Dear Kuya,

This month has been a historic one for me as I took my first ever midterm exam as a college student, and this month, I have marked my first half of first semester as a college freshman. During our midterms week, it felt like a week-long battle of having to squeeze by mind while only having 2 hours of sleep a night before. Plus the overwhelming amounts of workloads tasked by other subjects. There are times that I no longer open my social media accounts as I am now prioritizing sleep over recreational activities. For a week, I ate nothing but junk foods, instant noodles, and fast food. As a nursing student, this feels like a mortal sin. But, who cares about your health if you are about to fail, right? Just kidding. Looking on the brighter side, my efforts have so far paid off. I was able to pass two of my major subjects with an outstanding ranking, and I was able to ace my oral revalida midterms for my minor subjects. While this month has been tiring as it normally is, I was able to discover and appreciate learning beyond every situation: that in college, it is always gonna be more like a survival. Nursing school has been much more difficult than I expected it to be but this is what I wanted and what I have wished for a long time. I broke down a lot of times this month but the most important thing is I get to sleep and wake up, ready to go on another battle after another like it was an infinite battle of surviving. I found learning more motivating if theories are applied in hands-on settings like when we had our blood typing activity. I felt like a nurse, who is not afraid of blood and needles. That related learning experience or duty next year is something that motivates me to survive my first year so I will be able to be capped and pinned and finally apply theories in nursing practice. 

While reviewing our Understanding the Self subject, I was able to realize something crucial as to why me and my mom always get into a fight. According to theories, behaviors and interpersonal relationships with a specific person are affected by unresolved issues that provokes tension subconsciously. I find this theory to be making sense and it has made me wonder, what makes me hate my mom so much over simple things? Is it because of something she said to me a long time ago or something she did that made me feel mad that was unresolved as time went by? That I don't exactly know, and is yet to be known by me. On the other hand, I and ate went to Dingalan, Aurora for a quick trip during halloween. It was a last-minute decision as one of her colleagues was unable to confirm. We went trekking, island hopping, and we rode a zipline, overlooking the mountainous range of Sierra Madre. It was just a 2-day and 1-night trip but it healed so much in me worth for years. While we were on our way, I realized we're gonna pass by my former hometown, Palayan City where I spent 7 years living when my mom decided to take me away from where I really belong. It was dark on the road, but I could see the establishments, and landmarks I usually went to when I was still a child. A lot has changed, even my elementary school looks so modern now. Despite the darkness, I still recognized the streets where I usually walk. The streets where I walk with only 20 pesos in my pocket and talbos ng kamote as my meal for the day. The streets where the tiny, innocent Jeremiah used to walk on, and the walls that have been a witness to my laughter and tears. I was able to revisit my past as we traverse the city that witnessed my early metamorphosis. Even if it was just minutes of passing by those streets, I realized and appreciated a lot of things. To my ate and kuya, thank you so much for not stopping to find me. Thank you for trying. Thank you so much for giving me a life, and for bringing me back to the place where I truly belong. Thank you for making me feel loved, and cared for. 

This month, I was able to reunite with my UDM friends as we went to Cavite for my friend's debut. This was the first time we went on a trip as college and nursing students. It was actually funny because on our way, we witnessed someone getting hit by a car, and there are 8 of us who are nursing students. Luckily, the victim managed to stand up, and luckily we were not in our clinical uniforms because what are we gonna do? Identify the anatomy of the injured part I guess? These trips are now just a 'once in a blue moon' occurrence as we find it difficult to schedule trips based on everyone's availability but when we do, it's always gonna be fun because it's them.

-Jeremiah