Far Too Long

Fall, 2021;

"I don't think I'm ready..." Jessica says with tears in her eyes as she turns to her husband Danny who stood across from her.

"You've been ready for twenty-four years, Jessica. When you see her it will just come to you." He says soothingly as he takes her trembling hands.

With his thumb he wipes away her tear and gives her a soft kiss on the cheek. She turns her head in the other direction and plays with the gold chain on her left wrists.

Danny looks down at her hand then back at her. He could read her instantly by the constant twist of the chain.

"I'm sorry... I know this has to be hard for you too." She whispers

"He's a part of her... I understand." He says

Jessica checks the time then turns around to grab her purse.

"Text me when you get there, okay?" He says as he follows her out the door

She takes a deep breath and fixes her posture. "I will..." Jessica takes one last look at Danny then catches a glance of their family portrait with Danny and her two children.

"Hey Jess." Danny says getting her attention

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I love you too..." she says

//-//

Jessica was on her way to meet her daughter who she has not seen since February 19th, 1997- the day she was born.

Twenty-Four years ago Jessica gave birth to a beautiful little girl. She was only twenty when she became pregnant but made the decision to put her baby up for adoption. Prior to giving birth she made sure to find the perfect parents for her daughter. Sure enough she did, six months along in her pregnancy. With the support of her family she was able to make the right pick. A couple named Robert and Laura adopted the baby girl who they then named Natalia. After the adoption was final Jessica made the hard decision to cut contact.

At the time it was the best option for Jessica. At the age of nineteen she married her high school sweetheart, Sam. After gradation they moved away and got married. Shortly after Jessica became pregnant. When Jessica was four months pregnant and soon after telling Sam, he suddenly passed away. All at once Jessica had lost everything. Her family did not take her leaving home well. After Sam's passing she had no choice but to move home. Sam's passing hurt Jessica beyond words. Raising a baby was not something Jessica could do alone. Having such a big part of Sam was a painful reminder. She had to rebuild her life again and could not do that as a young mother.

Recently, Jessica got a message from a website that works within the adoption agency. Her biological daughter Natalia found Jessica through this site and wanted to meet her.

When Jessica got the message her heart sunk. She promised herself she would see her daughter again in this lifetime. Now, after twenty four years it was finally here.

Jessica is in a much different place than she was when she had Natalia. After recovering from birth and going through the grieving process Jessica went to college, got a degree, married her husband Danny soon after, moved to Montana and now has two children.

There were so many emotions and thoughts running through Jessica's head. She kept thinking of the worst things that could happen instead of thinking about how good it could go. She was scared to admit that she has another family. Jessica has been carrying twenty four years of guilt. She also knew that she'd think of Sam and it would be painful. Jessica prayed that sam would be by her side.

//-//

By noon Jessica reaches the restaurant where they planned to meet. It was right on the water, a small little place in Montana.

Jessica texted Danny that she made it then headed inside. Her body was sweating, her heart was racing and felt like it was skipping a few beats. Jessica kept checking her surroundings hoping that maybe she see her.

"Hello, ma'am. How many?"

"I have a reservation actually. Jessica Huston?" She says softly

"Jessica?" A soft voice says from behind

Jessica quickly turns her head and sees a tall, beautiful girl. She had wavy, long, dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, and a smile just like her biological father. Jessica couldn't believe her eyes. Her first born was standing right in front of her.

"Yes, that's me. Natalia?" Jessica smiles as she steps closer to her

Natalia nods her head and gives Jessica a soft smile.

"Can... can I give you a hug?" Jessica stutters

Natalia nods again as she steps closer and goes in for a hug. Jessica hugs her and feels Natalia hold her tighter. That's when she felt her first tear fall down her face.

After their hug the hostess took them to their table. They sat across from each other. Natalia and Jessica couldn't take their eyes off of each other. Jessica tried her best to not cry. She didn't want to overwhelm Natalia or make her uncomfortable. She was told to let Natalia set the pace.

"I'm really glad that I was able to find you..." Natalia says

Jessica smiles and nods her head. "I was very happy to see your message and I'm really glad you wanted to see me. You are really everything I imagined you to be. Very beautiful." She says breathlessly with a smile

Natalia smiles then let's out a soft giggle "My parents showed me a few pictures of you. You look just like each one I have. It just feels super crazy seeing you in person. You're very pretty too." She says happily

"Well thank you. Im glad I don't look too different from those." Jessica laughs "What brought you to this area?"

"Before I reached out to you, I was actually starting to plan the road trip that I'm on right now. I just graduated from Grad School and before I start working in November I wanted to travel. Montana is always somewhere I've wanted to visit. Growing up in the Midwest it was all farms and such. You were born in Minnesota, right? At least I know that's where I was born." Natalia smiles as she plays with her bracelet on her wrist which caught Jessica's eye.

"Yes, I was." Jessica says happily

Then, there was a pause. Jessica noticed that Natalia you as getting a bit anxious. She stops to see if she's okay.

"I'm sorry... I just have a lot of questions and I bet you want to know a lot about me... but I just don't really know where to start." Natalia panics

Jessica smiles "Please don't apologize, I can imagine that you have a lot to ask. You can ask me whatever you want. As long as you are comfortable." She says soothingly

Natalia takes a deep breath and pulls out an envelope. It was very familiar to Jessica. It was purple and Jessica could see her hand writing. The purple envelope was the same one Jessica gave to Laura and Robert the day she said goodbye to Natalia. It was an envelope with pictures.

Inside were two of Jessica, four of Jessica and Sam, then three of just Sam. Seeing them brought back a lot of memories and trauma as well.

"So this is... Sam?" She asks

"Yes. He was twenty in this picture. It was taken on his birthday." She laughs thinking back to that day

"Did he know about me?" Natalia asks

Jessica sighs and nods her head. She then knew that Natalia already was told that Sam was no longer alive.

"He did, he was still with me when I found out I was pregnant with you."

"I'm really sorry about his passing... it looks like you were really in love."

"We were. We met in middle school. He lived three blocks from my parents house. Come high school we started dating. He was actually friends with my sister Jane first before we became close. But we really loved each other." It has been a while since Jessica has openly talked about Sam. She knew today she'd had to give the whole story- only if Natalia wanted it. She has been through this in her head many times.

"How many siblings do you have?" Natalia asks

"I have three. Ann who is the oldest, Jane, and George who is the youngest. Then there is my mom and dad- Dorthy and Albert." Jessica says proudly

"Can I see pictures?" Natalia asks

"Of course." Jessica quickly gets out her phone and shows Natalia everyone in the family. She showed her all of the grandkids, the spouses, even the family pets. Jessica continued to tell Natalia about the Lange's. She was very interested in everything Jessica had to say. She asked questions and laughed along with Jessica.

As time went on it just felt so natural. Being with Natalia put Jessica at ease. She felt so complete, though she knew soon she'd have to say goodbye.

"If you don't mind me asking... are you married now?"

The question had finally come. The question Jessica has been dreading. She was afraid of how Natalia would react. Would she be hurt to know that she moved on and started a new family? Natalia didn't give a clear idea of her feelings towards all of this.

Jessica looks at Natalia and gives her a soft smile. She started to play with her gold chain again. Whenever Jessica was anxious she would twist it around her wrist over and over. The chain was from Sam. It was his gift to her on this first anniversary of dating. She has never taken it off. It made her feel like Sam was always with her, especially right now.

"I am. I married my husband Daniel nineteen years ago." She says quickly

"Do you guys have kids together?" She continues to ask. She passes for a moment "... I'm sorry, I'm asking too many personal questions." Natalia backs down

"No, sweetheart, I don't mind..." Jessica takes a deep breath then continues "Danny and I have two kids together. Max is seventeen and Carmen is fourteen."

Jessica pulls up the picture of the two. She immediately looked at Natalia to read her reaction. She had a faint smile. She stared into the photos. It was her first time "seeing" her siblings.

Jessica started to cry. She could not hold back her emotions any longer. Jessica felt so guilty. Seeing Natalia in person just made it so much more real. For years she has had this on her mind. Not a day goes by that she doesn't think about her. All she wanted to know is what she was thinking.

"I'm sorry..." Jessica says wiping her tears

"I'm not mad..." Natalia says

Jessica looks up at her with confusion. She could see the tears beginning to form in Natalia's eyes.

Jessica didn't know what to say. She was caught at a blank.

"Natalia, I just want you to know what I just wanted what was best for you... I was in a dark place when you were born. I wasn't over Sam or his death. He was my world and when I lost him I lost everything. When I was a teenager I moved away from home. I didn't talk to my family and it was just the two of us. Then came you and... we were so excited. But I couldn't do it alone. I loved you too much to keep you for myself. I thought it would be selfish and that I wouldn't be giving you the life you deserved. For so long I've been asking myself how you must have felt or still feel now. I never meant to cause pain." Jessica says

Natalia tears up and looks away. She needed a moment to process everything. This was a lot for her. Growing up, being adopted never bothered her. She had a wonderful childhood. Her parents gave her all the love in the world and everything she'd ever need. She wouldn't trade them for anyone. But the love she had for Jessica was a different kind of love. A love that could grow but would never truly break. At the age of twenty-four, she understands why Jessica did what she had to do. Her parents described the situation to her as well. Jessica was fragile back then. She was lost and scared. It was all because of Jessica that Natalia was in love with the life she was brought up in.

"I thought about you a lot when I was younger. When I turned eighteen I knew that I could reach out. And I'm sorry that I didn't... I just wasn't ready. It's hard because I don't want to hurt my parents, though they understand. But I'm their baby. Their only child. I felt like I owed it to them. I still feel like I do, but I'm working on that. I understand why you did it. I just want to thank you for giving me that chance." Natalia says

Jessica reaches over and holds Natalia close to her. Finally, after all of these years, she was finally at peace.

Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top