"Hop on."

The night air is cold. Jeongguk can feel it all around him, flowing through the silk shirt, Taehyung's shirt, blue with little orange patterns all over, swirls and random circles and images.

He can see his breath escape his mouth as he takes a moment to just look up, and the stars are bright but the moon is brighter, making the next inhale a bit sharper, a bit more exaggerated.

His head tilts to the side next, a miniature grin on his face while he looks at Taehyung, Taehyung who's currently planted on his bike, motioning for Jeongguk to get on and ride it with him, go god knows where.

"Dude, you're drunk," Jeongguk says, mood considerably lightened, and that's all he feels right now, is light. While the grass squishes underneath his feet, the moon illuminates Taehyung's face, the tip of his nose, making his eyes look darker than normal, Jeongguk feels weightless, like he could float up right now and touch those stars if he just held his breath.

Taehyung just matches his smile, looking Jeongguk up and down while Jeongguk does the same to him. They're in the front lawn, music still loud but it's considerably more quiet, and Jeongguk feels like he can breathe. Isn't sure how long that'll last with the way Taehyung's looking at him.

The way Taehyung's looking at him. Jeongguk can see it from here.

Jeongguk knows virtually everything about his best friend, how he looks when he's mad, happy, upset, everything inbetween, all his verbal cues, the way his eyes narrow when Jeongguk says something cheeky.

He's never seen this look before.

Never.

Not even a few minutes ago. That was eye opening in a different way, that Taehyung looked both enamored and concerned simultaneously. That Jeongguk is both enamoring and concerning.

But now it's something different.

This look is so shameless, so honest. It burns into Jeongguk's face, his collarbones where Taehyung's shirt hangs down on them, his heart, his mind. He wonders if this is the way he's been looking at Taehyung all this time, if Taehyung could feel the burning too. If he liked it. He knows he's looking at Taehyung like that right now.

"What?" Jeongguk feels compelled to ask, standing near the mailbox, arms folded over each other about five feet from where Taehyung is, still waiting on the bike, patiently.

Taehyung grins at Jeongguk, full mouth on display, and then just shakes his head, "Nothing," he says, and then he motions for Jeongguk to come towards him once more. "Just hop on."

Jeongguk rolls his eyes, and adverts them, going back to staring at the sky. "Drunk driving is one of the leading causes of death among-"

Taehyung scoffs, and rings the little bell on Jeongguk's bike three times to shut him up. He's surprised no one stole it, it was sitting out here the whole time, lazily propped up against the front porch.

Jeongguk's cold. He abandoned his throw up stained shirt inside, Taehyung saying something like, "It's a white shirt, I'll buy you a new one at a thrift store for like 3 dollars," and now he feels cold, but he likes it. He feels less dirty, less wrong.

"It's a bicycle Gguk. We're not gonna die." Jeongguk tears his eyes away from the sky to look back at Taehyung, about to give some witty response about how presumptuous that is of him to say, when Taehyung speaks first, a gentle, "If it's any consolation, I'll drive safely. And I'm not drunk."

Jeongguk's mouth curves, "just tipsy?" He asks, teasing, like they always do, but this time it feels different. Everything feels different, but in a good way. A really good way.

Taehyung shakes his head, and his hair shakes, dark brown, nearly falling over his eyes if it weren't for the strands tucked behind his ears. How is it that Taehyung looks so good, always? How is it that despite how Jeongguk felt just minutes before, Taehyung is making him feel like he looks good too?

Jeongguk stops, just staring, mulling it over in his head, and Taehyung speaks again, "Com'on. Live a little," his grin is so wide now it takes up the expanse of his face, Jeongguk's grin creeping up at the same time, "the second half of the night doesn't have to be as shitty as the first half."

Jeongguk relents, arms slipping down to sit dormant at his sides. Sway a bit. Embrace the cold instead of try to fight it, the way it sobers him, the way it clears his head. Makes Taehyung clearer.

"Where would we even go?" Jeongguk feels himself subconsciously inching closer to the bike, closer to Taehyung, who's legs remain firm planted on the ground, sitting on the front edge of the bike seat, inviting Jeongguk to sit behind him.

Taehyung's grin gets impossibly wider, and Jeongguk doesn't need to look up to see the stars, to admire, because they're right here, five feet away from him.

They shine. "I thought you'd never ask."

But still Taehyung just smiles at him, them stuck in this giddy sort of stare off, both just looking, looking at each other, and for the first time ever Jeongguk feels honest about it too. About the way he stares at Taehyung.

Because Taehyung's staring at him like Jeongguk is not just the only thing he sees, but the only thing he wants to see, chooses to see.

Just Jeongguk and Taehyung.

"I'm beginning to think you're never going to answer," because Taehyung's still just looking at him, because Jeongguk feels like a blushy teenager with a crush, and he's still not sure why thinking of Taehyung in this way feels so right. Why he's never tried doing it openly before. Why he's trying it now.

If Taehyung's thinking of him in a similar way.

If it's all just in his head.

But then Taehyung just chuckles, tearing his eyes away from Jeongguk to stifle a laugh and then bringing them back with more sureness, more intensity, and Jeongguk can see it, because Jeongguk knows Taehyung.

And earlier, when Jeongguk had felt like he was drowning in Taehyung, in Taehyungs eyes, when he was wondering how he'd feel, he was wrong, because he's known for awhile now.

He's been swimming in Kim Taehyung's eyes for ten years.

So when he smiles, and says, "Just get on the bike pretty," and when Jeongguk's heart stops, "it's a surprise." He knows what Taehyung's thinking.

Without a sound, Jeongguk not knowing what to say, how to get over the feeling of his chest constricting and the wonderful, terrible, electrifying sinking of his stomach, a contrast to the sinking from the other day, this ones grounding and unraveling, but in a good way, a Taehyung way, he walks over to Taehyung, and swings a leg over the bike, hopping on the seat.

It's small bike. They fit nonetheless.

They fit, because Jeongguk's so close to Taehyung he can feel his heart beating through the back of his chest, can feel the skin of his shoulder underneath Jeongguk's chin, because his shirt rides really low and the area is bare, and that's were Jeongguk's face is.

He can feel Taehyung breathe from where Jeongguk looks up, at the stars as Taehyung begins pedaling, feels the cold wind against his face but he feels warm, the warmest he's ever been because this is the closest he's ever been to Taehyung.

Every part of them is touching, together, and Jeongguk feels this rightness, and he's sober. He can still feel the alcohol, but his mind his clear and he just feels elated, this indescribable giddiness that seeps through ever portion of his body, almost oversaturates his heart.

"Taehyung." Jeongguk says after a few minutes of just this nice silence, just Taehyung. He breathes it out, voice soft but Taehyung can hear it, because their faces are painfully close.

"Jeongguk." Taehyung just answers, his voice breathless while he pedals, and Jeongguk knows he'll probably get tired sometime soon but it hasn't happened yet. Jeongguk isn't sure what he wants to say, but he just knows he wants to talk. Nonsensical shit. "How are you?"

Taehyung emits a soft, silent laugh, but Jeongguk can feel it, under his mouth in the way Taehyung's shoulders shake, under his hands in the way Taehyung's abdomen tightens, and he feels so light, "I'm doing incredible. How are you?"

Jeongguk's own shoulders shake. "Fantastic," he whispers, and he lets himself really hold Taehyung, pressing into him as close as possible, and Taehyung hums, the sound low, warm.

"Good," he lifts a hand from one of the handlebars, raising a hand up to point up at the sky, eyes following his fingers for a moment before he adverts his attention back to the road in front of him, sloped downhill, and he says, "Because tonight it's just you, and me."

Jeongguk feels this disgustingly wonderful feeling, and he's been feeling it for the past ten minutes or so, or maybe fifteen, but it's more intensified now, occupying everything, everything he is.

"Where are you taking me Kim Taehyung?"

Jeongguk decides to live a little, releases one of his arms from their hold around Taehyung and brings it up, up to touch his hair. It's the nape of his neck, his fingers carding through it, and Taehyung doesn't actually move at all but he settles into it, hums again.

He's silent for a second as Jeongguk brings his hand forwards, touching, feeling the hair that swirls around his ear, "food, drink, pleasantries."

The hand moves farther up, feathers along his jaw, almost non existent, but he feels it, feels how warm Taehyung is, and he knows Taehyung can feel it too, how warm he's making Jeongguk and he knows because Taehyung stops breathing for a moment.

"Then, I'm gonna show you something."

Jeongguk's fingers continue, and it's a wonder Taehyung's still pedaling, because now they're touching his neck, tentative.

"And what might that be?"

Taehyung shakes his head slightly, biting his lip to hold back a smile.

"Oh right, how could I forget? You're being secretive about it." Jeongguk nuzzles closer to Taehyung, leaning further in, and everything smells like Taehyung, like home.

"It's for the greater good. Just bear with me for now."

Jeongguk just leans further, inhales, content, and he wonders if Taehyung's getting tired, but it's hard to focus on that when everything feels so right, when he feels so in place, so comfortable.

"Aye aye cap'n." He whispers lazily, and when Taehyung's shoulders shake, his do too, in unison. Laughing together, and Jeongguk's never felt closer to his best friend, never been closer, and it feels so good he hardly has the urge to talk anymore, just wants to soak in this feeling.

"Wood. And sea salt." Jeongguk mutters, and Taehyung makes a confused noise. Jeongguk just inhales again, smiling, "a hint of guava, that dumb shampoo you always love to use-"

"Hmmm?" Taehyung questions, clearly not thinking of much but steering, moving his legs, and Jeongguk being this close. Jeongguk just giggles, moves impossibly closer, traces a hand up and down Taehyung's chest now, pointer finger catching in the dip before dancing back up to a collarbone.

"You," Jeongguk says, smiling, "you smell like wood. Like sea salt and guava."

Taehyung's breath catches again, but he smiles, and Jeongguk wonders if he even needs to make note of that anymore. The smiles seem permanent at this point, feel permanent, and before Jeongguk can think, he's speaking, and his voice sounds like honey.

"Is that a good thing? Like a good combination I mean, to smell like wood and sea salt, and-"

"The best." Jeongguk stops him. "The best combination."

Taehyungs heart beat is loud, and Jeongguk can feel it, can feel it because now he's pressing a palm flat across Taehyung's chest, and he's not sure when it got there, or how they got there.

How did they get there? In this position?

Jeongguk doesn't care, because Taehyung says, "When did you start thinking of me like that?"

Jeongguk nearly jumps off the bike, screams, and he automatically tenses, but Taehyung's still calm, and he's not finished speaking and maybe that was out of context, maybe it could mean something different than what Jeongguk thinks it means, "Noticing how I smell? Thinking of me enough to enjoy what you noticed, to find me in those things, in sea salt and wood, and in guava."

Jeongguk thinks for a moment, but he's not tense anymore, because Taehyung sounds happy. Because the questions he's asking don't make perfect sense, but Jeongguk knows exactly what he means.

"Sophomore year."

He remembers it. The exact moment.

Taehyung smiles even wider, and his heart beats even faster, and Jeongguk feels amazing.

"Can I tell you something?"

Jeongguk nods, against his shoulder, wanting to hear. To listen.

Taehyung inhales deeply, turning a corner, and they're closer to a main road now, closer to where Jeongguk imagines food will be, "Junior year. About ten months ago. We were doing that project in math."

Jeongguk hums, he remembers. He remembers every bit, it all, and it's because it involves Taehyung, someone so impossible to forget.

"You leaned in really close to me, you wanted to look at my answers. I remember, you had this," Taehyung's words are interrupted by a laugh, his own, "this little crinkle inbetween your eyebrows, because you'd been working for so long."

Jeongguk's heart. It's indescribable, his heart, what's it's doing, the way it currently feels, because Jeongguk remembers.

"So I just reached out and I," another laugh, "I touched it, and you looked at me, with your eyes those," he exhales, ragged, and maybe it's because he's pedaling the bike, but maybe it's also because he's scared, "those eyes."

Jeongguk holds tighter.

"And I was frozen. You asked if I was high, because my eyes looked fuzzy," he laughs a bit, small, "but Jeongguk, I couldn't think." Jeongguk feels frozen now, because he remembers this clearly, remembers the confusion, the warmth of Taehyung's fingers on his skin.

"Because that's when," Jeongguk can't think, "That's when I realized that you, you smell like fresh air."

And Jeongguk is the air, because all he can feel is this soaring feeling, something he's never felt, never dreamt of feeling. Goosebumps cover his skin, and it's cold, but that's not why.

These goosebumps are warm, spread heat throughout his body despite the chilling feeling of the wind catching in his hair, catching in Taehyung's all the same, but he can't even feel it, can't even register it, because he feels like fresh air. If Taehyung associates him with fresh air, that's what he is, he's no longer Jeongguk,

He's floating.

"Fresh air and those soda flavored chapsticks, the one that's supposed to smell like coke that you use all the time?"

Jeongguk laughs, because he's wearing it right now, put it on to erase a nasty feeling, and maybe his breath smells mildly like vomit, but his body smells the same. He's still the same. And he's incredible, and Taehyung's even better, "I know the one, yeah." He licks his lips slightly, tasting it, and it's sweet, and he hope it smells sweet too.

"Well, it smells nice. Just good, the only way I can think of it is as good, and I just," Taehyung's heart, "thought you should know."

And Jeongguk can't. Can't breathe, think, move, because all he feels is the person he's touching, the person who's touching him, and he isn't sure what to do, because Taehyung.

Because the moon is bright, and the street is pretty. There's a few cars, all moving slowly, and everytime the lights fly by they catch on Taehyung's cheekbones, on the shell of his ear. Because they're them, and they're together, and he's being more honest than he's ever been in his entire life.

"Taehyung." He whispers after a minute, a minute of just closing his eyes, of just feeling, of just thinking, enjoying.

"Jeongguk." The voice is quiet, and Jeongguk can't hear it clearly but he can feel it, feel the hum of Taehyung's vocal chords on his skin from the way his cheek presses into his shoulder, and Jeongguk feels whole.

"What's happening right now?"

He's not sure if Taehyung will get what he means, what that question means, the vague thing that it is. But Jeongguk knows, Jeongguk knows that there's so many obscurities but the only thing that's not unclear right now is Taehyung.

"I'm not sure dude," Taehyung laughs a bit, sound rumbling, soothing, and Jeongguk presses closer, "but I think I like it."

Jeongguk's curious. His brain interprets things in variations, thinking about the double meanings words carry, the meanings behind the double meanings, the way a slight change in tone can make a word go from something beautiful to something ugly.

And everything leaving Taehyung's mouth is beautiful.

Maybe, Jeon Jeongguk is smart, because "Like what?" Because, his brain is on overdrive, but he feels content, not overwhelmed, and maybe the problem isn't that he's stupid, but that his mind is unclear. This jumbled thing, words blurring together.

And maybe it's because he'd smushed them together himself. Maybe all he needs is a little breathing room, or someone to help him coax the right ones out, find the good meanings behind them, the bad ones, because even if it's not something you'd like, it's has a meaning all the same.

And maybe Taehyung, "This." Maybe Taehyung's words come to him easily, "You." Because he knows, he knows what Jeongguk's thinking, how to zero in on one thing, push the others out, and maybe that's what Jeongguk needs.

What he needs is this. Because his brain is clear, and he's never felt more breathless, but he's also never felt more refreshed, never inhaled in a way that feels this good before, because the oxygen is almost sweet on his tongue, and maybe he's just in love.

And Jeongguk knows.

It's not all in his head.

And he smells it, the night air, the blades of grass, the car exhaust. The greasy food from a nearby mcdonald's, the lingering tinge of vodka that makes his stomach swirl, the breeze on his face even has a smell, and its beautiful and everything's beautiful.

The sea salt, the wood, and the guava.

The fresh air and the chapstick.

"Yeah," and Jeongguk is sure, "me too," that Jeongguk isn't stupid.

That exactly what he needs is Kim Taehyung.

That he's in love.

-

this is my favorite thing i have ever written