JJ's POV:

I just got into a huge fight with my dad. I thought it was bad the night of the hot tub thing with Kie and Pope but this was way worse.

I was in so much pain as I walked to the Chateau. I spit mouthfuls of blood out on my way over. My ribs were probably broken and it wouldn't shock me if my knuckles weren't broken or dislocated.

I finally arrived and my friends were all outside sitting around the fire. John B noticed me and asked, "Are you okay?"

I tried to respond and I couldn't. They all looked at me and my eyes met Kie's. She was usually able to get me to calm down. My heart was racing from the adrenaline of the fight I was in.

"JJ" Pope said trying to snap me out of

"Was it your dad?" Sarah questioned and I nodded my head yes

My heart was pounding. My hands were all sweaty. My stomach was in knots. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I've been anxious before but I can pull myself out of the pretty easily. This was different. I had no idea what was happening to my body.

"J" Kie said walking up to me and looking right into my eyes

I tried focusing on her to calm me down but it wasn't working. Why wasn't this working? All my friends were watching and they all approached me. John B reached out and grabbed my arm and said, "It's okay, we've got you. You're safe"

"My dad... He" I tried to say but I could barely breathe

"What the hell do we do?" Sarah asked worriedly

"He's having a panic attack. We just have to wait it out and try to help him" Pope said confidently

My friends all began to talk and I wasn't really paying much attention to their chatter. I was so locked in my own mind. Kie hugged me and I was able to relax for a second but then the thoughts came back.

I know, I screw up sometimes but I'm not an awful kid. What did I do to get a dad like Luke? I've tried everything to make him love me and nothing works. My mom left us when I was a kid and ever since my dad has blamed me for her leaving. I was just a kid. What did I do so wrong?

You worthless piece of shit. Your momma knew. You're my biggest mistake in life. I wish you were dead. I fucking hate you. You're a waste of space in this world. Fucking thief.  You have that fancy new gun you should use it to shoot yourself. I'd be doing your friends a favor by killing you. Go kill yourself. It's your fault your mom left.

Everything my dad has ever said was echoing in my head. I was crying and I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was going to pass out. My head was so loud right now and wait... It's quiet now. I'm okay. My breathing slowed down and so did my heart rate. Kie was kissing me. She pulled back and put her forehead on mine.

"You're okay, just focus on me" She said as she locked her eyes on mine

I stayed calm and she was whispering, "Just breathe, you're safe"

I have no idea how long we've been standing like this but she backed away and said, "I'll bring him inside and get him cleaned up"

She walked me inside to the spare bedroom and I sat down on the bed and said, "I have no idea what happened. That was terrifying"

"You were having a panic attack" She said sitting next to me on the bed

"And you kissed me?" I asked confused

"Yes, I'm sorry. It's just that nothing else was pulling you out of the panic attack and I thought it might enough to help"

"It did, thank you" I said enjoying the peace and quiet in my head

"Can I clean you up?" Kie asked and I nodded my head yes

She left and when she returned, she had the first aid kit. Here comes my least favorite part. The alcohol on the cotton balls to clean the blood and the wounds. I cursed under my breath a few times. I tried not to as I knew she was being careful. It just hurt like a bitch. A few minutes later, she was tending to my hand which was swollen. She had an ice pack on it and she didn't think it was broken, just swollen.

"Do you need anything else?" She asked softly as she went to leave the room to put the first aid kit away

"Nah" I said as she left

I got up and slipped my shorts off along with my shirt which was all full of blood. I crawled under the covers and laid in bed trying not to let my thoughts consume me.

Kie came back and shut the door and turned the lights off. She crawled into bed with me. She's never done this before and I wasn't going to complain. I was actually happy that she was here.

I was the little spoon and as I fell asleep Kie whispered things like, "You are the strongest person I know. I'm so sorry you have to go through all this shit"

I felt so relaxed that I was actually able to fall asleep. When I woke up, it was early. The sun was just starting to come up. Kie was still asleep but her body was half on mine and our legs were all tangled up. I didn't want to wake her up, so I just fell back asleep. I haven't slept this well in a long time.

When I awoke at a more reasonable hour, Kie was on her side of the bed so I got up. I grabbed some new clothes and I left the Chateau. Last night was humiliating and I didn't really want to see my friends. So I took off on my own for two days and just kinda was at my little secret spot in an abandoned building. I haven't had much to eat in these three days which sucked, but I was used to not eating. My dad never kept food in the house and I couldn't afford to buy food. My phone was dead so I had no way of communicating with anyone, it was kinda nice.

I was just in my own little world. I've skipped school but I don't really give a shit about that. It was getting late when I heard a car pull up. I was thinking of the worse, drug dealers, criminals, and my dad, but I was shocked to see it was Kie.

"So, this is where you've been hiding out?"

"Yeah, not like I have anywhere else to go. Just leave me alone and go back to Figure Eight"

She handed me a box of food that she got from the Wreck and then she left without saying a word to me. That was a dick move on my part, but it's just embarrassing for me. She returned a few seconds later with a blanket and more food. She sat down on the ground with me and put the blanket over the two of us and she started eating with me.

We finished eating and she didn't seem like she had any intention of leaving. So I asked, "Kie, what are you doing here?"

"I care about you, J. I'm not going to leave you alone here"

"Well I don't have anywhere else to go" I said defensively

"The Chateau" Kie said like it was obvious

"Yeah, well I wanted to be alone"

"You could have come to my house"

"Because your parents would happily let me into their house" He said full of sarcasm

"They wouldn't ever have to know" She said softly

"Why do you care so much? It's fucking humiliating enough already and here you are caring about me"

She looked confused and said, "I care about you because I'm in love with you JJ. Seeing you in this much pain hurts me. I want to help you because I love you"

"No, you don't love me. No one loves me"

"I know you freak out when people get too close and I understand, but I'm not ever going anywhere. Nothing about you will ever scare me away. I'm here for it all. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't have kissed you to pull you out of that panic attack"

I rolled my eyes and said, "That's fucking pathetic that the one time you kiss me and I just stood there like an idiot... I don't even remember the kiss"

Kie looked at me and slowly leaned in to kiss me. There was no way this was actually happening. I moved closer to her until our lips touched and this time I kissed her back. Once the kiss broke, she said it again, "I love you"

I had tears in my eyes as this time I believed her and knew she meant it. I could also say it back, "I love you too"

She smiled as she kissed me again and said, "You'll never be alone through any of this. I'll always be by your side"

It was comforting to hear that because for most of my life, I've done everything on my own. This was going to take some time to get used to, but it was a good thing. I looked at Kie and asked, "How'd you find this place anyway?"

"I just drove until I found your bike. You're JJ Maybank, you like to be alone and that narrows down over half the island"

She really did know me and understand me. I kissed her and she asked, "Can I stay here with you, tonight?"

"Always" I replied happy to share my secret spot with her

I told her more about my panic attacks, when they started, and how they're pretty much caused by my dad's abuse. She didn't treat me like I was broken which most people do. Even my friends don't understand what happens when I get panic attacks like this, but Kie understood and she knew how to help me. For the first time in my life, I felt safe, comforted, and loved.