"Where am I?" Sarah panicked to herself. Realization crept up on her like an old school friend that you didn't want to see, yet always seemed to bump into.

"Welcome to the Underworld. My name's Jane and I'm a deadaholic," a girl peered down at her.

Sarah's mind raced, trying to remember just what had happened yesterday.

"Wait, what? The Underworld?" Sarah exclaimed. "I can't be dead. Tomorrow. It's my wedding."

Jane watched half-amused, half-concerned, as Sarah scrambled to her feet, hysterical by this point. Tears streamed down her face like rain on rubber.

"This is a joke right?"

This went on for some time before Sarah calmed down. Jane approached the heap of a woman and opened her arms, offering an embrace. Sarah gladly accepted as she squeezed the stranger tightly. Jane patted her softly on the back.

"There, there. Could be worse, you could be dead. Woops"  Jane let out an awkward laugh. Luckily for her Sarah didn't seem to hear her last comment.  After a few minutes Jane broke the embrace.

"Thanks," said Sarah as she wiped her nose with a sniffle, taking in her surroundings for the first time. Sarah blinked as she realised she was standing on a giant book.

It was quite peculiar, as she viewed the pages, she could see images flash before her eyes. Images of her life, up to the very point where she kicked the bucket. After being lost in those images for a time, she noticed the still, silent, river.

"So how did you end up here Sarah," Jane pondered, half inquiring, half letting her vivid imagination concuct gruesome and extraordinary deaths.

"You know, I'm not really sure," replied Sarah, a perplexed look had formed on her face. "The last thing I remember was relaxing at pool side with some take-out. Then I got all light headed and it all went black. Then I woke up here."

"Bummer! Oh well at least it painless. Just be glad it wasn't 'Jellybomb!'" Jane retorted.

                                                                                 #

The river was dead. Metaphorically and literally. Fred hated his job. Ferrying souls to the Underworld was a boring job, tiring and bothersome, but until he could find something better it would have to do. He swam at a decent speed as the river offered little resistance.

A few moments later he arrived at the book, letting out a sigh as he stood up to check the 'numbers'. He had to fill his daily quota of souls ferried.

A bunch of noisy commuters shouted at Fred. He turned his hollow skeleton skull in response to the hecklers, peering down at them as he leaned in.

"What do you want?" Fred's voice boomed over the crowd. "Bloody mortals, wanting everything done at the drop of a hat. That's what Fred hated about mortals, even after they were dead they never failed to still be annoying. With a frown he lowered himself back into the water.

"Well hurry up and get on before I die of old age,' Jeered Fred while laughing as the loud bunch climbed atop his boney back.

"Next stop the Underworld," exclaimed the ferryman as he swam off into the distance.

"There must be something more to it!" Jane's voice startled Sarah.

"What do you mean?" replied Sarah, her eyes scanned the horizon for the giant skeleton. "And who was that?"

"Oh that's just the ferryman. He takes the souls of the dead in and out of the Underworld. Well, just in I guess, and I mean about the way you died. That last group was the natural death lot. So I'm guessing you didn't kill yourself 'cos doing that the day before your wedding just ain't cricket!" Jane grinned.

Sarah looked at Jane with a pained expression. 

"Murdered me?" Tears had begun to well up in her eye's. They threatened to explode, unleashing the hysterical woman again.

"Oh come on, not this again! Don't start crying again," she patted Sarah gently on the back. "I know what, I'll tell you a story! That's bound to cheer you up."

"So there once was this young girl right, and well, she got in with the wrong crowd. She thought the world was her oyster, her eye's sparkled with the gift of life. Her heart soared with every new experience. But alas. One thing lead to another and she was hooked on drugs. Not just any old drugs, 'Jellybombs'!

"What's a 'Jellybomb'?" asked Sarah while she listened intently.

"Okay right, well it's real name is 'Jethricine Spannermoronicide'. They just call it 'Jellybomb' because it looks like a bunch of jelly beans stuck together. They are kind of hard to swallow whole so must people just split 'em up, but not her! Anyway it ultimately lead to her death."

"That's so sad, did you know her?"

"It was me, duh. I thought that was kind of obvious. Well I guess we should figure out what happened to you. Do you have any enemies?" Jane paced about infront of Sarah making various 'Sherlock Holmes' poses.

"Not that I know of! I was going to be married tommorow. Who could do something like that?" Sarah asked.

"Who would do something like that you say? Oh my dear girl, you'd be suprised what people are capable of." Jane puffed on her imaginary pipe with a grin. "Now tell me what happened before you were murdered."

"Well I woke up around seven o'clock. Like i had every day so far. My fiance had got me breakfast in bed, cooked it himself!. It was great, all fancy and that. Then I went for a swim and um, that's about it. Oh and then got lunch. Then died I guess." Sarah told the details of her day to Jane best she could, but it just seemed like any other day.

Jane stood in a thoughtful pose, her lips perched, grasping her imaginary pipe.

"This is a tricky case indeed Watson my dear.' Jane's performance was cut short by the ferryman's return.

Fred looked at the next names on the list of people he had to carry across for his daily quota, his last trip for the day. Then he'd get to go and enjoy a smooth pint down his local. All of a sudden a shoe stuck him on the side of the head.

"Oi ferryman,' Fred turned to see Jane standing with one less shoe, hopping on one leg. "When are we getting out of here mister?"

Fred sighed, "When it's your turn," he said.

"Well whens that? And can you help us! My friend here wants to know how she died! Come on! Please! Please!"

"For Pete's sake woman, I'll do it, just quit your incessant whining!" Fred half-turned the page, looking on the list of new arrivals. "What's your friends name?"

"Sarah Smith," Sarah chimed in, perhaps a little too loud, clearly nervous.

"Sarah Smith," Fred said, echoing her as he ran a boney finger over the page. "Ahh yes here we are. Murder."

"And? We figured out she was murdered. But how?"

Fred grumbled, "Lets see here, after a few moments of reading the Skeleton turned to Sarah. "How ironic your fiance poisoned your breakfast."

Upon hearing this Sarah broke down in tears. This is where Fred would of rolled his eyes, if he had any. He sighed again and returned to work.

"Where are you going?" Jane shouted after him. "We've been waiting for ages! Take us across already."

Fred always did have a soft spot for the ladies. 

"Alright, alright. Just stop her bloody crying!"

Over much protest from the other people waiting to be ferried across, Jane took Sarah's hand as they quickly climbed onto the ferryman's back, looking out to the furthest reaches of their vision. Nothing could be seen for miles.

The ferryman swam and swam and swam.