Emma

I could have sworn I was gonna get better when I set my vaporizer on the night before. It was no luck, because I’m sneezing like crazy on my ride towards the gig. The red nose isn’t helping either, since my costume is making me sneeze more than normal. At least the people on the bus don’t stare at me anymore. Most of the regulars know me and are used to my huge feet and blue hair. I try to duck my head lower since my bow was touching the roof of the bus, but it’s no use.

 I end up taking my nose off when I get another sneezing fit. Thanking the bus driver, I carry my roller cart down the bus steps and walk into the blazing sun. I’m wearing my favorite costume, an orange and yellow number with puffed up sleeves and fun overalls. It doesn’t take me long to find the house, since I can hear kids playing and the huff from a jumping balloon. I double-check the address just in case, no need to end up at the wrong house if I’m wearing a big red nose on my face.

 I knock a few times, but no one answers, so I finally let myself in. I realize why when I end up in the backyard where there’s a good amount of people drinking and talking. It hardly looks like a party, and I’m kind of bummed about the lack of decorations. I blame my disappointment on my current health state and start setting up.

I recognize the hostess’ voice from our phone call. I expected her to be like every mom who organizes their kids’ birthday party, overly cheerful and a hint of perfectionist, but the mother is nothing like so. In fact, I wonder if the girl is drunk when she motions me over towards a small corner in the middle of the yard and orders me to do my job.

 I try to brush it off, but there’s just something off. I noticed it the moment I walked into the house. It’s as if there’s a permanent cold draft in the atmosphere, despite the heated temperatures.

 I don’t let this get to me though, because I’ve planned tons of new things for this show. I’m in the middle of plugging in my stereo when I hear it. Laughter. I can feel the tiny footsteps coming my way and internally smile. It’s show time and I’m ready to give it my all.

 “Hi, boys and girls! I’m Emma, and who’s the birthday boy?” I ask, using my ultra high and friendly tone.

A shy boy with big baby bird eyes takes his thumb out of his mouth to raise his hand. He looks a bit hesitant and stands far behind the other kids. I make room for him to walk forward before bowing before him and offering my hand to shake his. He gives it to me slowly and I feel his tiny sweaty fingers encircle mine, before I turn to bring the music higher and start my performance.

 I sing songs with the kids, encouraging them to sing along. It takes the boy a few minutes, but I can feel when he starts to warm up to me. It’s not long before he’s laughing with the rest of the kids and leading our dancing train around the backyard. I’ve yet to make any eye contact with the adults in the room, since the kids are my priority.

I take out my balloons and spend the next hour blowing up characters and animals for them. I get this happy sensation when I see the birthday boy smiling at me. Every kid in front of me is special, but there’s something about the little boy. Something fragile. I make sure to be extra careful with him, while we play. I do a few magic tricks, which have been something that I’ve been practicing for my shows. The little kids love it, which means I’ll be working on perfecting more of them.

I’ve had this tingling sensation all day in the back of my neck, though. I didn’t want to pay attention to it, but there’s something funky going through my body, almost like a shiver. I don’t know what it’s about, so I try to ignore it the best I can. The birthday boy, Tyler, ends up holding my hand for the rest of the show and it’s the most adorable thing.

At one year old, he gives the distinction of someone whose trust isn’t gained easily, so I make sure to hold on to his hand just as tightly. I’m playing pin the sticker on the donkey poster, when I feel a hand rip through my grip on Tyler and pull me aside.

“Alright, it’s time for the cake. We’re done.” Almost immediately, Tyler starts to bawl loudly completed with a few ear piercing screams. He’s holding his arms out to me and I want to grab him, but I can’t come between him and his mother. A few of the people from the rest of the party are staring. I don’t know what the woman whispers to the little boy, but he stops crying and instead places a resigned look on his face.

A look that almost chills me to see on someone who’s so small. I’ve dealt with kids who threw tantrums, kids who got so excited they puked on my super sized clown shoes once, but I’ve never seen a kid look so sad to be pulled away. 

The show was almost finished anyway, but I’m still irked. I take a few deep breaths and look on the Brightside. I can go home and sleep off my cold faster, and with that I start packing. I finally have everything packed when I decide to head towards their bathroom for one last stop before I go. I know the city bus doesn’t arrive until a few more minutes, so I take the opportunity.

The bathroom is small, but clean. I blow my nose a few times, and then wash my hands. I stick my nose back on, before walking out of the restroom. I’m about to head out, back for my stuff, when a large body stops me from leaving.

“You were really good with him. How much do I owe you?” A familiar voice says.

I want to reply, I swear I do, but I’m frozen like a popsicle. For a moment I can’t even breathe, which isn’t that exciting since I couldn’t breathe before, but it’s like I’m suffocating. The tingling sensation from the entire day reaching it’s ultimate point. I know I’m just staring at him, and I’m wondering if he’s recognized me, but there’s nothing in his eyes except maybe a little impatience now. Guy who doesn’t smile is offering to pay me, probably for my services at his son’s birthday party. I’m so shocked and crushed at the same time.

I clear my throat, ready to answer, except I start to choke on my own saliva. I look like I’m practically dying in front of him and he looks completely taken aback. I don’t think he really knows what to do as I make weird almost breathless noises. I’m almost ready to breathe and speak again, when my body uses the opportunity to sneeze.

My face feels strangely lighter when I go back up for air, which is probably because I’ve just sneezed hard enough for my clown nose to take off my face like a rocket. I see red shooting through the air, before a large and strong hand catches it mid-air.

“Shit.” He curses, before bringing his hand up towards me with my nose in it. I look up to him, just to watch the slow recognition in his eyes.

“Well, this is awkward.” I say, because it’s been silent for a few moments and it’s starting to get to me.

“You’re a clown.” He states the obvious, but it’s actually kind of cute and I hate myself for thinking it’s cute since his son and probably wife are both outside celebrating. Also, I’m sure I have white face paint running in places it shouldn’t.

“I like to think of myself as a entertainment entrepreneur,” I say, hooking my right hand and sliding it to the left with a thumbs up. He’s silent again, looking at me like I just made him lose all faith in humanity.

“Yeah, alright, okay, I’m a clown and I’d like my nose back.” I finally say, trying to fix the hole I’ve dug myself into. Besides, his hand is still extended towards me but he’s enclosed my nose in his palm without realizing it.

“The one you have now is already pretty red.” He claims, taking a good look at the Rudolf the red nosed reindeer state of my nose.

“My honker is none of your business.” I say, half appalled because although being in costume isn’t embarrassing, having my nose runny and red as an apple is.

The one time I’m not trying to make him smile is when I get to see the corner of his mouth quirk up. Anyone else would have categorized it as a twitch, but I know better. I feel like I’ve just given birth to that little tiny fraction of a smirk. It was a crazy nine months, and giving labor was pretty painful, but the final fruit of my labor had been born.

 The saddest part? Seeing his mouth half smile feels like a drug has just been injected into my veins. I haven’t tried any drugs so I’m not sure, but being around him was starting to feel like an addiction, especially when the corners of his eyes showed what they could make him look like if he smiled more often. I

’m officially stoked to see him outside of the gas station, regardless of the circumstances. This is probably not the most honorable road to take, but that almost smile pretty much rendered me. The things I would give up and do to see him laugh out loud. I was in a jiffy, alright.

 “Honker? What are you? 55?” The smirk is getting wider and I’m almost ready to just drop dead in front of him from an overdose.

“Twenty.” I correct. I wonder how old he is and if I can get away with asking him.

“Oh.” He says in response. And just like that the lingering amusement slides off his face and he starts looking pensive. It’s not the same sullen look he always has, but it’s not his smirk either. 

“How much do I owe you?” He asks again, all business. 

I want to try to make him laugh again, but this is definitely not the place. I realize he has a party to get back to so I let him know my fee and take the check he hands me.

It’s not until I’m sitting at the bus stop with napkins smeared with the remnants of my make-up that I start to frantically look through my pockets for the check he gave me.

I bring it out to the light right as the bus comes into view. I read the check carefully until I find his name and signature.

Jesse Lockwell.

Thank you guys so much for reading, voting, and fanning! Emma's costume on the side :)