell me about it. I want to be the best I can to you." Jungkook wanted to try. He wanted to try so badly.

"...I...I really do think I love you." Jimin let the words sit, settle, and stay. He put a finger over Jungkook's lips, not letting him speak or get excited. "...but. I'm graduating this year and then I'll get a job."

"W-what's the problem?" Jungkook's heart was tight from happiness and butterflies, but he knew that this wasn't going to go his way.

"I can't be with you if I get a job."

"You can." Jungkook whispered, keeping his eyes shut tight. "You could. We could."

"I- I don't think I could." Jimin shook his head a little, holding the nape of Jungkook's neck a little tighter. "I couldn't."

"Why not?" Jungkook asked quietly. "Why not? I'm...I'm here."

"When I get a job, everything going to be different. My entire- my entire world will be different."

"Let me be a part of it." Jungkook whispered, kissing him softly again. "Please."

"Can you be my friend?"

Jungkook's heart ached. "I could try." He would take anything to be a part of Jimin's life.

"Could you do it?"

"I don't know, but I'd try. If that's what you want, I'll do it."

Jimin shook his head. "No, you're right, I don't want that. I like you too much to just be friends, but I don't know what else to do. I don't know what else I can do, I'm a horrible liar."

Jungkook exhaled shakily. "I'm still sorry."

"Don't apologize, you're right." Jimin laughed a little. "I'm just too scared Jungkook, I'm sorry." Jimin opened his eyes, looking at Jungkook softly. "I have come to terms with things. But...I also can't do it."

"So you do love me?" Jungkook kept his eyes closed. He didn't want to see Jimin's face if he said no.

"I do." Jimin kissed him softly. "I knew I did, but...I still- I'm still so scared to be with you."

"But you're here with me right now! We're taking a bath together, talking about our possible future." Jungkook laughed a little, opening his eyes. "If we lived together-"

"No." Jimin looked down. "I'm sorry."

"Okay." Jungkook didn't press it this time. "Then I'll still be honest with you. I'll wait."

"Don't wait for me...please." Jimin let him go. "Please. It'll make me feel better."

"Hyung, I don't want to be too straightforward, but I don't want to be with anyone else." Jungkook leaned back, giving a small smile. "I'm not...seeing anyone else in my future."

"I..." Jimin laughed and leaned back as well. "You're so cheesy. A lot of young people do that you know, say there's only one person before they even know."

"Hyung." Jungkook sighed, a little annoyed. "I'm not young, I'm only two years younger than you. And 19 and 21 isn't a big deal, I'm- I know what I'm getting into. My hyungs did it, I know we could. I know we could."

"I still can't, I'm sorry." Jimin shrugged. "I'm not secure enough in myself. And I don't want you...to ever get hurt." He looked down then quickly back up.

Jungkook laughed a little. "Why would you be embarrassed to see my dick?"

"Cause you've gotta stop growing." Jimin looked to the side. "It's not fair."

Jungkook laughed more. "Hyung! You should be happy, that means even better sex."

"It's still unfair! You've gotten every good trait in the world, all of the luck."

"You're right, I'm the luckiest man in the world." Jungkook smiled at Jimin. "Who else has ever taken a bath with you? Kissed you in the bath too? Wow, I'm truly the luckiest."

Jimin laughed a little. "...you're cheesy."

____

Jungkook could tell that this year was better. Jimin did seem genuinely happier, however busy and disheveled, but his attitude was simply lighter than usual.

Today, they went to see the lights hung up in the neighborhood.

"Wow! I love that house, look at their colors!" Jimin pointed them out as Jungkook drove slowly.

"I always love your house." Jungkook smiled. "You guys care a lot."

"It's one of the only times we're all home."

"What about summer?"

"Mmm." Jimin shrugged a little. "Mom and Dad still work during the summer."

"Right. But you still see them at night, right?" Jungkook glanced at him.

"Not always." Jimin smiled a little. "They have business trips throughout the year. They just take this time off."

"Oh." Jungkook nodded in understanding. "So Christmas is really special."

"It is." Jimin gasped. "Oh my god look of their penguins!"

Jungkook smiled and looked at them. "So hyung...if this is your only time to be with your parents, why do you spend all this time with me?"

"Hm? I thought it was obvious by now." Jimin laughed and leaned closer to Jungkook, grabbing his chin and kissing him softly. "I love you." He laughed lightly before looking back at the lights. "Oh my god more penguins! I think every house should have penguin decorations during the holidays."

Jungkook couldn't help but melt into a smile. This cute, wonderful, perfect man that he'd fallen for. Jungkook couldn't be any happier about it. This feeling, this moment. Jungkook wanted to remember it forever, he wanted to remember the love of his life getting excited over such a small thing, wanted to remember how happy Jimin was in this moment.

He wanted to remember this feeling of pure joy.

"Oh hyung." Jungkook couldn't help but coo. "You're the holiday joy."

"Hm?"

"You're what brings joy to the holidays." Jungkook repeated himself. "That's all."

"Ah." Jimin blushed. "...that's very kind of you."

Jungkook grinned to himself, proud to make Jimin happy. God he was easy. Jungkook was so easy to make happy.

It was the simple things anyways.

Jungkook went around the neighborhood before parking in front of Jimin's house.

"Thank you so much Jungkook. It's one of my favorite parts of Christmas. Seeing everyone else celebrate it differently and special in their own ways...I love it." Jimin looked at him. "What do you love about the holiday season?"

"You." Jungkook smiled at him. "Your excitement. Your happiness. All of it, I love...watching you be happy. And you're so happy this year hyung, it makes me so full. I get replenished from your happiness."

Jimin blushed pink. "Oh. That's- that's so- I didn't know I did that for you."

"You really do." Jungkook leaned a little closer. "Can I have a kiss before your parents notice we're out here?"

Jimin laughed a little, meeting him halfway and kissing him softly once, twice, then once more. "There. That should suffice until tomorrow."

"You leave tomorrow, don't you?"

"Mhm." Jimin sighed a little sadly. "But I want to see you before I leave. Let's get breakfast?"

"Sure." Jungkook nodded. "What time?"

"If possible 9, though I might be late." Jimin collected his things from Jungkook's car.

"As usual." Jungkook laughed. "See you at 9."

"Yeah. Goodnight Jungkook."

"Goodnight Jimin."

____

Jimin graduated in the spring.

He couldn't have been happier to get out of college, happy that he could graduate with honors, yet all he could think about was how much happier he would be if Jungkook could've been there.

Jungkook would've brought flowers, taken him out to eat, celebrated with him, probably would've asked how late he wanted to stay up.

It felt weird to think about a boy he only sees three weeks out of the year more times than he thought about his own friends. Jimin tsk'd. No, Jungkook was a grown man now. And they were...basically dating. Right? Basically.

He sort of...wondered how it would be to have him around.

But it wasn't going to last much longer. That's why Jimin knew he had to be as happy as possible when he was with him in those precious moments. Cause after he got a job, after he got busy with work, meetings, conversations and parties, it was going to come up over and over again.

People would start to ask Jimin about a future wife. Or perhaps, a current girlfriend. Perhaps when he'll be married, when he'll have children, when he'll finally "tie the knot," but Jimin didn't want any of that with someone else.

He didn't think he could even kiss someone else at this point, not to mention have an entire life with them. Besides...he hated the idea of Jungkook with anyone else.

And he knew Jungkook didn't like the idea of anybody else with him, so...

No. No he couldn't.

Jimin must've looked out of it enough for his best friend to notice.

"Hey, this is your celebration meal, not a time to be sad." Taehyung gave him a funny look. "What's on your mind?"

"Ah, nothing really." Jimin smiled at him.

"Don't give me that fake ass smile, tell me what's wrong." Taehyung wasn't taking it. "Let me hear it."

Jimin sighed, his smile gone. "I should be happy right now. But...all I can think about is if Jungkook was here. I want him to meet you and Hoseok, I want to...have him here with me. You know? He would've loved to see me graduate."

"...so you miss him."

"Yeah."

"And you want him to meet me?"

"Yes." Jimin looked at him expectantly.

"So you love him." Taehyung said it as a statement.

"I-" Jimin sighed heavily. "Yes. I do."

"And...? What're you going to do about it?" Taehyung took a bite from his food. "He's confessed plenty of times, when have you confessed?"

"I did! Once." Jimin sat back in his chair. "Twice."

"And...he's confessed how many times?"

Jimin sighed. "More than I can count."

"Okay, so do you need me to lay this out for you?"

"Please." Jimin looked at him sadly. "How can I want him and a future?"

"Well...first you have to get over the idea that it's the end of the world, cause it's not. And second...you have to go to him first."

"What?"

"Go to him first. He's meeting you at like, 60 while you're at 40, it's not even. He's reaching and you're retracting. Only last year did you reach out a little. You're making the poor thing stretch thin." Taehyung shrugged. "I'm not going to tell you what to do, but...from what I can see from what you've said, that's how it is."

"So I should meet him halfway." Jimin nodded.

"You should meet him more than halfway, give him a little break." Taehyung laughed a little.

____

Jungkook hung out with his friends on one of their breaks. They talked about the upcoming Christmas break and other things, Jungkook's mind only on seeing Jimin.

"Don't you think it's odd though? When people walk around happily saying that they're expecting a baby?" One of his friends rolled their eyes, the four of them talking about the "surprise" that a couple at their work had done. "I don't want to hear that they got knocked up."

"But wouldn't you be proud? Being a parent is something that's important!" A second argued. "If you and your girlfriend had a baby, or if she was pregnant, wouldn't you tell us?"

"Yeah, I'd tell you guys. But like- come on, you've gotta agree that saying you fucked consistently for months is weird, right? That's private."

Jungkook nodded. "I think it's nice to say you're going to be a parent, but...I don't want to hear how long people have tried for." He tilted his head. "That's a little weird."

"Thank you."

"Okay but you aren't embarrassed or awkward when we talk about having sex with our girlfriends." The fourth friend looked at the first in confusion.

"That's guy talk." He rolled his eyes again.

"It's the same thing! Except a much bigger deal."

"I don't always want to hear about how you go down on your girlfriend either." The first poked fun, Jungkook sighing playfully.

"Then you're missing out." Jungkook laughed a little before biting his tongue.

"Jungkook?" His friends looked at him. "Care to share?"

Jungkook shook his head and laughed a little again, trying to play it off. "I'm just saying! You're missing out on possibilities."

"Mmm, you're a liar." The second friend ratted him out. "You've had a secret girlfriend this whole time? Or is she new?"

"You've already eaten her out too?" The first friend looked at him bewildered. "That fast?!"

Jungkook blushed red. "No no! R-really, I don't have a girlfriend!" Jungkook tried to save himself, but he knew it wouldn't go well. "I-"

"Ah, I see, I see." The third one nodded. "You aren't official."

"Ohhhh." The other two become hushed. "So this is a much more secrete- but- come on, you're supposed to wait till the second date at least-"

"It wasn't the second date!" Jungkook blushed but dug his own grave. "No, no now- now don't get-" Jungkook held up his hands in defense but his friends laughed.

"So you have! Third date then! Who is it? What did you do?" The first one was enthusiastic.

"You said you didn't want to hear it!" Jungkook tried to move past this.

"I said it's guy talk when it's us! You have a girlfriend!" The first one still tried to get it out of him.

"I don't have a girlfriend." Jungkook pouted, looking down. "Leave the topic alone, please."

"Okay. Then that's two votes for eating a girl out, right?"

Jungkook sighed heavily and nodded. He couldn't really explain that he enjoyed eating ass, but this would have to suffice to keep his friends quiet.

"...so you aren't dating?" The third friend asked quietly.

"No. No we aren't." Jungkook tried to keep it short.

"How often do you see each other?"

"Mmm...three weeks out of the year?" Jungkook shrugged.

"That's not much. Only 21 days out of the year? So it's...fuck buddies."

"No! No no, it's more than that." Jungkook reassured them, or maybe himself. "We- we we're close to dating. I'm just afraid Ji-" Jungkook stopped. "I'm afraid...she'll want to stop anything more."

"Ahhh...commitment."

"It's more than that." Jungkook sighed. "Anyways, we should get back to work. I can't sit here all day and chatter about my love life." Jungkook stood. "I'll...see you guys later."

"Bye Jungkook."

"Bye." Jungkook headed off, a little upset and sad.

He didn't know what to do, really, with Jimin. He loved him beyond words and actions, loved him so much that it hurt sometimes.

Yet...he truly believed that Jimin would end up with him at the end. He truly believed it.

They'd confessed. They'd kissed. They'd fucked. Bathed together, slept together, drove, watched movies, had dinners and breakfasts and stayed up all night just talking and laughing and enjoying one another's company.

How were they only fuck buddies? They weren't, they couldn't be. Jimin was just too scared, and Jungkook respected that. He understood that. It's not like he was out to his friends...he understood that now.

But he still didn't fully understand Jimin's fear. If he was really with Jimin...he...probably would say he was with a man. Hell...he could've tried it out today. Maybe he'd try it out next time. He trusted them a little bit, but...but he understood the fear of telling them.

He sat at his desk, tapping away at his computer when the third friend came over, peaking his head around the corner. "Hey.."

"Oh! Hi. What's...what's up? Do I need to send you a copy of something?" Jungkook looked over his papers.

"No no, I was just...checking in on you." He sat down in Jungkook's cubical. "...seems like it was bugging you and you didn't even tell any of us."

Jungkook smiled at him. "Sentimental now, aren't we? Why?" He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms.

"...well..." he sighed a little. "I get it. You know." He seemed like he was trying to be polite. "My hyungs have friends who I know date. So if it's a boy problem...I understand."

Jungkook shook his head. "Don't worry about it Yugyeom." He spoke softly.

"I want to be a good friend. You've always been good to me." He rolled his eyes. "Besides. My hyungs are also rather...flirtatious with one another. I get it. Your hyungs are also rather flirtatious. I get it."

Jungkook shook his head again. "I still mean it, I don't want you to worry about it." He smiled. "It doesn't matter if I'm not dating a girl or not dating a boy...he still won't date me."

"Why not?"

"He's scared." Jungkook swiveled in his chair. "I get it. But yeah. It's something alright. I really like him Yugyeom." Jungkook looked up at him. He was desperately trying to make this as normal of a conversation as possible. "But he's not ready."

"Ah, I get it. It's a lot more...hush hush, isn't it." He shrugged. "I mean, I don't really know, I'm just around a lot of people."

"Yeah, it's more hush hush." Jungkook sighed a little sadly. "I mean, I care a lot less than he does."

"Obviously. Well...I hope the next time you see him it's a nice time." Yugyeom stood up and patted his shoulder. "And really...I do mean it. If you ever want to talk about it, I'm all ears."

"Thank you." Jungkook smiled at him. "I mean it too. Don't worry too much."

"Fine. I'll take you out to dinner one of these days with my hyungs." Yugyeom smiled at him. "Okay?"

"Okay."

____

Jimin arrived at the vacation home, happier than ever to relax. He couldn't help but rest on the couch for a while before he went to bake something.

He stared out the window as he washed dishes, his mother helping him. "You're tired today, aren't you? You should rest honey."

"Mmm~ I want to bake." Jimin smiled at her tiredly. "The drive here took a toll on me this time, that's all." He really wanted to see Jungkook, recharge his energy, just...cuddle and talk. He really wanted to just cuddle and talk.

He finished his bake, still staying in the living room so he could peak out the front window in hopes to see Jungkook. He was a little later than usual.

Actually a lot later than usual.

He wondered why, but...he didn't know if he was...allowed to text him. They never did. Usually not even when they were here, yet...Jimin did think about texting him a lot.

He thought about calling him on Jungkook's graduation and then on his own, but...he couldn't do it. He didn't know what to say or what to do and he over thought it and then couldn't do it. But Jungkook usually wasn't this late!

He always came earlier than Jimin. So why- no no, he was just overthinking this.

"Jimin sweetie...you should lay down and rest." His mother spoke softly, Jimin not even noticing that she was in the room.

"Hm? Oh. I'm alright mom, just..." he stared out the window.

"Waiting for Jungkook?" She smiled a little.

"Yeah."

"It's getting late. If he does stop by...well, just invite him for the night, the suns setting. I know there's no stopping you from staying up for him."

"Thanks mom." Jimin smiled tiredly at her.

"I'll make you something warm to drink." She went off to the kitchen, Jimin still looking out the window in hopes of seeing his favorite person. He just wanted to see that lover boy at his doorstep yet again.

He just...still needed to believe in love. Still needed to be reminded of it. He still needed to be reminded that he was able to be loved. Worthy of it. Capable of giving it back.

He needed it.

His mother handed him a cup. "Here. Keep yourself warm honey, relax for a while." She smiled a little tiredly at him. "...go to bed if it gets too late, okay?"

"Thank you mom." He smiled at her. "Thank you."

She put a blanket over him. "Of course."

Jimin spent more time on the couch, drinking warm tea, playing some Christmas music on the tv as he looked out the window, waiting to see if Jungkook would show up.

Hoping.

He felt tired, his head resting against the couch as he tried to stay awake.

He must've dozed off a tiny bit when a knock made him open his eyes. He slowly got up, rubbing his eyes as he opened the door.

"Jimin! I'm so sorry I'm late, congratulations on your graduation!" Jungkook was out of breath, holding out a large bag and a bouquet towards Jimin. "I- I came back late today instead of yesterday morning, I'm so sorry hyung."

Jimin took the bag in surprise. "J- Jungkook, come inside, I-" he looked over him in surprise.

Jungkook bowed and came inside, taking his shoes off. "I'm really sorry hyung." He set the bouquet down on the kitchen counter.

"No no, it's okay." Jimin smiled a little, leading Jungkook to the living room. "It's a little late is all."

"I'm so sorry I'm late- I- I could've- I thought about- well." Jungkook sighed and sat on the couch next to Jimin. "I could've texted you." Jungkook looked over him. "You look tired hyung."

"Did you run here?" Jimin smiled at him.

Jungkook nodded. "I don't have the car this time so I had to run. But don't mind that, please! Open your gifts." He smiled at him.

Jimin smiled softly at him. "Thank you. Thanks for coming."

"Of course! I should've been here earlier, I'm really sorry hyung." Jungkook looked genuinely upset. If Jimin was any amount of angry, he thought he'd cry. "Open." He smiled, trying to play off his guilt.

"Thank you for the gift."

"Multiple!" Jungkook smiled a little more.

"Multiple? You're too kind." Jimin smiled at him softly. "I should've gotten you something."

"No need."

Jimin opened his present, smiling at the box of chocolates, then a small box, and a larger box. "Well what do I open first?"

"Either, really." Jungkook smiled. "Maybe the small one first."

Jimin opened the smaller box, taking the time to look through each and every ring that was in there. "Oh wow...thank you Jungkook." Jimin looked up at him. "These are lovely."

"You're always wearing some, I thought it was only appropriate to get something you'd actually like." Jungkook laughed nervously. "Um, um the second gift is a little more personal..."

"Aw, are you embarrassed?" Jimin couldn't keep the smile off his face. "Anything from you is amazing Jungkook, please understand that."

"T-then open it." Jungkook blushed a little. "...I put a lot of work into it hyung, I hope you like it."

Jimin nodded and slowly unwrapped the gift, smiling wide when he saw it. "It's beautiful Jungkook, thank you so much."

"I'm so sorry I'm late." Jungkook put his hand on Jimin's knee. "I didn't mean to make you worry." 

Jimin stared at the painting that Jungkook made. "Don't worry about it Jungkook, I'm not mad at all." He laughed a little, still in awe. "You made this?"

"Yeah." Jungkook pouted. "Is it alright?"

"Is it alright? Jungkook this is wonderful." Jimin couldn't really look away. "It's beautiful."

"It's um- well, I guess it's how you make winter feel for me." Jungkook tightened his grip on Jimin's knee.

Jimin put his hand over Jungkook's, turning to him and kissing his cheek softly. "I love it Jungkook. It's absolutely stunning."

The painting was of a couple looking at one another while walking down a busy downtown street. The night sky was out, snow was falling, and Christmas lights ran up and down the street, obvious joy and color lighting up the scene. And yet the couple were only looking at each other.

"I can't...this is beautiful Jungkook." Jimin couldn't stop looking at it. "How can I ever repay you?"

"By forgiving me for being late." Jungkook looked sad when Jimin looked at him.

"Jungkook, I was never upset." Jimin smiled at him, tightening his hand on Jungkook's. "I knew you'd come, and you did, didn't you? So I'm not upset." Jimin shook his head. "Not at all."

Jungkook exhaled shakily before moving closer. "You sure?"

"Yeah." Jimin whispered, smiling happily at him. "You look so handsome today. You're really growing into your face more and more each year." Jimin touched his cheek gently after setting the painting to the side. "You know that right?"

"Thank you Jimin." Jungkook rested into his hand. "I did a lot this past year."

"I see! You look different. So handsome." Jimin smiled, humming happily as he thumbed over Jungkook's cheek. "So very handsome."

Jungkook melted into a smile. "You think so?"

"Of course Jungkook." Jimin leaned closer and kissed him softly. "Of course."

"Jimin." Jungkook whispered, taking Jimin's face into his hands. "When?"

Jimin closed his eyes. "Jungkook..."

"When Jimin?" Jungkook was exasperated. "Please Jimin, when, I want- I want to- I- I can't...wait...Jimin. Every single year I see you and I just...feel so much happiness. I get your joy and I just hope that you feel mine. I want to see you-"

"Stop it. Stop it right now Jungkook, you know I can't." Jimin opened his eyes and frowned. "Don't make me feel bad."

"We could, I know we could, I've already- I have friends who know and still treat me the same-"

"I don't, Jungkook." Jimin let go of him. "I have two friends who love me unconditionally, but I don't have a community like you. I can't drop everything for you." Jimin looked at the painting. "Even...even if it's when I'm happiest."

"Jimin..." Jungkook put his hand on his knee again, but Jimin stood up. "I'm sorry, I keep doing this-"

"Stop. Come to bed with me." Jimin looked at him and shook his head. "Stay the night if you can."

"Okay." Jungkook spoke quickly. "I'll stay, but...I'm still sorry." He tried to take Jimin's hand but he pulled away. "Please." Jungkook whispered. "Please Jimin."

"Wait." Jimin whispered back, leading him to his room. He closed the door quietly behind them, going over to a wall to see where to hang up the painting.

Jungkook sat on the bed, still...bothered.

Jimin hummed before standing in front of Jungkook, fitting himself in between his legs. "What's the matter Jungkook?" He held his cheeks again, making them have eye contact.

"I want to be with you Jimin, please. I don't want to wait any more, I just...love you." Jungkook pouted.

"Don't say it so lightly." Jimin looked at him sadly.

Jungkook glared at him. "I don't."

"You say it so easily." Jimin couldn't help but feel sad about it.

"Because it's easy to say, I love you and I want to see you smile. Please, let's ignore it for now, I'm sorry I took away your smile." Jungkook looked down. "Let's just ignore it." He bit his lip, trying not to cry.

"Hey..." Jimin spoke softly, pulling Jungkook's face upwards slowly. "What's wrong? What's bugging you right now?" He kissed his forehead, then his cheeks, then his nose. "Tell me."

Jungkook shook his head. "It's nothing hyung."

"Say my name Jungkook, don't worry." Jimin smiled at him, kissing his lips softly. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothings wrong! I'm happy I'm here with you Jimin." Jungkook brought him closer, giving him a fake smile. His put his hands on Jimin's waist. "I'm happy."

"No you're not." Jimin whispered. "Tell me what's wrong Jungkook."

"Stop it, stop thinking somethings wrong, nothings wrong." Jungkook smiled at him before his eyes started to water and he pursed his lips.

Jimin sighed and pulled his head into his stomach, hugging him. "Okay. I won't push it."

Jungkook's arms went around him, hugging him back. He closed his eyes, trying not to cry. "...I'm...I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." Jimin rubbed his back. "You haven't done anything wrong."

"I just...miss you."

"You miss me enough to cry?" Jimin laughed a little, not trying to tease him. "I can't tell if that's sweet of you or if I should be concerned."

"Jimin...is there even a future with you and me? Should I stop trying?" Jungkook whispered. "...I'm not...satisfied being like this."

Jimin took his time to answer, thinking about the best way to go around this. Jungkook was a sweet man, truly, the best he'd ever met, but he was right to question this. It was hard to commit to someone for only three weeks out of a year. "I don't know. Not this year. But...you said you'd be my friend..."

"And I'll gladly still be your friend." Jungkook tightened his grip, Jimin trying to sooth him. "B-but I want to- to have more. I wanted to be there for your graduation and- and I want to- to be there for you all the time." Jungkook started to cry, hiccuping as he tried to speak. "I can't- can't deny it anymore J-Jimin, I love you, I just love you and I can't- can't change that."

"I don't want you to change that." Jimin wanted to comfort him more. He couldn't stand it when Jungkook cried; he always ended up crying as well.

"I'm sick of waiting Jimin!" Jungkook looked up at him, his eyes red. "I'm sick of it."

Jimin flinched a little, his eyes watering too. "I can't do it Jungkook, you know this." He spoke quietly.

"You can." Jungkook took his hands, sniffing and letting his tears roll down his cheeks. "You said you love me, why can't you just forget everyone else?"

"Because I can't give up everything I've worked for just for you." Jimin pulled his hands away. "It doesn't work like that."

"Then together-"

"Stop it." Jimin shook his head. "You know it doesn't work like that. I can't do that, you can't possibly understand-"

"Then help me understand!" Jungkook cried harder, wiping his eyes repeatedly with the back of his sleeves. "Help me understand, I don't like that I can't help you. All I want is- is to help you."

Jimin sighed, grabbing Jungkook's face and kissing him. "You can't help me." He looked in his eyes.

"You won't let me try?" Jungkook was frowning, his tears pouring into Jimin's hands. "I want to make you smile...I'm not a little boy Jimin, my heart is yours." He looked down, closing his eyes. "It's entirely yours, so please...please, I'm in your care."

"Stop it." Jimin whispered to him. "You're my friend first Jungkook...please...don't make this harder."

Jungkook nodded, unable to stop crying, absolutely defeated. He hung his head, his hands going to hold his face as he sat on the edge of the bed, just crying.

Jimin slowly moved onto the bed, going behind Jungkook and hugging him.

He couldn't help but cry into his back, hating how sad Jungkook sounded and was. He couldn't take this sadness away.

He knew Jungkook finally understood the true reality of it. The true sadness, the true heartbreak of not being able to be together.

Jungkook shook, sobbing into his hands as Jimin held him.

____

They had a much rougher three weeks this time.

Jungkook was dull, rather lifeless as they tried to go out to breakfasts or movies. Instead, they mostly spend time in bed together, simply holding one another as they put on a movie they ignored.

Jimin didn't know how to make it better. He really didn't, because this is where he was at as well. He didn't know how to make Jungkook smile at the moment because he didn't know how to smile either.

They were both hopeless romantics losing their hope in their romance.

But...Jungkook still showed up to his house. And Jimin still showed up to Jungkook's. Still trying. Still caring. Still loving.

Jimin couldn't help but feel terrible about it. He wanted to make everything better but he knew he couldn't. He didn't have the ability to because he was still scared to start a real relationship with him as boyfriends.

He was still so scared. It scared him beyond words to allow himself to be happy.

Maybe Jungkook knew that. Maybe he understood. But it didn't change that he was scared.

Jimin stared at the painting that Jungkook had graciously given him.

That was love.

He knew that was love. And he knew that's how he and Jungkook truly felt, he knew that, he couldn't try to deny that...yet...he couldn't help but be too anxious to try. Worrying every second of his day, wondering if they'd get caught, or worse.

He stared at the painting for many more days.

____

Jungkook was bothered for another couple months. He had trouble really getting out of bed, eating right, working out, he didn't feel like doing anything.

His parents started to worry.

"Hey...want to go for a walk with me? Bam needs a walk..."

Jungkook sighed a little, laying in bed. "No thanks mom."

"...sweetheart..." she sat on the bed next to Jungkook, patting it. Bam jumped up on it, laying on top of Jungkook. "You haven't told me what's wrong, I know this isn't healthy, but I don't know how to help."

"I don't think you can help, I just need some time." Jungkook spoke quietly, his mother rubbing his shoulder.

"Go to the dog park with me?"

Jungkook exhaled slowly, closing his eyes. "...I just want to sleep, I'm tired."

"Mmm, no, come on, get ready for the dog park. Bam needs a good dad right now." She shook her head. "It's been a little bit too long, so let me help you get back on your feet. That's a parents job."

"Yeah? Does Bam need to be back on his feet?"

"He needs his dad to show him some love." She smiled and brushed his hair away, kissing him on the forehead. "Alright, time to get up! Let's get going."

Jungkook sighed but sat up, Bam immediately getting in his face in excitement. "Yeah yeah, alright. Time to get up."

Jungkook's mother treated him that day, getting a drink and pastry before going to the dog park, bringing treats so that other dogs would come up to them.

"So...you okay?"

"No. Not really." Jungkook pet the ears of someone else's dog. "I'm doing badly mom."

"Tell me about it."

Jungkook sighed. If his friends could understand...then his loving mother could. "Jimin turned me down over winter break. Even though we've both really shown interest in one other, but he's scared. I finally really asked him out and he said no."

"Oh sweetheart." She sighed heavily, taking one of Jungkook's hands and putting it in between her own. "We knew Jimin was someone more to you. I'm sorry to hear he turned you down, but I'm very very proud of you. That's a brave thing to do." She smiled as she looked down at their hands. "You've always been a brave young man."

Jungkook slowly rested his head on her shoulder. "...you've always been a good mom..."

"I can't help you with this, I don't have the experience." She hummed a little. "But with a day as lovely as today, we can't let things get us down. The sun has to rise, the leaves have to grow back, and buds have to bloom. Even if that means that once, the moon had risen, the leaves had fallen, and the buds had shriveled. Not every loss, is a failure. It is simply...a new beginning."

Jungkook nodded.

"Let your buds recover and bloom again Jungkook."

Jungkook pulled away and looked at her in shock. "Let them bloom? Shouldn't you be telling me to give up? Isn't it hopeless?"

"No, it's not hopeless. You just have to respect him, and be okay with his decisions. Your feelings are valid. But so are his."

Jungkook looked down. "But he'll never want what I want. Isn't that unfair to him?"

"Only if you're only thinking that you could date. It's unfair to assume that he'll ever want a relationship."

"Oh." Jungkook frowned. "Really?"

"If the expectation was to only ever date, when you thought you had a friend...yes. It's an odd feeling when that happens."

"Oh." Jungkook hummed, tilting his head. "What if...if he said he would date me but that he's too scared too."

"Then you respect that. Have you been good to him?"

"I have." Jungkook looked at her. "I've been everything I can for him."

"Then maybe...it's time you let him do everything he can for you." She smiled and let go of his hand, going to pet a dog. "You've been a good person to him. It's time to have him meet you halfway. I don't want someone slacking off if they're going to be with my son." She chuckled to herself. "He'd be a lovely addition to the family. He's practically already a part of it."

Jungkook smiled at her. "I love you so much mom. Do you think...dad will be okay with this?"

"Well, he better be!" She stood up, calling Bam over. "He's married to me, and my son likes Jimin." She smiled at him. "So. Are you ready to bloom again?"

____

A couple more years past.

Jungkook started to understand his place in Jimin's world. He was his friend. He was also a part time lover. But he wasn't heartbroken over it now. Now he understood Jimin a little better.

They sat on a balcony for dinner, drinking together slowly to make the night last.

"So. New career, hm?" Jimin smiled at Jungkook, Jungkook nodding with a smile back.

"Yeah. I finally got my job resume read after a little bit of push and pull, so I'm going to be a choreographer!" Jungkook laughed happily. "I'm going to be busy soon."

"I'm so glad you got out of that cubical." Jimin smiled at him happily. "You're the most beautiful when you're happy."

"I'm glad you can notice the difference Jimin." Jungkook looked over the balcony. "I can't believe we're getting old."

Jimin held his laugh. "Old? You're barely 24."

"24 and 26? That's something." Jungkook looked back at him. "Doesn't it make you think?"

"Mmm~ no, it only makes my coworkers think, not me. I'm still happy where I am." Jimin hummed, leaning on his hand, the other with a drink. "What about you? Still the same?"

"Still the same Jimin." Jungkook nodded, looking over the balcony again. "Can't uh...seem to catch feelings for anyone else. Sure there's attractive people but no one like you." Jungkook smiled. "This is beautiful, isn't it?"

"It truly is." Jimin kept his smile, looking at Jungkook. "I'm truly lucky. I couldn't ask for anything else."

Jungkook nodded, glancing at him before looking at him. His smile slowly faded. "Don't say that."

"Why not?" Jimin kept his smile, his cheeks a pleasant pink.

Jungkook laughed a little. "You can't ask if my feelings have changed and then say you're happy they haven't. You can't say that without pulling at my heart strings and you know that." He shook his head. "So don't say that."

Jimin looked down a little, bittersweet. "Sorry."

"Unless you want what I want...then you can say it."

"I never said I didn't want it." Jimin swirled his drink, staring at it now. "...just...scares me still."

"Jimin." Jungkook shook his head with a smile, reaching over and slowly setting Jimin's drink down. "You've had a lot to drink tonight."

Jimin glared at him a little. "I haven't over drank." He picked his drink up again. "I'm just talking, that's all."

"Hyung-" Jungkook wanted to change the subject at this point.

"Don't." Jimin looked at him. "Don't call me hyung when it's just us two, you know I like it when you're...special." Jimin tried to find the right word.

"You mean...like we're pretending to date."

"Yeah." Jimin nodded. "Yeah." He frowned. "I know you're upset about it."

"Ah, no no, Jimin, please, don't feel bad. I'm happy how we are." Jungkook shook his head, smiling a little now. Jimin was so cute when his cheeks were flushed. He reached over again, taking Jimin's hand. "I'm happy like this. We're having a lovely dinner, and I'm happy."

Jimin pouted. "That's hard to believe, I see how you look at me."

"Mhm, I know. But I am happy. Cause when I see you, I just- I- well, I can't help but smile." Jungkook squeezed his hand. "Doesn't matter if you can't date me, I still like you all the same." He shrugged. "I know that much."

Jimin pouted more, Jungkook looking at his lips. "But I feel bad."

"Then date me Jimin." Jungkook looked back at his eyes.

"But I can't." He set his drink down. "I don't know how."

"We just take it further than three weeks."

"Oh. You make it sound so simple."

"It is." Jungkook rubbed Jimin's hand. "Imagine if we lived together Jimin!" Jungkook laughed a little. "Date nights all the time. We can sleep next to each other every night. We wouldn't have to be quiet or sneaky, or cautious at all, and we could take our time when we fuck instead of worrying about parents." Jungkook laughed a little more. "We could make meals together, go to concerts and museums and anything Jimin, we could do anything."

Jimin blushed as he stared at Jungkook. "You really want that with me?"

"Of course! When haven't I expressed that?" Jungkook tilted his head a little, still smiling.

"I don't know. I guess I just kind of...forgot that you actually like me."

"I love you." Jungkook corrected him.

"Mmmmm." Jimin blushed more, looking down. He rubbed one of his cheeks, trying to calm down. "You say it so easily."

"Because it's true." Jungkook laughed. "God you're so cute Jimin. I want to kiss you so badly right now." He rubbed Jimin's hand again.

Jimin shook his head. "I- you're making me shy."

"Alcohol usually does the opposite for you." Jungkook teased him. "Is it because I'm being honest? You know I'm happy with you like this, right?"

"I know, but- but I just- I don't know, this is- I-" Jimin sighed heavily. "I just think about you all the time."

"Good."

"And I keep wanting to hear from you."

"Good!"

"And I just- this- I-" Jimin sighed heavily, looking up at him.

"...it's..." Jungkook mouthed the rest for Jimin to finally admit it.

"Not enough." Jimin said it.

"Yeah. It's not enough." Jungkook laughed.

"It's not." Jimin shook his head. "I want more time with you."

"Then let's make more time."

"No, no, I can't." Jimin shook his head. "I'm still- I still shouldn't."

Jungkook simply smiled at him. "But you deserve to be happy."

"You- you're trying to sell yourself to me, hm? Pitch yourself like a- like a commercial." Jimin laughed a little. "I don't deserve it."

"Why not? Do I deserve to be happy Jimin?"

"Oh of course!"

"And...what would make me the happiest is if I was with you." Jungkook prodded him on. "You know that, right?"

Jimin nodded, before he understood. "Oh."

"Mhm." Jungkook couldn't help but laugh. Jimin was so cute when he was tipsy. "Get it?"

"B-but in making you your happiest...I would have a lot of anxiety. What if-"

"No no, no "what if's," that's the point. We'd figure it out. That's what a relationship is Jimin...it's working together. Talking things out, making sure we're both happy. We've gotten so much better at communicating too."

Jimin looked at him with a soft sadness. "But I'd second guess myself. I do now! I still think you'd be happier with someone else."

Jungkook couldn't help but laugh out loud.

Jimin pouted.

"Sorry sorry! I just- you're so...so dumb sometimes." Jungkook laughed again, smiling at him dreamily. "We'd figure it out. I'll help you if you let me."

Jimin sighed. "I don't know...it's complicated."

"Then I'm still going to be patient. And be your friend, okay?"

"Jungkook. We're- we're past being friends, aren't we?"

"We're whatever you want to label us as." Jungkook kept his smile.

"Mmm. That puts a lot on me." Jimin put his free hand on top of Jungkook's.

"You know what I'd say though."

"That's true." Jimin hummed, thinking. "I don't know. It's all...still too much right now."

"Hey." Jungkook spoke softer. "As long as you know how I feel, then I trust you'll know how to take care of yourself." 

Jimin stared at him before his eyes lit up. "Ah! I get it!"

"Hm?" Jungkook smiled at him.

"I get it!" Jimin leaned closer to him, leaning on the table a little.

"What do you get?"

"I get it. You've always waited for me." Jimin shook his head a little. "I'm an idiot! You've always waited for me!"

"I have hyung." Jungkook laughed at how cute Jimin was. "I always have."

"How did I not notice?!" Jimin stood up, his hands on the table now to lean even closer to Jungkook. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"I did hyung." Jungkook laughed more, smiling softly.

"I'm an idiot." Jimin looked down. "Taehyung was right."

"Hm?"

"Stop calling me hyung." Jimin looked back at him. "And please, come closer, let me kiss you."

"Sit back down Jimin, you'll make a scene." Jungkook giggled, knowing they were the only people outside on the balcony in winter. Only a couple other families and couples were inside though, the night not particularly busy.

Jimin sat back down. "How are you supposed to kiss me when I'm sitting?"

"You probably don't want to kiss in public. At least not the sober you." Jungkook looked at him happily. "Okay? We can wait till we're in the car."

"I want to kiss you now." Jimin frowned. "You've always want to kiss me in public."

"Jiminie, please." Jungkook laughed. "I think you'd rather not."

"Come here." Jimin waved him to come closer. "Come on, come here, lean closer."Jungkook rolled his eyes with a smile before leaning forward, Jimin meeting him halfway and kissing him over the table. "See, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Of course not hyung." Jungkook melted into a smile, leaning on his hand and looking at him.

Jimin smiled a little too, sitting back in his chair. "You're handsome. You look so attractive when you're looking at me."

"Why exactly?" Jungkook wanted to hear Jimin talk about him.

"Cause your eyes are just- your eyes are just so pretty! And they get so big and you smile and you're so handsome." Jimin sighed happily. "Cause you're lookin' at me."

"Yeah. Cause I'm looking at you Jimin." Jungkook smiled. "Get it?"

"I get it." Jimin nodded. "I get it."

"Good. What um...what will you do now?"

"I'm not sure." Jimin picked up his drink again, taking a sip. "But I'll think- I'll think about it more."

"Hyung really, you've had enough to drink." Jungkook knew he was going to get backlash.

"I'm an adult Jungkook." Jimin pouted at him a little. "You think I don't know my own tolerance?"

Jungkook let the rest of the night be fun talking, until he knew Jimin was too cold to be outside.

"Alright...need me to take you home?"

"Mmm." Jimin shivered, nodding a little. "Yeah, yeah, you should stay at my place. 'M alone tonight, 'n I don't want to be alone." Jimin pouted as Jungkook helped him up and go to the car.

"Sure, I can- wait, your parents aren't home at this time at night?" Jungkook questioned. "They're always home."

"Mmmm, they're with my grandparents right now, cause of some, um...I think they're helping them with some redesigning." Jimin tried to remember before giving up. "Something like that."

Jungkook nodded. "For how many days?"

"Like, two or three."

"Ah. So...until you leave." Jungkook understand now. Jimin was going to be alone in his house until he left for work again, and he definitely hated being truly alone. "I'll text my parents, see if I can stay over for the time being."

"Really?!" Jimin looked at him happily.

"Yeah, yeah, I usually stay a couple days after you leave, so you won't have to worry about staying with you instead of my family." Jungkook glanced at him, smiling when he saw Jimin's face.

"Oh that would be awesome! I can kiss you? Can I kiss you now? Pull over." Jimin pulled on Jungkook's sweater softly.

Jungkook couldn't help but laugh. "You're so cute Jimin. Wait till we get home."

"Denying me kisses...this will never work." Jimin teased, huffing and crossing his arms.

Jungkook laughed in disbelief before stopping at a red light, grabbing Jimin's chin and making them have eye contact. "Don't tempt me Jimin. You know what I'd do if I pulled over."

Jimin puckered his lips, making kissing noises.

Jungkook kissed him immediately, Jimin's hand going to his collar and pulling him closer. Jungkook simply melted into it, letting Jimin have him, as he'd always done.

Jimin pulled away. "...we should wait till we're home, hm."

"We should wait till you're sober." Jungkook kissed his nose before his eyes went back to the road.

"I'm sober."

Jungkook laughed. "No, not really."

"I'm so sober. Like, not even tipsy." Jimin reassured him. "Ask me a question."

"How old are you?"

"Old enough to drink."

"How old am I?"

"Mmm...old enough to drive."

Jungkook laughed. "So not sober."

"I still wanna do it, doesn't matter if I'm a little tipsy." Jimin huffed.

"I don't want to when you're under the influence. Apparently it doesn't feel good in the morning." Jungkook smiled at him. "So we should wait."

"But we have the house alone."

"For days."

Jimin whined. "Since when have you denied me anything?"

"Since you got drunk."

"I did not get drunk." Jimin pouted. "I just got a little tipsy. That's all. Besides, I'm already feeling better." He whined again. "Please? I want kisses."

"I can kiss you, sure."

"All over."

"If that's what you want, but please...don't ask me to have sex while you're tipsy." Jungkook laughed. "You'll regret that."

"Mmmmmm, okay, fine." Jimin tugged on Jungkook's sweater softly again. "But you have to kiss me."

"Of course Jimin." Jungkook smiled a little before taking Jimin's hand to hold it. "I'll kiss you."

"Everywhere."

"Everywhere." Jungkook promised, knowing that Jimin would pass out by the time they got home. 

"Good. I want your kisses everywhere. I want- you should mark my thighs again I like seeing them like that. B-but not my ass, it's hard to sit when you bruise my ass."

"Mmm~ what else do you like?" Jungkook squeezed Jimin's hand.

"I like you."

"What do you like me to do?"

"Mmmm. Tonight?"

"In general."

"Well. I like when you touch my thighs. Like- like when we just sit together, or when- when you put me on your lap to watch a movie. I like when you touch my thighs." Jimin blushed a little.

"Do you like when I kiss your neck and get under your shorts?"

"Your hands are so strong." Jimin nodded. "I do like it. W-when you're dominant, I think that's hot."

Jungkook laughed. "Ah, you're so cute. You like when I'm dominant?"

"I like when you tell me what's going to happen. N-not letting me choose." Jimin nodded, his cheeks red. "Can I roll down the window?"

"Of course Jimin." Jungkook squeezed his hand again. "...so you like when I'm in charge?"

"Mmm, yeah." Jimin rolled down the window, letting the cool air hit his skin. "I like when you make me do whatever you want."

Jungkook pursed his lips, taking in the information. Jimin would've never said any of this if he was sober, and tomorrow he'd be beyond embarrassed. But god it was such a turn on when Jimin told him what he wanted.

"Especially when you open my legs, that's really hot." Jimin sighed heavily as he looked out the windows. "Your hands are so strong. You're so handsome and sexy when you use your strength."

Jungkook blushed, wanting to cover his mouth, but instead he squeezed Jimin's hand again. "I see."

"You could do that tonight?"

"You shouldn't ask me to have sex with you tonight."

Jimin whined. "But I want it."

"Mmmm, no, you aren't sober." Jungkook laughed. "I'm not going to do anything while you're drunk."

Jimin pouted, looking at him. "You said you'd kiss me everywhere."

"I can kiss you. Maybe...after a shower and you brush your teeth." Jungkook smiled at him. "And some water and a pill."

"I want you to kiss me immediately though." Jimin pouted more before mumbling. "Still want you to pull over."

Jungkook laughed, glancing at Jimin, making him blush and look away. "Yeah, that's what I thought. I'm afraid if I touch you, you'd cum on the spot."

Jimin nodded. "I'm sensitive so...don't let me. Or make me."

Jungkook chuckled, letting go of Jimin's hand and grabbing his thigh. "You're trouble."

"Yeah, so take care of me. Can I be in your care?" Jimin asked him honestly, making Jungkook hold back a groan.

"...we're almost home."

"You'll kiss me when we get there, right?"

"Yeah." Jungkook gripped Jimin's thigh tighter, rubbing it a little. "Definitely."

"Before a shower?"

"Mmmm, if you can convince me." Jungkook teased him more.

"How should I convince you Jungkookie?"

"Dunno, figure it out." Jungkook blushed a little. He wondered what Jimin would do.

"Fine." Jimin huffed, taking Jungkook's hand and making it go closer to the inside of his thigh. "Then I'll tell you what I'd let you do." Jimin made him grip his thigh tighter. "I'd let you grab my ass, push me against the wall. I'd let you hike my leg up, I know you like when you have me cornered."

Jungkook blushed a little more.

"I'd let you touch me however you want, let you kiss wherever, let you have your way with me." Jimin gripped Jungkook's hand tighter, whimpering. "Oh please Jungkook, please."

Jungkook blushed more and took his hand away, laughing a little nervously. "Ah, okay I should um- should not have teased you."

"Please Jungkook." Jimin pouted at him, pulling on his sweater again. "Please please, I want you tonight."

Jungkook blushed more. "J-Jimin-" He parked, looking at Jimin. "Not while you've got alcohol in your system."

"I'm perfectly sober." Jimin stared at him. "So please."

"I don't think you are." Jungkook got out of the car, helping Jimin out of his side. "Where's your key?"

"Pocket." Jimin hummed.

Jungkook sighed and rolled his eyes, digging through Jimin's pockets. "You're shameless."

"Back pocket." Jimin smiled at him.

Jungkook sighed again and dug through his back pockets, getting his key and opening the door for him.

Jimin locked the door behind them, grabbing Jungkook's wrist and pulling him off his balance. "Ah!-"

Jimin pushed him against the wall, glaring at him. "I said." Jimin took his coat off. "What I wanted you to do." He pushed Jungkook's coat off.

"Jimin wait-"

"I don't want to." Jimin grabbed the hem of Jungkook's sweater, pulling it up quickly before Jungkook grabbed his wrist.

"Jimin." Jungkook spoke sternly, making Jimin blush but equally meet his gaze. "Not while you're tipsy."

"I'm not tipsy." Jimin glared, glancing at Jungkook's lips. "I just want you, aren't I allowed to just want you?"

"Sure, but not when-" Jungkook sighed when Jimin glared more. "You're a horrible influence." Jungkook quickly grabbed Jimin's waist, hoisting him up and over his shoulder. "You'll regret it in the morning."

"I'm not going to regret anything." Jimin reached down and slapped Jungkook's ass. Jungkook slapped his back, much harder than Jimin did. "Ah! Hey!" Jimin hit his back.

Jungkook laughed. "Would you like me to make you regret it?"

Jimin huffed. "Do as you please."

"Then we won't do anything."

"Then do as I please." Jimin quickly spoke, Jungkook throwing him on his bed.

He stared down at him. "I don't think I should."

Jimin sighed, taking off his sweater. "I'm not tipsy Jungkook."

Jungkook started to undress as well. "Mmmm. But you've still got it in your system."

"I don't." Jimin sat up on his elbows. "I just like indulging you by making you think about what you could do to me." He sighed heavily. "It's just too hot in here." He started to take more clothes off.

"Jimin." Jungkook sighed heavily. "What...I- you're a bad influence Jimin. Horrible." He took off his sweater, then shirt, Jimin staring at him. "I want you on my lap."

Jimin smiled a little, blushing. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Jungkook laughed a little. He got Jimin's lube before he sat on the bed. "I won't fuck you, but I can at least finger you."

Jimin laughed too. "I think I can make you fuck me."

"Don't count on it." Jungkook raised an eyebrow as he pulled Jimin on top of him. "I'm not getting up for a condom." His hands went to Jimin's thighs immediately, rubbing them and widening his legs a little. "Tease yourself all you want, I'm not going to fuck you."

"Sure you won't." Jimin laughed, grinding down on Jungkook's crotch, Jungkook immediately meeting him halfway. Jimin laughed. "But you're holding back too. Don't hold back."

Jungkook laughed. "If I didn't hold back you'd complain about your ass, and you said you didn't want that."

Jimin laughed. "Fuck me senseless then. I know you have the stamina."

Jungkook stared at him, grabbing his waist tightly and pushing him down on his crotch, getting a small whine out of him. "You said you didn't want to."

Jimin held Jungkook's shoulders. "I have a couple free days."

Jungkook laughed a little, letting go of Jimin. "What's on your mind hyung?"

"Don't call me hyung." Jimin glared at him. "Nothings wrong, Jungkook, I just want you to fuck me. What's different?"

"Mmmm." Jungkook put his hands behind his head, leaning back on the wall. "You're acting desperate. You're already out of your clothes, you want my touch and kisses..." he looked over him. "It's hot, yeah, but what's on your mind?"

Jimin kept his glare. "What's wrong with wanting you?"

Jungkook sighed before slowly resting his hands on Jimin's thighs, rubbing them softly. "The desperation is new." Jimin leaned forward and tried to kiss him, but Jungkook put a finger against his lips. "Ah- tell me what's wrong first. You had a lot to drink tonight, that usually means somethings wrong."

Jimin glared harder, biting his finger.

Jungkook smiled, patting his thigh. "What's wrong angel? What're you trying to forget?"

"Nothing." Jimin clenched his jaw. "I'm not trying to forget anything."

"Then what are you trying to remember?" Jungkook titled his head a little.

Jimin's gaze softened a little. "I want to remember you."

"You won't forget me." Jungkook laughed, brushing Jimin's cheeks. "Why were you really drinking so much?"

"C-cause." Jimin looked down. "Cause I want to...be with you."

"Then be with me. Why do you need to drink over that?" Jungkook smiled at him.

"Cause! Cause I really love you but nothing seems to change except us." Jimin frowned. "And I want...to spend forever with you."

"Then spend forever with me." Jungkook smiled wider. "Doesn't matter what anyone else says."

"But we have careers, I just want to experience l-love and romance like anyone else!" Jimin looked back at him. "Your painting Jungkook. I want that. That feeling, that happiness. I drink...over that."

"And we can have that. Here, of course." Jungkook went back to rub his thighs soothingly.

"It's not enough." Jimin whispered. "It's not enough at all."

"What do you expect from me Jimin?" Jungkook shook his head, still smiling. "I'm done pushing everything forward."

"I want...more." Jimin furrowed his eyebrows before closing his eyes. "Ow."

"Head hurts? Let's get you ready for bed." Jungkook continued to rub his thighs kindly.

"I said I want more." Jimin looked at him. "More of you, more of your touch, more, Jungkook, more."

"You can have more of me...if you date me." Jungkook kissed his nose. "You should probably wash up and everything before you pass out on me."

Jimin exhaled before slowly relaxing on top of Jungkook. "...okay..."

"Cute." Jungkook kissed his head before he helped him up, getting him in the bath before getting a glass of water and a pill for him.

Jimin seemed quiet, as he hugged his knees in the bathtub.

"Hey..." Jungkook came back, sitting next to him on the rim of the tub. "Here you go."

"...will you take me?"

"Hm?" Jungkook gave him a confused smile. "What do you mean?"

"Will you still take me?" Jimin stared at the water, poking at it.

Jungkook was shocked, before he softened his gaze. "Of course Jimin. If you're willing to really be mine, and I mean really be mine. Actually be my boyfriend. Then yes. I'll gladly say yes. But I'll still wait if you're not ready Jimin."

"...I love you Jungkook."

"I love you too Jimin." Jungkook kissed his head. "Take the medicine, you'll get a headache."

Jimin put his head down on his arms. "You're too good for me Jungkook. I don't deserve you."

"Sure you do." Jungkook looked at Jimin trying to be alone again. "I'm not leaving, you're not unloveable, and I love you, so really...this isn't something I'm going to let go. You're...the person I love. Okay?"

Jimin nodded.

"So let me take care of you. Medicine time~" Jungkook put the glass against Jimin's head. "Need me to feed it to you? Airplane landing~" Jungkook teased him, gaining a small chuckle from Jimin as he looked up at him.

"As long as I get a date with the pilot." Jimin smiled a little before opening his mouth.

Jungkook put the pill in his mouth before handing him the glass. Jimin took it and drank it down. "Thank you."

"Thank you." Jimin laughed a little. "...you're too good to be true..."

"I'd love to share my life with you Jimin." Jungkook kissed his head again, taking the glass from him. "Whenever you're ready."

Jungkook gave him some time, laying on his bed after changing his clothes. He wondered what was going on in Jimin's head, wondered what would come out of this. He really hoped it went well, but...Jimin was always scared. Not that he minded, he understood why, but he wouldn't be surprised if Jimin said they still couldn't.

He needed Jimin to make the next move. He'd done it every other time and it was time for Jimin to meet him halfway. He exhaled slowly. Here he was, in Jimin's bed, waiting for him to get out of the bathroom. It felt so...domestic. He just wanted this forever.

He just wanted the domestic life with Jimin.

Jungkook snapped back to reality when Jimin came out of the bathroom. He wore a nice sweater, climbing into bed with Jungkook. He cuddled up to him. "Hey."

"Hi." Jungkook smiled a little. "How was your bath?"

"Good. Just...recovering."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Jungkook nodded. So Jimin wasn't going to say anything. "Well. I hope you remember everything in the morning."

"I'm good. I'm alright. Sober."

"Good." Jungkook exhaled before pressing it one more time. "Did you decide anything?"

"I think I need more time." Jimin spoke softly. "I just want you. But I'm still scared. Even though this is exactly what I want."

"...wanna talk about it?" Jungkook let Jimin rest against his chest.

"...would you move in with me?"

"Yeah, I would."

"You'd be fine with that?"

"Yeah." Jungkook laughed a little. "I'd love to move in with you. Depends where you live though, I do have a job now."

"Right." Jimin spoke quietly. "...we would cook together."

"Mhm. And clean together. We would get groceries together too."

Jimin sighed. "Everything huh."

"Yeah. We'd do everything together." Jungkook rubbed Jimin's back. "So...you need more time?"

"Just a little bit." Jimin nodded. "I think...I'll know soon."

"Okay. Let me know Jimin."

"I will." Jimin looked up at him. "I did mean it though. Will you please touch me...tonight, please." Jimin whispered. "I'm- I don't know when I'll have a time like this with you."

"Ah, I see." Jungkook smiled at him. "What would you like?"

"Anything."

"Mmm~" Jungkook smiled at him. "Alright. You want anything?"

"Yes." Jimin crawled on top of him, moving the blanket down. "Anything. Just- just please. I want your hands tonight."

Jungkook positioned himself a little better, sitting up and holding Jimin's thighs. "Oh sweetheart. You didn't even wear shorts."

"Yeah? Planned on you being touchy tonight." Jimin laughed a little. "Thought you'd want to be hands on tonight."

"Oh I am a hands on learner." Jungkook smiled, running his hands up Jimin's boxers. "You know that though. How about you teach me something new Jimin?"

Jimin laughed. "How about you get undressed first?"

"Aww, no...leaving it up to imagination?"

"I'm a hands on learner too. Gotta see what I'm working with." Jimin looked over him, before meeting his eyes. "And you know I love seeing what's underneath your clothes."

"Take it off for me." Jungkook smiled.

Jimin smiled back. "Gladly." He took Jungkook's shirt off in one move, kissing his lips immediately. "Love how you talk to me."

"Yeah? Love how you react." Jungkook moved his hands to Jimin's back, slowly moving the sweater up. "Ohhhh boy...I know it might be simple, but seeing you fucked out in your sweater might be something I need to see tonight."

"Then make it happen." Jimin hummed. "Don't stop till I look exactly how you want me too."

"Fucked out?" Jungkook smiled at him.

"Fucked out." Jimin nodded. "Don't stop until I look fucked out."

"You'll ruin your sweater."

"I chose it on purpose Jungkook, get inside me already." Jimin smiled. "I want you inside me Jungkook, I've been thinking about you all day." Jimin moved down slowly on Jungkook's crotch. "Your outfit was so handsome tonight. Something about it was...I couldn't seem to look away."

"You're always handsome." Jungkook hummed in approval. "You're so charming. Even while drunk."

Jimin laughed a little. "And why's that?"

"Cause you're confident. And I love when you're confident." Jungkook smiled at him lovingly. "It makes my day."

"Fucking hell, get your pants off." Jimin laughed. "I think it'll make my day if you get your fucking clothes off."

"Pushy pushy." Jungkook pretended to whine about it, but obliged, getting his clothes off. "What's gotten into you tonight? You're sober but all over me, that's rare."

"I want you." Jimin pouted. "Can't I just want you?"

"Sure. Kinda like the desperation though." Jungkook teased him before changing their positions, hovering above him. "I like it." He spoke lower as he looked over Jimin. "I like when you actually want me."

Jimin blushed a little. "I always want you."

"That's not true." Jungkook leaned down and kissed at his neck, his hands slowly moving Jimin's boxers down and off. "Not always."

"Yes. Yes always." Jimin glared a little before shuddering, Jungkook kissing in a hickey. "Ah."

"Mmmmm~" Jungkook ran his hands up Jimin's sweater. "Sure. You're so beautiful Jimin."

Jimin felt embarrassed, pulling his sweater down. "J-Jungkook."

Jungkook laughed lowly. "Fuck, you're not going to be bashful now, are you?"

Jimin blushed pink. "Just embarrassed."

Jungkook laughed again, pushing Jimin's sweater up, Jimin tugging it down again with a slight shake of his head. "Don't fight me Jimin."

"L-leave it."

"You'll ruin it if you keep it down."

"Then ruin it." Jimin slowly blushed red, the soft pink darkening as he closed his eyes. "...can you start? Please?"

Jungkook hummed. "Jimin...I already said I'm not getting up. If you want the condoms you have to get them."

"I said start." Jimin looked to the side, pulling his sweater over his mouth. "Please."

Jungkook nearly groaned as he rolled his eyes, obviously turned on. He looked over Jimin again, noting that Jimin could either cover his face or his crotch. "You're sure your parents are out till tomorrow night?"

"P-positive." Jimin's hand tightened around his sweater, Jungkook humming in approval.

"Mmm~ okay." He widened Jimin's legs, getting the lube and pouring it on his fingers. He slowly pushed in two fingers, his free hand gripping Jimin's thigh tightly. "You're surely going to regret this in the morning."

"N-no I w-wont." Jimin was definitely shy now that he'd gotten what he'd wanted. "I want this. Fuck me until you can't Jungkook."

Jungkook laughed, though it probably wasn't kind since Jimin shut his eyes tight. "You're fucking hot Jimin. You know exactly what you're saying and you know exactly what it does to me." Jimin whimpered a little, Jungkook looking at his dick.

He raised Jimin's sweater a little, peaking under it before Jimin pulled it down quickly, looking at Jungkook with a surprised blush. "A-ah I- I didn't-

"You're so cute." Jungkook growled, shoving his fingers inside while leaning down to bite at Jimin's neck. "I don't think you even understand Jimin...just how much you effect me."

"I- I do-I do know- I- I do it on purpose please- please-" Jimin shuddered as Jungkook bit his neck. "Please."

Jungkook kept his fingers moving, scissoring him, not exactly being kind as he kept kissing and biting Jimin's neck. "Please what angel?"

"Please get inside." Jimin whimpered. "Please, I- I want it. I want you so badly Jungkook, please." His fist was tight as it held down his sweater. "Please."

Jungkook hummed, looking down at him. "You're bad."

Jimin nodded. "I know. You wanted a normal date and I wanted your cock inside me."

Jungkook laughed in disbelief. "And you're going to get exactly what you want, aren't you?"

"I- I better. You better." Jimin pouted a little. "Please...give me what I want." Jungkook curled his fingers just right, knowing how Jimin would react. Jimin melted into a moan, widening his legs just a little more for Jungkook. "Ah!~ oh god Jungkook, I need- you need to get inside."

Jungkook laughed, looking over him. "You're so sensitive today. So...you still do have alcohol in your system." Jungkook rolled his eyes.

"No no, I don't- I- I'm just sensitive." Jimin pouted. "Don't take back your word, please get in- ah!" Jimin moaned again when Jungkook rubbed a sensitive spot, his curled fingers continuously moving. Jimin let go of his sweater, pulling Jungkook closer to kiss him as his whimpered.

Jungkook ran a hand up his chest, pulling the sweater with him. "You're right. I'm going to need to get in soon."

"Please." Jimin continued to whimper, Jungkook staring down at him as Jimin shut his eyes tight, twitching every so often from Jungkook's fingers.

"...how badly?"

"So badly." Jimin whispered.

"Want me in now? Or should I get a third in." Jungkook kind of wanted the feeling of the tightness at the moment, a small blush reaching his cheeks for the first time.

"N-now." Jimin cover his face with one of his hands. "Please."

Jungkook exhaled shakily. "You sure?"

"Please." Jimin nodded. "...please..."

Jungkook exhaled shakily again, trying to calm himself. "This is um- um the first time...you know."

"I know." Jimin whispered. "I still want it. Please. Please? Will you please?"

Jungkook looked over him again before pulling his fingers out slowly. "Okay. Okay I'll be- I'll be kind okay?" Jungkook quickly cut Jimin off as he opened his mouth. "Don't fucking offer anything else, I won't stop if you do."

Jimin shut his mouth before talking quietly. "...what if I want to offer you more..."

"I said don't." Jungkook got ready, lubing himself up as a hand slowly moved Jimin's sweater up again. "I'll fucking do it."

"...do it." Jimin whispered, obviously hiding his blush as he held his sweater down, shaking ever so slightly. "Goddamn it do it."

Jungkook nearly groaned, but instead, laughed. "God...you'll have to tell me exactly what you want if you want me to do anything." He laughed again as he fought Jimin's hand.

"Stop lookin' at my dick!" Jimin yelled at him, finally looking at him as he tugged his sweater down again. "It's embarrassing!"

"It's cute!" Jungkook laughed more. "It's cute how embarrassed you are at how hard you already are." He looked over him again, this time making eye contact afterwards. "If I really wanted to I could rip this sweater off you, just keep that in mind okay? Stop fighting me."

Jimin shook his head. "I'm- I- I'm very well aware...that you could do anything you want to me..."

Jungkook laughed again, turned on even more. "Fuck." He slowly exhaled. "Guess that turns you on too, huh."

"Shut up."

"Alright I'm going- I'm- I'm gunna push in okay?" Jungkook looked down, lubing Jimin up a little more as he wanted to get inside.

Jimin nodded, covering his face more.

Jungkook exhaled slowly before pushing in, almost immediately stopping. "Oh shit, fuck I'm-" he held Jimin's waist. "Open your legs Jimin, I- this is-"

Jimin did as told, whimpering ever so quietly.

Jungkook held his base as he pushed in more, emotions filling his chest. He felt embarrassed, turned on, happy, shy, everything. "You're so tight." Jungkook barely got the words out.

Jimin gasped out. "Wait wait wait wait-"

"Got it sorry." Jungkook stopped, breathing a little heavily as he held Jimin's waist now, rubbing his hipbones softly. "Sorry."

"You're good, just- just t-tight. Hurts a little."

"More lube?"

"Y-you're good. I n-need to adjust." Jimin's bottom lip wobbled, Jungkook leaning down closer to kiss him. Jimin immediately pulled him as close as possible.

"'M right here, don't worry. I won't hurt you." Jungkook spoke softly. "Tell me when sweetheart."

"Okay." Jimin put Jungkook's head against his chest, both his hands now in Jungkook's hair. "...feels different."

"...yeah." Jungkook whispered. He tried very hard not to think about the feeling at the moment. "Yeah, it's really different."

"Tell me...what you feel."

"It's so tight Jimin, it feels really good." Jungkook felt embarrassed to even say it. "...it's hot. Feels really good."

"Yeah. Yeah it's- I can- I can feel you." Jimin shuddered. "Probably...should've let you get three in beforehand."

Jungkook laughed a little. "Probably but...feels nice."

Jimin nodded. "...you're big."

"Shut up." Jungkook laughed a little in embarrassment. "Don't- don't comment on that."

"Feels nice. That's all. Better sex."

"Jimin." Jungkook burrowed his head in Jimin's sweater. "Seriously, I don't want to wait so don't make it harder to do that."

"...you can go a little further. But please be slow."

"Taking back your previous statement, hm?" Jungkook teased him, slowly starting to push in again, raising just enough to see Jimin's facial expressions.

"No. Just...slow at first." Jimin was positively pink.

"Ah, fuck." Jungkook ran his hands up Jimin's sides, pushing the sweater up. "You're so tight."

Jimin shivered but didn't protest. "G-good you're still g-good, more, more." He encouraged him, his legs going around Jungkook's waist.

"You're taking me so well angel." Jungkook whispered as he placed his hands on the bed, fighting the urge to rut inside. "So so well, you're doing amazing."

Jimin nodded, pushing his sweater down again as he writhed a little, the feeling new.

Jungkook kissed his neck, biting his shoulder as he waited for Jimin to tell him to wait or keep going.

"All the way Jungkook, in, in."

Jungkook obeyed, bottoming out and groaning immediately. "Oh."

Jimin gasped out, holding onto Jungkook tightly. "Ah! Ah, oh god. W-wait."

"Yeah." Jungkook felt dizzy from the feeling. It was so- it was- he truly couldn't explain it. It was hot, and tight, and it was Jimin and he couldn't ask for more. "Fuck, this is- you're perfect Jimin. You're perfect."

Jimin blushed red from the compliment. "A-ah, I see." Jungkook kissed his neck, rolling his hips experimentally as he did so. Jimin gasped out, his fingernails digging into Jungkook's skin. "D-don't."

"You're beautiful." Jungkook whispered, biting his neck. "Your voice is beautiful."

"S-stop." Jimin whined quietly, embarrassed. "You know me too well, stop it."

"We both tend to give in, I know." Jungkook moved up a little, kissing his jaw and cheek. "Jimin...you made me give in. It's time for you to give in, no?"

Jimin whined. "I- I- as much as I want to, I think...I'll cum immediately if you move right now." Jimin whispered, obviously embarrassed.

"Feels that good? It's what you've begged for for hours now and you don't want it?" Jungkook laughed a little. "Don't worry hyung. Once won't be enough."

Jimin shuddered, his nails digging a little deeper into Jungkook's shoulders. "...kiss me and move."

"Perfect." Jungkook kissed him, obviously smiling through it as he started to pull out, then push back in.

Both of them groaned, giving sounds of pleasure as they both blushed. "Shit."

"Fuck off, you're perfect Jimin, you're perfect." Jungkook kissed him harder before moving a little faster, Jimin pulling him as close as possible.

Jimin really couldn't help but moan in his mouth, since Jungkook wouldn't pull away. "Ah~ goddamn it- Jungkook!"

Jungkook finally pulled away, his eyebrows knit as he looked down at Jimin. "Hm?"

Jimin simply turned red underneath him, shaking his head. "N-nothing."

"Tell me." Jungkook kept a slow pace, wanting to hear Jimin's wants.

"Y-you're handsome. S-so handsome." Jimin whispered. "...I...you're so handsome when you- you're like this."

Jungkook grinned. "Ah, I see. So you like-"

"Don't." Jimin shook his head a little. "I- this is already a lot...please don't embarrass me further."

"Mmm~ okay. Want me to keep moving?"

"Yeah." Jimin whispered.

"Mk." Jungkook started to move a little faster, his hands tightening on the bedsheets. "Fuck."

Jimin gave small whimpers as he moved, hugging Jungkook close. "I- J-Jungkook-"

Jungkook nodded. "What do you need?"

"M-more."

Jungkook dropped his head, laughing. "Jimin, seriously stop spoiling me, I'll lose it."

"Then I'll keep spoiling you. Please, more. I want more, please." Jimin pouted, his eyes widening to make Jungkook react. "Please."

"Jimin." Jungkook glared at him a little. "You seriously want to be in bed all day tomorrow?"

"Yes." Jimin nodded. "I do. We have all of tomorrow too. So yes, I want to be in bed all day. All night."

"All night?"

"All night." Jimin nodded again. "Please. I told you. Fuck me until you can't."

Jungkook laughed again before rolling his eyes. "You're a pain."

"But you'll do what I want." Jimin muttered. "Don't complain like you don't want it too."

Jungkook nodded. "Yeah. Yeah you're right. I'll do it and I want it."

"Give it to me."

Jungkook gave a short laugh before he started to move a little rougher, already close to coming. Jimin simply had that effect on him. Jimin immediately moaned, holding onto him tighter as Jungkook started to move.

"Ah! N-not going to- ha~ last much longer." Jimin moaned out, Jungkook continuing as he nodded in acknowledgment.

"Me neither angel, I'm really close. Shit you want me to- to- ah- pull out?" Jungkook was losing it. Jimin was just too pretty underneath him.

"N-no." Jimin looked to the side as he pulled him closer, shutting his eyes tight. "Please."

Jungkook moaned before trying to hit as far in as possible, wanting Jimin to feel good. He just wanted Jimin to actually feel good and he was positive he did, since he wouldn't stop moaning.

Jungkook moaned as he came, shoving in deep as Jimin followed suit, coming with a moan. He gasped, trying to catch his breath. "H-holy shit."

"Yeah, holy shit." Jungkook rested his head on Jimin's chest. "Shit, fuck. What am I supposed to do now?" Jungkook panted. "...you're so tight." He whispered, blushing ever so slightly. "...goddamn it."

"Y-yeah?" Jimin laughed a little. "L-like it?"

"Like?" Jungkook moved up and kissed his neck. "Loved it. What am I supposed to do now that I know what it's like?"

"I- I'll let you sometimes. O-on special occasions." Jimin tried to catch his breath.

"Like what? What counts?" Jungkook kissed his jaw, then started to pepper his face in kisses.

"Holidays. B-birthdays. J-job promotions." Jimin spoke softly.

Jungkook pulled away to look at him. "Explain."

"...celebrations."

"I meant explain what you mean." Jungkook glared at him a little. "Don't you dare give me hope."

"I'm giving you hope." Jimin nodded.

Jungkook pulled out, shuddering a little. "Fucking hell, don't give me hope Jimin."

Jimin blushed. "...I mean it..."

Jungkook exhaled shakily. "Don't fucking say that."

Jimin met his gaze. "I mean it." He leaned up and kissed him. "I'll figure it out Jungkook. For now...I'm still not fully satisfied. Will you keep going?"

Jungkook growled as he quickly grabbed Jimin's wrists with one hand, putting them above his head. "I said don't tease the idea."

Jimin blushed red, eyes going wide. "Jungkook!"

Jungkook was slightly pissed off. "You don't know what that means to me."

"But I do! I know exactly what it means to you. I want you." Jimin became embarrassed as Jungkook looked over him. "I want you."

"Right now?"

"Right now."

"You're dirty hyung." Jungkook scowled. "Not even clean up?"

"You heard me loud and clear." Jimin scowled right back. "I said fuck me...until you can't."

Jungkook laughed a little in disbelief. "You're going to end up hurting yourself." He lubed himself up with his free hand before lubing Jimin's hole again. "You're filthy."

"Shut up! You know you like it!" Jimin was embarrassed but turned on. Jungkook was as well.

"Didn't know you liked it like this. I learn something new about you every year." Jungkook laughed a little, Jimin able to tell he was losing it.

"P-please let my hands go." Jimin whispered.

"No. I'm..." he looked over him again. "I want to have my way with you."

Jimin blushed to his ears. "Oh fuck please. Yes, I-" Jimin relaxed, widening his legs for Jungkook. "Please."

Jungkook growled lowly as he pushed in, holding his base. "You're a fucking tease."

Jimin shuddered before exclaiming. "Jungkook!" He tried to get his hands free, but Jungkook held them down tightly.

"Mmm~" Jungkook pushed in, smiling a little evilly as his now free hand pushed Jimin's sweater up.

"S-stop!"

"No way angel." Jungkook looked over him.

"Jungkook!"

"You're so cute though! So hard already, I didn't know you were into this."

"Please..." Jimin's ears were red now, embarrassed for his sweater to be pushed up and having no way to pull it down.

"Who would've thought, hm?" Jungkook looked over him. "You should be proud hyung."

Jimin shook his head, shy now that he was so exposed.

Jungkook grinned happily. "So you're mine?"

Jimin nodded, shutting his eyes tight.

"Yeah. You're right, no one else is allowed to see you like this. Ever." Jungkook knit his eyebrows, glaring ever so slightly.

"Good." Jimin whispered.

"You're mine." Jungkook kissed him roughly, and Jimin couldn't ask for more.

____

Jimin woke with Jungkook hugging him, head on his chest as he slept. It was probably late into the afternoon at this point, the two having given their last bit of energy into showering and changing the bedsheets and blankets.

Jimin also threw his sweater in the wash.

He smiled a little as he looked at Jungkook sleeping peacefully. He really loved him. Loved his smile, his charm, his happiness and his voice. Loved his eyes, his humor, his laugh. Loved how caring he was, how cool and confident, how silly and honest he was, he loved everything.

Every single thing about him was lovable, and Jimin had fallen. He'd fallen in the deep end without much of a choice, he'd only given Jungkook plenty of chances to run away.

And yet...here he stayed in his bed, resting peacefully.

Jimin was done for. He couldn't possibly live without being with him at this point. He wanted a future, he wanted to live with him, he wanted to hold him and kiss him and cook with him and just exist together like he'd always dreamed of doing with someone.

Jungkook was the future he wanted.

____

Jungkook looked at Jimin with sad eyes. "Hyung..."

"Please. I promise soon. I promise. Not right this moment but oh so soon. When I can figure out some logistics first, okay? I need to talk to my landlord, I need to make sure it works with your job-" Jimin tried to explain.

"We can figure it out together!" Jungkook pleaded.

"Soon Jungkook, soon!" Jimin grabbed his hands. "Please, I mean it this time. I mean it. But I can't have you live with me without contacting my landlord, I can't do that." He laughed a little. "But soon Jungkook. Within the next few months."

"But Jimin you said you'd be mine. You said you are mine, why can't we..." Jungkook sighed. "You're doing it again hyung, you're scared again."

Jimin exhaled shakily. "Just a little more time Jungkook. Just a little."

Jungkook pouted. "You're doing it again."

"I'm sorry."

"So it won't be happening will...will it." He looked down. "Please...just don't lie to me. Just say it instead."

"Soon." Jimin spoke quietly.

"Just say it hyung!" Jungkook yelled at him. "You never mean it, how am I supposed to believe you now!" He yelled at the ground, unable to say the words to Jimin's face. "You promise and promise over and over again, give me hope and make me think I've got a chance at having a real future with you and then you cop out on me!"

"Jungkook-"

"You haven't even told your parents about me!" Jungkook was angry. He was. "I have given you everything I have, and you still just-" he grabbed his chest over his heart, obviously emotional. "And you still just leave it there."

"Jungkook I'm sorry." Jimin felt horrible.

Jungkook looked up at him. "I love you Jimin. But I'm not going to push it anymore. It's up to you. So...when you're done making excuses...I'll be here. You always know where to find me."

"I mean it Jungkook, soon. I'll- I'll do it, I will, I just need more time."

"I've given you half my life Jimin." Jungkook laughed a little sadly. "How much more time do you need?"

"Months, not years." Jimin looked at him with certainty. "I will get back to you."

Jungkook sighed. "...please travel back safely."

"You too." Jimin took his hand slowly. "Please."

"I'll see you next year Jimin." Jungkook looked at him before pulling him into a hug. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too." Jimin kissed his cheek. "I promise."

"Will I see you in spring?"

"I'll try Jungkook."

"I...don't want to only see you in winter. I want...to see you in spring."

"Soon."

Jungkook sighed. "Okay."

Jimin held him tightly. "I'll see you in spring."

____

Jimin tried. He contacted his landlord, asked if his partner could move in with him this year. He debated calling or texting Jungkook. He called his parents, coming out to them as he couldn't bare to do it in person.

He very carefully hinted at his work to those he trusted, gaining a small support group.

He had Taehyung and Hoseok.

But he was still so scared. He was still so scared, so petrified of actually calling Jungkook when everything was set up.

His landlord said yes, his mother and father still loved him, his coworkers were kind, his boss even kinder.

He'd cried from happiness for a month.

Yet...he was still so scared to call him.

He wasn't expecting a text from Jungkook though.

Jungkookie <3 (7:45)
I can't come this year.

Jimin's heart shattered. No. No way, no, he wasn't allowed to- he couldn't- he couldn't leave him- he wasn't allowed to- Jimin didn't want to go a year without seeing him.

He called him immediately.

He tapped his foot on his kitchen floor before he started to pace. He couldn't let this happen.

Jungkook picked up. "Hey..."

"You can't just say that." Jimin was confused and somewhat...betrayed. "Tell me what you mean."

"My job just gave me an offer I don't want to refuse...but I'll have to travel a bit during those three weeks, so I'd be able to make only Christmas."

"I don't- I-" Jimin exhaled shakily, slowly squatting down. "I can't go a year without seeing you Jungkook."

Jungkook laughed a little. "Your voice is cute over the phone."

Jimin shut his eyes, shaking his head. He couldn't go a year without seeing him, he wouldn't be happy, he wasn't happy- "...tell me your address."

"Hm?" Jungkook sounded surprised. "My address?"

"I'll come immediately, tell me your address." Jimin stood up, getting a coat on and gathering what he might need. "I'll go to you Jungkook, tell me."

"H-hyung I'm a bit always from you and it's late-"

"And you're telling me not to make excuses? I'm going to you Jungkook." Jimin laughed a little. "Will you let me? I'll come to you. Just tell me where you are."

"I...do you mean it?" Jungkook spoke quietly.

"Yes." Jimin nodded before grabbing his keys. "If you'll let me...I'll be in your care and you'll be in mine. I can't go another year without you, I've had enough and I'm not happy without you Jungkook. I want to meet you now, I want to see you in spring."

"Then- then I'll- I'll text you my address. You better drive safely though, we're in a rainy season! Okay?"

"Okay." Jimin smiled. "I'd keep you on the phone but if you want me to be safe I'll need both hands."

"Don't worry, I'll- I'll wait for you to- to come." Jungkook choked out his words, obviously emotional over them. "I- I love you Jimin."

"I love you too Jungkook." Jimin smiled more. "I'll see you tonight."

Jungkook screamed a little before clearing his throat. "Yeah, yeah, I'll- I'll wait. I'll wait for you."

Jimin laughed. "Thank you."

"Drive safe!" Jungkook hung up quickly, making Jimin laugh a little more before he got in his car, putting the address Jungkook sent in his gps and driving off.

He was stupid for needing that final push, but...but he was taking big steps forward and he wanted Jungkook with him. He wanted to be his partner, he wanted to be with him.

He wanted to celebrate more than winter with him, more than Christmas, more than New Years.

He wanted to celebrate their months together, Valentine's Day, birthdays, promotions, he wanted to meet parents for real, wanted to be one big family and share his life with Jungkook. He wanted Jungkook to know him better, wanted the two to have one another, wanted to meet his friends, wanted him to meet his friends, wanted to share their lives.

He wanted to meet him in spring, wanted to see him in summer and fall, wanted to have everything he'd ever hopelessly wanted to come true.

____

Jimin anxiously but excitedly knocked on Jungkook's door, wondering if Jungkook was even awake at this hour.

The door flung open, Jungkook smiling wide as he pulled Jimin inside and hugged him tightly, burrowing into his neck. "Hi Jimin."

"Hi Jungkook." Jimin smiled as he hugged him back.

"So you- you mean it? You mean it this time, you aren't taking this back, you aren't- I'm not- this is-" Jungkook laughed and pulled away, looking at him. "You mean it this time?"

"Will you move in with me? We can figure it out together Jungkook." Jimin reached up and held his cheek, smiling when Jungkook leaned into it. "I'm scared. I am. But I'm happier with you than I am scared to be with you."

Jungkook nodded enthusiastically. "I'll move in with you Jimin. We'll figure it out together and I'll be patient. I want you in my life more than I can express, more than I can explain. So please...will you be a part of my life forever?"

"I will." Jimin stood taller and kissed him, Jungkook bringing him into another kiss.

And for once, Jimin was happy to say goodbye to winter, as he got to see that smile on Jungkook's face, one he never would've seen besides right now in spring.

And Jungkook couldn't have asked for anything more than to spend the rest of his life with the love of his life.

IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE-

A soft sweet ending for the final story of this book. Thank you all so much for reading, commenting, and enjoying this and my writing.

But don't worry!! I'm only moving off of Wattpad and going permanently to ao3, so I'll still be making stories but I will no longer be posting here.

My account is @MunchkinJk there as well, and all of these stories will be posted there as well.

Again, thank you for reading, thank you for everything. 💜 - munch.