Emma

For a moment I wonder if my detachable scanner can be used as a weapon. The rain started coming down pretty hard just a few minutes before, but the station was quiet as ever. That’s why when a male figure with what appeared to be a covered face sauntered in I nearly peed myself thinking I was going to get myself assaulted. I start breathing right when his hoodie comes down and the dark stubble of his face hits me with familiarity. Then my breathing gets all messed up again when the familiarity stops and the butterflies start.

It’s the guy that never smiles.

The guy that makes my night shift bearable walks in but does his best to ignore me. The first time I saw him walk into the station, I was completely tongue-tied. It happened as I was ringing up his stuff and he looked right at me, waiting for me to tell him his total even though it was clearly displayed on the screen beside my head. It was just in the way he looked at me, like he was looking right through me. In all honestly, it wasn’t an easy look to be leveled with, but if you were brave and looked right back at him you could see how there was something really important missing.

The second time he walked in, I resolved that the thing missing was laughter. Laughter just so happened to be my specialty. I tended to go to school during the day and work the night shift at the station, but on the weekends I had taken up being a clown.

It started during my senior year of high school. My dad had been a professional clown his entire life, so when he retired, and I showed an interest in what he did, he was all too happy to show me the ropes. Usually, it was just small party gigs where I dressed up and did face painting with the kids, or sang songs. I also had my own show set up, where I did various tricks. The thing was, I loved making people laugh. The sound of laughter made me so happy that I couldn’t explain it.

 The third time he came in and bought diapers, all those hopes were dashed. I kept trying to find a wedding ring on his hand, or any indication to show he was unavailable. But, what was more obvious than diapers? Regardless, every time I would catch him walk in with the same sullen look on his face, I made excuses. Maybe he had a little brother? Maybe the diapers were for him?

I leave him to rummage through the items in the aisle he’s in, but I can see him through the reflection of a small mirror I have under my keyboard. He’s so much taller than the aisles and so it’s not very hard to catch sight of him. I look down towards my empty conveyer belt, while I feel him near closer. Everything is on high alert the minute I see his selections being set down on the conveyer belt. My eyes scan a Snickers bar and a bag of Pull-Ups. Then my eyes travel up his retreating hand, past his arm and shoulder, and finally to his face. He stares at me with the same blank, almost pissed off look, that he gives me every time. I make it a point to smile at him as openly as possible, while I ring him up.

“You look kind of angry!” I say, before smiling wide and grabbing the Snickers bar in my hand like I’m trying to display it in front of an audience. He raises an eyebrow, waiting for the rest of what I’m supposed to say. He’s never once replied to my jokes. Once he let out a bit of air from his nose, which I took as progress, but that was it.

“I’d like to see you after this Snickers bar. You’re not you when you’re hungry!” I end it off lamely, half laughing at how awkward I’ve managed to make things. I start to wonder if he’s ever even seen the commercial I’m quoting.

“They’re getting worse.” He says, almost deadpans, really.

“My jokes?” I guess.

I watch as he nods and looks around the room, probably hoping to be anywhere but here.

“Well, you’re a tough crowd.” I say, looking up at him with a bit of disappointment. I don’t want to be disappointed, but it’s been months and I’m starting to highly doubt that I can make this guy laugh.

Something shifts in his expression, I don’t think he’s even seen me give up before. Not that I am. If anything, I’m stubborn as hell, but my small lapse seems to have triggered something in him because he looks like he’s about to say something.

But then he’s shaking his head and walking away. I’m standing there in shock, until I realize that I haven’t given him his Snickers. Before I even know what the heck I’m doing, I’m standing outside the station waving my arms like a crazy person with a candy bar in the air.

“What are you doing?” He yells out to me, already running out of his idling car.

“You forgot your chocolate!” I yell back. Suddenly, I’m realizing that I am most certainly going to get sick, but it doesn’t matter because the guy who doesn’t smile is talking to me.

He’s also getting drenched in the rain because of me, but then again, he was the one who forgot his candy.

“Can I try one more?” I ask over the pounding of the rain. I watch him roll his eyes, but he doesn’t ask for me to clarify, which is kind of cool because it’s like we’re on the same page and being on the same page with him feels special.

“What do you call a computer that can sing?” I continue. I didn’t even notice when we got closer and huddled under the short roof from the station.

“a dell?” He says, completely serious.

This time I have to laugh because that joke has always gotten to my corny side, but he stays stoic and suddenly I feel like I’m completely wasting his time.

“How did you know?” I finally ask, trying to get the moment over with, although I’m relishing to have his attention.

“It was on a Laffy Taffy or something.” He states, looking down at me. I feel like any minute now he’s gonna walk away and never see me again since I’ve acted like a complete nut case.

“Oh…could have sworn that one was gonna work…” I’m standing in front of him looking pensive, racking my brain for another shot. Except he talks before I can say anything.

“What did the-“ He starts, but doesn’t continue.

“What did the what?” I ask, intrigued that he hasn’t left yet and is still talking to me.

I watch him shake his head, so that little drops of rain splatter from side to side.

“I was gonna make a gay joke, but fuck it.” He finally says, before turning around and heading towards his car.

It takes me a full minute to get it. And then, I’m the one who’s laughing.

Eeep, I will be updating this short story every day, sometimes even more than twice, until it's completed. Let me know what you guys think!

Ps. might even update again in a few hours lol