CHAPTER 8

"SO TIRED..." Jacques groaned while he stretched his arms after being in a plane for more than an hour. Nakatulog siya bago pa umalis ang pribadong eroplanong sinasakyan, kagigising lang niya at nasa himpapawid pa rin sila.

While stretching, his head turned to face the person sitting next to him — Cloud — who's staring at him with a disapproving glint in his eyes.

Jacques frowned. "What?"

Cloud answered him in a low voice that only they could hear. "Alam kong hindi ka nakakaramdam ng pagod. It's me, Lord Jacques. No need to pretend."

Dahan-dahang bumaba ang mga braso niyang inuunat habang nakatingin pa rin kay Cloud.

That's right. He's with Cloud. He knows his condition. No need to pretend. But pretending was his second nature. It's normal for him to say that he's tired even though he couldn't really feel it because he was trained to say it to look like a normal person.

"I was trained to act normal." Yon nalang ang nasabi niya habang nakatingin pa rin kay Cloud.

For some reason, he likes looking at Cloud, especially his light brown eyes. Maybe because when Cloud looks at him, there's no pity in his eyes even after knowing his condition. Cloud looks at him like how a normal person would look to another normal person. Even his best friend, Kaius, looks at him with pity sometimes.

"You are normal, Lord Jacques." Cloud spoke with firmness. "You don't need to say 'you're tired' to be normal. Being insensitive to pain doesn't make you less of a normal person."

Jacques couldn't stop the sad smile that slowly crept into his lips. "But they say pain is what makes us human..."

Cloud scoffed at his remark. "There are a lot of things that makes us human." Then Cloud reached out to his messy hair and smoothened it like it's a normal thing to do. "What I was trying to say is that, when you're with me, just be yourself. No need to pretend. I know how tiresome it is."

And Jacques found himself nodding and not disagreeing and he doesn't know why. Was it the genuine emotion in Cloud's eyes? Was it the warmth of his hand that was smoothing his messy hair? Or was it his deep baritone but tender voice?

Cloud smiled at him before dropping his hand that was smoothing his hair.

Jacques couldn't stop the half-scoff and half-chuckle that came out from his mouth, earning a frown from Cloud.

"What's that?" Cloud inquired.

Jacques glared at Cloud, "you're an asshole."

Now, Cloud's face was full of confusion. "Huh?"

"You say nice things like now, but hours ago, you're talking bullshit." Now he's pissed again, remember what happened in the living room few hours ago.

Cloud's confused face slowly disappeared and was replaced with amusement. "Oh ... you're talking about me kissing your mouth clean?" Mahina itong natawa, parang nasisiyahan pa ito sa iritado niyang mukha. "I still want to kiss your mouth clean." Cloud wiggled his eyebrow at him, "wanna try?"

Pinakita niya rito ang kamao. "Try and I'll hit you."

Mahinang tumawa lang ang katabi. "Relax ... I'm not gonna kiss you without your permission."

Jacques scowled, wanting to beat the man beside him for saying bullshit things. "And you think I'll give it to you? Dream on, asshole."

Cloud just blatantly stared at his lips, Cloud's index finger was softly caressing the bottom of his own lips seductively, while staring at his.

"I'll make you want it." Cloud said with confidence that made him scoffed.

Jacques smirked. "I wanna see you try."

Cloud matched the smirk on his lips. "Oh, I will."

Jacques became irritated again. "Why are doing this anyway? To piss me off? To make fun of me? You need something to laugh at? You're bored? What is it? Because I don't understand. I know for a fact that you're not gay. I mean, you are known in Spain as a philandering bastard. Leaving countless broken hearted women, so I'm confused as to why you're doing this."

"I don't know too." Cloud's answer came as a whisper, like he himself doesn't really know the answer. "I just wanna kiss you."

"Are you a bi?" That's the only explanation Jacques got.

"Maybe..."

Jacques looked at Cloud disapprovingly. "Maybe? Really? So, what, you're still unsure and experimenting and I happen to be the lab rat?" Jacques was getting pissed in every passing second. "I don't want to lose a good friend, Cloud, so please, experiment on someone else."

Ilang segundong natahimik ang katabi bago nagsalita. "I can't."

He snorted and spoke in sarcasm. "Why? Because I'm fun to experiment at?"

"No." Then Cloud looked at him, "it's because you're the object of my affection."

Jacques froze at what he heard. Is he joking? Must be.

"This is my first time feeling this way towards a man." Cloud said in a soft voice, like he was afraid of Jacques' judgement. "And I'm confused. I wanna keep a lid on it, but sometimes I can't stop myself, hence the flirting. I know I'm making you uncomfortable, I wanna stop too, but I don't think I can anymore — no, more like I don't want to stop. It's exhausting because the more I try to stop it, the more it comes out."

Nakatingin lang si Jacques kay Cloud. Iniisip niya kung anong isasagot niya sa mga sinabi nito. Whatever it was, he should be honest.

"I don't feel the same way." Jacques said honestly. He has to clear things between them. "I like you as a friend, Cloud."

"Ouch." Cloud said playfully before chuckling.

"I'm serious." Jacques looked at Cloud seriously. "You're a good friend to me, Cloud, and I don't want to lose a good friend."

"Mmm..." Cloud nodded with his chin before looking at him like he was reading the emotion in his face. "Do you feel ... disgusted over what I just said?"

Jacques stayed silent because he felt disturbed by the fact that he didn't feel any disgust or discomfort at what Cloud said, he was actually shocked that someone would like him knowing his attitude and bad temper.

Jacques know for a fact that he's an unlikable man and so hard to deal with.

Cloud took Jacques' silence as a no — because Cloud believes that if Lord Jacques was disgusted, he would be cursing him to no end by now— and the Cloud felt relieved, "thanks for not telling me to stop liking you."

Jacques' face contorted in annoyance. "Why would I? It's your feelings. I don't have control over them."

Cloud has a lopsided grin on his face as the bastard looked at him, his eyes were back to being irritatingly charming. "So ... does that mean I'm allowed to flirt with you?"

Jacques throws a sharp glare at Cloud. "Will you even stop if I told you to?"

Cloud grinned. "Probably not. I'm a straightforward kind of guy. I don't believe in hiding my feelings, I'm too old for that shit. I was just confused, still am actually, that's why I was hiding it."

Bumuga ng marahas na hininga si Jacques saka napailing. Confuse, huh? "Whatever. Flirt as much as you like. It's not like something will change. You're a friend and that's it. Don't get your hopes up."

"Careful, you might eat your words."

"Too much confidence will fucking kill you." Jacques said while sending sharp glare at Cloud. "But I'm warning you asshole, if you flirt with me, be ready for a fucking beating. You can keep your feelings, but I will never accept them."

Tumawa lang si Cloud saka tumingin sa labas ng bintana ng eroplano. Si Jacques naman ay napatitig sa katabi.

He should feel uncomfortable around Cloud. The man just confessed that he likes him for fuck's sake! He should feel discomfort, but to his surprise, he doesn't feel that way. On the contrary, he feels more comfortable with him after his confession, because now, he understood where Cloud was coming from, why he acts the way he acts around him.

But Jacques was pretty sure that if Cloud flirts with him again, he will hit the bastard.

Though he's surprise that a womanizer like Cloud would like a man. Hindi niya personal na kakilala si Cloud noon, pero naririnig na niya ang pangalan nito. Two of his cousins were broken hearted because of this man.

A smug smirk made its way to Jacques' lips. He can already imagine the shock on his cousins' faces if they find out that the elusive Cloud Sebastian Beaumont likes him — a man.

Staring at the man up close with the intent of examining his face, it's no wonder women fell for Cloud. Cloud was a very handsome guy, the kind of handsomeness that could be considered rugged but charming. He has a sexy profile and graceful demeanour when he moves.

No wonder he's known as a philandering bastard. Cloud has the face, profile and aura to back it up.

"Don't stare at me for too long, Lord Jacques," Cloud suddenly spoke before turning to face him with a teasing small grin on his lips, "I might get my hopes up."

"Fucking asshole." Jacques tsked.

Cloud let out a low deep chuckle. "You really have a filthy mouth — hmm, speaking of mouth," kinuha nito ang paper bag na dala-dala nito mula pa kanina at may inilabas doon. "Here you go."

Inilapag ni Cloud sa ibabaw ng hita niya ang isang transparent plastic container. May laman iyong pagkain na parang naka-rolyo.

"What's this?" Nagtatakang tanong niya kay Cloud.

"It's called Pita Pinwheel." Cloud opened the plastic container for him and for some reason, Jacques can imagine the scent that must be coming out from the food. It looks delicious. It's well made.

Unang tingin palang, alam na niyang pinaghirapan ni Cloud ang paggawa sa pagkain na nasa harapan niya ngayon at gustong-gusto niyang matikman 'yon.

Cloud's effort made him feel warmth that he couldn't explain. "It looks fucking good."

"Tastes good too." May pagmamalaking sabi ni Cloud.

Jacques gave Cloud a deadpan look. "Too much confidence can fucking kill you, motherfucker."

Cloud just chuckled and confidently shrugged.

Ibinalik ni Jacques ang tingin sa pagkaing nasa plastic container saka kumuha siya ng isang slice. Tiningnan muna niya iyon ng ilang segundo bago ipinasok sa bibig niya ng buo.

Cloud was looking at him expectantly.

"Well?" Cloud inquired, hopeful. "How is it? Did you taste anything?"

Umiling siya. He would never confess to Cloud that he could taste something because of his brain's psychological response.

"Nothing?" Ulit na tanong ni Cloud.

Umiling ulit siya. It tastes the same as Cloud's other cooking, no flavour, just a good taste that he can't explain, so Jacques knew that it's his brain again. The Psychological response.

Cloud looks so disappointed. "Fuck. Akala ko may malalasahan ka na. I put a lot of spices, herbs and seasonings."

Nagkibit-balikat lang si Jacques at tahimik na kumain hanggang sa naubos niya ang laman ng plastic box. Then he handed the empty box to Cloud who silently accepted it and put it back on the paper bag.

"Thanks." Aniya.

When Cloud who was deep in thought didn't respond, Jacques closed his eyes again to rest. It's gonna be another hour before they reach their destination.

Jacques fell asleep quicker than he thought he would and every time his sleeps deepens, his head would wobble. At sa tuwing bumabagsak ang ulo niya sa balikat niya, nagigising siya ng ilang segundo at matutulog na naman, pagkatapos ay mauulit na naman ang nangyari.

And looks like the man beside him has had enough of his wobbling head.

Jacques felt a hand on the other side of his head guiding him to lean on the shoulder of the man sitting next to him. Jacques mind was half-awake and half-asleep.

He knew that the owner of the hand and shoulder were Cloud, he could feel his familiar warmth because he had felt that before when they slept on the same bed, twice. In this close proximity, if Jacques could smell, he's pretty sure he could smell Cloud's scent ... but he lacked sense of smell.

The feeling of disappointment washed through him, making him confuse.

But before he could figure out the reason of his disappointment, his brain was already shutting down and the next thing he knew, he was swallowed by darkness and was pulled to oblivion.


*

CLOUD KNEW THAT Lord Jacques loves branded clothes and expensive things, but shopping with him together with Lady SM and Dimitri in Hong Kong, gives shopping a whole new meaning. It's like the Marquess wants to buy the whole store. Lahat yata ng mga high-end na boutique napuntahan na nila, at wala silang nilabasang boutique na wala silang dala — siya lang pala.

Ginawa lang naman siyang taga-bitbit ng Marquess na ikinailing nalang niya,. Hindi naman 'yon mabigat kaya hinayaan na niya.

Of course, the Marquess was back to being bossy again. As if that'll ever change. But to Cloud's surprise, even he likes that side of him— when the Marquess acts like a pampered son of a bitch.

Napailing nalang ulit si Cloud habang tinitingnan ang mga paper bag na bitbit niya. Ang daming pinamili ng Marquess. Hindi niya alam kung nagpa-panic buying 'to ng mga damit. The Marquess keeps saying 'it's cheap' while he shops.

Cloud wasn't new to lavish lifestyle, but he's not an extravagant spender like the Marquess.

Well, he's a Marquess after all.

"Is this okay?" Tanong sa kaniya ng Marquess habang may pinapakita ito sa kaniyang polo. Sa pagkakataong 'yon, nasa Armani store sila.

Cloud doesn't know why the Marquess was asking but he just nodded. "Looks cool."

Tumango ito saka isinama iyon sa bibilhin nito.

"How about this?" The Marquess showed him a polo shirt this time.

"It's good."

Tumango ang Marquess saka isinama rin iyon sa bibilhin nito.

Hinayaan niya lang itong mamili. Lady SM and Dimitri did the same. They just let the Marquess shop to his heart content until he was satisfied.

Overall, it was a good day, even his crazy boss followed them to Hong Kong. Then his boss and the Marquess started arguing about nonsense things again. It was supposed to be a good day for everyone, but their day was ruined by one bullet — and that bullet hit Lady SM.

Everything went chaotic after that.

At dahil kilala ni Cloud ang boss niya, hindi siya humarang sa daraanan nito. Hindi niya ito kinausap at hinayaan lang ito sa nararamdaman nito. Basta siniguro niyang kung kailangan nito ng kahit na ano, naka-suporta at nasa tabi lang siya nito.

And when he spoke to his boss for the first time after the incident and his boss threatened and blamed him for what happened to Lady SM, Cloud accepted it. His boss was still livid even after punishing the people who were responsible for what happened to Lady SM.

Cloud understood his boss' anger.

Though after what happened, Cloud feels like he's taking care of two hard headed people.

His boss who couldn't visit Lady SM inside the infirmary and Lord Jacques who keeps on blaming himself for what happened. Good thing Dimitri was there, helping him take care of Lady SM while he takes care of the two bull headed nobles.

"My Lord, you should eat." Maingat na inilapag ni Cloud ang niluto niyang pagkain para sa boss niya. His boss had been cooped up inside his office in Hong Kong Orgánosi HQ since last night. "Hindi magugustuhan ni Lady SM kapag nangayayat ka. Hindi mo na nga siya binibisita, hindi ka pa kumakain, ano nalang ang sasabihin niya?" Cloud has to manipulate his boss a little. "Binisita ko si Lady SM kanina. Sabi ni Dimitri nagising na raw si Lady SM pero nakatulog ulit. See? She's doing okay now. Just a couple more days and Lady SM will be back to normal."

His boss sighed. "I'm scared, Cloud..."

"I know, my lord. But Lady SM is okay now—"

"About my father."

Natigilan si Cloud saka nagsalita. "Dahil ba siguradong malalaman niya ang tungkol kay Lady SM dahil sa nangyari ngayon?"

Tumango ang kaharap. "He will break me and SM apart. I'm sure of that. Then he will punish me," his boss looked at him, "and you ... I'm sorry, Cloud, for always dragging you to my mess."

Cloud smiled at his boss. "My lord, I have always been with you since I was fourteen and it's always been an honour for me to serve you and support you. Don't think about anything, my lord, focus on Lady SM—"

"— he'll punish you, Cloud."

"I know." His smile remains. "For my lord's happiness, I can accept any punishment."

Finally, the Count smiled. "I honestly don't know what I'll do without my one hell of a butler."

Mahinang natawa si Cloud. "I'm pretty sure you'll die of hunger, my lord, and your house will be a fucking mess."

Count Knight chuckled before his face went serious. "I'm sorry for blaming you last night, Cloud. I was just so mad, I wasn't thinking right."

Cloud smiled. "Eat and I'll forgive you."

Naiiling na tumawa ang boss niya. "The Marquess' bossiness is rubbing off on you. Not a good sign, Cloud."

Ngumiti lang siya saka bahagyang yumukod dito. "I'll leave you to your meal, my lord. Please finish everything, or you'll make Lady SM worry."

"Yeah, yeah." His boss said dismissively making him chuckled before leaving.

Nang makalabas siya sa opisina ng boss niya, tinungo niya ang elevator na maghahatid sa kaniya pataas habang dala-dala ang isa pang paper bag na may lamang pagkain. He made food for his lord, Dimitri and of course, for The Marquess.

Like every Orgánosi Headquarters, it's always situated below Racini's Hotel.

Nang tumigil ang elevator sa ground floor, pinindot niya ulit ang boton at nagpahatid siya sa ika-tatlumpu't-siyam na palapag.

When the elevator stopped and popped open, Cloud stepped out and walked towards room 39-E.

He used his key card to get in and immediately saw The Marquess on the living room of the hotel room, looking at nothing.

Inilapag niya ang paper bag na dala sa round table. "Here's your lunch."

"I hate take out."

"It's not a take out." Sabi niya saka inilabas ang pagkain na nasa plastic container. "I used the kitchen in the Hotel to cook this for you."

Lihim na napangiti si Cloud ng makitang kaagad na naging interesadong kumain ang Marquess. He doesn't know why Lord Jacques likes his cooking even though he couldn't taste anything, but he's not complaining. It actually feels nice — he felt appreciated.

Habang kumakain ang Marquess, pumasok siya sa kuwarto para sana maligo ng makita niya ang maraming damit sa ibabaw ng kama. Kasama ang mga 'yon sa pinamili ng Marquess.

Cloud shook his head before folding all the clothes. Ihiniwalay lang niya ang damit na pinabili niya sa Marquess kahapon na siyang susuotin niya ngayon.

Pagkatapos niyang tupiin lahat ng damit na nagkalat sa kama, saka lang siya naligo.

Twenty minutes later, he walked out of the room, shirtless, while drying his wet hair with a towel.

"How's the food?" Tanong niya sa Marquess habang naglalakad siya patungo sa salas.

Nang hindi sumagot ang Marquess, tinigil niya ang pagtuyo niya sa buhok para humarap dito.

And he caught the Marquess looking at his body — like he was examining it.

Cloud sent a flirty smile to the Marquess who immediately scowled and become irritated.

Cloud shook his head and decided not to tease the Marquess any further. He's still actually confused with all this, but the difference now, he's not stopping himself anymore. Instead of questioning everything he does or feel for the Marquess, he just let it go and just went with the flow.

He believes that at the end of this flow, he'll have his answers.

For now, he doesn't want to overthink. He's a calm and levelheaded individual before this started, he has to stay that way to figure this all out.

If what he's feeling now would really lead him to that path, then come what may.

Accepting himself was far more important than anything. Because he believes that, before others could accept him for who he was becoming, he must accept himself first.

Syempre, nagsisinungaling siya kung sasabihin niyang hindi siya natatakot. He's fucking scared to death because of his sudden change of sexual preference, but he's far more scared of being a stranger to his own emotion and body.

To avoid that, he has to understand and accept the changes in him, however scary and shocking it may be.

"Cloud, pass me that water bottle." His thoughts were cut off hearing the Marquess bossy voice.

Nilingon ni Cloud ang water bottle na nasa gilid lang ng round table. The Marquess just had to lean forward, put some little effort and reached for it, but the Marquess was a son of a bitch so Cloud was sure that he's not gonna do it.

Nameywang na humarap siya sa Marquess. "Lord Jacques, I like you and I wanna spoil you so fucking bad, but, I have my limit." Tinuro niya ang water bottle, "go get it yourself. You're not even gonna stand up, you're just gonna lean forward."

The Marquess grumbled in annoyance before reaching for the water bottle.

The corner of Cloud's lips quirked up. "That's my good boy."

Kaagad na pinakita sa kaniya ng Marquess ang gitnang daliri nito bago uminom ng tubig.

"By the way," Cloud hanged the towel on his left shoulder, "bakit nakakalat sa kama 'yong mga damit na pinamili mo?"

The Marquess made a confused look. "I already packed the clothes I bought and I had them delivered to my plane."

Now, Cloud was the one confused. "Kung ganun, kanino ang mga damit na 'yon? As far as I know, I only have two clothes in there and then this one." Aniya sabay turo sa jeans na suot.

"Those are all your clothes." Anang Marquess na tumayo mula sa pagkakaupo sa sofa.

Cloud was still confused as fuck as his eyes followed The Marquess who was now walking towards the room. Nang makabalik ang Marquess sa salas pagkalipas ng ilang segundo, dala-dala na nito ang mga bagong damit na tinupi niya at inilapag nito iyon sa gilid ng mahabang sofa.

"Here. All yours."

Cloud has the 'what the fuck are you talking about' expression on his face. "Those are not mine. I didn't bought them."

"I did." Anang Marquess na ngayon ay naglalakad na pabalik sa kuwarto. "I bought them all for you so put a fucking shirt on." Then The Marquess closed the door to the room, leaving him in the living room, flabbergasted.

Seconds later, a goofy smile crept into Cloud's lips, his eyes followed towards the door which was quickly shut by the Marquess the moment he entered.

"... and you said not to get my hopes up," Cloud chuckled then shook his head, "you're being unfair, my lord."