I'm so sorry you guys, I travelled and was a bit busy with stuffs that's why I couldn't sit down and write. But here it is! It's mushy, it's twisty and everything in between, it's all jam packed in there!

I hope you enjoy it💃🏻❤️😁😁

Ignore the typos please

AAYAN

"Thank you Mr Okoye," I firmly shook my clients hand whilst nodding my head.

"Thank you Mr Aayan, I hope I won't be disappointed."

"In sha Allah, that will not happen." He patted my shoulder one last time before he and his secretary left my office.

I released a breath I never knew I was holding, he is one tough old man. It was very hard to convince him, the negotiation has been going on for almost a month now. We had to keep adjourning the meeting for him to discuss it with his board members again and again.

He wants to expand his business in the northern region of the country. So we are to build a new headquarter here in Abuja. This is the biggest deal I've gotten since our return from Uk, it is very important. I want to make my parents proud, Jawahir also.

Let just pray things go as planned.

A knock came from the door. I yelled a 'come in' as I went through some of the files on my table. My new personal assistant walked in.

"Sir, Mr Uthman wants to see you. Should I let him in?"

"Of course, of course." I waved my hand dismissively. Bashar walked out to inform Uthman.

Yes my new assistant is a man, I just couldn't deal with ladies and the headaches they come with anymore. I didn't fire Abida like Jawahir requested, now she works at HR department not as an assistant though. Bashar came for the interview I arranged, I was impressed with his CV and behaviors so he was hired. He hasn't proved me otherwise yet and I pray it keeps going this way, he is very diligent and hardworking.

Uthman barged in like he owns the place, as usual he took a seat on the chair in front my desk and placed his feet on top of the desk. "So how did it go? Did he finally agree?" He picked a pen and kept tossing it upward.

I ignored his childish behaviors, as always. He does it to irk me. "Yes, we finally came to an agreement. It wasn't easy." I shook my head.

"He was one tough cookie. Alhamdulillah he agreed, I pray everything goes according to plan."

"Ameen."

"Uhh..." Uthman cleared his throat. "Aayan," I hummed, my attention focused on the file in front of me.

"Aayan?!" He called out again, this time a bit louder.

"Yes Uthman, what is it?" I questioned distractedly. This contract need a few changes, I'll do that first thing tomorrow morning.

"Aayan look at me, will you?!" Uthman snapped in frustration.

"Since when did I start hearing with my eyes? Last time I checked you listen with your ears, so talk, I am listening."

He released an exasperated sigh and snatched away the file from my hand. "Now listen to me."

I sighed, I placed my elbows on the desk and leaned forward. "I am looking at you toh, what is it?

He cleared his throat and adjusted his tie. The funny this is that he is not wearing a tie, Uthman doesn't do ties. So I don't know why his hand is roaming there.

"You see, the thing is.. I—uhh...."

I narrowed my eyes. "Speak up mehn, stop stuttering, you look stupid."

"Thank you." He rolled his eyes. "Anyway, as I was sayi—

"—wait!" I leaned forward to look at his face closely. "Uthman why do you seem flustered? You're even sweating."

"Well if you let me speak, you would know." He snapped, irritated. I raised my hands in mock surrender and gestured him to continue speaking.

"Iwantyoutoaccompanymetoagirl'splace." He said hurriedly in one breath.

"What?! Uthman please speak properly, I don't speak nonsense."

"I said, I want you to accompany me to a girl's place."

My eyes widened in surprise, this is a first. "I didn't hear you right, did you say you want me to accompany you to meet a girl!" I asked incredulously, air quoting the word girl.

"Yes, what is so surprising about that huh?!"

"Nothing," I shrugged. "Just a bit shocked. What charm did you use that made her agree to meet you? There has to be something."

"I don't need any charm, have you seen me?"

"Mhmm."

Uthman extended his fist to punch my forearm. "Shut up!"

"So," I smirked. "What is her name?"

"Hannah." He smiled. "And where did you meet this Hannah? Why am I only knowing about her now?" I again air quoted the word 'her' and Hannah.

"Stop with the air quotes, she's real. I met her when I took Mommy to a wedding ceremony some months back. I have been trying to court her ever since, she finally said yes."

"Wow, that's Masha Allah, I hope dai she's a nice girl."

Uthman nodded. "She is, I wouldn't have if she wasn't. I asked around and the feedbacks I received were very impressive. And Aayan do you notice that you input Hausa words much in your sentences now? Like toh, dai, kawai and so on.."

I shrugged. "Blame Jawahir. Anyway, how did Mommy react? You've told her dai koh?" Okay, I also see it now.

"Yes I have. Wallahi I can still hear her screams ringing in my ears."

"She's just very happy. Which mother doesn't want her to see her son settle down?"

"True," he nodded in agreement whilst looking at his watch. "It's time, common let's get going."

"Okay, let me quickly finish this up." I finished what I was doing in the span of five minutes, with that Uthman and I left the office. Since office hours were over, they were few staffs left, they all nodded in respect. As we were standing in the elevator, I noticed Uthman assessing me from head to toe.

"What is it?" I asked without turning to look at him.

"You know..." he held his chin with one hand and crossed the other over his torso, his body leaning against the elevator walls. "I noticed something different about your outfit today."

I looked down at the attire I'm wearing. I am wearing a navy blue suit with a white cotton shirt, a no themed tie and black Oxford shoes. "Why? What is different? This is how I normally dress."

"It's a bit more classy, not your usual boring 90's attire." He shrugged.

"Well, that's because Jawahir chose my clothing for the day."

"Jawahir? Chose it for you? And you wore it?" He asked in surprise.

"Yeah so," I shrugged.

"Mehn you're whipped. Wallahi Jawahir has you wrapped around her little finger."

I glared at him. "We will see what you have to say about that after you get married." That did the trick and shut him up. Moron, he finally knows how it feels to be at the receiving end of his teasing antics.

The elevator finally stopped, we said our goodbyes and wet to our respective cars. I started the ignition and entered the busy roads. I decided to get Jawahir some flowers, she helped me so much on this project. My wife is such a nerd, it was she who actually advised me on how to tackle the situation with Mr Okoye and it worked.

I went to Petals and More located in Memorial drive, Center area. I have no idea what type of flowers she likes, so I went with pink roses. Girls like pink right?

Several minutes later, I arrived home. Parking the car, I alighted the vehicle and head straight to the main entrance. Since my keys are with me, I used them instead of ringing the doorbell like I normally do. I was about to push the door open when it was pulled open from the inside.

"Marhaban bieawdatik; welcome back." Jawahir beamed at me, she hugged me with one arm since she is holding an incense burner, kaskon turaren wuta, with the other.

"Tesoro." I reciprocated the hug with one hand also.

"Are those for me?" She asked with a grin when she saw the bouquet.

I breathed a laugh. "If not you, then who?" She smiled in response. Have I mentioned how much I love her smile? It lights up my whole world, one smile from her is enough to cure all my worries.

I collected the burner and handed her the roses. She collected it while mumbling a 'thank you' she then took the bouquet close to her nose and took a sniff. I couldn't resist taking pictures, Jawahir's habits are rubbing on me.

"Let's go inside, lunch is ready."

I freshened up first before going to the dining room. Jawahir is setting up the table, she must have not heard my movements because she's humming and moving as she sets the table.

I leaned against the door, like a creeper, as I regarded my beloved wife. She's currently in her element as she arranges the food whilst biting a cupcake. I took in her outfit, she's wearing a Robin Egg Blue colored gown, she neatly tied her hair with a beige colored scarf. As usual her face is bare of any makeup just her natural glow.

After she was through, she twirled around, her dress forming am umbrella like shape from the bottom. "Ya Allah! You scared me." She yelped when she noticed me.

"Sorry," I pushed myself up and finally walked into the dining room. "What's for lunch?" I asked as I took a seat.

"Waina da miyan taushe."

I hummed in appreciation. Jawahir served my food before taking a seat. I wasted no time in digging in, have I mentioned my wife hands are absolutely and utterly blessed?

I halted when I noticed Jawahir not eating. "Why aren't you eating?" I voiced out my thoughts. Jawahir shrugged, "I am not hungry."

"Sure?"

"Yeah."

The ringing of a phone from the kitchen broke the silent atmosphere. "It's my phone, I'll go get it." Jawahir said and quickly walked to the kitchen. "WHAT?!" Came her panicked voice. Ya Allah! What could it possibly be?

Pushing the place aside, I jogged to the kitchen. Jawahir is tightly clenching her phone to her ear. "How did it happen?......yes. Waiyo Allah!" She started trembling with tears. I soothingly rubbed her back. "Which hospital?.....of course I'll be there. Okay...okay....uh huh..... In sha Allah...... I'll see you there."

"What is it? What happened?" I asked when she hung up. "A-m-mmar..." She stuttered. "What happened to him?" I asked in concern. Amar is her brother, Yusuf's eldest child. Jawahir whimpered then started sobbing.

Whatever happened must be serious. "Shh, come here." I wrapped my arms around her shaking figure, she immediately wrapped hers tightly around my waist. "It's okay Quratu Eayni. Let's pray he is okay." I cooed as I rubbed her back in a soothing manner.

She pulled back a bit to look at me with tear stricken eyes, my heart clenched in a painful way. "He-he fell from the stairs..in school. They were playing roughly and one of them pushed him down the stairs."

Subuhana Allah!

"I don't even know what they were doing there. Their classes are not located on the second floor."

"I need you to calm down Ayuni, go get ready then we'll go see him okay?" I told her softly. She nodded vigorously and hurriedly went to get ready.

I collected my car keys and sat down on one of the sofas in the foyer, waiting for Jawahir.

"I'm ready, let's go." I raised to my feet and led her to the car. She told me the hospital's name and we zoomed off. I kept clenching and unclenching my fist around the steering wheel. I'm always so scared and anxious to have Jawahir in the passenger's seat.

Meanwhile, Jawahir is curled up as she released silent whimpers. I placed my palm on her thigh and turned to look at her when I stopped at a red light, "Tesoro," I sighed and took a hold of her hand. "In sha Allah he'll be okay. Don't cry but pray, pray for him."

She wiped her tears with the back of her hand, focusing her gaze on me. "I am being over dramatic right?"

"No you're not. It's okay to worry about him, I know how much you love your nephews and nieces."

Jawahir silently nodded her head in agreement. Several minutes later we arrived at the hospital. I've never liked hospital, the memories that accompany it, the melancholy and woefulness it comes with. On one hand new lives are granted here and on the other lives are constantly taken.

I stood at a safe distance as Jawahir asked for the location of the room. "Ma'am I'm the one speaking to you not my husband." Jawahir suddenly snapped in aggravation. I looked up from my phone to see the receptionist stammering as she recite the directions. "Thank you." Jawahir bit our sarcastically.

I shook my head in amusement. My little ball of fire. Jawahir led the way to the children's ward, room thirteen. We met Mama, Yusuf and his wife in the hallway. Yusuf is calming a hysterical Hairan down and Mama is pacing up and down.

"Mama," Jawahir called gaining everyone's attention, she hurriedly walked to her step mother. "How is he?" She directed the question to Yusuf. "The doctor isn't out yet." Hairan responded with a cry.

"Good afternoon Mama." I greeted. "Afternoon Aayan, how are you?" She asked tiredly. "Alhamdulillah we are fine."

I offered my hand for a shake to Yusuf. "How is he doing?" Before he was able to answer my question, the doctor came out. Hairan was immediately on her feet. "Doctor how is my son?" She sniveled.

"He is okay, he broke his right leg and dislocated his left wrist. It's a relief there is no internal bleeding but he'll have to say the night for observation because he hit his head badly."

"Can we go see him now?" Hairan asked.

"Yes, but he is sleeping be careful not to wake him up. You should come and get the prescription from my office. I wish him quick recovery."

"Thank you Doctor. Hairan, you, Jawahir and Mama should go see him. Aayan and I will go get the medicine."

The ladies nodded and ambulated to the room while Yusuf and I followed the doctor to get the prescription. Yusuf went in to get the prescription from the doctor's office while I stayed outside. I went down the memory lane as I remember the times I spent in hospital, the pain, the aches, the agony, the sufferings....

"Aayan," A hand tapped my shoulder, it broke me out of my reverie, I blinked. I turned to see my brother in law with the drugs in his hand, when he went to the pharmacy, I do not know.

I cleared my throat. "Uhm, are all the drugs available?"

"Yes," he nodded. "They are, let's go and take it to them." We walked in silence to the ward, I stayed behind and let Yusuf walk in first.

Amar is lying on the bed with an IV connected to his body, his right leg is in a white cast and his wrist also, there's also a bandage wrapped around his head and a few scratches on his face and body. It was bad, the accident was bad. I felt my chest closing up, I hate hospitals.

"Aayan," A voice yet again brought me out of my reverie, I took notice that it was Mama speaking to me. "Take a seat son." She gestured to one of the plastic chairs in the room. I discreetly released a breath and took a seat. "How is he?"

"He has been sleeping but the doctor ensured that everything is fine." It was Jawahir that answered the question. "May Allah grant him shifa." They all chorused their Ameen(s).

We stayed in the hospital till after Isha prayers. I felt like grabbing Jawahir and exiting the hospital all the time we were there, I had a difficult time tamping down my anxiety but I managed it pretty well.

*****

We have—well actually Jawahir— has been in and out of the hospital for the past few days. And I cannot say I'm enjoying it, if I had my way, I wouldn't go back but I have to do this, for Jawahir.

Right now we've picked up Nai'a and Affan from school because neither Mammie nor Mama could do it, as for the driver, he lost a brother so he has traveled. Amal is also with us.

"Ya Aayan?" Affan called. "Yes?" I answered while looking at him through the mirror. Affan looked at his sister Nai'a before his eyes flickered back to Jawahir, who's attention is solely on her phone.

"Yes Affan, what is it?" I asked again when he kept quiet. His eyes once again darted to Jawahir. "Don't worry about your sister, come on tell me." I urged.

"Wewantdominospizzapleaseeeeee."

I chuckled, understanding what he said. "Of co—

"—no." Jawahir completed the sentence. She locked her phone and looked at her brother. "You will not have pizza until you've had a hearty meal because I'm absolutely sure you didn't have anything at school."

"But Ya Jawjaw.." Nai'a whined from the back. "Pleaseeeeeeeeee." Amal added.

"No, I said no and that's final." She retorted sternly. I smiled softly to myself, she sounds exactly like a stern mother scolding her kids.

Allah ameen...........

"Ya Aayan say something please." Nai'a begged. I looked at her through the rear mirror then glanced at Jawahir. She's narrowing her eyes at me as if daring me to defy her. "No can't do Nai'a, the boss has spoken."

The three kids groaned simultaneously but said nothin after that. We arrived at hospital shortly, Alhamdulillah we spent only a few minutes there.

Three days later, Amar is finally getting discharged and I couldn't be happier, don't get me wrong I just absolutely despise hospitals.

Jawahir saved me the trouble of driving her today, I don't think I would have handled it. I have been to the hospital this week more times than I've been in the last five years, there's only much a soul can handle.

My Aunt and cousin didn't return since they left that night, in fact they left the city the after Baba summoned me, I cannot say I wasn't happy in fact I was ecstatic.

I decided to work whilst waiting for Jawahir's return, I somehow managed to fall asleep while working. I abruptly woke up to heart wrenching screams. In my disoriented state, I roamed around for the source of the noise. It took me a while to remember that it's all in my head.

And that's where it will always be......

*******

I was happy that we were done with the hospital then I ended up falling sick, I came down with a cold. Jawahir was persistent on taking me to the hospital but I didn't budge, she even gave me the silent treatment. Bit it ended after three minutes when I started coughing. She's just too cute.

So that's how I ended up in a house arrest, Jawahir wouldn't even let me leave the bed.

The sound of the door opening made me look up, Jawahir came in holding a tray with different array of foods. The way she's taking this you'll think I was in some fatal accident.

"Here's your food." She kept the tray on my lap. "Ahhh, open up." I glared at the spoon she was holding to my mouth then at her. "Your glares won't work so you better open up."

I sighed and rolled my eyes but opened my mouth. She fed me. Oh and she has been feeding me vegetables and fruits only, I can't believe I'm saying this but I miss the sugar and sweetness. This night I'm having cilantro lime shrimp with zucchini noodles.

"Tesoro I am fine, stop treating me like I'm incapable." I grumbled in annoyance. But I'm not really annoyed, in fact I'm feeling the opposite of that. It's good to have someone take care of you and really mean it, it's really very nice.

Jawahir pouted. "I just want to take care of you Aayan, is it too much to ask?" She sniffed.

I rolled my eyes yet again. "Wallahil azeem you're a drama queen." Jawahir smiled cheekily but didn't say anything.

"Have you had your dinner?" I asked after taking a sip of water. Jawahir nodded affirmatively. "What did you eat?"

"Chicken Casablanca." I looked at her with wide eyes. "How could you?"

Jawahir giggled softly and stood up. "I'll take a shower, I smell like curry."

I waited until Jawahir closed the bathroom door before going out. I walked round the house to stretch my muscles, I've been curled up in one place for a while that my muscles started cramping.

After about six minutes of mindless roaming, I made sure I locked all the door and windows before going upstairs. Concluding that Jawahir is still in the shower, I barged into the room without heads up.

I was immediately greeted with a high pitched shrieked. I looked up in a startled manner to see what the commotion is about. Jawahir is standing in nothing but a towel that stopped an inch or two above her knees with water droplets dripping down her glistening skin and her hair, her wet hair is cascading down her chest, the droplets disappearing into the towel.

God! She's perfect! Masha Allah!

Somehow neither of us moved or averted our gazes from each other, I stalked towards her like a predator will to it's prey. I harrumphed "Tesoro," My voice came out deep and husky.

She just looked at me with those alluring eyes of her and I could feel them sucking me deeper until I finally surrendered. I guided her to the bed and my hand somehow found the switch.

JAWAHIR

I woke up the next morning to a beaming ray of light, oh Allah! I let out a large yawn and recited my morning prayers that's when I noticed that the bed is empty.

I didn't know what to think so I just walked to the bathroom, I took my ghusul. After I finished dressing in the closet and came out, I saw a note on the floor near the bed. It must have fell down.

Aayan's fine handwriting occupied the paper, I'm so jealous of his handwriting. It's neat and calm I dare say, cute even. Sadly the same cannot be said about my writing. I think I missed out on the 'neat and cute handwriting' gene that every girl seems to have. The note read,

Sabahul khair Tesoro hayati,

I'm so sorry I had to leave this early, a situation came up at work and my presence is much needed there.

How are you? I mean are you okay? I hope I didn't hurt you :(

I'll see you later. I'm very sorry again.

Aayan Xx

I clutched the note to my chest with a giddy smile I can't seem to wipe off my face. I safely kept the note with the one he wrote me the other day. I started clearing the room, my whole being flushed when I saw the sheets.

I cleared the room, changed the sheets and lit up a potpourri, the giddy smile still on my face.

******

The issue must be a serious because Aayan is yet to come back and it's 5'o'clock on a Sunday evening, even his phone isn't going through. I spent the day doing nothing of importance, it turned out to be a lazy day.

I am currently watching some random movie that was playing on TV. The main female character fell in love with her neighbor, who's a very good friend of hers, but she's afraid to say it because she thinks he will reject her. To solve her dilemma, she called her best friend for advice.

So now the best friend is advising her on what to do. "If you love someone..feel it, show it, be it, speak it. If you love someone, tell him. Forget about the ruled or the fear of rejection and looking ridiculous. What is truly truly ridiculous is passing up on an opportunity to tell someone that your heart is invested in him. Live is too short, you can never be sure of tomorrow."

It feels like she's directly talking to me. Jawahir it's time you express your feelings!

But how do I do that? What if he rejects me? Isn't he suppose to do it first?

Do you want to live your whole life on what if's? Didn't you hear? It's ridiculous to pass up the opportunity to tell him you're in love with him. And what's wrong in you saying it first, for all you know he might be shy.

And I felt the courage I have never fell before, the strong urge to confess my feelings was so intense that I don't think I'll be able to tame it down, then it was decided.......

******

The million dollar question was how do I confess my feelings?! So I decided to go with what I'm known best for, I baked.

I baked a banana cake, for the frosting I made a simple red colored buttercream frosting. I covered the whole cake with white fondant then using a piping bag, I decorated the sides of the cake with roses that I obtained by using a specific nozzle. The top of the cake is bare and I carefully wrote 'I love you' in cursive with the same frosting but with different piping nozzle.

Satisfied with the cake, I placed it in the refrigerator. I hurriedly went to my room to have a soothing and relaxing bath. After that, I moisturized my body and bathed myself with perfume. Aayan once told me that he likes how I don't apply much makeup so I decided to leave my face bare just some kohl and red wine lipstick then I dusted my face a bit with powder to get rid of the excessive oil. For my hair, I used a flat iron to straighten it, mehn it wasn't easy, my hair stopped an inch or two below my butt, but I'm very pleased with the result. Aayan loves it when it's cascading down my back or my front, he is very fond of my hair just like how I am with his.

Pleased with my appearance, I went to my closet to finally get what to wear. I already know what to wear, I went straight to it and slipped it on. I looked at myself in the floor length mirror, I chose a crimson body hugging gown with a fixed sheer cape same color as the dress.

(Imagine it without the Hijab please, her hair isn't covered.)

I look beautiful if I do say so myself.

Now all I have to do is wait for Ya Rouhi habibi.

Not an hour later I heard the sound of his car stopping, I hurriedly set the dining table with the cake in the center and I hid before he could see me. If I'm correct he is exhausted and he'll want to take a shower first and it turned out that I'm right.

So I sat down on the small living room-like area below the stairs so that I could see when he walks to the living but couldn't see me.

Again not more than half an hour later Aayan walked to the dining room in his usual night attire. This is it Jawjaw, the moment of truth. I took a deep breath, straightened the imaginary wrinkles on my dress then sauntered to the kitchen.

I feel like I'm about to puke my heart out, my stomach is swarmed with butterflies forget butterflies it's the whole goddam zoo. You can do this Jawahir.

I released, for the nth time today, a deep breath when Aayan came in my line of sight. He's looking at something on the table, most probably the cake, definitely. Good he's backing me, I can spew everything out without those intense onyx eyes on me.

"Aayan," I started with my heart out to him on a silver platter, he would either cherish it or destroy it. But I'm positive for the former, if he chooses the latter I don't know what will happen to me. "You were never supposed to mean this much to me; I was never supposed to fall so hard. But you know what? I did and that's the truth. I didn't know I was falling in love with you. I just know that I wanted to be near you more than I'd ever wanted anything. I knew that your name or presence makes me smile without realizing it. I know I've never felt like this before, I didn't know what love was but because of you I was figuring it out. Aayan I-I I'm in love with you, I love you."

Silence. Pin drop silence is all I could hear, the place is so quiet I swear I can hear my heart pounding. Common Aayan, say something! The anticipation is killing me.

"Aay—

But the words died in my front when he roared and flunk the cake down, successfully destroying it... All my hard work, all the love I poured into it......

"Shut up!" He spatted lowly. "I said SHUT THE HELL UP! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHAT NONSENSE ARE YOU SPEWING?!" I've never ever seen him this angry, he was fuming with rage. His breathing coming out in pants.

"Aayan—I-I-I lo—

"I don't and cannot love you!"

Trrssssrtttt........

Did you hear that? That's the sound of my heart shattering into tons of tiny pieces. I staggered backward from the impact of his words.

"What?" I whispered dejectedly. "Aayan what are you saying? You cannot say that to me when you chose to marry me?!" I yelled hysterically.

"I didn't choose to marry you, you were a liability forced upon me. I will never love you!"

Slash!

No, no, no, NO! This, this isn't my Aayan. I don't know who this man is, my Aayan will never hurt me. "Then why did you do it?" I yelled.

"I took pity on you."

Slash!

"Pity? Pity?! If you took me pity on me then why did mix it with your emotions—

"—I didn't ask you to mix your emotions in this, you cannot blame me!"

"This?! What the hell is then! Aayan tell me what the hell is this?" He kept quiet. "I don't know what this is, but I'm willing to find out. You and I together. Isn't that what you said?! You blurred the lines yourself and then you say this?! You didn't expect us to ignore the rising feelings did you?"

"Yes! That was my plan. To blissfully ignore everything, yes. I never asked you to involve your goddam feelings."

"Fine," I used the back of my palm to wipe my tears. "Fine, then tell me what the hell was that last night? What was—

"—was a mistake!" He completed the sentence. "It meant nothing—

Slash!

Stop please!

I couldn't take it anymore, I can't. I can't stand there and let him continue butchering my heart mercilessly. There's only much a soul could bare, I can't take it anymore. So I ran, call me a coward but... It hurts. I banged the door and leaned against it as I hyperventilated from the nerve wrecking sobs escaping my body.

I slid down as I silently cried. The worst type of crying is the silent one. The one where you feel your throat clogging up and your eyes become blurry from tears. The one where you just want scream to let it all out. The one where you have to hold your breath and clutch your torso to ease the pain, but it doesn't really work. The one where you can't breathe anymore. You feel suffocated.

It hurts, it hurts so much, so bad.

It's weird how you can actually feel it in your chest when something or someone in my case, really, really hurts your feelings. It hurts when you realize you aren't as important to someone as you thought you were. It hurts so badly when you come to know how trivial you are to them.

Have you ever been hurt so bad that your whole body is crying. Your heart is aching so much you can't take a breath. You can't say a word, you can't move. Your mind is set on the agonizing pain. You just feel the burning heavy tears streaming down your cheeks.

Words hurt more than actions.

Don't kill me!!!!

Relationships are not all roses and rainbows........

I can't even😪😪😭😭😭💔💔💔💔 My heart is aching badly😢😿..... It feels like....... ugh😩😭💔

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?! THINGS TOOK A TURN SO QUICKLY I COULD NOT EVEN FATHOM!!

I was like ' what the........😯😮😧😦😟'

On a scale of one to ten, HOW BAD DO YOU WANT TO KILL AAYAN RN?!

WHAT THRE HELL HAPPENED WHEN HE WENT OUT?!

HMM🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Lemme carry my legs and go cry in a corner🚶🏻‍♀️🙍🏻‍♀️🙍🏻‍♀️

Please *sniff*

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For Jawahir, you wouldn't want her to be more sad than she already is🙍🏻‍♀️🙏🏼🙏🏼

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Yours truly
Memzyb✨🌹