Cherry was feeling better now thankfully. We were going out to dinner tonight and getting all the kids organized and ready was a hassle. The twins were fighting over clothes, Gee couldn't find Sebastian and Miles was trying to plead his way into staying home.

"You know what, why don't we all just stay home?" Jamia suggested when she saw how frustrated I was getting. "I can make some spaghetti, you can get some song writing done."

I sighed, smiling as I gave her a kiss. The kids sat around the table with me as I worked on my songs, the kids working on homework. We even make Gee his own homework, little works to help with his memory and spelling.

"This freaking sucks," Miles pouted.

"Miles, it's just math," Jamia said. "And try to keep it down to let your dad focus."

"You're not my real mom, you can't tell me what to do," he said.

"Miles," I scolded. "Apologize right now."

"No, I want to go live with my real mom," he said. "She would never make me do homework."

"You don't know what your real mom is like," I said. "Trust me, you are far better off here. Now apologize and finish your work."

Miles scowled. "Sorry."

"This freaking sucks," Gee said, pushing his work away.

"Great, now you've got him copying you," I said. "Miles, you know he looks up to you, you have to be a good role model for your big brother."

Miles huffed, rolling his eyes. Jamia gave Gerard his work back, kissing the top of his head.

"If you finish you can get a cookie after dinner," she said.

Gee gasped and quickly began working again.

"Me too!" Both the twins shouted at the same time.

"You can each have a cookie," Jamia said before going back to the stove.

I stared at the sheet music in front of me, getting more and more frustrated. Jamia rubbed my shoulders while the noodles boiled and I smiled.

"Done," cherry said.

Jamia checked over her work before she was excused from the table to play before dinner. Soon Lily and Gee were also excused, leaving only Miles, Jamia and I in the kitchen.

"That's not fair, they have easier work so it's faster for them," Miles complained.

"They're younger," I said. "And Gee is...well, Gee is just Gee."

"Can't I at least meet my mom?" Miles asked.

"I don't think that's a good idea," I said.

"Why not?" He asked.

"She lives, like, an hour and a half away and she's busy," I said.

Of course he couldn't meet Alicia, but I didn't want to break his little heart by telling him the truth that Alicia didn't want to be part of his life.

"So, maybe I can go on the weekends," Miles said. "Suzy from school stays at her dad's on the weekends."

"You can't just leave home that often," I said.

"Oh? But you get to go on tour and leave home all the time?" Miles asked. "I don't get to see my own mother but you get to go all over the world leaving me here with a bunch of people I'm not even related to? You're never home!"

Miles left, storming upstairs. I knew he was just upset but his words cut me like a knife. I walked out the backdoor that was in the kitchen, sitting on the bench out there. I saw Jamia in the window take the pot off the stove before she grabbed a blanket and joined me outside. She wrapped the blanket around our shoulders, holding my hand.

"He's upset, he doesn't mean what he says," she stated.

"No, he's right," I cried. "I'm a horrible father, I always have been. I'm always on tour and when I'm not I'm still just doing shows and traveling for interviews and photoshoots."

"That's part of the job, Frank, it's a dream come true," Jamia said.

"I missed Cherry's first words and Miles' first steps," I said. "I wasn't there when Miles learned to ride a bike or when he lost his first tooth. I-I missed the twins' school play because I was in fucking Europe."

"People miss those kinds of things for all different reasons," Jamia said.

"I always dreamed of having a family, I just didn't expect it to be so complicated with the music business," I said. "It's been tearing me up ever since Miles was born. I think it's time for me to put the music business behind me and just focus on my family."

"You're giving up music?" Jamia asked.

"It hurts everytime I leave and the music has been getting harder and harder to write," I said. "I think it's just time."

"Well, maybe a break and we'll see how you feel," she said, squeezing my knee. "If you still feel the same way then okay."

I gave her a kiss, holding her hand. I saw Gee in the kitchen and he spotted us out back. He went to join us but walked right into the glass door. I got up, opening the door.

"What's up, Princess?" I asked.

"Um, I just wanted to lets you know I found Seb Seb," he said. "He was playing hide and seek. He's really good!"

"Where'd you find him?" I asked.

"He was in my clothes basket," Gee said. "Kissies!"

We both gave him kisses on the cheek before he went inside.

"I should finish up dinner but we also need to finish this conversation later," she said.

She walked inside and I wrapped the blanket tighter around myself as I looked out at the night sky. Staring out loud that I wanted to quit music made my stomach drop, suddenly I wasn't so hungry anymore.

"Hey, I think I'm gonna skip out on dinner tonight, just lay down," I said when I walked in.

"How come?" She asked. "Are you still upset about what Miles said?"

"No," I denied. "Well, maybe that is in part of it. I'm going to go up and talk to him before laying down. Get me when you guys are done and I'll help get the kids to bed."

"No, it's okay," she said. "I can get them myself, just lay down, maybe sleep a little early tonight."

I smiled, giving her a kiss. I went upstairs to where Miles was watching videos on my ipad. I sat down next to him and he turned it off.

"I know you're upset that I've been gone a lot," I said. "And that's understandable, I'm your dad and I'm supposed to be there for you. But I'm not leaving you here with strangers, you're with your adoptive brother, your half sisters and your step-mom. She loves you, Miles, she's your legally adoptive mother. She is your mom and she cares for you so deeply."

"Doesn't mean you can just leave me here," he mumbled. "You're never home. It's like you don't even exist sometimes."

My eyes watered as I looked down.

"Listen, Miles, I know that I maybe haven't always been the most involved father," I said. "But I think that things are going to start looking up for us, I think I'm going to be staying home more."

"Yeah, that's what you always say," he said. "And then someone asks for a photoshoot or an interview or a show, then you're gone again."

"Miles--"

"It's okay, you're a rockstar," he interrupted. "Sometimes I just wish you were a normal person."

He got up and left the room, going to the bathroom. I went to my bedroom, sighing as I grabbed a pair of pajamas from the dresser. I looked on top of the surface and saw a picture of me and my band by the Eiffel tower, all of us smiling. A part of me already missed it, I love my music so much but I need to focus on my family more.

I heard Jamia call everyone for dinner as I changed. I picked up my guitar in the corner, wanting to just smash it out of anger and frustration. Instead, I simply set it down again back on its stand. Jamia joined me after she got the kids to bed. She sighed, changing into pajamas before sitting behind me on the bed, rubbing my shoulders.

"Frankie, it's gonna be okay," she whispered.

I nodded. "I just want to be a good dad. But...I love my music so much."

"You don't have to give it up completely," she said. "Just do local shows every now and then."

"I can't," I said. "They expect more, the record label and the fans, they want more. I can't just go back to being a small time band. They want tours and merch and interviews and festivals."

"Or you can finish doing music professionally," she said. "Just play at home when you're feeling it."

I nodded, taking a deep breath. Jamia kissed my neck gently as she rubbed my shoulders. I hummed, closing my eyes.

"Frank, it's gonna be okay," she whispered. "Everything will work out how it's supposed to."

I nodded, turning around.

"Miles is still pretty upset," I said. "How do I make it up to him?"

"You should spend more time together," she said. "Maybe take him to a hockey game or something, you two used to bond over that all the time."

"He needs to bond with the entire family," I said. "Ever since he found out you two weren't biologically related he's been such a mess."

"Maybe we could take him to see a therapist," Jamia said. "He can work through his emotions with someone who will listen and isn't biased like us. It's helped Gee a lot to process his emotions in a better way, maybe it'll help Miles too."

"We can try but I don't know if Miles is going to take to the idea of seeing a therapist too well," I said.

Jamia held my hand. "Just know that you don't have to give up your music or your career and I will support you no matter what you decide.