I turned around and took a look on my bedside drawer. I took a frame picture of my mom and me, and started staring at it, I brushed my mom's face with my thumb,a lump forming in my throat. If only she was here? Will she approve of Jessie? I wish they have ever met. I knew she would like her so much. They would get along. I imagined  my mom showing her my baby pictures which I would be embarrassed about , an image of the two of them in the kitchen cooking , her helping mum with the dishes popped in my head. If she was here, I would have someone to talk to about Jessie,her smile, her laugh, her voice, every single detail about her. These are the thoughts ploughing through my mind off lately.

I started looking at other pictures in my room most of them consist of my friends and I. Whenever I looked at those pictures , I felt like something is missing. All the pictures in this room, in all the other rooms and in my albums were from two years ago. There were only few ones from my childhood which consisted of either my mom and me or my mom, dad , Cassie and me. It made me wonder didn't I have friends when I was young, where are the pictures we took during parties, sleepovers, birthday and even junior prom? I only had a single picture of middle school and that was with Rivers and Evan. A funny picture of me seated on the grass flanked with Rivers and Evan, beside Rivers was a pink kind of clothe which I had been wondering what it is for years. Looking at it now closely, it looked like a part of a dress, a girl's dress but which girl? I brushed off the thoughts like I always did for the past two years . What's the point of bothering yourself with questions you know you will never get answers to?

Other weird things had been happening in my life. For example last week , I just happened to know that my dad knew Jessie. They were really close and familiar to each other. I was so excited to introduce Jessie to my dad. Imagine my surprise when I opened my mouth to introduce them and before I could close it ,Jessie was in my dad arms. He said she is his friend's daughter but I didn't believe him. My instincts told me it was something else. Not just because of how close they were but also because of how strange she acted a whole week after their talk. Throughout the ride to their house that day, Jessie didn't say a word to me. As if that wasn't enough, the continuous shaking of her head and weirds looks made me really worried. Our relationship became some what strained. I had to call Rivers after that and told him everything. He assured me it was nothing to worry about and would get back to me when he talks to her. And up till now he had not gotten back to me. I was pretty sure they had already talked long ago. And I was still worried as hell about what they talked about. I kept thinking did he tell her about mom?But she had been acting worse than just knowing that I lost my mom.

Apart from that, last week Rivers, Evan, Jessie, Cassie , James and I hanged out in the park. We played hide and seek. The surprising and weird thing was that Jessie knew all my hiding place that I was hundred percent sure that I was the only one that knew about them. Rivers convinced me that it was just coincidence but I didn't believe him for a second. Rivers, Evan and Jessie kept looking in my direction and whispering to each other. I kept assuming they were talking about me.

The last weird thing that happened to me was yesterday. I went to pick up Cassie from Jessie's house and guess who I saw, everyone. They were all there except me. Rivers , Evan and Alice. They were having some sort of meeting without me. I felt hurt and very suspicious.

My hair, like my life, was a rumbled mess after pacing for two hours , thawing at it out of frustration. What was wrong with the people around me. It looked like they were hiding something from me. I didn't even know who are the guilty and who are the innocent. Everyone is a suspect including dad and Jessie. I don't trust people easily and am usually a closed book, for fear of hypocrisy, pretense and betrayal.

I hated the feelings I was having that night about my friends, I was so sad that I couldn't trust my them completely, for my instincts told me they are hiding something from me. I ruffled my hair again then sat down on the carpet holding my knees together and thinking of what to do. She was main problem : Jessie. I liked her so much. I remembered how jealous I got when I saw Rivers hugging her the other day. I also remembered how cute she was looking in her Hello kitty pajamas and the way she blushed when I called her my new best friend. But I was scared of trusting her. I was afraid of being hurt again.

After many more thoughts, I decided to talk to her tomorrow. To open up to her and to here what she have to say. I was going to give her room to talk , maybe she would tell me about what they were scheming. I was sure if I open up to her, she will do the same to me. I was planning on taking her to a beautiful Chinese restaurant to eat and have fun but I cancelled it. We are going to hakoona Matata to talk and have fun. And then I would decide whether to to give her my heart or not. And that was how I slept peacefully that night looking forward to the next day.

**********************************

"You really suppose to be  exercising yourself, you are  breathing like you have  ran ten miles," I said the next day when Jessie opened the door to my passenger's seat with a slice of bread in her hands and breathing heavily. She was looking really cute in a white cotton wool long sleeve shirt and purple skirt with leggings underneath and a purple loafers. Her brown hair was flowing down her back.

"Well hello to you too Nate," she said bringing me out of my thoughts.

"So where are you taking me to ?" She asked as she made herself comfortable in my passenger's seat.

"Somewhere special," I said. Hakoona Matata is a really special place to me. I didn't know what so special about. Maybe everything. It is not just the beautiful flowers or the fantastic hill or the calm and nice atmosphere but everything in the place.

"Please tell me," She started begging me.

"Don't worry we are almost there. And even if I told you I don't think you know the place. The only people that know the place is Nicole, Alicia, Rivers , Evan and me. ," I told her. I don't  know how we came to know about the place. But I knew it is our little spot since when we were kids. And I had never seen anyone there except us . If the people of this town knew the place it would have always been full to the brim with people because of its beauty. My friends and I have this unspoken promise about never telling anyone about the place. I guess I will be the first person to break this promise but it just felt so right.

"Okay what's so special about the place?" She asked the question that I just finished thinking about. I still couldn't find the answer and couldn't even find the right words to describe the place without feeling like I had understated its beauty and serenity.

"I don't really know. Just wait and see. Whenever I go to the place I just feel comfortable and at ease. "

"Why are you taking me there?" She asked again.

"I feel comfortable and at ease. And I talk freely there," I told her the truth.

"So you want to talk?"

"Yeah,"

Few minutes later we reached our destination. I opened my car door with a huge smile on my face. Immediately I came out of the car , the peculiar smell engulfed me. It was a mixed smell of dust and various flowers. I went to the other side and opened Jessie's door.         

"Always the gentleman" she quipped.

We stood side by side enjoying the wind and looking at the vast field. The wind blew Jessie's hair , I brushed it off her face and playfully ruffled it , which earned me a glare from her. I laughed it off and I took her hand in mine . And together we walked towards the hill enjoying every moment. I thought she would ask me why the  dusty field is special to me because we had to climb a hill before we reached the real beautiful garden of Hakoona Matata. Instead she kept quiet and closed her eyes enjoying the beautiful smell and air.

"Can you climb," I asked.

"Urhmm maybe ," she hesitated before answering. The hill is quite a task if you are not an expert climber.

"Don't worry I will help you," I said putting my hands around her waist.

"Walk slowly girl, do you want to break your legs and make Jason break mine too," I said teasingly when I saw her trying to walk fast.

"I won't break my legs by just climbing a hill," she puffed.

"You definitely will," I said.

"Oh really, the first that get to the top of the hill gets a free ice cream,"she removed my hands from her waist then shouted. And before I could run I saw her like a flash on top of the hill. I was so astonished when I saw her climbing so fast.

"Omg Jessie, you said you don't know how to climb,"I gasped for air when I caught up with her.

"I said maybe,"she said with a smirk.

"But you were so fast, how did you do that," I was astonished.

"Well I urhh went to mountain climbing in California ," She said. I took her hands in mine and we went to the beautiful garden.

"Hakoona matata ," I heard her muttering. How did she know the name of the place?I had no idea. Maybe Rivers mentioned it to her.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," .

"Did you just say Hakoona matata,"

"Yes what's the matter ," She asked as if it was nothing. Maybe she just said it because of how beautiful the place was,not because it was the name of the place.

"That's the name of the place," I said.

"Ohh really, it suits the place. A place where all your worries will be gone," she said dipping her fingers in the lake.

"Yeah,"  I took my normal seat in the grass putting my feet in the lake. It was the best feelings in the world. Sitting with the grass itching you in a nice way , your feet in cold water, watching the most beautiful sight and your hand wrapped around the hand of the one you love enjoying its warmth. She sat beside me doing the same. We were holding hands and our legs were brushing each other in the water.

"So," I heard her voice combined with the sound of noise she was making with her legs in the water, the fluttering of the wind and the beautiful sounds the birds were making. But my thoughts were elsewhere. As usual I was thinking about mom again.

" I miss her," I whispered.

"Who?"She asked. I thought dad or Rivers told her about it. I guess they didn't.

"My mom ,she died in the car accident," I said. Before I finished my sentence, she stood up and wrapped her hands around me. She didn't say anything but her silence said it all. She was there for me and that's all I needed. Her warmth was enough for me. I kept quiet enjoying the feeling of being held. I swallowed back my tears and asked.

"You know it right?,"

"Yeah, Rivers told me," she said.

"You know you remind me of her," I told her truth. I didn't know why whenever I was around her I remembered my mom.

"Really?" She asked with a sad smile.

" Yeah, Did he say anything about me being hospitalized?," I asked remembering those fateful days. The experience that I will never want to happen again. Those months of pain. The months I completely changed.

"Yes,"she whispered. So they told her what I became. I knew she hated me then. I started feeling so scared. She will never agree to be my girlfriend. I gave up on asking her out that instant. But I had to explain it to her so I continued.

" Those few months were the worst months of my life. After I was discharged from the hospital I became someone else or something else. Depression made me a completely different person. No one told me I changed but I just knew. I became a heartless beast.  I stopped talking to many people, being friendly like I used to be, reading my books, trusting people, allowing people into my life,"

"Stop saying this things , you are not a heartless beast,"

"I am,".

She rolled her eyes in response.

"Not trusting people is not bad. It's actually a good thing. ," She added, surprising me. I smiled holding her hands tighter.

"if you knew  me before the accident you would have liked me much more,"

"I like you the way you are," She smiled and that moment I decided that no matter what she will be mine.

"You are the first person I am telling all these things. You are the first person I have trusted in a long time,"I said sincerely. I then muttered silently so don't fail me. I hope she didn't hear me.

"As I said earlier , not trusting people is a good thing.  Don't trust anyone not even those very close to you," She told me. I kept quiet for some minutes trying to understand what she is talking about. Even those very close to you. I think she was trying to pass a message. By those very close to me who did she mean? Dad? Rivers?Evan? She?

"Okay not even you," I joked.

"Yes,not even me," she said with some what a serious face.

" I don't like trusting people that will end up hurting me . The earth is full of people that are hypocrites . They pretend to be people they are not.  Just to get on your good side or something else. I hate them the most. Let's say someone wants something from you then he won't go and ask you straight away but pretend to be something then get what he wants that way. And then maybe he is scheming with his friends on how to get what he wants. Why can't  he just go and ask you directly" I told her deep from my heart. If I ever find out one of my friends are pretenders , I will never associate myself with him/her ever. That was an oath I made long ago.

The tension was getting was wide so I asked, " are you up for another race," before she could answer, I picked her tiny figure in a bridal style, she started shouting and punching my shoulders, I chuckled and threw her into the lake.

"The first to get to the end of the lake gets a free ice cream" I mimicked her then jumped after her. She started complaining about how she didn't bring an extra clothe to wear so I beat her. As we reached the end of lake she said "Hey Nate look over there"

I looked at the direction she was pointing to but couldn't see anything. I turned around to ask her but see she was already out of the lake sticking her tongue at me. "I was the first ,"she started dancing.

"I said first to get to the end of the lake not first to get out," I said stretching my hand for her. She held my hand to help me out but instead I pulled her back into the lake. She started splashing water at me and that's how we started a water fight.

An hour later we came out of the lake. I brought out a t-shirt from my boot and gave her to wear. We went to cold stone on our back home and bought two Oreos ice cream. Coincidentally , it was also her favorite. She insisted on paying for one since it was a bet, I let her pay but later on put back the money in her handbag. We stood by my car side licking our ice cream and taking pictures. We took many beautiful pictures. The first one my hand was slung over her shoulders and both of us were smiling cutely at the camera. The second one was a selfie were both of us were licking ice creams. The third one her head was on my shoulders. Then a selfie with the beautiful view of sunrise behind us.

*******************************

It was a peaceful Saturday afternoon. I woke up as usual about 2 feeling very excited and happy. Since the beginning of the hols I always woke up in the afternoon. But today was not a normal day. It was the day I was going to ask Jessie out. I jumped out of my bed with a bright smile and headed to the bathroom. I took a long warm shower planning on a romantic way to ask her out and singing at the same time.Cassie even knocked at my door and said she was heading over to James before and I should please spare their eardrums. I told her I knew I wasn't JT and even added love you which surprised her so much then continued singing much louder.

I finished with the shower and went over the sink to brush my teeth. I put in my tooth paste but instead of brushing I started doing funny faces and funny moves while staring at myself in the mirror. I looked as the last face I made. Gosh, I looked like a rabbit or one of those faces from Snapchat. I started laughing because I tried making a face of an emoji and failed terribly because I ended up looking like a hippopotamus. I am going crazy aren't I?

I finished brushing my teeth then smiled at myself in the mirror. Wow! my teeth were sparkling white. I started staring at my reflection in the mirror then bursted out laughing for no reason. I finished with the bathroom and went back to my room thinking of how to ask Jessie out. I planned everything out, two hours later I was ready to go to Jessie's house. I was in a very good mood and no one could ruin it, or so I thought. No one could stop me from asking Jessie out not even Rivers well except for.....I heard a loud beeping sound. O my God!!the fire alarm. I heard dad shouting "Cassie Cassie get down fire fire!!" even though Cassie was not in the house. I couldn't process anything. I started recalling the fire of that day, the fire of that accident. I didn't even think about dropping my toothbrush as I rushed downstairs and met dad, together we rushed out of the house. It was when we were safely out of the house, I realized that I didn't smell the burning nor did I saw the flames.

"Where is the fire,"dad asked.

"I don't know,"dad answered.

"I think there is no fire," I told him when I saw there was no sign of fire.

"But who switched on the alarm,"dad voiced out my thoughts.

"It is better to check everything thoroughly first before going back inside the house,"A voice behind me startled me. I gasped and turned around to see a woman in a overall covering her hold body. Her face was covered with and she had those lenses that scientists uses.

"The fire service are on there way,"she informed us with a thick accent. My dad and I were staring at her weirdly thinking of who she is.

"Oh sorry, I forgot to introduce myself, my name us Beneatha and I work as the DDA of the fire service,"she said extending her hands to dad. What the hell is DDA, I started thinking but I didn't bother asking. Dad shook her hands and they started talking. Few minutes later the Fire service came. Beneatha excused herself and went to talk to the men. She removed her and from where I was seated her face looked quiet familiar but I couldn't recall where I knew it. After she finished talking with them, the men went back into their car and drove off.

What the hell did she tell them, I started wondering. When I asked her about it she told me , as their assistant she briefed them that she had already checked the house and there was no sign of fire so it was probably just a mistake. She told me that was her job. I thanked her and headed towards our house. She called me back but I ignored her as I was tired of sitting in the sun and she was acting quiet suspicious. When I entered the house I saw Cassie and James in the living room. Cassie ran and hugged telling me she was the one that mistakenly put on the fire alarm. On other hand James ran upstairs as fast as he could. Cassie started giving me stories but I was not in the mood to hear so I told her I will talk to her later as I started climbing the stairs.

I just wanted to go back into my room , lye on my comfortable bed and continue planning on how to ask Jessie out. I was almost at my door when I noticed something was amiss . Something was out of place. The corridor smelt dusty, I turned around and noticed my mom room's door was ajar. The door hadn't been opened for two years so I was quiet surprised. I started walking towards it but dad called me so I decided to go to dad and check the room later. As I reached the first step , I heard noise coming from mom's room and I turned around. It sounded like a shelf of books fell down. I opened the door wider to to my surprised saw Jessie, Rivers and Jason standing there frozen. None of them could move and from seeing their expression they were all afraid. What the hell are they doing here? There was no use of asking the questions because I knew none of them could answer. I looked at them for any clue as to why there were here. The only thing I saw was a book in Jessie's hand. I walked to her and took the book. It was so dusty so I wiped the dust with my hand. It was a medium side pink and blue book. Jessie and Nate were written in each side of the book and beneath it was friends forever. I looked up at her befuddled but she wasn't looking at my direction instead she was chewing her fingers so I opened the first page.

And behold I saw a picture of me when I was younger and beside me a little cute girl wearing a blue dress. Her blue eyes looked exactly like Jessie's. Underneath the picture was  the day I met the best girl and the second best female in my life. I couldn't process anything else.

"Is this me and is that you?" I asked pointing to the pictures.