S6|SFW|Bittersweet Fluff

Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream...

He kept repeating the song in his mind over and over. Partially because he was bored, partially to ignore his pain, but mostly to stop himself from always looking towards the girl in front of him.

They were at sea, no land to be seen as of yet, and he was rowing the boat to no end. He hated to admit that he vastly preferred the Misfortune's Keep as a mode of transportation.

Still, they were together. That was all that mattered in the end.

She wasn't really talking to him, still upset about him not letting her row the boat herself. But at that moment, she was the one who needed protection from an evil djinn, and so she took it upon himself to be a gentleman.

Nya didn't dare to rest or even close her eyes for a little while, even when they had been at this for hours by that point. His back hurt like heck, but he didn't give in to the exhaustion.

As they were preparing to leave, he had taken the time to look at himself in the mirror. Without her noticing, he lifted up his gi and rolled up his sleeves. He frowned at the bruises scattered across his body.

He covered himself up before her gaze could catch him. She had seen the way he was limping, the way he was still struggling to row the boat; but she didn't say anything. He didn't know whether she was waiting for him to spill it all out or not.

Nevertheless, he kept on rowing under the blazing sun.

She was messing with a ball of water floating above her hand. With it she made various shapes, from a sphere to a pyramid and even a heart. With that last shape in particular, she brought it in front of her face and then a bit further away. She looked through it. It was perfectly framing her across her. And though his struggle was painful to see, she stared at him through the heart-shaped lens, a battle ensuing within the confines of her heart. In the end, she let herself get lost.

He glanced up at her, and she jumped. In her surprise, she let go of the floating water, and the heart came crashing in onto the boat before he could notice its shape.

He flinched, pulling away. "Nya, I thought we agreed not to flood the boat."

"Sorry," she said quickly, picking the water back up and letting drop into the sea. She looked down and then towards the horizon, hoping her burning face would be covered by the sunlight.

It was far from the first time she had caught herself staring at him. She never stopped doing it, even when she knew that she should have. She knew there was something about him; something she had lost, and something she was too stubborn to get back.

A million words flooded her mind, all the things she wanted to tell him since the moment they first met. But she was never good with words, at least compared to him, and so she let her insecurity take over. She wished she could reach out and just...

No, she wasn't supposed to use that word. As if her internal conflict wasn't enough, she had to have an evil villain chasing after her to make her his Frankenstein bride or something like that. She wanted to bury her face in the water and scream her frustrations out, but even that was an impossible task.

The boat came to a stop without her noticing. The light creak of its planks reached her ears too late, for Jay had already crawled his way towards her, limping as always.

He placed his arm around his shoulder. Her heart began to rapidly thrum. She wanted to run away, to avoid gazing into his eyes till the end of time.

"You okay?" he whispered.

But at the same time she melted underneath his touch, a feeling she had long yearned for. She wanted to savour every moment, she wanted to stay there forever and feel as safe as she did in that very moment. She forgot about Nadakhan, about her struggles, about how angry she was with the world. She imagined them stargazing in the Sea of Sands, watching a sappy romcom in the Monastery, cuddling and kissing on her bed until midnight—

"Yeah," she said. "You?"

"I don't know." His voice was lacking its distinct playfulness and charm. He was looking into the distance blankly, as if waiting for her to continue. But before she could utter a word, he did it himself: "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I don't know... Everything." He struggled to speak. "I'm the reason we got into this mess in the first place. If I hadn't started making all these stupid wishes..." He rubbed his eye. "And the funny thing is, he really did give me hope that you could love me."

She hated that word. She loathed it, in fact. But she adored it at the same time. So much emphasis placed on a single word... But the way she would melt every time it escaped his mouth was hypnotising. He deserved someone who could say it to his face without fear, who could speak their mind and communicate their feelings. She really did love him. But it was too late to come to that realisation now.

She tried not to lace her tone with anger. "You could never impress me with a mansion or an expensive boat, you know that."

To her surprise, he chuckled. "Yeah, all you need is my jacket and a new sword."

She hated that he was still right.

The fabric of his gloves made contact with the crook of her neck and his thumb unintentionally caressed her skin, sending shivers down her spine.

She debated whether she would regret her decision. In the end, she went for it.

She almost laughed when she leaned against him and he let out a squeak she had a long time to hear. She was reminded of their first movie night, when he was sitting on the other side of the couch and she made the bold attempt to move closer and rest her head against his chest. The rhythm of his heartbeat was just as fast then as it was now, and she tried to prevent herself from getting lost in it.

He was staring down at her when she spoke. Her words flooded his heart, and he hoped she wouldn't notice his mind getting lost in thought.

"I'm sorry too. For everything."

"No worries, I deserved that spider mission... I would've done the same if I was that rightfully pissed."

She frowned. 'No, you wouldn't have'. "No, I mean... For pushing you away. And for not telling you how I really feel."

"It's okay. I still love you, but... what can ya do?" His awkward chuckle quieted, waiting patiently for her reaction.

"I really care about you. And I liked you just the way you were before your wishes."

"I know. I care about you too." He leaned further in, pressing his cheek against her head. He was always touchy. It made her feel warm inside. Under normal circumstances, she would thank him with a kiss. But the thought of that terrified her as much as it intrigued her.

"Jay?"

He looked down at her and her heart skipped a beat.

'I want to be with you'. She blinked. "Uh... nevermind."

"Tell me what's bothering you."

'I've always loved you'. "Not now. We have other things to focus on. But... soon. Maybe after this is all over."

"Promise?"

She nodded. "Promise. But only if you let yourself rest."

"Sounds like a good trade to me," he said, laying down. "Ten minutes only. Then I'm taking over."

"Keep telling that to yourself, blueboy."

She knew she was being stupid. They had to get moving. He would wake up, see they hadn't moved as much as he'd like, and push himself even further to get them faster to the their destination.

At the same time, she wanted to enjoy every second. She wanted to let herself feel what she had missed. He deserved that kind of care.

So, while his eyes were still closed, she leaned down next to him, bringing her hand closer to his face. Upon contact, his breath hitched, but he didn't show any signs of being awake.

She gently stroked his hair and then the areas of his bruises. Underneath her touch, he smiled, but he didn't let her see that he was far from asleep.

In retrospect, he had gotten carried away more than once. She was like a scared cat, one to be approached with caution and gentleness before she could bring her walls down. He had leapt over those walls, and he couldn't stop his guilt. He didn't know what she was going through; but he felt like he had lost his chance to know.

There were times when she would let her guard down, almost always when the two were alone. She would scoot onto his lap, she would kiss him secretly before a mission, she would intertwine their arms as they walked. No one was there to see it, yet it made it all the more special; he loved her, and even if she had never admitted it herself, he wanted to show it to her as much as he could.

He kept his eyes shut and savoured the moment. She never let him care for him in the way that he did; so he sat still, letting her do her work.

He proved to himself what he already knew: that he hadn't lost her, after all.